Living with Someone Who has a Mental Disorder

hey guys it's Amanda also known as amateur Aries and today we're doing another kind of let's talk but it's more of a different kind of let's talk it's actually exact let's talk he is my husband and caretaker he takes care of man he's gone through what he's gone through for about six years now today everybody get his experiences on it I don't know how to start this so I wrote down a few questions and see you know what he answers to it cuz you know it's his personal experiences and how he handles it and how he handles me and everything bringing episodes all right first question how would you like to have been told about my mental health if you have like a specific way being told [Music] well from what I've experienced there really isn't a good or bad way to be told about it mostly because of the fact that no matter what it wouldn't have changed the issues that she has when I was first told she's had these issues I'm pretty sure my reaction would have been the same any other way she would come at it but they came out as like okay that's fine you know I haven't experienced any yet when I was first told about it so I really didn't know the severity but you can be told about it as many times but until you experience it you're not gonna know what it's really like so no matter what way it comes out it it doesn't change how it really is how do you handle the schizophrenic episodes not the borderline let's get your friend ones the schizophrenic ones I handle oh really well really well the borderline ones I mean the schizophrenic ones mostly are her reverting to a like childlike state can't talk can't do anything until she kind of comes out of it and can be on and off where she just kind of like sits there blanks out rocks a little bit makes some moaning noises to get my attention or anything like that and sometimes she'll come right back out of it and then be doing what she's doing so when it comes to those I'm great how you'd respond to those fairly well there are other times though where she has other episodes from schizophrenia that isn't childlike but it's kind of I don't know how would you say it like the depressing ones were you're kind of like yeah yeah she's kind of emotionless everything is terrible even what she's into at the current time we'll just be dead to her those ones are a lot harder for me to handle because I can ask her and do anything for her that she could possibly want and it doesn't fix the issue which that's sometimes the case but it's hard for me because I feel like I'm failing how about the paranoia the paranoia well depending on what the paranoia is fixed on I can help it and then there are some things that I have caused in the past that the paranoia is fixated on and no matter anything I do oriented or say to reinsure her can fix that because it's one of those things that no matter what the situation is there's always going to be that what if there so how about there really odd ones words like that doesn't make any sense [Laughter] like that Charles Manson woman I had Charles Manson was coming at me in the shower I was like oh my God he's it was after he passed away by the way also oh my god he's gonna come at me why just you what pinpointed him to you and my answer was I don't know but he's coming for me when it comes to those like nonsense ones I sometimes take the wrong approach I'm like why and then I already know why and that can actually cause an episode you gotta tread carefully and not make it seem so petty Kristen it's really happening for us like what I thought that was happening I thought someone was gonna come at me in the shower with a knife I firmly believed it was happening weed was reality and he was like well whatever it's not gonna happen you're fine go shower just like yeah you gotta treat it seriously with them because I mean once they come back to reality cuz it's delusion that's what it is it's delusion that yeah so what you need to do is just comfort them as if it's serious don't go with it just say everything's okay do you want me to sit in there with you or something yo yeah you just need to do is calm down the fire not take a bucket of water with a little bit of oil and try and put it out because most likely the oil is gonna catch that's borderline so you just need to roll with it take it calmly because I actually did cause an episode with that I was freaking out set me the shower at night by myself by the ways like 1 o'clock in the morning I actually told her to bring the cat in there with it oh just take the cat learn from my failure and when you have those kind of delusional episodes don't knock them off at something whatever your stupid crazy no you don't do that just don't feed it just reinsure them nothing is gonna happen and comfort them and then when they come out of it they'll tell you yeah I don't know why but sometimes there's time to were in this kitchen friend's life or a bike it might not ever go away you might hit that point with schizophrenia work you might be out of it for maybe a minute and then you're right back in it that's the scary thing about schizophrenia because I'm at that young age where it hasn't gone that far yet but it can in the future if I don't seek medical treatment and that's the scary thing about schizophrenia but I think I'm more scared of my borderline than anything let's let's talk about how you handled my borderline Oh can we just skip this I mean no I have I may not have her issues but I have a short fuse when it comes to like Russians especially if I especially if I feel like The Situation's petty which once I get mad or a little irritated I'm not thinking as straight as I should be there are some times where I can prevent episode from getting worse but sometimes like is she can't control what she's saying and we're doing or how she I'm sorry for the noise in the background we live next to a church sorry for the noise in the background continue but you got to learn when it comes to someone who has borderline they're never gonna mean what they're saying and I know firsthand that when we get mad as regular people without these disorders that the same thing will happen it's just that we can calm down and get over it right after the fact they they can't they can still be mad about it hours after the fact I can be up I can be mad for days yeah she'll bring it back up anyways and she'll start the conversation again later and all and I really don't have a different answer but the whole thing is about a borderline episode with me is that if I feel like I'm being attacked no matter who you are whether you have borderline or you're just a regular person being you know a jerk to me I usually respond negatively to that and I will respond back in retaliation yeah but you've gotten a lot that he used to be a lot worse he's definitely gotten better at that yeah and I mean generally when there's people I have patients for days and how you go to work and I could have a rude customer and I can walk away from the fact but you know I've also been known to give it back to the customer anyways I can generally walk away from it the only one that can really get me as mad as mad as hell it's her and that's because I love her and then you know I hear these things coming out of her towards me I feel like I'm a terrible person or I'm failing in some way or form and I try to really you know reprimand the fact and then like from the ways I failed in the borderline brings those back up that's a ways I'm not going to you know improve change or do the things I say I'm gonna do yeah I mean like you just keep getting shot down and I'll tell you right now there are some times where you can't calm the borderline down and sometimes you just need a lot of vent just let them keep venting and if they ask you a question I mean everything can be wrong there is no such thing as a right answer because you could give them what they want and they'd be like no no you're just saying that or they'll come up with some reason why you know it's still wrong even though you just said what you know they want it that there is no reasoning with borderline so you just gotta learn to be a wimp take it okay don't be the tough guy tough girl don't try to retaliate be a wimp take the beating take the all that let the borderline calm down because it's not their fault they're not really meaning what they're saying okay you can't be mad at them you can't most of the stuff that's coming out of them is things that you've upset them with so it could be something small yeah so you just gotta remember you could kill a fly and you know without old saying you kill a butterfly you'd like destroy the future or you crazy time away yeah that's kinda like how this is you kill the fly you just set the devil off okay you know you don't want to make it any worse sometimes it won't be a person who's four I could just be that something happens to me like all right I had a nightmare before and if he and I warned him like hey I'm on that edge I can feel it in me now I can warn him about it sometimes you just I don't think he thinks about when I give the war like hey try to be on your best behavior where you don't say anything that you know might tick me off a little bit cuz sometimes he just does that he just finally Oh business did you really have to say that I really have to say I'm belligerently annoying I love being stupid making stupid comments noises I love doing all that son entertains me but it annoys the hell out of her and I mean it's it's bad but it's good because you know I see that as entertainment as well but that's beyond the point it's not entertainment when I'm when I'm screaming and then afterwards I'm crying I know I know when it causes an episode I feel bad cuz I it's not the point there there are times when it doesn't cause anyway there's times that doesn't cause an episode and you know we have a little fun with it but that's rare she you know see points I need to learn the good times when to joke around and be playful depending what you're joking around about well there are sensitive subjects no one should ever joke about ever anyway it's not like I intentionally hurt him and then afterwards I'm not sorry about it I do apologize and there was a sighs in a relationship because he was like hey you should apologize for the you say and do anything so it was a look and I'm like I can't control the things I'm saying being these episodes that it's that like I'm not sorry but it's not me either and that's the way of borderline feels and one day I will get to borderline let's talks and we'll get to it just schizophrenia the great thing about schizophrenia is you have keys in schizophrenia you can talk about like the who's nation's paranoid borderline it's just a bunch of cute yeah it's a big plate full of WTF how does it how does having a wife who had these disorders make you see the world compared to before them well I was never really good with relationships growing up so I'll be 100% honest with it at my view on the world still hasn't changed that you know I've had everyone has what they think they want in you know for the future if they're not currently in a relationship so when I got with her what I thought I wanted and what I actually do want or two different things so didn't really change my outlook on the world but it has changed me when it comes to that I mean I still see the world is a beautiful place even with the terrible things that happen in it so it doesn't does it make you more open-minded well I've always been open-minded I mean when you work what oversleep I want to see Patrick the other one was Andrew you can see you work for someone else that has schizophrenia now if you would have walked into that beforehand without having known me you might have approached that a little bit differently oh yeah I definitely changed like I said myself but I've never you know how to handle a situation like that yeah say he had an episode he knows he doesn't know how to fully handle it to that type of person or that person with that type of schizophrenia but he not me knows how to think take it like everyone else calm down this is a situation call his family I'll help them a little bit I'll try making realize you know what's going on but you know how to ya know how to take the steps now yeah and even even when it came before this relation before I learned borderline or anything if someone was like going a little like crazy or like losing themselves a little bit I've never judged them differently than I do now I mean I can generally tell when there's an issue and I learn to defuse a situation as best as I can or to get someone else to help with it and I don't judge the person for having these issues or anyone else you know it it's so it hasn't really changed my outlook on the world it hasn't changed at all I was hoping you would say oh yeah it's definitely open my mind things that could happen to other people's brains it's it's how you see them a little differently you see people's people's brains differently now he's noticed that delusions paranoia is a real thing people can see things are not really unlike my dad who doesn't believe any of that well get more detail done with your question because I mind you I'm extremely detailed to him never being detailed the question I didn't write down how do you here know people who after meeting me and see me my episodes have judged me how do you handle oh well I generally tell them depending on how the episode went if they kind of felt targeted or if they were very uncomfortable or if they felt bad for me for some reason I tell them not to worry you know it didn't it's not going to change the way I feel towards her and or the way she's gonna treat you as a regular person it was an episode she doesn't mean the things she does she doesn't generally even care about these things it's just like something small borderline decided to pick up on and or if it's the schizophrenia part is like she saw this it's okay she's called you ain't got to worry about it she isn't a threat to you already one day towards me no one else I'm the only one that's it's gonna take any damage but I generally also diffuse them on their worries about it because people who haven't handled borderline and or schizophrenia before do not know how to react to it and or feel about it and generally that's the reason why you know they don't tend to hang around a lot we've met a lot of people who actually have stuck around and it can handle it really well by themselves I ever walked with with her to her she's like she's settled in seconds on the hello hell does this woman do this yeah I mean so I mean really with them they were naturals from the start and there was no need to be warning but I mean they would pick on me and be like oh you messed up because usually it was because of me so I normally don't go into a borderline episode that often ELISA is something happy throughout the day that I always gave him a full word I'm not angry at you right now but if I start showing irritation watch out and like I said before he kind of he ignorant ly steps on my toes and makes the border line go from that traffic jam that made me had to stop for five minutes to Zach I'm no good damn reason but I'm gonna go after ya that's the best stuff for me to be in the backseat instead of the passenger yeah yeah but um talk I meant all of our all of our friends they do generally really without me having to say a word I mean there was all there was that beginning conversations like yeah she has these issues but I didn't have to like coach them on how to a lot more people are handling it very well if you tell someone that oh my wife is Corrine oh okay they don't see me be a bat bothered by it anymore back in the past like oh well being bothered by and then knowing how to handle it when an episode of Kurds are two different things how have people approached mental disorders help people people are more open now about this type of stuff because if people are being more educated about it yeah compared to the past where they thought schizophrenia was split personality disorder which I still get into comments saying that I had dissociative just just sort of seeing identity disorder which are two completely different things from schizophrenia and that it's not even close to the same thing yeah you don't know why people keep saying you have did know she doesn't have split personality disorder because I live with her she's the same Amanda 24/7 people with borderline had an extreme amount of emotions meaning if they're depressed they are on a higher level depression than the average depressed person if they're sad they're in a higher level of sadness than the Redwoods that person if they're happy they're an extremely happy weight when I'm actually happy I'm extremely energetic and I'm going like everywhere in seconds imagine being five years old excited about this new toy you just got I freaked out that's how she is as an adult every single emotion provide the reason why you don't let me work there's a lot of factors that tell me it's worse for her to get a job go through any particular situation because say I work at Walmart full time the stress that won't work puts on an individual is not okay for anyone with borderline to go through schizophrenia I stole I'm on the fence about that like I said I have a co-worker that of schizophrenia he's a great worker great guy I love him and I'm worried about him right now because he's going through some issues yeah so I'm really hoping everything gets worked out with him because he's also a medication - yeah they got him you know on the right medication he's doing great and I just hope he's okay but he shows that he can work with what he has and he might have a different form of schizophrenia there's three different forms if I'm correct or for I think four or five I keep forgetting it I was way off disorganized catatonic phrenic paranoid um schizoaffective so super cord i think that i think there is one more now and i do not okay so there's four different types and they all effects the individual differently so i'm not sure if he has the same type as her i know he he she's paranoid he he just hears voices and you know he responds back to them which is a lot of the schizophrenias have a lot similar things but delusions usually means sorry this disorganized usually means that i don't know what that means my thinking like has to do with them get lazy easily or so i don't remember kena tonic is where they kind of just go kinda like i do a lot you blank out a lot but I know I'm a paranoid schizophrenic because my paranoia is extremely high you you have way more paranoid schizophrenic catatonic and I've been diagnosed by a psychologist that I'm just I have stuck with that readers I haven't been with any other psychiatrist long enough to be rediagnosis or written down for it so I mean again if you're underneath the right medication you're level-headed you're able to do your work you know you're not falling asleep you know if you're able to get a job great please do it because it'll make you feel better to know that you're earning a living you're working hard just like a regular Society yeah she doesn't feel part of society and YouTube is what's actually helping her feel like she's doing something so that's another reason why she does all these videos and has several channels she does really well with it and she makes a little bit of money and it makes her feel useful okay how do we handle this all together after having to deal with it like how do I find a better way of describing it after this after an episode how do I handle how do you handle it person having to deal with so much stress from all this I know a lot of people are asking me cuz it's a lot it's stressful for someone to take care of someone like me okay when it comes down to it what I do when it comes to handling the stress the only thing I'm stressed out about it is maybe saying the wrong thing and or causing an episode because when it comes to our schizophrenic episodes those are completely different the ones I try to avoid that I worry about the most is the black skin how you handle it now how you handle the episodes how do you handle it as a person afterwards how do some people go to talk groups some people do this I let it go you know I don't let it sit inside me and I want to pick a fight about it later or I don't let that stuff bother me what I do if for a stress relief is that I work I love to work period Nate I love going to work if I spend more than two days three days off from work it bugs the crap out of me and I go to the gym a lot I go to the gym five to six times a week that all helps with any physical issues that I want to exert and other than that I don't hold any issues other than that I know certain buttons not to bring out not to say not to talk about ever and usually those things avoid prevent a lot of the episodes but sometimes like we've already said I'm stupid and you know that that annoyance causes an episode so I'm gonna come to that I can't control it but I let it go okay I don't worry about it episodes are going to happen you cannot prevent them they're just gonna happen you just need to learn to deal with it when it happens even with medication they can still occur it's called relapsing doesn't mean it's gonna curl all the time it's just gonna be drive down a lot yeah yeah it's just gonna happen yeah I mean my philosophy is is if you're constantly worrying all the time constantly stressed out you're not living your life you're you're surviving and that's not a way to live the best thing you could do is not worry about it make their life fun make your life fun and just enjoy the moment okay I hope you guys enjoyed like comment and subscribe if you have any questions to me or to tell us I'll write them down and I won't try to get to a video again so hope you guys enjoy this and keep watching for more videos

Channel: Amateur Aries

Views: 29,414

Keywords: mental health, mental health awareness, schizophrenic, borderline, living with someone who has a mental disorder, taking care of someone with a mental disorder, caretaker, mental health disorder, mental health vlogger, MUA, Makeup Artist, Beauty Vlogger, Vlogger

Id: ngwHfknmZkA

Length: 24min 24sec (1464 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 29 2018