Mock The Week's Funniest Moments Part 1 | Compilation | Mock The Week

hello i am the messiah and the queen is a biscuit [Applause] we start with a round called picture of the week i show the panel a topical image and ask them to tell me what's happening so what is going on here is it celebrity first dates is this what happens when you uh swipe right on tinder without looking profile i suspect that she is thinking don't call him dobby [Music] the first subject tonight is what a tv chef would never say so that's the bird plucked and stuffed all that remains is to kill it welcome to one fat lady and here what you want to do is put a little bit of the brown mixture in the tin and then sprinkle a little bit of hash on the top of it well these korean meatballs really are the dog's bollocks if you're wondering how to get the perfect skin on your parsnips then you're mental hello i'm delia smith and today we're going to cook a panda am i invisible in this jacket i think [Applause] so i've marinated it for half an hour seared it for 15 seconds and now i'm drizzling it on my buttocks you just need two things to make this dish what you need is a takeaway menu and a phone [Laughter] tonight on russian cookery cyanide polonium and the crab stuffed with explosives it's not going to be worth it now isn't it hello and welcome to working lunch a show for people who are so good at business they're sat at home watching the tv in the middle of the day [Applause] it's science uh scientists have just built the world's biggest ever super collider and they're doing an experiment to find out what makes up protons i hope that if the experiment's successful the whole of our reality will dissolve and a big sign will come up that says level two i always always wondered you know that women that had the face transplant see if she gave you a would that technically count as a threesome what's happening here is david cameron saying i met your mum once is it a poster for the new film babe three city boy in the pig the ashley madison website been hacked again taking two recent stories and slamming them together into our top copy punchline is the um cameras going whatever you do don't open your mouth don't go at any stage right because we are not the ones who made this story happen right as somebody said pulled pork and david cameron's going no we're just good friends oh lovely stuff that is not the answer is it prime minister updates his tinder profile picture is this uh there's a photo of david cameron singing a vowels and rendition of two become one by the spice girls is cameron going no i won't blow your house down provided you just do a little something for me i mean he has caught the pig in front of the house made of bricks to be fair it's the third one [Laughter] okay the answer is about a million what is the question it since i was last on the week how many tweets have i had about love island have you slept with anyone yet have you slept with anyone on the island i slept with anyone on the island yet yeah why not i'm just gonna own it now yeah i'm on love island and i commute to do mock the week are you looking for a dog walking service then call ace kebabs on 318. looking for an undertaker why not call ace kebabs [Applause] the taj mahal indian restaurant formerly ace kebabs leadership looks fun but it's stressful just look at anyone leading a conga on the outside it looks brilliant having a great time all the time just [Laughter] yes you bloody ah in their heads just going i don't know where i'm going i didn't plan a route i never asked for any of this god i miss my family everyone's trapped in the conga sport please okay the category is sport the answer is 264. what is the question is it the number of back-to-school photos of our kids my wife posted up this morning each one more delightful than that i'm just like the second one ain't even that good looking i mean just keep in secret for the good of the family names yeah because you're already trailblazing in that department listen mate that's not putting the poor bastard looks like me jeremy that's what i'm saying should we have another one going if we have a girl the risk i'm not willing to spit i'm not willing to do that girl that looks like an asian roll ferris absolutely not much is it how many dick pics i get sent every time this show goes out to air sorry oh where's my double act partner oh he's he's in here feeling nothing more than feelings yes i have been on the show before i was once trapped in somebody else's underpants going feeling our next round is called between the lines and features hugh and frankie would you please make your way to the press pitch in this round one of them takes on the role of a person in the news address in the media while the other translates what they really mean frankie you are former un secretary general kofi annan making his farewell new year speech as he hands over to his successor hugh you will tell us what he really means welcome to the united nations the world's most respected peacekeeping authority as it comes to the time where i hand over to my successor i must reflect on the fact that we have had many successes we came first in channel 4's 50 most useless organizations i got to meet jimmy carr humbling naturally we have been keeping an eye on things in iraq to see how they are going they seem to be going really badly during my tenure many people have become better off my son has become a millionaire it is ridiculous to say that the u.n is over funded as i said to my helicopter pilot and i sent into the dry cleaners with my cat's waistcoat we now play around called royal commentary we'll play in a recent piece of footage featuring the royal family and ask you to provide a commentary this week the queen entertains a foreign visitor well there she is uh royal madison queen elizabeth ii wearing white gloves is normal people ask us why well it's quite obvious because later this evening she's refereeing the embassy snooker well why are they here well they're here for this the world's largest musical chairs competition 353 chairs 354 contestants the table of course from ikea normally seats 12. as the bloomqvist oh jack sharak is absolutely up for this competition he loves it and so is the queen but she's putting her glasses on she's not letting the cheating french bastard get away with anything the music provided by the grenadier guards with their version of smack my up i apologize well the queen now rising for the reading of the rules the french will go clockwise she says the british will go anti-clockwise very confusing much as it was at verdun in this instance a cameraman look he's falling backwards don't worry the paramedics will soon be here jack fear act now leads reads out the telegrams of apology from those unable to attend saddam hussein would have loved to be here unfortunately he fell through and president desmond tutu and h from steps uh can no longer be with us this is quite boring so much so that the man immediately blows actually he's having to burn his own face [Applause] the plane's about to land in glasgow passengers are reminded to set their watches back 25 years unlikely lines to hear in a tv show on sean the sheep this week shaun has a big surprise when a nasty defra man comes around with a bulk gun [Applause] so get dialing because remember those phone lines close at midnight yesterday and now the antiques roadshow this program contains scenes of tedious dullness right from the start [Applause] and if you have an opinion on this new story why not keep it to yourself hello and welcome to mock the week after dark i'm dar o'brien and this is my penis how has blue peter managed to upset the tories this week have they changed their name to red peter they have not have no no they have not no is uh connie huck it is connie hook yeah does she hate him no yeah i tell you doesn't hate connie hack okay dora she's a good girl hang on don't mess with the hook what does that mean do you fancy her dresses tv kind of thing and i quite like she's getting dissed yeah i'm just saying he loves it look at him squirm [Applause] does your wife watch this yeah but she doesn't watch blue peter so i'm all right sticky back plastic that's not actually just a blue peter term it had no actual gag there [Music] [Applause] whoever from the production company who left the disc for a phillips monitor user's manual on my desk uh for me to see during the show as really handy upload that as the show proceeds into two languages in japanese as well oh it comes with the monitor drivers and the smart control software lovely ching ching does that mean that we've recorded none of this so [Music] who has been running wild with bear grylls recently obama yes yeah that's him a selfie of him why was he there what was he doing he was there on a survival uh survival sort of program for two days but you think he would have been a doddle for obama isn't it i mean he has survived eight years as a black us president does he realize that he's still president because he's just pissing around now two weeks time you're going to hear the phrase dancing for survival christina this this is supposed to be a survival program what technique are they demonstrating here a selfie without a stick and also all the place where you could find a stick you'd think they could make one they fashioned one they fashioned a stick for selfies out of local shrubbery um yes hilariously my monitor just stopped working if only we had the instruction disk [Applause] the cope america is on right and the player got sent off um because the guy who was marking him fingered him in the backside and then when he turned around uh he the guy who'd done the you know the deed with the finger pretended to go down as if he'd been hit he fingered him and then went down yeah you know how is that sounds if anything is overly it was quite proctological there was an element of if you're going to check my prostate at least train for a few years i like how you're making it scientific but we just want to say bum all fingers i don't think i've ever heard anyone say the word bam hold more often than this bob i'm always funny you you finally got a catchphrase something that people can shout at you in the street i almost regret bringing that story off now uh can we move on um i mean you've brought it up dora to me first okay the next story okay you miss maybe before okay okay what became legal across all the united states this week bummer fingers [Applause] let's see let's see what happens if i can lasso a dinosaur i'll see if i can do that here we are swinging i had my head frighteningly close to the penis there that was like a joke to be honest that was like a jurassic brokeback mountain okay dude i see what you're left with to relate i know what it was that was me pausing acting no it wasn't me i wasn't me pausing forgetting uh oh god uh now i have to find it again the okay let's see what topic you've got stuart it what you may be forgetting i don't deserve to be you

Channel: Mock The Week

Views: 69,635

Keywords: mock the week, dara o'briain, comedy, bbc, topical comedy, news, Milton Jones, James Acaster, Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, romesh ranganathan, mock the week Milton jones, mock the week best bits, mock the week scenes wed like to see, mock the week 2022, mock the week full episodes, mock the week compilation, mock the week funniest moments, milton jones mock the week, milton jones one liners, milton jones stand up, frankie boyle mock the week, frankie boyle most offensive

Id: Dn7jC--7_rI

Length: 17min 47sec (1067 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 24 2022