Previously in Subnautica.... Got you in our sights. Oh God (2x) Sal! Put her down! Scan! AHHH Fuck! NO! WHAT WHAT THE FUCK! AHHHHHHHH *Reaper kills fake Sally * *Jack is shocked that a Reaper would even think of doing something like this* Sally! We are on a mission ! Ok NO MORE WHILE WE SIT IDLY BY WHILE REAPERS IN THE OCEAN FEEL LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE *thuds chest* ITS UP TO US NOW TO GO FORTH AND SHOw THEM WHAT WE CAN DO TO SHOW THEM THE MIGHT! OF! SALLY AND JACK! All these other times we've just been together trying to farm stuff, trying to explore running away from things. Just wondering if we're okay Not any more We're coming together RIGHT NOW to FIGHT this menace! But Sally, you're looking pretty good But you could look a lot better ♪Funky electronic music starts playing♪ You have the looks down, but need some sorta- you need like a new coat of paint You need some upgrades. We need to make you the Six-billion Dollar Sally ♪♪ *snap* Here we go How are ya feeling, Sal? Sally: All systems online There we go. That's the Sal I know and love Looking very nice- Heeeeey reeeefies! Yeah, see the reefies are sick of it as well Too long have the Reefies stood by while the Reapers were just running around Everyone going around, mixing it up, saying "hey, Reapies" And the Reefies over here, like, "BITCH!" No! Not today Not today. Today is the day we fight back Today is the day we show them what we can do Let's build us some torpedoes, huh! Some vortex torpedoes. I ain't with that- I ain't messing with that gas shit anymore Vortex torpedoes That Reaper's gonna- that Reaper's gonna regret being born Geared up Geared up and ready to go! ARE YOU READY TO GO SAL?! LET ME HEAR YA OOOUUGH! OOOUUGH! Sally: AWUGH Okay, good I'm ready I'm ready Last time, you gave some pure heart ache Last time, you gave me a lot of pain But this time, the pain comes to you Hey, Reefy How's it going? You guys good? Lead me into battle! Keep your peepers people Where is this shrimp dick? Come on you big ol' lump of spaghetti Where are ya? You wanna go toe to toe with Sally again? There you are Oh, I see ya, ya big fucking blue whale C'mere C'mere! Is that gonna get ya? Is that gonna getchya? Go on get'em Get 'im Git'im. 'Sploid his face Oh ho ho Somebody almost got sucked but in to A WORLD OF HURT! Here we go Here we go, bring it on Bring it on Bring it on Get him Get him Hit him Hit him Hit him Oh! Oh! Oh! Too bad, so sad! Bitch! C'mere! Come here! No! COME BACK! Look at ya running away All scared. Afraid at what Jack's about to do to ya WHERE YA GOING! HUH! Nah huh, not today Sally We're not letting that wet noodle escape YOU AIN'T GETTING ME YOU AIN'T GETTING ME OH, BYE-BYE I AIN'T AFRAID How- how are these going through you? HUH! What are made out of? Some sorta, like, secret shit? Nah huh, c'mere. C'mere! NGAH, yeah get'im Get'im FUCK HIM UP! No, no you ain't escaping No, no you're stuck here YOU'RE IN MY WORLD OF PAIN NOW BITCH (Evil laughter) Ha Ha Ha Ha aha AH HA HA I WISH I HAD A BIGGER KNIFE 'STEAD I'M TRYING TO FUCKING MAKE sushi with uh.. a piece of plastic! YOU WERE ONCE ONE OF THE MOST FEARSOME PREDATORS IN THE OCEAN Now you're gonna be turned into California rolls Get'im get'im up top Get'im up top. Yeah hi-hit the top part. That's the part that hurts him the most GET'IM FUCK HIM UP! STA-STAB HIS STAB HIS FLESHY FRONTS Get all of him, get all of him. There we go Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab OH YES! LOOK WHO'S THE KING OF THE OCEAN NOW BITCHES BOW DOWN! FOR I HAVE BESTED YOU Look at that THE POWER JACK. THE MIGHT OF SALLY AND JACK TOGETHER WILL DEFEAT ALL ODDS Actually had no idea you could kill a Reaper in this game I'm wildly impressed by myself And on that day it was known, that Jack was the most fearsome predator in the Subnautica oceans No longer did people cower in fear of the Reapers. The Reapers cowered in fear of him Uh, but he also need oxygen to survive, so he needed to get to the surface (Heavy over-the-top intakes of breathe) Oh God I may be a fearsome warrior who's able to tackle the ocean's deadliest creatures and kill them all But oxygen's a bitch, man! Look at that (Laughing) Ca-can I nudge him around? C'mere Te he ha ha ha HA HA HAAA Oh, I want to sever your head and mount it on my fucking wall What happens when I do this now? Oh you- oh Jesus Christ! Oookay Oookay. Yes suck his body into oblivian Oh ho ho, yes! Oh no! Ha ha ha HA Ooooh I'm playing with dead bodies. And it's fun! Kay, you guys can fuck off, too Sally: - disengaged There ya go. WHAT Don't disengage my systems Here ya go. Swirly Swirly Twirly Ha Ha. Bye! he he You wanna go again? GET OUT OF HERE PIECE OF SHIT Heeeey, Reefies. You see what I did to the Reapies? There's a- Woah ho ho hoooo, Bye! I'm not even afraid of you guys anymore Don't fall into th-to the bottom tho. Don't fall through the map I need you to go up Aw, I can't move him You go away this is my body, this is my kill I thought this was gonna take way longer, too. Ha ha ha I thought I'd be here for ages trying to figure out how to kill one of these Turns out all you need is a knife and a lot of battery power in the stasis rifle and you can accomplish anything Accomplish your dreams. Go out there with your PMA and YOUR POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE And you, too, can kill the Reaper I'm a man of my word. I said I was gonna kill ya and I did Kay, I'm gonna bring some of ya home for dinner I love calamari You wanna electrocute me? Go ahead. Go ahead. I can do that too you know There we go. HA HA HA. Yeah run FEAR ME Now that I have taste of blood I'm going after bigger prey There's no way I'm gonna sit by, after killing a reaper Just letting that live like that I'm gonna challenge the big dogs We left a rookie, we come back a champion Kevin, Carly, are you guys proud of your dad? I fought for your freedom and your honor today There you are, my cutie little babies Ye-yeah! Feels good Feels good to protect my family, my home, and my country Such cute babies I'd never let any harm come to you guys Don't worry Jack has the power of a god now Another thing I found out was -I'm gonna consume you - is that I was suppose to stab these ....I think Can I stab you- yeees and now I can get some seeds out of it and now I can plant those Ah, see when you use your brain you can do dangerous things The brain is the most powerful entity in the known universe Use it wisely. Use smartly So now I should have a lot of food I also did that with my gel-sacks outside. If I stab them I also get bits and pieces that I can put in That's very very good. That's stuff I like to know. If only I could build a farm on my back If I could build a farm on my back and go with that, that would be peeeerfect. Are you fully repaired- No Sally, you took some damage there but I'm proud of you I'm proud of you. You held your own. Last time you went up against one... You had to fake your own death. We understand that. We get that Y-you even put your upgrades in the fake one Really committed to that part Putting all you depth modules, your torpedoes, your- your everything. You put every thing into that fake You even had me convinced. Everybody at home was convinced. But the real Sally Was hiding All along We were in an impostor. All this time Can't charge you for some reason. Because you're broken and I don't know why (sigh) As I sit and stare out upon ... this troubled planet Wondering how I... Can fix it. How I can overcome all odds and become... The grand protector of this known world. W-What do you think, Sam? I should do shouldn't I We need to go out there and kill all the Reapers We need to go out there. We need to show them what we can do And we're gonna start with the sanddunes Because we have some cuddlefish out there that are still stuck, still trapped, don't know a way forward or a way out I need ta- I need to save them. There are a lot of Reapers out there in the Sand dunes. I can't let them live I can't let them live knowing that people out there are suffering. Fish, Mankind alike I- I'm suffering I'm the only man here. But - a- it's still valid. I'm still suffering. Still me Sally: All Systems Online Oh, you bet your sweet tasty ass they are Let's go Sally. To the Sand dunes I hated the sand anyway It's coarse and it gets everywhere (nice starwars ref) It's time we show Just- (stutter) It's time we show that whole area a lesson Kay, a new found sense of confidence in ourselves Op, sorry My bad Look at this fucking weaving and dodging This peak conditioning. We're practicing, we're training. We're weaving and dodging Sorry! He ha ha ha. Also, uh, I need to eat So I needed to that. I had to do it Heeeey, Reefies See, more Reefbacks being segregated Being pushed together in this area in the grassy plains, the plateau They want to explore the dunes. They want to get out there as well They don't want to be sequestered back here Exc-exc-excuse me! Excuse me! You can just, like, go away forever now please. Yeah, yeah that's your new home over there Get used to it Come near me again and I will have to start breaking fins Gotta keep your ears open for this one everybody We ain't playing around no more That's a thing I didn't get down there Is this a trap? I hear them I hear the Reapers. But I do not fear them You think just cuz you name yourself after death that everybody should be scared of ya Nah huh. Not this big boy You know what. I'll let you survive For now. Cuz you're not the one I need. You're not the one I want The one I want is over in this direction somewhere The one that's over the sinkhole, ya know? So just go, swim along Bye-bye now. Have a good time Ooh hey! How's it going? Being all 'sneaky' are we? Being a sneaky Reapie, are we? Come on. Come on. You're not even making sounds! All right, all right, all right. What do we got here? What do we- I can't even see ya Where'd ya go- HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! COME HERE COME HERE YA BIG BITCH Stay in place Stay in place. Oooooh the hurt is on! OH HO HO HO OH YES I live for this now This is my life! Ain't no way you're gonna touch Sally and think you can get away with it NOT TODAY Where's it hurt? Where's it tickle? Where's th- ya got an itch? Ya got a itch you need me to scratch? Oh, right under there Right under there, that's a good one, right there. I like that one You ain't going no where, BOI I just love the idea that this a big, giant, man-eating creature. And I'm sitting here behind his arm-pits Striking him with a knife Ne he he ha HA It's all it takes It's all it takes. Bear Grylls taught me Bah! Bah! Bah! (Singing) Another one bites the dust Baduh bah bah Another one can suck my ass Here we go. here we go Hah ha yeah, drift on down there baby Sally are you okay? What he do to ya? *utter shock* He got you to 10 percent. How could I almost let that happen again? I'm so sorry Sally Oh yeah drift on down. Let Sally see it in her lights! In her warm glowing warming glow Nice Everybody else. Come on. Come on in Watch this shit. Do you see what happens when you mess with me This is what happens. You die, you pay the price Is that your fucking buddy I can hear? Didn't even come to defend ya or nothing either. He just let ya die Great friend I can hear ya buddy boy I can hear ya. I'm like a Winchester brother now I seek out the monsters Subnautica has now just become monster hunter Okay, we have to hit with the ol' one two combo. He was around here I see ya Hit him with the blinker. Aw wait, nah they're fucking blind They need to hear me. HEY! OVER HERE HOT STUFF! ♪sexy time music♪
oh yeah, oh yeah Take a big ol' bite ta-take ya Excuse me, bigger morsels to be had Here ya go. Take a BIG OL' bite HA HA HA HA HAH (i don't know how to caption this) OH A SPRY ONE WE HAVE HERE OOOOOH LIKING THIS PUTTING UP A BIT OF FIGHT. MORE SO THEN YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS DID Keep shouting all you want, nobody's listening down here tickle tickle tickle (creepy laughter) I'M INSIDE YOU NOW Squigle, squirm, like the creepy worm you are. It will not help And down... he goes...for the count Once again. Jack proven to be. The most fearsome predator in the ocean ♪sexy time music fades Um, excuse me did you not just see what I did? Piss off! W-wait, do you guys here that? Silence No. More. Screeching fuck bags It's like having really loud neighbors who are just every night going "HAAAOOOOGH". Just like shut the fuck up It's all it took Oh ah, my torpedo went somewhere else Where my torpedo go?Oh its over there Oh goodie Um, excuse me, excuse me but NO! No. None of that is happening. Yeah. Skirt skirt across the ground Piss off! I love watching their dead bodies fly around (laugh) Weeeeee! Oh, that's awesome! Okay, you can let go of him now He's done. He's had his fun. Why can't I? I can but it also knocks me back You don't go very far That's not fun. I want it to be all ragdoll. I want to send it flying across the ocean But I will settle for... (Crashing sound) Even in death he's smiling. Don't like it Wait. Excuse me? Did I just... Someone's interrupting my peaceful stroll through the ocean Oh. Another contender Thought you had it all figured out did ya? Thought that you could get away.Thought that hanging out over here will let you escape No, keep munching up. Keep gobbling down, dicky brown Hello! Hi! Fuck you! ♪Intense battle music♪ C'mere. No come back Come back! Come on we can talk about this Come on, come on back now Come on back. Jack has more to talk to you about. I'll whisper it in your ear I got secrets. COME HERE Oh ho ho ho That one gotcha That one gotcha real fucking nice Oh hohoho YEEES! Now its my turn to have some fun Hold still. This will just hurt a lot Oh look at that. Floaty boy Whats that. Oh it's FOUR dead now Yeah that feels good Here let me help. You're going to the bottom of the ocean I'll just try and help you get there faster. There ya go that a boy Good job. Good job, me. Good job, Sal! I couldn't do this without you, Sal You're the one that lures them in. You're the one making all that racket. And then come up and are all "Oh, bitey bitey" And then no. No bitey bitey, just owy powy Whoo Yeah! Oh watch out for that tail. Woah still got some kick left left in her Whoo! Nice Nice very good. Whoooosh Aw, that's fun ♪Creepy horror music♪ Jack:WHAT!? MOTHER FUCKER How did? HOW DID HE DO THAT?? Who authorized that. Who authorized that hit on me? That was no ordinary Reaper. That was a specially, covertly trained Reaper Oh God no. I left Sally alone over there. OH Jesus Christ! How could I have died? I knew it It was the impostor all along. That was not a real Reaper. That was a fake Reaper! I will have my revenge (Inception sound) ♪I'm everywhere - Teknoaxe♪ Don't worry, Sal. I'm coming for ya
