MST3k 815 - Agent for H.A.R.M.

I can't relax miss Teresa what kind of satellite I love hey guys hey Mike hi Mike what's going on extreme it's what's going on Mike yeah Mike you should try it extreme what exactly well take me for example I'm into extreme yoga sides I'm into philately I own you Venezuela 1947 extreme poster whoo now if you thought about what you'd like to be extreme about Mike no fear Miguel I'm not a really extreme you know what I really like rice Wow extreme rice given the clear protection yeah see Mike isn't rice better when it's extreme sure is uh we'll be right back wow that's delicious rice huh I mean um uh uh rice basmati you're forget it Mike you're never gonna be extreme yeah you're never gonna have been there where I've done that whoa oh wow I might just disappear hey hey hey you know that's that's pretty yes really extreme yeah completely dissipating all matter cool yeah Mike yeah hello Oh can anyone tell me where my uncle J Nelson yes Michael J Nelson you are charged with crimes against man and nature so that failure to yield finally went to bench warrant I know but now that we know about that we'll add that to the charges oh I'll just be quiet then our good idea Michael Jay Nelson you are charged with the wanton and cruel destruction of many planets that will come on I mean it see of the intergalactic tribunal bound by me the space no time find your atrocity typical of human time oh so it's one of those deals where I'm on trial for all of humanity and their faith depends upon my guilt or in a subway memory one else you're the guilty one don't try to drag everyone else down with you all thought it was one of the I will act as your impartial judge though you disgust me beyond measure and you will be a 40 the privilege of choosing your own defense attorney your choices are Socrates Charlemagne the great Clarence Darrow or Professor Bobo's a gorilla Bobo how's he done well though it is then yes Mike yes good let's say you got anything to eat and for your prosecutor there's someone merciful how about st. Teresa of lee soo-ah sorry st. Therese is on a racketeering case for the Bronx da right now your choice is our King Solomon Endicott of Bingen Mercer Thomas Jefferson could go either pear and Forester oh yeah I'm gonna choose pearl Forrester austerity is then super prosecute oh I don't learn very quick do I hi Mike boy I sure hope you don't take this personally that I'm gonna get him to fry and stuff but I have been called to serve justice and that's bigger than all of us except maybe Bobo here besides I already have my book deal and let the trial begin yeah I'm rule 40 media recess so I can buy you a real expensive lunch and I can watch a crappy watch sounds delightful Nelson you are remanded to the custody of those annoying robots on your satellite to watch a cinematic abomination from the sixties cold agent for harm way dead oh whoa mice gonna hang hey that's pretty extreme yeah with a street where's the jailbird thank you okay well I'm on trial and stuff poor guy sad really well I have abandonment issues with this movie already ah the traditional running of the clue sews Inspector Gadget in Marathon Man damn kids stop playing in my sewer that's the Eastern Europe part of Southern California hmm halten zere hold me hold me in its final days budget cuts reduce the Soviet Army to one soldier my David Lynch errno so close stupid Hemant I can't see a thing ha I'll throw my cologne at him tonight on michael collins p i ah it was worth killing to find the perfect picnic spot bozo I surrender I love Mickey rock Conrad thank you we could dress you you and your assistant are not in the West Zone yet dr. Stefanik but almost thanks to you my friend you should be more careful in your choice of friends they paid me well you are not to see the three worlds Stefanik a traitorous Frenchman who would have thought so you're breaking up with me then that's my hair damn you shel silverstein I am mighty elderly man the death of Pete fountain does he have to dice played all over that other guy I get the dead headband I need some gala one to feed upon don't let your deal go down hopefully the man under me is Jerry Lewis his mud pack is running Barnaby Jones oh that stand for huge angular red marshmallow parachute astronauts wear bio Massachusetts heuristic analog rental meets a special in one way he's a special needs guest star Carl's got a cute shape sorry husbands and never wasn't with Bob Marley and Prince mark really worked a snegoff first movie enjoy our pointy credits title by te Cummings and Katy lay these people did not earn triangles but they can try again next year tired of embarrassing snag use snegoff oh what college is this banner for hey italy's right on the bus line a little little to the left I don't think I'm totally in the shot oh I would be in beat up by the music bird you're Oswald it's gonna be a tough one good boy hey I miss the triangles are ready to transportation your friend the issues station wagons to all our secret agents Red River is really crested this is my dad he didn't know I was filming him and stuff Xanadu stately home of Charles Foster Manson I didn't know Section eight built beach homes mr. peepers p.i hello I'm here to set up the a/v projectors he's there for his Howard Sprague fan club meeting a door-to-door spats salesman it's me Henry give me that hundred you owe me are a breaker darn kneecaps not that tiny sausage gun no panel world he'll crash biggie yeah my cat's cradle got out of control so I pinned it to the wall yeah oh when spy agency and string art gallery all right yes sir his chance chicken you he just called me from the raft sorry I'm you know maybe date with me for the night I might add get it right up yes sir I'm sorry but date honey I'll see you get a rain check it's a Geo she's a great white what was this assistants name please dad drunk soul berry match Shirley's brother isn't he we'll get on it right away solid balsa wood baby that my sweet is how it's done what a dork now you don't have to learn karate but if you want to be one of our contacts in the least you got to expect the other side to use it maybe on you I understand that him so harm stands for hot and ready man that's your boyfriend all right don't rely on charm get your head blown off and quit going around being a woman these are your acupressure points this could've been you and don't you forget it better go back to the judo range Adam the judo ring that's so much to learn you know a good teacher could we continue our lessons later they did my apartment I don't know do you have cats that's a nice suite not for you oops pacemakers going off we'll meet me at the karate rink later Josh hey mr. Graff wants you okay love I'll see you nightmare Ian that's your story you better get into the office I'm on my way is that your big thumb too girlfriend you might want to back up the power of this Honda 60 is pretty overwhelming judo rage then go practice your skeet kendo and bring your Aikido rifle to get into my judo bikini I mean I drink a lot how come I never made the Dewar's profile you left early this morning what was that all about clairvoyance you always see through closed doors this is a security I lose very office over old gym grass ozone I'm about to believe it oh so you get the new map Channel we've learned that Italy is drop-kicking Sicily Tony is covering Naples isn't he he's held back who else have we got in that area grass at all that butter cookies in Salerno he should pad his skull and put the altitude so the agents can adjust baking temperatures we blew a bulb geez Johnny darts thud he's definitely wearing a girdle Jail impact you got a ticket for neighbors mmm how'd you get him there's something else for that I drew this turtle freehand Hey yes sir root grant from Rome's and April's notify Tony and ship him home and send in another wet bar homes are really nice sir is this the same doctor Stefanik the biochemist who defected that's our bird the cousin off of our research dried when he came over monitor him say my aviary garment he's in California now place called see you here San Diego go outside Boston what's his problem Madison is assistant nonsense there's a certain sense if out his body outside of Stefanik slab about an hour ago was it murder your on-the-spot diagnosis was heart attack but we can't be too careful with Stefani's Iron Curtain past the apartment has ordered a post-motor for tonight I want you there you know I have claw dancing tonight mom I found a really big feather the Target Center the early days it's a nice resort but they need more activities and they paint the outside screw you outside my POI I'm sorry Green Acres was cancelled sometimes I forget I've seen so much harder there's little that can shock me then I put my tongue in the outlet that did the trick but with you it's different half woman half baby it's you so hard to believe Amy it was a fine man and a good assistant and a fine comic strip with Henry gone could not help you I know something of Biochemistry we could work together it's got fiber optic hair no my tests are almost completed I can finish up alone well I better check on my pots tilled hooch PBR me ASAP I'm too tuned up I'll have to go under my tongue with this one I'll go see hmm hmm get away I still cannot face the secret yeah just give me my flight Tao thank you metal simian I'm not listening you have to provide me with a few more answers yeah well I'm still in therapy over that wire mom you're if I can get my face painted here like canopy yes sir Woodhouse Wow would you like to dance yes I would very much like to dance very much a Oleta yes what is it you would like like the drooling old guy out of my tent I don't know who you are or what you're selling but I'm not buying madam I'm Adam I have in this little suitcase a 300 volume set of the most fantastic books you ever laid eyes on shut all in that suitcase yes where you see there miniatures condensed versions I also have an assorted collection of mops and brushes and flow beads I say you're definitely not the Malcolm brush type hmm nor the intellect shorter no yeah well since you're not in the market for books mopsa brushes um may I see the man of the house doctor Stefanik right I knocked but nobody answered Gugu oh then you really came to see my uncle not me mr. a chance Adam chance I made a vista how do you do never vladov s22 unencumbered and if I'd known you were coming I would have been more presentable if Washington had known you were here they'd never sent your holiness Washington yes I'm business unfortunately but then again our business may not take tomorrow what then you can go in that case I better take you to my uncle right away well that's about enough innuendo for now hey by the way we aren't gonna be sexual partners right I'm impotent sorry if I interrupted your lesson oh that's alright I'm afraid I'm a hopeless case I'll never lose my accent well I hope you all need to go so like I like it TGI Fridays on the beach hey Vidale not like curling today oh they were much better earlier Billy this is Adam chat hello Billy young Charles Grodin a Hodad tractor fighting for your life Mike yeah chosen that are you going back to my trial yep yes sir mike is as good as I'd when he gets this little Linzer tart of mine well I think it might be just a little obvious curl what with the power saw kind of poking out on both ends oh come on touch more almond pace on the motor housing you know look like grandma made it let's go guys they've started opening statements hey nice pork oh please mr. Nelson you mustn't kill us we're an innocent planet oh yeah we'll tough nipples planet well there you have it when he is convicted I will ask that the wretched accused be eaten by fire ants thank you for your time professor Bobo for the defense yeah thank you judge well no a lot of folks round these parts have been throwing the words will destroy her around like a bone for old blue ha ha ha Charlie I blow yourself up a planet does that make you a world destroyer he yeah my mama she burnt a brown Betty one time that make her a whirl destroyer I reckon not because folks maybe maybe brown Betty plays a much bigger role in this whole thing than we realize Oh bubbling full of fruit little cinnamon nutmeg Leon could you can you shut up boy I'm defending you here now folks we're gonna hear the word panties use a lot in this trial so let's get them giggles out right now panties panties panties panties panties panties pecs panties helping my cave son not judge folks ah I'm not gonna stand here and pretend my clients innocent yeah he's guilty he blew up them planets needed to please haha well just look at this face of his look at them veins coming out of his neck there and beady little sunken eyes why it turns my stomach just a glance askance at the putrid leech on the universe yes really kind of puts me right off my lunch lunch lunch John Snickers you got a steam table shut up in here get some potatoes something chickeny would you please get away from me River oh wow what I need to say of course isn't in summary I would like to recall the words of that great and honorable statesman Abraham Lincoln and that about wraps it up thank you won't you your witness now with this husband Karl whatever this sure got a meet right out of my hand hey please would you would call an exchange student I taught him in French and exchange it teaches me how to surf he uses our Beach where the others are crowded I didn't know surfing would involve so much nudity oh guy there's another old guy to see you oh yeah just a moment I'm talking to my snake I need more speed man come here I will not speak until I'm all the way in I'm sorry to kick your way P that's alright I rather enjoyed it I'm Adam chance glad to meet you can I offer you a lab rat or I take it you're at make monies yes yes we have medical yet he has already Lear that's me yeah you're kinda in the way of the door there yeah there we go mr. Groff call mr. Steffi Graf although I don't know why harm should be interested in my assistant state um are you an agent only what I have to be sometimes I sell Mary Kay dr. arrow we have an appointment to keep oh yes unfortunately yes will you stay for dinner well thank you I'd like that that is if it's no trouble good then I'll see you tonight my knees is hot don't you think the narrow beaker of condensed milk hey lonely girl you're nice yes you have a family of five I hadn't seen her since she was a little girl it is surprising how close we have become since we detected actually it's illegal we receive you request immediate meeting with Barbie one can look at her Gidget fading now I'm going to play my new cow seems out secret compact this is not all that compact just stalls us in my hair you know she hurt herself bad when she mixed up her lady Schick with her lady West by this time in a James Bond movie there have been 10 helicopter explosions 8 ski chases spy movies just kind of hanging around a house my bedspread turns into an airplane of my panties on an anti-personnel device just think my way above that camera shot she might be partially nude this chance doctor Stefanik may I present mr. Henry Madsen then at that data that data that he I'll prepare the autopsy room my apologies for my art performance why is he not to the Gulag see just cut here staple this to this big little up here he made his own gravy oh I just realized how hungry I am what is your deal your dad's alcoholic golf buddy as agent for huh have you been doing research in bacterial sporulation you've studied spore for kalalalalalalalalalappa heart once because I trusted someone I almost did not get to America I cannot take the risk again and so I must torture monkeys I have a job to do here film developing alone I can't answer your questions now you come over there either in a moment hold on almost there okay I'm not leaving till I get the answers do I make myself clear let me review you're going to leave right now because you can't get the answers yes give me to say quite clear I'll go get the cop you're no longer welcome in my house please go but I made myself clear that I wouldn't leave and stuff apparently I haven't made myself clear enough therefore I will now it's found on the basic premise at length you think you can't get hurt doctor because this is America apple pie and all that jazz and hula hoops and dungarees my job is to keep the apple pie on the table and nobody asks me how I do it I'll just need an hour to figure out your metaphor doctor you realize I could have you sent back I still have the receipt you forget I'll take my niece with me once you taste my Schnitzer I'm sure you will understand I have to make a salad for the detected scientist dinner tonight I just remembered but keep talking up would you like a drink so we're okay then yes I would thank you mmm good short almost no lose the window karma live do you mind doctor I had an early start this morning go right ahead well then I'll need to take a sponge bath then apply my AB you saw now now he's gonna shave me next I think you we like it it is Serge very good redolent of SpiderMonkey urine hmm here's your answer yep your answer would be coming in just a moment down coming soon dancer yep dad dad well well maybe not sorry it's my scoopable kitty litter clump collection fragments of a meteorite which fell behind the iron curtain two years ago don't touch them they contain a form of of Spore no you are possibly formed when they need to right enter the Earth's atmosphere the fragments were given to the biological warfare commissary art from Red Baron milk oh i see harm is well informed look beautiful thing to say but you haven't heard of Marcos project Spore this poor penetrates the flesh then devours the body from within turning it into a human fungus like Larry King what does malko intend to do bomb us with the spore bomb no my lady shots Marcos the shuttle for that he knows you will pick a target fear of your wedgies Adam Hodges did you see this Mad Magazine and thick monka plans to dust your crops with mrs. - your people are knowingly will eat those the pies of yours they set my parking brakes hmm show you something it's under my uniform excuse me so many I brought with me a spork um like the one that killed Henry Manson it's a Spore done not just a phallic why didn't you tell us as soon as you came to this country I was trying to find an antidote did you I think so but it has not been fully tested so have you ever been with an ugly guy sure there's no Jim Beam in here oh and happy Secretary's day every agent from harm has to know how to field-strip a razor I mean upon me for booze hey Dad dan I passed the bar remember I'm not too short you're too tall I'm making yell fudge voted best-dressed LabTech don't have to be rich is my spore garden throwing we've decreased the ultraviolent 2700 angstrom units the spore should mature and half the tide so long as the culture is not altered or damaged and you see be yourself while the theater popcorn careful Harry Caray's glasses quite active we really need a giant roomy I a lot about dehydration the potency should remain at the same level three micrograms per square meter will be lethal our schedule is cut in half - mint saw it just seven reports Harmison - man yeah Adam chance he is with its deafening know-how but our instruction sailors before the only thing that has changed is my timetable have you seen my raspberry beret we're on Marco I don't trust the girl I would like to take care of the line from the heart I would die for him take care of him the girl has our instructions how's the fish boil drop the little tiny screw any Eric you find it now it will shoot little potato pellets thing I took the Sally Struthers gun repair course so Mr middle cabinet we meet again our ponch this time I'm really gonna see the Great Pumpkin hey is the Family Circus shapely grandma cindy-lou who grew up nice I saw the flashlight I know you'd be here did you bus you were crashing around like a drunk elephant you think I have exclusive rights to the use of a flashlight they would have used infrared glasses yeah they would wouldn't they wouldn't they you forget where I come from we know of these things besides my uncle told me tonight of Marcos plans and you should know enough to get out of here while you can before you fall into my sex drive look angel your uncle has to stay he's my bait he's a minnow but it isn't necessary for you can I have my breasts back Adam can't we forget about it just for tonight that if ride out in the way just you me and a moonlight swim oh he's wearing little patties you know women can multitask while they're making love and all that she's thinking of England France the entire European community the Middle East what is this kiss you know you're tempting me Angela but you're not fooling me what do you mean you're a guy you wouldn't have the nerve just willing a dark disturbing even whiskers here wouldn't I follow my Carrie romper are you coming or do I swim alone yes and yes danger face that is not the way cases are song I swim alone there's some trunks in your room in case you change your mind drunks in my room how'd they get in there little farmer Hank here recorder music for young lovers good night little spore gun you lucky trunks get ready to gift-wrap a beautiful package who could be answering the phone Wow whoa how are you alone Stephanie who is this have you forgotten so soon it's about my eyebags isn't it I forgot nothing multiple then you know that I'm serious busy busy busy visiting Paris charge hello wake up do you know he's there is he with you now I'm surprised you don't know that - what do you want you're part of your lair for the antidote no thank you and yourself oh just getting off on this Oh Ezard it Manson's got your person you know how sincere I am what do you want me to do we are come to you tomorrow at noon you and the girl will not be there you will leave a suit in the living room in the left pocket will be the found you left the farm Bureau you understand what about shots I want him in the house tell him nothing about our talk did you come on over here and let me work on that zipper you really think he'll give you the antidote of course not but he will tear chance that we are coming I think a lot of dance Oh chance has a job to do he cannot do it unless he finds it you and ender back to the song heads and blues jazz instead hey that's me he meant evaluating god theses the culture honor I'd like to present your honor with these video depositions by a video your honor at go ahead okay I think you'll like them they're just darling ladies and gentlemen welcome to Tom servos video deposition with special guest stars Tom Skerritt Bell Biv DeVoe and the leggy tar nicholas ii ha ha ha ha thank you oh please enough you're too kind thank you thank you so much how you doing thank you oh wow thank you very much thank you thank you thank you wow what a night huh this is the night the stars have come out for a very special Mike Nelson deposition I'd like to bring out our first special guest deposition er a brilliant and inspiring military leader and a good friend general Oliver Cromwell but first let me introduce funny man ir Angelo right after this word from our sponsor ha ha thank you oh please thank you no come on you're too kind oh yeah I'm sick you're next to a free man oh wow here we go nothing on ok hi I'm crow T robot and I'm here to tell you that Mike Nelson is innocent Mike Nelson is 200 percent not guilty and if you don't find him innocent then you can just kiss my fat in and that goes for your full court system too Mike I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for this big league bogus trial man but let me tell you something Nelson if I was there I kick everyone's fat stupid behind and then cram it up there anyway Mike buddy I hope that helps take care of Mike oh hi I'm gypsy and Mike Nelson totally didn't do it objection your honor hearsay over oh yeah the court release has to allow the defendant to view movie segments and will reconvene there after lordy lordy that ship see she is wonderful yes and perfidious gal huh Matt looks like you're going down some do you like pancakes hey porcupine get up here come on Underpants oh you took it down there striping into the theater zebra movie sign let's go on that well we're dope boots helming the house I hate being grounded no it's 1122 women loved his beige sport car sonam's car turns into a plane no downtime just drive ah now a rocket power did the skier will come down today hey don't hurt wrist and exotic locations but uh but uh and you get half off clams if you buy it before 9 a.m. just need to run in and get my check that I don't maybe there's an elevator to an exotic secret location job this will just stop you should have taken the little red car back baby you got to slow down man I can't believe it carted me I gotta go all the way back home that I've done actual film from the highway department I'm an agent I'm an agent from our agent from home I'm an agent from our mom and agent family well drop tear off of the tiki hut now I gotta go change get to my shift at the Comfort Inn I just can't go to the bathroom in a public place watch me open the hell out of this door it's Walt Disney and he's mad hmm the booger gum doctor dug it up it's me Adam I know take the knockwurst out of your ears and wake up I almost killed you yes you almost did let me come over there and then we will resume our conversation okay now when you stop trying to do this alone I need your cooperation Marcos cohorts will be here in ten minutes so please take your shower you're new yes I left Ava the sea urchin I don't know how long she'll wait for me you'd better get it before she calls a cab I want both of you away from here so I can get some cleaning done zactly what micro bums you here alone I'm aware of that I'll handle it I've got my cardigan you better hold on to this in case you need it you can bring your monkey if you want all right excuse me done hey the car keys gee pop you'll smell joining his niece for lunch dah dah dah dah white things get your white things okay come on movie just bite me I gotta swing by the leather panty plates the shy cameraman come on get closer it's fine on the way home I want to pick up some cream honey this is it this is the house I want resist I just got to peek in the living room I wonder if that water heater makes the water warm enough reason now my pants are too tight oh yes I will never have children I know he's got Altoids in here I'm gonna do it I'm gonna press his pants for free Betty shirts mom so they pickled all this wood I wonder if they did that neon the room if Pepe LePew was a human he'd be this good they don't just pick up dry cleaning they deliver but uh but if only picking up dry cleaning was obvious disease just like my uncle said he sent a chance out here oh man just another Manic Monday oceans to let's eat up dinner at a fancy restaurant I'm put your hand off my knee Thanks trust your dry-cleaning - dry cleaners peek-a-boo I'll Drive slowly keep your eyes open and pay attention follow us I'd like to spend the night inside your sugar wall that's enough Prince excuse me I I just realized I can hand wash one of my blouses it's bulls ear day kids under 10 get a bullier NAFTA's really working that's the last Taco John's we'll see for a while all right what what we're looking at what what Oh Dada Dada they're driving action pants my pants are up to the challenge should we bring this guy some water cuz he might shoot a guy on the Mexican border and these Mexican banditos are bad gentlemen let's do some dry cleaning he wasn't at the house he didn't follow us and he's not as smart as I thought I'm here on yeah dad what say we make a shake her remarks Nene's they take the truck away get rid of it Marvel Chum the border guards may have gotten a report in this durian truck Ingrid has done old foot better be careful running with a gun wouldn't want to put a LED pill in the family jewel No wish I could have taken the Alfa TTFN oh ma Marie harsh and bother oh I sent live a man hops there's a man give me the squish squash the old vintage pee-wee's grandfather Winchester wee Herman now the mountain would have to go to my Wendy and Lisa coming over later is that okay I just have to it's a little bit of era think I'd be a better driver Oh try-try while I do like grizzly bear impression damn that puts a crease in the Old West guy doesn't it he's actually doing something here I think it'll be Wednesday before I can get the suit back no maybe Thursday it might be one of my associates who calls you because my body was just scissored in half say the old topknot seems to be in flames old trench Oh there's bone marrow on the turtleneck so there'll be no charge how does jello one-and-two must go one step more oh is it Billy can i play with your monkey hey Doc can I use your Beach want to build some condos oh yes of course he was there I wonder if you would do me a favor there's a man who is being most annoying to Ava if you see any strangers on the beach would you call me I'll take care of it doc I know how it is some creeps don't care if it chick digs in or not I'll keep the old eyeballs peeled I would appreciate it sure thing doc oh by the way mr. chance told me to tell you that he's in his room I picked him up in town and brought him on out we're stuck see you later doc of course I think a plot point just spilled all over us there well tend to lock the door and go Cowabunga Billy now hold on yes sir we have the cardigan and ochre hey you want soup I feel like soup tonight Adam I just found out I'm chairman happened I'll tell you later where's Ava Becca peach Mickey Mouse and he's got the biggest feet in town Adam what's up case is a AZ Jim I've got their bass right up the border in Mexico ready for the tag not yet I've got that face now I've got to find the airport they plan to use what's best help out at the moment I don't want malgo alerted till I'm ready let's make just in case calle del Campo my darling two miles south of the border station left off the main drag four miles in the Hills a pink stucco alone I'm sketching Moreschi in seven Oh Adam I'm drunk I want a full solid or check when you go in I didn't know you can't Jim arm dies I'll uh see you later so secret call doctor this is a harm transistor comm it's very powerful I want you to wear it now on I'll be wearing it's twin sister how does it work three positioned dial transmitting receiving and pong I'm Sol are tracing beam the others fail it clips on to your ear how's the antidote coming I was stopping your final taste good you better get on it before company comes are you sure there will be back but your nose they'll be back doctor I'll turn on the set of soon as you're in the lab don't touch any doors and windows why they're charged must I wager my nose that they'll be back man with a sexy knees don't wanna do as your spy tells you come on statue of John Daly up there oh yeah I think it's a great pads yep he maintains and appliance da-da-dun are you feeling today hell grandmas brownie recipe just isn't working well I'm plenty fertile I'll play for you out alive didn't get a word that early VCRs were not easy to program he's pirating free TV I work out of my apartment and make big Deutsche marks at home and after you found the human hosts like Hillary here's iron your bud and now from five feet away you know she's rather fletching she makes me quiver she sucks Rose everybody sucks compared to me though as you give her a break it's nice grouping she's guys not that hard but then I'll go practice my hammer throw their stud here besides me agent from panel craft you're very good I was watching uh uh I'm sorry I had to leave you at lunch angel where have you been aphid waiting for you well I ran into a couple of old friends I just got carried away sorry better not let that happen again do it baby woman do it I won't not like I said your your aim is too good it better be the International archery competition is next month in Vienna and I'm a contestant I'm seated a million really hmm hey I have a condition where I need sex every hour you do something for me you catch a two party check will you pack a bag and just punch out of here I don't like fight gee why did I say five steps must have forgotten my primal sexual attractiveness in your face now you listen to me things are gonna start getting very dangerous around here we know it would be equal now you must be afraid of something mittens superior licking you okay in there Henry need something to read ah five hours of staring at the window finally pays off you take Stefanik will take chat then we take Berlin I want my bottle with my blankie and my milky just after his social security checks just human relations door I found the door Jan or Dean what was that you're barbecuing a pigeon Asian oh no let's go will you shut up already damn got a dance got it oh great so he's really a serial killer sanctioned by the government yet got you alright is that the ghost of a cow hi don't touch the door good that girl in the world by the tension hook oh they have mail going it well my prostate seems okay now for a giant olive oil Pilsner Zenith corporation recommends you do not why are your television to metal doors thank you day three of my cardigan my funk overwhelmed just a typical day for Prince nothing took just a little disagreement it's lemon chiffon bath time baby Oh morning more oh sorry I just get so carsick but all you didn't you're right of Hawaii Thanks and they hit a nice oh now what no that's just my hair grease honey that was already luckily hit the water yeah of course whatever yeah I'll be all right Mike do your kevorkians number I've got on my speed our reservations for 3d with ya include me your prey I love to switch hey beau maybe you stay here rest a minute you'll be all right we have to feel I saw that well tuck it back they touched her boob you guys I'm not a virgin anymore who filmed on-location near a power switching station in Oklahoma okay let's see electrocute a guy check touch a breast check so far so good hold up hold up oh my this is the Roma man whose niece's boob I just brushed heroin and fudge what could it mean I don't like shots there Ali I wish I had the slightest idea of what the hell I was doing hi does this suit make me look fat I was going to get the pink one but I got this instead occasion Scot says this is the only location now take it easy angel buy cardigans here it's pretty burned up with me before he got here come on you're trembling let's have a picnic on the judo ranch we had find your uncle Oh vodka vacuum big house gym gin where they've taken Stefanik oh we got Mexico it Johnny Martinez two on a border station get him now tell him to meet me at Calle del Campo one mile west of Marcos base there's a motel there again there are times when I like this movie watch as she looks I'm leaving now you want a pulse ammeter check you bet I do who doesn't want to pull scimitar jack huge here we go hang on my watch wants to talk to you oh look he's got a wrist harmonica in case he runs into John popper we just opened another Kentucky Fried Chicken in San Diego you got it what's our response positive look at him Thanks see you around Jim 100-hour what is this a going-away present you no way it's the least I can do my uncle gave it to me for protection my uncle's Ted Nugent thank you that's very sweet that could be any one of the other two characters who are you but headquarter sent me want you to go somewhere sucrets I'm sorry would you give here some protection till I get back sure sure I will maybe the keys in your car yes you don't mind if I take a deal do you know how to drive an automatic man you're so lucky I could never wear one of them do you mind if I go to my room no that's all right I'll be out here in case you need me do you need me now by any chance how about now now I sure hope I don't park in any tequila bottles okay draw up the ribcage stick out the button let the girdle do its work watch it is gimlets anything hey Marcus what are you smiling about well the dead erect side makes my face melt yeah it was a pretty mediocre agent no big deal referees at Penn oh it's on the table locking every car on the lot garage doors are opening and closing pacemakers going on gee thanks Martinez you've been a big help I may as well get a Reno while I'm around walks directly to his right front tire perhaps much like Linus I can wrap my car to get around the tire yes I can ride that house across the border like everyone else in town off playing volleyball or let's get to that we warmed up now yes we'll follow you in the observer plane can I get a hand I ever ernia we're never gonna get it up this way me agent from harm let the good times roll Bell drove to Mexico got a flat headed back oh no pretty successful mission now they're out of fumar now what do we do you seem to be expecting someone chance perhaps it's possible you're correct your niece informed us that he's looking for us Miley's ratted on me you are lying he's calling all the crickets to come help him you only lie to break my resistance but you will never get the antidote for me Lucas Nathan Lane chance spaz chomp the classic madeyewlook floyd command I believe the lies he wants to believe come back crow crow come quickly I found a legal precedent that I think might help Mike's case yeah yeah what is it what is it it's ah wait the only work of Mike is a noisy goose within the city limits of desplaines Illinois yeah but you please they just weren't in The Observer um state your name oh I have no name I am simply a fractal of a larger thought collector part of an omniscient neural net if you will two lesser beings we reveal ourselves as observers all right then brain guy why don't you describe the events on the day your planet was turned to thee oh yes yes yes well it was a lovely day a rush gave voice to some dreamy half remember to and I tripped through a fragrant cops whistling him down to a deer part so sorry I I was taking one of my famous fresh baked pies to the senior observer center when suddenly out of the sky wrote seven horrible steeds smoke and fire belching from their dog Oh to wobble fire belching from where hello muscles yeah and a striper Broudy grim-visaged man laughing ah ah ah and raining death above us um of course oh is that grim-visaged man here today take your time yes he is yes he is it's him right there that's him there a good show that the egg had identified the grim-visaged death Rainer as Michael Jay Nelson no further questions oh well well well now now now that planet that planet of yours surely did sound beautiful sir yes yes it was you know I can almost hear that thrush is singing maybe a sick cater to sounding a sort of lonesome tune over the treetops that's entirely possible I suppose after y'all have a summer festival on that planet sir yes we have majula days there were Street sales and brain tossing children playing children relaying in the streets why I can almost hear their sweet voices ah quite nice my my my well I won't keep you sir you may step down thank you very much well now there is just one more thing sir just a small small thing then doctor what kind of pie was it that you brought to those lovely old folks but what was Apple I believe Oh Apple you know that was my Pappy's favorite mmm where's he going with this hey and what kind of apples did you use in that pie uh I've rode red Red Delicious I believe Red Delicious don't those uh get kind of mushy I like that yeah some folk do some fall too now then uh corn starch for a thickener I reckon oh yeah yes well Rose it's not tapioca not arrowroot no now corn starch I know enjoy it yes there's a butter for the crust all laugh nod nod was my sister woman's favorite no indeed now I suppose you just used a little warm tap water to work that loud into the flower of course how else did you okay yes yes and how did that crust turn out so well it was flaky and delicious listen what are you implying I am insinuating sir that this man is a fraud and a liar he has never made a pie crust in his life like uh my pie is famous I have made hundreds sir I have eaten every pie this vast universe has to offer I have eaten black bottom shoo flies coasters minces in the rain I have UT tan and black chestnut cool and fruit cream pies crumble and lettuce nothing man I ain't never heard I using no warm water for no crust yeah I lying all right I lying sir my dear Honor I move for an immediate dismissal whoo god I think we are to look into our little Baker hair as a possible suspect now get this scum off my scale are you for the courtroom is out of order the machine you hurt my pomade one of those things to spaz chop you so bad what you might inspector welcome at the gate chance is on his way the clever doctor Stefanik have you forgotten how much a destroyed secret Jesus air Truman Capote now please I'm just upon I seem to fade Worf step down hmm well it passes down button cardigan and away its mission impossible language everything's got to be just so for the agent from harm so picky so taboo you're wearing boots have pointlessly pointed toes they're positively helfen meds well curl him up a bit bells on the ends he has to plug in his gun Jon Schull prepares for war it might be easier just to shoot the guy the cop is said okay I dig okay oh come on they have our table look at that arm I guess he mouthed off to my day Mobe Dobie Dobie Dobie Tomi knob I'll see what piyo thinks I should do my ponch to scan the area for tequila bottles but simple lighter at the rig Jerome Robbins P I they want my cardigan new I never should have left that one location so if I duck out of the way the guns will kill each other this belongs to you mister gun so if he begins jumping rope he might set it off after 20 minutes or so got there now we'll be killed from a slightly different angle you won't spare chop Adam value yay it's leather Tuscadero get back no way me local stop do menial my love has come for me care to place any bets comrade the odds are three to one against him fatal - I'm still here - one all my hamster was in that pocket and freezing sir I told you you've been bumped from this flight still that's better than any given Northwest flight Oh get me what are the odds oh all right shut up or I'll shoot you in the other pocket it's like being chased by your anthropology professor well back at it wait you forgot your bullets well guess I should've known on your right stop or your propeller will grind me to hamburger stopper all agent from harm you gingivitis oh no he's headed straight for the turkey barn my ps2 we're collection back into my hollow tree logical response to this movie is pure unbridled hate do you have any bactine you still have another pocket you're just differently pocketed got a last one are you bad sorry surrender I'll shoot the garbage can empty my life was empty before I met you a present come Ava whoa Andy Ava he God or just list to unser panicky villain Adam we care for those bags contain spa Thank You bad boy sir well I think he's out of caps tires and and popcorn are always sell but he doesn't know is I'm nude under this court and that's my last offense testing is this thing on Oh batch from harm he's wearing panty smoothers not so Super Soaker that's a dead body look at that face you probably want to clean it after the pipe cleaner I'm not here oh if your choice of weapons is for guns as I'd be happy to oblige you what do you do with empty guns I confess service that advantage spawn bullets try to be more accurate the next time okay good luck I'll stand still it's a powerful bird Sam I needed here kind of dying yeah open some boxes villain here he's gonna do some good got that suited Orville Redenbacher warehouse I hear you have been dying to meet me that arms me gentlemen I employ you know Kumar and the agent hangs back is he injured elderly scientist does everything watch out the Bisquick egg of instants poor white Alice the dredging him in flour and they're gonna pan-fry him and I can play data killed by gluten intolerance don't touch me I want to remember you like this knife it spawn that my friend was one hell of a way to test your antidote in your head I took the antidote yes I combined by my experiment if you defense attacked you in the scene I don't I don't know it please either laughs come on it's not called old scientist who sort of helped agent from harm okay depending Bobby man doctor tonic stop that near me let's discuss John cut it out I will see that you get to a hospital and I look at every one of your notes from the laboratory good luck with everything do you have a number for ambulance at least give me a dime or not he was down well it's like a morgue in there yeah Jim are you doing here when Martinez pulse stopped oh I'm here too what's the fun in here we had him flown up here for the autopsy he isn't dead I've got all his research notes moving he's not dead he's been dead for hours he's alive yet taken the antidote he's in a prolonged state of suspended animation santa came down from heaven and made him better I'll just stay out here and do my junior job okay oh never mind okay look just cuz he's a pile of goo doesn't mean he's dead it's gone I mean he's there he's dead spores taking over there's no stopping and no antidote it useless like you I don't know maybe they shouldn't have flown them in maybe the plane temperature air pressure counteracted the antidote maybe you botched the case Adam there's no antidote I'll get by a research others come on up better go put on my funeral cardigan all that hard work wiring that TV set I had a combination of the spaz chop in the pocket wound was just too much me old man well better start screwing up a new case dear Medical Examiner put my friend in the best pail money can buy well looks like I'm running out of room best wishes Adam harm chance salon old gu a friend and vegetable dip hmm what should I almost wear today she's packing her archery or how did she get out of her playpen here's the windup and there's the smarm major will you make a lousy housewife I told you I wasn't the mop and broom type Ollivander level five smuggle earth Adam so many things have changed I'm going to Vienna to the archery competition I'll be a little bit early but I've just got to get away I know I feel the same way I knew you'd understand so my uncle died huh see snappy some snappy come on up boy you've got a lot of hangers huh no I miss you very much Adam I really will and it'll help me to miss you if you leave so will you miss me as much as you miss your uncle merit well I huh Oh what do you mean parrot Tesla a sweet little girl found a nice trusting man into believing she was a nice he hadn't seen for 20 years no I don't sweet darling merit Tesla should I take my white blouse and gave me a warm smile and an empty gun and some onions and some string there told them every move I made no Adam that isn't true yes angel face according to the archery officials there is no Ava vest up registered but there is a merit Tesla died fit your lovely description perfectly all right but I only did it for the Vienna competition I was afraid they'd find me and used me to force my uncle to reveal his antidote but the rest is me so the only thing you did in this movie was called the Vienna archery Association I did prove it to you but you all what he did you and you answer to the name you were going with no come on angels face flushed look we both know don't you know this movie can be used to induce vomiting oh there's a police car waiting oh wait I forgot my Lancome special gift free with purchase ding who do you made a mistake the air was supposed to go in his face he wouldn't have won that competition either angel Adam don't let them take her you're a bad girl well I called the liquor cabinet oh I was getting worried about you oh now he's gonna go over and lightly kiss his boss we were just saying goodbye don't we have him that's right we were just saying goodbye with our reproductive organs first rule of women everywhere first do no harm you look on what charge accessory to the murder of Henry Manson accessory to the murder of Martinez and Mexico and the attempted murder of Adam chance and failure to give me some uh damn I'm sorry angel I'm dedicated you know lieutenant you'll have no worries with me man I'm officer eunuch I borrow your liver for the weekend how long have you known my cardigan alerted me some time ago you don't deserve an answer I found this our hotline to Marco I didn't tell the audience cuz I didn't think they needed to know just beautiful no hard jam none not even one the machine she's just a machine she's only part of machine I we are drinking machine if I can help it you're right buta case closed and bar open let's go case closed and so many people poured their entire weekend into the making of this movie if you have problems with nasty spores please contact harm immediately rent in the world please visit occasion near you so candlelight vigil huh event mics execution yeah that's the plan yeah nice candle okay you know I'm gonna go vigil over by the cookies okay you know let me know what happens okay gets because I am interested sure sure yeah boo boo so mr. Ortega in the brief time you knew Mike Nelson and you would say he and in spite of your overtures here oh man our tag is killing me up there I got to admit I can't shake his testimony but don't you worry Mike I have one more surprise witness your honor I would like to call to the stand right now a little Amish boy how's he now don't be afraid little Amish boy wellin little Amish boy you are indeed a little Amish boy yeah well to the best of your Amish knowledge did Mike Nelson commit any of the crimes for which he is presently being persecuted nine yeah I called for an immediate dismissal of all phenom I get a crack at the little Amos Spratt so little Amish boy you must be very frightened to be so far from home yeah what could you have been thinking as you left your little Amos home this morning you got up you got dressed you buttoned your button now you set the VCR you logged on to the web for a few minutes you know here in your sport utility vehicle with the CD by nine my mother Joseph drove me and their boogie damn it but he know what I think I think i bought some funds from you a mission one time anyway sugary and tasteless what do you think about that bass no Rose this is outrageous you want to stop this badgering everyone knows that Amish fudges fun without equal region sponge-like relevant with a stark of any sense these islands oh I have reached the verdict where the defendant rise and approach the bench his free buddy we got [ __ ] going buddy I find you give T and I sentence your tour death oh but seeing as you're basically an Amy of a log I commute the sentence to 800 hours community service Oh court adjourned it really really is ah boy yeah well anyway I left a big pile of stuff over here you better get into it I have to work that's right come on yep up a little more there I left a big pool of something over there all right here yeah we'll be back next week there's no talking serve your community come on come on bro let's get to it some people huh you produced in association with the sci-fi channel this Erlin

Channel: analogkid01

Views: 584,488

Keywords: MST3k

Id: 7OvgDsb3KHs

Length: 91min 7sec (5467 seconds)

Published: Sun May 29 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/SplendidPunkinButter]

Ba-da BA-DAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

[u/[deleted]]

Dad, dad! I passed the bar!

[u/AlmostTom]

I love the riffs in this one but I remember it even more for the host segments, with the trial of Mike for the wanton and cruel destruction of many planets. You’re going to hear the word “panties” used a lot in this episode, so get those giggles out now. Panties panties panties panties. Panties.

[u/Dark_sign82]

"That's your boyfriend, okay?!"

Just absolute perfection in a riff.

[u/brendanl79]

!!! HE COPPED A FEEL

[u/sniff_my_gooch]

"Sigh.....By this time in a James Bond movie there would've been 10 helicopter explosions, 8 ski chases...."

[u/LowerAtmosphereChief]

Four hours of staring at the window finally pays off.

[u/teddyboy64]

I hate the outside! Screw you, outside!

[u/faust1138]

I too own an action cardigan.