Divorce, Remarriage, & Adultery | What Does the Bible Say?

yeah Romans were in the book of Romans in Romans chapter 7 verses 1 to 3 it talks about a husband being married to a wife for a lifetime and an adulteress and so what I want to do is kind of step aside for those things to make a lot of sense to us we need to understand what the Bible teaches on those matters to understand anything about the Bible you have to get the whole picture you can't take any verse and just take it and ignore the rest so every verse has to line up with other verses so if you're going to understand a topic like this one tonight you got to take a word and look up every time it's used in the whole Bible and see what it says about it and how it's used so that's a little bit about what I've done for you to not and so let's get going some people interpret the Bible and I'm going to read this whole thing okay so whenever I do something I think is super important that requires real careful accuracy of words I do this hopefully I'll read it well I promise you it's going to be fascinating material some people interpret the Bible with a blind dedication to certain buzzwords for example some see the word predestined and immediately define it to mean that God picks some for salvation and not others the Greek word simply means to draw a line around something you have to pay close attention to the context of what the rest of scripture says to accurately translate the word in Romans 8:29 for example it has absolutely nothing to do with God picking anybody for salvation some see the word grace and immediately think that it means that we are saved no matter what we do or how we live now Jesus never used the word and he talked about our lifestyles proving who we really are he said in Matthew 7:21 that we would not go to heaven unless we did his will Paul gave us the word grace and also gives us lists in first Corinthians 6 9 to 10 and Galatians 5:19 to 21 saying that anyone living these ways will not go to heaven so whatever grace means it doesn't mean you can live as you please and still be right with God and make it to heaven it doesn't mean that and we overlay current meaning of words today on scriptures written 2,000 3,000 years ago some see the word wine in scripture for example and they assume that it equates to any alcoholic beverage on the Shelf or tap today beer wine Jack Daniels hundred proof etc according to a study done by the Hebrew University in Jerusalem it does not at all strong drink is to in Scripture was only used and allowed as a narcotic it was the kind of drape that Jesus refused while he was on the cross in Matthew 27 34 the point is that we overlay our current opinions on Scripture sometimes we believe what we've been told sometimes we believe what we want to believe some church people see the words divorce and adultery and somehow have concluded that these are not unpardonable sins but almost it's funny but I've discovered over the years that people will fight the most about things they don't really understand they know what 1 or 2 verses say but have read the rest their Bibles and these people usually want to black in white world where everything is either right or wrong I should know I was that person as I've experienced life know God's Word better and knowing God himself better I discovered that the world is full of a lot more grade than I originally thought or wished it was if you open your eyes you'll see it best in the life of Jesus himself for giving a woman with a sordid history and another cult in adultery having dinner with a crooked tax collector being labeled a friend of sinners Jesus rebuked people who were convinced they were righteous not the people who we would consider to be the sinners honestly sometimes I think it's really about the greatest question of all it's the question the disciples kept asking that's the one that a lot of people are asking all the time today just not out loud and that question is which of us is the greatest our sin our sins our inconsistencies our issues are minor yours are major we always think the speck is in IRI and the beam is in the other person's eye if you've done that and I haven't done that then I must be better than you with that in mind let's talk about divorce remarriage and adultery what the Bible actually teaches divorce remarriage in adultery some Christians treat each as almost unpardonable sins and others act as if neither of them is a big concern people on both sides of this issue are very emotional about their positions in most cases neither has ever done a serious study of what the Bible actually says on the subject if they are married and have not been touched by the divorce experience of someone they love people tend to assume that divorce occurs because people who divorced aren't as committed to God and their marriage as they the still married couples are if they are divorced they used to have a very different perspective what does the Bible really teach randy Alcorn he wrote the book on heaven is written a bunch of fabulous books randy Alcorn asks the question if the Bible teaches it shouldn't I as a believer believe it whether I like it or not will say that again if the Bible teaches it shouldn't I as a believer believe it whether I like it or not sometimes what the Bible really says can be inconvenient to what we might want to believe all Christians would hopefully agree that God's plan will and best is for one man today to marry one woman and remain together until death do they part which is not biblical language but catches the spirit of Mark 10-9 that says what therefore God's joined together let no man separate the biblical bond model is best for the couple themselves the children the in-laws the friends and the church a couple working out their problems is staying together is the best thing relationally financially socially emotionally and spiritually sadly though God's will is not always quote done on earth as it is in heaven Matthew 6:10 Rick Lawrence says that God's will is seldom done on earth as it is in heaven sinners marry sinners and things don't always work out as they'd hoped dreams get dashed hearts get broken people get hurt this has been true at least from the days of Moses and is true to this day studies show that people in churches divorced at the same rate as those who are unchurched divorce is not new or unusual in the church it's just never talked about if it is talked about it's usually just condemned John was not jesus was not only full of truth what we should do he was also justice full of grace his kindness when we don't do what we should do pastors like myself almost never preached the whole Council of God as Paul calls it on the matter of divorce because we have so invested ourselves in saving marriages the last thing we want to do is encourage anyone to give up on their marriage so we never mention anything any other options except sticking it out I have a long overdue admiration for believers who have divorced and remarried or remain single who have stayed in church especially in the church they divorced in more often than not they're seen and treated as some sort of second-class Christians they feel and sometimes are judged on a regular basis by people who have no real idea about what these people endured while they were married and escaped when they divorced many of them endured for years what the person judging them might not have stayed in for even months in most cases divorced Christians restarted in another church that doesn't know or care about their story is glad to have them and does not judge them for their divorce church signs often say everyone welcomed but divorce Christians are painfully aware of that in many churches some are more welcome than others the church is supposed to be a place of forgiveness and second or more chances this is usually true the next church but not so much in the church where a couple divorced the Bible gives surprisingly little attention to the topic below are essentially all the passages that deal with divorce remarriage and adultery the few others that are not mentioned only illustrate these and add no other truth to these listed you can review those passages by looking up the words in the concordance you can look it up every passage seriously we begin with the Old Testament verses that assume more than declare that Moses permitted divorce it is spoken of as a matter of fact Jesus in Matthew 19 8 and Mark 10 4 declares that Moses had permitted divorce in the Old Testament there's no attempt to defend the permission to divorce only to clarify some unique situations after each passage will be a restatement of what that passage says and doesn't say you'll recall that in biblical times old and new Testament it was a man's world these verses almost always reference the man's point of view in one case it'll talk about a woman divorcing a man in every other case it's a man the divorce of the woman there are three Hebrew words that are translated divorce in the Old Testament and significant how they differ the first word is de rash and is usually used to speak of a woman that has been quote cast out expelled or put away my Hebrew definitions are coming out of a theological word book of the Old Testament so there's de rash cast out expelled for the way it's always used of a woman and it's always used in the past tense she is divorced cast out expelled put away a priest could not marry a divorced woman a gay rash cast out expelled put away Leviticus 21 7 and 14 of zekiel 44 22 since we are told that a priest could not marry a divorced woman then apparently other Jews could marry divorced women if no one committed divorce woman then there's no need to point there's no neater point and telling us that a priest could not the second word is Kay rish and means to cut off it's always used with a certificate or ripped WRI T of divorce Deuteronomy 24:1 and three Isaiah 51 Jeremiah 3:8 the certificate apparently cuts off or ends the marriage covenant this gave the woman the freedom the and the ability to move on with her life it's what we would technically called a legal divorce so she gets the certificate she can move on it's possible maybe likely that a priest could marry a woman who had a certificate of divorce Kay rish we only told that they cannot marry a woman who has was cast out gay rash again if you believe in the inerrancy of Scripture these more different words matter they matter a lot just than that if it all meant the same thing God would have used the same word every time he doesn't the last word is Shayla and means to send away or let go this word refers to the throwing out of a wife with no surrett certificate of divorce which essentially devastates her socially and financially the sending away was far worse than the divorce with a certificate it's what Malachi condemns in Malachi 2:16 I hate divorce I hate gay rash or as Shayla the sending away without what without what we would today call a legal divorce no certificate Malachi calls it dealing treacherously this is essentially what Abraham did with Hagar in just as 21 9 to 19 when he threw her out and he and threw her out and where she expected to die but was miraculously saved by the Lord who found her in the desert where she was waiting to die with her son Ishmael it is significant to remember that Mary was betrothed a form of engagement to Joseph when Joseph found her with pregnant before the visit from the angel he sought to send her away privately Matthew chapter 1 4 is 18 to 19 some consider Matthew 5:32 and nineteen nine to be exception clauses that give the only times that divorce is biblically okay the Old Testament gives two exception clauses only these two give the only occasions when a man may never put his wife away Shailja Deuteronomy 22 11 to 19 and this passage a man marries the girl then accuses her of not being a virgin her parents bring evidence that she is indeed a version it doesn't explain what evidence they bring the accusing husband must paid the girl's father 100 shekels of silver and he can never put her away Shailja he can never send her away a husband who falsely accuses his wife of not being a virgin when they married and is proven to be wrong can never put away his wife the law just assumes that he can't divorce her for other reasons but not in this case Deuteronomy 22 28 to 29 and this passage demand forces a girl to have sex with him then he must marry her pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver and he can never put her away a man who forces himself on a woman must marry her he can never put her way the law again assumes that he can divorce her for other reasons but not in this case Deuteronomy 24:1 2:4 when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes never again all this is from a man's point of view he finds no favor in her eyes because it's a man's world she didn't have many she didn't have much say when a man takes a wife and marries her it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house and she leaves the house and goes him becomes another man's wife which he could with a certificate of divorce and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her certificate of divorce second divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife did her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife since she has been to file for that is an abomination before the Lord and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance verse 1 again affirms the cutting off K rish that's the word there took place in a matter-of-fact way that's their certificate of divorce the husband finds something in his wife that he doesn't like in divorces her divorce is not condemned criticized or even questioned it's only mentioned verses 2 to 4 states that if the woman makes another person after their divorce then that then the man can never remarry her in the future the fact that he can never remember the mentioned begin in Jeremiah chapter 3 verse 1 and notice that these passages are all about the man divorcing the woman not the woman divorcing the man again some refer to Matthew 5:32 in nineteen nine as the exception clause the Old Testament has two exception clauses Deuteronomy 22 13 to 19 and then 8 28 to 29 the exceptions here though are not about when divorce is allowed or art or not about when divorce is allowed but when a man is never allowed to put away or cut off his wife there's no list of when divorces allowed just two mentions of when it is not allowed now again if it's not allowed anytime there's no reason to say it's not allowed under these circumstances Jeremiah 3:8 this is God speaking and I solved that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel I had sent her away and given her a rip of divorce yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear but she went and was a harlot also here God uses the metaphor that he has divorced K resh Israel God does not used to put away word which is always condemned to but the cut off word God himself cut divorced Israel ended the covenant if God has no tolerance for our grants no permission for divorce then why did God himself choose to divorce Israel and we'll let you think about that for me if God has no tolerance for or grants no permission for divorce then why did he himself choose to divorce Israel and that's his words right that's just words it's also significant to know that God did not exalt the marriage covenant above all else in Ezra 10 1 2 5 and 10 to 11 God told his people to put quote put away all the foreign wives and their children chapter 10 verse 3 and to separate themselves from them chapter 10 verse 11 God instructed the Jews to divorce their wives their foreign women put him away in Nehemiah chapter 13 verses 23 to 30 nehemiah purified the people by having them do the same thing and both of these situations God dictated the separation of husbands and wives and their children now under grace God allows unbelievers to remain with believe amazed 1st Corinthians 7:10 to 16 malachi tuesday overseas 14 to 16 the Lord has been a witness between you and the life of your youth now notice here God is rebuking men the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt treacherously though she is your companion and your wife by covenant take heed then to your spirit and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth for I hate divorce this divorce is the sending away no legal divorce just casting out your out of here so you go out no social financial any kind of rice bra hate divorce says the Lord God of Israel and him who covers his garment with wrong says the Lord of hosts so take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously so he's rebuking these men for sent them away the context here's men divorcing their wife and not taking care of them dealing treacherously and world where men had all the power God was rebuking men who mistreat their wives not vice-versa God hates the sending away Shayla that's the word and the doing of wrong in a marriage nowhere in scripture doesn't say that God hates divorce people he hates divorce because it hurts people that he loves now to the New Testament as you consider the New Testament verses there's also one more than one word being translated divorce one word is at the lumo which means to let loose from to let go free these are definitions have the critical lexicon and concordance of the Greek in English New Testament the other is at paw station and means defection desertion or departure from the word apostasy which means the falling away from the faith is a part of that word apostasia at the lulo seems to fit the sending away of the Old Testament and at bus stations are cutting off or ending the Covenant as you see in this first passage so Matthew 5:11 2:30 2:30 12 31 to 32 it was said whoever since his wife away at Ballou sends her way let him give her a certificate of divorce at the station the cutting off desertion I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife at Ballou o sends her away and again when he sends your way there's not necessarily a writ of divorce the certificate everyone who divorced his wife sends her wake except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery so verse 31 quotes Deuteronomy 24:1 Jesus said that if a man ends the covenant with his wife for some reason other than her unfaithfulness the Greek word porneia translated here unchastity he makes her commit adultery if a man marries divorced woman he commits adultery Jesus does not say here that divorce itself is adultery adultery is committed in remarriage or being with another person sexually after the divorce Matthew 19 verses 3 to 10 some Pharisees came to Jesus tested him and asking is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all which men would do and he answered and says have you not read that he craved them from the beginning made them male and female and said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh what therefore God has joined together let no man separate again at this point what's he doing he's rebuking the men for what they're doing and they said to him why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce at bus station that's the word they're cutting off and send her away at Ballou Oh sends away he said to them because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce the hair he changes the word use this at Ballou Oh again sends her away your wives but from the beginning it has not been this way and I say to you whoever divorces at the lumo notice Jesus always when he's speaking uses this a fluo word he uses the other word when he quotes the Old Testament and talks about certificate of divorce I say to you that whoever divorces sends away his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery and the disciples said to him if the relationship of man with his wife is like this it's better not to marry him when asked about divorce Jesus went back to God's original plan just as 1 and 2 the Pharisees quote the law given by Moses Jesus states that it was never supposed to be that way but Moses permitted divorce because people are sinners who mess up and don't always get God's will right the hardness of their hearts here Jesus says that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except for immorality Greek word porneia which again is an Briella word for for any kind of immorality and marries someone else that he commits adultery the disciples recognize the serious of marriage and thought that maybe it was better not to marry sidebar Paul encouraged widows and the unmarried to remain single first corinthians 7 day but he said that it was better to marry than to live in immorality chapter 7 verse 2 and chapter 7 verse 9 right after verse 8 he goes right back and says but a lot better to go ahead and remarry that is to live in a morality this same teaching moment we just read about in Matthews record in mark 10 11 to 12 and Jesus said to them whoever divorces at Ballou Oh sends away his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she if she herself divorces this whole time it mentions the woman doing it at Ballou Oh sends away her husband and marries another man she's committing adultery here mark tells us that adultery that the adultery that the man commits when he remarries is committed against her his former wife if she divorces him and remarriage then she is committing adultery again the adultery recur occurs because of remarriage not divorced of real significance also is the fact that Jesus never used a fall station the cutting off desertion but always used a pallulah send away this is what Malachi that condemned when he said I hate divorce in the dealing treacherously if we believe in the inerrancy of the Bible then we believe that every word was inspired and was the precise word God wanted in it in the Old Testament different words excuse me were used because they spoke of two different things descending away in the cutting off ending the Covenant legal divorce Jesus used a different word for a reason was that reason because Jesus was talking about the sending away and not the legal divorce the cutting off the word attached to the certificate of divorce in Matthew 5 31 and 19 7 was all was used in the Old Testament quotation the best understanding of what Jesus said as it was never talking about legal divorce at all since he never used the word attached to the certificate Jesus was using the word at Ballou bow to send away to throw out it seems to indicate he was talking about abandoning their life without any kind of legal closure for her in this case either of them remarried they would commit adultery because they were still legally married to each other in our day it would be polygamy does it make sense he sends his wife away there's no legal divorce so technically still married so if he pre-meds or see remarriage they've committed polygamy first Corinthians 7 2 to 3 because of immorality each man is to have his own wife and each woman is to have her own husband the husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband in verse 2 Paul teaches that's better to marry than to live in immorality as Paul states in verses 8 to 9 and 32 to 35 he believes God's best is being single but everyone doesn't do God's best and it's better to marry verse 2 and 9 then to live in immorality if God's best being single isn't done that it's better to marry or remarry than to live in immorality in verse 3 he requires husbands and wives says they must they have an obligation fulfilled their duty to their spouses 1st Corinthians 7 8 to 9 but I say to the unmarried and to widows that is good for them if they remain even as I because Paul was single but if they do not have self-control let them marry for it's better to marry than to burn with passion here Paul encourages singleness but concludes as you did in verse 3 that's better to marry than it is to live in a morality 1st Corinthians 7:10 to 16 but to the married I give instructions not i but the Lord that the wife should not leave her husband but she does leave she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and that the husband should not divorce his wife but to the rest not the Lord that if any brother has a wife who's an unbeliever who could she consist to live with him he was not divorced her and a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consistently with her she must not send her husband away but the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband for otherwise your children are unclean but now they are wholly stopped there it doesn't mean they are saved because we know from Scripture you you're not saved because you're made somebody who saved so what he's talking about sanctify he's talking about something else yet if the unbelieving one leaves let him leave the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace for how do you know a wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know what husband whether you will save your wife here Paul restates God's original and best plan a couples to stay together if they divorce they should remain single or be reconciled to their husband and wife after saying that they should remain together verse 10 Paul immediately acknowledges verse 11 that this will not always happen and encourages singleness or reconciliation so he said acknowledging divorce will take place if an unbelieving spouse is willing to stay married then the believer should remain married to that person in hopes of his or her life influencing the unbelieving mate and their children for the Lord if the unbeliever leaves the believers not under bondage in such cases this appears to indicate that the believer can remarry without adultery being committed and it could just mean that he is not under bondage to remain married to that person just says he's not under bondage so we don't know exactly what that means it is significant to notice the problem if Matthew 5:32 and 19-9 are taken to mean that that unfaithfulness is the only exception that permits divorce or remarriage if so then Paul's allowance for remarriage in 1st Corinthians 7 contradicts Jesus so-called exception in the Matthew verses a man cannot divorce his wife except if she's committed adultery unchastity or immorality so if that's the only exception which it seems if you take those words literally then Paul now is contradicting Jesus and Jesus is contradicting Paul if that's the only exception because jesus said one except that's one he didn't say one of many exceptions he said except if so then Paul's allowance for remarriage in 1st Corinthians 7 contradicts Jesus so-called exception in Matthew in the Matthew verses if you hold to the exception clause idea as the only reason for divorce then jesus said that there was one not two and then Paul added another abandonment this is forces you to decide if you think Jesus or Paul was wrong nope Paul being a Jewish man was likely married at one time his wife could have died she could have abandoned him when he came to Christ it's possible he was divorced he never referred to himself as an elder and he said it's in first Timothy 3:2 in Titus 1 6 that elder was to be the husband of one wife and so he never refers to himself as an elder Exodus chapter 20 verse 14 you shall not commit adultery in this passage adultery is condemned but not defined the Hebrew word here is nap and means to have sexual intercourse with the wife or betrothed of another man again theological word book the Old Testament Leviticus 20 verse 10 if there's a man who commits adultery with another man's wife the one who commits adultery with his friend's wife the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death Moses here defines adultery as a married person who has sex with someone to whom he or she is not married the penalty was not divorced the penalty was death the book of Hosea is a metaphor about Hosea who is a picture of God who marries a harlot named Gomer who represents Israel Goldbergs adultery is a picture of Israel's idolatry and unfaithfulness which is referred to in the patent in his book as adultery Hosea is to win her back to himself as God was seeking to win Israel back to himself God did not could not sense it roll Israel had a choice when Israel back he could not fix the marriage gender Stan what just said God couldn't fix the marriage with him in Israel in master of the Covenant he brought God himself breaks the covenant he divorces Israel Matthew 5:27 28 you have heard that it was said you should not commit adultery I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart now here Jesus defines adultery as looking at a person that you're not married to and having lustful desires in this case it has nothing to do with marriage divorce or even physical sexual activity it's just looking and fantasizing or desire Luke 16:18 everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and he marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery here Jesus says that it is adultery to divorce and remarry or to marry someone who is divorced again adultery is tied to remarriage not divorce and there's no conditions such as immorality mentioned here now I want to give you a definition of adultery this is my definition now they now illustrate it why I have it this way adultery is anything that violates God's perfect plan of one man and one woman for life now why do I believe that number one it's adultery to have lustful thoughts towards someone to whom you're not married you don't do anything physically unfaithful you're not with that person but you have emotionally violated God's 1 for life plan number two it's adultery to be sexually involved with someone with whom to whom you're not married this is stated to be true of extramarital sex we assume it also would include premarital sex or post-divorce sex that's adultery number three adultery to remarry if you were divorced not widowed widows were permitted to remarry without committing adultery first Corinthians 7 39 and number four it's adultery to marry someone who's been divorced so you divorced and remarried that's adultery if you'd have married someone who's divorced then then you commit adultery doing that you tracking them on me now go back to number one I need to say this to make sure if you're a man here and you have until testosterone level above one you've lusted before okay that makes you an adulterer you've committed adultery and I'm gonna guess some of you women not nearly as much as men because frankly we must look at but I'm gonna guess you've had such a desire once in your life okay so I'm going to guess that they're by this roots committed adultery at least once if you haven't you might send me a letter and tell me okay and now think you're a liar but anyways I committed I lusted once I was 14 and I remember enough but never again I'm being facetious okay so here's the adultery summary adultery seems to be any deviation from one man and one woman being committed to and exclusive with each other for life anything that's not that is adultery to look with lust to be with someone else to dissolve the possibility of the two ever being together again by remarry all fall under the umbrella of adultery in addition to extramarital sex premarital sex post-divorce sex homosexual sex bestiality would also appear to be forms of adultery now here's some exceptions in adultery number one and this is all this will be in your outline these pieces here in the outline if a person's mate has been with another person sexually that person has what has been called biblical grounds to remarry without committing adultery number two if an unbelieving mate leaves the believer it seems that the believer can remarry without committing adultery we assume this to be the meaning of the no longer under bondage number three if the two become one flesh then that bond whatever it is is not dissolved with the divorce certificate if this is so then immorality competed by spouse after the divorce outside of the marriage or in remarriage is no different in God's eyes than if it had been committed during the marriage does the divorce undo the couple being one flesh did that make sense you understand the thinking there if we are one flesh if that's what God says happens to us in marriage then how can we earn one but beyond one flesh and so if someone is divorced and then their mate is unfaithful or they remarry and obviously you're unfaithful in that percent are you not still supposedly one flesh in God's eyes and again we got to say with one place what exactly does that mean the faithful husband or wife would then be able to remarry on the basis of matthew 19:9 / the Old Testament laws the person who had sex outside of marriage would not be divorced but rather executed Leviticus 20 verse 10 the man and woman becoming one flesh is not defined or explained in Scripture only declared many of us soon that becoming one flesh occurs when the couple has sex if this is true then the person is one flesh with anyone and everyone he or she has been sexually active with if that's what that means it's possible that the one flesh might better be understood that in a couple's children they become one flesh biology bears this out again we don't know exactly what constitutes becoming one flesh we can only speculate here's a special note scripture does not call divorce adultery never does adultery occurs when the divorce person remarries so does the Bible permit divorce the Old Testament passages mention mentioned divorce as a matter of fact Jesus acknowledges that the giving of a certificate of divorce was permitted by Moses Jesus does not void or receive the permission that Moses gave or allowed that allowed the divorce he only states that this was not God's original plan and therefore is not God's best god gave us his law through Moses in the book of Genesis Exodus Leviticus numbers and Deuteronomy first five books the Bible all of those books were inspired by the holy spirit and accurate down to the smallest letter and stroke of a pen according to Jesus Matthew 5:17 to 19 if Jesus had stated or implied that Moses allowing divorce was wrong and not permissible in God's will then he would have undermined if not rejected the inspiration authority and accuracy of the first five books of the Bible all God breathed and penned by Moses did you understand what I just said if Jesus had said Moses was wrong then you need to tear the first five books your Bible out Jesus didn't say that Jesus said that the whole law would be fulfilled down to the jot and tittle he's talking about those books that permitted what Moses permitted you understand that that's a huge deal Jesus did not disallow divorce he made it clear that it was never God's intention for couples to divorce Jesus does though add clarity to how God's best is cancelled by unfaithfulness divorce and remarriage we are told to pray for God's will to be done on earth as isn't heaven because this will his will is not done on earth is not often done on earth we live in an imperfect world we're imperfect people marry and sometimes end up in unbearable in their minds or actually marriages Corinthian says that husbands and wives must fulfill their duty to each other sometimes they don't they've just heard of a horrific example that in last few weeks Ephesians tells us that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church sometimes they don't Ephesians tells the wives we respect and submit to their husbands sometimes they don't husbands and wives are taught in Scripture to be faithful to each other sometimes they aren't God's perfect will is wonderful and best but imperfect people often fail to do it the Bible does not answer every question that people face in life permission is given to divorce is given by Moses and acknowledged not reversed by Jesus and that leaves room for other let me say it again permission to divorce give my Moses acknowledged by Jesus leaves room for other situations where a divorce though not God's best is biblically permitted in light of the present situation in which that couple lives Jesus permits he doesn't doesn't necessarily suggest divorce when a person is maritally betrayed matthew 19:9 and paul allows for divorce if abandoned in 1st Corinthians 7 neither Moses Jesus or Paul listed any definite any other definite reason that divorce was okay there's no list of you can divorce for this reasons and you cannot divorce for these reasons except for the two in the Old Testament divorce is just acknowledged it happens I've notice it of situations where people were judged by churchgoers for getting out of their marriages and the truth is that they deserve spiritual medals of Honor for how long they tried and stayed there apparently grounds for divorce that are not listed but are permitted divorce is not God's original plan or his best will for people but it is permitted with no list of conditions that a person has to meet God through Moses could have given us a definite list he did not Jesus could have contradicted Moses he did not Jesus could have given us a list he did not Paul could have condemned people for divorcing for any reason he might list he did not but what about the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:32 nineteen nine the fact that someone has been on faithful doesn't mean that you should divorce only that it gives you that option it does give a person a green life to remarry unless he or she is marrying a divorced person just as divorce was not God's plan neither is it his will for a husband and wife or wife to be abused physically emotionally verbally or spiritually by spouse is it God's will for a person to stay in a marriage where the other spouse is abusing the children what if the wife or husband is an addict who continues to wreak havoc in the life of the family what if it mate secretly spends all the couple's money what if your mate threatens to kill you what if permission given by God through Moses and inspired Scripture leaves room for what-ifs that are not listed in the Bible God's very best no permitted yes it takes to to experience God's best even God himself couldn't have the proper relationship with Israel without Israel and here's a great question does God care more about the institution of marriage or the people in it does God try to protect the safety of marriage because of his love doesn't God try to protect the sanctity of marriage because of his love for the people in it sometimes safety and sanity are at risk Bob birch used to say that God permitted divorce because he was against murder it's the safety of Sandy of God's children more important to God than keeping a dysfunctional or dangerous home intact does anyone really believe that children are better off raised in a war zone quoting randy Alcorn again if the Bible teaches it shouldn't I as a believer believe it whether I like it or not if the Bible teaches it should not a believer believe it whether I like it or not if we're going to be Bible believing people then we must believe it's inconvenient truths we must follow what the Bible actually teaches not what we think or wish it taught quoting and inspired moisés through whom God gave this permission Deuteronomy 4:2 you shall not add to the word which I'm commanding you nor take away from it that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you do you understand the import of that in light of what this the permission Moses is given you're not to add to what Moses said you're not to take away from it Deuteronomy 12:30 to whatever I command you you shall be careful to do you shall not add to nor take away from it if Moses was wrong then we cannot trust the inspiration authority or accuracy in the first five books of the Bible nor can we trust Jesus who fully believed then and trusted in those words Jesus restated God's original and best plan but it did not void or rescind the permission given by Moses to get divorced he could have he had the perfect opportunity he did not if we create a list of why people can and cannot divorce which God is word did not do are we not adding to God's words if we add to God's words does Moses not condemn us rather than the people who divorce with his God's permission if we're going to believe and follow the Bible do we get to be the legislature judge and jury concerning divorce God hates divorce because he loves people we should do the same hate divorce with a passion truth but love people with compassion grace people whom God loves get hurt in divorce the church should do everything in his power to help couples marriages to survive the church must also recognize that we do not have the power to save marriages only the couple can do that God can't even do that without them what we do seem to have the power to do is to help people to pick up their lives and go forward just like we do with people who sin have sinned in other ways and experience two other failures the church should never punished one someone for doings something that God permits encourage couples to make it absolutely punish those who don't never the truth is that no one but the couple and maybe their children really knows what goes on in a marriage with 43 years of ministry experience I can tell you that often in a marriage the bad guy appears to be the good guy in vice-versa being a pastor and trying to save so many marriages I've seen people in dirt for years what healthy people would not have and should not have put up with for even months and in sometimes weeks whatever Jesus meant in - in Matthew 5 in 19 he did not mean that Christian marriage gives a person the right to treat their mate any blankety-blank way they want to as long as they don't have an affair and the abuse mate just has to take it now we actually had somebody years ago a girl told a man that well I've not had a fair to use of them on you so no matter how I treat you you got to take it if that's what Christian marriage means it's the lowest form of marriage on earth if that's what it is Moses taught people God's will but he did so fully recognizing that people are sinners and they'll always do it Paul said that people are better off single but immediately next verse since it's better to marry than living in morality he acknowledges that God's best is often not done first John 2:1 my little children I'm writing these things to you so that you may not sin that's God's best and if anyone sins we have an advocate with the father Jesus Christ the righteous here we're told not to sin then there's the immediate acknowledgment that we will most Greek scholars think that the word translated if here should instead be translated since so but since we see everyone sins we have an advocate with the father so what are we to do with people who don't do God's best for their lives we should follow the example of Jesus and John for Jesus had a conversation with a woman as well who'd married and divorced five times it was now being unmarried living unmarried with a man Jesus loved her apparently forgave her and did not condemn her in John 8 1 2 11 some Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught in the sex act with a man outside of marriage she is known as the adulterous woman or the woman caught in adultery the Pharisees wanted her condemned Jesus instead forgave her he dropped her past neither do i condemn you and he then directed her future go and sin no more Jesus taught God's truth but he never tried to force anyone to do it he showed compassion to those who were sinners rather than condemning them the only people Jesus condemned were the Pharisees whether added with their added to the Bible list of rules and their holier-than-thou judgmental attitudes most of us have heard that it takes two to have a good marriage and that is true but it does not take two to ruin a marriage only one God was in a covenant a marriage with Israel we would agree that God did everything right but Israel did not if you're broke the Covenant and God divorced Israel Jeremiah 3:8 this proves that only takes one to ruin a covenant and that the fault doesn't always lie on both sides no person in the marriage is perfect but marriages can be broken by only one person it also brings us to realize that God can technically be called a divorcee since he was rejected by his beloved Israel and he ended his relationship with her will our churches be known for loving people or just for hating sin well they're hating sin be conveyed in a way that indicates that we hate sinners or that we love them well we give care and compassion to people who hurt over things we can't change or when we condemn them for not doing what we think they should do even though they're doing what God is Word form is knowing that we have no real power or control over what people do well we help people try to do the best thing next as Jesus did or will we condemn them for doing less than God's best previously Jesus was accused of being a friend of sinners Luke 7 31 may our churches walk in the truth that Christ taught helping people to do the right thing while giving the grace that he gives even when they didn't do the right thing previously so what do we do with all this we walk in truth in grace we fight to save marriages I have always done this I always will you can't even begin to imagine how Betsy and I have exhausted ourselves over the years trying to save crumbling marriages and and we fight for people whose marriages don't make it I have always done this and I always will if you're here you're in a bad marriage I want you to know that I had the greatest compassion for your pain if you're here and you're divorced and remarried I want you to know that I have no interest in judging you I want to help you to experience God's best now where you are if you're happily remarried I want you to know that I'm as happy as I can be for you isn't that what Jesus does doesn't he take us where we are sometimes there are things we can and should do to repair past but Jesus doesn't beat people up for their past he picks people up to walk in a new and better future even if people sin then we're responsible for their divorce I agree with Romans 5:20 that tells us that God's grace is greater than our sin we've recognized that the reason Jesus hates divorce is because he loves the people hurt by it we acknowledge that we don't know what people have really lived with somewhere betrayed some were completely controlled and treated treated as if they were small children some receive little to no emotional or physical affection some were spiritually verbally or physically abused some all three some had their lives threatened some had to leave to protect themselves or their children some had to rescue themselves from the fallout of a mate's addiction and the list could go on and on let me reiterate God cares more about the people in a marriage than he does about the institution Jesus didn't die on the cross for marriage who'd he die on the cross for people people those of us married and never divorced need to come down off of our marital high horses the fact is that some of us wouldn't elastin a year under the problems that others tried for years to fix before finally realizing that everything broken cannot be fixed just ask God he couldn't fix his broken marriage with Israel and I bet being at this long enough to know not think but know that sometimes the person who appears to be innocent is the real problem some terrible people are world class charmers and sometimes the person who has tried for years doing everything they know to do to save their marriage gets treated as though they're not trying now the victim gets victimized I've noticed situations where people were judged by churchgoers for getting out of their marriages and the truth is that they deserve spiritual medals of honor for how long they stayed and tried to save those marriages I talked to a guy a few weeks ago as never been to our church he's one of those people if I understand the words of Jesus he wants us to be experts at loving people where they are no matter what they've done giving them another chance to get it right this time and if I understand the words of Jesus he wants us to be two completely and forever get out of the I'm better than others in judging business let's bow for prayer Buster's you guys come forward is there coming I want to repeat the randy alcorn question if the bible teaches it should and i as a believer believe it whether I like it or not

Channel: Corryton Church

Views: 90,552

Rating: 4.4501348 out of 5

Keywords: corryton, church, churches, knoxville, baptist, pastor, preacher, music, christian, jesus, christ, God, christianity, sermon, lesson, teaching, message, worship, spiritual, bible, gospel, faith, family, belief, divorce, marriage, remarried, remarriage, adultery, cheating, spouse, husband, wife, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, sex

Id: 2G3GyHWIswA

Length: 57min 27sec (3447 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 05 2018