Man of Steel - Nostalgia Critic

I lost my parents in childhood alone no one understood and spent years brooding as a nameless your but through the inspiring words of my father I'll become a simple and icon the savior jurist or hope to those who heaven oh you mean like Batman I travel the world as a bearded al cats discover who I bet her does happen though speak to me in exposition and features of my life story I will tell it to outer border and destroying player don't often have flashbacks out of nowhere about how important my destiny dark didn't know when I'm blowing Kate my liquid shop at the safe side I have a wise father figure who isn't my father at all not my boss and set for be I'm going to leave the quest and psychologically tortured not special I've stared into the past and d4 did have come out scar yet responsibly strong say I was like when I'm in my giant dark empty for gels failure I try to save people but under my protection is a million tourists travel on an awkward no you're not you're an emo huh every woman wants the sweet one okay you're right about that over here I have a plan but independent girlfriend I still have to save most of the time like mine listen you can't be Who I am you're a speedy pretty boy on the freakin vamper the dark brooding loner is my thing you see attack spider sure ain't gonna take that from me super Jesus guy what he was gonna he was gonna kill some random people I didn't know dude I didn't even kill the insane clown who murdered my girlfriend oh you're sick no Superman movie two of the most polar opposite secret oh [ __ ] you Zack Snyder they can be a great people they wish to be they only lack the light to show the way for this reason above all their capacity for good I've sent them you my only son Man of Steel socks man of Steel is freaking awesome and you know it yeah maybe for blue hungry Psychopaths but for those of us who love an American icon it's [ __ ] this is a new kind of Superman Critic he's obviously not the one we grew up with kept that lemay sense what time-traveling flying around the world mostly made some use just can't accept the fact that this is something new and well we all know that the first two films are legendary it's time for a different way of looking at this story that's been told a thousand times the same way okay look I'm sick to death of that [ __ ] argument so I'll tell you what I am willing to look at this in a new light because hey we should be willing to accept things from a new point of view I will still try my best to accept this as its own unique thing without drawing any references from the original movies deal deal but you have to acknowledge that when a moment sucks it [ __ ] sucks no matter how much testosterone-filled [ __ ] is in it I make no promises Joe alright fine well let's look at the movie that has the internet Oh delete split down the middle this is either the absolutely loved or absolutely hated Man of Steel we start off with the birth of our hero on Planet every sci-fi movie ever made and seeing how this is a Zack Snyder film everything obviously either looks like HR Geiger's hand-me-downs or penises look at these things tell me that doesn't look like the Little Mermaid poster I actually quite like the New Krypton look slide five medieval mesh interesting wildlife but I suppose the floating robots do look a bit like the hair doing The Last Airbender oh no no we have interpretations of that in barbwire as our High Council is wearing what I assume is Krypton's version of mini roller coasters she's seriously suggesting that we evacuate the entire planet Oh everybody here is already dead a lot of you know the drill here Superman's father jor-el played by Russell Crowe is trying to convince the higher-ups that the planet Krypton is about to explode and nobody believes him ba tell the entire world lowing up isn't exciting enough let's throw in the hostile takeover while we're at it to this particular hostile takeover is led by General Zod played by Michael why does everyone say I Lisp like Willem Dafoe Shannon these lawmakers with their endless debates have let trip down the road help me save our race that the generated bloodlines that led us to this state and who will decide which bloodlines survives on you I humbly accept your nomination don't be so seeing how Zod's army fought off this world equivalent of White House security so easily it only makes sense that jor-el should be able to fight off the odds army that broke through this world equivalent of White House security so easily I think he rides on his dragon fly dragon picked up yet another subplot because Lord knows we don't have enough of those going on this opening and plans to put it in a space pod sending his son to earth who will be the only survivor my lesson now shoot we gotta have that pesky emotion come on this is a Christopher Nolan story you can throw in more subplots at least wrap that baby to a bomb or something he rises from the dentist Jaron is sent out towards birth just before Zod's forces arrive concentrate fire on the main door your ass person who clearly has no microphone attached to his mouth what have you done we've had a child's on Harris this one stuff a bag of marshmallows his mouth before talking yes just good our friend must clear lab actually the funny thing about Michael Shanna's performance is how he manages to be both over-the-top extreme and under the bottom restraint it's kind of like watching Jerry Lewis act he may start off low and appear not to be very interested but then in a millisecond he can change into what hey what's that streaming and I yell and and the nice lady oh shut up he did great Michael Shannon is a damn good actor he was portraying a bitter single-minded man who has nothing to lose as he's pushed to the breaking point yeah but does this breaking point have to sound like a bulldog you won't tell us oh yeah well at least it isn't selling a screaming goat when he yells hey I do not bearded [ __ ] azad gets the best of him just before security gets the best of Zod this calls for a hans zimmer Blom does anyone else look at that sound yet I swear if Hans Zimmer did the music - you're a Good Man Charlie Brown if he your good man charlie so that is sentenced to imprisonment in the Phantom Zone you believe your son is safe I will find him sorry didn't quite catch that I would find him no still didn't get it I will find him mmm still not coming through tell you what say it is loud and ridiculously hammies your cartoonishly large eyes and mouth will allow oh now I hear you know you walk by I get it look at it so they wait for the inevitable as it's the end of the world as they know it and everyone feels blandly fine lady Laura shouldn't you find refuge what I can't hear you over the incredibly quiet destruction of the world there is no refuge kiddo so kal-el travels to the plant known as Earth where he lands on an episode of Deadliest Catch you okay we may have skip forward atashi but at least now we have time to give Clark played by Henry Cavill some proper development for his character or just blow [ __ ] up again because the past 20 minutes clearly haven't shown enough of it om we unite is Wolverine brawny man follow my non flammable hands to freedom when Kansas became oh we're in this kind of story what kind of story the out of order story that got critical acclaim with mementos on Dolan's been trying to use it with every film he's been attached to he's a boy he's a man he's a teenager he's a boy again he's a man and it wouldn't be so bad if you would at least talk about what he's going through but he never does wait aren't you the one saying that Nolan films already have too much dialogue already what kind of sort of maybe it depends on how you use it I mean if it's neither use it if it's not don't well you actually don't need it here scenes like Clark as a boy getting used to his powers are already emotional scenes you don't have to explain them now that's true scenes like this are good on their own but we're getting background on a guy whose personality were never given time to know look at this we have a flashback to his childhood and then we come back to present time then literally one minute later we get another flashback to his childhood welcome back missed ya they never give any time to understand this guy I've got to know the personality of my Minute Rice more than I have this person so what's wrong with that lots of us constantly get flashbacks out of nowhere about the troubling childhood Joe what's that papa no I don't want to wear the big lobster costume why do you make me wear that anyways no but but no nothing nipple Tasers please I think the less I know about this the better so after countless moments of intense scenes and harsh action what is this flashback in the show some intense scenes and hardac Wow this Bill's running the gamut of all two things that can be done with a movie so young Clark saves the bus of kids which leads to the dismay of his father John Kent played by that voice box that sounds like Kevin Costner or maybe it's just Kevin Costner they're pretty easy to mix up we talked about this you have Clark have to keep this side of yourself a secret and this of course gives way to one the most controversial parts of the movie John can saying he should have let the kids on the bus die what was I supposed to do just let him die maybe yeah what do you guys say about that show Joe no but nothing that Joe glycerine Joe oh sorry the scene where John Kant says drown the bastards hey hey he doesn't say let them die he says maybe let them die that's much better well it's his way of saying he doesn't know and that's what's so great about it because it mimics real life far more than previous Superman films it shows that people don't always have the answers all he knows is that he doesn't want his son to be discovered and hurt but he never says let them die he says he doesn't know okay fine tough confusing world why can't Superman's father then talk to him like a father what do you mean he's the one that builds a mom and that's it every line in this movies just talking about what a messiah he is you were sent here for a reason the world finds out what you can do it's gonna change everything you're not just anyone Clark you're the answer to are we alone in the universe stand proud in front of the human race he's less of a tough father and more like a stereotypical Jewish mother oh you gotta see my son when the world finds out what he can do it's gonna change everything he was sent here for a reason he's the answer to are we alone in the universe ma'am nine-one-one is for emergencies only oh sorry I could have had a busload of drowned kids for you but my son saved them too but don't worry I punished him properly for that ma'am never pick up the phone why does everyone keep telling me that come on those are some strong well-written words it's every point destiny monologue we've heard before oh yeah prove it people are afraid of what they don't understand you always fear what you don't understand people fear but they don't understand people fear what they do understand who are frightened by what they don't understand he said it differently though we found in this this was in the chamber with you I took her to a metallurgist at Kansas State he said whatever it was made from didn't even exist on the periodic table that's another way of saying that it's not from this world Clark they surprisingly ask no questions and let me take my miracle stone home without ever calling anybody see they knew how to keep a secret and it turns out years later Clark does a good job carrying that secret like when a bully inflicts no physical harm on him whatsoever so he crucify his truck costing God knows how much money in damages but at least he didn't save anybody so seeing how we're watching Clark go on this long journey are we finally gonna get some idea of what his personality is look at you all know the answer to this hello other characters and subplots one of them being Lois Lane played by Amy Adams doing a report on some sort of disturbance hell no you cannot badmouth Lois Lane she's a stronger character a more confident one she's a risk-taker she doesn't have time for the military's pissing contest she actually does something in this film and she's not only screaming for someone to save her yeah that is until she is hit by the Nolan Wray the what the Nolan Rhea you see I have no doubt that Zack Snyder started off having Lois as an interesting funny opinionated character because at first she does seem that way we're done measuring dicks can you have your people show me what you found but then she's at by the Nolan Wray and suddenly every line of dialogue is emphasizing the weight of how important the movie you're watching is remember when his father was balling him out like a real father right we talked about this you have no one right you're the answer to are we alone in the universe remember how Lois Lane was feisty in took no nonsense from anybody well what can I say writer flops I'm not wearing a flak jacket boom no libray the questions raised by my rescuers existence are frightening to contemplate even Barry White played by Laurence Fishburne he starts off in your face screaming about stories and deadlines you let Woodburn just shotgun it all over the Internet no let's make it three weeks that you're so willing to agree with me no that's way too winter ethic a little bit of a building right we'll fix that can you imagine how people on this planet would react if they knew there was someone like this out there then Nolan rain because whatever important issue you're talking about it always be more important critic you know sometimes life is like that life can be tough life can be cruel life can throw lobster costumes and nipple teasers into reality then I ever gotta know the story to that the less you know the better so Lois follows a certain laser eyeing someone into the ice where she discovers a spaceship a spaceship that apparently saw her performance and Julie and Julia but Clark is there to take down the machine he or her wounds and apparently leave her for dead when she observes that Clark has taken the spaceship away she tries to write a report on it only to find her boss won't run it so she lets it leaked to the Internet my editor won't print it but if it happened to leak online but didn't you once describe my site as a creeping cancer of falsehoods hey look it's TMZ how's it going hey they're the scum of the earth so Clark loads the exposition program and through some pretty awesome effects a computer with what's left of jor-el explains Krypton's history that's my name and I'm Joe bear I'll race spread out through the stars the scalp ship was one of thousands launched into the void we sent thousands of these Scout ships and yet our backup plan in case the world blows up was a little baby sized pod you can see why we didn't last very long artificial population control was established so let's explain that Clark is Krypton's first natural birth in centuries not exactly sure how they control that weather everyone just kept to the honor system or if they genetically altered babies to be born with chastity belts but regardless Clark has apparently broken the chain and he now knows it's his job to do what he can for all mankind so he practices flying around the mountainside well the cameraman practices keeping his finger off the goddamn zoom button yeah you may notice very quickly there's a lot of this in this movie for no reason at all whenever there's fast paced motion the camera has to zoom in on it like a monkey with a [ __ ] camcorder how do you think the cinematographer came across that ingenious move yo come on honey give daddy the camera no no I have to show mr. Sneijder my test for the Man of Steel please no come on I can explain I love this I knew you would so let's go searching for her rescuer slash lever of people to die in the snow and through asking questions and listening to hearsay she locates exactly where he is of course this calls for celebrating with another flashback tired I just want to do something useful with my life so farming feeding people that's not that's not use a family's been farming for five generations but wait a minute papa kehte did you just in a few flashbacks say that he was destined to change the world when people discovered him the world finds out what you can do it's gonna change everything and now you're saying you never wanted to be discovered and you just want him to be a farmer I'm starting to think like as three fathers jerel John and Jones all their freaking personality but get ready for a big shot here something big and terrible tries to kill them and thus they all try the seek shelter I'll get him no no get your mom to be over balls but wait a minute we'll be saved by John even though it would have been a lot easier if he just sent Clark in to go get and causing John to hurt his leg unable to make it back in time but he stops Clark from saving him because he's an attention hungry Marvin who doesn't want Clark to be outed even though he's gonna be out of just a few years later anyway wait what yep even though there's about a million other ways this problem could have been solved John Kent sacrifices himself because he stands by how Clark should change the world by never doing a goddamn thing he's just doing what he thinks is right but it's not right but he thinks it's right does that make it right does that make it not right not right right right right right what the hell do we just agree on you see this movie's deeper than you think it's raising questions I'll shut up while we're at it why does everyone in this movie take death like a light breeze all the people who die in this film never flinch move or even make a noise and these does have range from stabbing explosion and tornado I think somebody in that lineup would at least go out maybe well the movies tired of waiting for Clark to actually do anything so General Zod appears on the monarch ship to threaten the world to hand him over think whoever's at the helm of that thing is can make a dramatic entrance thanks for the arrow by the way we never won't know what we were supposed to look at you know my name is General Zod I come from a world far from your so it looks like their ability to take over all of Earth video footage understandably gives a barely visible picture but for some reason that sound sure seems crystal clear to kal-el I say this surrender within 24 hours oh and tell Nash thanks for the microphone it works great no problem tyrannical overlord watch this world suffer the consequences Socrates pitted Orson Welles ladies and gentlemen to assure you that the War of the world has no further significance and at the Holiday offering it was intended to be so Clark tries to figure out what to do and seeks the advice of both his mother and possibly a higher source what is that I don't know where to start rebby you want I can't make that out what is that do you know why they were she's off so clerk reveals himself and surrenders to the military who have also brought in Lois seeing how she's the only one who knew anything about his existence what's the S stand for it's not an S on my world it means hope well here it's an S oh I could look at your ass all day really hey you done worse I am teenies is is and titties is titties is a iesson kitty so he convinces humanity that he's not a threat and a he's going to hand himself over to Zod humanity goes okay and let him turn himself in to Zod second-in-command Faora but she also seems to what Lois to go with to General Zod would like this woman to accompany me sorry I'll go we also got Julie and Julie on planet Krypton you will pay for costing Meryl Streep and Oscar as if she doesn't have enough shut up so they go aboard Zod ship but Clark has a hard time adapting to their atmosphere he's rejecting our ships atmospherics hello welcome to my weird mantle thingy I and my fellow officers was sentenced to the Phantom Zone so that explains how they were freed once Krypton was destroyed and how they got the ship working to travel to earth to find him I well yes we remember he explains that the Codex for all living things on Krypton is in his possession and so he has the power to make Krypton live again Krypton lives again what happens to earth the foundation has to be built on something you know is it really wise to tell your only hope for the future of your race that you're going to destroy his place that he calls home when they kind of make him resistant and thus make things go a little slower maybe this wasn't what he was supposed to see maybe they accidentally put in the wrong program to show up if I give you the Codex what happens to her the foundation has to be built on something no no no no no no no skulls skulls everywhere look does that you get this isn't going to make him happy little turn you into a raving psychotic when the happy program the happy program see much better well we've got dancing bunnies here and oh look at the flowers all smiling oh there's even a unicorn riding a marshmallow rainbow isn't that adorable you'll stay here until we remember the incredibly important reason we brought you on board this gives her a chance to use jor-el in a box as they plain what I have to admit is a pretty awesome escape thanks to you I'm uploading to the ship's mainframe - you're right Wow I do oh my god I want this guy's an AI on my next first-person shooter game secure yourself inside the open part safe travels miss lane this also allows Clark to escape as he's set to go down to earth and stop them from harming anybody we wanted you to learn what it meant to be human first so the one day when the time was right you could be the bridge between two peoples you can save all of them but my father said never to be noticed or help people follows at Walt who directed the post menu he'll go oh oh we heard you the first time hey what's wrong with a little savior symbolism here they're here or there I don't think the Bible has as much Jesus imagery okay okay but what would someone who's half a mortal and half human be like would it be more human or would it be more godlike yes he floats away on a cross but but to me they're just trying to have a move graceful in space okay they're not literally saying he's Jesus or God and the church scene supports that he's humble he's more human than we know he needs the advice of others to help him make the right decision and this is when he truly comes over to our side becomes one of us you know what forget it let's just say you win really yeah I'll claim assistant canis almost I don't want to watch any more of this dark unpleasantness probably please happy angry fanboys to a rad score one for angry Joe I'm gonna convince you yet you know how come on show is so easy to hack I come from a world far from you I travel over the ocean of stars two-week hold on a second but how do we still have dial-up this is General Zod I've been watching your little review and I'm displeased to discover that you were giving it a positive rating yeah he loves it now it's like one of his favorite movies shut up Joe perhaps you're unaware of how many people watch you nostalgia critic and how much I personally despise the film you are currently reviewing and how easy would be for me to rearrange your testicles so that they look like Jackson Pollock droppings and joke's on you Zod once the critic makes up his mind nothing changes it Joe you can literally rip his intestines out with a nut in beale air Joe you can suck out his eyes with a vacuum pull Joe but you could put him in a lobster costume and hang them upside down okay two ferrets injected with bad mojo surprisingly this isn't helping looks odd hold on I'm writing that last one down is odd the review isn't done yet I'm gonna watch it all the way through whoo very good and if you don't hate it I will make sure that the course they find of you they will never recognize as a corpse hey that's not fair critic if you go back on your opinion you're not the whole of the internet hounding you down like an animal can we all just hate Superman for you you so Clark or as some people are calling it now Superman gets Lois out of the escape pod before it explodes oh what a charming romantic ma no time for that here we got exposition dispute I didn't want to tell him anything about you but they did something to me they looked inside my mind jacket put it the same thing to me huh guess they forgot to show that scene kind of pointless seeing how they could get the exact same information out of him hell maybe Zod managed to find the correct imagery this time you see miss lane all of this and more can be yours if you just give us the information we require even the unicorn riding a marshmallow rainbow even the unicorn riding the marshmallow so that approaches Clark's mother dressed as that thing from the opening of alien and tries to force her to tell him where the Codex is the Codex is not here where has he hidden it no where is the product does this guy have any charm outside of just shouting his ass off help us God get this position anyway go down to Shogun Superman saves his mother but potentially dooms this entire town by bringing the battle to them it seems okay for the moment as Zod can adapt to Earth's atmosphere but miss not Ursa and her masked minions can make up for that I'm sorry sir the red white and boom pancakes are at Denny's I appreciate your enthusiasm Bo and as many people have pointed out the product placements in this scene are beyond horrendous including some painful plugs for I hop Sears 7-eleven u-haul there's so many ads clashing in the scene I don't think they could properly plug them all in time when in town get a healthy dose of pancakes from IHOP but wait when you need a little pick-me-up grab a slushie from 7-eleven I mean when you're looking for clothes for any occasion Sears us a place where you thought moving soon let you all handle all of your services oh now you're not even trying all right all right I'll give you that one there is way too much of that in the film but critic you have to admit the action steam is still amazing what with countless plugs and people dying left and right come on you know your inner manchild can't look past how amazingly awesome the wanton destruction is damn my testosterone of course it's [ __ ] awesome lingo right all the guests let's see wasting the ban and he throws it out there but you know hello and then she got a hip a guide injectors a new shoe but the Superman when you bomb and I catches him in the round they're like going over it's like Dragon Ball Z is that's all the shitty stuff and cut out well something is just not Dragon Ball Z shitty stuff do shitty stuff but this stuff is awesome pardon me but what's our hearing enjoyment of this picture uh no sir guren [ __ ] no that's what I'm going to be if I piss him off he finally gets their helmets offs drain seeing how the odds came off in one explosion there's took like a bajillion and seeing how he's won he goes back to his mother to see if she's alright nice suit son she's sorry it's only static Clark oh good could you tell the people down the street that Moulton my ass and property damages but Zod discovers the Codex is in Superman's bloodstream and that he doesn't need to be alive in order for them to get it so it's time to do a little planet redecorating ladies and gentlemen because you've never seen the destruction of a major city in a summer blockbuster before we give you nothing we just said oh my god we'll get all the places they're destroyed including I hop daddy's Toys R Us tears all the ingeniously marketed humanity's so two machines on either side of the world start leveling the planet this calls for Star Trek style mumbo jumbo mixed in with a simple analogy the audience can understand ship a star by something called a phantom drive it bends space Zod ship uses the same technology and if we can make the two drives collide with one another a singularity can be created like a black hole like putting too much air in a balloon of course it's so simple so the army goes to take out the one in the city while Superman goes to take out the one over the Indian Ocean now I know there's a lot of people who get angry saying Superman should have taken the one in the city first no it's not just Superman who saves the world with one direct method brave civilians are military and Superman working together as one only he can make it there that fast to the other side of the world and only he could possibly get around its defenses Joe honestly this setup is so confusing I'll just take your word for it no everybody goes nuts over this so I'm gonna explain it what if Superman went for the main one and then they went for the other one there they may not be able to shut the other one down maybe the other one has a self-destruct mechanism which would blow up the entire earth if the first one got blown up so that adapts to the Earth's atmosphere apparently half a lifetime again used to this can be reduced down to a couple seconds now and grabs the scoutship in order to start rebuilding Krypton meanwhile Lois is on board the military ship about to blast the other one to hell when something seems to go wrong what's it supposed to do damn it Louis you had one job that we pointlessly put you in charge of and that was just to push a button and you couldn't even do that right they do eventually get it to work but Zod is hot on their trail target that aircraft terminate with extreme disinterest but Superman stop the machine over the Indian Ocean and flies back to destroy Zod on his ship if you destroy this ship you destroy Crypton had its chance the bridge between two worlds everybody if you have a chance to save a civilization but yeah they were kind of jerks just destroy any chance of them ever coming back I guess the bridge in this movie is code for either us or them and honestly even us kind of got the raw end of it are they gone I think so they saved us Oh for god sake could you say that in a part of the city that doesn't look quite so 911 for crying out loud oh that's missing his Bush in a banner that says mission accomplished even they say it's all downhill after the first kiss who the hell says that but it turns out Zod is still alive n angry that his future has been reduced to hot chocolate mix I exist only to protect Krypton and every action I take no matter how violent or how cool is for the greater good those odd vows to destroy Superman to any cost logically seeing how he'll chase Superman anywhere Superman leads him to a location far away from the people so that none of them will ever get hurt or he once again brings the most dangerous thing in the world to the people he swore to protect yeah I'm sure they're really thankful thanks for saving us Superman yeah imagine the real damage it could have been done if he did come to our planet oh look side o Jesus is gonna save us again wait it go Superman putting us up club all us again Superman gets him in a headlock but Zod vows to make what he supposedly cares for most suffer to us even though there's about three or four different ways those people could probably get out of there you have to admit soup this isn't all made these people are just kind of idiots never plus we get our biggest controversial moment in all of the movie Superman breaks Zod's neck really nothing from you on that one Joe oh and that's how it saved Christmas with the lightning gone was I talking about the controversial neck breaking scene oh you know I'm not gonna lie when I first saw that scene I hated it but the more you really think about it this is a really bold choice because ultimately atlet's sod when it plays again to a young and inexperienced clark and how he knows his actions will have huge ramifications yes because having the city new didn't have enough ramifications point being it's a catalyst now for why you will never ever take another life the fact that he had to do it to one of his own people one of the last remaining Kryptonians at that moment he not only chooses to be human but he makes the ultimate sacrifice for Humanity and he also makes himself forever alone I agree ah I knew you'd say that wait what yeah surprisingly the most hated scene by so many fans actually didn't bother me that much I mean keep in mind we saw Superman kills Zod in the second movie and no one had a heart attack over that and on top of that even though it could have been illustrated better I liked the idea they were going for that you won't always have answers to situations that are always epically pleasing it's actually a very difficult very hard thing to come to grips with tonight forgotten in the very next scene he just blows some more [ __ ] up because like I said we haven't seen enough of that yeah it's pretty rushed I mean he takes down a satellite and then they make a joke about how hot he is and and they never bring it up again it's almost like the scene before never freakin happened it really pisses me the [ __ ] off it just ruined it right there they never established that killing people was a big thing for him hell we saw so many other civilians die I figured that he'd be used to seeing it by now um we never actually see any of those people die as a direct result from Superman I mean sure we see people die when Zod ship is is like humping the earth but I get what you're saying you're actually saying we agree on the neck break then I think so the one part most fans universally hate we actually think is okay for the most part yeah so does that mean you actually like it critic yes does that mean you actually like this nostalgia critic I don't think this movie is awful oh come on man huh no I'm sorry I just think it's terrible there are some things I like all the actors to play these roles are good choices the action scenes are awesome and though I like the more upbeat Superman I'm open to the idea of the darker version but these characters have no identity outside of their job and how they look but you wouldn't even know that this was Clark Kent or Lois Lane if they didn't call them Clark Kent or Lois Lane the millions of subplots are not needed and get in the way of any emotional connection we want to make the incoherent storytelling is pointless and annoying and as a superhero he lets way too many people die in this even if he took Superman's name off of this I still win like this stupid illogical mess I think you're totally wrong reading everything you just said those characters seem boring to you because they're not as over-the-top or single noted as the comic book ones are the Christopher Reeves versions it's a new kind of Superman that needs a less cliched character okay it needs a tougher and darker outlook because we've seen the other Superman stories already those are still there and by putting the inglese morally confusing lessons that you call illogical I see them as challenging and there's no way to save every single body like in previous movies and always get your way there's just a man struggling between what it means to be human and more than human and trying to do the right thing yet he still manages to rise above it and save us all this movie is awesome oh please your host own hands won't be too much into anything why don't you say that to my fist hair gel there could be a great people they wish to be they only lack the light to show the way for this reason above all their capacity for good I'll sent them you my only son I think I understand now Joe I will never like this movie I think it's an insult to everything Superman stands for and I will never understand how you could actually like it oh nice but just because I can't see how doesn't mean I can't understand why oh because I'm a blood hungry psychopath right no I mean you are but that's not why I think you like it when I see this movie I see people dying for the sake of getting violent craving teens in the seats but that's not what you see you see one of your favorite superheroes being tested and put through a greater challenge than ever before and by having him witness and go through so much intensity it makes his challenges in greater and his drug 'el all the more interesting for you and probably a lot of people that enjoy this movie you're seeing the Man of Steel go up against some of the greatest evil aids ever gone up against because of how much damage he does so when he rises up you can feel all the more proud of what a terrible thing he stopped it's not craving dark horrible things like a maniac it seems someone fight against those dark horrible things and not just through him holding heavy stuff but by standing up for what he feels is important I don't see the same thing but the very least I know that's what you see so as long as you're viewing it because you want to see the best of strength and kindness rise up against the worst of oppression and force all I can say is go ahead and enjoy it map thanks for understanding little the road [ __ ] won't work on me it was done don't worry great I'll stop them tell me it's location hey how are you doing that but better now prepare for entree or spill orders and pain Oh for Christ's sake will you guys stop punching holes in my ceiling you stop you again sod stay back Superman well the Craig's toast careful Zod you know what I can do oh yeah what are you gonna do kill me you break my neck you'll have message boards all over you like an unemployed writer at Starbucks so come on big man what are you gonna do Wow you lasered his balls off yep but at least I didn't kill him but you laser his balls off I mean he had it coming and I'm surprising him to begin with Jesus well then what'd you do huh you know the usual made sure they got those Lois forbid flew into space smile for the camera and I bet you were played off to a hot summer theme come on man no no no no I swear they're like exactly the same I mean here's my theme did it you did it you did it you did it now here's our theme did it today it's like a semitone off hey you know speaking of ripoffs does this seem at all familiar to you what do you mean like just this whole set up I feel like I might have seen this before oh my god don't look what I said oh look you look did you yes I did did they see you I don't think so are you sure I can check I don't look hmm they're looking right at us just keep your eye down on the table hey hey good man doesn't have a big we don't hear that we're keeping our eyes down on the table you know that incest or be I'm mentally depressed and psychologically tortured not special I've stared into the past and D forward and have come out scar yet responsibly strong I reflected when I'm in my giant dark empty food shelves familiar trying to save people but under my protection the civilian death toll is treble you I will find him

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 2,830,727

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, movie, movies, film, man of steel, superman, superman review, man of steel review, movie review, film review

Id: AINE4-iyae8

Length: 49min 7sec (2947 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 22 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/YourPrivateNightmare]

You know, seeing how even Nostalgia Critic pointed out how incredibly stupid the skull drowning scene is, I would like to introduce: the Doug Walker factor

This means that when Doug Walker, as the NOstalgia Critic, is able to coherently point out a major flaw in your movie, your movie is really REALLY bad

[u/Childish_Cambino2187]

I can’t believe that Angry Joe unironically tried to justify Pa Kent’s stupid “let him drown” line.

As Mr. Sunday Movies said, it’s a surprise Superman didn’t turn out to be the kid from Brightburn with Jonathan’s guidance.

[u/Serpentking5]

Ah this brings me back when i was young...

​

this was stupid then and it's stupid now... i woud like it to be reviewed given how...bizzare it is

[u/Brehmstorm]

Honestly, Nostalgia Critic and the Channel Awesome anniversary movies for me are in that camp of "it's not really good, but it's so bizarre I can't look away." This video would be a really great one for EFAP to cover, given it has Doog Walker and Angry Jew at once.