Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once - Michelle Dubois Compilation - 'Allo 'Allo!

don't move my name is michelle dubois thomas varushud listen very carefully i shall say this only once i beg your pardon i shall say this only once no i didn't quite catch your name my name is michelle dubois you are rene yes i know that i will sit down just listen we are members of lifeland our mission is to assist the escape of allied airmen and get them back to england so they can fight again until yesterday we had a sephausen nuvion unfortunately it has been blown it was terrible it was a little cafe just like this with a patron just like you they took him and his wife out into the town square and shot them in cold blood i shall never forget the look on his face as he stood there he was the greatest man i ever knew he sang the marseilles tribar into the second curse a valet of shot rang out and he slumped against the ropes that held him to the post why are you telling me this your cafe is to be the next cephas oh well if you don't mind my saying it's not a very good choice no this this house is most terribly unsafe it is crawling with germans but you are on very good terms with them well yes and again no let us say we get on well we have to do we not i mean just because they're the enemy does not mean you can be rude to people not in my business good you are about to perform a great service for france the escaping airmen will add error until you give them their forged peppers where will i get forged papers a man will live here in your cellar he is an expert for sure he will forge the peppers and give them to you oh well could i not just post the papers to wherever the airmen were before they came here save them a journey i mean it's no trouble i would even pay for the stamp if the letter was intercepted it would be trust back to you and you would find yourself in the town square dead your way is best michelle this is my wife edith i have told her everything will she talk incessantly but uh not about anything important this is yvette and this is maria are they with us do they understand the need for secrecy they will give nothing away especially this one right listen very carefully i shall say this only once the forger monsieur leclair will arrive tomorrow you will pass him off as a cousin who has come to help you in the restaurant he will need papers here's a forgery will make his own peppers of course how quickly i have lost the thread of this tapestry of intrigue two british airmen are in a farmhouse 20 miles from here they will arrive in four days disguised as onion cellars but onions are not in season that is how you will know they are the airmen you will conceal them until monsieur leclair has prepared their papers now did my men come to fix a radio transmitter yes they are put it in the attic room it is the room of my mother it is the only place where nobody goes unless they have to but i wish to speak with you about that it is not very convenient show me follow me one moment is your wife's mother prepared to die for france she's been prepared to die for 30 years but she doesn't go i think god does not want the aggravation ah michelle these two idiots are here two days too soon what am i going to do with them you must add them i can't hide them i have had no time to organize things i have not yet prepared the cellar then you must add them where no one will look in the cafe under the noses of the germans go and find us a table where we will be alone i have a little english i will explain okay chaps follow the boss oh thank god she speaks english it is a resistance michelle why are you here listen very carefully i shall say this only once renee there is no pray i ate it last night listen i shall say this only one renee the german officers cannot stay in the room of my mother london will be calling on the radio the radio is under our bed and the loud speaker is in our chamber if the germans hear a voice coming from shut up michelle has something to tell us listen very carefully i shall say this only way why is it you are going to say i haven't said it yet if you listen i will tell you the suspense is killing me the two british airmen wearing the german uniforms have been captured no yes no yes no yes will nobody believe this woman to tell me the story they have been captured by the resistance then why are we worried they have not been captured by our resistance what other resistance is there the communist resistance what are you the goal the girl he is the tall one can you not just ask them if we can have our uniforms back we do not know where they are hiding them what is more we do not speak to them when the war is over whichever is the strongest group will control france the communists are ruthless killers we will have to eliminate them well we cannot get those germans out of here without uniforms oh the uniforms are no problem london can do anything i cannot tell the germans i'm in touch with london without me shot we could tell the missile clerk the poger is a tailor and he is going to make them new uniforms renee you are married to a very clever woman well i have always preferred brains to beauty and if they have big knockers go until the clear look how can we get uniforms from london the wireless is under the bed and the germans are in the wardrobe this is no problem we will send the message by pigeon we have no pigeons they will be provided tomorrow morning at midday you will go to 36 rue das cargo you will knock three times and they will give you pigeons to avoid suspicion you will be disguised as a small boy but why can't i be disguised as a small girl because you are a small girl lock the door are we alone well unless you count the three of us yeah now when we found the british with the uniforms we found them but they ran away do you have the pigeons yes good i have here the cylinder to attach to their legs do you have the measurements of the german officers oh yes i've got them here good maria you will put this in here and clip it to the leg of one of the pigeons uranus will write a description of the uniforms river choir here is the pepper supplied with the cylinder what shall i say to london please supply urgently by parachute drop at your earliest continuous german uniforms as follows one colonel in research regiment regimen a moment please how am i supposed to get all that on this little bit of paper with very small writing you know if you had found those british we could have got the uniforms back we wouldn't have to go through all this farago yeah hello sorry about the tags we had to pick them off a couple of scarecrows never mind that chats what about the uniforms we burnt them we didn't want to be satisfied why did the painting's safe though they still have the picture but they have burnt their uniforms oh eck they cannot stay here germans are everywhere you will have to find somewhere well there is only the room of my wife's mother the german colonel and captain are hiding there oh no no they are now in the restaurant disguised as onion cellars then we don't have to send the message by the pigeon we can use the radio so what should i do with this item michelle michelle i'm here why can't you wait in the room like an ordinary person because i'm not an ordinary person i avoid being discovered by the germans i have to move with great cunning and secrecy otherwise i will be sure i understand i have the same trouble with my wife [Music] now listen very carefully i shall see this only once you are to take this container i see and what does this container contain bulls michelle up until now our relationship has been on a very civilized and friendly basis this type of gene is called a very pale blue i run a bar i do know that natural glycerine is also called a verapel blue oh i didn't know that but what is the connection this is nitroglycerin do not drop it do not let anyone see it add it in your cellar at 11 o'clock there is going to be a big bang that was not definite it was only a resolution what are you talking about what are you talking about i am asking you to add this bottle in your cellar just to blow up the railway line but the railway line does not run over myself my restaurant runs over my cellar i know that i will be back to collect it quite soon well in that case why don't you just keep it because if the germans find it they will shoot me well if they find it here won't they shoot me you have a cafe you have a bar why should you not have a bottle of bowls gene if i could think of a reason i would give you one dinner time it's that resistance girl michelle hello chaps sorry about the cramped quarters i'm afraid you've got to lie a little bit longer it's not exactly luxurious you know fairfax lillian fell off his perch last night i'm trying to get through to london to get them to send a plane for you oh good show by the way we're jolly thirsty see the button on that feeder there press it with what is happening last night the picture of those fallen madonna with the big boobies did not come by parachute these did we are being pursued by a german patrol you must hide them for us well what are they anti-tank mans treat them very gently keep your cooled if the germans find them you will be shirt well at these prices i cannot afford another funeral michelle i am here how dare you knock off the colonel and the captain in my cafe what kind of a business do you think i'm running here huh it was not my group of the resistance it was the other party we are the girl they are the communists they do not understand that we are using you to help us blackmail the germans into keeping quiet about the fact that we are helping you to help as a british airman to escape until your explanation i did not understand it either the question is what do we do now we know they're hiding place we will rescue the germans but first you must radio london to tell them you cannot take the british almond to the coast tonight me but i was not going to the coast tonight you were provided i would go myself but i would be missed at my job what is your job i am the supposed mistress in the next village next to the bakery not the little girl with the glasses and the lips the very fame you overcharged me for two stamps last week there is no time for that get on the radio i will take care of the coroner [Music] keep quiet this might be his last breath words listen carefully i shall say this only once my bum is on a thistle

Channel: Pig Head

Views: 186,177

Keywords: Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once, Michelle Dubois, 'Allo 'Allo!

Id: m2V1EAerRWw

Length: 14min 7sec (847 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 10 2020