love is...

hey do you remember that cartoon the angry beavers yeah I hear they're bringing it back they're calling it the view oh hey Internet well what's this oh this is my CD that's currently available online and in stores oh look it's got a live CD in a DVD with my Comedy Central special on it you should really buy this pour it higher Somali and a pirate for you I [Music] love your like Kings love Queens like a gay geneticist loves designer jeans I need to let New Orleans needs a tryout like Hitler's father needed to learn to pull out and I want you yeah like a where slash mathematician once I've got a proof and I want you yeah like JFK wanted a car with a roof [Music] because love is are taken a dive and getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool and love it is a real life porn - all the stuff that makes porn cool and love is all on the sky searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and find in a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain because he was hungry in the first place because I love you like Dora loves maps like the Pope's toilet loves holy craps it's a little I need you like a foyer needs a branch like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland Ranch and I want you yeah like all the Gothic kids that look exactly the same never one to conform and I want you like Anne Frank wanted nobody to read her [ __ ] diary his diary collects his secret things though I'm supposed to read that's the whole point of the diary millions of people have breached his little girls privacy after she was chased by Nazis kick her while she's down and if we met in 10,000 BC I was your caveman and used my cave lady we got we'd start running if we got hungry we'd go clubbing there's woolly mammoths but I will protect us he making me devolve to a Homo erectus oh and if we met in 1780 I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you and my dark-skinned servant lady slave whenever I could get away from the missus that go to your [ __ ] and then that steal you kisses well let's be serious that's the working full-time as a slave there's a difference between romantic language or the complete disregard for socio-economic trade if we met in 1941 I was a Nazi and use a gypsy on the run ever done that that probably wouldn't worked out okay because love is your favorite food for every breakfast lunch and dinner and love is the Holocaust if you don't die quick and you don't get love is a being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape now you don't want to reduce it at all because if the rate rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales without rapist who's gonna buy [Music] love is all about whistles by my CD we're don't

Channel: boburnham

Views: 8,491,288

Keywords: boburnham, bo, burnham, comedy, central, cd, standup, stand, up, song, funny, love, huh, duh, woot, poop

Id: 9Fg-dQxQOEs

Length: 4min 7sec (247 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 16 2009