Marisha Ray once said...

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] all right guys here's the deal wait we're taking a break i'm so angry i know hold it hold it i love that woman that's going to be useful my family doesn't drink what you hear me uh-huh yeah you all right oh holy crap it's really weird i take them by the cheeks can you feel this yeah you can you feel this does it taste good do you recommend it just call me child one more goddamn time last night when the storm was kicking up it was like i was only half sleeping because i kept waiting for lightning i'm sorry i found your cuteness alarming we have to settle down live happily together remember you promised me vesra i need the color yellow i need to think i need to think i'm going to just journal i'm going to try okay i'm going to i'll talk hey i love you a whole lot do you still think you're talking to my brother i know who i'm talking to all right i am gonna cast my one eighth level spell and i'm going to attempt to feeblemind her she's used up all her legendary sayings exactly exactly all righty and it is a intelligent saving throw yes which she's really good at but we could get lucky yeah four plus four roll the four she has an intelligence modifier for and is not one of her saving threads shut up her intelligence charisma become one cannot cast spells cannot activate magical oh items god oh my god oh my god something happened did that work yeah yeah yeah it's permanent right no it's through she can keep saving from it yeah at the end of every 30 days sorry for choking you with my stick i grab the back of her neck and i kiss her besides you know i'm in love with you right you taste like a semen please don't kill me at a live show and then it burrows underground [Applause] she's fun she makes me laugh i like her ridiculous plans i mean titties are just great regardless i have a lot of blood running down my leg but fuck you i win mary in an old mine hey i have a big stick too you think do you think she's into me tails [Applause] pop pop with my lightning gloves somewhere somewhere between uh between like six and nine people okay what is today so that's like a grown almost grown goblin oh okay yes but like i said it's really hard for me to tell it's not like we had a like a party every year birthdays are shite what what is today in this world as far as the date yes yeah no did you have one of those sneezes that actually break something you know the truck could hit me tomorrow i'll be like i'm good no but let's not let that happen married you're strollers oh god damn it again we just had a whole episode of this oh that was a laser pointer fire actor and director for years and now we're at it did you find it is that it probably a better yeah it's a long time good good long time i just everyone's no oh everyone's taller than you uh just for a second it goes slow motion and bow just like flash dance i pull out a wax cylinder and i smash it into the [Music] [Applause] and device for the thrilling conclusion of tyrion darington versus the kraken of the ashari hi everyone and welcome to tonight's episode of critical role god damn i'm good okay mrs willingham it's bailey oh right sorry uh anyway i have uh checked your charts and you should be in a lot of pain right now i feel nothing but the sweet nectar of mother nature coursing through me my love radiates like luminescent rainbows that will create a new life this day really well uh you should get ready for a long labor this one could take up to 36 hours it is done [Laughter] the mortal world has received its divine sheriff what that's medically impossible you didn't even push there's one neat push for the summer to shine down its radiance upon us no we merely bask in its glory hello my baby is perfection i told you that i was faithless which might be true when it comes to the gods but not with vexalia not with vox machina she gives me my power all right roll out how do i want to go poison how do you want to die this blood [Laughter] i don't know like like i said it's like like being eaten by a kraken would have been epic yep my my biggest thing like my biggest fear was that i was gonna trip and face plant in lava and then that happened so as long as it's not embarrassing because nothing's worse than dying from something completely unrelated to the circumstances that are actually going on can i do okay make an athletics check yes [Laughter] [Music] you get a few feet past the cliff edge uh not a majestic jump and the cliff is not completely sheer it does slightly angle outwards so you just leap off and as you're falling you can see you probably have about i'd say about 300 feet or so before you're gonna hit rock i'm gonna hit rock side of the cliff the cliff is not perfectly vertical it's a little bit angle and you're heading down to hit the rock i'll go whoops and can i do like a gust against the cliff wall to push me back a little bit further go make a wisdom check is the straight was the modifier oh jack good that's that's good just straight wisdom modifier 20. okay uh let's like a gentle fart you push yourself a little ways from the cliff um and it it does we'll say it does just enough of a shove where your trajectory changes slightly you may or may not be right where the rock hits the uh the surf you can test it or not it's up to you test it test it [Music] it was nice being in a couple oh uh the last minute i want to go and turn into a goldfish before you hit the water or the rock [Music] well i'm assuming the goldfish would make it easier terminal velocity yeah but you're going to that's a good point fish are not magnetically attracted to water a flying fish or something so you can like maybe i don't think flying fish are actually fly they glide they do glide as you turn into a goldfish [Music] rocketing towards the base of the water here we go oh no i don't know if i killed him he's taking a picture of it he's taking a picture of it no no he's not because she's dead there's too many dice for me to roll i mean what i would just pop back to myself i don't die and then any additional damage would go over into your i know i know there's too many dice to roll mauricio that was it's fine we're gods she says as she dies on the rocks why would you even tempt that shit why am i drinking your clothes i'm gonna stop right now but we're not oh man oh boy oh oh boy what is he doing just you and me sis just no no no seriously though what if she just died yes that would be kind of amazing you took 363 points of damage you are lying you are lying that's below by hitting rocks would you happen to be nila or is it nayla am i pronouncing that right it was neither who's neela you had it right the first time nailed it love you jess oh for me it's victor maybe that's how faces get trees how trees get fake you've never played boulder paper shears your abs are nice i know [Laughter] in a while since i've asked for this favor but yeah will you hold me was he kind of a dick what kind of a huh a penis and i want to use stillness of mind to end a charm effect my horniness is so distracting um it's just i am going to do an interpretive dance one of us swimming through the volcano [Music] ourselves oh wow oh there's music coming from you you see a dwarven woman with basically a one-man band set up entirely she has a giant drum on her back and uh with stirrups that go around her her shins so every time she walks you hear all um hello you get like a little purplish when you get a sunburn it's super cute because this has to be perfect yeah it takes me literally punching the shit out of ivantico though honorable playing king the means justify the ends my compatriot here will place her cobalt knuckles upon the chin of ivantica and you will hear the truth you need but only ask your questions again be my guest ivanka is yeah what is uh silver lining at home we get the use of a real fire swallow big money no whammies there's something about yasha from the moment that i saw her yes balls biggie park oh hello everything she kills just turns me on not will you stand guard now because now i have to take a shit we're live on the fucking internet sam regal compare yourself to me it's an impossible task oh your face is leaking i hate it i won't tell you don't tell anybody yeah i wow wow [Laughter] fucking cool caleb you got a nice face i saw blue and you should know ryshaan i've stepped on plenty of anthills in my day those that don't die revolt and guess what there's some pretty nasty stings from some ants out there they'll leave a welt they will really the strength of a colony is stronger than the individual of one great diseased foot [Music] she winked at me i hate you one time when you were leaning over my space motherfucker [Music] imagine my face what animated i i go over and i smack yash's ass besides wait that's what you said right no no no no oh come on wait what come on my mom yeah did you just put a hooker on lay away hey you might have i might have misinterpreted your eyes yeah pretty sure we just shot the messenger so as you rush over trying to help you go to leap but your foot catches what you thought was solid volcanic rock unfortunately it's brittle and broken and it slips beneath your foot in doing so you only get about three feet before you plant the lower half of your body straight into the lava um oh my god that's 53 points in fire damage you're alive get out get off you can get out of it you've got small points you died as you lived a fucking dumbass i'm an utter dumbass like i'm no you're not you're so smart you're a fucking moron like the pain kind of turns me on just a little bit anybody long may he rain i could be her beacon i think i can punch ghosts now i'll regenerate your arm i'll bring that back i guess don't fuck me girls are great wait i wanna go boop dope monk shit parkour calm down forward flip you're doing it heel to the fucking face i like i can feel the chat just saying thanks keyleth like i can just like feel it you turn to creativity yeah and i think that's beautiful oh god i'm just i'm sorry i just have this burn in my butt from all the smoke you just blew up my ass oh oh my god it's ripply oh my god it's ripply does it say something i have passed through fire i uh pull out my pocket kitchen sink and my air mattress and i take 60 seconds to set up trying to run the gauntlet that is the red carpet so that we can get to our reward at the end which is the bar yeah i'm always a fan of going down what is happening and you can so you are now flying you are concentrating yeah um finishing caleb's turn jester europe caduceus here on deck mage not gesture zone uh-huh those matron after producers everything's messed up everything's messed up [Music] everything's concentration that i have i'm freaking out it's challenging spell casters okay i know right away for my bonus action i'm just going to use my spiritual weapon that i have up no and i'm going to hit the stunned one that's holding bow go ahead and roll damage on that okay oral attack on that and then with magic sequins yeah that's about you

Channel: Mon

Views: 576,059

Rating: 4.9571972 out of 5

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Id: pbHHMtqtVm8

Length: 19min 29sec (1169 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 25 2020