Kevin Pollak Exposes How Freaky Bruce Willis Is | Roast Of Bruce Willis

thank you joseph gordon levitt cause that's a [ __ ] name you know you're doing a great job tonight joey you are really he's such a pro it's no wonder you've been working steadily in hollywood since you were six years old of course it helps when your parents aren't choosing about who touches your peepee [Applause] speaking of dennis rodman i got to say it's odd to see you here it really is it's just odd i mean it's just if you knew bruce you know [Laughter] he's not fond of the blacks do you see him disagreeing or is he laughing you might think with a name like nikki glaser that she's jewish but she's not you can tell actually because uh jews are funny nikki said on her own show that she enjoys anal sex her words hey good for you i mean it makes sense obviously you don't eat so he might as well use that hole for something huh [Applause] [Laughter] that's so nice edward norton you sir are fantastic one of my all-time favorites honestly you want to know how brilliant ed norton is ask him and now on to the man of the hour bruce willis how i've known i've known bruce for a very very long time we've done three films together one of them not horrible i really don't understand why you agreed to do this i mean if you wanted to be humiliated clearly we both know you could have just released another singing album some of you may not know because he bought every copy but bruce released an r b lp back in the 80s i did some research to find out whose idea this album was turns out it was his manager and by his manager i mean cocaine just a tremendous amount of code like jeff ross sized container of coke bruce pal you've done some great work recently especially your subtle turn at west anderson's moonrise kingdom love that film yeah the story of two fifth graders falling in love bruce would have fallen in love with a fifth grader if he had met his current wife way back when he was 47. i first met bruce when i was working with his first wife demi moore in the film a few good men yeah i think it's time everyone knew something about demi when she shaved her head she said it was for her role in the film gi jane but the truth is she shaved her head because she loved her husband bruce and he wanted to [ __ ] his own face and now bruce one of your friends and co-stars in pulp fiction couldn't be here tonight so they've asked me to pass along a message from christopher walken they've put it up here for me here it is hi bruce sorry i couldn't attend your funeral i did want to say i've always been a fan particularly your work in the film 12 monkeys sure i was disappointed that you did not portray a monkey but you gave a beautifully nuanced performance reminiscent of a monkey who poops in his hands and then throws it in your face mostly though i wanted to take this opportunity to publicly thank you for creating my favorite restaurant planet hollywood if i'm honest it's also my favorite planet thank you bruce willis for having the vision and the courage to ask hi who wouldn't want to eat 40 potato skins in a booth next to the hat from billy bathgate [Music]

Channel: Comedy Central Asia

Views: 86,028

Keywords: Comedy Central Asia, Asia Comedian, Comedy, Singapore Comedy, Malaysia Comedy, Taiwan Comedy, asia comedian, malaysia comedy, singapore comedy, roast of bruce willis

Id: 8pNRloCo4Ls

Length: 5min 17sec (317 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 22 2022