Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

you [Music] hi everybody my name is David guzik and today I'm bringing you a video dealing with an issue that has come across my path many times in the most recent months what I want to talk to you about today is answering wrong beliefs about Christian marriage divorce and remarriage again that's Christian marriage divorce and remarriage because there's some wrong teaching going around up to this that's causing a lot of damage now I want you understand it's not my pattern it's not my habit to go around chasing everything I disagree with other Christians about I believe that there's a lot of Liberty in the Christian world and I have the Liberty to be right about some things and wrong about things of course I'm not purposefully wrong about anything but I hope other believers will grant me the grace to to just in their estimation be wrong about a few things and I want to grant that that same generosity to other people as well nevertheless it's come before me three or four times just in the most recent months a bad and I think a very dangerous this is a damaging teaching to the body of Christ about marriage divorce and remarriage and let me just give you some of the circumstances in which this has come before me in the last few months I spoke with a woman after a service when I was preaching back east a woman whose Christian husband thought that he had to divorce her and leave their young children without a father in the home this man felt that it was his Christian duty to divorce his Christian wife and leave their young children without a father in the home and she came to me as pastor David what do I do about this what what does God say about this is my husband right in one thing to divorce me a pastor called me for advice on a very similar situation I was surprised to hear that the circumstances in which the pastor described to me were very similar to the circumstances with this woman I talked to back east and then I have a few friends who because of this teaching at times they are plunged into tremendous guilt and who have even been told that they will go to hell because of the consequences of this teaching that I think is wrong and false and damaging now there's a few different folks out there who teach this some of them are not so extreme and some of them are very extreme on the not so extreme end of this is a great and godly man who God is used very wonderfully in his kingdom over the last many years a man named John Piper what what John Piper teaches on the subject I'm convinced is wrong now I'm very grateful that John Piper is not out on the extreme end of this yet nevertheless what he teaches I think is wrong and I think damaging to people in the body of Christ now the beliefs that both the extreme and the not so extreme that they're not all exactly the same but they run along the same lines and let me sort of define if I can for you this this wrong and dangerous teaching they teach this that if someone is divorced now no matter what the reason no matter what the grounds is of that divorce if someone is divorced they can never remarry that is they can never remarry and be in God's will it will never be God's will for a divorced person to remarry their only option is to be reconciled to their original spouse and the only way they could ever remarry is if their original spouse dies this is a teaching that the only thing that can break the marriage bond is death and nothing else the second aspect is teaching is this that if a divorced person let's say a Christian does remarry they are in every case they are guilty of adultery that's second aspect of this teaching the third aspect of the teaching is this that if this person wants to obey and to please God they must divorce their present spouse and their only option is to be reconciled to the one that they divorced now again this is unless the one that they divorced dies death would break it but short of death there is nothing that could break the marital bond of the original marriage and then this is the fourth aspect of the teaching Kay the first aspect is that God never recognizes divorce as giving permission to remarriage if a person does remarry if they're divorced they're always guilty of adultery the third aspect of it is if they want to obey and please God they must divorce the present spouse and then the fourth aspect of it is simply this that if such a one does not divorce the present spouse they are continuing in adultery and they're gonna go to hell again there's people out there who are teaching this there are people who have this oppressive legalistic non biblical system thrust upon them and I'm here in this video to answer these and I want to answer these wrong beliefs by exposing nine wrong things about this so this is gonna take a little bit of while because I want to walk us through nine wrong things that are in today's world being taught about marriage divorce and remarriage nine wrong things here's the first one now again I just want to say that there's a lot wrong in this teaching but along the way I also want to try to explain why there's some people who believe it and what their arguments are for believing it now I believe that these are wrong arguments but I want you to understand it from their perspective from the perspective of the people who are teaching this will do this as we make our way through these nine aspects these nine wrong things going around today in the Christian world having to do with wrong teaching about marriage divorce and remarriage okay ready for this here we go number one it is to believe that the marriage bond can only be broken by death I mean really that's the fundamental teaching that these people have that the marriage bond can only be broken by death now let's say right up front that this is God's ideal that this is God's ideal God's ideal is for a marriage relationship to last as we say in the ceremony this isn't a biblical phrase but it's a phrase we use in in in the Western world and in the english-speaking world for a wedding ceremony we say till death do we part and again that is God's ideal but God does allow for divorce that's a simple teaching that I'm gonna be talking about here God in His Word does allow for divorce so it is wrong to teach that God makes no allowance for divorce and it is also wrong to teach that divorce does not break the marital bond now how do people get this teaching that only death can break the marriage bond well they get it from passages like this first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 39 says this a wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives but if her husband dies she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord now there is no doubt whatsoever that in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 39 Paul makes it clear that death breaks the marital bond we're not doubting that for a second death does break the marital bond there's no doubt about that but we're the wrong teaching comes in is the simple idea that only death can break the marital bond you see what this does is this either ignores or it neglects other passages that tell us other ways that marriage bond can be broken now these are namely the passages that tell us that God does under specific circumstances allow and recognize divorce you see this in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 you see this in Matthew chapter 19 verse 8 you see this teaching in the New Testament that God does recognize divorce under certain circumstances in the New Testament we see that God does recognize divorce under these circumstances what are the circumstances number one and the circumstance of sexual immorality that's detailed in Matthew chapter 19 there are also in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 specifically verse 15 we see the allowance for divorce when a believer is abandoned by an unbelieving spouse so these are clear allowances for divorce now what are brothers or sisters who teach this wrong doctrine have is they have a strange definition of divorce they define divorce as something that does not break the marriage bond and we can confidently say this if God recognizes a divorce if the divorce is based on biblical reasons either sexual immorality according to Matthew chapter 19 verses 7 and 8 or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse according to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verses 12 through 15 if the marriage is divorced on biblical grounds then the marriage bond is broken again we say this with confidence that there's a difference between divorce and separation a couple may separate while still being obligated to their marriage bond but a divorce that is legitimate in God's eyes breaks the marital bond now we strongly a what the Bible teaches that God hates divorce that's in Malachi chapter 2 verse 16 we understand that and we also understand that divorce does not fulfill God's original plan for marriage matthew chapter 19 verses 4 and 5 make it clear that God's original plan for marriage is for one man and one woman to come together in a one flesh relationship and that that lasts a lifetime that is God's plan but in the very same passage in verse 8 of Matthew chapter 19 Jesus explained that divorce is God's concession to the human hardness of heart nevertheless it is God's concession God makes this concession he understands our weakness or hardness our frailty the the fallenness of the human condition and he understands that there are some circumstances in which the marriage cannot endure therefore God gives in these specific situations grounds for divorce and this allowance by the very definition of the idea of divorce breaks the marriage bond when it is done upon the biblical reasons already stated so again I may want to make it clear this first point I think is a pretty important point it just simply says this it is wrong to believe that the marriage bond can only be broken by death now number two it is wrong to teach that every remarriage after a divorce while the divorce partner still lives is adultery again I'll repeat that number two it's wrong to teach that every marriage after a divorce while the divorce partner still lives is adultery now it is certainly true that remarriage after a divorce not made for big Cole reasons can be adultery Jesus said so in Matthew chapter 19 verse 9 in Luke chapter 16 verse 18 and in mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 however the fact that God does recognize divorce on the basis of sexual immorality again according to Matthew chapter 19 verse 8 and on the basis of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse that's first Corinthians chapter 7 verses 12 through 15 it gives the divorced one the right to remarry in the Lord under those circumstances you see I would put it this way God regards a person as either obligated to a marriage bond that's married or not obligated to a marriage bond that's divorced if a divorce is established upon biblical reasons then the divorced person is not obligated to a marriage bond they are single but if the divorce was not established on biblical reasons then it never was a divorce at all in the eyes of God even though the government might have recognized a divorce even though the family might have recognized it by a divorce even though the community might have recognized it a divorce such a so-called divorce is only in the eyes of man and it's not in the eyes of God and the parties involved in a non biblical divorce are obligated to the marriage bond as far as God is concerned God looks down and they says you're married you're not single you're still obligated the marriage bond but again that's in the case of a unbiblical divorce a divorce that happens outside of God's allowance for divorce in the scriptures therefore it's wrong to say that those who are divorced for biblical reasons and who are and remarried are living in a state of adultery and if you would say that they are living in a state of adultery which they are not if they're divorced for biblical reasons then there are people who say that those people are destined for hell now why would they say it well because there's passages like first Corinthians chapter 6 verses 9 and 10 Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 Revelation chapter 21 verses 7 & 8 Hebrews chapter 10 verses 26 through 31 these are passages that speak of adulterers going to hell of course we understand in every one of those verses that I just mentioned to you the idea is of unrepentant adulterers but do you see that's the category that these wrong teachers are putting people in today they say that you must divorce your present Christian spouse and go back to your original spouse whether or not they're a believer or not otherwise you are in a constant state of adultery and if you are in a constant state of adultery you are going to hell brother and sisters I want you to know that is a false teaching that is needless guilt and condemnation to be putting upon our brothers and sisters in Christ it's not according to the scriptures and it's a dangerous and a destructive teaching intentional or not this is a terrible misuse of spiritual authority to declare people condemned to hell who are not going to hell and to declare them guilty and under God's wrath for things that are in fact not sin before God therefore let me say this plainly it is wrong to apply the passages that say adulterers will go to hell to those who have received a divorce recognized by God and then go on to remarry those passages such as first Corinthians chapter 6 verses 9 and 10 Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 Hebrews chapter 10 verses 26 through 31 Revelation chapter 21 verses 7 & 8 it's wrong to reply apply those to those who have married after a biblically permitted divorce now it doesn't end there let me go on now to the third wrong thing that's talked and let me prepare you here this is a long point so hang on there's gonna be a long one but it's wrong to teach that if someone remarries after an unbiblical divorce that their only true repentance is to divorce their current spouse now the reason why this is an important question is because under wrong teaching number one that I discussed and wrong teaching number two that I discussed I was dealing with a biblically permitted divorce that is a divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality or a divorce on the grounds of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse you might say well David not every divorce in the modern world at least divorce in the eyes of man happens under those circumstances what if a believer is divorced under unbiblical grounds and then goes on to remarry are they in sin and I would say this yes they are in sin yes they need to repent of this yes they need to make this right before God but here's the wrong teaching the wrong teaching is that the only repentance they can make is to divorce their present spouse and go back to their original spouse that is not the limit or the definition of repentance in this situation so do you understand what I'm talking about I'm talking about someone who says David I had an unbiblical divorce then I went on to marry somebody else am i guilty of adultery I would say yes you need to repent of this you need to repent of your unbiblical divorce you need to repent of any adultery that occurred afterwards but but understand what repentance would mean in this particular situation now again the case of the person who remarries after divorce on Biblical reasons I've already addressed that yet there are others who have divorced and I that in quotation marks because again this is the divorce in the eyes of man but not a divorce in the eyes of God because it was on unbiblical reasons and they have done that divorce again I would say those people must repent of their sin of adultery and they must repent of their sin of adultery in full confidence of God's promise you want to know God's promise here's God's promise first john chapter 1 verse 9 if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness that is god's promise and we can take great confidence in it you can be cleansed if you are guilty of an unbiblical divorce if you are guilty of sexual immorality that led to that divorce if you are guilty of adultery because of a marriage after an unbiblical divorce you can be forgiven and you can be made clean and white as snow because of the work of Jesus Christ on your behalf that's the good news of the gospel however it is wrong and even destructive to teach that the only valid expression of repentance would be to leave your present spouse and either be reconciled to your originally divorced spouse or to live in celibate singleness until the day you die or the day you're originally divorced spouse dies why is this wrong brothers and sisters this would be trying to correct one sin by the committing of another sin this would be like um stealing from one person to make restitution to another person you're trying to correct one sin by committing another in other words I steal from somebody I need to make restitution to that person I stole from so what do I do I go and steal from another person so that I have the money to make restitution that's doubling the sin it's not repenting of it and it would be like and this is strong language but I mean it this would be like boarding the baby oven pregnancy of an unmarried woman if someone has sex outside of the bond of marriage and becomes pregnant is that a sin yes it's a sin but don't compound the sin by getting an abortion after your on you know unwise pregnancy this would be to ignore the principle that Paul gives in first Corinthians chapter 7 in this whole context of marriage and divorce and singleness he says this first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 24 brethren let each one remain with God in the state in which he was called Paul wrote this principle in the context of the marriage mess that the Corinthians had made and Paul spoke to them by the inspiration of the holy spirit in 1st Corinthians 7 the basic sense is this don't try to unravel the sins and the stains of the past commit unto God where you are called right now and obey him in your present situation so let's say that you were in fact guilty of an unbiblical divorce and let's say you compounded that by marrying afterwards and it was adultery for you to marry that person on the basis or after an unbiblical divorce yes you need to repent of that but how do you repent of it you repent of it by honoring God right now in the marriage bond that you have repenting honestly and with a broken heart before God receiving the forgiveness that your savior is there to offer you in light of the penalty that Jesus paid on the cross because he bore that sin of your of your unpermitted divorce he bore the sin of your subsequent adultery and you can be cleansed of it right now but as Paul says let each one remain with God in that state in which they were called listen this principle was so important to Paul's teaching on marriage and family life that he repeats it three times in first Corinthians chapter seven three times he basically says the same thing first Corinthians chapter seven verse 17 first Corinthians chapter seven verse 20 and first Corinthians chapter seven verse 24 he basically says the same thing listen our sins our failings our weakness our brokenness has made a big huge knotted ball of the past and instead of going back and trying to unravel that ball give it to Jesus and walk right on where you are now that's not to say that there are some situations where repentance might need mean a mat radical change and a breaking of a relationship for example if somebody is in a same-sex relationship that the culture regards as marriage or that they regard as marriage repentance would mean breaking such a relationship and not saying well God says we're supposed to live as we're called no no no but listen understand this that is not a biblical marriage at all it's not the same situation at all but if somebody is in a marriage between a man and a woman not not a same-sex Union that God wouldn't regard as a marriage at all brothers and sisters God says live as you're called honor him in your present relationship therefore it's wrong to apply passages that condemn unrepentant adulterers to hell and say that this applies to people who stay in the marriage I wonder I wonder what these people think of King David in the Old Testament you know King David committed adultery with Bathsheba and then he arranged the murder a bath she's a Jets Eva's husband and then David married Bathsheba I wonder if the people who teach these unbiblical doctrines today about marriage divorce and remarriage I wonder if these people would say hey it's okay David married Bathsheba and that God blessed that marriage with the son that would be an heir to David's throne in the Royal line it's okay because Bathsheba's first husband was dead and therefore she could remarry and David could marry her that's technically true but David arranged the murder of her first husband do these people think that divorce or adultery are worse sins than murder that someone can be forgiven for murder but not for divorce or adultery you know it's kind of like what was said of a particular denomination that declared that in their denominational policy that absolutely they could not have a pastor who was divorced under any circumstances okay so can you imagine that in a denomination they say you absolutely cannot have a pastor who was divorced doesn't matter if he was divorced before he was a believer doesn't matter if the divorce happened purely on biblical grounds it doesn't matter if the the spouse divorced him if his wife divorced him without his consent under no circumstances could you have a pastor who's divorced be in the ministry yet that same denomination would ordain a man as a pastor if he had murdered someone and suitably repented the joke if it could be called a joke the joke was that in that denomination it was safer to murder your wife than it was to divorce her that the pastor could never divorce his wife but he could murder her and still be called into his ministry after a suitable repentance do you see how crazy that is brothers and sisters when we depart from the Bible even when we say our goal is to protect and to promote God's glory we end up in a condition of moral confusion so let's not go there please let's not now at this point and I'm saying this before we go on to number four in our list of long teachings that need to be answered what about Ezra chapter 10 where the Jews who returned to Jerusalem and the surrounding area of Judah they put away their pagan wives under the leadership of Ezra doesn't this show us that it's a godly responsibility to divorce in an ungodly marriage doesn't Azra chapter 10 show this and let me read you these passages now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and those who have been born to them according to the advice of my master and those who tremble at the commandment of a god and let it be done according to the law that's ezra chapter 10 verse 3 so again according to ezra chapter 10 verse 3 they determined to put away their pagan wives to divorce their pagan wives as an act of repentance and then it also says in ezra chapter 10 verse 19 and they gave their promise that they would put away their wives and being guilty they presented a ram of the flock as their trespass offering so again it repeats the idea that they vowed to express their repentance by divorcing their pagan wives and there's some people who say well doesn't this prove that if you really want to repent of an ungodly marriage the only way to repent is by divorcing your pagan or your wife in this situation we'll know let me respond to this first of all I need to point out that this is a singular occurrence in the Old Testament you don't find another occasion like it it's a singular occurrence in the Old Testament now now that doesn't determine everything look if the Bible says something once clearly we believe it and we don't need additional cooperation but it's important to point out this is a singular occurrence in the Old Testament but number two and this is even more important nowhere does it say in Ezra that God commanded this let me repeat that again nowhere does it say in Ezra chapter 10 that God commanded this it says matter of fact in verse three that this was done according to the advice of my master and those who tremble at the commandment of our God in other words it was done not at the commandment of God but out of human wisdom out of human estimation nowhere does it say in Ezra chapter 10 that God commanded this thirdly this was ultimately ineffective about 15 years later they dealt with the same problem in Nehemiah chapter 13 verses 28 through 20 verses 23 through 28 Nehemiah 13 verses 23 through 28 and when they dealt with it about 15 years later in Nehemiah there is no corresponding putting away of the wives none mentioned whatsoever again this was a singular event it was not specifically commanded by God and and this is the biggest reason of all God gives clear and specific instruction on this in the New Testament in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verses 10 through 16 where Paul specifically says that believers who are married to unbelievers are not to seek a divorce after the pattern of what happened in Azra chapter 10 so please let's get this clear in our minds Ezra chapter 10 is not a pattern it wasn't a pattern in the Old Testament it's certainly not a pattern in a New Testament Paul says exactly the opposite in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 I would regard what they did in Azra chapter 10 as well meaning but of man and not of God now sometimes under the best of intentions under the best of hearts we do something that is ultimately a man and not of God and there is no indication in Azra chapter 10 that what they did was commanded by God all right now number 4 I told you number 3 was a long one now we're on number four it is wrong to T that the only obedient option for a divorced person is either to remarry their divorced spouse or live in celibate singleness again let me repeat that number four it's wrong to teach that the only obedient option for a divorced person is either to remarry their divorced spouse or live in celibate singleness now this makes at least two errors first of all I would say this biblical divorce does loose someone from the marriage bond we talked about this before but let me repeat it again and I wouldn't repeat it again based on a verse 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 27 listen to this Paul says are you bound to a wife do not seek to be loosed are you loosed from a wife do not seek a wife in other words Paul being the rabbi that he was taught thought in terms of us being bound to a biblical command or loosed from a biblical command if you are bound to a wife you're not loosed but brother and sisters divorce if it's biblical loses the marriage bond you see this ignores the truth that there is in God's sight such a thing as a permitted divorce that does in fact break the marriage bond and in such cases the divorced person is regarded as single and they made therefore marry but the second thing it ignores is this it ignores the truth that even for the one who is guilty of adultery and or an unjustified divorce they may confess their sin and truly repent of it Wow remaining in their subsequent marriage because divorce in such cases would be hoping to remedy one sin by committing another sin that's the fourth wrong thing here's the fifth wrong thing it's wrong to teach that Luke chapter 16 verse 18 and Mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 cancel out what God says about marriage and divorce in the full counsel of his word now if you've been listening to me so far you've seen I presented my case I think pretty strongly to this point and there may be a few people out there wondering David why does anybody believe any different you seem to make the case pretty clear and I agree that may be the case I've made isn't clear and everybody's mind but there may be some people say David why would anybody believe differently well I'll tell you why they're not crazy when they teach us I think they're misguided but they're not crazy what they're doing is they're using a bad hermeneutic a bad way of understanding the Scriptures they're basing it on passages like Luke chapter 16 verse 18 let me read that passage to you Luke chapter 16 verse 18 it says whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery and by the way Mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 says very much the same thing I show what people say they say look Jesus said this he said if you divorce your wife and marry another you're committing adultery period that's it close the book that's all there is to say about it said and done this is finished if you divorce and then marry another you're committing adultery therefore again in the wrong thinking of these people if you want to repent of it the only way you can repent is to divorce your present spouse and go back to your first marriage now why is it wrong to take Luke chapter 16 verse 18 and the corresponding verses in mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 why is it wrong to take those as saying everything that we need to know about marriage divorce and remarriage this is why it's wrong it takes those verses and pretends that that's the only thing the Bible says about marriage divorce and remarriage if all we had in the Bible and let's just say specifically in the New Testament if all we had in the Bible regarding marriage divorce and remarriage were these passages in Luke chapter 16 and Mark chapter 10 if that's all we had in the Bible then one might be able to say that any and every remarriage after divorce is adultery and the only thing that can break the marriage bond is death however we have many other passages in the New Testament that speak to this issue specifically Matthew chapter 19 verses 3 through 9 teach us that God does recognize divorce on the basis of sexual immorality and first Corinthians chapter 17 verses 12 through 15 teach us that God does recognize divorce in the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse now because of this we don't use passages like Luke chapter 16 verse 18 to cancel out these other passages and if you want to be somebody who rightly divides the word of truth you have to understand how those passages fit together we don't take one verse like Luke chapter 16 verse 18 and use it to cancel out other verses no we understand that when one passage speaks to a topic it does not say everything there is to say about that topic but we need to get the whole counsel of God's Word on that topic now let me give you an example of this principle this principle that we should not use one verse to cancel out other verses but rather we got to collect all of what God says about a topic and synthesize it bring it together in a way that makes sense in James chapter 1 verse 27 it says this ready James 1:27 pure and undefiled religion before God and the father is this to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself from the world because everybody get that James chapter 1 verse 27 says pure and undefiled religion before God and the father is this visit orphans and widows in their trouble and number to keep oneself unspotted from the world now if we took that verse with the same logic with those who say that Luke chapter 16 verse 18 and the corresponding passage in mark chapter 10 if we took the same login logic as the people who say that those verses say that everything there is to say about marriage divorce and remarriage is said in those verses in Luke and Mark then we could teach we could teach based on James chapter 1 verse 27 that the only thing relevant in the Christian religion is helping widows and orphans and purity from the world's corruption not prayer not evangelism not loving others in God's family not preaching God's Word not receiving God's Worth and so forth none of those things have anything to do with the Christian religion because didn't James say this is pure and undefiled religion no but what we understand is that when James says that he's emphasizing the fact that Christians should be visiting orphans and widows in their trouble Christians should have a passion for keeping themselves unspotted from the world however there is more to the Christian life to the Christian religion if you will then those things there's more to it than that there is prayer there is worship there is getting together with other Christians there is studying the Bible there's preaching the Bible there's receiving God's Word there's on and on and on the Christian life is more than those things even though if all you took was James chapter 1 verse 27 you might say that's the only important things in the Christian life but they're not the only important things we don't take James chapter 1 verse 27 as if it canceled out all the other scriptures that talk to us about what the Christian life is about nor do we take those verses in Luke chapter 16 and Mark chapter 10 that speak to us about the fact that if a person has an unbiblical divorce we understand thoroughly that's what Jesus meant in this situation if a person has an unbiblical divorce then when they remarry its adultery and if that's the case that it's something to be repented of we understand that now number six the sixth wrong thing it is wrong to teach that if one is sinned against in marriage by sexual immorality the only godly option for them is to forgive reconcile and remain married now I need to tread very lightly on this point because it is very important to see that in Matthew chapter 19 verses 3 through 9 Jesus does not he does not command the spouse who has been sinned against by sexual immorality in the marriage he does not command the spouse who has been sinned against to divorce the guilty spouse he does not command it and there are many times maybe even we would say most of the time when there can be forgiveness and restoration especially when there is genuine repentance from the guilty spouse we can also say that that kind of repentance that kind of restoration that kind of bringing the marriage back together again that is in general accord with God's hatred of divorce as he describes in Malachi chapter 2 verse 16 it's also in accord with God's forgiving nature in general yes this is the ideal nevertheless the permission that God gave for divorce is real it is a concession to the weakness and frailty of fallen humanity notice the phrase that Jesus used in Matthew chapter 19 he said it's because of the hardness of your hearts but it is a real concession nevertheless to say that God grants a concession but we'll never allow that concession to be used is to twist the Word of God and it is to place an unrighteous and an unbearable burden upon people again I want to make it clear if you are in a marriage and if you have been sinned against by sexual immorality on the part of your spouse I do believe that it's God's greatest could it would it would be the best if your marriage could stay together and be reconciled but but God does give the allowance the concession for divorce if if you you just can't bring yourself if there's a hardness in your heart a hardness in the heart of the person who's sinned against you if those things make the marriage unable to go on God will permit not command but he will permit divorce and it's wrong to say otherwise number seven it is wrong to teach that God does not allow divorce and subsequent remarriage in the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse now this brings us back to first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 15 if all we had in the Bible was what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 19 we might think that the only permission for divorce was sexual immorality but in first Corinthians chapter 7 Paul also clearly gives permission for divorce the dissolving of the marital Union when a believing spouse is abandoned by an unbelieving spouse this is what he says in first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 15 but if the unbeliever departs let him depart a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace now again the principle there is much like the principle of Jesus in Matthew chapter 19 this is a concession to the weakness and the frailty of humanity and the wording of this phrase is not under bondage in such cases again that's from first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 15 the phrasing of it shows that in the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse the believer may in fact be divorced that is they are no longer bound to a marriage covenant this means that if they do accept the divorce initiated by the unbelieving spouse they are no longer bound to the marriage they are regarded as single and they are free to remarry as Paul says in the Lord all right that's point 7 now what's the eighth rung teaching number eight it is wrong to teach or to believe that fornication or sexual immorality as Jesus used the term in Matthew chapter 19 verses 8 and 9 refers only to sexual sin before marriage and not to adultery or unfaithfulness in marriage now this is a place where again I think people are confused and there's some teachers that I respect in general like like a John Piper who teach this but brethren sisters this is wrong this is just not a right dividing of the word of truth here's an example of this statement of the wrong belief and I'm reading from a paper written by some people who believe these wrong things about marriage divorce and remarriage they say there's quote we believe that simply put fornication / sexual immorality are the various sexual sins of an unmarried person and that adultery is the various sexual sins of a married person you see this is the idea that when Jesus gave permission for divorce in Matthew chapter 19 the Jesus did not actually speak to the divorce of a marriage but that Jesus gave permission for the breaking of an engagement now it is true that among many Jews in biblical times engagement was seen as binding and that it needed some kind of a divorce to release someone from the obligation of future marriage but to say that that's what Jesus had in mind in Matthew chapter 19 it neglects the text of Matthew chapter 19 it is in fact a strange and I would even say a bizarre interpretation that ignores the definition of the phrase sexual immorality in the ancient Greek the the Koine Greek of the New Testament that word is pornea in matthew chapter 19 verse 9 and the rest of the New Testament that word is broadly used to refer to sexual sin it includes sexual sin both in marriage and before marriage or outside of marriage pornea in matthew chapter 19 verse 9 and in the rest of the New Testament is not a narrow word referring only to sexual sin before marriage it's a broad word referring to all kinds of sexual sin now again to say that what Jesus meant in Matthew chapter 19 only refers to the breakup of a relationship the divorcing of an engagement not a marriage it ignores what sexual immorality or pornea means in Matthew chapter 19 verse 9 but I'll tell you what else it neglects it neglects the whole context of Matthew chapter 19 the whole context of Matthew chapter 19 was that the religious leaders of Jesus's day brought to him a question that was current in their own religious controversies what was the definition of uncleanness in Deuteronomy chapter 24 of 1 Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 in the law of Moses in the Word of God God gives permission for divorce if a husband finds some uncleanness in his wife now there were some in Jesus's day who defined uncleanness to mean anything in the wife that displeases the husband and you can imagine what would be done with that that literally in Jesus's day there were some rabbis who taught that if a wife burns her husband's breakfast he has the permission divorcer there were some rabbis who taught in Jesus's day that if the wife is no longer as attractive to the husband as a younger woman might be then he has the permission verse that's how they define uncleanness and what they did was they came and they brought to use a question define this term uncleanness for us in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 and Jesus said back from the beginning uncleanness here is sexual immorality Jesus agreed with the rabbi's of his day who can find the idea of uncleanness in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 - sexual immorality he did not agree with the rabbis in his day who gave a very broad meeting to the idea of uncleanness and said that it could be anything that displeases the husband no jesus said it was sexual immorality now this teaching that confines it just to breaking and engagement divorcing an engagement or betrothal of a marriage and not the actual marriage itself it ignores not only the meaning of the term translated sexual immorality but it also ignores the entire context of Matthew chapter 19 when Jesus dealt with this question and then finally number 9 we finally made it to the end of our list it is wrong to regard the teachings or the traditions of men as the law of God or to put a fence around the law for the supposed sake of God's glory now what do I mean by this well meaning brothers do this and it's harmful this is done when the analogy of Christ and the church in the marriage is extended too far or when man's interpretation of the law ignores the bigger picture this is just what the Pharisees did when Jesus rebuked them regarding the sabbath proclaiming as jesus did that man was not made for the sabbath but the sabbath was made for man you'll find that in mark chapter 2 verse 27 you see what the religious leaders did in jesus's day was they ignored the bigger picture of God's Word and what God wanted to do in and through the Sabbath and instead they twisted the scriptures they twisted the application of it more accurately said they extended the law but they said that they were doing it for the glory of God and Jesus said no this is not for the glory of God you are sinning actually when you do this now there are those who deny the scriptural truth that a biblical permitted divorce allows subsequent marriage in the Lord and they do so under the thought that since marriage is an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church that's according to Ephesians chapter 5 verses 29 through 33 and other passages that we must do everything we can to preserve the honor and the purity of marriage now I'll have to say that is a noble goal but not when it denies the clear permissions and concessions that the Bible itself gives for divorce and release from the marriage bond to do this to deny these permissions these concessions that God makes in his word for divorce and in the breaking of the marital bond to deny that is to go beyond the commandment of God it's to take the rules or the traditions of men and to make them equal with the commandments of God and this is dangerous it's always harmful to do even when it is claimed to be done with good intentions and there is no better intention to claim than the glory of God but it doesn't matter if you claim your intention as the glory of God if you go beyond what God has taught if you establish rules and laws for believers that are based on the traditions of man not upon the law of God you're not doing it for the glory of God now this error can be illustrated by the zeal of the religious leaders in the days of Jesus again I want to go back to this idea the religious leaders in their day had the zeal to preserve the Sabbath and its glory and they had ample scriptural basis for Sabbath observance among the Jews under the Old Covenant but they extended those Sabbath laws beyond what was written and when they did that Jesus rebuked them they saw the Sabbath laws as an end in themselves and they forgot that man was not made for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was made for man so to go beyond what is commanded by God or to deny what is permitted by God does not bring glory to God even when it is claimed to be done for the glory of God or for a perceived wonderful motive brother and sisters we need to take care that we remember that marriage was made for man not man for marriage in this sense and so we receive what God teaches when God does give allowance or permission for the dissolving of the marriage bond we can't pretend that he doesn't and when God says that a person can repent of their sin without having add sin in the course of their repentance we believe that and so we take these things as true brothers and sisters there is no denying that marriage is a mess in our wider culture and it's a mess among many believers you could say that both in the wider culture and among many believers the institution of marriage is in a mess but that mess will not be cleaned up by wrongly dividing the word of truth and wrongly applying the word of truth that mess will not be cleaned up by heaping condemnation in this life and sometimes even in the age to come upon those who receive the permissions and the concessions that are granted to them in God's Word this mess will not be cleaned up by exhorting God's people to a strange and unbiblical repentance that actually answers once in with another sin this mess will not be cleaned up by preachers and teachers who in acclaimed zeal for God's glory go beyond what the Scriptures have commanded and they deny what the Scriptures actually permit this mess will begin to be remedied it will begin to be cleaned up when God's people humble themselves when they biblically repent of past sins and when they seek to glorify God right where they are at in regard to what God says about marriage and family I hope that this video is helpful for you I hope that this presentation whether you're just listening to it or whether you're just watching it is helpful in first of all help you to understand and rightly divide what the Bible says about marriage divorce and remarriage but secondly I hope that this rescues a few people I think about this dear woman on the East Coast who again she came to me and her husband who he says he's a Christian I have no reason to think that he's not but he thinks that because of this teaching he has to divorce his Christian wife and leave their several children without a father in the home because he's been taught that's the only way he can repent of something that's not even a sin I think of the people who have legitimately repented of their past sins but they have condemnation heaped upon them and they've even been told that they're going to hell if this video helps some of those people and helps them to rightly divide the word of truth and understand what God teaches about these essential topics then that would make me very happy I know this may be controversial listen if you want to leave comments or ask questions in the comment area go ahead I'll try to get to those questions the best I can but let's keep going in our effort to rightly divide the word of truth and understand the whole counsel of God not letting some verses cancel out other verses but understanding God's truth as it's presented in its entirety the whole counsel of God that's my earnest desire for you and for everybody who receives something from God's Word god bless you in that [Music] you [Music]

Channel: David Guzik

Views: 33,233

Rating: 4.246377 out of 5

Keywords: biblical marriage, marriage, divorce, remarriage, god and divorce, god and remarriage, david guzik, guzik, enduring word, 1 corinthians 7, matthew 19, is divorce biblical?, is remarriage biblical?

Id: h6n5F4L1_QY

Length: 62min 9sec (3729 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 18 2019