Kronan and the Tyranid Factory

between the time when chaos broke Cadia and the return of the sons of the emperor there was an age on dreamed of and unto this Cronan wearer of the jeweled crown of aquilonia Upon Our troubled brow it is I his chronicler who alone can tell thee of his Saga let me tell you of the days of high adventure and so it was that our hero Cronan loudly lorded as the cunning one which was no mere titular epithet I can assure you in fact of all the yulas that one might think of Cronan was the least tittish one could imagine was he not the leader of the cunning war and not just that but the very anointed Emissary of the great God Mork anointed in Blood and viscera for Saturn but anointed nonetheless was he not the most orky of all Orcs apart from perhaps Gans ghoul mag or extraca of course he was now let's not throw a cushion down and assume the position and fluff him up too much is what some might say but I say the Nay Nay I say thee for you are not listening to me the most unworthy lowly chronicler of his most prodigious explicitly Violet and fighty Legend to hear these very utterances to bask in the glory of the most Canon and fighting Orc in all of aquilonia which most now called orquilonia if truth be told but it had not been redesignated by the humies or even the foppish Elder and so Cronan could not in good conscience admit victory in this matter he did look for it was his want to do on his beloved dataside whenever he opened it he did just scan pass to see if it had been updated somehow yo the name of the planet yet not having any understanding on this subject whatsoever Cronan was on a high road to nowhere he had not actually visited a new humi system had not plugged in the data State nor could he have gotten onto any form of Intergalactic net to do so whether one existed or not well that was a tad more tricky so we have to fade down on that subject as I Dazzle you with another topic entry and so it was that Cronan had won yet another Victory to add to his role of honors and Conan was indeed the cunning one so as he now understood more the nature of the Orcs than near any who had ever lived well is what he told himself when he bothered to self-scrutinize which again being frank or Earnest was an incredibly rare occurrence yet he was confident he was near a Mystic brain boy level of awareness of the habits of his own people the green skins the Beloved of Mork and gork the greatest water race to ever exist the Orcs and when he did introspect recently for about a half a minute or so he came to yet another staggering realization it mattered what his people thought of him it mattered a lot now croonin had always been intensely orky as we know so he was as forthright as Eddie good orc should be yet magnified of course as he was magnified by his Lord his God Mork hence he had been what the jealous would dub a horrific Shameless show-off yet Cronan had seen the effect disobeyed on his past his early existence for as surely as a grot bites the head off a snot that annoys him Crone and share popularity had saved his bacon more than once whatever that is hence Cronan now took his seed of wisdom of understanding and created from it a mighty tree well he definitely made something of it a tree is very ecologically sound but perhaps not what Cronan was thinking of at that time not any other time really for Orcs were not known for their green Warrior credentials despite indeed being the very epitome of Warriors of green complexion eyes away Cronan took action and he set up what he called The Mystery of Truth it had a rather broader admit is what one might think if you heard of such a thing being used in a humid population for they were to support and spread the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth now humans might see this sort of organization Empire build until it had a seat on the high Lords Of Terror or some other August body solely creeping in to warp how everyone perceived the situation mostly concerning the actions and reactions of the governing body who instituted the bureau usually funny that luckily the only truth that mattered to both Cronen and by extension all of his people was that their lord Cronan was the biggest most cunning and fightiest of all the Orcs his mystery of Truth was given control of the Picton vid fees and told to monitor them but also to make certain that the proper truth of the good life was given unto their ever-expanding War thus the mystery of Truth went about making the screening of some of cronan's greatest hits the central point of the social calendar the Squiggy Games The Duel with two Smasher The Hunt for Red October and now the defeat of the chaos Umi Fleet interspersed with advertisements for the next League games of golf and which barely needed any advertising at all was the most favored viewing of all the Swig surprise events and so it was that the mystery of Truth merely reminded all of the beefiness of their boss of bosses and how much fun they had all received as a bounty from his genius the latest rounds of the inter-warfleet origami competitions were also intensely popular the inclusion of a crack grenade into random got before the matches was a stroke of walkish Genius on cronin's party yet again few indeed ever said anything even partially less than absolutely glowing about the big boss Cronan for those who did it seemed that they were almost immediately subjected to a catastrophic loss of blood as their body parts just fell off one another and this is exactly what Conan's mystery and the Towering black lesion knobs who escorted them would always State when they had discovered yet another of these strangely the soil Orcs now this deeply spiritual moment was often preceded by a lot of crashing around and screaming but this was all part of the event and it was often the screaming of Newfound devotion that were sought to have caused the Orcs Limbs and heads to fall off before long all waved and smiled at the mystery members as they wandered about performing their good deeds and those who were asked questions by the mystery members often felt the warmth of Truth as they sweated out all fear and evil when just in the presence of such a helpful and jolly and massage from the boss with that in place all was running along smoothly was running drills and trying to increase the air wings he had plenty of Flyers now as eyesap had been working with him quite a lot recently and with all the muggins and guns they had found all over the fleet well mostly on recently acquired human stair sheeps the number of Flyers was multiplying fast yet even amongst those who claim to be SpeedFlex The Knack of void and Atmospheric dog fighting was not for all as Dhaka himself could not really get behind Fleet actions on the larger scale much to korean's disappointment so it was also true that many a speedfreak was actually only really interested in or able to perform within a land-based vehicle yet despite the losses taka Von smash oven was indeed gaining new recruits and his drills were a thing to add to the entertainments of the fleet for Dakar did not believe in Molly coddling those in the fighter wings so although there was much scrap to be collected after each live fire engagement those who remained were nicely stiffened up and dako was a popular boss despite it all his men knew that he wanted the best out of them now the situation with titles had been mostly resolved well on the short term for Cronan had kept him close since The Disappearance of bash store knowing what a spiteful little tear it might well be Cronan was not in the least concern for his own well-being of course not but he did consider that bash door or any of toba's new funkies May well strike at his beloved pet and that would have led to a wengi killing spree so terrible that it would make Mr Wick demure in shock and state things like oh crumbs that was stabby while losing his lunch due to the Ultraviolence on display but mostly it was due to Cronen being on one of only two ships for the last few days he was either on his Flagship the Mork rampant or on the huge space Hulk they had wrestled from the clutches of their chaos worshiping our starters the word blairers for there was much fun to be had on the vessel it was absolutely gargantuan in orky terms if cronan's massive stair sheep was a fly then the spacehog was the size of a Giant Squig off dump yeah that big and it was swiftly discerned that the chaos Marines had not been nearly as thorough as one might have thought from Yumi Elite Warriors for they had left Cronen a great gift something to really get his teeth into and his fists his Chopper his shooter his boot even one might suppose but a gift it was indeed for the cows our starters had taken control of the Hulk is what they had initially thought but no it turned out that these luxades called scum had merely cleared the outer shell near the hull they had then locked or solder's strategic entry points and airlocks across the Sheep so those things in the interior of the sheep could not get out yet Cronin and his green skins were a Gog when they found out their level of incompetence and general killjoy that had been performed by said chaos worshiping wimps for they had seen the blast on solder marks and began to open them up and a true gift was almost immediately discerned by the war for inside the hawk were scores of Miles maybe more of differing ship Interiors gangways corridors and rooms yet all were not empty no for inside we're teeming Hive of huge buggins excellent thought Cronin the initial forays inside proved that they were neither small in number nor short of fun the survivors of the initial scouting teams came back with beaming eyes and a spring in their step well those who did not have to drag themselves back missing large proportions of their body and leaving huge green blood Trails behind them anyways they were a dizzying array of them of near every size as you got further into the interior the bigger and nashier they became music took cronan's ears and of course to the entire War many had already preemptively bemoaned their potential lack of forward momentum in the war should the mix take too long on this new huge Hawk you now making it usable is conveyance taking control of its Key Systems and the like good to know that any delay would have the monotony broken with a potential Humdinger of a broom wow that has washed many a troubled brow not the Cronin or any green skin would have put it that way for there was now of great pressure on Cronan to choose those lucky scams who would get to go in first with the lord of the wah for again as with the recent Fleet action all believed Cronan would be in the very thick of the event and few believed he would leave any behind for others well it may have been believed but who would outright State such beliefs and risk their head and arms and legs falling off nobody that's who well maybe the grot but literally nobody listened to those sniveling turds my last there is no update on the grots this time around for their numbers were prodigious and their uses expanding to match this surface but other than that I have nothing to report this time so let us push on to the main event and when I call it that I will certainly not understating the situation it was a truly fantastic time had by all 4. that's what she'll see even the bugs seem to have a whale of a time well to be more precise there was certainly a lot of wailing to be sure and who but the humans or Elder would not relatively jump with joy but a thought of such a colossal scrap in the offing again nobody that's who now the buggins seem to know their role in the matter and appear to be eagerly awaiting the coming of the cunning one as none of the buggins are so much as attempted a single solitary sortie outside of the Realms of their hive construct in the depths of the spacehog all could feel their compliance in The Fray to come for they were not wasting their efforts on sallying out oh no they were preparing themselves for the fun to come and all tensions Rose to fever pitch as Cronen went back on show to the entire fleet the entire Congregation of his people and took out the cold storage kegs again and he did another draw randomly putting out a keg and taking out the head of a grot with an icon of Allegiance on it thus were the first mobs prepared for the job and plenty of spares were picked now after the first score of mobs were allocated all believed that those following up would be little more than a gandized cleanup team for they all knew that none of the buggins would be able to stand before the power of their lord but Midway through the door all over aghast and then elated for Cronin declared he would not be leading the first wave in this re-energized the entire ritual sending the wire into a frenzy attention and celebration with the name of their boss or Horde Bob or sheep were picked out if Cronan was not in the thick of it well in that case there might well be enough buggins to make this a real event Cronan also swore by the perfect biceps triceps and all the steps of Mork that he would permit any to claim booty as they arranged the Region's temporarily held by the buggins sidebar concerning booty one might think that the Orcs would have rather rigid hierarchy also they might be so dense as to not understand the concept of booty but if there is one thing you can take to the bank it's at Orcs crave booty as much as a dark-hailed out disregard safe words in fact it was not merely rampaging Carnage an unspeakable violence that was involved in reading or freebooting that was the only draw although the urges of the Orcs were reliable and that they usually ran to slaughter there were some other urges as well not just amongst the weird and other odd boys either there was a need for food of course but also the Need for Speed a well-documented prime will urge in many a green skin but there was also the urge for intimidating the shiny bling righteous drip or put simply stuff that made them look odd being hard was one thing and by far the better of course but as Cronin had gathered as well perception and meaning and looking odd was also a definite positive it would mean less challenges to a knob or boss now this could be construed as a bad thing for a lack of fighting was as dangerous to an orc as an all-you-can smoke weed shop is to a hippie but there must be consideration to not just a quantity but also the quality of the engagement for two or two orky orc it is better to wrestle an imperial Titan naked and covered in promethium accelerant than it is to just slog through wimps no there will be a certain Pride from a job well done and done well but when not clearing a region then stacking up hundreds of feeble civilian humies was more a necessary task than a vocation and humans did make good slaves it was true yet the point stands if the fight was not worthy of the orc well it could leave this unscratched itch that would irritate the green skin until the next decent scrap now do bear in mind that Orcs do like to win of course they do but by gorks madly and Incredibly sharp back molars a proper fight had to be at least a bit of a challenge thus reading was all well and nice but the real Hope was that the planet Village City or sheep that was being raided had at least a bit of fight left in it before the battle perhaps even a decent hero or two to really test out the skills and speed strength and brutality of the Orcs participating and it was well known by all be it Elder human or the toe Empire liar cast The order they were the more bling they had hats power Choppers sweet rare DACA or even grenades the best wielded the best so to have a trove of accolades and all could see it would ward off the time wasters and leave only the truly fighty to challenge the orc in possession of such accoutrements of power hence as a sign of status to permit a green skin to become a knob or boss the acquisition of gobins and muggins was a must so to sum up to conclude Orcs love booty they crave it they want to sink their teeth into booty and slam it and watch it shatter to an orc booty was Orr and sidebar and so it was that the first ways were chosen and prepared now one might scratch one's head concerning the decisions for Cronan to not lead the charge himself but this was in keeping with his new modus operandi what most would consider an alteration in his managerial Style he had decided that he would now get to know his Warlords better as Orcs he knew them pretty well for many of his closest adherents had been with him from the early days and of course as we have identified already Crone ended often give jobs to his Chums yet he knew them on a tribal or planetary Army scale but he had not really seen them in action up close and personal now without a doubt this had more to do with the fact that Cronan did so enjoy what he did hence in all of the scraps and even larger bundles that he had participated in well he had taken stock of the battlefield as we have often heard but in reality he was as awky as any orc could wish to be hence he had utterly immersed himself in the Glorious Butchery which meant he intensely enjoyed the company of his direct considium his quotery of complete um cars but he needed to know how they would perform when he was not directly driving events now most would realize the sacrifice a Conan was giving unto his entire people that he the cunning one would not be the first to do the breach the first into every last room nosy around and trumping everything he found but he would forego this immediate Bliss the return to his natural state to be in the midst of a truly gratuitous Fireball yet for his people but also for his own Legend Cronin knew he had to look more at a long game and it did provide him the most Exquisite of entertainment which was a cold comfort most of the time but today it was about right for the cunning one for the last thing he needed was to look at his bosses through Rose tinted glasses or something like that but the point is the Conan had set up the mystery of Truth himself so he of all people could hardly shy away from it most especially not in his hand-picked AIDS and so it was the Cronen chose the bosses that we were taking the fun to the buggins get scooter mcmurder was practically bouncing up and down so fast that he was in danger of shifting into another dimension when he was informed he would have the overall command of a third of the forces and it was definitely time to see what tragic violence the only relatively new face amongst the three could do for tragic violence had risen to the top in cronan's um back Legion his honor guard and tragic had to be tested not in his combat abilities of course for they have been well attested he had not become the cat pain generous of the black lesion for no reason for he was intensely generous in the crumpings he dealt out both as a member of the Legion but then also as a most enthusiastic of the Legion in helping out the mystery of Truth he had a huge stack of converted Doggins in his possession now and he was now grating up against mcmurder in many meetings so it was time to put up or or shut up tragic would be leading in a third of the forces but they would not include the lesion themselves Cronin wanted to see how he did on hard mode by giving him only boys to boss about taking the Legion in would be up to Cronan and only if he deemed it necessary tragic was practically beaming a Cronin with the order was given he soon sniffed and grinned at mcmurda's developing scowl it was only the last big boss that seemed less than elated at the prospect of leading boys into a tightly confined set of eminently Trapped festooned corridors filled with irate and very bitey buggins most marveled at his doeful nod of acceptance of this singular honor Greninja backstabber seemed to be a very odd dunk whatever that was for he mooched out of the boss bash was showed as a slope and sagging as those who had not been offered a crack at the first round unfathomable yet in his ultimate wisdom Cronan had expected this reaction this test was about more than just fighting and winning or getting torn to pieces and consumed then shut out by the buggins in the form of their little nashy ones oh no as Cronan had tested his Fleet Admirals hackbar and grand mal Tartan so must he also test his generals of the impending land battles he needed to know exactly what they would do when they didn't think he was watching and like an equal opportunities questionnaire no answer was a wrong one he just needed to know oh he fully expected at least one of them to end up being Fang fodder and sort of counted on it really for although Cronin did not wish to be in the first Wales due to his little staff training exercise but he was hoping very stridently that there would be a requirement for him to lead in the black Legion to end the matter for throne ended so wish to battle against the buggins yet Conan was also hottest concerned as others might have been for Cronan had suck and received enlightenment he knew the enemy better than any who had previously fought them or so he thought for he had not just consulted his data slate the findings of which we shall get into in a moment he had also gathered all of the bosses that had ever fought a buggins before now one might think that this would be next to nobody for was this not a local Affair this cunning War but no anyone who would State such a thing did not understand the Blessed movements of the green skins nor the amazing power of the call of the wire for Orcs have many ways to move through the Galaxy the obvious which would be the free Buddha Fleet but also space hugs and rocks also now when a free Booter Fleet coalesced it did not often stay in the same patch if it were attached to an orc Empire then things would be different but many a free Buddha raiding Fleet were just head in our Direction until destroyed or called by an amassing War hence many of the flotillas that joined the fleets of Cronan will not from around these parts at all and the strange conglomeration of so many Orcs bought with it a wealth of information for those with a wit to ask the right questions now the gathered bosses did indeed provide Cronan with the information he required to back up that which he had noted from his communing with his blessed data slate but then it devolved into that topic most often to Arise at such discussions sidebar the tastes of the higher fleets now the buggins which most of the other races called The Terror kids or something like that probably because they were afraid of them one would imagine well they were known to consume all in their path harvesting every last nutrient from the planet they infested yet none truly considered the other side of the equation yes the buggins are very effective at eating every last morsel on a globe this could not be denied but just because they snaffled a lot in one gigantic job it did not mean that other peoples were not equally voracious just in a more measured and sustainable way this was definitely true of the mighty sons of gork and Mork the Orcs for where others might demure at culinary exploration this was certainly not true of the green skins for if it didn't shoot back didn't brandish a meaty looking chopper of its own then no matter what that thing was it was fair game for noshing on and the other races again might be concerned about consuming Oodles of Terror kids in case it made their tummies rambly and their bodies squitty yet the green skins were not particularly prone to this condition so when a massive mushty against the buggins have been concluded then it was indeed snacking time and the Baggins provided a lot of incredibly Tender Cuts when prepared expertly of course there always be some buggins that retain their acid and poison sacks which would of course again lead to Absolute hilarity when they were discovered in the usual way being the acid eating through the orc as it ate through the bugging yet when one discovered the right way to avoid such dangers they could even be considered Delicacies hence the Orcs would often have huge Banquets when they defeated the last of them on the field of Glory Or Glory or was that the field of Glory that was Glory well the Gory filter was glorious sounds like an issue for another day but it happened both regularly and frequently so the Orcs were well-versed and how these beings tasted now hi Fleet leave it at home buggins were deemed far more like humid than was comfortable be he Mouse had a delicious taste not dissimilar to Lobster Squig where's High Fleet cracked in were reported to taste more of drox than anything else but few took this at face value but it was well known amongst all tribes and cultures that if one could not truly identify the taste of a thing then it was most often described as tasting of Crocs now many believe that high freed Aura Bernice tasted like slowly smoked Eldar I must agree that high fleet tmat was more a pallet cleanser really it was rather unassuming and watery like eating cucumbers maybe whatever they were Gorgon was like chewing rocks and high Fleet Mendoza like chomping on trees or other Foliage for his stringy bitter and boring High Fleet Hydra was fishy like the little ones from the toe Empire there were more out there everyone was quite sure like an amazing service that came to your very own home and provided not only entertainment but then I find her past the buggins were often seen as a gift from gork and Mork themselves no matter what happened it would be a fantastic time win lose or door for the plugins May well high but when discovered they did not run and there was no finer spectacle in melee combat than two races being motivated to not just defeat but then to eat their opposition sidebar over Conan was no slouch in this situation either as he made sure all of the main galleys on each stair sheep ready for deliveries of the Delicacies if the floor space was correct and the buggins in as many numbers as Cronan hoped there would be far less if any need to forage on the ways or the Stars fine dining in a massive shape although this bash store may have attempted to betray him and was secretly working for that rich tow bar he had indeed fulfilled his side of the bargain now Cronin considered almost feeling a bit guilty about pummeling and smashing the being into dust but then one can never regret one's actions as long as they are made to the best of your ability with consideration to all of the information one had at the time of making said decision if there was one thing that could turn a chipper chappie into a down in the doldrum's unhappy camper it was most definitely regret weighing a body down luckily Cronen has with near all greenskins had not even a whiff of a conscience in such situations and that's his Elan you know his morale was as fine as can be well apart from being personally responsible for not being first into the rug but again Cronan knew he had bigger fish to fry this day Cronan was not even mildly surprised at the Aquatic motifs that seemed to be playing out in his head as he looked over at the Audi Admiral hackbar but he grinned for Cronin had decided exactly what he would do with this part of the duo of his feet Commanders grandmouth Tartan he had now decided would lead his main Fleet he was not too cautious was incredibly violent and had a Mean Streak about 10 miles wide yet he was intimidated by Cronan and even tragic violence made him nervous hence Cronan had plumped on him being his direct Fleet stooge and that meant that the shrieking weirdo hackbar could be used in the first leg of cronan's plans for Cronan did not intend to perform his attacks in a standard way he intended to be so unfathomably cunning than not even the humies would be able to see what he was doing and it's at regard the unfortunate preponderances of the disfigured hackbar matched up to the use which Cronan had for him and so it was that while the main engagement of the days were about clearing out the huge space Hulk the newly dubbed Orcs of omen Cronen and his second choice of Admiral were off in the outer regions of the system lighting around the asteroid belts for Cronen had been discussing his hopes with the Mech boy izap and his understudies and isap had divulged to his Lord the ways of traveling across the stairs and how they would have to go through the warp he explained that things moved faster there like everything was painted red by simply moving into that realm but the travel would still take time thus Cronin was mildly concerned that the boys would lose their fightiness if this kept up so he made certain in every meeting with his new bosses that they were absolutely abundantly clear that there was to be no and he meant zip zero use of human smeller Fields across the fleet when he also informed the atmos to remove the faces of gawk and Mork from the powers of their vessels which were specifically designed to ward off Cosmic Horrors while in transit the Admirals both looked at him lucky he had been bashed over the head with the stupid stick and then Fallen backwards into a bottomless Chasm of ignorance and smooth painting competence before finally landing on a spike of ancient Provident powered by runes cast by the guards themselves stating here lies the stupidest orc of all time but Cronen soon impressed upon both Admiral's hackbar and Grand Mal's Tartan that he wished absolutely nothing to impede the armies of the fat one the girl the nerd and the juice gone from coming aboard if they thought they were odd enough and that was final and also it was at that meeting that Cronen heard about rocks how large asteroid could be snagged and then pretty much scooped out and converted into a sheep of the Orcs And Crone end like this idea indeed especially when eyes I've informed him of how the rocks made Planet fall and what effect it would have on any Defenders of the world in question after about an hour of laughter which most indeed finds slightly too long to the extent that some of cronin's lesion looked at each other as scars Cronen demanded the creation of at least a baker's dozen of those most hilarious a ride and so it was the bylaw of the fleet mainly concentrated on the Orcs of omen Cronan was off on the Mork rampant shadowed by hackbar's gutless Wonder as they dragged one after another asteroid of any real size back to the gathered War for Cronan was planning ahead now and he had in his infinite wisdom and cunning discovered the art of multitasking now I shot go into a sidebar about that one just yet seeing as we had the bistro buggins one and the booty one but I shall go into it in the future don't let me forget now we all know how I Rampage Along on these massive waffles and get so carried away I miss out on many a new ones and so it was the Cronen was never idle anymore his break amongst our snake bites still not that distant of memory he was utterly energized and prepared to go the distance and of course that would mean he did not wish to take a break until he had reached his goal his dream his gaining of that elusive final prize in his growing collection but I think we all know what he was thinking about then hey the gold ones and so it was that the three massive mobs Of Orcs were conveyed to the awaiting Hawk and quickly jumped into position on many many levels all around the central segment of the Sheep this would be no cagey creeping around with knees bent style of Affair nobody would be rolling around in mud so the bastards could not see them and none would be forming delicately overlapping two by two covering formation advances no this was to be done the orky way well that is what most predicted anyway when the final Claxton went off across the entire spacehog set off early so the buggins were fully awake and ready for the eruptions it was indeed a spectacle to fill even the heart of Walk With Pride for in that same moment scores of hatches airlocks barricades and blast doors were finally ripped or burnt pummeled or even blasted down by weird boys and in came the Orcs as if it were a treasure hunt for a life-altering amount of bling it was of course but the main effect was my intention imagine many thousands of soccer hooligans being given massive wraps of amphetamines and told that there is a secret stash somewhere inside the stadium just before the doors open now imagine that green horde all attempting to expose through the doors the screaming shouting in bellowing was eardrum bursting and that was not counting those being crushed in the stampede after they had lost their footing or been tripped up by one of the many many grots that have been marshaled at the entrance for the grots were out in strength as well hidden amongst their number were not an inconsiderable number of video clots doing their best to take footage of the events being grot and being given the one job in their life that they could generally be proud of as all suspected or at least hoped that their own images would make it onto the wah broadcast the little runts went in it with Verve and a real zeal yet among such an avalanche of the week rot none of the proper boys paid them a second thought to nor attention despite how many times the two Orcs are bass slapped or cuddled them back from the doorways the incident said doorways were open there was a shrill scream from every one of the riches as they charged into the Open Spaces and corridors held by the buggins Cronan watched from his Battleship the Mork rampant laughing as deeply as anyone else present as the Carnage began it was an absolute bloodbath from the first second as it Orcs charge into the rooms and corridors the leadership scripts of the three bosses swiftly became apparent tragic violence formerly a storm boy and being accustomed to Leading Conan's back Legion was soon bellowing disparaging curses at his mobs as they did not adhere to or simply could not remember his overwrought formations yet as he barged his way to the front he kept his head and adapted quickly after splashing a pyramid of got dead falling down from the higher ceiling of the entry room he got stuck in nicely and pretty much went with the flow he now merely thrusters power Chopper in directions and shouted at those closest to him to fire into the darkness above soon not only grotz were amongst the falling dead a flash boom grade was thrown up and the last of the buggins were slain by Orcs shooting their entire Clips in their general direction and of course being Orcs it was a very general direction indeed but tragic violence was getting a handle on things now and they pushed on good he could be flexible when needed sword Cronan Cronan looked on an amusement as his favorite mcmurder stood back from his main moms for a moment as the doors went down and he made a great gesture of bowing as the tsunami of grots passed him into the corridors docks themselves joined in and slapped each other on the back and portaled as they looked inside with mcmurder he was in fits of laughter so badly tears of Mirth streaked his grimy face as he watched the barbarities had ensued for the buggins her response wave of Their Own as the gods who charged in were soon witnessed to an earthquake like Rumble as a stampeding buggins came into view smaller than most they had claws instead of front hands and leapt Into The Fray as it all screamed hissed and screeched on both sides the limb's head Blood and Bones were spraying across the wall so much a river of liquids and awful began to run in the corridors Conan checked his data State huh but Mars could never overwhelm wire aggression for long and get squisher mcmurder now threw his bed back and bellowed all his mobs followed suit then they marched into the madness mcmurda was pushing forward now and no bugging could match him none could stand before his mighty and Meaty power claw swings as expected Cronin thought the Mad lad was doing well but what was this with green at a backstabber for it was utterly unexpected cronin's eyes were sorted as he watched the strangest thing in his life after all the signs standing about rather crestfallen and verging on moping grinner had seemed to change tack on a flight between the Mork rampant and the orc of Omens for he was right there riding a wave of grots right into the middle of the first Chambers right at the front and he was letting off such a colossal fuselard of Dhaka that even Cronan was impressed and Cronen finally saw white grinner was a big boss Whirlwind of twisting and firing reloading and returning to it annihilating all of the ceiling dwellers before even a single grot fell in his sector Cronan darted to his data slate ah these buggins were called Liquors yet when some of the Liquors drop down and tore through the grots around grinner he did not miss a Beat the majority of his orc mobs had been held back by the Russian grot so grinner was practically alone in the dead center of the room he dropped his suitors and Drew out his double-handed double-headed power Chopper and by gork did he go to work Conan was finding a totally newfound respect of this hitherto underrated orc for grinner did not move from the spot well he dodged upwards Twisted sideways evaded literally scores of attacks from the Nimble and lightning fast flickers yet so few connected with him before he made them into shish kebab and sword was the Gunner seemed to relax somewhat when his mobs of real Orcs passed him and charged into the main thoroughfares coming from the central room but he did not scrimp on hollering out orders to his boys as they passed him a slick mob of flashed it now moved to him in a circle and from there grinner moved forward fast yet he was perpetually looking at something being projected from his hat Cronan took note immediately sitting up in a Flash greeners hat seem to have some form of green light coming from it protecting some form of schematic into his hand when he put it near his eye line but that and grinner then gathered more of his flash kit and the beefiest of knobs and starting pushing in a completely different direction to the majority of his army tragic violence now moved forward as a steady Pace following what was the river of awful and excretions yet soon enough the grotz stopped moving forward and started backing up and causing blockages as emit resistance a little more fighty than Mia Homer get this prong of the assault had gone into a region where the floors and walls were intensely shiny and slippy light appeared from nowhere and the walls themselves glowed but this did not help the greenskins much as the creatures within the light were as camouflaged as the previous Liquors had been in the Darkness far out of seemingly endless side tunnels came four armed nasties the claws sliced through even Mega armor like they were fishnet stockings the speed was near that of an elder their aggression equaling the Orcs own and they pelted into awkward and dragged victims down corridors leading those who gave Chase into rooms full of their kind dogs were not having an easy time of it at all but that just made the entire event even more thoroughly enjoyable as we have discussed before this was a very finest quality fighting outside of charging into a legion of densely packed our starters some things that had not happened in a veritable age not that Cronin would have known of course speaking of which he then summed his way through until he identified the buggins of white and Claw they were the spleen Stealers or something like that and cranky they didn't half match up to the name this time but back to the action tragic violence called for a close formation he was right of course as the Orcs could have then gunned down the spring Steelers when they burst from their side alleys but again it was not to be so now again going with the flow tragic violence sent out knobs with heavy mobs to back up those who had followed the enemy down into those traps by sheer weight of numbers the dint of Conan's effect on the girth and stature of the boys they were now hammering the Steelers wherever they found them but the cost was incredibly High in most regions there was not one inch of light paneled walls that were not spattered with bugging or awk blood progress was costly but it was going a pace back to get squisher now croonen had a front row seat for the next stages as one gloriously dedicated grot had decided to just concentrate on the big boss of his wing of the army Cronan himself leaned into the vid viewer as he saw what was happening next forget scooter mcmurder and his gang had come into a huge cargo area of what was clearly a human ship interior one they were used to at the least for there were skulls and columns and images of the gaudy emperor of mankind all over the place of course the image of the emperor always bothered Cronan his eyes narrowed as he looked at the statues wondering if that prophetic pervert was still watching him dump but it was but a fleeting distraction as action resumed in a huge cargo bay things now smashed into the air and fell around a huge force that was approaching the line of gods and Orcs the debris was held in all directions the ground shook under the Orcs as they laid each other where anyone from any other race would probably have colored the front or back of their britches the Orcs just giggled in anticipation the clanger rose as the things got closer then they barreled into view Corona and had them immediately for he'd like to look of these ones twice the size of an orchid or shoulder ten times the weight of one their massive sizing Talons and snapping claws titanus armor so thick that even big Ducker ricocheted off their eyes when these things hit his lines the green skins were smashed back torn under massive Hooves melted by gouts of plasma that seemed to burst from these things Moors they were corny flexors some of the most brighty and fighty on the menu they were huge but not that plentiful get squisher boomed out with laughter as he charged in amongst them McMurray himself was a fine specimen of an orc even for a boss and he went to work bouncing and charging between the bidious buggins he would put a crack grenade into his power claw then punch it into the flanks or under Betty of a corniflex he would then let go before pulling his claw out of the rampaging Beast astonishingly this brutal and cunning maneuver still need to finish off all he used it upon and these buggins would have explosions of blood and viscera smash out from them but if they survived the initial explosion they regenerated so swiftly that they were soon back on the attack and many who were killed then went into some mad death throws their dying bodies lashing out had anything and everyone in range before expiring Cronan was mightily impressed with how mcmurda had performed yet again for The corniflexes Who reacted to the boss were forced to follow him and turn their backs on the encircling shooter and Chopper boys and within no time at all the last of the qualiflexes had been put down on when kids squisher with murder and his mobs into even deeper Realms of the Sheep switching to the vidgrot who had been in the third Force crown and could not really get a good angle on what was going on for it seemed odd that so many of green and the backstabbers flashed it seemed to accidentally unload their weapons into the vidgart I mean really unlucky shot considering that there was only got about to check if their weapons were still active yet one or two still remained it seemed to Cronin that the previous momentum and Valor of the boss had now depleted at a shocking rate for now he and his Entourage seem to be taking a very odd route indeed they would move up stairwells down corridors then round corners and with tragic bad luck again it seemed War the grinner was somehow not managing to encounter a single massing of the buggins all he and his men were fighting hard but it seemed to be against termagets little things with guns that generally bounced off the flash gets in gorilla's armor and on it went until the group met the central point and Genesis of the wee bugging blighters for grinner on a score of his most heavily armored Lads dropped down into a room and a loaded shooter and Blaster and heavy Rockets into these Large mama buggins who were previously blurting out tourmigits like there was a competition to see who could burst the most Tracy Garns confirmed Cronen on his data slate GERD strange the grinner then seemed to move in more directions was simply Dreadful luck as it was a dearth of buggins of note to fight again now Cronan was almost feeling a little sad for grinner right in the middle of the action yet getting only piffling amounts of it himself but it was the Hat again the Drew cronin's attention for grinner went back to check in the schematic from his hat Cronen would have to take a peek at this hat if grinner made it back of course yet cronan's reverie was broken by very unexpected occurrence tragic violence was leading from the front now rooting for his boys to keep up with him he led a charge down a very large Corridor so long that none could see its other side in the darkness it was even longer than the corridor of butts on all Colonia yet something huge came flashing down it the blast was so wide and Powerful that it illuminated entire segments of its surroundings as it came closer with simply no way to retreat no place to duck Dodge or hide tragic violence took it straight in the face to cronan's Art to shock tragic had attempted to grab groths and boys and hold him in front of himself to mitigate some of the impact acronym was not shocked that he would instinctively choose to use others as a living orky Shield who had not Cronan himself done this very self-sane ding in the squid games it was a tragic violence was unable to perform the deed well despite it being shown practically nightly on the fleet Reds and it was with a sniff of disappointment and good riddance that Cronan watched as the ball of buggin's energy smashed into tragic and lit him up like a poodle being hit by lightning his skeleton showed up even behind his armor for the mere second then he was gone his mighty Boots the only thing left the light now Shone for a moment down to the corridor's end and there standing at the aperture but in a much larger room was a huge buggins with a meaty Ducker blurter in hand it was a trying to flex a blast of buggin's pie excellence nobody was getting down that Corridor anytime soon not because of the buggin's fire but because none dared to even begin the charge into that small confined tube of Saturn death cronin's side he had expected casualties but not this stupid a death and from the catapang generous of his own Honor Guard yet Cronin now Shrugged smirked and stood up called on the bridge now looked at him and also Laird as a word went out the black lesion was to go to war for tragic had been slain hence his entire Army could be smashed without a decent boss being there to direct and hold the mobs together with his vid grots marching in front of Cronan so he could still enjoy the proceedings he now made his way to the hangar Bays of the Walk rampant the marching of his Mega armored Mega knob Legion stomping behind him well a few hundred anyways some more were already in situ ready to counter any breakout attempts from the buggins but the buggins were doing well and they had no reason to leave their lairs and so it was the Cronen set off to take command of the third assault prong a March's Legion into the midst of the terror kid Factory to be continued

Channel: Baldermort's Guide to Warhammer

Views: 48,002

Keywords: Ork lore, Warhammer Comedy, Legend of Kronan Da Kunnin, Kronan Da Kunnin, Orks, Greenskins, Orks of Omens, Arks of Omens, Bashtorr, BASHTORR, Vashtorr, Games Workshop, ORKS OF OMEN: BASHTORR, Tiddles, Tiddles lore, baldermort, Baldemort, Guides to warhammer, Warhammer for beginners, Comedic Orks, Funny Orks, Admiral Hackbar, Grand Mouth Tartan, Grand moth tarkin, Grand Moff tarkin, Kronan and the Tyranid Factory, Tyranid, Tyranid Factory, 40k

Id: 9jExYbIwfIc

Length: 55min 17sec (3317 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 30 2023