MY ALTERS DRAW THEMSELVES | Dissociative Identity Disorder | DissociaDID

hello everybody welcome back to another video by dissociated you may be a little confused what is going on on the screen right now well a lot of you guys asked us can we please have a more fun light-hearted video with everything else that's going on in the world right now and we've been intending to do something and more artsy to compare the difference between our skills how muscle memory transfers between us with the amnesia that occurs between alters and how our Styles present in terms of art and you know preference for color preference for media and that sort of thing so what you're seeing right now is a drawing that mean in is doing on the new graphics tablet we bought all the drawings you're gonna see today none of us have any experience drawing on a graphics tablet that you can draw directly on to before so there's no muscle memory or you know more personal experience using this type of media for anyone over anyone else this was completely new to all of us the first time we've done this I'm trying to draw a self-portrait God okay I'm trying to draw a self-portrait please I'm not a professional artist please don't bash my skills too much we asked on Instagram and we asked on Twitter what would you guys like to see us do to compare our drawing skills and you know let's just see how things differ people asked for pictures of how we look in their inner world inside our headspace the headspace is where the brain conceptualizes and visualizes the compartmentalization of our personality and our mental functioning how we process different things and how the amnesia occurs for each of us has led to each of us having different internal views of ourselves so if you watched our previous video we explained why altars look different from each other if this is still confusing to you I would recommend going and watching that video but essentially as a run down images that are constantly seen through childhood or kind of fed to a child for example this could be through the media it could be because a child see is one person or one trait regularly or perhaps it is visible in their favorite characters and things like that those things may contribute to why and alter looks the way they do and what was necessary for the brain to create at around the time that alter was first needed so if certain traits or certain characteristics reflect to that child's mind an idea of okay for me this represents strength or for me this represents you know validity or trust or safety then those are likely the kind of traits and characteristics that are going to become present in the interview of an alter so none of us see each other the way that our body looks in the mirror when we are in the inner world which is sort of like almost like a dream world in our in our head that can allow us to interact with each other allows these parts of the brain to interact with each other in order to process what's going on in order to begin to process memory and this fragmentation is less extreme there because it allows the brain a place to continue communicating with itself while still holding up all these unusual Xand this separation and fragmentation of the conscious brain this is what I look like in the body and I look pretty similar in a world as you can see from how I've drawn myself my style is kind of sketchy I don't usually use a lot of color when I do my art and also it's been a very hard week and I just stuck to the sketch for this one as you can see it's very basic it's just outlines of basic features of my face where my hair sits what my expression generally is and that I have a very hard time drawing mouths apparently but yeah that's the essence of how I draw I definitely have more experience of drawing than anybody else in my system Chloe used to be extremely artistic I'm still particularly artistic but I don't draw anymore as much as I would like to okay so this next drawing might take a little bit more explanation because during this drawing there were three switch so right now I was doing this so this this is nin starting to draw here with Kyle looking over my shoulder right I wasn't happy with the during I'd already done I wanted to do more of a full body you I suppose that's why you can see me sketching out body features and shapes because I'm sis female that's why it's starting off looking the way it is I'm just using the same kind of brush I was before very wide very sketchy I'm just trying to get shapes and it was around this time I started feeling very dissociated by the time we move on to start drawing the face I had switched out this I believe was partially Kyle and then he switched out to a new alter hasn't picked a name yet this alter is the one that recently split off I believe he's stuck between the names Callum and corner he didn't come with a name he's been searching for a name so he is male and yeah you can see him crossing out the body shape of no twin nope no female body none of that fees and I haven't seen him very clearly yet in sort of my mind's eye or in the inner world or anything like that but I do know that he has brown hair I now know from this drawing of himself that he has curly brown hair also interestingly Conor was a name that Chloe really liked as a child and she used to incorporate into stories a lot for some reason I think it's the double end with the O's either side the symmetry of it I think I liked but it's interesting that he would choose a name similar to that or potentially choose that name because it was familiar to I'm reassuring to us when we were younger or did Chloe when she was younger so as all about now there's been another switch you can see that there are no lines gaps in between the outline of this person still looking relatively masculine right first thing they're going to do is high cheekbones or sunken cheekbones I suppose and very dark eyes and a lot of this sketchy sort of avoid like not even really sure how to describe it it's almost like how dissociation feels and this style is very very very loose they haven't changed the brush they've used a really wide and thin brush which is not the kind of brush that personally I would choose to do when doing details like the face like they're doing right now now the person who's drawing this you can see that they're using a lot of black the person that is drawing this is a persecutor altar we've not introduced this altar on the channel before I don't think that they will ever be on the channel I am not comfortable with them being on the channel and I don't think that they have any particular interest in being part of it this altar is a persecutor called dart and he is one of the first altars that I knew about or that Chloe knew about when I first was told about having the ID my awareness of my altars was very limited and I didn't really see faces or anything like that at the start well I did but I didn't connect that with the D ID it's it's complicated and confusing but dark I i named dark as a nickname and he took that because i guess it fits but i saw him as just sort of a a dark shadow not even a shadow of a person just sort of like a mist a black kind of swirling mist and this mist would tell me things that aren't very pleasant like you know you're horrible you deserve to die you deserve everything bad that's ever happened to you you're disgusting you're horrible human was just very angry and obviously hurting a lot it's interesting to see how he's drawing himself and all this sort of sketchy shapes and it almost looks like broken glass kind of effect and crosses noughts and crosses the sort of very prominent eyes and not really being able to see much else so he is black not black is in the race but that the color black everything is black and I've never been able to get a solid view of what his face looks like it's always just either when I was Nina the shadow outline of the human body or as Chloe just sort of a black swirling mist so is interesting to have this representation of how he sees himself it does seem to line up with sort of an incorporeal body image of this feeling of being shattered or or crossed out there's a lot of sketchy kind of crosses and like dashed lines and these sort of broken squares and triangles shards I guess that would be representative of the way that he feels I'm not gonna try and put words in his mouth but a lot of the time alters appearances and how they form in terms of are they non-human are they male/female non-binary gender fluid how old are they what do they look like how tall are they says a lot about how the brain has incorporated a traumatic experience and how it is visualizing that on a metaphorical level I also find it interesting that he keeps putting in that kind of - broken - on his forehead like across his forehead almost like a wound through his skull I keep noticing it going back to that and just a lot of black clouds so you can see the difference between the three styles so far mine was very very basic but clear you could see what I was trying to do you can see that I was just trying to get down my facial features and that's about it and I would have been a lot more intense with detailing and things like that if I was doing a full piece where as dark has really got into this like this has been I don't know I think this whole drawing based on the you can see the time in the top right corner of the screen I think before I cut this down it was about an hour so that's actually really interesting to me because I didn't know that he would enjoy art I'm not sure if he's done it before why it's going again over the mouse this time as well we've had odors before draw images of them with their mouths sewn together and things like that all their mouths taken away all their eyes taken away the office I've spoken to at least one of them who has drawn themselves like that a lot is actually mute I guess the brain represented that because they were told that they couldn't talk about what happened they weren't allowed to share what happened they weren't allowed to tell anybody it had to be kept a secret I don't know what dark holes this is the full image you can see pretty much just eyes and a lot of sort of shattered fragments it's almost like he's looking through some kind of broken mirror or a cloud I can see so many crosses and sort of glitchy looking squares which is really interesting he's the only one in our system who has a sort of incorporeal body other than the ghost altar Omega so I really appreciate that he did that and it looks like it might have helped I was expecting Kyle to draw something actually because Kyle is well renowned in our system for being really hard at drawing and he really doesn't like it if you found this interesting and a decent distraction then maybe we can do more videos like this depending on who France when as you can see we only really got two or three altars to do this this week because we can't control when we switch out and when people do switch out there's no guarantee that they're gonna want to sit down and view something that I've asked them to do I hope that you stay safe everybody I hope that you enjoyed this more calm distracting video with a more artistic take on how amnesia develops between alters and how that can then affect skill and taste and preference regardless of whether that is just personal preferences towards things or the way that it actually presents when an altar is using the body lots of love everybody I [Music] you [Music] you

Channel: DissociaDID

Views: 2,872,961

Rating: 4.9706421 out of 5

Keywords: did, dissociative identity disorder, multiple personality, multiple personality disorder, dissociaDID, dissociation, switch, mental health, psychology, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, mental health awareness, dissociative identity, dissociating, DissociaDID, Alter, Alters, switch caught on camera, switching caught on camera, DID switching, dissociated personality disorder, DisassociaDID, DissasociaDID, Alters do art, Art, Digital Art, Self portrait, DissociaDID Alters, DissociaDID Art

Id: _Oj5ljayEkA

Length: 13min 30sec (810 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 05 2020