Louis C.K Live Comedy Special : Reason for Women || Louis C.K

hello thank you thank you very much thank you so you only think abortion is here's what I think here's what I this is what I think here's what I think I I think you should not get an abortion unless you need one in which case in which case you better get one I mean seriously if you need an abortion you better get one don't [ __ ] around and hurry that's not I'm not getting an abortion that you need is like not taking a [ __ ] that's how bad that is it's like not taking a [ __ ] that's what I think I think abortion is exactly like taking this [ __ ] I think it is 100% the exact same thing as taking a [ __ ] or it isn't isn't it's either taking a [ __ ] or it's killing a baby it's only one of those two things it's no other things so if you didn't like hearing that it's like taking a [ __ ] you think it's killing a baby that's the only other one you get to have which means you should be holding a sign in front of the place people hate abortion protesters they're so shrill and awful they think babies are being murdered what are they supposed to be like no it's not cool I don't want to be a dick about it though I don't want to ruin their day as they murder several babies all the time I don't think it's killed a baby I don't I mean it is it's a it's a little bit it's a little bit killing baby it's a little bit it's a hundred percent killing baby it is it's totally killing a whole baby but I think that women should be allowed to kill babies that's what I think they should be allowed to kill babies do some shots and kill some babies I kill like Farah babies last night it is [ __ ] [ __ ] I just think it has to be one of the other you know like when people say abortion should be legal safe and rare why ringer if it should be legal if it should be legal it's it's [ __ ] if it should be rare it's murdering babies but again women should be because two reasons I think women should be allowed to kill babies number one I don't think life is that important it's just not it it is not people get too excited about life oh [ __ ] you it's not that it's make a list of every shitty thing ever that's in life life is okay I like life I like it I don't need it I'll be fine without it I like life though I do you know how much I like life I have never killed myself that's how much I like it that's exactly how much I like it with a razor thin margin I like it precisely enough to not kill myself it's an option though it's totally an option I'm out 49 I have two kids I flipped through the brush or a few times I thought of killing myself just to win an arguments you're not supposed to talk about suicide even to your shrink of suicides and you're like no because if I say yes you'll press a button and folks will run in and hold me pull them down but you should be able to talk about it it's the whole that's what the whole world is just made of people who didn't kill themselves today that's who's here is all of us that went out okay I'll keep doing it it's because this it's an interesting thing about life life can get very difficult very sad very upsetting but you don't have to do it you really don't have to do it you don't have to do anything you never have to do anything because you can kill yourself if they send you a letter from Motor Vehicles you have to come in and no I know I'll kill myself you can do that you could do it once but you can do it and it's interesting because even when life gets bad people generally choose it over nothing even the worst versions of life even a shitty shitty life is worth living apparently because folks are living the [ __ ] out of them you ever seen somebody you're like how did he kill himself wait you ever been driving and you look at the next car and you're like oh [ __ ] I wish I hadn't looked in that car that was difficult to glance at let alone being it just a guy in a tan car nobody chooses tan nobody picks tan for their car they give you tan is that mine yeah it's yours [ __ ] loser made it tan they shouldn't even make tan cars it's mean to make them you look over you see a guy in a tank car with just dents all over in the garbage back for a window what is holding up his suicide what is delaying it what is keeping him from stopping being that and what would it take what would it take what would it take both windows are garbage but seriously dude how much misery is involved in a garbage bag for a window do you know how many separate moments of [ __ ] misery they cancel my assurance here's the truth running away will not solve your problems that's totally true but killing yourself solves all your problems it actually does it even solves world's problems for you what about Isis kill yourself then they'll never get you seriously everybody who's afraid of Isis kills themselves right now then Isis loses because they live in a world of people that don't give a [ __ ] we're gonna cut his head off okay it's not fun now I think the worst the worst thing about being beheaded is that you look really dumb right after that's the worst part they go like that yeah just that's [ __ ] dopey I don't think they like by heading bald people because they can't do this thing that's the best part they gotta go like this it's not as cool so just shave the top of your head and you won't have to worry about it so that's the first reason that's the first reason I think women should be allowed to kill babies cuz life is not so important second reason is because that's their job women have to decide who lives and dies that's because they're the female of the species in the in the reproductive arena that's what the female does they are the selectors they have to decide this we give them this responsibility when we [ __ ] them we go here you decide what to do with this [ __ ] see you later and she has to figure out if you should have kids if she should have that's her job because women have judgment men have intent men just want to spray the world with their [ __ ] just mist more of me it's her job to go that's enough of you I think no that's really enough I don't think that face needs to repeat I've seen your father and it's not getting better and sometimes she doesn't realize this until after you [ __ ] her that's actually the one who she really knows is when you're like yeah she's like I'm not having this piece of shits baby and that's that's why abortion is the last line of defense against shitty people in the species but we need them to abort every shitty baby I mean all animals do this animals do it late eat this one but when we when is it okay when should they be allowed when it's in their [ __ ] that whole time it's in [ __ ] if there's a dude in your [ __ ] you get to kill him I think that's pretty fundamental you're allowed to kill people if they're in your house [Applause]

Channel: Mr Louis

Views: 2,800,411

Keywords: louis ck, stand up comedy, comedy, ck, louis, jokes, plane, best of louis ck, louis ck 2020, louis ck best, louis ck stand up, louis ck full, Louis CK new, Louis CK Sincerely 2020, Louis CK Sincerely, louis ck joke, louis ck 2020 back special

Id: tBbC2krBopw

Length: 11min 50sec (710 seconds)

Published: Thu May 21 2020