Michelle Obama Opens Up To Jenna Bush Hager About Her New Book - Full Interview | TODAY

so um mrs. Obama I've had time to get to know you over the last two years and I feel so lucky and that but being first lady in some ways not everybody gets ya to know you and and others tell your story how empowering is it to tell your own it's very empowering because you spend this time because everyone is writing books they want to write books they want to get inside of you and we were very I was very conscious of saving my story for me to tell you know because it's not often that women let alone women of color get to tell their own story in a way that's gonna be read by millions so even from the beginning I felt I I knew I would come to a place where I wouldn't need to unravel all of this and I didn't want somebody else who didn't know me but read things about me to do that because it's my voice you know so it's important for me to shape my own voice and put it out there in a way that matters to me so this book is important for me in that way it's been my therapy it has been so much like therapy you know it's so necessary I mean the first parts of the book becoming me becoming us you know that stuff I it sort of worked out right because as you're as I was growing as a professional trying to figure out why I wanted to leave law and go into public service who I was marrying this man who had political ambitions I had but think through who I was and what I wanted to be before I got swept up in his tornado of whatever right but the last eight years or the last ten years I really there as you know there's no time to reflect when you're in that whirlwind you were doing everyday and when you have kids the the moments that you're not being first lady you're being mom full-on you know when the kids are little so I realized that I didn't have a moment to sit back and think what just happened to me and how did that how does that feel and what is that what does that do to my life journey and how do I reassess or add all those experiences into the the others that I came into this with and how you know how did it feel I know from some other first lady's but the role is is complicated in ways there's no guidebook that's right there's no pay you know that you're working right like crazy for something you believe in but it's a complicated role yeah how did you find it you know I your mom was helpful to me I did look at other first ladies in what they did I tried not to read too much about what they were doing because I knew that I had to shape this role for myself but I watched you know I write about you know the first time I met your mom when I was a Senate spouse and I watched her at one of the Senate spousal luncheons that first lady's do that I now know everything about but I had attended and she sat and she took pictures so elegantly with like a hundred people and I thought to myself because I was at the end I was like there is no way I can do this and you did and I did and I did so I had wonderful role models in the first lady's to to come but you're absolutely right but I think the beauty of the job is that it's undefined you know because the commander-in-chief is dealing with crisis after crisis I mean they don't have the room to you know sort of think and plan and act a lot of times what they're doing is reactive but as first lady you have the you know you you have the flexibility to choose the things that you care about that you find that give you passion and and strength and I think that luxury needs to be there to counterbalance what the president has to go through so I learned to sort of live in that world of defining the undefined and I think I was good at it I think in leaving the law and going into a career of nonprofits where I had to build an organization and going into the University where I was building programs that hadn't existed before I was used to starting from scratch and I actually thrived on a blank slate I kind of liked a blank slate so you know one of the things that surprised me in the book and was also mentioned I tried to count I think 5 or 6 times was this feeling of you thinking I'm not good enough I think you mentioned it in all the way through adulthood it's something that I could relate to it's something that a lot of women can relate to deep how do you shake it and it is you still have to say to yourself even now I think I'm finally growing into feeling like I'm good enough it's it's a lifetime journey for us as women because it's so it's it's imprinted on us in so many ways I mean I describe sometimes the challenges that many women have to go through in life as cuts that we get along the way and some of them are small you know paper-thin cuts you know maybe it's a mean word at school or jealousy or the the mean girl or it's maybe something more deep like physical mental abuse or a cat call on the street or somebody grope you or said something about you or maybe it's something more personal like somebody telling you what you're not able to do but there's so many women we walk around with these cuts on us these unseen cuts and they affect us you know over the long run they define us they shape us our pain we slowly start feeling that you know and I think that I don't think that there's a woman in the world who can't relate to this notion that somehow they don't belong because the the the world isn't set up for women it you know sadly I mean one of the reasons why we struggle to make sure that girls around the world get an education because so many cultures are telling them you're not good enough to even go to school you're not worthy of the investment you know we're not through with that those you know those notions not even in a country like ours you know anywhere we go in the world we find women who are struggling with their own identity and their sense of purpose and their value and I am no exception but you're not saying to yourself you know I think I've grown up well I think I've grown out of it a little bit but you know what there's still the sort of let me get this right you know I can't mess up you know I don't have room you know there's still that part of me there's a perfectionist part of me that feels when especially when you're in seats of power and people know you you you want to deliver you know so there's still that pressure but I you know it's not a question of whether I'm good enough it's just now I want to be good you write that when you had your girls that motherhood became your motivate yeah I love that line yeah I I wonder one of the hardest parts from my mom was hearing us hearing her girls criticized publicly it crushed her yeah oh oh is that for you well I you know I tried to make sure that they they weren't out there to be crushed but oh gosh it's it's the mama bear in us and you know so we tried to set up boundaries around their exposure which is why you would rarely see the girls outside of public events you know the Christmas tree lighting or getting the tree or the how there were a set of things where we sort of told the press okay the girls are gonna be here and this is the time but don't publish anything else that don't go to their school you know because now there's social media thank God there wasn't bad - right I mean yeah but you know the feeling is you you want your kids to grow up normal you want them to be able to have big wonderful experiences privately and you want them to be able to fail and stumble privately like any other kids and when they're not allowed to do that it's unfair and you you feel guilty about it you know because you feel like this is the life you chose because they didn't choose this life so you yeah you go through all kinds of emotions they need to call me picture in a book that I loved I loved the memory of it don't touch a teacher out there yes we had driven down from Baltimore Barbara come from New York you guys we taught them how to go down the banister you're welcome well and and they did that off that's exactly what I want them to learn like how have you seen your whole family when you think back to that day before you even said in the hull of that majestic house like how have you all changed how are you Wow well the girls are young women now just like you all I mean it it's it's weird when the world sees you grow up you know it's an odd thing for the world to see you transition from a child to a young woman and so they've grown up then they've had their stumbles and they have they've had their triumphs and you know that phase of their life is over and I think the girls are happy about it I they're happy to be you know as you know you know it's an honor to be there but you're fine when it's over but I I will remember that time fondly as well because it wasn't the first visit to the White House in fact your mom set up a second visit to make sure the girls could come back when you all would be there you know and you guys took that time and flew in and gave them the kids tour of the White House it wasn't just sliding down the banister but they saw the movie theater and you showed them their bedrooms and you guys talked about the exciting parts you made you made them feel excited about the strange strange and scary thing that was about to happen to them you know it's so funny because we thought they were the same age that we were when my grandfather became inaugurated so we start our selves yeah and we saw what it's like to see the White House through the innocent eyes of children and it is powerful and it's also grounding them you know I you know look I love your family because your family is grounded and I think having children and grandchildren around because it keeps you focused on what's really important you know all the you know the challenges of the day that the president faces and to be able to come up that elevator and get off on that second floor and find peace and children bring that because they're innocent so you come home they don't care about what crisis you were dealing with they want to talk about the argument they had with their friend or the questions that they have about life and it's a calming force you know that's so my I got a text from my dad this morning that said then Michelle my love I was like don't you call her mrs. Obama he's like no I call her Michelle he said send her my love and I thought you know it's so interesting how people are so interested in yours friendship I mean that hug was like the hug that went around the world I do love that picture yeah that's your dad that's a you you know your dad you know he's why do you think people are so hungry for that because I think the political discourse the way it's shown in the media is it's all the nasty parts of it you know because I guess we've become a culture where the nasty sells so people are just going to keep feeding that but the truth is much more complicated and complex than that and I'd love that if we as a country could get back to the place where we didn't demonize people who disagreed with us because that's essentially the the difference between Republicans and Democrats who are all Americans we all care about our family and our kids and we're trying to get ahead we have different ideas about what's the best way to get there you know but that doesn't make me evil and that doesn't make him you know stupid it's it's just a disagreement and that's how I feel about your father you know he's a he's a beautiful funny kind sweet man and I don't know that I agree with him on everything but if you all had time over Casuarina more than you think right so I think but I think in in in America's heart that's where we want to be and I think that our relationship reminds us that we can get there with the right leadership and with the right tone setting and with each of us giving one another the benefit of the doubt and for me my book becoming if if I want anything to come from that I want us to share our stories with each other you know because when you're not just staring you're sharing your stats like where'd you go to school how much money you make what's your job and you get down to what how do you grow up you know who's your dad what did he mean to you you know if we can tap into those stories and share them with other people then that's when we let each other in in into those vulnerabilities and we can see each other as real people that's what we're missing right now and I think people are hungry for that they are yeah when I wrote you a letter after Lee you did your the election just to thank you for all of your work because I know it's not easy I want to cry I know I do but I also wanted to get advice about how to talk to my girls about the data the people the language that's being asked yeah what why did you say to your girls you know you know we we know how to raise our kids you know this this is the thing that we have to think about we you know that's what we have to think as adults is this behavior something that we would want our two year old or four year old you know there are values that we understand and cut across party and race and identity and religion you know values of kindness and appreciation it's like you push past that we still have to teach our children what we know is right you know so in some instances you have to tell them this isn't how grown-ups behave don't emulate this watch me watch your mom watch your dad watch your family you know we have to push through it because they're the next generation you know I mean aren't your little babies your precious ones who I got to dance with the other day they were very good by the way they called but they didn't seem to care much about the guys Meghan Trainor Clarkson's daughter yes the draw but we have to you know teach our kids better you know so my advice is like you know what's right and everybody out there knows what's right the right thing to do and we owe it to our kids to keep them on the right track even when they're grown-ups around them behaving badly you know there's this tradition where formers don't don't speak up it's it's a it's a I think it's a beautiful tradition yes where you let people yeah use their voice yes but right now this isn't a traditional time yeah we're in a we're in a different place right now feels like forever right but is it hard for you like do you call friends and you're like oh my gosh is it hard to keep quiet or does it feel like what's right you know yes it is because it is true we live in a democracy people vote and the leadership that's in they get to lead but so it's it's really important to strike a balance so for me for example I chose not to campaign but to encourage people to vote because I think that that's a message that transcends everything I think all of us formers currents knots we need to be encouraging everyone to stay involved and engaged in this democracy and in order to do that people have to be knowledgeable and we're still role models and leaders even though we're formers people still see themselves in us we still have bases of people who listen to us so for me I still think it's my responsibility to use my voice to help people get to a better place and for me voting this time around that was my message vote it matters you know I don't care who you vote for just vote and vote every time vote for dog catcher vote for your City Council know who your board of you're who's on your board of education you vote and I'm gonna keep saying it and saying it and saying it until it becomes a habit that it must be so that the people who get into office are the people that we all believe in and then we then we can't complain because we did our part I watched as my parents you know climb the high mountain the highest mountain and then had to transition and it went in it's awkward but it's something you know that's happening but it is tricky in some ways because your debt isn't full of papers and the weight of the world is now gone yeah what's the transition been like for you and the president it's been oh it's been okay I mean those first few years when you come out there's still a lot to do you know you're writing your book you know Barack is you know he's writing and writing and writing you've got your presidential library that you have to get going so there's a lot of work to do you know around that so the transition has been okay for us for now but I think the next question that we have to strike just as individuals and as a couple of is what's the balance of work that we want to do you know I mean formers are workaholics you know they are people who love to be busy and you know the question that I ask my husband is okay let's make sure we're making time to enjoy the life that we've been working for so getting used to what that feels like and what that means we're still working through that and we're going to be empty nesters I know so our you know lookout house things are gonna go wild who knows look out are you the empty nester that's tearing up are you the empty nester that's like Oh finally you know well you know this is how I see it I can feel in both of my girls that they were ready for the next step and I'm I was I'm excited for them to go to their next part of the journey so I can't be selfish and say oh I wish you would stay because I can feel that they need they need more so I'm excited for them because every phase they get they get more independent they get more autonomous I think my girls are gonna thrive in that so I'm kind of excited for them and I told them no matter where you go I'll drop in whenever I need to see you I'll I'll find you you know maybe I'll look up and I'm auditing a class I used to threaten them like that it's like I can audit classes dream is to see their mother just texting lol yeah exactly yes who's in town that want to go to dinner we're gonna do a quick quickfire okay um what's your favorite date night favorite date night is always dinner I'd rather eat than watch a movie so we can talk so that's been your date night for all those we're always gonna what is your TV show you're watching right now oh gosh TV show I love blackish comedy I love the crown oh yeah although that's not on right extreme things yeah I like streaming thing yes what else what else what else those are those are good recommendations um so everything you write about how your childhood household was always filled with music how your grandma yeah showed us outside yes so you as a collection of Records is it still a music household and what do you all listening to yeah yeah but everybody's got their own thing you know I mean we have a turntable yet you know playing a turntable requires focus you know whenever I'm using the turntable the music stops and I'm wondering what happened to the music and it's like oh I have to change the record you know so so we all have our own music but yes sasha is big so everybody's got their music blasting so yes what was the last thing that made you laugh oh my brother he's here he's funny my brother cracks me up he's he's one of the funniest people don't you think siblings are such a yeah yeah it's just yeah that's such a gift okay your favorite thing about life right now Oh freedom the one that had Secret Service with me when I got engaged right I know what do you think that sounds today yeah we're if you had more time in the day how would you use it oh wow I'd spend more time with young people I love that I mean I had a nice round table conversation with some seniors at my alma mater wouldn't young and just talking to young people just hearing how smart they are and how open they are that keeps me I always feel hopeful when I walk away so I try to surround myself by things I would spend more time surrounded by things that gave me hope and that's usually young people what are you becoming now oh who are you becoming now I am still figuring that out I am becoming more confident [Music]

Channel: TODAY

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Keywords: today, today show, the today show, today show interviews, michelle obama, michelle obama interview, michelle obama new book, michelle obama memoir, michelle obama becoming, becoming memoir, Jenna bush hager, jenna bush hager michelle obama, jenna bush hager interviews, what is michelle obama doing now, what is michelle obama's book about, today show interview, celebrity interviews, barack obama, former first lady, becoming michelle, full michelle obama interview

Id: 5QLL-jM30QA

Length: 22min 16sec (1336 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 14 2018