My fiance is with me for my family money

I found out my fiance is with me for money family business to preface my family owns a business that is very well known in our sector and makes loads of profit thus I'm a trust fund baby I try to not be spoiled and have always worked myself I met my fiance mark when I was 20 and working as a waitress we began dating a few moths later and he proposed to me last year now mark is not poor he is upper-middle class and while he doesn't struggle in life he didn't have too much to spend and lived very frugal I thought he was an honest man because he always wanted to pay for his own things reject expensive family holidays when we were still dating and he would cook for me instead of going with me dining outside what I want to say is that I never had the impression that mark was trying to take advantage of me or my family in the beginning my family was a little sketched out and brought up the gold digger argument and I stood up for him and fought with my dad they came to love and accept him when Mark graduated dad hired him and now he is in a high earning position Sunday I was super stew work in the evening and I was going to stay with my sister but I got a fever and was basically just non functioning so I stayed home instead of staying in our bedroom I made my way to the guest room that is better ventilated has a mini-fridge and its own bathroom I didn't want to stand up at all and walk around so I just bunkered all my stuff there and closed the door mark came home when I was fast asleep and I was woken up by loud voices in our garden I pushed the curtains a bit to the side and Mark was there with a few friends just as I wanted to say hello I noticed that they were talking about me his friend kept laughing and calling mark the man then they started laughing about me being willing to not sign up a nob then one of the girls that was there said something along the lines of Jesus you about to make some Bank mark mark laughed and said yeah just three more years and I'm free at this moment I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up I kept hearing them calling me trust-fund Barbie and stupid and so on I didn't know what to do so I just lied petrified in my bed and waited till the people left and Mark went to bed I texted my sister and snuck out to her place in the middle of the night and just passed out without telling her anything I haven't returned home and just told mark that I was sick and didn't want to make him sick my sister has been really worried that I just feel so ashamed about everything my family was right mark is a gold digger and I fell for it even if I tell my family what happened I have no proof my father can't fire him just because he is Adi as far as I know he is excellent at what he does and he has no legal force to fire him I think I just feel so confused ashamed and angry and would have proceeded some insight update I was very tempted to play the long game and lead him on but I decided to just present him with a prenup to look into his reaction after telling my dad we invited mark for lunch and would serve Him the print up there however to be sure about things I asked him if he had had anyone over because our neighbors had complained about loud noises he said yes that his buddies were there he didn't mention the girls that I saw we finished lunch and had served him the paper saying that it was a must for getting married you could instantly see that he didn't expect this he got angry and asked me to speak to him alone we went into the other room and he began babbling about blindsiding him and that this just really felt like a personal attack he was trying so hard to sell me the role of victim and making me out to be the villain then he just said that he needed to think everything trough and left I have to admit I kinda broke down and began second-guessing me that I could keep it together my family happily didn't pull the i-told-you-so we looked into everything and I have the legal right to evict him the lawyer handled everything wrote an official eviction notice and after a lot of talk dad decided to present mark with a deal so that he would leave the company after that was all sorted out I decided to just simply text as one of you suggested hey mark trust-fund Bobby here as you said he would be free in three years I'll do you a big favor ever and set you free now kisses up my phone completely blow up with marks messages after I send that he texted and called me so many times I had to switch off my phone he came to my sister's place as he wanted to explain the situation he promised that it was just a joke like a million times I said it wasn't cutting it they disrespected me in my own house and I didn't want to be with Simone that puts me down in order to appear better he pleaded her cried he begged me not to end things when I wasn't budging he got mad at me accusing me of spying on him and ruining his life honestly then his man had changed once again to apologetic he eventually owned up to the comment he made still insisting that it was just a bad joke and then when I asked him why he didn't tell me about those random girls that appeared to know so much about me he told me this weird story of them being cousins from one of his buddies and that they know of me because of my Instagram which is private and I have like 30 followers I stood strong and I ended things with him I will never know what exactly his plan was but it's better to have things this way we still have to sort out some financial stuff but after that I won't ever see Marc again sorry for any mistakes I am really sleepy just thought it would be good to update you my wife and I have been married for eight years and we dated for a long time before that I own my family business fashion and jewelry we have two daughters first off I'll be honest with you guys I'm not an attractive person I look average at best I don't have a chiseled body but I'm fit my wife is really beautiful and I always wondered what she saw in me I was bald at 19 so I hope you guys get the picture when I was in my twenties I was very awkward and introverted I didn't date many girls because no one was interested in me I met my wife in college we had similar interests and I fell in love with her I asked her out and she said yes I was on cloud nine and we never looked back yesterday was our anniversary we had a small celebration when we were about to sleep my why started crying I was really worried because I did not understand why she hugged me and told me that she wanted to confess something she ended up telling me that she faked her love for me when we were dating she also told me that she cheated on me when we were dating but she fell in love with me a couple of years after we got married she told me that she really matured at that time and realized that I was the most important person in her life she also claims that she never cheated on me once we got married she told me because she really felt guilty she told me that she would do everything to make it up I was really devastated I always kind of wondered what she saw in me and I think I have my answer now I'm broken I also know that I only know this because she confessed I don't know what to do and I need help moving past this can you guys help me with some advice I'm 29 she's 28 I come from a poor family but I'm highly educated she comes from a rich family but has never had a job we are both only children we became engaged last Christmas but have been seeing each other for five years I only learned her family is wealthy about three years into our relationship she sprung on me two days ago that she and her family want me to sign a prenuptial agreement before we get married to protect her the prenup details are essentially that we retain financial independence and neither of us are entitled to whatever we make during the marriage with assets split accordingly this was never mentioned before so I assumed there would be none we talked a bit and I decided to call off the engagement and wedding more like postpone it until we can work it out and everyone from all sides is calling me an idiot I'd love you opinion on if I'm being won or not when we get married it was floating around that her parents would buy us a house in a more rural area near them my fiance was all raring to go with this idea but I'm apprehensive especially with the prenup as they described my job prospects dramatically diminish if we do because my job is very technical and really only found in bigger sitters unless I could find remote work my options are either not following my degrees career path or commuting six hours each day the latter of which is impossible I think we all can agree on signing a prenup means my capability to make money is diminished with zero security yet it would be foolish not to take that opportunity as it would eliminate rental costs from the equation say I can make 90,000 in the city but only 40,000 where she wants to move if we live there for 10 years then get divorced that's 500,000 of potential earnings I've lost signing the prenup means I can recoup precisely none of it I would sign the prenup if we stayed where I can make the most money or I would move if I don't sign it I just won't see both it would put me at a disadvantage because in a divorce in that situation I'd be out of work in my career fields no house and ten years behind on my career no one is going to hire a 40 year old with little experience in my career path I'm not a gold digger if her parents pass and give her their vast wealth I would hope in the event of a divorce that she kept the lands share I would never expect 5050 but I would expect compensation for my losses to get married and moved to where she wants to move I need to give up my career basically something I wouldn't do otherwise I love my fiancee but I need some kind of security in that I don't give up my career for nothing my earning potential would be more or less haft if we got married and moved and I want security in that I'm not giving up that opportunity for nothing I tried to compromise in two ways I'd sign a prenup that said it was dissolved after five years her parents are worried we'll get married I ditch her in the first year and take their money at least this shows commitment on my end I also considered a prenup where it becomes dissolved if my fiancee shows infidelity something she was vehemently against I don't know why that would be a problem but the fact she won't is a red flag I can't sign a prenup that benefits her if she can ruin our marriage at any time ultimately I thought our love was unconditional but apparently not because I won't bring out that's not in my best interest I don't want to get married we can remain common-law forever it's not like a wedding is necessary or mandatory anyways we've been together for three years and everything was going amazing until I proposed last month since then it's been nothing but stress we had two amazing wonderful nights and then I went from being happy and hopeful to being absolutely miserable in the space of 34 days we went to her family's for dinner and the first thing her mom said after she showed them her English now that's just a placer holder until you can pick out your a ring right when my fiancee said no it was her real engagement ring her mom gave me a look and then she and her other daughter nagged at me about how important it is to have a diamond engagement ring and they got progressively nastier as the night went on I left their house feeling like I was a dumb cheap mean B then the next week after we signed the prenup that my dad insisted on her family really exploded I got angry phone calls from her mom her sister even her aunt who I barely know my fiancee has known for a long time if she married me she'd have to sign a prenup and she was fine with doing so I was disinvited to family events and after the first week of nasty texts and calls her family blocked my phone and unfriended me on social media but didn't block me now her mother and sister keep making public fafsa book posts about how awful I am and how much they wish my fiance would come to her senses and dump me my fiance has been more quiet than usual not as loving as she normally is she says it's just the situation stressing her out but I'm worried she might be thinking of leaving me I asked her if she loves me I asked her if she still wants to have a life together and she says yes but she looks really annoyed every time I ask I don't know what to do to fix this I can't get rid of the prenup or I'm disinherited and the trust fund that becomes available to me next year is a big part of our plans for our future that we've made I offered to take her shopping for another ring but she said she didn't want to do that and asked me to not mention it again last night she asked could I please stop bugging her about where our relationship stands until the end of the month help please what do I do what do I say so we can stay together I love her edit about the ring it's not a shrink so many of you are assuming it's a custom-made antique reproduction with emeralds and dragonflies on it my fiance likes green stones old stuff and dragonflies I had it made by the same jeweler she had make her some custom earrings once and she shops for herself at his store all the time so I figured he professionally know what to make for her I even asked her best friend to look at the design to make sure it was the right style since I know duck all about antique jewelry it cost me 14 G the budget was 50 G and I'm using the rest of the budget to take my fiance to Europe on our honeymoon so she can see a bunch of old castles and museums since that's her thing I really thought I chose wisely and a one-of-a-kind ring and a big adventure trip instead of a diamond was the right way to go I was given up for adoption when I was six months old I was born profoundly deaf I ended being adopted by two insane people who made my life miserable I cut off contact with them once I went to university and have been relatively happier since I recently looked for my birth parents and was able to track them down they are actually married to each other and have three kids so this is what pissed me off my siblings are 25 20 and 16 I'm 23 also they seemed to come from rich families I message both of them on Facebook and they ended up meeting me they were very clearly guilty and my birth mother ended up crying and said they gave me up because they were told I'd have mental disabilities growing up and if they'd known they wouldn't have given me up at all instead they told everyone I died I was not able to accept this at all it just made me angrier I told them I'd tell everyone about how they abandoned me especially since they had the means to care for me this freaked them out because they had a lot to lose it suddenly devolved into a weird situation where first they paid off my study loans then I started getting money every month to make up for the years I struggled I never asked for any of this but I didn't stop them either the amount of money they are giving me as nearly three times more than what I make at my job I'm not going to lie I'm enjoying this financial payoff I haven't told anyone about it and I'm saving most of it so I can retire early I'm also going on trips I could have never dreamed of affording but a part of me feels like I'm extorting from these people another part of feels like I deserve it they deprived me of a good family life so they should pay a minor I earn a significant income and I expected to grow more in the coming years my investments will also mature in a few years in which I can expect to be decently wealthy I'm saying this to emphasize that in an event of a divorce I have a lot to lose I have told my thin K several times that I will not marry without some sort of protection or guarantee for my financial future at the time she agreed but now I think she simply said whatever it took at the time to get me on board with marriage she probably didn't think I was serious but I certainly was and am I talked this over with my lawyer and he drafted what I consider to be a pretty ironclad prenuptial agreement based on my concerns he even suggested adding an infidelity clause which I didn't think of but certainly welcomed the suggestion I talked this over with my fee on K and told her to go over the pronoun with her lawyer to see if we can reach mutually agreeable terms she got very offended that I even felt a necessity for one to say she got upset would be an understatement she was particularly offended by the infidelity clause I certainly did not expect this reaction from her she is now insisting that she will sign no prenups her reaction is making me have second thoughts she claims that I'm not respecting our relationship and I'm expecting it to fail which is not true however life is unpredictable and anything can happen at in a time so I'm just trying to protect my financial future in case of a divorce I'm beginning to question everything after her response especially to the infidelity Klaus I thought we had a good relationship and never questioned her loyalty before but why should she get so offended if there is nothing to hide it really feels like she would prefer to take me to the cleaners in the event of a divorce keep in my mind most of the terms in the prenup including the infidelity clause also applies to me she is more than welcome to modify it because I'm faithful and have nothing to hide but at this point I'm planning on just calling the whole thing off am I not right

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 86,913

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Keywords: reddit, reddit girl, reddit fiance, reddit woman, reddit money, reddit prenup, askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit woman, askreddit money, reddit marriage, askreddit marriage, reddit relationship, askreddit relationship, reddit family, reddit parents in law, reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit wedding, r/askreddit, r/ girl, reddit entitled parents, reddit parents, prenup

Id: IDgtIeVuM54

Length: 18min 21sec (1101 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 06 2020