- [Narrator] Lawyers of Reddit, what was your oh shit moment in court? (static hissing) Not oh shit bad, oh shit I
can't believe she said that. First jury trial, pretty serious charges. I'm cross examining the alleged victim, and in answering my questions she says, oh yeah, I lie all the time. Needless to say, I won that trial. (static hissing) When I was 16, I tapped into
a guy's bumper at a red light. Very minor impact, the was
almost completely stopped. I spent the next five years
getting sued by this guy, who alleged all sorts
of ridiculous injuries. When it finally came to trial, it somehow came out that the guy would take three mile walks. When he was on the stand, my
attorney asked him if he was, in fact, able to walk
for up to three miles. I can walk 10 miles, he bragged. Jury didn't give him a dime,
and he had to pay court costs. (static hissing) LMAO, when I was clerking
for a judge over the summer, I watched a trail where the respondent was on the stand, and
his own attorney asked him a question about the advice to break the law his previous
attorney had given him, thus opening the door to
cross about the same thing. The second it happened I saw the attorney's oh shit, realization and it was so hard not to laugh. (static hissing) Story from a friend of mine, he was defending a guy in court. Don't remember what he was charged with. The main witness for the prosecution was on the stand, and was asked if she could identify the defendant. She was scanning the
courtroom and seemed confused. My friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him, he could probably get all charged dropped. As he was mentally adding
this case to the win file, he happened to glance over at his client, who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him. Even the judge face palmed on that one. (static hissing) Never ask a question to which
you don't know the answer. Prosecutor suggested to me
client that the canned goods he had burgled were to be
used to trade for drugs. Me thinking the idea ludicrous, asked my client whether he has
ever traded food for drugs, to which he replied that he once exchanged a frozen chicken for heroin. Needless to say, I didn't win that one. (static hissing) Sat in the public
gallery at a bail hearing for a man accused of heinous crimes against a very, very
young female relative. The judge started laying out the conditions of bail, and one of them was to surrender his passport. Man turned to his
attorney and said, loudly, words to the effect of, but you said I could fly back to my home country. The judge stopped himself,
and revoked the man's bail. (static hissing) A lawyer I used to know was in
court on a work injury case. The judge asked his client, just what is the nature of your injury? His client replied, I can't raise my arm this high any more, while
she raised her arm up to show just how high
she couldn't raise it. OMG that's fucking gold, case dismissed. Bring in the dancing lobsters. (static hissing) I was the dumbass that
almost screwed myself. I had two charges in two different courts. I accepted the first plea, which almost always carries probation, but my plea didn't have that condition. When it came time to
accept the second plea, the prosecutor didn't include probation because she assumed my first
charge put me on probation. She said as much to the judge and me being a big dummy almost corrected her. My lawyer grabbed my
shoulder and, I shit you not, told me to shut the fuck
up, she doesn't know. Never interrupt your enemy
when they're making a mistake. (static hissing) Person I was representing was on trial for assault in
the third degree and DUI. In my state, A3 means you've
assaulted an aid worker or police officer, and is a felony. The allegations are that he
was very verbally abusive to the officers and, at one
point, kicked one in the face. We are sitting at the defendant's table, and the officer is testifying
about the statements my guy made to him, including some pretty horrific name calling. Out of nowhere, my client screams, you're a fucking liar, fuck
you, you son of a bitch. We lost that trial. Another time, the judge asked a client whether anyone had coerced
him into pleading guilty, and he said yeah, my attorney. I about shit my pants, but he laughed and said, I'm joking, no. (static hissing) I was just interning in
court during law school, but I'm a lawyer now. Fight in a club, someone had
broken someone else's jaw, and had six friends with him that insisted he had
been identified wrongly because he never have a beard, and the victim said he had a beard. They used a very specific phrasing to the tune of, my friend
doesn't have facial hair because he is a professional
in the food industry, and it would go against the regulations. After three of the witnesses had repeated the same exact phrasing,
the judge stopped one to ask if he knew what
a couple of the terms in that line meant, and the
witness couldn't explain it. Defense lawyer got busted for instructing the witnesses. She'd also gotten the defendant to reject a plea deal
that exchanged prison time for a fine and community service. (static hissing) I was at a hearing arguing that my client was wrongfully terminated, because the employer failed to abide by the proper procedures. During the hearing, a witness
for the employer tried to offer documents that
were fraudulently altered in order to make it look like the proper procedure was followed. I noticed the alteration. Opposing counsel, quickly got that witness out of the room, and
after a quick adjournment, my client got a large settlement. (static hissing) Watching a hearing when
the defendant said, I mean I did stab her, but
it was a gentle stabbing. Reminds me of something I read on here, where the person said,
I hit her with a knife. Stabbing, that's called stabbing. He ran into my knife, he
ran into my knife ten times. (static hissing) Not exactly in court, but I was defending a juvenile robbery case, where there was very little evidence. There was supposed to be two guys, but they only picked up this one kid. He had no stolen property on him, he was picked up like
outside his own house, wearing different clothes than the victim had initially said. This kid was on the honor roll at school, his family seemed kind and were involved. He wrote poetry and played instruments. I actually believed it was a
legit mistaken identity case. I went to meet with one
of the kid's mentors for a character reference, and he exactly matched the
description of the other robber. So the home roll kid
was a robber too then? (static hissing) Sitting in court, doing
some plea paperwork for with a defense attorney for a go home plea agreement, where person is released from custody and doesn't have to do jail time. We hear this kst, sho to our left, and we look to see his
guy sitting in the galley all by himself, sitting in the cloud of a biggest vape hit I have ever seen, then has the audacity to tell the judge it went off in his hand. Do not pass go, do not go free that day. (static hissing) I'm not an attorney, but
a reporter whose beat is the county courthouse, so I've had plenty of these
moments happen in front of me. A guy was convicted of attempting to murder several police officers. At his sentencing, the prosecutor revealed the defendant got a prison tattoo while he was awaiting sentencing of a tombstone with the names of all the cops he attempted to kill. But the defendant still had the audacity to beg for a lenient sentence. He got a few hundred years in jail. (static hissing) I was interning during law school, prosecuting domestic violence cases. The Deputy DA asked me to
talk for the first time during a guy's arraignment,
for beating his wife. An arraignment is when the defendant hears the charges against them and pleads guilty or
not guilty, basically. When the judge calls on me to speak, I got insanely nervous,
and told the defendant that his charge carried a maximum penalty of 30 years, when it was actually 30 days. He freaks out, the crowd, some in the gallery, were his family and friends, gasps. The judge basically stops me and says, I think you mean 30 days counselor. After which everyone, including the defendant, laughed at me. (static hissing) Represented a pro bono client
that had just turned 18 and was charged with
serious property damage. I walk in to his bail
hearing and the judge looks at him and goes, I knew
you'd be back as an adult. The judge then turns to
me and says, counselor, you may want to learn about
your client's history, no bail. Not a lawyer, but was working at the jail when an inmate came back from court and immediately went on suicide watch. Apparently he was up for a plea deal, and was only looking at six months, but started questioning some of the facts, which let in a ton of
previously denied evidence. This new evidence linked
him to six B&E's and rapes. He walked out of court
facing a 99 year sentence, which he was certain to get, all because he opened his mouth. (static hissing) I'm not a lawyer, but I
was a character witness for my childhood dog in a civil trial between our neighbors and my parents. Opposing counsel was questioning me, I wasn't even out of
elementary school at the time, and he asked if our dog was aggressive. She was a rottweiler and very loving, and incredibly protective
of me and my siblings. His final question to me
is one I will never forget. He asked, did your father tell you what to say before you
came into court today? I responded, yes. Then he asked, what
did he tell you to say? I said, the truth. Now I was too young to remember the courtroom reaction, but according to my father the judge audibly guffawed and the opposing counsel lost
all the wind out of his sails. (static hissing) We were just sitting around because of delay of some sort. Over the course of about five minutes, about eight heavily
armored sheriffs deputies quietly shuffled into the room, and everyone was told they need to sit real fuckin' still
until told otherwise. Another three big boys
lead in the defendant. Small Italian American
gentleman in shackles. He was up on a few pretty
boring fraud charges. I'm guessing he had friends on the outside who wanted to speak to him. Also, there was the guy who called the male judge ma'am, he was funny. (static hissing) Not in the courtroom,
but just outside when, right before my first jury trial, the opposing counsel is walking up and down the hallway shaking
hands with the sheriffs, the court admin personnel, a
few judges and other lawyers. I was an out-of-town lawyer. Did I mention this was
my first jury trial, who was hoping to just not get lost? Anyway, I won. (static hissing) Medical malpractice defense lawyer here representing hospitals slash doctors. This was not my oh shit moment, but plaintiff's oh shit moment. For context, usually at trial, both plaintiff and defendant will have an expert physician testify
as to their opinion to whether the doctor slash hospital
performed everything correctly. I thoroughly researched
plaintiff's expert, who was an ob/gyn, baby delivery, and found out he had been suspended a number of times for his
own botched deliveries and giving incorrect medical testimony to help plaintiff's cases. During the actual day of trial, turns out he was not licensed to practice medicine independently without supervision
from another physician, and he was one year into
his three year suspension. Plaintiff's lawyers had no idea about their own experts background, and they just sat there with
a blank look on their face. Needless to say, during cross examination, we destroyed his credibility
and won at trial. (static hissing) Unfortunately I'm not
allowed to say too much, but basically, on charges
of growing marijuana, stated he was growing herbs for medicine, and gestured air quotes with his hands, and then whispered, I kid
you not, marijuana, bro. You have been visited by
the smart studying doggo. You'll be blessed with good grades only if you subscribe to Comment
Awards and like the video. ♪ PG ♪ ♪ On top, food chain,
won't stop, new gains ♪ ♪ Hot box that blue haze,
one lock, two chains ♪ ♪ No bras, two babes,
mic dropped, new stage ♪ ♪ Lights in my rear view,
five cops, fool's race ♪ ♪ Faster than a Tesla,
they say I'm exhausted. ♪
