Hey, welcome back to UNLEARN. “What does the Bible really say about divorce
and re-marriage?” Are you ready to UNLEARN the lies? I
want you to know that I really appreciate
all of the feedback I received about the last video. Your comments have caused me to dig
deeper into some things, and as a result, I feel that I have a much better grasp on
this topic than before. That is why I deleted the last video, and made this video to replace
it. I understand that this subject is a very sensitive
and emotional topic, therefore, I want to treat this video with as much tenderness and
sensitivity as possible. I also ask that you would be sensitive to others when you post
comments on this video. We do not want to cause any extra burden or pain for those who
have already suffered a divorce. Remember also that Yeshua spoke with kindness and sensitivity
when speaking to the Samaritan woman who had been married and divorced multiple times. Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband,
and come here." The woman answered and said, "I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You
have well said, 'I have no husband,' for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you
now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly." Notice that He did not accuse her of sin,
He did not judge her, and He did not call her an adulteress. We need to keep this in
mind when we are speaking to others who are dealing with divorce and remarriage. We must
always teach others with love and gentleness. The subject of divorce is a very difficult
topic, and anyone who has experienced a divorce knows how devastating it can be. I want to
make this disclaimer up front that I do not encourage anyone to get a divorce. If you
are having difficulty in your marriage, please seek counseling, try to find reconciliation,
and do whatever you can to repair the brokenness in your relationship. The Bible tells us that
God hates divorce. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He
hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the Lord of hosts. "Therefore
take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." Divorce is a violent act. Divorce tears apart
two people that God has made into one. This is why Yeshua said, "Have you not read that He who made them at
the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man separate." - Matthew 19:4-6 This is why divorce is so devastating and
painful to everyone involved, and why we should try to avoid divorce at all costs. However,
some people have already experienced a divorce, and some people will suffer a divorce even
if they don’t want one. Therefore, we need to see what the Bible says about it. I want to look at the Torah first, because
it lays the foundation for the conversations that Yeshua and Paul give us in the New Testament. "When a man takes a wife and marries her,
and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness
in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her
out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man's
wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts
it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her
as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife
after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall
not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” This passage is addressing a situation in
which a man decides to divorce his wife, and he is instructed to write her a certificate
of divorce (a sepher kerithuth in Hebrew). Listen to what the International Standard
Bible Encyclopedia has to say about this. “This expression, found in Deuteronomy 24:1,
Deuteronomy 24:3; Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:8 is the translation of the Hebrew, ṣēpher
kerı̄thuth. The two words, literally rendered, signify a document or book of cutting off,
i.e. a certificate of divorce given by a husband to a wife, so as to afford her the opportunity
or privilege of marrying another man.” The purpose of the divorce certificate was
to favor the wife and allow her the ability to marry another man. The passage in Deuteronomy
24 even provides us with the example of the woman marrying another man. Notice that it
is not a problem for the divorced woman to marry again. However, if her second marriage
comes to an end, she cannot remarry the first husband. Here is a commentary on this subject from
the Jewish Encyclopedia. “After the parties had been divorced, the
law favored their remarriage. But if the wife had married another man after her divorce,
she could never be remarried to her first husband.” There has been a long history of debate about
the topic of divorce. In fact, before the time of Yeshua, there was a disagreement between
the schools of Hillel and Shammai about if a man can divorce his wife for any reason. “In the Mishnaic period the theory of the
law that the husband could divorce his wife at will was challenged by the school of Shammai.
It interpreted the text of Deuteronomy 24:1 in such a manner as to reach the conclusion
that the husband could not divorce his wife except for cause, and that the cause must
be sexual immorality. The school of Hillel, however, held that the husband need not assign
any reason whatever that any act on her part which displeased him entitled him to give
her a bill of divorce. The opinion of the school of Hillel prevailed.” This is why the Pharisees questioned Yeshua
about this topic. They were trying to find out where He stood on the subject of divorce.
The popular view of the pharisees was in agreement with Hillel, that a man could divorce his
wife for just about any reason, and they wanted to see if Yeshua agreed with their interpretation
or not. “The Pharisees also came to Him, testing
Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to send away his wife for just any reason?"
And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning
'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they
are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man
separate." They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce,
and to send her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted
you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever sends
away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and
whoever marries her who is sent away commits adultery.” So, we see that the pharisees wanted to know
if Yeshua would take the side of Hillel or Shammai. However, He took a different stance
on the topic than they expected, appealing to lifelong marriage as the standard and goal,
not divorce. He explained that God does not wish for divorce to happen at all, and that
from the beginning, “God created them male and female… and the two shall become one
flesh”. This answer did not satisfy the Pharisees
question, so they pressed the matter, asking Him why the Torah allows for divorce. This
time He explained that divorce is allowed “because of the hardness of your hearts”.
This could be seen as a jab at the pharisees hard hearted desire to seek a reason to divorce. However, what He said next is where this subject
starts to get a bit confusing. He made a statement that seems to agree with Shammai, saying,
“whoever sends away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery; and whoever marries her who is sent away commits adultery.” Which is very similar
to what He taught in the Sermon on the Mount, saying, ”Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever
divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever
sends away his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery;
and whoever marries a woman who is sent away commits adultery.” So, the question that I have been wrestling
with is why does He say that the woman commits adultery if she is divorced for any other
reason except sexual immorality? If she has done nothing wrong, but her husband divorces
her, why is she called an adulteress? This seems to be a very unfair treatment for someone
who is the victim of an unjust divorce. Remember that the Pharisees taught that a
man could divorce his wife for any reason. They might not like her cooking, or she might
have put on a few too many pounds, or gotten a bad haircut. It didn’t matter what the
reason was to the pharisees, because they simply said that if the woman no longer finds
favor in the husbands eyes, he can divorce her. However, Yeshua explains that sexual immorality
is the only justifiable reason for divorce. So, if the man divorces his wife for any other
reason, why is she called an adulteress? If the woman is innocent, and has not done anything
immoral, yet the man divorces her anyway, why would she called an adulteress? This question
has been troubling me for a long time, which is why I wanted to study this topic more in-depth. There are three main theories concerning divorce
and remarriage. The first theory, says that divorce is never
valid and that marriage only ends in death (not divorce), therefore she cannot get remarried
without being a adulteress. This is commonly taught in many Churches, and is usually connected
to what Paul said about death ending the marriage. “Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak
to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For
the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But
if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while
her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her
husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has
married another man.” However, if death is the only Biblical way
to end a marriage, why does the Torah make provision for divorce? The second theory says that divorce is only
valid if there is sexual immorality,therefore divorce for any other reason is not valid,
and remarriage is not allowed because it would be adultery. This theory is very popular among
conservative christians, because it discourages most types of divorce, but allows for it in
certain circumstances. The third theory addresses the matter of legality,
and is based on the specific language that is being used in these passages. There are
two very different Greek words used here. The first word is “apoloo” in Greek, which
means “to send away, dismiss, release, let go, depart, or get rid of”, and corresponds
to the Hebrew word “shalach” used in Deuteronomy 24, also translated “send away”. The second word is “apostasion” means
“a bill of divorce”, and refers to a legal document given to validate the divorce. It
corresponds with the Hebrew phrase “sepher kerithuth” used in Deuteronomy 24, which
is translated as “certificate of divorce”. It is very clear that Yeshua is referencing
what the Torah says concerning divorce and remarriage. So, lets look at Deuteronomy 24
again to compare it with what Yeshua is saying. "When a man takes a wife and marries her,
and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness
in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce [sepher kerithuth], puts it in her
hand, and sends her out [shalach] of his house, when she has departed from his house, and
goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her
a certificate of divorce [sepher kerithuth], puts it in her hand, and sends her out [shalach]
of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former
husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled;
for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which
the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” The Torah uses these two distinct phrases
in the same way that Yeshua did. The man is to write a certificate of divorce (sepher
kerithuth) and send her away (shalach). Notice that the Torah does not forbid the
woman from taking a second husband after her divorce. However, she is forbidden from marrying
her first husband after taking a second. Notice also that the Torah allows for both
divorce and death as the end of the marriage. Was Yeshua disagreeing with the Torah in saying
that after a divorce you can never get remarried? I do not believe that Yeshua ever taught anything
different or contrary to the Torah. Therefore, I believe He was addressing a different issue
altogether. In Jewish culture, when a husband refuses
to issue a certificate of divorce, the woman cannot remarry and is referred to as “Agunah”,
which means "anchored" or "chained”. This is a halachic term for a Jewish woman who
is "chained" to her marriage. Another example of this is when a man takes a journey and
has not returned, or has gone into battle and is missing in action. The woman does not
know if he is dead or alive, so she is stuck waiting, unable to remarry because she does
not know if her husband will return or not. For a divorce to be effective, the Torah requires
that a man grant his wife a certificate of divorce. Without this certificate, no new
marriage will be recognized. Because of the serious nature of adultery, an agunah is forbidden
to marry another man, regardless of the circumstances that left her an agunah in the first place,
and any child she might have with another man would be considered an illegitimate child. Is it possible that this was the situation
Yeshua was addressing? Was He saying that if you send away your wife, you must giver
her a certificate of divorce, otherwise you are causing her to commit adultery? Without
the certificate of divorce, she is still legally married, so she cannot marry another without
committing adultery. Listen to what the Holman Bible Dictionary
says on this subject. “[Divorce is] the legal ending of a marriage.
From early time provision was made for divorce among the Israelites. Presumably prior to
this decree, a wife could be put out of the home at the pleasure of the husband. Now he
was required to write out “a bill of divorce” and give it to his wife as proof that he was
divorcing her. This gave some dignity and protection to the divorced woman… Among
the Jews, only the husband had the right to secure a divorce. The wife might leave her
husband, but she could not divorce him.” Did you catch that? At that time in history,
a Jewish wife was not allowed to divorce her husband. She could leave him, but she could
not divorce him. This helps us better understand the statement in Mark 10:12 which says, “So He said to them, "Whoever sends away
his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman sends away her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Since a woman could not divorce her husband,
we can conclude that Yeshua was not talking about divorce, but separation. The act of
sending away does not constitute a divorce. This means if you are separated from your
husband or wife, and you have sex with another person, you are committing adultery, because
you are not legally divorced. “Whoever puts away his wife and marries
another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away from her husband commits
adultery.” The Torah gives permission for divorce because
of sexual immorality, and allows the woman to get remarried, if she has been given a
certificate of divorce. However, if there is no certificate, then the instructions about
divorce in the Torah are not being followed correctly. So, which theory do you think is most accurate?
Theory 1, which says divorce is never a valid end to marriage, therefore all remarriage
is adultery. Theory 2, which says that only sexual immorality
is a valid reason for divorce. Or Theory 3, which says that Yeshua was addressing
a matter of legality, and that if you have good reason for divorce, you must give her
a certificate, or else the divorce is not valid, and remarriage is adultery. Let me know what you think in the comments
below. I hope this teaching has helped to clear up
some of the confusion on the subject of divorce and remarriage. Thanks for watching this video.
Post your questions and comments below. If you liked this video, give it a thumbs
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