John Paul Talks About Rejection on Joni Table Talk

we're made to be completely accepted by a loving father one of the enemy's primary strategies is rejection rejection is really based on a skewed perspective of reality we've all suffered rejection we've all been hurt I started thinking of suicide and had ways to in my life that was a moment that defined the next 25 years of my life God is the only one that will never leave this forsake us he's the only one that won't disappoint us he's the only one that will be with us through every avenue of our life everyone has a story did you know that dreams are God's Way of getting you to your future who knows what's coming is going to help you get there every life is something to share the grass is not greener on the other side there's stickers from tragedy to triumph your memories will always be of the adventure not the arrival so savor the ride this is real talk about real topics that will change your life freedom is becoming who God created redeems you to be so grab a seat join the conversation this is well we have all felt the sting of rejection in our lives whether it was from a family member a friend a co-worker or bullies at school regardless of being turned down by the girl of your dreams or being abandoned by your father rejection can cause lasting scars that if they aren't dealt with appropriately they can become strongholds in your life so today we're taking a look at rejection and it's strongholds joining me around the table is Bob Hamm so good to have you hello Joanie and there you are a gateway and this is an area you deal with in freedom ministries on a charge of the counseling and the freedom ministry and all the healing ministries so we see a ton of people dealing with rejection so it is definitely something that has to be dealt with that people in the body of Christ haven't dealt with yeah you know we're made to be completely accepted by a loving father and so one of the enemy's primary strategies is rejection yes so so important Kelly Lynch good to have you thank you I'm excited to be here I really really AM this is you know I love doing the show because I learned so much and I know you like learning as well yes it's just so wonderful to be able to sit here Cindy Murdock I learn isn't it oh it is so good to learn and as we were talking about this program I think about all the bullying in the texting you know that's going on with our young people and how they aren't dealing with the rejection and it's really having horrible consequences it really is something we need to talk about of course we've got John Paul Jackson here today welcome thank you it's great to be back this is something that you really are passionate about I'm very passionate about it yes and so people look at you and say Oh John Paul's never suffered rejection but you actually did I actually did and that's what caused me to write this book because I I went through a several episodes of rejection not even knowing that's what it was only in retrospect that I understand what it did to me how it affected my emotional makeup how it affected my perspective because rejection is is really based on a skewed perspective of reality it's not based on truth it's based on what you perceive is going on in the minds of others and sometimes sometimes that's built on where you yourself are at of what you think of you based on what other people have convinced you you are you allow other people to convince you rightly or wrongly you're strong or weak or have problems and of course this is the book we're talking about breaking free of rejection in John Paul is the author of that and maybe you could share with our audience today John Paul you know what happened to you as a young man because I think all of us really around the table can think of stories things that happen to us as you know children I mean it's almost like from the get-go the enemy wants to take you out and divert you from your purpose and in rejection is one of the things he uses it is I was talking to one of my friends who we were just talking about difficulties that we were facing I had faced and and he had faced and he was kind of helping me he was he was a brother of mine what am I still today one of my very best friends and he asked me he said he said when was the earliest most painful moment you can realize where you felt like somebody did you wrong they're like rejected you are put you down in some way I didn't know to call it rejection at that particular time and I remember the story the story are the event that happened to me when I was 12 years old and my first love I'll just call her Charlotte and and that's what I call her in the book not a real name that this Charlotte is not a real name yeah so that I'm not getting all the Charlotte's out there you know people hate for them to feel rejected every when I did it but so I just suddenly just came to my mind you know the Holy Spirit just flashed it into my mind where this first young girl that I I had this crush on and I was going to tell her for the first time what I thought I mean this is like my first opportunity to really say something to a girl how old were you I was 12 so that's that's an awkward age it was very very so I I heard her saying that she's going to be at her brother's baseball game and I knew that she was playing her brother was playing my brother in baseball my younger brother her younger brother so that's Saturday morning I rode my bike three and a half miles to the ball diamond where they were playing in order to be there when Charla got there and I was somehow I knew I would find a way to introduce my love to her that day tell her how much I liked her beautiful yeah should you have your hair and oh everything I was clean kingi is clean Satya murti sure oh yeah everything a very favorite t-shirt crystal clean bleached white beautiful and so first inning comes no Charlotte second ending comes no Charlotte third end it comes to Charlotte some I thought you know any of these disappointment and hope at the end a breaking of hope all this you have to have this emotional urban flow to really have a rejection take place in your life to have the impact of that emotional event and so about the third it's third inning or so I see her coming down the right-field foul line and I mean my world changed all of a sudden from hopelessness to incredible joy and just like in the movie the wind was blowing her hair there was a slight bounce to give a bit of a blonde hair notion or to you you know taper sparkling you know I know yeah blue eyes glistening I'm so that's like haircut hisses mic this is this is going to be it and my joy is going to happen so she stops behind the dugout the first base dugout and I'm standing behind the backstop I'm going to make my way over here so cup my my hands tucked in the pockets of my jeans not knowing where to put them and I failed to notice the water fountain pipe that had been he rode it away by the dirt and it stuck up like two inches above the dirt and my toe caught underneath that water fountain pipe as I'm heading her way I fall flat on my face dirt in my mouth dirt in my hair dirt on my clothes my shirt everywhere I I can't believe it I look up to see if she's watching she's not watching I roll underneath the bleachers hoping to get underneath there before never see me and I make my way over to the other ball field I take the shirt off shake it out turn it inside out so the stain of the the red dirt doesn't show up on it and dust myself off wash my face off and traumatic nightmare so I make my way behind the bleachers over to the dugout side of where it's Sharla the standing heard her two friends are now with her so as I get up to her leaned up against the fence and at 12 years of age my voice was starting to change about them so when I spoke it crackled and I said hi and she goes she turns and looks at me and she goes John I think you are so cute and all of a sudden I think I don't have to tell her I'm I don't have to tell her I love her she's telling me before I can even get the words out of my mouth she thinks I am Sookie she thinks she is so fond of me and this is like heaven has finally come God has prepared all of this and and then I hear the rest of the sentence John I think you were so cute but I already have a dog and I my calenus dropped I just looked down and I said that's worse than mean on purpose so I squeezed our kids that was a mean on purpose commie that was a mean on purpose , I want you to sharpen anyway after - she didn't say that just bad that totally just your self-confidence eroded at that moment in whatever had gone on before that that was a moment that defined the next 25 years of my life no way it had that profound effect right I did I was weeping sard cry so hard I could not ride my bike home I had to walk the three-and-a-half miles back I walked my bike through the back neighborhood so that nobody could see me crying on the Main Street and did you tell anyone about when held anybody didn't tell my mom and dad told nobody nobody says too too embarrassing so but I never thought about shardene a school comes to an end it's baseball season so school's coming to an end of summer ago Charlotte move she's not a school next year in time you just forget and you don't know why for the next 25 years my perspective on everything is skewed until my friend asked me to remember the moment of my greatest pain Wow that is it I know you've heard so many stories like that I mean does it really affect people I mean long-term like it did John Paul well certainly I mean the first thing is what I said at the outset is that were made to connect I mean were made in the image of a loving God whose whole design is to connect to his creation so we have that same ability and so when you hear John Paul describing he's got four you know miles driving down the road in his mind this is complete focus of really making a connection it's more than just the hard words that woman like you said John Paul it's the expectation of your heart and when that's crushed like that you know what we immediately do is we find some way to protect ourselves and when we do that it really can set the course for years of our life so do you have a rejection story to share why I feel sure almost all of us do but you know I we all do don't we I mean seriously we have stories yeah you know the one that I think of most is my father I was born to a dad who was an alcoholic and had all kinds of drug problems and you know at the time I didn't know there was about his problems but the older I got you know you go from being an infant where you're just kind of cute at least I assumed I was right but but the more that we developed personality and interactional abilities than what I discovered is my dad wanted less and less to do with us because then we became work and at the time you don't think in terms of what what your parents are going through you just think in terms of why won't my dad talk to me why won't he spend time with me and ultimately somewhere in my early teenage years he just left home and left us all and so that's one of those same devastating things we all the expectation that our parents will be there and take care of us but when that expectation like you said is devastated it just we look for ways to protect ourself so I love something you said last time you were here because you talked about your father and that alcohol addiction and how so many times that you know we talk with people about you know they need to be you know delivered from something and we believe that somehow they have to give up something and you said it's really the mindset and in that we've got it wrong that it that there's a hole in there it's really not what we need to give up but what we need to fill up with which is Jesus which is Holy Spirit one of the things we say is that freedom is not the absence of something it's not getting rid of something painful but it's the presence of someone 2nd Corinthians 3 says that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom so it's not just getting rid of pain yeah but is getting the Lord in the place where he most wants to be what about that it's good isn't it well you have to rely on him because he in him is a fullness of life John 1:4 is not as the fullness of life lives on Jesus not on my wife it's not on my girlfriend you know when you're younger it's not in my father it's not my mother it's not even in my pastor it's in accepting the fullness of who Jesus is what he has done in my life to overcome all the destructive things the enemy has tried to do through my life I think that's such an important point so many of us I can't tell you how many friends relationships I've had down to the years where they try to find that in a spouse in a job in you know having more money or having more things or a church or you know and it always comes up empty because when you have expectation and things or men or anything that's you know of this earth we're going to be disappointed every time God is the only one that will never leave us forsake us he's the only one that won't disappoint us he's the only one that will be with us through every avenue of our life and if you have expectation in people you're gonna be disappointed yes every time aren't you yeah well after the break we are going to find out how to break free from rejection so stay with this table talk with John Paul Jackson we'll be right back well welcome back to Table Talk today we're talking about rejection and how devastating it can be not only to your spiritual life but to your emotional and physical life as well so let's talk a little bit about that john-paul how does it affect us in both those ways well you can I think one of the things that we have to ask ourselves right off the bat is are we're going to be a victor we're going to be a victim and to often begin again because of our perspective on things we tend to blame other people for the issues what we didn't get someplace we know we have something to offer like I had something to offer Charlotte and I felt like she would receive my overture and then when she does it then you end up blaming somebody else for your problems and whether it's with a girlfriend that doesn't like you or whether it's a boston doesn't promote you or whether it's it's a spouse that doesn't recognize you you blame other people for things that go wrong in your life all of us know individuals that have played the victim maybe something terrible happened in their life but they continue to live in that victim mentality and it's it's it's a unending cycle where they never come out of it you can take a look in description find saw was it was a victim he was rejected he defines himself as the least of his clan as clans at least in the tribe of Benjamin that Benjamin was considered a smaller weaker tribe yes real tall and good-looking and just wanted anybody else yeah so when Samuel says that he's going to be anointed as king where do you find him you find him hiding in the baggage and then everything seems we're working okay there's the victim mentality it doesn't really be show up until David comes along and now somebody shows up who can take his kingdom away from him and so now he sees himself as the victim of David so what does he try to do he tries to take that pursues David jealousy creeps up and is he is going to end David and that way he and the the if you see yourself as a victim you have to end the person who can hurt you and stop what you want to happen now a victor in the bible my favorite bible character you're going to talk about is joseph was a great victor in the bible rejection from the very beginning he had the coat rejected he had the dreams rejected and and he was sold into slavery major rejection and then he ends up being at being second-in-command to pharaoh he had his coat taken away from him and stained with blood to take back to his father and say he died and then he has his coat torn by Potiphar's wife and is is now in prison imprisoned again and everything seemed to be going wrong but he never went through that issue of rejection there's no sign that he went through that issue of rejection it is amazing how he kept the joy of the lord throughout that long process and it was a process was because god needed to build character in this young man yeah and so your story of rejection cuz i know there's a lot of women watching they look at Cindy and they're like oh she's so pretty and she's so sweet and she's Joanie's free and she doesn't have any problems but I mean early on you suffered some rejection as an adult mm-hmm and it was from from another woman yeah you tried to be for you know people that you want to be your friends or people in the workplace you you look it's that person people's / you want people to have accept you and have a good perception of you and and oftentimes that affects us and I remember a situation with some people in the workplace and that rejected beyond what I could even imagine rejection and you know some and a lot of things were going on in my life at that time major rejections were happening and you know sometimes jealousy and other things will kick in or in my situation I wanted to end my life because I felt like wow if I'm this bad and if people don't want me and won't accept me then I started thinking of suicide and had ways to in my life but the beautiful part was then God began to remind me of what he thought of me and I'll if you remember this song it was Jesus lover of my soul that was so popular at that time and when I realized my soul was my mind my will and my emotions and he loved Cindy yeah he loved me yeah something began to happen in me that I began to love myself again and know who I was and it set me free from all that rejection of people that didn't like me for whatever reasons they did right and a lot of times it's not even your not even the issue right exactly most of time you're usually under live intercessor on jealousies and security exactly exactly you were gonna solve it when he was a victim I saw himself as a victim he turns around starts victimizing others yes and the person who's been hurt then turns and hurts others yeah well let's talk about quickly for those watching today how do we how do we get out of this what are what are the three steps out well we've got we've got to be able to ask yourself some questions and answer those questions brutally but one of the things that we have to do is we have to recognize that whenever you're victim mentality you have more confidence and Satan's ability to attack you then you do in God's ability to promote you Wow it's very important to understand that you and without even knowing it you're giving more credit to the enemy than you are to God and the victim mentality if you wouldn't have the victim mentality if you if you understood who God was what God doesn't know why he created you why you put you here you know nothing can stop you or keep you from that destiny that's good and what else well you have to you take a look at you victims typically feel like they never fit in they're always on the outside looking in they always feel like the odd men at the party in fact sometimes as it develops you don't even go to parties you don't even mix in because you know that nobody wants you there and so you so it takes you have to have an extravagant overt invitation for you to come like like invite me three times and I'll know you really want me but if you don't invite me three times I'm I'm not going to come because I think you're just doing it out of obligation or because you want you know you wanna be parameters or something on this situation almost making it difficult for people to even joke it that I can't think man I got I got a you know this is working yeah dragging behind the car to get in there and I use mustard if you're gonna do that I had I had a friend that I grew up with and I felt like I begged her all the time come on we want you to come with us we want to have fun I love you I so I was like spend half my life trying to convince her that we love her and want to be with her in there there has had to have been some rejection we've had to been somebody unless our but they do have to be some rejection there and then then the third thing again is the victim mentality we see ourselves we blame other people for for lack of promotion we blame other people for a lack of a good husband we blame our good wife we like other people for a lack of a good job I didn't get promoted because so-and-so took the promotion away from me all those type of things you're never the one to blame because you can't be to blame because if you're to blame then you people should reject you and that's what you think if I'm to blame for anything then they have a right to reject me and I don't believe they have a right to reject me so I have to make them look bad in order for me to feel accepted oh yes boy have we dealt with that around here I mean in any time I guess in a workplace if you have a lot of employees and stuff you'll see one who will tear down others to try to build themselves up and that's another whole show well don't move the table wraps with tips on how to remove the root of rejections we'll be right back well we've seen how rejection wounds us but how do we remove the root of rejection one more time for those watching jump on also encouraged so today that are you know maybe we've just stirred something up in your heart you're like that's me I can relate to what they're talking about today well first of all you if you have more confidence that Satan can attack you then God can protect you then you really need to take a look at this issue of rejection in your life the second thing is if you feel let's you never fit in like you're overlooked you need you need a lot of invitations to go someplace because you're afraid that they really don't want you to show up or they really don't want you to be to work with them or they really don't need your help they're just saying that to be kind or out of obligation that's another sign of rejection then probably the third one again is the victim mentality if you feel like if somebody if you have the feeling that if somebody would have just said this you would have been able to get this and that's another sign of rejection so I would like to I would like to pray for you and again there's a number at the bottom of your screen that you can call and we'll be there'll be prayer counselors here to help you work through these issues I don't know hardly anyone who doesn't encounter moments of rejection how they handle them is vitally important and you can change your perspective right now today prayer will help you change that perspective the Holy Spirit of the Living God will strengthen you enliven you help you discern even your own thoughts even your own intents help you break down those thoughts and intents help you pull down any strongholds that might that might be in there help you remove and and reveal any lie that you may have believed so I would like to pray for you right now that that this process would begin and your life would be totally different and transformation would take place not only for you but for your family and everyone you touch so father and the name of Jesus I ask you to touch the people that are watching today by your power by the power of the Holy Spirit of the Living God that pierces the heart of even the hardest of a protective shell that we may you can soften us you can open our eyes to see remove the scales from our eyes remove the wax from our ears remove the cloud from our mind tenderize our hearts so that we can hear understand receive believe and go after you Father the destiny is waiting for those who are dare to be courageous enough to say help me Oh God help me so father I cried out that I ask you to to touch the people and have their hearts tender before you have them cry out to you because you truly are the answer to every dilemma you want to protect us you want to provide for us you want to promote us and it's in your name we ask these things for your great great glory in the name of Jesus amen amen I really since there was I mean I saw so clearly when John Paul is praying there's a woman you're watching you're you're crying right now and you so relate to what we're talking about today and the Lord is saying I just want you to know that I know those moments of rejection in this particular event that took place in your life you have thought for so many years that I wasn't there and he's saying I was actually there with you and so in knowing that you can now give that to him and allow him to complete the work of healing in your heart today so just open up your heart right now and again go to the phone and call if you need prayer today we've all suffered rejection we've all been hurt but you know what Jesus wants to heal that hurt today so you receive that from him thank you so much for watching thank you John Paul Bob camp ladies thank you we'll see you next time bye-bye for today this has been a day star television production

Channel: Streams Ministries

Views: 171,820

Rating: 4.8950086 out of 5

Keywords: John Paul Jackson, Streams Ministries, Daystar, Joni Lamb, rejection, feeling rejected, Bob Hamp

Id: sHM_BoNpwaU

Length: 25min 32sec (1532 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 06 2011