Kimberly (Full Episode) — FIRSTHAND: Homeless

[Applause] [Music] maybe it's [Music] working what do you see yeah Turtle can live inside my what butterfly you want [Music] I feel like there's a big stereotype around homeless people they're uneducated and not caring about their mental health or physical health or they've just given up on life I want to keep on going I want to keep on learning and I've worked really hard to prove that just because I'm homeless doesn't mean I've given up on everything else it's not my fault that I've been through all that been through and this is what I have to deal with now the drink the drink she going to re It Jasmine sorry no no jumpy you want to say hi to the camera hi M here do you want blue or pink Mommy's going to put pink in your hair I was going to nursing school an hour away from Chicago and I became pregnant it it was a really happy moment for me because I have polyc ovary syndrome and so the doctors were like you're not going to get pregnant but then Jasmine came along you can still watch it no J let Mommy get that no ma'am it was a Christian school and I didn't end up marrying the father she always looks so beautiful they ended up taking away my housing and my food thank you there you go that's when I started sleeping in my car and then couch surfing while still trying to go to school because I didn't have anywhere else to go yeah you know what this is I wanted to finish nursing school I wanted to get a job I wanted to get a house for me and my daughter but it was really hard for me to juggle everything while the college was not really giving me any resources yay yeah good job I overheard one of my friends saying they have more in Chicago because Chicago is such a city you can come in got someone here so we'll just work on the child care application I live in a t and that's a Transitional Living Program it's a step up from a shelter because I get to stay inside throughout the day but it's not my own place yet it's basically just like having a roommate but it's a stranger that I don't even know are you still close to talking yeah she says hi really well when she wants to like a very pronounced high and then a very pronounced by I really wanted to try and get her into the monu yeah that's the one that I called oh okay I heard Mona really helps like learning do you help it's very like independently I know you're frustrated Jasmine oh no oh no do you want to try and put it together again here it's the other way it's this way okay oh are you tired good job usually montauri they kind of like can explore and see what they're interested in and like it's like less structured than a typical daycare so that could be cool for her I obviously make sure like things are safe but um really for her to like find out what she wants to do and what she likes anything else you want to talk about today do you know anything about subsidized housing and how long that whole thing takes I don't think we usually like work with outside agencies on that okay but if it's something you're interested we can look into like applications and stuff I just don't know how long it's going to take like I'm a little upset about my credit cuz living in a transitional apartment compared to a normal apartment there's a lot of rules to follow it almost feels like a halfway house and then they check in on you and there's been times they've just like came in on me dressing you want more and it just feels like I don't really have a whole lot of privacy she was parched yes it is frustrating sometimes it's like why can't I just live my life like I'm already going through so much I just want to be able to do simple things I actually have an email about it too it says I'm pleased to inform you that a two-bedroom Illinois srn applicant be careful jasine has become available we one of the several households from our inclusionary housing waiting list to be notified of this available unit it sounds exciting but yeah hopefully it works out let me know like what happens with that and then it's definitely hard just like jumping from like shelter to shelter and then to a Transitional Living Program and it's just like I just wish I could have my own place to call home I guess bye Jasmine byee [Music] byebye my name is Kimberly um my pronouns are she her and I'm feeling a lot of emotions today but good emotions do you want to say your name and your pronoun and how you're feeling how you're feeling today and how feeling today yeah okay youth for truth is a program for homeless youth that I go to every Wednesday at the Night Ministry since I'm doing the inspiration talk on Mental Health I saw this post so I want to share that with you guys today when you're homeless you're always in pure survival mode it basically heightened all of my mental health issues times 10 no matter where you are in life no matter how low you have sunk no matter how Bleak your situation this is not the end this is not I've always dealt with mental health issues ever since I was nine cuz my dad left and then my mom was going through a struggle too and I felt really depressed you will find I'm diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia symptoms depression anxiety PTSD and ADHD symptoms and I know that's a lot lot and it is a lot I don't give myself enough credit on how I'm really functioning and surviving in the world don't give up you're more than worthy you deserve to experience how great life can be and you owe it to the world to be that positive change for others who will look to you and say she did it he did it and I came too yeah I just thought that would really resonate with a lot of people well what else 10 minutes to explore a new idea 10 minutes to build a lasting memory 10 minutes to recognize the good stuff or 10 minutes to let your mind wander yeah let my mind wander we can do one at the end of each meeting May okay yeah that's a smart idea that would actually be a good time to like what did you put for that visiting Japan and skydiving skydiving yeah I feel like it's going to be a rush you you dat Michelle do you think you would Skydive no no you want but you know I've gone I've tried to go three times and I backed out every single time I just couldn't jum me back on the ground and anyone to share if you want two things in your life for the world around you that are changing I said my mental health and my spiritual guidance three things that meant a lot to me is my family friends and mental health my daughter number one um two I want to start a business three still helping others whatever I'm doing I just want to help people so yeah that's important to me you've done so much so many people already thank you I appreciate that just getting started out you can do it sorry she's just um Jasmine but um on the email they said that this unit is available but I'm one of several households from the weight list so like How likely is it that it is ours I didn't know the whole process of CHA and like getting in and like maybe I'm going to get a house or an apartment right away because I don't want to stay in shelters anymore so what it is mine is just like it'll take like 3 months to get in right but it is like official yeah it's like official just be patient okay so it just take months which is completely fine but like just hold on okay that's really good to hear then okay thank you again bye okay this set is here yes the process is just going to take a bit and hopefully like nothing happens in the process like bad happens in the process so as of right now I guess such a big deal I know thank you I'm going to try not to [Music] cry okay J okay J okay do you want to get out cuzz mommy has an appointment oh go okay how are you I know that I do come across as like put together and organized biolog I have my associates in biology like when I went to high school I also did college credits so when I graduated high school I also graduated with my associates in biology I'm really proud of my degree because worked really really hard because throughout high school and college I had an IEP I don't know how I did it but I got through it it's an accommodation to help you because your mind works at a slower rate I just wish I could function normally and not have all these different thoughts or like flashbacks or anxiety or just like bouncing back and forth in my head and just like going up and down with everything so that's when I saw the doctor and she was saying that I have bipolar with some schizophrenia symptoms because of what I've been going through living at shelters and everything it's my mental health has been declining with my mental health it varies like there's a lot of off days that I have because I struggle with so much here mom's going to get you out I know mommy's getting you out Jasmine it just feels like that I can't even focus correctly like today I'm so sorry okay ready one 2 3 I feel like a lot of people think that like I'm okay and that I don't have anything wrong with me in reality it probably means that I'm struggling five times as hard to get one task done it's honestly it hurts me because it just feels like because of the things that I'm doing I don't deserve to have help it's okay jasine come on it's okay ready one two three no okay oh go sit momm she's just not feeling the best bye I feel like I didn't answer the questions right and I feel like don't fall backing same as bingo I know you love bingo so cute say thank youo you want that say peekaboo yeah she stole my heart when she first came through the door I was like oh my God she's so adorable she like Kimberly you hugy give a hug give a kiss you rocking the baby that's what she learned from you you were going through a lot of stuff you still hurt your love and protect it when I first became homeless I remember staying couple nights in my car and that was really hard because I felt horrible for my daughter that she had to sleep in a car seat the whole couple nights and like did I park not in a safe area where the cops were going to come by and be like ma'am what are you doing in your car at 3:00 a.m. with your child yes you're just hugging the baby I know cuz it's how you did her I watched you I made sure that she what she say cuz my job is to keep you safe and keep her safe as well when I looked up resources to help homeless mother's drop-ins came up Covenant House is a dropin center for homeless Youth and we got to eat food have a safe place to stay during the day that I wasn't so vulnerable on the street but then they also have case workers there so now remember be working on a to-do list so we going to do a to-do okay is there like a list of like all the Section 8 housing buildings the last time I looked it said I was on a weight list for 25 years yes but it doesn't hurt to be on there cuz sometime they you know what we're going to open a list up but that is a 25 year going to check in once a week and the second goal is I know you talked about going to school or getting a job yeah I do want to go back to school nursing school I also really wanted to do something in social work because of my internship at the Night Ministry because I advocate for definitely moms but kids you s a social work already you remember when you first came remember you were like you were very terrified more so because we had to baby with you I got that and that was my biggest concern was helping you where you at yeah cuz the shelter wasn't really the best there was a lot of things going on so staying at the shelter there were ups and downs to it I didn't have to stay in my car I didn't have to couch surf anymore so that was definitely a positive but the longer I stayed there there was more troubles that came up the first G he was like Mr P some guys were trying to take my car I there's this guy there that he knew that I had a car because I that's where I kept all my stuff at he asked me if I could take him to steal phones basically so I told him no and that's when he was saying I know where you stay I know where you go and that really freaked me out he then sent his friends on me to use my car for things or do different deals for them the last guy he got really aggressive with me and it really scared me and that's where I was like okay this isn't going away anytime soon I'm going to have to go somewhere else you handle that though you did I know they had to be hard it was hard yeah but I'm happy that we're safe now and that I did get through them I just don't want to be so down again I can hear your voice that when you first came in you like talked in a whispering and you didn't ask a lot and I'm like Kimberly we're here you have to ask us cuz I don't know what you need he was like I think I'm DC that's that be involved I'm like no you're homeless no and that's that's understandable fear mhm to know that if you're homeless could they take your baby from you and I when I was staying at my first shelter I was standing at the door this lady walks by and she was like what are you doing I was like I'm staying here waiting for the shelter and she was like and you're a mother you ate all it made me feel sad and angry that like who is she to just judge me okay so now we got and I was scared that like she was either going to call the cops or call DCFS it wasn't neglect you were helpless it's a big difference I got your story I got you mhm and I'm just glad you felt safe to share it cuz we talked about a lot of stuff yes we did I'm like it's okay it's okay you're fine with us you're okay yeah it really was my I know I saw it on you when we have groups and stuff you might want to come and do group on being a Teen Mom the fear of being a Teen Mom on the streets that would be amazing I would love to do that and talk about what I went through so other mothers can be like okay I'm Not Alone come on J okay ready 1 two [Applause] [Music] three a lot of the women that are homeless they're coming from worse situations things that happened to me should have never happened to a child losing my dad I mean he did just completely abandon all of his children and my mom took it really hard she was struggling as a single mom and I mean I'm a single mom too so I know the struggle you got it jasm I know that she didn't want to hurt us because she was struggling with her own issues but because I was the oldest I felt like I had to take everything really look out for my siblings and be there for them and be the adult you want to go up again you can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it it just seemed like she took it out on me she would always always say things like oh you have like a really big stomach or you have too much cellulite or you're fat or you're or you're a listening to all those things about me I started to believe it I thought about suicide a lot as a kid are you having fun jazzers I mean I didn't even know I was going to have a kid at the time but I just wanted to make my life better and I knew the only way to do that was to get out it lingers with me it doesn't go [Music] away and I knew that I would not be in a good enough mental health state to raise my daughter while trying to find myself will that really shaped me into who I am today that you have to be adaptable and you have to keep on going no matter what happens and that if anything bad is happening that you can always turn around and make it positive I really really thought about the times that I had to go through where I felt alone and I don't want my daughter to go through the same and I'm trying to parent a different way do I don't want to treat my daughter as if she has to change herself in order to be loved by [Music] and I just want her to know that I love her no matter what and not take my insecurities my struggles that I had throughout the day take that out on [Applause] her Yay good job J car is flown sh definitely has this is incredible that we're able to get this opportunity and you guys are able to share your thoughts directly with people who have the ability to make change so I'm excited for you guys we're going to Washington DC to meet with elective officials to talk about more shelters for homeless youth the programs that are impacted by The Runaway and homeless youth act are all the ones down here including Transitional Living which which includes maternity group homes or parenting programs and things like that so this is really the major piece of legislation out there that deals with young people who are unhoused most of the other pieces of legislation at the federal level young people are kind of like looped in with everyone experiencing homelessness right and so this is very specific very specific to your needs so that's what's great about this legislation so yeah I think I think folks will have a real impact um on kind of how this rolls out and so I'm excited to set up that meeting and help you all prepare for it thanks thank you Ted yep anytime questions now that we have more specifics of what we're actually going to be talking about look at these points and see which ones are the most um well the ones that stand out to you the most and the ones that are most impactful to you and Jasmine are we able to talk about shelters too okay yeah I definitely would I know that you're passionate about expanding beds and making sure that everybody has a safe place to be um so you can speak about that when you guys speak the way that you do with the passion that you have I mean that that that needs to land somewhere in front of the ears of people who can make those changes so here we go see what we can do youth for truth taking over [Music] [Music] you see the bird jasine it's going to be our first day of [Music] daycare you're going to make lots of friends okay nice to meet you too I feel empty without her like like I'm so used to doing everything with her and being by her all the time I just miss her she's going be [Music] kind thank you for meeting with me Kimberly I was thinking we just talk about kind of any feedback that you have for how Street light's been going and your participation in it all of the feedback yall had about the app the resources we were missing it was just really helpful listening to you all you and street life is an app that Chicago CIS of the homeless is making that helps homeless people with resources such as clothing and food and legal services and I'm on the committee to make that happen um and I'm just really grateful that we kind of inadvertently started this little Community where we could exchange information that's why I really wanted to join this whole thing cuz it felt like I was really going to give back and I just like I know I've been through this and I know other people are going through this now what can I do to make a change yeah when I didn't have my shelter to go to like I didn't know where else to go and like I didn't know how to do things myself so I had to spend a night in the hospital because it was too late to find somewhere to stay so I'm really excited for the app cuz I know it has that resource you should feel empowered and autonomous when you have to be in the situation that is like not the most fun to be in yeah the advocacy work that I do I just want to be able to be the person that I felt like I didn't have when I was homeless okay so I put in a little bit of information that's sit in the corner oh my gosh that's some way can you go back oh my gosh I we're going to and then this is the home page it's hard when you're going through so much by yourself and you feel like you don't have anyone to turn to and how do you even put the words together to look up for even what you're looking for I want to be there to help them be like I know what you mean and this is how it's going to help you and then that's really nice for hospitals cuz if no one else has anywhere to go at least they have like police stations or hospitals I think we have to add a note that that's what you can do at these locations like I feel like people that so we should add a little likeo button I have been starting to put in information so there's not a lot in these right now I think there's like an example one and then we have a list of services expect food and some hot meals yeah and also if you need to know the times I have the times of when they serve meals oh that's an interesting thing to include that's a really good idea also for the laundry cuz I know like on Youth Center M they stop serving lunch at like 1 and then like laundry you have to get there before 1 no I like that a lot cuz we can add this little dot dot dot to like anything so if we made it consistent that like the laundry times and like the meal times I think that'd be really helpful for folks yes um definitely would be helpful cuz I had no clue totally you specifically have been giving really good feedback I think you're doing a really amazing job and I'm so happy I'm working with you and like I want to be involved in so much more so our team is hiring an intern for marketing in general did you see that email okay wait let me show you it's amazing how I've seen myself grow from first coming here and being scared to talk to anybody being shy now where I am where I'm really trying to put myself out there and I'm talking to people and I'm making connections yeah I would definitely apply for it cuz I'm starting to more into social media so thank you so much for the opportunity I really appreciate that I I didn't even know hi so there's a little bit of a change to the itinerary DC well everything is staying the same uh with the first day and then day two we're going to do the guided Capital Tour and then here's where things have changed a bit um so Ted called me this morning and he got a call from the folks that we were supposed to sit down with uh for our meeting and they are no longer available which is really a bummer very unfortunate but Ted has arranged to do a tour and talk with folks who work in the Supreme Court building so there's still going to be opportunity to speak to people it just might not be the original conversation that we had planned but want to hear what your guys thoughts are about that I'm really shocked that it really happened so last minute yeah I agree Kimberly it's a major bummer that it happened last minute is disappointing that we're not going to be able to meet with the elective officials and talk about shelters for homeless youth let's keep our fingers crossed our hopes High um that we're still able to get in front of some folks but in the meantime you know we're still going to have a great time learning exploring and putting our stamp of Youth for truth on DC somehow someway we will still do that are we able to Lobby that's a good question I I would hope so I just don't know what form that's going to look like if we can just like stand around we may not be able to meet those officials that we were going to talk to but maybe we can come across some other ones and then we're going to be able to have a chance to talk to them about our stories and everything and get the word out yeah yeah I agree I mean I like where your head is at you're always thinking in the right head space of okay well this isn't going to happen anymore so what can we do to still get our impact across MH so we'll figure it out when we get there bye but now it's time to move on and get to the next thing here's a video of the plane I'm really happy with how it came out see like look that's just so really pretty so when we got to DC we walked to the different museums we went to the African-American Museum first and it was very educational after that we went to the botanic garden it was so pretty like the scenery I got to sit down and just watch it but this is a picture I took and I also took a picture of a flower on the second day we tour the capital building and we went to go see Congressman Mike Quigley's office I would say that honestly like out of and I'm not saying it just cuz it's our office but like this is like the nicest definitely so this is the congressman's office um this is the coolest part so we'll probably just I was just thinking how hard and how much time it really takes to like pass a bill or pass a vote or just get anything moving but it also made me realize that that place is like a place where dreams could be heard so I think it's a place that possibilities can come [Music] true everything that I've been through I've always wondered why am I going through this and I feel like my purpose is to serve I know it sounds like an absurd idea I really want to be able to buy a building and turn that building into a place for people who need to stay like how am I going to do that like that seems impossible and I know it it feels like that now but I feel like I'm going to be able to do that in the future oh she's looking at the my baby I never really thought about this because of all the things that I went through as a child but I would like to have a husband and I would like to have a family done I'm going to open his back up that's all I ever want for Jasmine is just to be a happy family and be able to have a husband that I feel like is like my best friend and that I feel like they're not going to harm me in any way I really really hope that works out for me and I hope she can grow up into whatever she wants to be she has my love no matter what she wants to do as long as like she doesn't forget about me good job you want the kitty I feel like there's times that we may fight I know that the kids will always love their moms and the moms will always love their kids I wrote something down do you want to read it to me is that okay not okay if there's one thing I want you to take from this documentary is to not look at us and just judge us but to really feel how we feel if you were to be in our shoes we just want love and to spread love to others and to help people because the pain going through it I wouldn't want anyone else to go through that and I wish other people could see that too [Music] d

Channel: WTTW

Views: 26,481

Keywords: firsthand show, firsthand wttw, first hand homeless, wttw first hand homeless, firsthand homeless, homelessness in america, homelessness, unhoused, documentaries 2024, documentary, documentary series, docuseries, chicago documentary, documentary 2024, firsthand shows, homelessness in america ted talk, full episode, tv shows - topic, real stories, full documentary, chicago homeless, wttw chicago, homeless living in car

Id: dBYTpkIdD8U

Length: 34min 35sec (2075 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 19 2024