My family insists that my fiancé is a gold digger

[Music] my girlfriend of three years fiance for the last eight months is a former model or rather she still models off and on but her work is sporadic and she made most of her money doing runway shows and print ads during her twenties she had invested much of her earnings and is basically set for life with a modest but very livable income before she moved in with me she had her own apartment and paid her own rent now that we are engaged i don't ask her to pay any part of the rent but she insists on paying for the utilities whiffy the home er winners association fees and for half of the groceries i work in finance but moonlight once a week as an instructor at a trendy spin slash cycling studio which is on the ground floor of the building we live in it keeps me in shape and it's fun my fiance always attends my classes as a student my fiance is russian and doesn't speak much english she does speak french and because my own family is from a french background we communicate in that language together my fiance is three months pregnant with my child according to her doctor my mother 63 has always been against our relationship as for my two sisters 30 and 31 my father 62 has no opinion other than well done son my mother and father are divorced and my father left my mother the house and a significant portion of his retirement account he lives with his new family wife son 20 daughter 18 in brooklyn my wife is absolutely unbelievably beautiful it's easy to believe she's a model you've probably seen her she has done lots of ads for agent provocateur and numerous fragrance companies my mother and sisters therefore believe that there's no way such a woman could possibly be interested in a person like me according to my mother i've never been handsome even though i might be otherwise in excellent shape physically thanks to the spin classes and surely my fiance must only see dollar signs with me because i earned six figures although i had no need to explain myself or my fiance i told my mother that my fiance is financially independent that didn't matter to my mother who insisted my fiance wants to step up and become not just financially independent but rich my sisters also chime in and tell me to open my eyes and stop being so naive i know they're full of [ __ ] but they are endlessly spreading it around to our relatives that i have been fooled and am being used by a goldiger they are doing this in english and my fiance doesn't understand most of what they are saying but she's not a [ __ ] and she knows they don't like her it really hurts her and i've seen her crying about it on more than one occasion when my mother and sisters found out about my fiance's condition rather than congratulate us my mother just clapped her hands like a wall lock and said aha now you see she's trapped you now you're stuck i mean wow thanks mom she had a completely different attitude toward my sister's children all four of them are nearing adolescence now and their husbands both of whom ended up cheating on them and divorcing them doesn't stop any of them from judging me though when i announced our engagement my fiance's parents were delighted and they are traveling at their own expense to america from russia they are staying at my apartment when they arrive for the wedding my mother told me that this was all a ruse for them to go dig from me she also told me that she cannot in good conscience condone my marriage and she is withdrawing her support i haven't depended on my mother's support since moving out of her house that dad paid for at 18. since then i supported myself on student loans and paid those back with my own money that i earned but it still hurts it also hurts that all of them are telling family members that i'm a fool and i'm destined to be heartbroken and that i'm a stereotypical nerd with a hot trophy wife a lot of my relatives are shaking their heads in tsktsk disappointment at me even my sister's kids are saying that my future wife is using me my sisters actually tried to trick me into having an intervention where they their kids an uncle or two and my mom tried to sit me down and explain to me that there's no way my beautiful wife could actually love me i walked out in rage and disgust i never told my fiance about it when she found out my sisters don't like her all she did was put on a poker face and tell me she's used to not being liked wtf really i don't get it this whole thing upsets me but it makes me even more upset that my future wife is sad any advice on how to deal with this any time my fiance has ever been around my mom but especially near my sisters it's like a glacier came out of nowhere my sisters are so cold to her why my fiance is sweeter than both my sisters are also saying my fiance is too old for me and that she's just trying to snag a rich and ugly younger guy to take care of her my dad and his family are the only one who's happy for me other than my friends my fiance was totally bummed that she wouldn't get to be friends with my sisters who are similar age to her how do you deal with family that won't stop trashing you i feel like my rep is getting bashed all over the place my ex-wife and i divorced eight years ago three years later i met and started dating my wife 30 and we got married i have a son eric 12 with my ex-wife and we share equal custody my wife and son get along really well i also have a seven month old son with my wife my ex-wife doesn't seem to respect our boundaries she tried to crash our wedding but i anticipated it and had my brother act as a bouncer outside and he refused her entry for the birth of our son we had eric waiting in hospital with our parents we wanted him there to meet his new brother my ex-wife insisted on coming to the hospital as well she said if eric was there then she had every right to be there this was an intimate moment between my wife and i and our family which she is no longer a part of my brothers and rest of the family refused to let her in and inform the nurses and hospital staff as well she didn't get to see or meet our son but i thought that her insistence to be there was very rude and it made for a very embarrassing and trying situation and made the nurse and hospital staff jobs harder my wife and ex-wife also don't get along at all they are completely different in personality my wife is a more fitness makeup girly kind of person she isn't into academics but she's not stupid and has a respectable job my ex-wife is a complete opposite more into academic has a phd and not into health and fitness or makeup like my wife my ex-wife called my wife a vapid superficial bimbo and airhead on social media and tagged her in it ever since they do not get along at all i support my wife 100 obviously eric recently turned 12 and his mother and i are celebrating his birthday separately he already celebrated his birthday with his mother and i'm having a separate birthday party for him with my family my ex-wife has been insisting that she will be there even though i explicitly told her she's not invited i'm really at my wit's end with her i feel like i have to have someone to physically stop her from intruding on every important moment how can i get her to understand and respect these boundaries she's not part of my family anymore she's the mother of my son that's it how can i get this through her head my brother's wife also recently had a baby and my ex-wife wanted to come although my brother and sil said no i was waiting anxiously for her to show up and have to stop her from coming in but thankfully she never showed up i still felt bad that i was indirectly causing additional stress to my brother and still when it was already a stressful time for them aside from these issues we usually co-parent well backstory my husband and i are very much in love we met over five years ago through work and got married last year it was my first marriage and his second we recently bought a house together and everything and decided it was a good time to start a family after months of trying i'm now pregnant with a beautiful wrinkly fetus i'm about five months along at the moment and though i feel a bit more emotional craving crazy than i used to be i still feel rather healthy and good about myself my husband was supportive and took very good care of me until ever obviously not her real name came into our life ever ever is from my husband's first marriage he was married to a kind woman who after only four years of marriage grew bored of him and cheated on him with many men when my husband found out he went through her cell phone on a gut feeling he was livid and upset with her she had been sending and receiving n for months back despite this he wanted to work things out with her but she had already moved in with another man take a nava with her served in divorce papers along with a restraining order she has also sent avatar therapists trying to brainwash her into thinking my husband was a neglectful father my husband took this sack of [ __ ] to court to fight for joint custody but ultimately lost he can only see her a few times a year immediately after winning said sacko [ __ ] took ever and moved to a different city almost three hours away with her new man since her birth in 2007 my husband has only seen ava about a dozen times for special occasions or weddings he technically still has custody of her but not at all primary only on paper meeting we met when i was 20 and he was 30 he was still in the middle of divorce papers and was wrecked from having to pay alimony along with child support and not being able to get any closure on his marriage or access to his daughter we became good friends and hung out often until about a year into the friendship we decided to move in together i needed a roommate and he needed a roommate because he could no longer support himself living alone we fell for each other gradually until we were in love and after his finances were straightened out he proposed to me and we were married last year as i'd said before now long story short ava's rent a womb broke it off with yet another man word of mouth is she met another man online who lives an entire state away and wanted to go live with him she left ava with her parents ava's maternal grandparents who live in our city but the maternal grandparents are old they're old weak and though they like having their granddaughter around they can't raise her they can't help with homework or help her get ready for school they don't drive so one day ever literally just showed up on our doorstep and we've had to readjust our whole lives for her i've never had so much hatred for a seven-year-old in my life i feel like [ __ ] ava is the rudest little girl i've ever seen she has no manners and no consideration for anyone she talks back to her father and gives him attitude she only smiles and acts loving when she wants something like new toys or clothes she wants when she found out she was to get a younger sibling i'll let her rub my belly instead she smacked me she smacked my belly at random times when i walked past her and it makes me livid and drives me to tears i tell her that it's unacceptable to hit anyone especially her sibling but she screams that i'm not her mom and i can't tell her what to do who's heard of that one before i told my husband about her behavior and how she acts when he's not around deliberately makes messes that i have to clean draws on my paintings and books with markers won't eat my home cooked food but demands pizza and ice cream and instead of scolding and disciplining her he placates her and gets her what she wants his idea of scolding is don't do that again okay it's like he's gone from being a dependable family man to a flaccid doormat of a father i want to send her back to her sack of [ __ ] mother maybe she'd be better off in foster care but at this point i don't care anymore is there any way that i can deal with this in a practical way i can't even keep my head straight i don't like feeling toxic when i'm about to be a mother i've tried so hard to be a mother figure to this girl the best i can be but this girl is beastly to me i'm always walking by her with my hands around my belly in case she strikes me again if this is how she is going to be i don't want her to affect my unborn baby she's already having a profound negative effect on my husband i hate her stupid white trash mother for ripping her away from my husband denying him access and then dumping her on her parents and then on to us once she wanted some new out-of-state seat to ride i know this girl is the consequence of her environment it has to be but i don't know what we can do at this point i've never worked with behavioral children and i've never dreamed that i'd be a wicked stepmother figure in the midst of being barefoot and pregnant my question is how the hell can i sort this family out without going absolutely mental i feel like a prisoner in my own home and didn't sign up for this sort of dysfunctional nonsense this is affecting my sanity my marriage and my family any input or solutions are welcome please help my husband and i have been married for two years together for five he and his ex-wife got divorced six years ago she has been remarried for three years now and her husband actually works for the same company as me anyway about a year ago my husband's ex-wife told my husband that she really wanted another baby but her husband refused since he has two kids from a previous marriage and nick my stepson i don't really know why she told him that it's not something we ever needed to know but whatever what's done is done so that brings us to today i'm four months pregnant this is my first marriage in my first baby both my husband and i are extremely excited we've already told both sets of parents and siblings the only person left to tell is nick this will be his first little sibling as his other step siblings are quite a few years older than him i was really excited to tell him and have him be a part of the pregnancy and get him excited about a little brother or sister this is where my husband stopped me he said we shouldn't tell nick because he will tell his mom and that will hurt her feelings since her husband doesn't want another baby when she wants one so bad and we don't want to teach him to keep secrets from his parents so telling him not to tell when it's not something fun like a surprise party or a present isn't good plus he's a little kid he won't keep a secret for five more months i see his point i realize she's probably upset and babies are probably a sore spot for her but this is my baby and nick is my stepson i've been around since he was two years old and have had a pretty big part in raising him too i want to tell him and i want him to be a part of it and while i may not be showing much right now i will be soon and he's old enough and smart enough to know pregnant fat from fat fat point is it's going to be very obvious i'm pregnant soon enough or at least when the baby actually pops out of me i understand wanting to preserve feelings but it's a done deal and it's my husband's ex-wife not my barren sister or something i want to tell my stepson i want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy because who knows if we will want to have another one is my husband right here should i keep this a secret so his ex-wife isn't upset i don't want to go over his head and tell nick anyway because it's his son and that's horrible but i don't want to keep this to myself what do i do [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit entitled parents, reddit money, reddit rich, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ entitledparents, r/money, r/ rich, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit entitled parents, askreddit money, askreddit rich, askreddit

Id: dqeAbCLux4w

Length: 17min 4sec (1024 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 21 2020