Jimmy Evans – Training Your Mouth For Marriage

welcome all of the services and everybody watching online I have a special message I am going to talk about Mary's this message really applies to all areas of our lives but this message is called training your mouth for marriage I want to talk about the way we speak to one another and how important it is what the Bible has to say about it if you have your Bibles or your phones or iPads however you read the Bible turn to proverbs chapter 18 now this is just a really really interesting passage of Scripture and it says a man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth from the produce of his lips he shall be filled death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit then the next verse is interesting he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord is talking about the power of our speech a man's stomach will be filled from the produce of his lips and it says the power of life and death is in our tongue I killed my wife with my tongue when we first got married I was not a good husband and I loved Karen but when I got frustrated at her I would say things to her to hurt her in a devastated her it was the worst thing I ever did and I killed her and the good thing is by the grace of God you know I changed and our marriage was resurrected and I'm saying God can do anything to through a person who's willing to repent and take responsibility but listen your marriage will never be better than your mouth every good marriage is full of good words a lot of good words every bad marriage is either filled with bad words or no words and so our life and death is in the power of our tongue we were created in the image of God God spoke in the universe came into existence we create our world with our words we speak in our world comes into existence our relationships come into existence we have this incredible power within our mouth it's called the power of life and death and to eat its fruit to understand it and to enjoy all the benefits of our mouths we have to take responsibility for our words and then God will give us relationships that are blessed and wonderful so I want to talk about the potential of positive speech it says here a man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth from the produce of his lips will be filled the word fruit there means to cause to bear fruit it means seed every word that comes out of our mouths are seeds now I was watching this program on television and it was showing migratory animals a bit amazing animals you know birds and whales and these animals that migrate hundreds or thousands of miles and then come right back to the exact place that they migrated from and they were saying that scientists believe that animals can see the electromagnetic field of the earth that we can't see literally a highway so when the whales and the birds and the animals are traveling thousands of miles and come right back it's because they see something we can't see see I believe if we could see into the spirit realm we would see every time we open our mouths and speak speed come seed come out a seed of life or a seed of death see some of you have been devastated by a seed that was planted inside of your soul by a person that was hurtful those are powerful see but we also have the ability to speak and good seed come out of our mouth I believe that every single word that we speak is consequential there is no such thing is inconsequential speech every single word we say is going to have a crop a good crop or a bad crop and when we understand that and take responsibility for it it means we can live a wonderful life what we live in a smart-aleck and vulgar culture anybody agree with that and people just saying unbelievable things with their mouths not understanding the consequences of that so I want to talk about what Jesus said about our words because Satan wants to take opportunity through our ignorance and cause us to say things that are casual that are that are vulgar they're whatever that have unbelievable you know consequences here and an eternity here's what Jesus said about our amounts and he's speaking now to the Pharisees who are calling him Beelzebub the Lord of the Flies Jesus is doing miracles and they're accusing him of doing miracles by the power of Satan therefore I say to you this is verse 31 in Chapter 12 I say to you every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men anyone who speaks a word against the Son of man it will be forgiven him whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit it will not be forgiven him either in this age or in the age to come either make the tree good and it's fruit good or else make the tree bad and it's fruit bad for a tree is known by its fruit root of vipers how can you be evil speak good things for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks a good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things and an evil man how the evil treasure brings forth evil things but I say to you that for every idle word men may speak they will give account of it in the day of judgment for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned well that just kind of tells you right there the importance of our words and Jesus calls our hearts trees and our words fruit so if you had an orange tree in your heart you would expect to see orange fruit come out of your mouth right in other words the fruit corresponds to the tree bad words mean a bad tree means hearts bad good words mean your hearts good you can always tell the condition of your heart by the words that you speak mean words mean you have unforgiveness there's bitterness there's something wrong with your heart vulgarity crudeness whatever it might be it's revealing something in your heart so his love and kindness and graciousness and those things he reveals to us also that the worst sin that we can commit we commit with our mouths our mouths are the only part of our body that can commit the unpardonable sin and no no one has done this you would never come to church if you had ever done this so don't ever let the devil tell you that you've done this but the unforgivable sin is calling the Holy Spirit evil and Jesus said the Holy Spirit was moving in doing miracles and they said you do miracles by the power of Beelzebub you're the law you're the demon master you're the Lord of the Flies in Jesus said me you listen to me you say something bad about me I'll forgive you you call the Holy Spirit evil you will not be forgiven it's the essence of an evil heart that we call the Holy Spirit evil none of you have done that don't you worry about it you would never even come close to a church if you had he tells us that our words reveal our hearts and sometimes I used to tell Karen I would say something terrible and I would say Karen that's not my heart you know yes it is yes it is your words are telling you the condition of your heart you can't disassociate that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks so as you're drawing out of the well but represents your heart he tells us that we will give an account someday for every idle word that we have ever spoken some day we will give an account for that you say what's an idle word you're in the garage you're hammering something you miss the nail you hit your thumb that word every idle word okay so you say well how does God record all of our words well I don't know you know I mean God knows everything but maybe there's some Little Snitch angel following this around right and everything I don't know let me tell you something wonderful news there's an eraser on the recorder it's called the blood of Jesus and if we said something bad all we have to do is take responsibility for it all we have to do is just say Lord I'm sorry I just didn't realize you know the bad things that I've said I just take responsibility but you'll never hear about it and all of eternity but I think that there will be some people who get to heaven one day and stand in judgment before God and they're absolutely shocked at the words that they have spoken in all Christians go to heaven there it's all good but we still have to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and we still have to take responsibility imagine the damage that some people have done with their mouths than ever taken responsibility for imagine the wounded hearts and the ruined lives that some people have caused with their mouths and never taken responsibility for so Jesus is very serious when he gets this issue of words all words are critical and consequential that's what I'm trying to say in this message every word that we speak has a consequence let me talk about since our words or seats let me talk about the laws of sowing and reaping so if every time you open your mouth a seed comes out and it does we need to understand what farmers understand the laws of sowing and reaping here are three laws of sowing and reaping you reap what you sow that's that's pretty simple the according to the seed that you sow you get a crop back places six do not be deceived God is not mocked the word mocked there is the word look tree so it means to throw your nose up at God don't be deceived God is not mocked for whatever a man shows that we also reap for he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life so a common deception is I can get a good result for a bad seat I can say a bad word and get a good result you idiot you jerk you stupid cursing being unkind threatening divorce threatening adultery a threat a bad word and I'm gonna say this bad word just gonna bring a good result and I see people you know I've counseled Trish ins for 36 years and you know these sweet people that you know they're sweet they go to church carry their Bibles they're just sweet precious people but when they get in the fight they cuss like sailors and I've had them come into my office and you know tell me their fights and tell me what they said to each other and all that and I love them to death you know and but they hurt each other but in 36 years of counseling here's what I've never heard I've never heard a couple come into counseling and one of them say pastor Jimmy well my spouse and I got into fight the other and I and they cussed me up one side and down the other they called me every name of the book and boy it helped yeah right in the middle of them just going into a tirade and cussing me out a light came on and I just thought you know the right and I'm just so glad I've got a spouse that will tell me the truth I've never heard that but here's the word I've heard over and over devastated devastated when I repented to caring because I was a horrible husband when I repented to Karen she said the worst thing you've ever done is what you said to me Jimmy it was the power life and death is in my tongue is in your tongue and if you understand it you have a wonderful life if you don't understand it life is gonna be tough my wife was tough the second deception is I would say something positive but it wouldn't make any difference it's impossible don't be to see if you believe that saying a good word wouldn't help your deceit every good seed brings a good result words of love words of kindness words of truth words of compassion words of understanding words of encouragement a good word will bring a good result the devil will say you don't don't even talk to them don't don't even say anything nice to them you just you just be mean that'll bring a good result but that's deception bad words bring it reap what you sow that's the first law of sowing and reaping let me talk about men for just a minute because we're told as men to be christ-like husbands and Ephesians 5 tells us to love our wives as Christ loved the church here's what says that he might sanctify and sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water with the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church do you know why Jesus washes us with his word because he wants a good bride did you know if you'll speak good words to your wife she'll be the bride you want her to be women are three times more verbal than men some are even more than that so I'm not gonna make eye contact or this meant so women need words they need a lot of words I used to come home from work and camera where'd you go what you did who you see that's why she is so nosy and I'm not gonna feed that monster men talk for communication for information women talk to connect and they don't just weren't your words they want your heart Karin was always trying to how'd you feel about that and I thought I didn't feel anything the arrow went through my heart I never felt the name how'd you feel how you feel so I one day I said to Karen I'm gonna come home we're gonna put the kids to bed and we had a little sitting area in our bedroom and I said we're gonna go in the bedroom sound no distractions and I'm gonna talk to you for as long as you want talk first time I've ever done that and I thought two things a I'm the greatest husband in the history of the world and B they're gonna find me tomorrow dead with my brain sucked out the sister is going to suck my brain out in my ear let me say let me say this when I began to talk from my heart patiently with Karen it transformed our marriage every area of our marriage was transformed if I would have ever known that talking to her patiently and lovingly would do that out of that long before number 2 law of sowing and reaping you reap much more than what you've sown you don't you don't plant a seed and get a seat bang you plant a seed and get much more than a seat for example I can feed the world with one kernel of corn good I plant one kernel you don't get one kernel back you get a stock back right with hundreds of kernels I take that stock and replant it I get a field back I take that field and replant it I get many fields back and I do that long enough I can feed the whole world with one kernel this is so important that we understand that our mouths have a disproportionate influence over our lives if you don't get anything else right you get this right this is James 3 we all stumble in many things if anyone does not stumble he is a perfect man able also to bridle the whole body indeed we put bits in horses mouths that they may obey us we turn their whole body look also it ships although they are so large and driven by fierce winds they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things see how great of forest a little fire Kindles in the tongue is a fire a world of iniquity the tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature and is set on fire by hell and so James says three things about our tongue it's a bit in a horse's mouth it's like a rudder on a ship and a spark that destroys a forest imagine this massive horse being controlled by a little piece of wood or metal in its mouth that's your tongue imagine a massive ship we went on a cruise a Caribbean cruise a marriage to a cruise there were 7500 people on the ship and this little bitty rudder control the entire ship at the back of it and someone is driving down the road flips a cigarette out the window and burns down millions of acres of forest fire that's this thing right here it's disproportionate it has more of an effect on our lives than anything else in our lives it's powerful the power of life and death is in it number three law of sowing and reaping there's a delay between sowing and reaping that differs between seeds again this is Galatians 6 do not be deceived God is not mocked for whatever a man shows that will he also reap for he who sows to his flesh well of the flesh reap corruption but he who sews to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life and let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart therefore as we have offered Kennedy let us do good to all especially those sir of the household of faith so in other words it takes faith when you're sowing seed if there's a delay when if I went and planted a corn seed it's not going to come up tomorrow there is gonna take some time for that to germinate and for it to come up so I as a farmer I've got to be patient I've got to understand it may take a few days or a few weeks but I have to understand it's there's going to be a delay but don't grow weary in due season every seed has a different germination period let me talk about this training your children proverbs 22:6 says train up your children in the way that they should go and when they're old they will not depart from it and so you can't create immediate results with your children or you'll damage them now you can keep them from putting stuff in light sockets and running in the street and things like that but I'm saying foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child it's just gonna take time to raise a good child and it says here if you train up a child in the way that they would go this means two things it means in the ways of God it also means in the way they should go my brother was the administrator of a mental hospital in Houston and they admitted a patient one day that was just going crazy basically and he had just graduated from dental school and they admitted him into the mental hospital and they said well what's wrong and he said I hate I hate put my hands in people's mouths hey so why'd you go to dental school he said because my grandfather is a dentist my father is a dentist well my brother's our dentist and I was pressured into becoming a dentist and the thought of putting my hands in people's mouths rest my life drove me crazy and they said well don't be a dentist he said I can be not be a dentist don't try to make a quarterback out of a musician they'll try to make an accountant I have somebody that is called to be something else you train that child up in a way they should go and the way that you know that what they should do is you ask Jesus because Jesus created them in their mother's womb each of your children has a different purpose you train all your children in the ways of God but you pray and you be God's assistant to help all of your children accomplish the destiny they were created for and what it says is when they get old they won't depart from it you say what does old mean eighty-three because I'm still waiting on my kids to kind of turn around it means mature it means mature both of our kids Julian Brent we have great kids great godly kids they're in their 40s now but when they graduated from college there was a question mark over them we raised them the best that we could we we spoke destiny over them we prayed over them but when they went to college it took a period of time for our faith to be their faith and we stood on the promise of God that we had trained them in the way that they should go and they would come back to here I heard this statement one time you never know what kind of a parent you are until your children turn 30 but when you get angry with your children and you get frustrated with your children you say you'll never amount to anything you'll never be like your brother Billy you'll never you'll never like that you'll damage that child and the reason you're saying is you're frustrated you're trying to produce immediate results in the worst day of your child's life you walk up and say you're a man of God and you have a destiny on your life you're a woman of God and we believe in you like the Jewish mother her child flunked out of school and he came home and she said we'll see there they don't know how to teach a genius would you like to have that mother you speak life over that child you pray life over that child be a good farmer you keep speaking write seed into that child it will bear fruit in due season pray for your marriage and children praying is when you're praying you're spitting out good seed first Timothy 1:3 Paul tells Timothy without ceasing I remember you in my prayers the word remember there it means in the Greek language that which preserves the memory and it's from the root word Minea in some places in greek literature it meant a monument or memorial x10 for the angel comes to Cornelius's houses says Cornelius your prayers have come up as a memorial before God and you have been praying and you have been praying and you have been praying and maybe you're getting a little bit discouraged can I give you a word picture when you're praying for one of your children you're building a monument in the presence of God that looks like that child your prayers are not evaporating your prayers are accumulated you're praying for your husband you're praying for your wife you're praying for something and as you're praying you're building a memorial and the angel comes to Cornelison says Cornelius we have seen the result of your prayers and it's a monument in the presence of God don't get discouraged your prayers are meaningful you build a monument in the presence of God and your prayers will come true the number three thing is speaking the truth in love it says speaking the truth in love we grow up into all aspects into godlet the proverb says look kindness and truth be bound around your neck in other words it means every word that comes out of your mouth is true but it's loving nagging the difference between speaking the truth in love and nagging is we become the enforcer see that we all have we all have the right to say anything we want to to our spouse the question is who is the enforcer us or the Holy Spirit and when we become the enforcer you're gonna do what I say or I'm gonna I'm gonna nag you I'm gonna I'm talking about men and women I'm gonna nag you we damaged our spouse so Karen and I our marriage was healed and you know we were doing good and we were having we would have conversations you know intense conversations intense fellowship from time to time and Karen would say to me that she would say gee I wish I could just record you and play play back you to you so you can see the way you talk to me when you're angry and this I bet I had repented I was a lot better and I said there's nothing wrong with the way I talk to you and I remember being so frustrated in these conversations thinking how many times we have to have the same conversation I just want to get you scrubbed up right now and this thing over with and the Lord healed me in one instant I'm sure Cameron's praying for me the Lord healed me instance I was reading the word one morning and it says Jesus washes his bride in the washing of water with the word I read that Scripture and immediately I saw myself as a filthy bride filthy and the Lord was going over to it like a vase of water and he was putting his hands in this water and very gently coming and just releasing over my head and what I realized was he had been doing this since the day I got saved did you know that when you got saved God knew you were not a short project how precious Jesus is you know when they restore a masterpiece like I've been through a fire they use a q-tip and they go months at a time and all they're trying to do is to get the smut and stuff off of the painting without touching either paint and they'll sit I'm to a DD I would take a paint scraper after it and but but you know that that's what God has been doing to you because you're so precious I could see how Jesus was not trying to scrub me down but for all the years since I had been saved he was just taking his word and just gently washing me with it the next scene that I saw was Karen in a wedding dress and I was hosing her down with the fire hose and her dress was blown back her veil was blown back and it was just like this and I realized Jesus is very patient with me I'm very impatient with Karen I'm trying to get her cleaned in one conversation that's why I'm so intense with my words and I'm not trusting God to be the enforcer so the next time something happened you know that I would have typically been a little bit frustrated I went and Karen was in the kitchen and I went in there and and I said hey I want to say something to you and she said no I think she was ready for a fight you know and I said hey I want to say something she said what not walked ever said this and this and this and I would have typically done this was this was the old Jimmy I would have typically said do you understand yes what does just me it's just mean you're gonna and I would you know just start that kind of thing so I walked and I said Helen say something she's what I told her and I said I walked over gave her a hug gave her a kiss walked out the room that wasn't like me and so I I did that for a while and I was in my office at home and she walked up the door one day and she said I noticed what you're doing so and I like it I liked it too it's hard being God you know God is a big job and trying to be God of other people's lives it's just a stressful job and I decided to let God be God and I was gonna be Jimmy and I was gonna speak the truth in love listen the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth if you're speaking the truth he'll enforce it if it's not the truth you don't want him to enforce it just relax plant the seed in due season your husband is going to change in due season your wife's gonna change in due season your children change let me tell you one more story and I'm done I was pastoring an Amarillo and this couple young couple in their 20s came in I said pastor Jimmy we can't get pregnant that's what let me pray for you so we I prayed with him three or four times you know and they're real real sweet couple and I said did you have you guys been the doctor is this you sudden seemed right and they said yeah we've been to the doctor he tells us there's a dustman nothing wrong with us and so I knew the doctor and I was visiting people in the hospital one day and I was in the elevator with him and he said we talked for this minute he said Jimmy you know you know this young couple goes to your church that can't get pregnant and I said yeah and he said there's nothing wrong with him and I said well that's what they told me that you said he said no Jimmy I'm saying there's nothing wrong with them she should be getting pregnant and I said what really he said you need to find out what's wrong well I thought we hear the doctor you know I just finished being God now as well be the doctor you know so he said you need to go back find out what's wrong thing and it just interested me it interested me and so they came in to see me shortly after that and they walked in my office and said well Jimmy we want you to pray for us that we can have to be pregnant I saw there's I talk to your doctor in the elevator hospital the other day nice oh really nice yeah he said there's nothing wrong they said yeah that's what they that's what they he says I said well I want y'all to tell me what's wrong they said oh that's Jimmy we we don't know what's wrong I said yeah you did what's wrong and they said Esther Jimmy we don't know what's wrong I said yeah he did what's wrong they said we don't know what's wrong I said yeah he did and I just stared at him and she lowered her head I said what's wrong she said Oh pastor Jimmy when I was a young girl I did something that was wrong with some boys and my mother caught me and she told me because I had done that that God would never let me have children I knew I know the whole family I knew her mother I said your mother's a sweet woman but she cursed you and her words are preventing you from having children and we're gonna break that curse right now we forgave her mother and in the name of Jesus we broke the word curse that had been spoke spoken over her and she started spitting out kids faster than we can count this thing is powerful right here now and as much as it can kill somebody it can bring a life to somebody they can be right life to you we need to train our mouths for marriage we need to train our mouths for relationship we need to train our mouths for life whatever you plant that's what you're going to reap and you're gonna reap much more than what you planted but there's gonna be a delay so it takes a person of faith to release the power of life once you beg has with me if you would Lord we we take responsibility for our words we all of us have said some things we shouldn't have said and we pray the blood of Jesus will erase every bad word we've ever spoken so that we never have to take responsibility for it in Jesus you said make the tree good and it's fruit good or the tree badness fruit bad and what you're saying is we have the power to change our hearts to repent to take responsibility as husbands and wives and parents and people of God we we don't want to be like the people of the world we want to be your children and we want to be people of life as husbands we want to be husbands of life as wives we want to be wives of life as parents we're gonna be parents of life we surrender our mouths to the lordship of Jesus Christ we're not the master of our tongue Jesus you are and we pray that you would forgive us that you would fill us with your Holy Spirit and from this day forward that our words would be words of life and bring life to all of those around us and I bless this congregation I pray that you would open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing on them that they simply could not receive I speak health I speak promotion I speak favor I speak blessing I speak every blessing Jesus that you died and rose again to give them in the name of Jesus amen

Channel: gatewaychurchtv

Views: 37,954

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Keywords: Christmas, gatewaypeople, Gateway, Gateway Church, Robert Morris, Pastor Robert, Savior, Dallas, Southlake, Texas, Jesus, Sermon, salvation, christ, REAL series, Jimmy Evans

Id: N-QbN4qh-xI

Length: 31min 46sec (1906 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 17 2018