Joey Diaz on Taking Life Seriously

and it's funny hanging out with Lee over the last few years doing the podcast I'm coming over whatever you know it makes me think a lot and then the process of writing a book and when I write the book sometimes I go back and read these things I compare them like my life to lease you know that Jesus Christ so I was telling Lee a week ago I go you know if I had a chance to do it all over again once I hit 28 I would make a decision to become a millionaire by the time I was 40 are you people gonna say why 40 because when I say a millionaire I say somebody who's well-off not comfortable and not a millionaire but somebody who's taken care of and every base what's the best way to be taken care of when you're 38 to 40 join the service when you're 18 do 20 years come up when you're 38 you got full insurance full benefits you go back to school and you everything calls a pension and their pensions don't [ __ ] around those pensions pay you some [ __ ] money every month so even if you got a part-time gig doing security work and high pay you're not doing that bad I think it like because my cousins are both in the Air Force I think you get lists something like 75% and then they they both bought houses at like the same age and I am like nice houses but they have the option to just live on base and just as far as I can as far as yes yes take that money for 20 years of no bills like I wish like when I was 18 I was even newer and geekier now so that wasn't even an option but it's funny about 28 like you said it's like the first time I've really started thinking about 28 is the for 28 and 20 26 to 28 28 is when you've already been brokenhearted you already went to college the job you wanted you didn't get you already the you know it took you a while to get a job maybe you got a job now you're paying back loans and you find yourself working ironing a shirt every night you know living with three guys you know drinking and also you're like at the end of the week I don't know money so you start thinking about your life you go what the [ __ ] happened one minute I was graduating college and the next minute I'm living with three [ __ ] guys I'm broke their [ __ ] nuts you know it's along from a comedy album but either around this time is when you figure out like your dreams aren't gonna come true like you realize like oh like that they might not come true which is just it's weird that's why the girl that won't suck your dick when you're 20 or maybe come around when she's 34 because she's already had crabs the brother the guys cheated on you know you got a job and a heartbeat and a license he your [ __ ] solid compared to the guys she's been with and remember when she was 21 she was the queen of the [ __ ] prom and she had plans and futures so yeah it happens to all of us like that and ever we start lowering our standards but at the same time listen man and take the life series - I was 32 when they at 32 I found myself [ __ ] broke I mean living from [ __ ] garbage can to mouth pretty much you know how to refrigerate it only had Snapple in it and beer never was there food in that [ __ ] thing I lived in a one-bedroom pretty much studio apartment I had a TV I had cable but I was living like Rocky Balboa which there's nothing wrong like that but they didn't put you on this planet just to give up right I love to just get by if I was by my own if I was on my own I'd live in this office I've told you that a thousand times already I live in this office I keep this refrigerator you teach me how to get Netflix on the computer and the apps to watch the news and [ __ ] like that I wouldn't go near 400 bucks whatever a car payment of three your insurance that's it I'm getting by that means I can hit the little pizza one night a week that means I could do could I could do anything three days a week and make my nut and not worry about life and not be responsible a great way to live I did it for a [ __ ] long time we've spoken about that guy the homeless man who won't take your money right how many homeless people do you think are just like they're just like I'm just I'm just gonna enjoy my life from now on who cares they're comfortable where they're and listen that homeless guy made this decision when I see him over there and I try to offer money and I bringing food and I haven't seen him no while I Drive been that neighborhood all the [ __ ] time I think he went I think the cops chased him out all over that I don't see him over there at all maybe the last six months but all that time I realized something in my conversations from that that was his choice he wanted to be there okay and we're all at one point see I got married and at one time I said this is just too much this is just too much to handle as a human being cuz it was a weak [ __ ] I don't say I can't handle this I just want to disappear I want to live like John Rambo working a carwash three days a week have a little apartment he can [ __ ] but one day man you go you know what I got friends they got why I was they got houses they got cars and they got lives how do I get a [ __ ] life it took me to be 32 now at 32 I had a wife when she walked out of that house Lee I had a wife wasn't the best quality life I was taking care of myself I was eating good I was exercising I was making money I would always take some type of class but I was just sailing all I was just waiting to [ __ ] hit something I knew this was not gonna be forever I knew it I [ __ ] knew it I'm like this is not gonna be forever there's no way I'm gonna be 40 in estimators with a truck and come home and play with my kid for two hours and then on Saturdays and Sundays I got the [ __ ] weekend off Saturdays I watched the kid in Sunday's I go to the in-laws for dinner this is it this is it I did time I was a loser all those years I was in a rocket ship I stole I turned my life around for this [ __ ] boredom it was boring to me I was like I can't I can't I need something else so for like the I don't know let's say 70% of Americans who live that life roughly maybe it's 50/50 who knows are they are they lying to themselves are they really not at all not at all not at all well we had discussion earlier about people we have a friend that paid their dues for something for a few years and we were talking earlier we don't think that he understands what he got himself into absolutely you know and that's the first time I mentioned Italy we hadn't mentioned it to me once before but I never saw it but from Lee a nice conversation the other night guess how many people that have new stuff when you're 18 do you think you could really make a quality decision about what you want to be I thought I could I thought I did in your head what is the percentage you think of people that have 18 went to college with an idea what they want it to be and that's what they're doing today today maybe only 20% I think it's like that how low is I think it's low I because that's the question is like is what if they went to school for if there's a lot of people who aren't or are doing even if it's a good job maybe they went to school for history and now they're I don't know like a marketing person like there I think there's a lot of people who change isn't isn't it like most people have three to five careers isn't that what the stat like this is that what it is I'll look it up or something real quick but it's something like people how many of you had you've had multiple yeah but I'm a loser I didn't have multiple careers because I was a winner I had multiple careers because I was a loser first of all I didn't know what I wanted to do right second of all I was always buying time that something was coming or at least I thought something was just going to bump into like I was gonna pick up Sylvester Stallone driving a limo he's only put me in a movie or I didn't [ __ ] know that's the pipe dream I had okay so I had a bunch of jobs cuz I remember while I was lazy number two I thought they were gonna hand it to me and they're not gonna hand it to you so I did the easy way out I became a [ __ ] petty thief and then in the mean time petty thief and when I get sick and tired a petty thief and then turn my life around I get a job at a place as a cook wall be a bartender in a year laughter two weeks are you are you [ __ ] crazy are you [ __ ] crazy because of the worked opponent that you have to put into it sure because the who wants to put working how can I come to you and go in ten years you're gonna be a great comedian Lee you're gonna go K so if I get on stage tomorrow January 11th you what you mean to tell me isn't what is it 2027 I'm gonna be a good comedian I can't even think that [ __ ] far and I'm 50 and I've done gone through it so I can't imagine a 28 year old wrapping their [ __ ] head about that around that when I was 32 Lee I was out of options okay so I had no reason when I was 32 I was out of options nothing when I tell you nothing going for me so I had two ideas and one I could try this comedy [ __ ] and when I first started counting remember I started Tommy in 91 and I was like listen this is gonna happen I'm not gonna know what lead does Lee's an [ __ ] it's on stage every night he's [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm just as funny as Lee is he's been doing comedy for years I could write my feet but this is my thinking my thinking was I was a Libya in a comedy club and Jerry Lewis was gonna see me and put me in a movie that's what I really thought like that was how delusional the coped and life and [ __ ] you know this is way before Kim Kardashian but there was somebody who was Kim Kardashian at that time who had me confused that I was going to just get on stage one day and Alan King or David Letterman or somebody doesn't be in the audience walking through and they're gonna see me and put me on this show and I'd be a famous stand-up comic I had no idea the work that went into it when you daydream about it oh absolutely Oh like this is all gonna be differently don't worry about this give me 20 bucks come on listen when [ __ ] they see me at that comedy club in two weeks you're gonna be begging you gave me more money you know like that was my [ __ ] honest you know like it and I'd fuel that dream with cocaine and actually [ __ ] buy it like the [ __ ] that we are at that age and when your mind is that toward it so I started in July 91 it took me till September of 93 to realize that that pipe dream was never gonna happen never and I thought I mean now I bet there's people who smoke the pipe a little bit longer than you did that's only two years hell I buckled down and I said you know what if I'm going to do this I have to do this right I put together a plan and I went back to Colorado and all the plans worked out except for me being a parent okay no worries but even throughout that hold down ship and the state of mind I was in I kept getting on stage I kept getting on stage it didn't matter I kept getting on stage who gives a [ __ ] you get on stage you're in pain you're mad get on stage talk about alone say that's what I did and by 94 which was two years later than that I really had a dream not to be famous or nothing like that at this point I just wanted to be a working comic that nobody knew about I would go do triple runs and you know whatever the company in Iowa and I would work for creative and I would just travel around the country in a car and do comedy I was pretty much set with that never did I think about millions of dollars never do you never would like sit in bed at night like oh I can't wait look what esteem that I have to actually say to myself not 1991 when I was delusional once I knew what you had to put into comedy and what went into it and the work and everything there was no way I thought about millions I thought about being a break even working comic and I was fine with that you know why because where I came from the position I came from that would have just turned my life around if I could just be a working comic and stop stealing and doing drugs I'd be okay well I say stealing I mean generalities people just doing stupid [ __ ] I'm not saying stealing I'm talking about stealing [ __ ] time and and whatever from yourself stupid [ __ ] Lee comes to me and says hey I got five rims give me ten bucks I'm gonna go sell and make 50 stupid [ __ ] then we get there and I don't give us a deposit of the check bounces kid [ __ ] kid [ __ ] that we didn't think out that's what I mean by steal I'm not you know burgled once I started once 95 came I wasn't doing on that [ __ ] I was just [ __ ] doing comedy if you had an 8-ball to sell I'd sell it for you that type of [ __ ] you know [Music] you

Channel: Joey Diaz Clips

Views: 593,413

Keywords: Nate Diaz, joe rogan experience, the church of what's happening now, Comedy, Jim Norton, Eddie Bravo, Brendan Schaub, Tom Segura, Bill Burr, stand up, Joe Rogan, podcast, Joey Diaz, Jon Jones, Conor Mcgregor, Interview, UFC, Theo Von, Dana White, MMA, bert kreischer, Bobby Lee, doug stanhope, Boxing, Lee Syatt, Mixed Martial Arts, Ron White, Ultimate Fighting Championship, Felipe Esparza, NFL, Funny, Joey Diaz Stand Up, Ari Shaffir

Id: UnfjTu6dCF0

Length: 13min 57sec (837 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 17 2019