Michelle Obama On Education & Self-Belief | Penguin Talks

I just got a very brief role now before we introduce our main guests and it's really just to tell you about why it is so important our relationship with mrs. Obama now as many of you know she first visited the school in 2009 and what she said then was about hard work having big dreams and overcoming any obstacles and you've heard from two young women here who were there then about it really did have a powerful impact but she didn't just speak and then disappear back to Washington she kept in touch she kept faith with us she kept faith in eg a students that she wrote to us she congratulated the young win on their successes she hosted a group of students at Oxford University and then she invited a group to the White House and that's incredible to have an amount of integrity to be a real friend of the school and I know how special it made all of us and still does today when people come to eg.a they know they're coming to the school where mrs. Obama was quite clear there are some very exceptional young women and we think what mayor Angelou said people will never forget how you make them feel and so can we have a huge EGA welcome for the former First Lady of the United States mrs. Michelle Obama [Applause] oh look at you all Wow was that a good enough welcome yeah I think so okay well you know mrs. Obama don't you how important your visit to us in 2009 was what impact did it have on you oh wow well the the visit set my course in one of my initiatives to work on girls education it was after that visit that I went back and I said we have to find a way to have these conversations around the world because meeting with the girls here and the girls at Mulberry just reminded me of how much talent and how much courage and how much hope there is in our girls who are struggling to do everything right when they have so much working against them so from that day we started shaping the at the time was our let girls learn initiative and we had a tremendous impact at that level in them when I left the White House we just relaunched what we're calling the global girls Alliance and all of that work that we're going to be doing to try to advance education for girls around the world start it right here so there's that on a personal level I was just moved touched and inspired as I always am by the young people I meet around the world it gives me a level of focus and determination in the work that I do when I get to see you all up close and as I said then you remind me of me and all the fears and all the challenges that you face and you guys give me a sense of comfort because being first lady it wasn't the easiest job in the world but I got strength from your hope in what I could do for you so I will always be emotionally connected to the these institutions and see these girls around the world so thank you all for that thanks for giving me that and for us to feel that we helped to shape or the wonderful work that you've done since then is incredibly powerful and the message that just in small things great things can come we never know what is going to come of one small event but that's enough from me and I know that the three young women here who you met earlier on backstage have got lots of questions for you so proud of them yes just young women in the world doing exactly what I knew you'd be doing so I'm so incredibly proud of all of you really thank you very much actually I'm talking about education we always talk about classrooms and I'm experiences and what we can do for young women can you tell us more about your experience as a school girl and what it was like especially to go to university to Princeton as one of the very few young black women there well I as many of you know my background I mean I grew up in Chicago and a working-class community my parents weren't wealthy so we didn't have the resources to spend on fees at private schools we went to the neighborhood public school and I went to public school my entire life and I I was always that student who wanted to get A's I wanted to do well I enjoyed learning I enjoyed excelling but what I found out is that when you're one of those kids in a community where not everyone has the same goals I found myself having to walk a bunch of different lines there were some kids that didn't like kids who were smart and got good grades there were some kids who criticized the way I talked they said that I talk like I was white which was another way of saying that you think you're better than other people so I had to contend with how do I get my education when I'm surrounded by people who may have different expectations of me and those just weren't the kids in the neighborhood there were teachers I had to confirm teachers who underestimated me every step of the way even when I applied to Princeton I write about in my book and I tell this story all the time even though I was at the top of my class and I was a class officer I was a leader when I sat down with my high school counselor somebody who didn't know me but was assigned to work with students to help them apply to college and I told them my intention was to apply to Princeton that counselor told me I don't think your Princeton material the the person whose job it was to help young people reach their dreams when it came to college saw me and whatever she saw in me told her that my dreams were too high and that cut me in a way that even though I continued on I applied obviously you know I got in but I still remember that story I remember that feeling of doubt just another adult sort of placing a barrier on me that I didn't even have for myself so then to enter into an elite school when your high school counselor has told you you're not good enough when I when all of society sort of looks at kids of color or kids from poor communities or rural communities as not belonging you know I like many others walked into that school with a stigma in my own head more young people nowadays call it imposter syndrome I don't know if they call it that in in Britain where kids like me feel like they don't belong so they feel like they're faking it and I had to get over that and one of the ways that I got over it was I had looked around at Princeton and I saw kids who were not as talented or as gifted or as hard-working as I was I learned that this notion of affirmative action sometimes only applies to kids of color or kids from different backgrounds or poor kid but there are all kinds of affirmative action that take place in in and elite schools around the country athletes who are admitted because not because they're great students but because they can add value legacies people who come from families with long lines within the school they get admission so I started to realize that the the doubts that I had in my head were all mine and and I had to work to overcome that question that I always ask myself am I good enough and I write about that that's a question that has dogged me for a good part of my life am I good enough to have all of this am I good enough to be the First Lady of the United States and I think that many women and definitely many young girls of all backgrounds walk around with that question but how I overcame that is how I overcome anything hard work so whenever I doubted myself I I just told myself let me put my head down and do the work and I would let my work speak for itself and I still find that I do that I still feel that at some level I have something to prove because of the color of my skin because of the shape of my body because of who knows how people are judging me but it takes some time and it takes some maturity to start having some successes under your belt where you realize yes in fact I am good enough so I had to get out of my own way first of all and realize that I belong just as much as anyone else so and that counselor has a lot to answer for determination they could have been completely put off from applying and I know that risky you wanted to us something about that didn't you yes definitely something that I remember about your visit in 2009 a new speech that you made was the importance of your education and how that has put you in the position that you are today and for me as a young working women I know that without my education the way that I look wouldn't necessarily get me to the places that I am today and the things that I'm achieving but I just wanted to ask you about kind of increasing dive in those top universities because you know I feel like sometimes there are barriers that we put in front of ourselves that make us think we're not worthy of the best education there is so what do you think we can do to encourage young girls from sort of modest backgrounds to push those barriers and to get into those schools well part of what we have to do is expose them to the opportunities all kids can only dream things that are known to them so if they don't see elite colleges if they don't get access to them if they don't know these places exist if they don't know that women like us are out there doing the work they don't even know what's a dream of Princeton for me was really only on my radar screen because my older brother applied because he was an athlete he was a good student but he was also a very good basketball player so he was recruited as one of those scholar athletes that these universities are looking for and I knew my brother right and I knew I was smarter than my brother so I thought well if he can get into Princeton I know I can get in there but I don't think I would have even considered Princeton because I didn't have anyone supporting me that's why our visit to Oxford was so important I think that colleges and universities and I think more of them are doing this they have to do the work to start reaching out to kids very young because as you know if you're really going to compete in those institutions kids need to start having a vision of that when they're in eighth grade and seventh grade I always mess up the equivalent but when before you get into high school because a lot of times in order to even qualify you have to take a certain set of courses and if you don't if you don't know that you need four years of math or a couple of years of a language if you start out high school not realizing that you need to build up just a set of courses and experiences to even qualify to apply sometimes kids who don't apply because they've missed the boat so I think we have to start working on pipeline much earlier we can't wait until somebody it's two years out of high school ready to go to college we need to start talking to them early and that includes not just conversations but visits you know kids need to be able to walk around these hallowed halls and sit in the dining hall and learn what it feels like to live in a dormitory and to sit in a lecture you know we need to expose them to the terminology of these schools I found that when I went to Princeton you know things like we had precepts and what was a precept well it was a small discussion group I had never heard of that I'd never heard of a syllabus because we didn't use that language in the public school system even some of the sports were you know intimidating because they weren't ones that I was familiar with and we can easily and cost-effectively expose kids to more opportunities sooner and I think that that's that's the beginning of starting to change the vision of what's possible and that's really interesting because Winnie I know you were particularly interested in talking about what you as young women who've been successful could actually do so have you got a question mrs. Obama I know you said it was very important to reach back and help others and I was just wondering what other ways can we be helping younger students well the it this is a good question because I I think young people when they think about change you get hung up on thinking that the only change that matters is something big and huge and powerful and mighty starting your own organization or moving the needle on it on an initiative but when you're young the best thing you can do is number one take care of you because you are the best asset you you can invest in at this time so that means taking care of your space your health your education protecting your heart is an important investment for the bigger picture and then think about who's just who around you who can you really influence and everyone can influence someone maybe it's a younger sibling you know maybe it's a neighbor maybe it's another girl and a class below you because when you think about it younger kids they don't necessarily look up to the teacher they look up to the girl right just above them you know younger girls love teenagers you are fascinating to young girls it's the way you carry yourselves you're just a mystery to them so when you're a teenager kids who are in lower levels you have power over how they see themselves in a way that even I don't because you have access to them on a regular basis so I would urge you to think about who do you have access to right now today that is looking to you for guidance they see you as a role model because I guarantee you there is someone in your life right now who thinks that the Sun rises and sets on every word you say and I would I would start talking to them and I would do small things like bring them with me when I did something unique taking them to a museum it's those small gestures that matter it's not just it's not the grand sweeping actions that make change change happens every single day with the little interactions that you have with the people in your life and you can also have an impact on the men in your life because oftentimes there are fathers or grandfather's her brothers who aren't quite sure that investing in a girl's education is worth it and some mothers think that as well well you're living example in your communities of the power of an education and so vocalize that vocalize within your communities what this means to you articulate your passion to them try to change some hearts in mind so that so that the next little girls coming up in your communities don't run into the same kind of barriers in the resistance that maybe you experienced because you're coming back as a success parent can see from just what these three young ladies are doing that the investment that you all made in your education is coming back in multiple ways I say this now what I can do for my family because I have an education how I can take care of my mother my mother doesn't have to want for anything because she placed that investment in me at a young age and some parents who aren't who don't have that experience and are afraid of sending their girls out there aren't thinking further down the road so you can be the example that some of the elders need to see so that they view education differently for their daughters well on that note of than actions and what we can do to you know empower these women and boys and young men and young women around us I think it's fair to say especially from the visit in Marbury and in 2015 women's ambitions the ambitions of our students and our girls and the honor clinic community is so high people are very very ambitious but but the issue is the lack of opportunities and the lack of access to a lot of resources and this is what you said as well is you even said in 2015 during the speech that we're just working class kids for from a good community with limited resources how do you think we can actually tackle this issue and what can you say to the young women out there to encourage them to overcome these issues and these barriers as well yeah well well one builds on the other without education you don't have the resources the skills the knowledge the know-how to know how to advocate in your community for change so it's sort of like what comes first the chicken or the egg it's hard to say it all has to happen at the same time because when you succeed and you rise up and you get your education you can then go back and bring others along with you but if you're not trained you know if you're not exposed if you don't invest now in that then you don't have you don't even have a vision for change you don't even understand what the issues are that are keeping your community oppressed what are those economic factors what are the levers that you need to push how much is politics involved in some of those decisions and so your job is to go out it's sort of like go to the mountains have top and find the truth see it for yourself and bring the message down to to to others it isn't simple it is complicated and change takes a long time and I think that's also something that is a bit of a disappointment when young people get out there and they start doing the work and they realize how complicated it is to actually make systemic change but you have to remember you may be planning the seeds of change that won't be felt until your grandchildren are here but that doesn't mean that you don't do the work now you know you have to build one by one but it but it starts with every girl in this school investing in their preparation so that they have the knowledge in the skill set to tackle some of these issues when we came to Washington we met some of the White House mentees and I just think with these young women here are just some fantastic examples of what can be achieved and wonder what advice you would have them to give it if they could become mentors to other people rather than just in being an example how do you become a mentor what was it you felt that was so important in a mentoring program well I mentor because I was mentored and yeah I think Marian Wright Edelman one of my heroines said services the rent we pay for living and I feel the same thing I feel like when someone invests in me as many people have what I write about in my book is that I didn't get here on my own I didn't get here because I was some mere kid that had dust sprinkled on me and things just happened there were people in my life who saw potential in me people who didn't have to make the investment who held a handout and showed me the way and some of them were much older than me some of them were people who were my peers or people just ahead of me so I am a product of the generosity of other people's mentorship so my the expectation of myself is that I give that back and it's not a and it's also selfish of me that I mentor because I get a lot out of it too I mean one of the best things I do is spend time with younger people because they keep me focused they as I said at the top of this conversation you all keep me clear and focused I feel fulfilled in helping you achieve your goals it's the most fulfilling thing that I do is to watch another person benefit from something that I help them do I I'm not here to compete with people I'm here to keep continue to lift people up so I think my hope is that the the support that I've shown you and others have shown you you will find it in you to show that to someone else and one of the reasons I started the mentorship program in the White House was because I wanted people to know that everyone has the time and the capability even the first lady and the President of the United States because the president had a separate mentorship program too and we connected our mentees with senior people throughout the White House from the chief of staff to the head of the household to Secret Service agents they were connected with people on a regular basis so we can do it if we can find that if we could find the time in our busy lives to take a moment out because it it doesn't even take that long you know you can have an M act on another person with a with one good conversation you know I never underestimate the value I write this in the book of showing children my regard which is why I take time out when I see kids because I think even if I'm with you in a photo line or on a rope line that maybe there's one thing I can say to you that you're beautiful that you're smart that I see you you know that I believe in you yeah I don't know you but sometimes a kid just needs to hear that and that doesn't have to come from the first lady it's powerful when it does come from the first lady but coming from you coming from all of you to someone who looks up to you it means the same thing so my expectation for all of you is that you find a way to mentor and maybe now is not the time but at some point in your life when you get to a place where you have the space my hope is that you make that time and that you continue to look for the mentors in your life because I still look for mentors even today there anybody who knows more than me I'm gonna sit them down and they're gonna become my friend and I'm gonna ask for help I did it when I came into the White House as one of the the first people I sat down with or other living first ladies I made it a point to meet with every single one of them number one to just thank them for their service number two I wanted to make sure they felt the lines of communication were open with me third I wanted to know what it was like for them what were their challenges and what were their struggles and I made sure that my staff stay connected to Laura Bush's staff so that they could pick up the phone and call and learn so you never stop learning and I never stop learning so if I'm still looking for mentorship you all should be doing that in every phase of your life whether it's another mother when you become a parent you're going to need other parents to help you mentor if you're in a relationship you're gonna want mentorship to help you get through your relationship it never stops that's really powerful isn't it that we can all learn from each other and Winnie you wanted to ask a question about that didn't you making of mentoring what is the best piece of advice that you have ever been given oh I've been given so much good advice oh wow um finding my passion and I'll stop there because I just had this conversation earlier this morning you know one of the challenges that formal education places before young people is that you're taught to figure out what you want to be when you grow up right and you're given titles all right and there's a finite set of them a lawyer teacher a researcher you you learn those titles and then you you do the work to get to those titles and then you get jobs and you have careers what I learned was none of that has anything to do necessarily with who I am not what I want to be what do I care about how do I want to wake up and invest my time every day what brings me joy what makes me sad we don't teach that in school but I learned to try to find that for me and turn that passion into my career and that was some of the best advice because that's when I decided learn that I didn't want to be a lawyer because I had never taken the time to think about why was I going to law school I was going to law school because I thought I should be a lawyer not because that's who I was that's not it wasn't that that that work filled me up so I had to learn how to do that and that required networking and exposing myself to more people and more jobs and more careers and more opportunities and as a result of that I became an assistant to the mayor in the city of Chicago and then I went on to run a non-profit organization and I went on to be an associate dean at a university and I went on to be the vice president and an academic medical center and my life just started opening up in ways that I never predicted because I started asking myself that one simple question not what did I want to be but who did I want to be and how did I want to show up in the world and if you all can get the jump on starting to ask yourself that question as you you know go after your careers if you're starting to think about what what kind of work will bring you joy because if you find that you're gonna do well at it and everything else is gonna fall into place and it did for me so that was some of the best advice I got and really important because we're all going to be working for a very long time so we need to actually enjoy what we're doing Latricia I know you had something to talk about about friendship didn't you yeah friendship and role models female role models really so for me the most inspiring person in my life directly and my role model is my mother just because I know she came from you know quite a tough background and she worked incredibly hard to get where she was and give me a better life and I know for you you've said similar things about the impact that your mother's had in your in your life so I just wanted to ask you about the importance of female role models strong female role models in your life and also perhaps about your female friends and how that kind of sisterhood has has helped in and impacted your life and the importance of that for young girls like myself and everyone here who you all know something about sisterhood here right just a little bit of something yeah female role models were you know they were critical and I was surrounded by wonderful strong women in different ways I mean the thing you point out is strength shows up in so many different ways it doesn't just show up in a top education and a high-powered career with a salary it doesn't have a title necessarily the strong women in my life were my mother and aunts and my grandmother's you know people who got up every day and worked and sacrificed and didn't complain and showed me love and filled me up with so much knowledge just based on the common sense real life people that they were my mother is the most important woman in my life without a doubt and she has been my aide my my source of strength she moved her life into the White House something that this woman would have never wanted to do on her own this was not her idea of something great you know up ending her life and being put out on the international stage but she did it because once again she was sacrificing to support me and to support our daughters in a way that you know she has done all my life I've seen you know women who get up and work and do the hard work the unpleasant unfulfilled work of just making a living and then come home and sew the clothes and do the laundry and make sure that the holidays are special for their children those are the that's that's the kind of role modeling that's those are the voices in my head every day when I think about the kind of woman that I want to be but before I go on to friendships I also want to talk about the importance that the men in my life played in in making me a strong woman because I also had a father and a brother who respected me and and didn't treat me as a princess they treated me as an equal from an early age so my brother learned a box I learned a box right along with him when my brother learned how to throw a ball I was on the other end catching the ball I was I was their equal and I felt that and I say this to men and we don't have many men in this room is that we don't want to downplay the importance of men holding young girls in high regard that that plays an important role and I'm not really speaking to you all right now I'm talking to the men out there who sometimes think well strong girls are made they come from strong women and the truth is strong girls come from strong men too and and that played a huge role in me feeling safe and secure and also having a high bar for the kind of men I would let into my life because of the example that my father showed how he treated me how he treated my mother I married a Barack Obama who I knew would be the same kind of man to me and to my daughters so we can't underestimate the the important role that uh that that a solid male presence has as a role model but then there are the friendships oh you know that my girlfriends have kept me going through this especially when I started when when kids came into the the scene because many of my girlfriends were working mothers like me and you guys are you you guys cannot relate to the stories and the struggles of all that comes when children show up in your life it will be the greatest joy but it will be your biggest challenge especially if you've got to earn a living and you live in a busy household so I relied we my girlfriends we relied on one another you know that notion it takes a village to raise a child is absolutely true and I want you young girls to know that I don't think that children were meant to be raised in isolation you know we need help we need help from our aunties and our mothers and our girlfriends but we also have to learn how to ask for that help and sometimes we're socialized as women to believe that you have to do it all on your own I've done none of this on my own I've done this with the help and support and love and emotional encouragement of other women and on that note I want you all to start practicing that kind of sisterhood if you're not already which means that we as women we don't have the luxury of of tearing each other down you know we we just simply don't have the luxury there are enough barriers out there there are enough people out there ready to tear us down so our job as women as much as we can because no one is perfect is to do our best to lift each other up and to do that you have to start practicing now in your friendships and the way you treat other other people you know there's no room for there no room for Mean Girls and cliques and social complications that come that naturally come at your age I want you all to be mindful of that as you grow and start practicing that now with one another find somebody who's struggling and help them you know don't don't hold them down don't put your foot on their neck you know if you see another girl alone or isolated you never know what they're going through keep that part of your heart open to each other because you're gonna need it and I still need it so that's one thing that we can do better as women is that we can take better care of each other and I hope you all are practicing and if you are already practicing you continue to do that absolutely right I think of both Melbury and EGA being part of the community is one of the the biggest things for us that we are all in this together Atrisco I know you had a question just about Tyler's first lady didn't you yes what are your proudest moments as first lady oh so many well this relationship that I that that we've built together is really one of my biggest sources of pride when I was walking here I saw that you have framed all the letters that we ever sent back and forth and that warms my heart as well as my staff we looked at that and almost broke out in tears but this relationship is special raising my daughters and having them turn out sane because it it wasn't a guarantee we put them in a tough situation they grew up with a harsh light of the of the International judgment on them as they were as they were your age you know imagine being your age and having your father criticized in public or having every word you utter or everything you post watched and analyzed imagine having your first boyfriend plastered all over the tabloids or going on prom with men with guns you know or trying to go to a your soccer practice and people are taking pictures of you because of who you are you know at the very age where they needed to just blend in they couldn't because we forced them into a light that made them stand out so I spent a lot of my energy being vigilant in trying not only to you know make sure that I had substantive initiatives that were making an impact but I also had to be mom to them first and foremost and make sure that they felt like they had the attention of their mother while their mother was giving attention to the world and and I'm glad we're at the other end of that for them so that's a source of pride I think I'm proud to the extent that there are any young people who look at the work that we've done over the neck over the past eight years or past ten years now I'm losing track and they see differ possibilities for themselves you know I can point to initiatives and numbers and statistics and you know people that we helped and you know policies that we changed but truly for me if there's anyone out there who sees a different possibility for themselves as a young person and they act on that because of something that we did that's to me where real change happens changing a life potentially saving a life in some instances that's what I'm proud of just just add I think you are someone who you've really practice what you preach you think education is the most valuable thing to young women and here you are in a school and as you were nine years ago inspiring us so yeah I absolutely believe that education is the key not just for young women but for people in general knowledge the the the opportunity to mature to try new things to meet new people to be open to different cultures you know a lot of the problems that we have in the world come from lack of knowledge you know people who are just under exposed to all the different ways there are to be human and we judge people based on our limited understanding of the world and I always try to hold out empathy for those who are in that position because I know that it's based in a place of ignorance sounds like a harsh word but it's the appropriate word just not knowing you only know what you know and sadly if your worldview is this small and you know no one else that looks or think differently from you because you didn't have the chance to be educated or to travel or to see the world or to have your ideas challenged and to learn how to be analytical you know then it's understandable that you would be afraid of something different from you yeah but the only way we break through that is to educate ourselves and to educate the next generation you know to open them up to new ideas I mean there you have to learn how to be a critical thinker it doesn't just happen now so someone can't analyze what brexit means if they don't know how to think critically about the issues you know if you if you're not a strong reader if you if you can't take in huge amounts of information and break it down and have it make sense you will you won't even know when things are good for you or bad for you so yes I absolutely believe and particularly for women and girls because women still raise the next generation you know that's just sort of the the the the sad part of this women are at the heart of all society we bring life we raise life we nurture life we we feed our families and if we don't know what to do if those mothers raising children don't know how to keep them alive or not expose them to diseases or to feed them when they're hungry if they can't raise a living to bring resources in we all struggle so it would seem to me that if we want to solve anything any major issue that you can think about climate change terrorism poverty inequality it starts with an education you know I don't know how we we do any of it if if if people don't know what they don't know you you started off the answer to the Trischka there abouts you're really proud if you've had an impact on people if you've made them think differently or you've brought about some change so you must be incredibly proud knowing the impact you've had not on just the young women here today but a whole years and years of EGA girls of Mulberry students as well and of course across the world because when you spoke a teacher in 2009 we know you were speaking to young women across the globe so you must be hugely proud of your achievements mr. farmer and but now I know that these young women have got lots more to say but what we're going to do we've had a conference today and Sarah beegley is going to come and talk about the conference that we've had it's really really important and things you've been saying and they're gonna be she's going to ask you three questions that have arisen out of this conference today so Sarah yes mrs. Obama we spent all morning discussing the themes of belonging and diversity and actually so many of the things that you've been talking about girls echo exactly the things that we've been discussing in here so it's it's a wonderful connection between our conversations and the conversations here so thank you so much for that we've got three questions can I have West Kara there she is Kara's question was from your experience what do you think has been the most effective way of bringing about positive change in a community my husband says this all the time and many great leaders of chain said it change doesn't happen from the top down it happens from the bottom up when people in the communities are viewed as assets to the problem rather than part of the problem and when their power and abilities are are harnessed to make change in that community when that happens you're more inclined to ensure that the change will last because the people who were impacted will be invested in it so it's hard you know when when people look to the leader the President of the United States in our country and say why don't you fix education the truth is is that that work has to start at in the home first and foremost where the messages for example that kids are getting from their parents are that education is important and regardless of what kind of school you go to or what kind of neighborhood you're from you're gonna get up and you're gonna go to school and you're gonna be on time and you're gonna learn what you can in the environment that you can until we fix the problem but you can change policy but if you don't change what's going on right in people's homes that policy means nothing so I think that's you know that's where the whole notion of community organizing comes in the notion that you have to start building your resources on the ground you have to start educating and training people to be their own change agents you know I we have to stop thinking that there is one person that's going to deliver us from our from from our challenges we are the change we've been looking for but you got to be prepared for that which means you have to know something and you also have to know your community now because you can't ask leaders to come in who don't know what's happening on the ground because every community is different every person is different and while I may know something I don't know what's going on in your life and that takes time so I'm gonna need people to educate me so I think change happens from the bottom up and actually just before you arrived we asked the girls here who'd been part of the conference just stand up organically and make a pledge about something that they wanted to do at school level and it was overwhelming that we had to stop because we just didn't have time for all the pledges but it was absolutely wonderful and that you are the change the change starts with you okay next question tah Serena can you stand up please mrs. Obama your book is all about becoming what do you consider is your next step in creating world in which diversity in all forms is celebrated I'm still trying to figure that out well as I said or just relaunched our global girls alliance so education is is going to be is going to play a significant role and what I do but my husband and I are working on the Obama Presidential Library all United States Presidents develop a library and sometimes that's a that's a place where artifacts from the administration are there for people to come and see but in terms of the work that we want to do Barack and I we want to be a part of training that next generation of leaders we know that it's it's not enough to have just one Michelle or one Barack or one or two people here or there we have to have a pipeline of these kind of individuals who are making pledges but then have the question of how do I do it you know how do I go from sitting in this gymnasium with passion to having the skills and the tools to translate that into real work do we need to go now is at lunchtime so we want to be a part of working with leaders not just in the United States but around the world and so Brock and I have made that pledge to find nurture trained and that doesn't mean just finding the next president but who are those community organizers on the ground who are the social workers who are the people who are going to be on their City Council who's gonna be the next school board president who's gonna who are gonna be the next great parents that parent and create the next leader what we think that that kind of multiplier effect is more powerful than anything he or I can do as individuals milto how does it feel to be a symbol of hope for young women in a world that can sometimes feel against you is scary I don't know that's that's a I I still have a little imposter syndrome that goes on it never goes away I'm still sort of like you're actually listening to me that you know it doesn't it doesn't go away that feeling of well I I don't know if you all should take me that seriously I'm just Michelle Robinson that little girl on the south side who went to public school what do I know I share that with you because we all have doubts about our abilities and and what what we can do with our power and what that power is but it goes back to my feeling that if I'm giving people hope then I'm good with that responsibility so now I just have to make sure that I am accountable and that I hold myself up in a way that earns that that hope in that trust because my feeling is we don't have any choice but to make sure that we elders are giving our young people a reason to hope you know that's why when people talk about my motto when they go low we go high you know in these times people have asked me several times do you still think that that's true in light of what's going on the bitterness the nastiness that we see in politics and the challenges that the world are facing and the issues we have around immigration and diversity and accepting one another and my answer is what choice do we have it's our responsibility to have hope and to act with hope and to lead with hope if we want our kids to model anything better so I think that that you know that that's not it that's not a choice that's not a role I can abdicate easily it's you know I've been given too much not to do something with that we do I can be I can be here all day they would drag me the people back there the reasons I have yeah but we do so in politically unstable times what do you see is the main challenges and opportunities for minorities and underrepresented people oh that list is so very long inequality ignorance racism homophobia you know all of that but I think the the one challenge that we have at least I know in our country is harnessing the power that we do have and not and not relinquish that and by that specifically I mean voting you know in our country no matter where you come from or what your income is or what your political affiliation is every American has one vote but there are people who use that vote every time and then there are people who don't use it at all and sometimes those folks are the ones who can least afford not to use it maybe because of lack of education maybe because people are just too overwhelmed by the challenges they're facing to actually get to get their motivation and their plane to get her to vote every time they have to whatever the reason you know we saw in our country in this past presidential election huge numbers of young people who did not vote huge numbers of Hispanics and African Americans who didn't vote the people who are the most oppressed sometimes feel the most disenfranchised they don't trust the system they don't believe it will work and that's one of the reasons why in this past election rather than campaigning for a candidate we invested time and trying to educate people about the power of voting and to try to make voting feel as sexy and as interesting as tweeting and taking a selfie because we tend to do that well across cultures everybody knows how to use an iPhone and how to click a selfie but not everybody understands that voting is is how change happens in democracies and until we overcome that and we get beyond that where our percentages of voting go up and they're more representative of the populations that are being governed we will struggle because people who vote vote for their interests and if the only people in our country for example who were voting or older people in their 60s and up that's who the country will work for even if that's the minority so I think that continues to be a challenge it's not the obvious one but like I said all the other issues are there and there are many and we could talk on and on about them but in democracies that's how you change policy you elect people who understand those issues who support the direction of the country that you want it to go in and so we're going to need more young people being informed and engaged in in their democracies thank you so much there's still five minutes I see the clock ticking down no questions left what are we gonna do yes I actually do have one question so you talked we talked a lot on sisterhood and you know the men in our lives and what they can do Marguerite this year in particular we had our first ever partnership a vehicles conference in an inspiration of what the work that you do as well and so in the partnership of vehicles conference we talked a lot on the Equality of the sexes and also just people from so many different communities and something that structure struck us was the power relations between you and President Obama when you were in office and even now the work you do you post White House how do you think this works in your relationship how do you ensure that punishable vehicles because that is obviously something that we can learn from and corporations and so many other people in so many different sectors can learn from as well hmm that's a great question we're still working on it but what I've come to learn is that in a partnership that there is there is rarely a time when everything is completely equal where you do 50 percent and I do 50 percent life doesn't work that way it doesn't work that way in your friendships it doesn't work that way at home you know sometimes some people pick up more slack than the other so it's the the equity isn't measured on a moment-by-moment basis it's sort of a long-term view of equity so what I found in my relationship with my husband that there were times that I was doing more of the parenting more of the of the of the home making more of the scheduling and the sort of grunt work of family and he was doing more career stuff him stuff running for stuff holding office stuff but now that our kids are older that's starting to in different ways so one of the things I've been telling to women in particular what I have found is that it is difficult to have it all at the same time that there's oftentimes a balance that goes into life and some women feel like sometimes we as women hurt ourselves we we we put too much pressure on ourselves to think that we should have it all I found that there are times when I took a different career because it was better for my family and it wasn't my passion but I at least I I was making a conscious decision about that because I wanted to invest more time in my girls or I needed a better benefits package you know life there's a lot of practicality that comes into shaping a life in a relationship with somebody and there's a lot of compromise and a lot of give-and-take but in order to be a true partner in any relationship I've learned that you have to be whole first it doesn't work if this makes sense to you to go into a partnership thinking I'm broken and my partner will make me whole so it's sort of like love doesn't fix the problems that you have inside that you are a better partner if you work on yourself if you know who you are if you know how to earn your own living and to take care of yourself so that if something goes wrong you can be an equal if you don't know your likes and dislikes if you haven't tried new things if you haven't overcome some of your fears the relationship doesn't fix all the stuff that is our the the holes that individuals have which is why I think education is so important because being out there and going to college and learning about yourself and trying new things all of that makes you a better part in whatever relationship you choose to be in because you will have you will have explored yourself in ways that will help you add value but conversely you have to pick a partner who is whole you know you can't fix necessarily a broken person just because you love them they have to do that work so some of the Equality comes in we picked each other for a lot of the same reasons and I pick somebody as I said earlier who would be willing to work on himself and work on us and not just think that's your work to do so choose wisely I would say choose wisely mrs. Palmer we all coming to the end at that time now you can see yeah 60 minutes so all I have to say is to thank you so much for coming back to EGA for keeping faith with us for continuing to inspire another generation of young women you really are an inspiration to us all thank you so much thank you for having me you

Channel: Penguin Books UK

Views: 420,562

Rating: 4.8188567 out of 5

Keywords: Penguin Books UK books, author, michelle obama, news, obama, president, breaking news, barack obama, christmas, former first lady, world news, becoming, non fiction, penguin, books, reading, talks

Id: k6KSiZ2KA8s

Length: 62min 25sec (3745 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 17 2018