Love & Marriage - Pastor T Mwangi

wow are you ready for today's service now yesterday i was just meditating and of course um if we go to the theological arguments on the origin of valentine's and why where valentines came from we know it's it's not of the father hallelujah bon appetit so i'm not here to talk about valentine's i'm here to remind you that god loves you amen god loves you period the love of god is the most important thing that can happen in your life but because now everyone is talking about love let me take this opportunity to align some matters so we will suspend the series on king dynamics for this sunday and next sunday but we shall pick it up from there the other sunday before we finish are we together let me talk about myths of love myths of love this when you talk of a myth it tells you it is not a reality these are things that people have taken as truth but they are not truth and so i'll try to speak about love the biblical way if you ask me what love is this is the definition of mr t or pasta tea depending where we meet and how you see me to sum i'm a pastor to samara amen but that's not an issue my definition which is in my book the value of a woman's worth is that love is an illusion it's an illusion it's something you can't explain you can describe you can touch though you can sense his presence it's an illusion that becomes a reality it's an illusion that becomes a reality when there is chemistry of personality love is an illusion that becomes a reality when there is chemistry of personality chemistry of personality so it's something that looks like it is hanging outside there but when you when there is clicking of personalities you can say this is love one of the things i've come to discover is that no one can describe love but people can express love you cannot describe love but you can express love expressing meaning you can buy a flower as an expression but you cannot describe what you're feeling you can take someone for lunch and tell them damage my account as an expression hallelujah but you cannot really describe what you're feeling but let's look at the bible and the common myths about love the first myth which is alive is that people marry for love it is a lie i'm married and i tell you i never got married for love now there is a silence in the house the bible says and there was silence in heaven because there was no man who was worthy to open now god never created love us let's look at genesis 2 18. god never created love us genesis 2 18 so we don't marry for love if you are looking for a man or a woman to love and marry you will stay single for long and some of you are single because you are looking for someone to love no listen and the lord god said it is not good now the first thing here it was the idea of god it was not the idea of man so the question is has god said it is not good for you to be alone or are you answering the cry of your relatives because your relatives can be disturbed you are 28 years and they are saying you need to marry but has god said hallelujah this is the bible by the way god said it is not good that man should be alone this is grammar i bless the lord for free education what does alone mean the man was numerically single meaning that god was not dealing with loneliness god was dealing with alone god would have said it is not good for man to be lonely but he says it is not good for man to be alone so the first thing god must reach a place where he says it is not good for you to be alone so we are dealing with alone numerical not lonely emotional now some of us are trying to feel an emotional gap but god was not dealing with an emotional gap he was dealing with a numerical god now we cannot read i will make him a helper are you saying the word love here or if god would have said i will make him a lover comparable to him so god was not thinking love he was thinking purpose the genesis of marriage is not emotion it is purpose and destiny and the moment you marry wrong you have already interfered with purpose now let's look at the next verse out of the ground the lord god formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to adam to see what he will call them and whatever adam called each living creature that was its name twenty so adam gave names go to twenty one let's uh okay and the lord god caused a deep sleep to fall on adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place man had to be asleep so that man does not master the system of creating helper because a helper ought to come from god if man was awake you would have seen the formula and he will not have needed god to bring him a helper because when you have the formula then you need don't need god you just need to manufacture help us hallelujah and and he took one of his rib and close up the flesh in his place and we'll come to this scripture 22 then the rib which the lord god had taken from man he made it into a woman and he brought her to man do you know you know physically a man has one rib missing on his left side you count your ribs here on this side for those who have been fasting well you can count your ribs some of you it is not possible it is true it is true hallelujah and the reason why it was on the left is because your weakness is always on the left side we don't wear the ring on the right because your weakness is always on this side so the one that comes comes to give support on the weak side so it doesn't mean that she's weak because if you are weak on the left and god brings another weak person then you will be weaker the reason why a man like me can stand today looking the way i'm looking is because a strong support came to empower the weak side of my life so it is a lie that women are weak i tell you no then it doesn't make sense because a weak woman brought down a powerful man in that equation who is weak okay let's talk if a weak woman brought down a powerful man even the devil knew who is powerful in this equation because this was a backup we have to change the way we see women because the success of many men is tied to the support they receive this is not a weak vessel and and he made into a woman and he brought her to their man now i want you to see the formula the first one is that god so it was not good for man to be alone now you need to ask yourself am i responding to pressure or am i responding to god has seen the second thing it is god who brought the woman to the man so it was not a man who went to search this is we are dealing with meat you see you can stay in a system and think that tradition is the truth many are searching now we have to ask ourselves where did god bring the woman because man was not doing rounding wendell the man was in a place called a den killing the land hallelujah what does eden represent the presence of god what does land represent purpose so your singlehood is connected to your purpose god never thought about love god thought about purpose so head then is the presence and garden is assignment and purpose and let me just be very clear there is what you are trained to do it is called a job that is not your purpose that is what gives you bread pays rent and buys you clothes but there is what you are created to do it is called purpose hallelujah so there is what you are trained to do but there is what you are created to do that is where your work is god never created jobs god created work but it is men who are working that are creating jobs am i speaking to somebody so now we need to understand that adam was in eden and god saw and man was working it was not a prayer item from adam that he was alone we don't see adam making a special prayer it is god who saw that this particular man needs support and i want you to write these three things because they are very key number one is that god god was dealing with a man that was alone and not lonely god was dealing with a man that was alone and not lonely number two the man was in eden in the place of assignment in the presence of god the man was in heaven in the place of assignment in the presence of god and number three god created a helper not a lover god created a helper not a lover the big picture is that god created a purpose meat a purpose meat are those three points clear are those three points clear number one god was dealing with a man that was alone not lonely number two the man was in heaven in work assignment and in the presence and number three god created a helper not a lover why is it important for us to understand these things because up to date god is still looking for a man in heaven in assignment to provide a helper i dated many women in my life and my relationships failed successfully the word successful is in capital letters they failed very well and you know the worst part is that every lady leaves a good man like me with one statement and i'm blowing my own trumpet hallelujah because it is my trumpet amen when a lady is leaving a person this is what they always say you're such a good person you're such a good man every woman will want to be with you and you feel like asking her are you a dude if if every woman will want to be with me so what are you trying to say about yourself but i discovered that in every woman there is a wife but not every wife is your woman in every man there is a husband but not every husband is your husband and until you come to that agreement you might end up with a statement all men are dogs and the question is what are you doing with all men hallelujah so so this is a myth god was thinking purpose not love god was thinking assignment not love but guess what when a woman shows up in a man's life and the woman is designed to be a helper automatically the man will love the woman because the man suddenly realizes something has come in my life and my work is becoming easier you see if you buy a car today it is for efficiency and if the car serves you well without breaking down consuming the right fuel you end up loving the car why it is making your work easier so there is such an attachment especially with men and their fast cars because it brings a lot of efficiency now the problem is when you get the wrong purpose meat i want to submit to you i was doing high school mission for 10 years and in those 10 years nobody recognized me as a pastor 10 years of preaching in high schools after that we began a ministry in town and in that ministry we served for around three years that was the truth mentorship society and we were struggling to grow and there were many ladies and because we have people we call matchmakers there is someone who thinks you need to get married to this kind of person now they looked at me i think they looked at the anointing and they said pastor you deserve an intercessor a prophetess a woman of god and some of them lined up themselves hallelujah they were prayerful women they will pray and prophesy with signs and wonders hallelujah especially when we say pray for your husband and future and you'll see them i receive now i was not looking for a competitor in the house i was looking for a person to come and compliment not compete now if all of us are prophesying who will prophesy surely i wake up at night and i tell my wife i just got a dream from the lord and she tells me u.s is not the real thing me i got a trance and you're like okay what kind of vows is this versana so the external world has ideas of who we need to settle with and i remember that particular time i was just seeking the lord and i told the lord you know that i will be in my head and not given up with the relationship i said i'm gonna go to eden and preach and allow god to bring the wife and the lord literally brought my wife literally these things of i don't know we met we dated she was literally brought that's a story for another day but what happened at that particular hour i'd given up on love and anything called relationship and i focused on my preaching and i said lord i'm not going to church to look for a wife because sometimes you're a preacher guest preacher and you see the worshiper leading worship and you say this ministry and that ministry when they come together that is revival so i told the lord i'm not going to look for a wife in church or ministry i will do you a work and then you do your work what is your work i will build the land and then you will bring the wife the woman are we together and we got married on the 21st of october 2017. then october november december i received the vision city of destiny church and i solely move three months after marriage and 2018 we began the church now what was my purpose ministry but i could not launch out into purpose without the helper that is why i will tell you never judge a man by where he is he is where he is because he does not have help it is help that pushes a man to manifest their purpose now let's assume i got married to a wrong woman will the vision have come no why she was not a helper that person would have assassinated my destiny and my purpose are you understanding these things so you need to go beyond what you feel this has nothing to do with feelings by the time you are 40 years old you will not be talking off from a place of feeling and you look at your wife and say i still love you no it will be my cooler buddhism appeal my journey very good why this is what brought us together purpose one has been now now some of you are getting flashbacks of home there is no la vidavi between your mom and your dad that thing ended long time ago i'm giving you the big picture you need it in the first year of oh my god kata see more panaway cutter you know that time you talk catalinico piguet you know stories don't then until you say otherwise 10 times otherwise that cafe will come to an end hallelujah so we must look at the bigger picture are we together we must look at the bigger picture men and women we don't settle because of an emotion called love there is something greater it is called purpose and it is either you are in purpose or pampers so when you get a man in pampers i tell you you'll do a lot of pampers changing it is not your role to raise a man or a woman up no that's not your role that is the role of the lord it is not your role to change a man to marry or change a woman to marry my friend your name is not jesus you are johna you can't change anyone the best person you need to work on is yourself live alone you know there are people that say maybe god is gonna use me to change listen the only person who can change is the holy ghost your second name is not john holy spirit no you are just a man work on yourself and when a person changes because of you one day they will also change and they will remind you i changed because of you i met a guy drinking and they said so the change was not genuine never change for a man or a woman are we together just be you let them know the package they are taking home it's a place you reach and you say take it all leave it this is me can i tell you from the one i told my wife i don't love dengue and i was not joking me even if you take me to kempinski and they cook dengue i still don't love them so no amount of gymnastics will change my life on dengue and one day she tried she prepared it in a very subtle way and i told her behold dango now you can imagine if the first time she made dengue i was like wow amazing i like it and deep down i'm struggling then six months into marriage i'm like but they don't like then we should ask what happened to the man who was enjoying them with them the second lie and the second myth is that it's women who love this is a myth we are made to believe that it is women who love no the order of love is not women no women receive love they don't love and it is there in your bible ephesians 5 22-28 there is a lot in this scripture that speaks volumes ephesians five wives submit to your own husband are you seeing the word own so don't get another man's husband and begin to submit it must be your own because we live in an age of pango it must be your own as to the lord the name submit there from the original greek word it is a military term whereby you submit because you acknowledge rank authority and power you are all in the same military uniform but you acknowledge this is an authority this is a man in charge and this is the one that has the power to run the house all of you are in the same military camp but because of order you do what you submit as to the lord now the name they are asked to the lord it means you don't submit out of the parameters of scripture so if a man tells you take moratina and you're born again don't submit it is not as unto the lord that this submission does not mean abandoning the ways of god to look submissive you submit in the ways of god so if a person introduces you to something that is error don't submit and according to heaven you are not rebellious okay one day we were driving with the proof and at that time none of us had insurance i mean we didn't have driving license both of us and by the grace of god prof reversed and he decided to deal with the wall and the screen fell the the one at the back and we can my wife works with the insurance she she would have organized and say i was the one driving because she has an i mean driving license and i hit the wall and the guy is insured but if a man that does not have a deal causes an accident it's a legal issue insurance cannot compensate you it was seven thousand we were building the charge and we went two pastors looking at her in a manner to suggest can you manufacture a lie and she looked at us and said i will not lie we had to manufacture 7000 and go to the garage and buy a new screen and we fixed it was she rebellious no we were trying to push her to submit out of the orders of the lord are you getting it and when she said no because i know the ways of god i knew you are right and i said i know now i have married a real wife because she has put the relationship of god above our relationship and that one will always put me in check and in order so a person who loves you and loves you more than god that's an accident and how do you know that a person loves you more than god i met a lady and she told me i'm in this relationship it is messy and we'll meet in the afternoon why because it is sexual and i'm like leave that guy and she's like you know i don't want to hurt him and i'm like you've already heard jesus jesus is already heartbroken so it's better you have to break jesus but don't have breaking lorry bonus vasana okay the name of the guy was not canary one spirit but i'm just saying some of us it is better we keep a relationship with the man but not keep it with god and that's why joseph said how can i do such a thing not against potiphar this is not about me and my master he said how can i do such a thing against my god there is a relationship higher that i observe which is beyond potiphar and i cannot break this relationship this is what provokes men to work in purity i rather be single but sustain this relationship because this relationship will fix every other relationship but if i break this relationship it cannot fix this relationship it is a language of order so it is men who love let's look at this and the standards of loving are very high for the husband is head of the wife as also christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of and will come to the scripture therefore just as the church is subject to christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything uh-huh husband everybody read no hold on every man read holy there is it in the bible you see the role of a woman is submit the role of a man is love now it doesn't end there you are given how to love now read how to love just as christ also loved the church and gave himself for the standards of love are so high just as christ loved the church do you know how jesus loved the church many people always think love is a reward even if my wife makes burnt offerings today i'm still supposed to love her you know burnt offering is where everything else is burnt so the name their love is agapeos in greek it is not emotional love it is unconditional love you don't love her because she's dressed nice that's not the time you hold her hand you don't love her because she has money and a good job you don't love her because she's a good cook you don't love her because she looks landed and gives you both a point with other men you love her unconditionally are you getting me because it is the role of a man to love the woman the difference between a man and a woman is that a woman is a womb man by the way god never created adam and eve eve is the name adam gave to the other adam god created adam and adam how do i know this when man fell there was a sound in eternity that says adam adam where are thou two adams because the difference between a man and a woman is a woman is a womb man and the womb nature is what makes everything about her life she's a recipient if you are a man and you are not a giver you don't need prayer you need strategy and in in her recipient nature is not that she's a gold digger no she was created to receive you can't change the order and the man was created to be praised you can't change the other one woman is sifu mummy i believe in you my husband is they may look like very simple wisdoms but many have failed because man expresses a dimension of god where he connects with faith you can never please god until you believe he first is man exist in that dimension of faith you must believe in your man more than anyone else and one of the psychological reasons of young girls coming into the lives of older women it is young girls celebrating the success of all the women and all the men and these men go for celebration because at home it is a campaign like that one of bbi uh hallelujah okay you know our government is a funny one amen the president says 2 billion is being stolen and he's the president and then the vice president says he's a recali and he's the vice president now you know that that's a very good example of marriage you are criticizing a man that married you you are supposed to work as a team now that one will understand and it will never get out of your head and so the man lives in a house where everyone is in opposition his children have been recruited to opposition and i can tell you the recruiting formula began long time ago well now we must change strategy you go to shopping and in that shopping you have the money and the trolley and they put everything there and then they package everything then they put in the boot mr kaninge strategy must change and then in the boot when their wife leaves she goes with bread peanut butter chocolate honey everything where will my patio has a bully tissue still you know my baba nagaseti amen no nae and all the children run to the mother why she has the good things what could i teach you though you are the one who paid but from the first day you have been pushed in a corner of being useless and then they come with a banana chewing and saying you know they look at you you are a very useless man in that house very kali loves my body i'm learning these things ali i'll be making sure she's the one who carries sabuni women don't enjoy all the good things and that is why some parents have raised children and they are now out of the country men one on anger every day the son calling the mother every day and ana piang was and then the mother shares a little bit of what the sun because the sun grew knowing that you're so useless subconsciously are you getting it subconsciously and the man is always abandoned so naomi i'm sharing siri this is where you look for an envelope and say pastor thank you for that wisdom amen amen now where are we it is men who are supposed to love are we together and and what happens is that a man has no capacity to love no you have no capacity but the way many people have said it's very hard to understand women and it is true it's very hard you can never understand a person until you try to play their role you can't you can't understand them and so the only way a man can know how to love is when he deals with love and god is love now this is the mystery when a man goes to god he does not meet god as another man you go to god as the bride of christ so when a man is dealing with god he's a woman and that is the only opportunity to understand this woman because when you are dealing with god you become a woman so the laws of operation here are the same laws of operation here are we together that is the time you become the bride of christ you need to be real you need to create time you need to be sincere you need god to give you his attention and his audience guess what the same thing is needed by that woman and the moment you understand this legal process of operation it will be very easy to deal with this other person because now you go to god as a woman and you relate with god as a woman but when you come to your woman you become like god to her hallelujah now it is men who love and it is unconditional it is not a reward let's look at roman 5 8. i remember one day i was going through a breakup and i heard a list of things that i had done to this lady the things i had bought her i had a list and and details data facts you know i i knew we were breaking up because i knew today this thing is uh so i blessed myself and i began to remind of the lunch as i bought her the clothes i didn't ask them back you know it was that point of kufanaske vibaya a joining america now when i grew up i discovered when you laugh genuinely whatever you give you don't record jesus now some of you remember the sibling problems you give a sweet to your brother he eats and finishes then you begin to attack us with the angle and they say not some of you that nataka mentality is still there up to now when it is genuine love it doesn't keep a record of sins when love covers a multitude of sins that's that's love now the bible says but god demonstrates his own love to others in that while we were still sinners christ died now this is god demonstrating love what is he saying that there is nothing we did to attract the love of the father he just loved us unconditionally it was not a good meal it was not a good character it was not good behavior god just loved you unconditionally and this is the template as christ loved the church so husbands ought to love their wives and when a wife is loved right she submits and the second thing she reciprocates you go and try it's a bad day throw a bash and prepare for that bash the day your birthday will come there will be our sub group set apart to prepare a surprise because they have a nature of reciprocating now if there is nothing you have invested one day she will just wake up and say i'm fed up because i am withdrawing from an empty account and you can never change the mind of a fed up woman even if you go with your senior bishop nothing changes why because for so long she was giving from an empty account now it has reached a place she has nothing to offer and she's empty hallelujah so if you want to be loved be the first to love invest invest does it need money no it's just your presence my wife used to earn more than me but there is no one day when we were dating i never permitted her to pay for any meal and we used to go for good dates not expensive the quality of good is the time spent together the first date i think one of the first dates we went for ujji which is very good by the way and i knew that particular hotel it's called gigi apparent and they serve hot porridge by the time it is sweet for consumption you have collected enough data because dating is not a feeding program hallelujah okay people have taken coffee for long be unique in your approach bonus if you will funny it was someone's idea let's do coffee maybe the girlfriend hakuna kunya they went for coffee now he oh jesus okay okay let's go you know i'm addressing different audience and i must address everyone um so so a woman is a woman and it is the role of man to love and the standards of love are so high that in the dimensions of how jesus loved the church so you must know how christ love jesus died for the church that is the level he went to we we are seeing a lot of breakups today because there is a problem coming up most of the men were raised by women and so we have men thinking like women it is error and that's why when a woman comes on board she's not looking for a woman she's looking for a man i don't know what to move him i'm gonna put your wife high five i'll help my god and i'm not moving my jesus what are you doing there well now can we have a talk man can we have a talk forget about these operas and these movies forget about how a gentleman opens a door he's not a creeper it is not in our culture you can open a door of a car but you have never opened the door of your heart so it doesn't matter how many doors you open and how many chairs you push there are two dimensions that every man must manifest the first one is called the teddy and the second one is called the bear i didn't understand why women love teddy bears that thing is ugly as a man go and google the picture of a teddy bear and see how ugly that creature is it is a fact she plays there is nothing beautiful hallelujah it is hairy but there are features in a teddy bear that communicate mysteries the first thing it is the will and wish of every woman to tame a man because it is very hard to tame a man and any time a woman tames a man she feels she's in charge and there is a time you have to allow your woman to tame you not all the times when you are tamed all the time you are useless you are not ordained to be in a zoo you ordained to be in the jungle hallelujah manning your territory and supervising your area of influence you can't be in a zoo and some of us are in zeus even when you roll no one cares because you're rolling in a place where you're confined yeah nah nah you don't make sense and you find some men even women say because he and some have mistaken it to be loved no there is a time you need to be a bear you beat your chest and say this matter i'm in charge stay there allow me to handle this this matter one day we had gunshots at home and my wife grabbed me and i said what an opportunity to be a bear i told the baby relax she said don't go outside don't go outside you know they are straight bullets and and i knew and i said relax i closed the door my is not in the service and then i tiptoed deep down i was afraid but it was an opportunity to prove you don't have just a table there is a bear then i went stepped on the toilet seat then beeped outside and came back and i told her everything is okay hallelujah tell your neighbor sometimes [Applause] no no no no just take an action of faith hallelujah i know this may sound like very basic things but i tell you the the joy of marriage is not in these things we see these guys on reality youtube shows you know trying to show us 14 days of celebrating love let me those things are scripted for god's sake they're just there for product placement you come to real life day to day it is the simple things that create great memories hallelujah so it's the role of a man to love his wife and just be a teddy bear amen once in a while i just came to discover i'm the manager in that house and i have to run the house not dictate if there is a crisis i call for meeting it is illegal when a woman tells you we need to talk okay there are times when they say we need to talk just know there is something that you have done which is serious one day my wife told me that in the presence of akina pasta jimmy they said pasiwacha twenty but it was not a serious matter it's something she wanted us to discuss but all i'm trying to say if there is a crisis a semantic charge begin the conversation there is an app in women whereby they can keep quiet for one month and you ask them are you okay and they're like take a s and you look at that face and you're like the face and the speech don't agree so you nicosawa singles bonus persona can i share with you ninety percent of the speech of a woman is first emotional before it becomes logical ninety percent of what men say is logical before it becomes emotional okay okay a friend of mine was about to get married in a week and they were preparing and so the the lady had visited the guy and they needed to use the car they had one car and the lady came and said um the guy told the lady the previous night i have a zoom meeting at 11 during this coffee time and so uh i need to be seated is a serious interview and the lady came at 10 30. i said can you drop me to town and then you come for the meeting and the guy is like town 11 it's 10 30. so the guy said these are this is how the guy said he said of course you know i can't drop you so you do this you pick an uber or get him a tattoo then go to town then once you're done you let me know you see the quest whatever he said was logical and very true whatever the woman was saying was illogical but emotional now at that tower the wisdom is as a man go to your mind and say logic setting retreat emotional setting update and then you say you know as i said i have a meeting but let me do this let me call an uber for you let the uber pick you if i finish the meeting on time i'll come for you you are now addressing the emotion and the guy the lady left and the lady said well not anybody my tattoo where tony pendy and the guy called me and told me where possible just understand there is an app called logic about emotion update and at that level you're like this has nothing to do with sense i'm just addressing the emotional side so man that is wisdom hallelujah number three the other lie is what people say the law of attraction the law of attraction the law of attraction jesus this day you cannot apply this law why because magnets attractive and dust i've seen a dusty magnet love does not operate under the law of attraction it operates under the law of grace it operates operates under the law of grace and this is the capacity to stand and withstand capacity to stand and withstand are we together every man or woman comes with measures of weakness measures of weakness so you will never attract a perfect person they have their weaknesses but you need to under separate between weakness and wickedness weakness are things that a person is sorry about and they they show the desire to change wickedness are things that a person is not sorry about and it doesn't want to change but you feel they're not in line with your values so every man and woman comes with measures of weakness are we together and so you need grace what keeps relationship is the law of grace the grace to stand and withstand some people look at me and they wonder who can marry this guy but i'm married to a very beautiful wife and some people also looking at my wife and they were wondering who will marry this woman because they didn't have the grace to live with her and the people who didn't have the grace to live with me are we together and marriage is like these two fingers you have your weaknesses and you have your strengths and never put a man down because they don't have your strength there is something people always say this is common sense maybe that is your strength remember you also have weaknesses and never focus on the weaknesses because you too have weaknesses and you have strengths god in his divine wisdom does not bring strength this is conflict this is conflict but this is completion so that a person comes to cover your weaknesses as you cover their weaknesses and they complement your strength and you complement there and when this happens this is a team you can't break and no one can claim success in this team my good preaching is a product of a woman that believes in me so you cannot celebrate me and fail to celebrate her because i i am a good orator or a speaker but behind the scenes there is a person who does my administrative work puts my suit on order checks my calendars and everything she's not on the pulpit but she works behind the scenes to make sure i am who i am [Applause] my wife came with a condition which is a very good condition it's called ocd it is orderly it's a condition whereby when you put something like this it must be like that if you tilt it like this it will disturb her for the whole day he has to return it like that and i was born with a condition called dcd disorderly god in his wisdom knew so in my house every suit has its hanger and everything has where it is kept there's a time we're building here and the kind just came and they needed a receipt i i couldn't remember and i called i said do you have the receipt she asked me which one the one we paid for building this property she said yes i asked her where she said you know i have a file for all the land dealings i say jehovah and in less than five minutes she took the photo shared it are you saying now i have my weaknesses and she has her strength and she just came to complete so we are not competing though there are weaknesses she cannot stand and there are some i'm still trying to adopt i'll give you very simple when you have that condition of orderly there is a place when i get in my house is like i need to leave my shoes here and sometimes you enter the house and forget whether or not and you know those are the moments when you meet in the corridor and the first thing she looks is and you have your shoes on and so now you begin to appreciate that it is a journey and so she has the grace to endure some things and i have the grace to endure some things are we together and that's why i said in every woman there is a wife but not every wife is here what if some of them can come and become a knife and in every man there is a husband but not every husband is your husband now the other lie and this one will tackle it in the afternoon is that sex is love-making i bless the lord we have sunday school so we can talk sex is this is the greatest lie that has ever been told sex has only three biblical languages you are either in consummation adultery or fornication there is nowhere the bible calls sex love-making hallelujah it is either consummation in marriage adultery and fornication out of marriage and you know we have to talk about these things from the pulpit the truth is we have lied to young people that get married so that you can get sex and some of you see marriage as a revenge forum for all the years i have abstained and it is error by the way because marriage is bigger than sex sex falls under intimacy in marriage not even love it falls under intimacy it falls under intimacy and there are seven expressions of intimacy and sex is one of them the first one is spiritual intimacy spiritual intimacy people call these a lot of intimacy spiritually you come here the same thing you pray the same prayers you are in the same church the same covering i tell you you hold your hand with your wife and pray there is such a connection are we together that is why we encourage people marry a person that carries your faith i remember i dated a girl who didn't believe in jesus she was a party animal but she was real and one day i went to a school and the holy ghost fell and was supposed to have lunch and i told her imagine the spirit fell in that meeting she told me don't give me that crap i said that crap is my life so you can imagine you are who you are because of that crap prayer that crap kesha that crap fellowship that is what made you but to another person is crap so you can imagine that thing already tains and damages you can't share about your faith there is a level even whereby people have what we call doctrinal issues some churches believe their church is the true one all the other churches are going to hell except they are they are church and so it's good to have a person that you have the same spiritual view because there is a lot of intimacy you can pray together hold hands agree imagine you believe in divine health and another person your child is sick and you're saying let's pray for the child and they're like this is common sense this one needs calpol you need to accommodate mumbi you know it brushes you down i know even people who are married and they're like because it looks like it is your god and when the bible says do not be equally yoked with an unbeliever it is because the first thing is that ayoke ayoke could only accommodate animals of the same species you cannot yoke a horse and a camel because as they are making the yolk they will consider the size of the neck of the ox and so it's either the yolk is too big when the yolk is too big it rubs your neck and it's painful when the yolk is too tight it chokes you when you are yorked with an animal that is not of the same species you don't have the same energies and capacity imagine you are carrying the same baggage you are a donkey and the other one is a camel so all the weight is on your side as you're moving in this journey off of life and some relationships are like that because you are yorked with the person who doesn't understand some things well no bianca familia every burden is carried by one person it's not right there is intellectual intimacy this is amazing you go to a place and just talk and talk and you can talk an intellectual has nothing to do with degrees there are many fools with degrees their conversation is full of foolishness no point they don't make sense you guys my guy you know it's nonsense but there are people you sit down and you sense they have content they have direction they have a vision you can engage and discuss bbi with your partner no no no no no no no no no no no more is away yes no yes no yes yes no oh god you know but now and they tell you their views you share your views let me there is such an intimacy because ladies and gentlemen we don't marry for sex can i be real with you in fact when you get married sex does not even become a priority it is always a priority when you are there standing that time unangled then the power what was the speech easy speech what's up please time is up after honeymoon is over sex does not become a priority you need a person you can talk sit down share life together the reason why people add weight is not food no one eats like a bachelor i was one bachelors eat a lot every day they take a buffet samosa matura mainly choma daily and you have never increased and then you get married and then bush bottles in asia it is not food it is because you have someone you can talk to the reason why you guys are sting is because you you walk in your house talking to yourself hey ah yeah when i get in my house i talk to someone and she may not give me what i want but that audience is very powerful and i feel the weight is taken out because an issue shared is half solved so intellectual there is also crisis intimacy things happen in life people lose jobs that's why you can't look for a financially stable person jobs go in this covet there are people who lost their jobs you can imagine if you got married because of a job when i got married i was in full-time ministry my wife lost her job the first time she came and asked me for 50 bob for air time i felt very nice i said what did you say okana 50 bubbling airtime 50 seems rich in zima and we began now to go through a cafe where money had escaped from us and we had real conversations it is easy to love someone because someone says finances always increase romance but if you went there for the money money comes and go are we together that's why you need to love a person for who they are and every marriage will always go through a crisis and how people handle that crisis it determines a lot in the future some become more intimate in the crisis and after the crisis because a crisis makes us vulnerable and makes us have conversation we couldn't have before when we are doing marriage counseling and even when people come to my office and tell me percy you know we are dating i always tell them i pray for conflict in the name of jesus because until there is a crisis or conflict you will never know who a person is wisdom dictates that a dog is a pet until you step on its tail that's when you know it's a beast personality is confessed but real personality is always known when he's expressed what do i mean the other one is financial we need finances are good by the way in a relationship amen are you getting it and i'll tell you this is the wisdom of finances if you have 10 bob and you're married in the budget of 10 bob include your wife make sure in every level of your finance she's part of your budget because the higher you go in handling money the more expenses you attract so if she was not a priority when you had 10 bob she will not be a priority when you have a million that's a fact so let in that 10 bob just say this one bob i'm going to buy sweet the day you get 10 000 you say this 1000 i'm going to buy a gift the day you get a million she will also be part of that so it is not about having a lot it is the little that you break down there is also emotional connection we are human beings there is a part of us that is emotional emotional intimacy it is there and then number six we have you know there's a connection when people have the same passions people have the same passions and number seven is now physical that is sex so we see these seven levels six levels of intimacy and sex is among the intimacy levels sex is not love are we together are we together and the truth is the held of the six determines the health of the seventh the health of the sixth determines the health of that now i'm trying to contain myself because some of you are not married and i don't want to give you too much information but if this was a couple's marriage seminar will tell them you can never have good sex if you don't have the six levels of intimacy hello so good sex has nothing to do with many other things that the world makes us believe it is these connections seller i know you love those stories but i will not go to them until the day you'll come to my office and we talk about marriage and intimacy and i'll tell you everything but at this level let me stop it there have you learned something up to that level have you learned something and when you are dating you have six possible ways of intimacy let the seventh one come after marriage because the moment you open the seventh door the six automatically die you will never have time for conversation a person comes you have sex and then you're like hey otherwise so you did for four years but all you are doing you're just having sex and the day you get married you discover you are too empty to connect we shall talk that in the afternoon are we together but for the sake of a person who may not come in the afternoon if you need sex to get a man you'll need a lot of sex to keep that man seller if you need sex to get a man you'll need a lot of sex to keep that and now the vice versa is when unless be real when it comes to sexual conversation it looks like there's a lot of responsibility towards women than men it's a fact okay if a man stands here and says i impregnated a lady and the lady stands here pregnant the pregnant lady will look more sinful maybe by the virtue of evidence and is a sad reality but the other sad reality when we come to sexual accusation a lady is accused of sex she does not carry the weight when a man is accused of sex that man will carry the weight if a lady stands here and claims she was ripped by this man whether it is true or not that man will look like a devil is it making sense so when it comes to responsibility it is like women carry a major weight when it comes to accusation men carry a major weight that's a fact and of course it's a product of many things one of them being our society so we shall con converse about that so in marriage sex has four purposes number one consummation consummation that's why sex is there so for consummation number two companionship companionship number three procreation so it's consummation companionship and procreation and i tell you there is pleasure in it it's not a lie i won't stand here and demonize sex but there is more pleasure when it is done with the right person in the right place i've seen people fornicating and after fornication they feel guilty and another one begins to cry there is no time a man who's married after having sex with a wife they don't feel guilty neither do they cry because it is done in the right context and someone said if you want to know you're in the right context of having sex is when you have ability to pray before engaging in sex and say father thank you for this day in jesus name if you cannot pray then what you are doing is praying p-r-e-y-i-n-g in the next few minutes let me share why marriages are under attack in five minutes and then we'll be out of this area is this resourceful because i've discovered we can be deep in scripture but we also need the instructions of day-to-day life are we together so that we balance between revelation doctrine mystery and how do i live today statistics show seven out of ten divorces divorce cases in kenya seven out of ten are weddings that were done in church so in every ten divorce cases seven are from church that is according to statistics a research was done by nation media and this was published on thursday think thursday or friday and they discovered there is such a rising divorce among young couples below five years of marriage such a high level of divorce it is so high that it is alarming the nation and i believe one of the reasons why divorce is very high is because of the myths i've addressed about love are we together and and also many people settle for all the wrong reasons so between one to five years many marriages are always under attack majority of the people don't go through proper counseling some people they take one day before they get married and the pastor tells them about marriage in one city it's impossible you can never be prepared for a lifetime covenant in one city what keeps marriages is not even prayer per se it is wisdom that's why there are men who don't pray but their marriages work because they have wisdom are we together and marriage is the only institution where you are given a certificate before you graduate have you ever wondered about that case you sign a certificate and then you're told from today you are married then you learn after being given a certificate because it's a learning journey now there are few reasons why marriages are failing the first one is people marry for all the wrong reasons people marry for all the wrong reasons and they're about six that have listed here one is society pressure you marry to make your mother happy to make your villagers happy you've been in the city for long and this december you are told not to go without someone so now because of that pressure you get married number two people marry for social status social status today marriage is like a rite of passage you graduate and then you get married and then you get children and then when you're 40 you get a condo that looks like that is the order of a man living in kenya so it looks like marriages are right off passage that now you've joined the man it's not a rite of passage people also get married to fit in all your friends are married and now you want to fit in i remember we were in this group and most of us got married almost in the same two-year span and a friend of ours found a girlfriend and he wanted to marry in three months we told him sir this is not a career take it slow three months no this is too quick and then later they broke up he discovered it was the pressure and pressure can be real amen pressure can be real so you try to fit in there also people who marry because of pregnancy and children this is a it's a grey area especially when i stand here as a pastor to talk it's a grey area because there are people who have suffered in an institution called married marriage because they never settled for anything but because someone became pregnant and carried my child and so they got married so no other connection and this is how people end up in abusive homes a place whereby you're treated like a nobody are you getting me and it looks like this party forced me and all these things now is it possible to love along the way it's very possible people are wired differently are we together and i'll say on this pulpit if you have a child outside there nobody has denied you the responsibility of becoming the father or the mother hallelujah because africa today we are leading in in africa kenya is leading in terms of single mothers this is a crisis in the waiting and the best thing if we sit down and just have a conversation within ourselves we are not telling you to marry the second wife we are just telling you be present for that child that child is innocent that girl that lady is innocent it was a mistake between you and the girl but the child is not a mistake so you must differentiate between your mistake and the destiny hello by the way our challenges are different okay so that this child does not suffer because of your mistakes let the child grow in the presence of the father and in the presence of the mother and allow me to say this it is hypocritical of us to move from one church to another so that we can run away from responsibility there is a place in life whereby you must embrace your shame as a medal hello there is a place where you need to embrace your shame as a and say you know what i've been through life i've been through messes and these are my messes so that you don't look okay on face value and deep down the things you're hiding hallelujah we are planning to do a visit with the men to go to the elderly home and hear their stories and some of them are there because their own children abandon them because they were not there for their children so you never know who you are raising that young boy a friend of mine lost his father and the father denied them when they were young he had around four wives on his death bed none of his children came except the children that were denied by the father so he left a major bill in hospital they were raising the money and the two sons that were most hated and abandoned are the ones who carried their father on his final journey hallelujah because if we don't fix now if we don't come and say hey guys there is a crisis this is our generation there is a mess we will we will have crisis in the incoming generation because there are children who will grow without knowing what it means to have a father and to have a mother and the gate of gazim lesbianism will be open because no one modeled the role of fatherhood and motherhood and i don't even like calling these women single mothers i prefer calling them rubies because in the walk of life many things happen are we together let's be real some of you is only that there is no evidence of pregnancy but if your files are to be opened in the spirit you know who you are yesterday you look very okay pointing fingers on the people you call single mothers and you don't know their story and where they are looking only other than thou and even setting parameters and saying they should not even step on the pulpit but there is no such a low in charge our sins are forgiven and everyone has a right to serve god if they repented are we together are we together this is a conversation we'll continue with it because we live in strange time we saw the teen's pregnancy remember where will those children go how will that teen mother be to that child what are the values that will be passed to that child and so some of us who are grown-ups me god gonzalinambia i'm bringing you and you will be a father of lepers so i always know that church i will pastor you know there are those who grew in church amen when you're on a palm beach or billboard well equal from as young as sunday school they have never let church praise the lord may god keep you and never leave church but they are those who ran to church smelling hellfire apparently worship dopamine and guess what if you are a pastor who grew in church all the years of your life you may never understand these ones who ran from hell and they love god genuinely amen let me just use an example of my one of the sons in the house you know he came he came in my office and he got born again in that office just stand you know did him a hotel joy you see joel the first time joel came in this church he had tattoos all over he still has tattoos and we began a journey you see joel is in a suit anonymous organisation and i've never called him to tell him change your dress code i've never we just loved him are you getting it and today this guy is running his own business god is restoring him and guess what if a guy comes with tattoos in charge of buddha and the one relationship what will he do he will just show him his tattoos you can have your seat you can have your sid joy and i'm not calling him to embarrass him he's a good friend are we together so all i'm trying to say we live in a time whereby we must take what we call religious standards and come to what we call fellowship and you have a past i have a past you have a background i have a background come with your medals of shame and medals of success and let's begin to fix life because church has become a place where we celebrate men that have medals of success and when they fail we dissociate where to because we can never have a heart-to-heart fellowship until we celebrate your scars me i want a church where men don't wear masks and a church where people come and they gather without makeup make up of each other pimples they are two different people so let's meet without makeup amen and have a conversation and then after that we can say you know what you're my brother i love you and i believe in you and we are still matching on when i began church god tells me i'm bringing you lepers people that are wounded broken beaten but they are saying we will not die here the camp of the assyrian we are going there because the deliverance of samaria is connected to our motion so irrespective of the pain they are saying so we have to move and this generation is leprous but they still have a destiny hallelujah so tell your neighbor neighbor come on gonna come totally india hallelujah and no one will judge you and one of the things you're going to do in the men's fellowship is to be real with one another and just say bro we're gonna come to india support us amen uh there are people oh oh jesus let me finish the i'm talking about the wrong reasons of marrying the people will also marry because of financial improvement you are strategically looking for a rich person so that your life can change and we even have a statement as a quote henry kulia korendrova i didn't drop ikona soviet so things happen in life you might get you might be strategic and get married to a person who's stable nobody knows about tomorrow who knew about covet businesses have gone down people that are making millions have gone down so you must go beyond their abilities and i tell you the most romantic thing is to make well together i remember my dad used to buy stools and my mom aliqua nashona vitambaza bakin afikawakati waki kosana they can't split the house because they don't even know where to begin some of us will engage in a paperback your task is even though a fully furnished house nothing you brought in that house expect yourself your appetite and your clothes and that is why when that man talks you are part of his achievements you are not part of him the language will be tukon agari so whenever not to do give me a level and that's why that man anytime you make noise he will begin by asking have i fed you have i clothed you have i paid school fees meaning on your list you are part of his assets and that's why i'm also against this concept of marriage negotiations because slowly we are planting an idea we went for good apparently 299. 299 numbers reducing 250. you know by the time the man is sitting there he had seen a wife but now he's seeing more durian and you're like no may this generation begin another culture that will not have such conversation to talk about our daughters five cows and my daughter no tell me how you came i bless you and you leave you become part of our family we become part of your family that because this thing some of them they bring a form of ownership and dominance were very faithful and you know they don't return to russia 1.2 million s i don't know maybe it's because i have a daughter nakazrika in advance number two the reason why marriages are fought number two is that marriages represent the image of god genesis 1 27 marriages represent the image of god genesis 1 27 marriages represent the image of god marriage represent the image of god marriage represents the image of god genesis 1 27 marriage represent the image god made them image he created him male and female he created that tells you when a male and a female come together they have the image of the father are we together so anytime there is an attack on marriage is an attack on the image of god and then number three the reason why marriages are under attack is because the blessings of god are in marriage genesis 1 28 the blessings of god are in marriage genesis 1 28 the bible says then god blessed them are you seeing them it doesn't say him and god said to them are you thinking about them what did he say to them now these are the blessings be fruitful multiply feel the earth subdue it have dominion and then we are given the areas over the fish of the sea over the bars of the air and over every living thing that moves on the earth so the them blessings are under attack because they can't come when you are still in him and her dimension and that's why church 2018 we began church the the the rate of acceleration and growth that i've seen in ministry after getting married i did ministry for around for 14 years struggling after marriage boom the blessings of them things began to work even people and suddenly people get married and those who open there is a blessing in marriage are you getting it there is a blessing the first thing in marriage is that when two people hold hands one they are not just holding hands they are standing on a covenant and god is a covenant rewarder i'll say this what ab single man can pray for one month a couple can secure that thing in one day one month of town speech zepaku le predica me and my wife father thank you we give you glory in jesus name tomorrow boom you day 28 nothing because we are partnering and standing on a covenant and number four the final point is this is the reason why marriages are still under attack is marriage revealed the mysteries of christ and the church marriage reveals the mystery of christ and there and the church ephesians 5 29 marriage reveals the mystery of christ and that and the church if when paul looked for all the things to write so that he can explain how church and christ look like he picked the institution of marriage ephesians 5 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourished and cherished it just as the lord does there the church and by the way god tells us to love our wives the way we love our own bodies because you cannot love your head and forget the body in fact most of us even forget to shave but we have never forgotten to dress the body meaning that their body takes preeminence when it comes to to how we take care of it so the the wife is compared to your body and this body is also compared to christ and that's why we need christ kind of formula and christ kind of mindset to understand how to deal with a woman and the bride the secrets of the success in marriage are always in the bible we are going to take two minutes it's not a must for you to stand those that are married i want you to pray for your marriage hallelujah them that are not married i want you to secure that gate in the spirit and just tell the lord mine will work we live in a time where out of the atmosphere divorces are heavy but i tell you there are two decisions that are very keen life the person you marry and the decision of salvation and today you have an opportunity just open up your mouth and secure that gate those who are not married secure that gate it will not be hijacked it cannot go wrong it is possible to operate under mysteries and get hijacked at the gate of marriage and some of us we need to commit our marriages unto the lord and declare lord this one will work yes there is an attack on marriage but mind will not go down some of us we got married because of all the wrong reasons i know because of your presence in that marriage the lord has the ability to change the story and change the narrative some of us our spouses are not even born again stand as an intercessor and plead and plead for their lives and plead for their souls how you entered sometimes does not matter sometimes you look back and you're like i've been here for so long and i cannot walk out right now but begin to cry and intercede for the soul of that man or even the soul of that woman them that i marriage and you are together begin to pray for the blessing declare that nothing shall come asunder nothing from the pit of hell is going to be released there are many attacks on marriages even in this nation the president appended polygamy as appeal even constitutionally we are not preserved but we bless the lord there is one who preserves marriages many doors have been opened many things are happening but may the lord give us the wisdom may the lord give us the grace the capacity to stand my marriage is going to stand my children will be raised in a complete house may you even pray for grace some of us that have a past where we messed up we have children outside may we pray for the healing of hearts may we pray for the grace to go outside there and embrace these children of us our own and carry them on and raise them as their parents without any shame and embrace it and just carry on let the wisdom of heaven be upon us let the grace of the father be upon us i declare over every marriage under the sound of my voice you will stand you will stand i shield you from the attack of the enemy i shield you from the arrows of sponsors arrows of another woman all these ladies that rise as i declare those appetites have no power and ability in your own life yes i know they are there but they shall not consume you may the holy ghost give you self-control may the holy ghost ignite the old passions of love when you met together may that vibrancy come back in the mighty name of jesus may this be a day when marriages are going to be healed may this be a day where every struggling and bleeding marriage let them be healed today in the mighty name of jesus may the lord begin to move now may the hand of the father be upon marriages you will not die out of depression die out of stress we call every father to all the single mothers we call the fathers of your children wherever they are may they show up and take up their responsibility may they show up and become the parents and become to model the role of these children in the mighty name of jesus wherever they are made the lord touch their hearts may the lord touch their heart may the lord heal them where they abandon their roles may they arise and fix what they did let the grace of marriages be released let the grace of sustainance of marriages be released hallelujah i pray for every single mother under the sound of my voice people that have been crying carrying the burden alone i declare oh god may wisdom begin to prevail on how to raise this generation in the name of jesus i pray for everyone that desires marriage i declare may you enter that gate in the right way may you enter that gate in the right way in the mighty name of jesus i pray for young couples and i declare let the wisdom of heaven be upon you everything that attacks marriages will not have power in your life in the mighty name of jesus may you cover one another may you work together as a team and may you see the blessings of working together as a team in jesus mighty name in jesus mighty name this is a matter we cannot finish in one service to pray about amen hallelujah because also some of us came from broken homes and it has affected even how we relate with other people because the template that was laid was a wrong template and so it takes a healed and a complete heart to move in love and in passion hallelujah hallelujah we are praying for you amen and i want to tell you as your pastor don't be ashamed of your scars we also have our scars and we are wearing them as our medals amen i'm not here to raise a hypocritical church i'm here to raise a church that is willing to go to heaven and a church that we can't talk amen i'm here to raise a family i'm here to raise people and i'm not here to raise men to gauge one another there is no righteousness parameter as we grow in truth we grow in many things hallelujah

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Published: Thu Feb 18 2021