Letterman's 1st LNwDL, February 1, 1982 (full)

good evening certain NBC executives feel it would be a little unkind to present this show without just a word to friendly warning we're about to unfold a show featuring David Letterman a man of science who sought to create a show after his own image without reckoning upon God it's one of the strangest tales ever told I think it will thrill you it may shock you it might even horrify you so if any of you feel that you don't care to subject your nerves to such a strain now's your chance - well we've warned you [Music] from New York one of the most exciting cities in the tri-state area it's late night with david letterman tonight's guests are Phil Murray Don mr. wasn't her 'but also a tour of the set a special Late Night report on the shame of the city and the rainbow Brill dancing girls [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] thank you thank you very much thank you that's very kind of you and welcome to our show it's late night and I guess you know spring is just around the corner in New York City when the peacock girls start to mold it's not unlike the swallows returning to Capistrano it's a festivity here every year in New York welcome to the show you folks apparently a bright group bright enough at least to read the applause sign and I certainly I certainly appreciate that I'm I'm very excited about this new show and it's a big three or four days for NBC let's see they of course had World War three last night starting on and then Saturday night Erik Estrada was singing and and tonight this extravaganza but the whole thing was kind of tainted I believe was Friday evening an NBC executive on his way home was arrested at Grand Central Station his pride was showing so they we have a wonderful show for you folks this evening comedian Bill Murray will be joining us a little [Applause] a guy who has been a longtime favorite of mine you know em as mr. wizard Don Herbert will be joining [Applause] and if that wasn't enough we are going to be right back it's a brand new show a brand new set a wonderful facility and we're going to take you folks on a tour of this studio this set after you take a look at this thank you for being [Applause] [Music] what would you like to see on late-night television various ways of joining metal okay something about how to join metal I would like to say that the metal is joining I wish there was a show that had information on how metal is joined [Music] [Applause] since it's the first night of a brand-new television program for me I thought what would be fun for you the home viewers and everyone here in the studio audience let's just take a look at the equipment a rare behind-the-scenes tour here at NBC come on follow me we're going backstage in big league television this of course Paul Shaffer and the boys ladies this is we're actually backstage right now and what I wanted to show you first of all you know the old expression you've got to learn the ropes well this is where it came from every one of these ropes supports hundreds and hundreds of pounds of delicate electronic television equipment and it really takes a seasoned pro to know which ones you can't mess with these are all in use for example I know that this one here is okay to let loose there's nothing sleek that up a little bit later now over here oh this is exciting people say to me Dave where do the really big stars live here at NBC and this is a stairway to one of the many luxury apartments before the Stars here at NBC and this is great don't use all the hot water Rona now let's see all this is exciting got to be very quiet when you come back here because you'll never know who you're going to wake up this is the perhaps the innermost recessive the backstage area I wanted to call your attention to this particular sign up there refreshments or to tell the truth personnel only and what refreshments they are - huh now this little item people say how has the Today Show been able to stay on the air for 30 years well I'll tell you back in the mid 60s they started manufacturing their own appliances and I think today for blender a hair dryer at home I'm demonstrating what we're all tomorrow cannot to is the control room I tell you that technological advances and television leaps and bounds they're growing and it takes a real precision crudo to operate the stuff come on through here before we get to the control room this is plus it is a green room and you can see we have those vegetables and try and get some winter we come in these are some of the few vegetables here at NBC not in programming people tend to under play the role of makeup in television here is of course the makeup room at 6:00 8:00 I want to just show you a little something hi how's it going Matt thank you very much good luck I enjoy your show now now you know who that was before makeup that's the star of real people skip Stephens okay now this is a control room that I was telling you about earlier and not many people ever get to see the inside of one of these things because it's a pressure packed earring it's just about like being an air traffic controller let's go on inside see how this baby works Natalia yes sir you think you're in real luck it's it's fine I think [Applause] Oh [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] thank you again we got a guy trapped over here this will be fun to watch come on just crawl on through here that's alright you redhead I enjoy seeing a grown man do that occasionally go ahead producer ladies and gentlemen there's nothing left to chance here you know well about now you're asking yourself here wonder what else this show has well I'll tell you it's a pleasure for me to introduce my first guest with credits that include Saturday Night Live the film's meatballs Caddyshack where the buffalo roam and stripes Bill Murray has become one of the top box office draws in show business and besides that he's a very funny man and as pleasure to have him on our first program ladies and gentlemen [Music] [Applause] rather than pulling everybody out [Applause] hi Bill hi nice to see ya good thanks for being on the show I certainly appreciate that oh good well I I just wanted I hope you don't take any offense offensive what well I just came in as you folks this to you probably don't know that I had to go feat I had to go back home and I came right back and I got caught in traffic they were a little nervous out there and it was no problem but just that I'm not wearing shoes right now oh there was a problem no no they shouldn't if they didn't tell you obviously look sedated so obviously something happened - we don't really understand no well no nothing happened well anyway I'm happy that whatever the difficulty was you got it ironed out oh yeah no problem okay can we go on with the questioning yeah you were in you were in the stripes I missed the first part of the show by the way what happened is it going well I know this is the first show and I think this guy needs a little support where were we you were gonna ask me about the last time I was on your trip oh yeah well this may not be of any interest to anybody and it's barely interesting to me but let me they're pumped up the what are you playing with there it's just let's just live here I got more you you were in a movie last year that was number five in the box-office tabulations those number three number three now you're a major star and yet here you are playing with lint balls well I wish that you would quit trying to run my life no I mean this I mean it I'm really like you've got everyone here under your spell it's obvious you know you haven't doing deep breathing exercises before the show I don't like to see you I know you're on here a late night where no one can stop you but this kind of thing is not going to go on as long as I have some connections here in this building the RCA Building I saw what you did to mr. wizard he has the wizard in his pocket and you just can't use science for your own ends you can't play God with people when are you gonna get off the high horse smell the coffee brewing so do you miss Saturday Night Live all right I miss it I miss going back I miss the old gang Bob petitioner of course my old friends producing it my brother Brian doyle-murray is on the show one of the stars or so you're saying what's happening to me I just fell back into your old trick your old mind game I'm reading these goofy questions on answering your little questions off the card we are gliding this Saturday night you never missed anybody or any you got out of Indianapolis and didn't look bad all right okay I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall on you man and I want to be there when it hits the floor good shake there yeah I'm gonna do nothing about you even though I could and now it's interesting I had a chance to strangle Richard Nixon and I didn't and I regret it and Here I am inches from I don't know what's keeping me from doing so now that you're well-known is it harder to be funny it's now it's a little bit different you know you go out to a restaurant you can't eat you know and people want your autograph and so forth but it's hard to eat am i doing what's happening I swear a Letterman it's the last thing I'm gonna do I'm gonna make every second of your life from this moment on a living hell what you've done no no no go ahead and talk to them they're all singing your song tonight go ahead go ahead I'll never make it home tonight I tell you well I'm gonna make it home would either guys he's got in my dressing room waiting when I tried to break the towel off bill [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] the aim of the program here is a late-night my name is David Letterman now this is Bill Murray and Bill then you were about to say I'm sorry I interrupted there I owe you the biggest apology anyone has ever given anyone I owe you an explanation for the way I behaved I have been working like a dog not a project that no one else is even involved in that's why it's so damn hard I'm doing it all by myself and doctor has told me that I could crack at any time unfortunately it had to happen here tonight your first show I'm kind of a breakdown here huh well I have a sort of a chemical imbalance it's not anything it's just a salt problem and I just need a certain amount of maintenance yeah and I forgot I was rushing around you know and everything and I just forgot you know to take the pill and everything but you're okay now huh well I tell you I'm a little embarrassed but I am okay now I just wish you because I love this guy I love this guy so much and if you knew there's only one person that's helped me through all of it and it's been David with a phone call or a note just a little scribble on it you know from the desk of David Letterman it's there it's there you know I open candygram the candidate it's everything it's all of these things they add up you know it's like Oh bill do you need a ride for Christmas or anything like that he's always been there the only one and when you called earlier today I said don't worry about a tie right yeah he was he's been great I love this can we do this no okay nothing too small all right I got a little bit miss the units over I understand you brought a videotape with you something I made my backyard and I'm so proud of this this is the project I'm talking about it's it's so what you're working so hard on this is that and I've been working night and day all by myself I found a little animal and this little guy was being kept and forced to work in a Chinese restaurant he's six six weeks old that's for four years in adult years over 40 years old and this little guy had to remember how to prepare 50 different Chinese meal now I imagine a four-year-old trying to they were feeding this guy msg every every three hours and he was a wreck or an emotional and physical wreck and I just grabbed him and I said we're going out the back door and I this guy's been in my backyard and saris and just hi holy gonna take a look at like a lot of slunt you just talk over this in the foot so watch the monitors at home and use your TV as I guess his name is Cancun there he is this is this guy's in my backyard look at him look at him I rented this panda so he'd have a companion look at the kids in the neighborhood and they visit and it's it's all for fun with this guy and if you could have seen him just a couple of weeks ago you know and anyone a place you got there oh yeah it's great hey well if I tell you my neighborhoods gone crazy ever since this little guy rolled in and I you know I it's cost me a heck of a lot of money cuz always these children show up and you got to feed them you know I'm here this way you know what I like him a lot I give him a little pan of this when I crazy about her I gave you a big panda a giraffe and a camera but look at what they've done I hate to put all these railings and stock yard because the bear is just taking over my life and look at him if you could have seen him and now [Laughter] [Applause] we're going to wonderful Oakville can we look at a little of that again well I don't know if we actually have time all right well we're leaving now it is a little more exciting the second time around I tell you well we're going to we're going to believe you now we'll be right back though don't you [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] welcome back here mr. Willard is going to be joining us in a couple of minutes but before that I understand bill that on your road to really recent rehabilitation something was very important to you you mentioned earlier well besides you hi my doctor told me told me 10 days ago Bill YouTube embed today that would be that would have been so I would be dead like like 13 days now yeah he said you would be dead if it weren't for aerobics aerobic exercise has saved my life turn my life around and I will talk at length about it but I know you don't know darn the luck so so you're going to well what you're going to I'm going to do a little of that for us well wait a minute yeah do it early while I'm still fresh or sometimes after lunch after a big meal just to blow a little bit late night like well technically this is morning now well anytime after midnight generally consider if I take you guys know the new newton-john thing [Music] I know you like you're making with conversation [Music] [Music] you better know that you bring it out [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] hello I'm Larry Preston Undersecretary of Education I'm sure by now you've all heard about the president's change of public elementary and high school schedules if not let me refresh your memory on February 1st 1982 everywhere in the United States the American school day will begin at 12 noon that's right school now begins four hours later but the later start time does not mean that your children must stay at school later the school day will still end at three o'clock the president's official quote on the matter was they can leave anytime they want it is the hope of the President and all of us here at the Department of Health Education and Welfare that your youngsters take advantage of this new schedule to broaden their interests grow as citizens and spend a lot more time watching late-night television thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you nice to have Bill Murray with us and I know most of you were sitting at home thinking is this PBS well no you know because we're on at late-night we have a chance to do some hard-hitting in-depth news reporting during the day and whether you know it or not there are just a couple of things wrong with New York City so we went out on the streets to take a closer look and file this report that we call the shame of the city not everyone survives in this Serban battlefield we call New York City this combination City scape and warzone the crowded landscape has claimed another gentle victim yes say goodbye to the once plentiful majestic pine tree I'm here at 52nd and Park once a thickly wooded forest right here in Manhattan now everywhere are the dead trees cut down in their prime victim of some mysterious blight was it pollution maybe overcrowding perhaps for stop by too many delicatessens no one seems to know what's killing our trees there are no simple answers only simple questions and simple people like myself to ask them it's truly the shame of the city we take these home for firewood we just bust them up a little bit Midtown Manhattan Center of the Arts but some people are out to destroy it for everyone I'm here on the corner of 50th and 7th Avenue where we see something maybe it's just a little thing but for my money more hard evidence of the shame of the city planing and a missing ham down here I don't know how about you but this is the kind of thing that really gets me steamed excuse me sir could you come in here what is your name please my name is Denny Denny do you work in this establishment yes sir how were you aware of the fact that there are two misspellings in this site yes I know you do know but yet you put the sign up I want to say that you are going to change it thank you very much Denny I was proud to be a part New York City center of culture of wealth the power and victim of one of the highest crime rates in the history of mankind a crime rate that continues to climb and shows no sign of stopping and you have to ask yourself is it really any wonder when you take a look at the police department and this is the police department is shocking horrifying tragic and yet nothing is being done about it excuse me sir do you work here is they do are you the only one who works here unbelievable get it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] from roughly the years 1951 to about 1965 there was a television program on called mr. wizard Don Herbert of course with mr. wizard this is very exciting for me he's here tonight ladies and gentlemen the original the one the only mr. wizard [Applause] we're going to do some some neat stuff here before we get into that well in those years was there ever any serious mix ups where a little kid was roughed up a little on the show no not really because the kind of show we were doing you know anything could happen it was perfectly all right only once we did an experiment in which we put a bottle over a candle and then light the candle with a little coil next to the wick and one time in the rehearsal we got the wick wet so when we got it all set up we turned on the current it got hotter and hotter and vaporized the candle so that a in the bottle we had a mixture of vaporized paraffin and oxygen and suddenly it disappeared from the close up the lights and of course I was shocked because I thought my god big bottle blew up it turned out I heard it playing down behind me so I knew that that and the child was dead next me they were covered with water and I was too and then as soon as I saw that she wasn't hurt when I got out of town my throw myself off and we went right on doing it so she stunned a little bit yeah she sure was and that was the only time we've yet ever edited the show we cut the laughter of the crew what crew doesn't love to see a kid vaporized you could hear them laughing we in a control room it was as hard as they say what are we going to do this evening well I brought some of sort of my favorite almost classical experiment to do the first one is here is a bottle of soda water as you know there's gas dissolved in it here is a baby bottle that has been measuring along the side and I want you to sort of guess how much gas is dissolved in this bottle here's four ounces is it less than 4 ounces between 4 and 8 ounces or more than 8 ounces and I have to guess well you know go ahead how much I'm guessing the amount of gas and ethyle that's about 10 ounces here oh I would say it's a probably less than 4 ounces of gas okay you will find out here's what we will do I feel like witty kid we've already lost time right yeah what kind of gas is in there it's not I'm dark science right okay we'll pour it into the baby bottle the mini babies drink club soda not not with this nipple because this is a special kind of nibble that does not have a hole on the top well what's the point of that well they're called they're called blind nipples in the mother is supposed to make your own holes seaspar overside now would you take it and shake it please take it and shake it shake it take it hee [Applause] well Jim gasps but that'd be great on the subway people would stay away from if you had one anyway if we haven't lost quite so much you will find that that thought entire liquid will go into the nipple which means that there's at least more than 8 ounces of gas so I so 10 ounces of liquid and 8 ounces of oh yeah there's at least 10 ounces of it yeah and that means you drink it it'll kill you right it'll make your birthday yeah yeah now by the way notice the pressure that is hard to blow up believe me there we are back to normal if you remember probably the most famous of all the sort of home science demonstrations getting the hard-boiled egg in the bottle yes okay well that you can't do that much anymore because they don't have milk bottles and that's what you used to do it so I have now got a new version this is a balloon filled with water what you have to do is to get that balloon filled with water into the bottle do you want me to do that well well you can't yeah this is too big special tools we'd have to send out for let us do it in the in the classical way I'll get the balloon wet so we make sure that it has nice and lubricated I'd like you to take it in your hand like this I think we've all seen Shriners do this everywhere I was going to light this piece of paper and put the burning paper into the bottle okay and then I want you to put the balloon on top like that'll be what is going to happen is the paper burning is going to heat up the air inside that makes it expand and bloom when you put it over the top is going to work as a one-way valve allowing the air to get out but as soon as the flame goes out the air is going to get cool again okay you no contract and no outside air pressure can get in there cuz this is hard so it's gonna push on the balloon and force it in okay are you ready do you want to grow a roll or anything here sir well if you'd like we're just a small drum roll it's the first night to play along are you ready put the balloon on tap [Applause] now the question is how do you get that sucker oh yeah an ice pick is handy but the reason why I went in is because the air pressure pushed it in because we lowered the pressure there all we have to do is get the balloon down here like this if you try to pull it like that you're gonna make this air pressure less so what I suggest that you do is the following we have just two minutes here we'll add the other one too all right well let us what we do see the problem is this hardly ever comes up in real life in fact that's one of the things that people very awkward see why do you want to get big in the pocket there okay here comes the balloon I have a straw you see in there next to it right so as you pull up on the balloon the same principle of the shoehorn okay oh no this is [Applause] yes applause we'll be right back folks [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] Don Herbert is with us mr. wizard what have you been doing since the mr. wizard series of I don't want to say vaporize but was well we're doing a very exciting project damn it from the National Science Foundation and the General Motors Research Laboratories we got a grant in which we're doing short eighty second science sort of newest pieces which are inserted into a 125 local newscast around the United States so I'm sort of the local science reporter great they're not doing you know ridiculous things like this but real can do this one yet okay what's next well I'd like to now be more serious and ask you a question which I would ask the child on the show what's a BTU it's a British thermal unit and it's a means of measuring something ha ha drive safely as a matter of fact it's the amount of heat that's necessary to raise a pound of water one degree Fahrenheit a hard thing to remember this so the next time you see those three letters BTU here would you take that take a good look at that that is about one BTU the amount of heat in one burning kitchen so this would raise one pound of water 100 grams Fahrenheit here are 40 can I blow this up Oh barely not now you can and here take 40 BTUs so kind of think what could you do with 40 BTUs song happy birthday come if you trying to boil an egg yalta by you you might get the water hot but you run out of BTUs it really before and now a furnace puts out 150 thousand BTUs so the next average household for house in first so think of a pile of 150 thousand matches yeah there go the cufflinks alright alright okay now you can't do much about it'll go out all by itself you can't do much about BTUs because they're sort of inherent in the fuel but once you get them up into the room where you want them now you can do something about it and I'd like to demonstrate are you right-handed or left-handed so if something horrible were to happen to one of your hands you'd rather have it happen to your left I'd like your left hand please put it right down here like that here is a quarter which I'm going to put on your hand here is a match which I'll give you in your good hand you can take a tip of it like that and I want to eventually to reach over and touch the tip of the quarter like that with the match because I'm going to heat up the corner with this blow torch we check this guy out I'm going to cover your hand with some insulation okay this is modern insulation and I'll Pat it down so there's about here kitty-kitty-kitty there's about an inch or so of insulation above your hand I'll put the quarter on the top now whatever you do don't move man because here comes the blowtorch there's about a thousand degrees you ready with a match as soon as I take the boat torch away touch the match to the quarter you ready okay touch it but don't lose that hand oh that's how hot that was now you can blow out the match still don't move that hand listen hmm it was now you can move your hand [Applause] thank you very much yeah there's Kathie Lee Crosby would say don't try this at home boys yeah good heavens what is this stuff it's vermiculite it's a sort of a mica like material that's been expanded and this this I get it that book garden shop they they dig it into the soil to keep the soil moist but it is used as insulation in the walls and ceiling of your house and is very very effective insulation there's some better on the market but you can see it's fireproof I get the good stuff and anyway you can see why why insulation is so important if it could keep a thousand degrees that close during how this one actually does have a practical application you said what yeah we're gonna be serious now yeah terrific your hand all right everything is fine this is fascinating stuff well thank you I appreciate you coming by this is Don Herbert [Applause] [Music] thank you very much Paul we have to turn the power on this thing off in just a moment I want to first of all thank the studio audience you folks were sweet to be here this evening did he say sweet to the studio audience unbelievable I've never said that to a studio audience in my entire life but thank you very much folks you're a handsome group of people and by the way I feel like Bill Murray to come to your own home and sing that same number also my thanks to mr. Bill Murray and mr. wizard Don Herbert and what show would be complete without the rainbow grill peacock girls whom we saw earlier Paul Shaffer in the band thank you folks for being here our announcer bill Wendell and tomorrow evening comedian Pat Paulsen screenwriter Steve tesage dentist Norman Hoffman will be here to review the film Reds and a tour of NBC that's all coming up tomorrow so be sure and tune in as they say when they want you to tune in here now to close our show as mr. Steve Fesler a guy from Brooklyn Hoover some reason is committed to memory all the dialogue of the two-and-a-half hour classic V film Bowery at midnight starring Bela Lugosi so now for those of you who would really rather be watching old movies at this time of night I know I would please welcome Steve Fesler Bowery at midnight with Bela Lugosi John Archer and Juana McKay extra extra read all about it read about the escape of fingers dolan paper mister you shouldn't smoke that it might stunt your growth if you got to go ahead and smoke it I'm saving it after dinner dinner you mean they got a place for a handout sure over at the friendlies a friendly what ain't you ever heard of the friendly mission nah you're sure to get some swell food there and no questions asked but what are we waiting for come on pal there it is ain't it pretty just like I told you gorgeous and a guy that runs it is a soft touch over the evening I see a brother needy friend with you tonight yeah it's a pedestrian from Pittsburgh you're very welcome here you will find food for your body as well as comfort for your troubled mind yeah but I'd really like some soup my friend what happened to you hand are not and I just fight it a little bit are just the same you'd better take care of it nurse Malvern here's a patient for you have another bowl no thanks and what about a smoke nice see God

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 78,204

Keywords: Bill Murray, Don Herbert, Mr. Wizard, Steve Fessler, Calvert DeForest

Id: MYuhJ_F1wCw

Length: 44min 32sec (2672 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 01 2017