Jackie (Full Episode) — FIRSTHAND: Homeless

[Music] I always tell myself man I was meant to be a mom more than anything I love being a mom I always make sure that my kids are my number one priority kids work than me that's how I am did you eat yourself in your Lun let me see let me see just the candy zoie is 6 years old she is an honoral student she got all A's in school she will joke around with you and you know like let's play games someone doesn't have candy she'll go into her bag and be like here's some candy I got I got some if you want some she's a sweetheart let's wait for your brother come on [Applause] okay my oldest is is oel he's eight what' you do today in school ma he loves math he's like Mom what's 12 * 12 144 and I was like you didn't even give me a chance to answer how work what kind of math is it Division division only division only yeah okay now what you do for um I had to pick up three people today but two people cancelled wow why um I don't he's always by my side like Mom are you okay Mom do need help Mom um I could rub your feet He's My Little Rock at lunch there just talking so much oh so you guys all got in trouble a YouTube channel I wasn't even talking I was in the middle one being quiet okay I am currently in a shelter been here for about a little over three months I was ashamed at first because I felt like I have to be more responsible how did I let myself get to this point we get a bik Christmas a bik I lost my home because me and my mom and my sister we got into a really big argument we were sharing an apartment and as my sister was getting ready for work she just kind of blew up was like you know the house is really a mess you're just sleeping here cuz at the time I was I was not working so you know she had all the responsibility with the bills then we just started arguing and then my mom came and we started arguing and you know a lot of unkind words said to each other it was kind of like get out then we were out of there my son was like what's going to happen he's worried where are we going to go where are we going to sleep do we have have to go to a park or you know what's going to happen and I was just like I'm not I'm not sure what's going to happen I've never been in the situation at that point I did think I was going to sleep in my car so I just thought it was best for JJ to be with his dad my youngest JJ he's going to be too soon I texted his dad saying you know this is the situation you know give me some time and you know I'll take it back and we can go back to our regular schedule so I'd called 311 and said hey um I'm homeless and I need somewhere to go and I ended up here I didn't know what to expect here uh neither did my kittens but once we you know talk to the staff and they let us know okay these are the rules I found it daycare started working and we just you know day by day we started settling in what you need help with mom um I need you to pick up the clothes in the closet the dirty clothes that are in the closet and put it in this hamper ready yeah is the clown they try to make it feel like you know you have a little Temporary Home home but it's not you know you you have like you know a room and you have to share with your kids you have to share your bathroom with other people and I feel like I'm stuck in a box it gets messy very quickly what kids get frustrated cuz you know we're in here most of the time CU they're not used to being confined in one room it's almost time for dinner hello let's room the rules here um you can't have food in your room we could order food only on Friday through Sunday um if you like leave for the day or you know you have work or drop off the kids you have to get a pass a week pass and we are only supposed to have either Saturday or Sunday to go out on the weekend and you only get to stay out until 6:00 p.m. on the weekends today cuz what' you guys have for lunch pizza pizza and I one was pepperoni cheese guess what it was best day in my life was it okay so what do you guys want mashed potatoes and the chicken yeah okay three trays with mashed potatoes and the chicken [Music] popey chicken pop pie what do you mean that's not a chicken popie look how delicious that looks that that's really hard on the kids too the food did you try the papa yet what do you mean you don't like it iook it they're used to they're used to my cooking it's good it's been tough especially for my oldest he's been acting out because he's frustrated he's ready to to get out of here as I am as well but I always tell my kids we just have to follow the rules for a little bit but it's going to be worth it at the end because we're going to have our place and that's what I tell them we're going to have our little home 10 people wait in line for the roller coaster two people sit in each car Circle to find the total number of cars needed I know okay go ahead five all right we supposed to do the front end and then you the second one tomorrow when is this du buai tomorrow I want to take your teacher right now and ask her I say hi no I want to see you better not be lying to me no we're supposed to do it today cuz I I be goty yesterday oh you see I was mhm for everything he has something to say your math teach he like you you are going to be a great lawyer he's like Mom I don't want to be a lawyer I want to be a police officer I was like no I think you should be a lawyer because sometimes when you're talking to me you be catching me on my own stuff and then I like okay I can't argue with you because you're right but if you want to be a police officer that I'm okay with that too yeah um we're bye put your put it away zoie y away homework time yes she wants to be a V Arian she's been saying that since she was about 3 years old and she hasn't changed her mind yet but she's like I want to make sure I can fix all the animals mom I want to make sure that they're okay and I was like if you do good in school and do everything that you know you need to do you could do whatever you want you want to go a book so we can read go get a book I'll make sure you guys are okay so you can focus on your studies as long as you guys make sure you're happy because when you get your career is what you're going to do for the rest of your life and you have the capacity for anything yes you are a Marvel [Music] oh so sweet all right let's go do my chore and then we can go outside so when I first got here I had to sweep him off the laundry room and then it changed to to mop the day room yeah be careful this is um told you that I got a different chore and now it's clean the counters in the kitchen area and we have to do that in the morning and in the evening yep I'm done hold on I'm going to kick it I told you to watch out I came in here saying you know what I'm going to get I'm going to get my life together because I don't want my kids to ever be in this situation again I don't want them to feel like that I don't want them to feel how I felt growing up going house to house school to school my dad passed away uh 2 months before I was born from a drug overdose my mom she was her drugs and her boyfriend were her priority growing up for my first couple of years I lived with my grandparents and then I ended up with my mom then my aunt and my uncle and even as a teenager I was still being bounced around the stuff that I was doing 18 19 even like 17 was not okay I could have ended up as a drug addict but I didn't because of my kids I've seen what my mom did to us she would leave us I was babysitting my sister at 5 years old for a whole weekend and I wasn't going to put my kids through that no no no I told I told when even who was in my belly you have no idea how you saved me you have no idea how much love I'm going to give you I'm I'm content with with my kids that's it that's all that matters to me JJ he's my last baby I call him my little tuline ever since he was born he'll run around he'll grab stuff he'll start fighting with his brother and sister jumping on top of them laughing he's my little ball of Joy I communicated with his dad that I needed him to watch him until I can get everything you know situated cuz you know he is Young he needs a lot of attention nap but he I don't know what he's thinking and he just decided Well I want full custody I don't want you to have any rights and you can't see him we had originally agreed on me seeing him on the weekends and I always text him in advance like hey um Saturday or Sunday work for you he won't text me back he's supposed to allow me my parent to time and he hasn't I miss him so much and it's so hard not seeing him on a daily basis because that's that's my baby and I used to being with him all the time and I know he misses me too and hearing his brother and sister say Mom I miss JJ when are we going to see JJ what are we going to [Music] do I miss my I miss my baby and it hurts it really does it hurts [Music] come on Wiggy Wiggy I could see it in their face like they're sad they're tired of the food here they're tired of just being here at this point I'm just hoping for an apartment to come through I had applied for an apartment and then we didn't get it my case manager did find me another place I'm 49th in Michigan I have been approved um waiting for the landlord to get back where are your shoes at you have everything ready go get your book bag on I'm tired too but you guys got to go to school and I got to go to work I always tell them your job right now is school you have to be responsible no more matter what sometimes I don't want to go to work today but but I have to go to work good morning bye zoie have a great day bye as soon as I drop them off I take the bus and I'm headed straight to work it'll take me maybe like 45 minutes to get there thank you but hopefully with my housing that will all change because it would be a lot closer from you know where I live to my my job I'm a bus operator and I drive um the shuttle buses at the University of Chicago well since I'm only working part time if I don't get any extra hours I'm making maybe like almost 400 every two weeks I am broke I have nothing and that's what I tell my kids too cuz they'll be like Mom can we get this and I tell no not right now but you just got paid I know but right now we can't do it thank you you as well trying to put in as much hours as I can so I can make sure that they have a good Christmas I always put them first even if I need shoes but if my daughter or one of my sons need something I'm always going to put them first my mom you know growing up she didn't put us first we did have a rocky start rebuilding our relationship cuz I was angry I didn't want to talk to her at all I didn't want anything to do with her and slowly you know she did you know reach out to me we started talking you know here and there you know she hasn't used in in years and I think that's what helped us as siblings you know get a relationship with their mom again the kids really enjoy being with their grandma like we're going to Grandma's house today I'm like yes hey come on come on in Papa I try to take them on the weekends cuz I'm usually off on the weekends the hospital hey she's on the phone we got beans or unless you want you want to go to the store with me oh we got bacon we yeah I got it this door is hard to twist is that why's always having problems with it mhm probably M you have in mind what we need to get yeah I know what we're going to get em let's go over there baby cross look Mom I found you huh there you are on your broomstick oh my God mom guess what happened you know Nubia yeah they got her what do you mean so I called her in the morning yesterday what do you mean they got her cuz she's on probation doing drugs she went to her probation officer hi oh man that's sad M was really rooing for her you know it's cuz draws are the most hardest thing you need a good support group yeah you need you need you know a lot but I always told her that if she needed me you know yeah it's cuz you really need a support group baby it's not as easy as one would think we have a lot of demons inside that sometimes just don't heal and that's just the way it is baby so yeah now I got nobody in there it's all right so hopefully my housing comes through fast it will you'll see s Anthony s Anthony help us find a home I always tell myself even though I didn't have the best mother growing up that's the only mother I have that's the only one I get and maybe you know she wasn't the greatest but now that she is clean and I see her trying to be a better her and that's all I care is about she's as long as she's a great grandma to my kids I have to let go of everything I have to let go I can't wait to cook and I'm going to make it with a lot of love don't make a mess over there when I was kicked out I was angry at first they did try to you know text me and call me like where are you are you okay but I didn't respond to them at first I was like if you really cared about me you would would have you know gave me some time to work and find my own place or you know whatever the situation was and you know living in the street something would to happen to you or whatever you know I kept on thinking that like where are they what happened you know but at least I was able to get into a shelter so now I'm okay the kids are okay I know it makes me happy I'm about to get my housing you know what Jackie that's the thing I love about you you believe in you that's amazing you know I try other people un stuck or they don't and not you I know like between you know the kids and stuff as a mom you know it's not that you compare them but I know I know Jackie that if something has to be done if I tell you you'll do it to the tea That's why Jackie sometimes I always count on you a little more or argue with me more yeah I know but at least now we're more comfortable with each other you know emotionally I'm uh you know we still have a lot of healing to do but know for the most part it feels awesome the house is peaceful and hopefully we could meet at my apartment hopefully we could cook yeah cook over there we can make some cookies or [Music] something I love you YY I love you too Mom we'll make it with no more arguing try to chop each other's heads off the food is almost done Well's I got to go check on it all right let's go check [Music] so I know we did your plan review for this month already that you are waiting an apartment to view yeah so someone already grabbed it but I called on Friday and she told me about an apartment on when I applied for the first apartment I was really excited and then it didn't come through and I had to let the kids know and that that's what hurt me the most because you know I told the kids well I found an apartment and then I'm telling them well now we don't and then the second apartment I had to tell them you know again we didn't get it so for the third one that I found out I decided not to tell them anything because you know their emotions you know I could feel it you know they they stress being in here you know my son is telling me well Mom I thought you said you know we're leaving soon we're leaving soon you know so it breaks my heart that you know I can't you know I don't have control and if if you don't get it she's just going to keep keep looking okay well hopefully you get that because it's been a long time I'm low I'm hoping it yeah yeah yeah it's hard and it's difficult and I'm frustrated and I want to get out of here but I have to be patient um is there anything else and one more thing I need to get a pass to go cuz I know how I told you about my son mhm I was supposed to see him yesterday but he dad didn't respond to me and then today he's not responding to me either so I'm going to have to do a wellbeing check okay yeah that's fine which I really don't want to do it but leaving me no choice I tried to talk to him like hey what's going on with JJ is he okay um you know what you know on the weekend you know we agreed that I can see him you know but now he's like well you could only see him for two hours and I have to be there for those two hours and I'm like that has not that the judge didn't say anything about that he's taking advantage of the situation that I'm in never yes please stop yes yes yes please stop why yes see the bus why yes o yes stop [Music] should have let me pick up your [Music] hair hello what you um I'm on my way now are you serious I already texted him Friday no text back texted him on Saturday still no response I texted him this morning and still nothing so what did you do I'm going to have to do a wellbeing check on him and then you know how you get though like the nerves your nerves start getting all crazy yeah and like that's how I'm starting to get you know the closer we get over there and I'm trying to stay positive and [Music] calm you're not doing anything bad you're checking on your baby yeah I need to know how my baby is I oh yeah he's sleeping see he woke up grumpy today stop you're really misbehaving today o and I don't need this right now come on what you guys he's acting like a fool right now oh it's stay right here don't move m shut up going through this big mess with him is just ridiculous yeah I need to do a well-being check for my son JJ I'm here at we have to communicate whe whether you like it or not we have to communicate is it uh it should be the first floor first floor unit yeah his mom if his mom is there I'm not going to put JJ in the middle of what happened between us that has nothing to do with him and I'm not going to let him suffer because of how I feel towards you or how you feel towards me that should never affect our child even though we didn't work out now we have to work out as parents JJ your son's not not currently at the residence but he is okay he's well that the order stipulates he is the full custodian no so right now it's her word against yours but he's just being so mean about everything instead of you know saying okay this is the the mother of my child let me try you know I'm not asking you to give me money I'm not asking you to help me find an apartment I was just asking for you to take your son for a little bit until I got everything situ just the report number or whatever you guys call it thank you Mom yes can can we get can you wait please like I'm on the verge of breaking down right now and you guys don't get it please stop okay you don't know how hard this is on me right now okay just please having a having I'm sorry I'm about to cry but having a mom you know not having a mom growing up I always said I'm going to be the best mom I'm going to do it for them I'm going to make sure they're first and I want to make sure that they know my mom she loves me she's going to make sure I have [Music] everything and my favorite picture of him I'm going to be that Mom that's going to be there even if I'm struggling or whatever the situation is I'm going to be there for them they're my world and that's all I live for [Music] my church is having um Fall [Music] Fest they have hot dogs chips candy apples chck or-treating for the kids say chck or- treat say thank you 1 2 3 okay ready smile oh my God you guys are so dramatic and they have pay ride to see like the neighborhood that was here and the history behind it that one right there is my favorite that corner one right there with the spider on it right I know lately they've been picking up on my emotions of everything that I'm going through but I Tred to you know tell them you know don't worry about about it it's not your worry I just want them to enjoy themselves have fun be a kid okay you're almost there okay come on one more you did it he did it keep going keep going she's conquering her fears there she comes you got this Z did you like it I L it I want to go again okay no you got [Music] it I feel like when I take them out and we're able to do things like this they're not reminded of I'm in a shelter I'm using it right now baby hopefully by Thanksgiving we won't be here but if we are so be it we still have Christmas I'm see yeah it's beautiful thank you I told I'm not a big tree cuz I don't have that much money but a little tree is fine with us how did this eyeball end up on my bed my eyeball [Music] [Music] oh he's hot he's burning he is burning okay let me go buy him some medicine on Uber what did I tell you about not zipping up this jacket even even hot cold care do you see your brother he sink do I need another child that's sick no come on your poor brother and you're not thinking about him no not thinking about him at all I am and also Grandpa and JJ yeah little toing yeah ready come on yeah give me a hug I love you have a great day okay two kisses yeah I'm watching [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you go back to sleep I'm just putting something cold in your head [Music] [Applause] how do you feel bit water so you feel like you're going to throw up does your throat hurt a little bit you need to blow your nose I heard that you guys make chicken noodle soup for someone who's like sink would you guys be able to do that for my son for dinner okay thank you drink your Gatorade okay you have to stay hydrated the medicine broke his fever cuz that's what I was worried about the the fever I always panic when my kids are sing I'm baby okay so hopefully it stays down but I just want him to rest right now I'm going to call my housing and see if there's any updates on the application that I put in for the apartment and hopefully she answers she likes to say this is rapid um rapid housing but I've had this since September it's November it's not so rapid is it but all I could do is wait and just see [Music] [Applause] [Applause] you know when we do get our own place you know we'll be able to decorate the whole thing instead of just the window [Music] seal I had set some goals for myself and I'm going to accomplish those goals no matter what it takes I see my kids in their own room playing I see me cooking yes he did we looked for another apartment I just told the kids you know let's just still be positive did you guys he like your best friend or something you guys talk every day Zoe in a tree what's his name no we're not starting that don't do it she's in first grade I look at my kids and I say you know like what kind of a mom would I be if I were to give up [Music]

Channel: WTTW

Views: 38,150

Keywords: firsthand show, firsthand wttw, first hand homeless, wttw first hand homeless, firsthand homeless, homelessness in america, homelessness, unhoused, documentaries 2024, documentary, documentary series, docuseries, chicago documentary, documentary 2024, firsthand shows, homelessness in america ted talk, full episode, tv shows - topic, real stories, full documentary, chicago homeless, wttw chicago, homeless living in car

Id: sLA0Jp9uc5s

Length: 36min 22sec (2182 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 19 2024