Howard Stern and David Letterman, Part 1: 1984

[Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you very much later on we have a find a program tonight let me bring out my first guest he described himself as did we get the bird by the way the bird has been secured okay has he really okay oh they don't know but for purposes of the show they're saying yes of course my next guest tonight has described himself he's described himself this way as the worst disc jockey in radio he has the afternoon Drivetime show here at WNBC a.m. and for my money this man represents state-of-the-art radio please welcome Howard Stern [Applause] I'm ordered to play for my paper this crowd is uh these are people who like me yeah so anybody who hates me here look he'll there's all kinds of scum who hate me see we were gonna have them in sections people who loved Howard and people who hated Howard but they obviously all love you let me ask you about this you describe yourself as the world's worst disc jockey well I'm not a good disc jockey I'm not like the guys on FM we tell you the weather every 10 minutes I mean I'm kind of strange on the radio and I'm not a good disc jockey I don't play records that kind of thing went away is that why don't you play the records because I basically hate the music that NBC plays the station station was in the toilet bowl before I got there and if I continue to play the music that they played it would have been probably dead last in the ratings no no what kind of music do they play and did they play Boy George which I enough for my money you know I can't deal with that and they play Julio Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson yeah did anybody actually buy that record it's like number five or something what a comatose audience I've got to do well here tonight so so you don't you don't you don't mess with playing the music if I do well I'll be like Dody Goodman like on the Jack Paar show [Laughter] we're all pulling for hours we'd like to see you in through a couple of weeks I didn't know what to do cuz they they did me they gave me like a pre-interview and said David you know real uptight doesn't like to touch in the back of his head like you did to Dyna girl he's excited about touching another man but I think it's beautiful okay you know I think we have one more bird trick if we get Howard tell folks who have not don't have the benefit of the living in this area to hear you sure what do what they would hear you don't play music so what do you do well it's been described as honest radio we talked to people on the phone we're ourselves hmm it's like your show in the sense that you're not you don't come on you have a lot of phony hype and you don't I mean you have people on with pets and then the bird gets lost and we let anything happen you think I mean you make a loan card loose make lot of phones we call people who write us hate mail yeah like this hate mail this is our game here now hey man you want to get to the hate mail now you wouldn't hold this well maybe we should hold it all right now tell us about one of my favorite parts of the show is your dial a date watch the thing I mean in order to get ratings in New York you have to shock people and I don't intentionally go out to shut well okay I do intensely shock them because I know if I don't I won't have an audience and we do a LESBIAN dial a date where we set up lesbian I'm kind of like Jim Lange jr. I like to think that and just pack the show with lesbians something you oughta try sack the show with lesbian yeah we gotta show those bins so people like to see lesbians for some reason I don't know like Donahue or anything when you are in the morning you didn't have any lesbians you were just no I'm not sure no we are we close to it all right what quickly Howard didn't mention how you opened the dial a date that I heard that one time I just you see you're making me look bad I said we I said attention all homos because I wanted not that I was calling home it well okay I was calling homosexuals homos and I wanted them to respond but but you you're well well supported in the homosexual community a community loves me I'm like this Savior I think I'm this homosexual dial a date man right here and now we have some homosexuals now come on down and we'll play we're gonna go away for station identification think about it pack the show with lesbian [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Bromfield will be joining us tomorrow Willie Nelson fun with nitrogen with dr. Richard Brent this would be exciting I can't figure out like why I'm on the show though it's the it shocked me that you asked me on well while I am on I just like to say because the show is coast to coast if there are any other radio stations presently looking for talent fraeno and if you enjoy what we do I'd be interested in hearing any serious offers this is better than sending on tapes that's very expensive jackets not tapetum resumes and this kind of thing but I'm always looking for workers I don't think NBC is gonna let this nonsense go on much longer how long have you been on the air here yeah in New York for two years so yeah I think you're gonna be here awhile no I give it six months and then and then I'm fired I think in six months I'll be off the air and I'll be at another station how many stations have you worked for I've worked for about six and I've been fired from a couple awkwar-- no good reason I mean I've always you know driven up the ratings and this kind of thing but the station's insist on firing me what was the most recent firing where Washington and why were you fired well I was fired because I made fun of other disk jockeys which is Chi Minh that's pain you know compared to like lesbian dial a day now give me an example give me an example of a guy or a woman who was a disc jockey who you made fun of in Washington well I don't know it's just that the the radio today is so bland and so boring and we gonna have fun I just started attacking every disc Jon you've worked in the market you know these guys these guys have come on and I don't know they just talked about the weather and they play the records I mean that's that's not creative so any in any case Los Angeles is a good place to work or Chicago anywhere in the Midwest although I don't go over in the Midwest that well I don't think they're all in Detroit yeah I was in Detroit so that's a it's how long were you right i hey it was the worst part of my life I hate the people in Detroit I hated working there I think I'd be depressed if I lived there to the most of Detroit is the present but Howard don't you I think you have to agree maybe you don't you know more about this than I do but it seems to me like work an afternoon drive the WNBC New York City that's got to be the best job but what they did is I was so desperate to get here my dream was to come to New York that I signed for very little money and what I figure is they're pulling in about five million dollars a year on my show and I'm not making anywhere near that and I'm not trying to say I'm money hungry but I've worked as hard you know getting a job at NBC New York is harder than getting a job on a baseball team so here I finally make it and what they did they're basically giving me the shaft because they're getting $300 a minute in advertising I don't know what you make I read you made like a million a year and that's not all that much for a network guy it's because you're so desperate for to be you know a star that you end up selling yourself out which I think you did really all right well hell if there's anybody looking in now from anywhere I can do I can do whether I can do movie reviews well that's real entertainment he's doing it on our radio station he's very qualified cuz he's seen like six movies his qualifications are high oh no I know I mentioned the other folks that work with you on your show Robin Quivers who works with us to count to be fred Norris it's very funny very funny a very innovating and it's the kind of thing you have to listen to it you find yourself not being able not to listen to it that is that's worth money in the bank I heard you describe yourself once as the Arthur Godfrey of the 80s oh yeah but I mean there's more truth there than the thanks that one person who applauded may know it's gonna do wonders for my career be known as the author guys really but but you know what I'm saying in a certain regard there's truth in it okay now we're gonna read some of these letters is that right Howard this is hate mail the station gets a lot of hate mail okay I'll just start out we've kind of penciled in some of the stuff that's good mr. a dear mr. Mulholland well he's he's not here over the past several months I have overheard various derogatory comments from a diversified segment of individuals concerning the absurdity of the subject show aired during the late afternoon weekdays well so far doesn't make any sense right well it basically the people who write in - they listen all the time they can cite every bit that we do I intentionally took time to listen to about 20 minutes of Howard Stern doing air checks on this date and I find it literally impossible to express the effect it had upon me this disgustingly filthy with absolutely no sense of morals is a simple description at far too mild you see that's the thing a lot of people don't understand what we did I can be serious another satisfied listener dear mr. McGarry Metheny McFee me oh I'm used to be a program director he's also he's over at MTV ruining that try to ruin a directives 8 used to tell me to be quiet get your [ __ ] done in two and a half minutes and okay I need a lot of time you know I don't do things in two and a half and right you know leave that to the old time disc jockey and but actually I you know I don't want to say anything too bad about it but he's over at MTV and we've all seen MTV now do you work as the show formatted like they have the old clock we're at twelve minutes after you played an up - it's not typical radio show for people who haven't heard it it's just I just get along well with the folks at WNBC the management I hate them I hate them because they fired me and then as soon as I was there the first couple of weeks I was there they told me to change everything I do yeah which is why today's area they hired me because they had high ratings but they when I when I came in and started doing what I do they told me - yeah you know he told me to clean up my ass yeah just looking it up Tony okay they hired me because they want to make a lot of money we have one more one here they get nervous when I talk like this so this comes to just dear sir well I'm that person probably still here I know of people who refuse to purchase a car containing only AM radio for the mere reason that they refused to be subjected to the narrow mind of Howard Stern yeah yeah single-handedly yeah now do you do you ever talk to these people you call them on the phone yeah we call him on the phone we were gonna do that today yeah and we're not we don't have time we ran out now what happens when you cuz they had the pets on good now what happens when you confront the folks on the air with with the letters like this and by the way that that was some dog that Michael Jackson do I mean I mean all of his manliness was showing around on network television put me to shame that's what kills me put me to shame you know it's it's interesting my wife's gonna watch that tonight and be jealous it's it's interest it's interesting that you wouldn't notice is what kind of puzzles me [Applause] Howard so what are your plans if you if if well I think you're gonna be here a long time but other things other areas what do you want to do besides uh well I just want to I don't have we would like to do some television yeah if we can get that I don't think it's gonna happen for I don't know it looks like we're gonna have a pilot it's the first day that we have a pilot now we have to find someone to show it that's more difficult well I'm glad you I know you're on the air right now and I really appreciate you coming down here and we can have me on again we don't to be like a regular like Marv Albert I think we can work it out there stuff the next time I come the cutting age of radio technology ladies gentlemen Howard Stern [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] welcome back to the program my first guest tonight is the afternoon Drivetime disc jockey on WNBC right here in New York City please welcome now America's most beloved radio personality Howard Stern all right thank you very much for being here nice to see you again this is the most uptight show I've ever been on what do you mean by that well uh who's the guy who produces the show I had a great bit I was gonna come out here can I tell you about this please do did you know about this I don't know anything well I was gonna come out here I just show up late and put a suit on me and I come out I am I had gone out and gotten a dead horse that I was gonna drag on and make it do a swale bit was an offensive or anything we're gonna do a whole psychic thing we're swell I drag out swell and you sit behind a desk and then I try to figure out what killed swell I do this autopsy on it yeah and I start digging in and then I open it up and I find out swell was killed by it and then it was there's two guys inside the horse oh so they said it was too offensive they don't want horse jokes on yeah yeah so this will probably be my last appearance on here because I'm not supposed to talk about horses but it was meant as a loving final wish man as a joe a tribute to the horse let me can I ask you a couple of questions about radio sure you know I admire you in the work you do and and the fine station you work for do you think it's one of the great radio stations in America no no I think the station I work for is an AM station it's a station that's dying and that's why they hired me to be so offensive and do swell jokes no Howard it's true because it's an AM station and nobody listens to am anymore no that's not sure it's almost impossible to get people to listen AM radio there's so much static you can't hear it I think it's true you listen to the music there's static and my voice is static and nobody listens to music on am anymore let me ask you about that's what I was gonna ask you about what's am stereo what is that that's a real joke that's a goof what it is it's it's twice as much stereo and nobody has AM stereos in this country why would you want to buy AM stereo really wouldn't I mean nobody wants but you get on say AM stereo there's a couple of people are brain-dead in our audience and they and they by the fact that we're in a em scenario and they think they're listening to stereo when it's a mono signal as a whole station is a scam huh and you know I'm glad you brought that up I don't like it alright now I don't like it I don't think Ames stereo I think gamester is a joke does anybody actually think AM stereo is stereo does anybody here own an AM stereo receiver and happy with the performance would anybody like to see me drag out Swail well sir that's that's interesting we have about 300 people there one person out of 300 has purchased an AM stereo receiver yeah all right now Howard last time you were here you wanted to talk a little bit about this this is the July 1984 issue we magazine we magazine yeah yeah no they've been here with naked girls and it's well it's the kind of thing where I was you know I did this with we magazine there's naked pictures of women in there it's amazing what they do get away with them what they do is so here we go yeah here's jockeys in the country yeah you were this is a spanking scene you could show some of these panting yeah I think we can show yeah this this main series right here see I'll do anything for ratings now you're they know you want to do something like this no this is you at work isn't it no it's just that they brought two models in and I was just hogging up to them and I talked really I mean there's a lot of obscene stuff and here at NBC is very uptight okay let me get to that in a second but tell me about your wife's reaction to this you're married right yeah lovely woman how long you been married well my wife and I'd been married six years and the fact the matter is I said to her look this is the way I make my living this is economic security if I can get him we magazine and take pictures with naked girls so she bought the whole concept so I'm in we magazine is the it's a five-page spread and it's very sexist it's very dirty you know but but the but the the company is upset with things you said in the publication now what did you say that I was real dirty in the public you see I'm gonna get fired for talking about this I know you say you don't care do you know I don't care that I'm gonna few get fired what'll happen to you well the how do some other radio station will hire me and pay me a lot of money to say obscene things they'll get uptight about it and they'll fire me and some other radio station oh it's like I'm constantly getting fired in country doing this and making a lot of money yeah well concerns me that haven't been fired in the last two years so NBC will fire me soon okay I talk dirty about I talked about my sex life in here and I talked about you know my circumcision I talked about a lot of these things and NBC says well you should have a clean image but I mean like guys like Eddie Murphy work for NBC and they had a dirt you know yeah it's okay what do they say when you bring that up to them well they say that's a rational argument nobody in NBC's rational yeah okay bacon in my well say whatever you want we got to do a commercial first and okay want me to slow me down you know well Howard's gonna inflate the horse and drag it out we'll be right back folks [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] this young man of course is Howard Stern there's an article in this is a recent issue of the New York Post I believe I think I look gay tonight I'm looking I lost so much weight I look gay how much have you lost 50 pounds right now I go right you look good to me to me but don't shoot me from this side of the nose all right this was in last week's post Howard Stern's radios insult Jackie now that's not fair to start with I'm not an insult Jean I don't I'm a dish no I'm not a disc jockey somebody air personality and their person or God's gift to radio yeah I've noticed on Friday you count down the top 20 hits in reverse order eating yeah I just want to say something we're involved with a couple of things for radio these countdown shows anybody listening these count that shows like Casey Kasem a vehicle person makes those long-distance requests to her boyfriend in the army this guy's got the greatest spam goin in the world this guy takes the 20 top records of the week and counts him up for you you know I mean basically and he makes you wait for four hours till he gets to the number one record I think it's kind of a scam so we're working on a countdown show that's gonna be heard but except we're gonna give you the number-one record right off the bat right off the top of the way yeah no that stuff so we're down yeah we're working on right now I heard you say one time that they you were gonna get to Casey show bounced off wnbc yeah I try I was pushing for that for a long time and basically he's off NBC you know I don't like countdown shows I don't like anything that's pre-taped or canned I don't like anything all right no I'll accept this always great show thank you sir site this isn't that I think I means it no the producer calls me up and says what are you gonna talk to David about don't do any swell jokes don't touch David no going and I got a guy says he asked me what am I gonna talk about so I don't know what I'm gonna talk about have David asked questions well David wants to ask you what's bothering you and then you just you know you just talk mm-hmm so what happened I mean you guys get paid a lot of money why don't you just you know write down some questions and you know have David asked me some questions well I have your cure so I'm creative I have one here now back to the post this was in the post now seems like six seven months ago Fran Lebowitz I don't know we do want to ask you this Howard Stern radios in saw Jackie is set for a pilot for late-night television to be submitted to NBC first his manager is singer Steve Rossi Steve Ross he's our manager Marty Allen is hello there those guys yeah this guy is our manager he got us a TV pilot we're shooting it in August yeah so we're you know we think we're gonna be on TV well that's good all right and Steve Rossi is this guy who you know he's kind of like he's kind of the old-school comedian he's the guy he kisses me on 6th Avenue yeah like when we're walking down the street it's like the old type manager you we're walking down the street goes I love you babe I love you so I said if you're gonna manage me man you can't the guy's kissing me on set and grabs me up in his arms made her starts hugging me and that's just like whole deal but I really love the guy cuz he got us on TV it is but I'm not gonna kiss him on 6th Avenue and it's and for you that's that's good management you don't mind that well it's Hollywood I guess all right so August you're taping a show what's dial a date oh yeah well we do it we do like the old dating game thing I told you we do lesbian dialing right we had a Jamaican dial a date I don't I see all these commercials for the Bahamas and go to Jamaica I'm not going personally yeah I think the Jamaicans hate white people like me and I'm not gonna go to their hotels and have them cut my legs off so I'm staying home so I invited a Jamaican I invited a Jamaican guy to come on I invited a Jamaican guy to come on to improve you know relations in this country when I set him up with a white woman and the Ku Klux Klan has contacted me I'm sure they're after me at this point well Herod you've got a there's certainly a full plate tonight from Howard wasn't it I never even got to Lorna Luft and Liza Minnelli now do we're out of time but please come back and finish up with like a regular and I'm like pee-wee Herman [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the the current issue of People magazine calls my next guest New York's Mad Dog disc jockey he can be heard on WNBC radio weekday afternoons please welcome America's most beloved radio personality Howard Stern [Applause] waiting for the pack those are not nice as minority yeah yeah I can't live a lie too I did this they put me up to me [Applause] I knew it [Applause] nice to see a horror but the CEO to see congratulations this is very impressive four pages in People magazine about Howard Stern this is terrific what did you say long article I like I like People magazine I mean it's good exposure for me but I took issue with this you see it seems like everybody wants to take Jews and put them in Devil's costume and it's I post other magazines and every time I pose for magazine they put on we put this Jew in a devil's costume and I notice some guy in the Midwest guess it and says you see there are Jews with horns so I had an argument with People magazine for about an hour well you didn't have to put on the devil's costume I did they told me they cut short the article if I didn't do it and since um you know I wanted the publicity I did it so I'll compromise my career for anything is there it is hurt is there anything else in there that you're happy or unhappy about the article you have a lovely wife and a nice-looking a young girl yeah very sweet looking kid well you well be careful you say it's not I have a wife and a daughter not a young girl oh that's that's right your daughter like hey Tony danza's a great guy was just back that's the first time I met him and he's gonna do like a smoked out commercial with me or something worth discussing ways to help people back there for 250 hours of public service is beautiful I think I think that was the proper sentence punch a guy in the face 250 hours now do you want you want to cover anymore in here no when did you get offers this is a national publication nobody's call me what I'm thinking is is that now that I'm in People magazine I'm on Letterman I'm wait for Johnny I like doing this show but let's face it I'm on at 1:30 in the morning on this show if I could get a shot on Carson David just once I think that you know I think it's time did they call or anything no nobody called nobody called from Carson I can't believe it I can't believe it oh I have no control over that yeah but keep the keep pluggin by all means yeah now you must be the happiest guy in the world everything all right you heard a radio station looking forward to the debates you know the debates okay it's I love the last one with Bush and Ferraro hmm that was really good and Bush's wife is excellent looking I can't understand something I looked at Bush and Bush is a nice-looking guy he's a very nice-looking guy and I wonder well as vice presidents go he's a nice-looking guy yeah he's a nice-looking guy I mean he's a decent looking man in terms of political life and I say his wife it looks like his grandmother and oh come on no seriously I mean I've been married to the same woman for 10 years and I have trouble getting excited I mean she's a nice-looking woman's you see People magazine I mean it's the same one no I seriously it's a it's hard to get excited oh no no wait a minute wait what now if if you were out somewhere did you kiss your mother with your mouth I mean your grandmother with your mouth open I mean it's how does how does he get worked up over Barbara Bush I don't know I couldn't get work done now but now how how does how does your wife feel about you saying this now see you two are out in public and your wife walked up to somebody a mutual acquaintance somebody says it's been 10 years with Howard I just I don't know he just doesn't excite me anymore I'll be honest with you you know you think when you get married that you're gonna have sex three four times a week and I know I read an article you're thinking to get married but I'ma Taysom at first you have sex three or four times a week and then it's down to two and now maybe once a week I get it and I'll be I'll be honest with you I I don't rely just on my wife I don't have an affairs or anything but I have to I buy men's magazines and stuff like that you guys are lying if you say never stops I mean even if you're married you still have to kind of think yeah okay your honor if you maybe it's the devil suit yeah well now Howard but how's the job my job NBC radio it's worse than ever I'm going through contract negotiations right now your contract is up my contract is being renegotiated renegotiated well I asked for a half a million dollars no way I think you deserve it easily deserve it yeah but they're paying me under 200,000 a lot of people saying well hey what does he deserve you know two hundred thousand sounds like a lot of money mm-hmm but the thing is the station bills five million dollars a year off of maintenance and I'm getting a small cut of the action and what I was gonna do is I was gonna come on here tonight and play a portions of my radio show but the the the stupid NBC censors won't let me do it because they think the word orgasm is not proper for television and that's what we're dealing with all right yesterday we have to do a commercial then we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it says here in the article I want to make it time I plan something to go on this show the NBC censors say I can't do it dr. Ruth can say orgasm on this show 300 times and will not say it for some reason I can't you know I can't do it no no Howard saying orgasm will that stay in the show well how about me when I say it will it stay in oh please please Lord I'm sorry orgasms except for the Pope I mean I you know I mean I don't see why you can't say it on TV I never understood that let me read this quote I'll never be able to find the quote but it the the can we get back to my contract oh yeah let's get back to the contract now have you had offers from other stations I've had other stations offer me money where would you rather work you don't care money is it right money is it I'll work anywhere anytime as long as I can do my act and a stations willing to pay me a half a million dollars yeah now aside from the money you're getting at WNBC do you get along well with the management do they like you are they supportive no they just brought in a new guy from San Francisco it doesn't know what he's doing no general manager new boss and I don't know you know I'm having difficulty with management they they're being nice to me right now and I'm not sure what's going on I don't trust them I'm sure there's a bomb that's gonna drop pretty soon so I mean if anybody wants to make us a generous money offer a half a million dollars we would gladly take the show to your radio station and we got many funny bits orgasm bits yeah you know what I like I was I heard about your tour you're having a tour that said another thing I'd like to discuss because we can't get the money we want we're having our own studio tour for 425 you get to come up to the station watch me do my radio show yeah we'd serve meals what we do is we get the commissary food and the hotdogs Aryan yeah well the hotdogs sit there about a down recording we charge the people $3 well that's good I don't know it looks like things are going great for you you'll get it you're gonna get the contract they can't afford to lose you you're too valuable to this operation so valuable films you want to do film work want to do film work I'm going to Carl Lewis acting school I could see him and Gandhi - okay we have to do one more commercial and then we'll be back with Howard here [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] naked naked women in your control recently on the radio show a naked women on the show how long ago this was a last week and we had every NBC lawyer down there trying to see every NBC lawyer wanted to see the naked women and then when I wouldn't let him in the studio they told me never do this again all right well good luck Howard thank you for being here come back anytime you want I'd like to come out again and pierce my ear all right we'll lick it or dad will get that TV Guide if there [Music] [Applause] [Music] that's let's go to the phone now these are gonna be calls here on the NBC actual calls right all right let's line one all right now if this doesn't work it'll work it'll be just great this is actually our way of staying in touch with the public line one hello hi who is this my name is Dave Jean where are you calling from Jean I'm gonna have to ask you to turn your radio down okay good gene what can I do for you I was trying to get all the powers [Applause] and what did you want to talk to Howard Stern about yeah now he's not having a party at my house oh you would like Howard Stern to come to your house for a party maybe you could help me out yeah yeah I think we can work something out gene what's what's in it for me if I put you through to Howard I have a lot of girlfriends I mean you know man there are laws in this state you can't say now wait a minute Jean how old are you so you've apparently been taken in for questioning before I tell you what gene let me let me put you on hold here we'll get right back to you okay gene good lord see Howard Stern has a very popular very peculiar radio show here in the afternoon at NBC and folks call in and invite him to a party with young girls that doesn't happen much here though it doesn't fall oh I don't know Connecticut or something uh netiquette yeah see if you can't trace that call now so this is Jean holding right here now can I take another line okay this is the complaint line question line NBC switchboard hello

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 325,826

Rating: 4.7776818 out of 5

Keywords: Howard Stern

Id: 8iClQNXILfQ

Length: 36min 15sec (2175 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 02 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/FLORIDA--STANLEY]

“Watch the whole way through”

It’s 36 minutes

[u/Moretalent]

Well Howard wanted to be mainstream, Mike was happier in the shadows but they both had a similar sociopathic instinct as entertainers

[u/TheMaskHonies]

Imagine when they thought they could get away with being white

[u/SlerpotLombarg]

Same Guy