Hey there. Hi. The audience is so well lit. I feel like I know all of you. It's normally dark out there. No, when we started
the show, I thought they should be part of the show. They shouldn't be in the dark. They should be as lit as we are. So we actually include
them in the show. I like that. OK, cool. That's on purpose. Do you want me to turn-- It's a little scary. OK. No, no, no, it's OK. [INAUDIBLE] Do you not want to see them? No, no, no, it's fine. Just keep smiling. OK. Be supportive. So first of all, the
movie is fantastic. Thank you. Portia and I loved it. Thanks. We watched it and said this is
like a good old-fashioned spy thriller that the way
movies used to be made. Yeah. And I just love it. I think you're great in it. I think the movie is fantastic. So I highly recommend it. I think it's fantastic. Thank you so much. And it comes out today, so now
you're officially on vacation. Yeah. And you have an alter ego
when you go on vacation. Yeah, I can't go on
a vacation right now. Because I just can't-- I can't deal with
Gail at the mo-- I need to rest before Gail. OK, why did you name her Gail? I didn't. She almost named herself. I think my girlfriends
probably named her Gail just by the way I look. And it's a very
specific drunk too. It's not just like every time
I'm drunk, I turn into this-- I think she's some sort of
tortoise gambler or something. I don't always turn into
this masculine alter ego that jumps into
shark ridden waters just to make my friends laugh. My friends were like, that's
too far, Jen-- no not funny. It's not every time. I think it might
be rum, which is what I brought up to Colbert. Because the only time I
drink rum is on vacation. Well, you're on vacation. Bring the rum. [APPLAUSE] I can't. I can't keep doing this. Oh my god. I can't. I really can't. I'll take this one. They're all labeled. Oh my god. That's rum punch. They're fake, right? Are they-- Let's see if they are. That's real. Yeah. Oh my god, this is going to
turn into my whole thing. But you don't normally-- I'm not this big of a drinker. When I'm on a press tour,
I really drink a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Only on a press tour. Yeah, but if I'm working
and filming, then I can't. No. It's not like I'm
like this every night. No. Well, you wouldn't be able to. Because you're
very professional. No, but bus tours. It's the only way
to make it through. Yeah, so let's talk about Gail
some more while you drink that. Gail is a lovely-- she's
got a heart of gold. She's just-- Can we show a picture of Gail? Because she does
look very different. There she is. There is my girl. So that's how-- Zoom in, please. That's how you normally look. And then Gail is-- what is the difference there? First of all, that's
not how I-- oh my god. Look, I was trying to look cute. I was getting photographed
with all my girlfriends on the beach. I wanted to look cute. And look what-- I
can't even repeat it. My whole face is just crooked. It's a different face. Yeah. That's not your normal smile. I hope not. No. It might be. I don't know. No. But the hair too,
just so presidential. Yeah. What happens? So you become braver. You go into shark
infested waters. I'll just give you
five seconds of Gail. So from there, we
went conch diving. And we pull up the conch,
and the guy driving our boat goes look. They all have little worms. I took it out of his hand and
swallowed it, and then pulled the worms out of all the conchs
and swallowed all the worms. And some of my friends
are like kind of laughing. But they're like hello? Hello? And then we pull up. And he's like, and this
is where the fishermen clean all the fish out. So there's all
these sharks here. And I was like sack
and just jumped in. And everyone's like somebody
get her some water and coffee. She's going to die. Wow. It was just one masculine-- what are those people
called, adrenaline junkie? Adrenaline junkies? Yeah, and I'm like-- I'm normally pretty cautious. I've never really broken-- You sit like that. I sit like this-- Wow. --in my real life. And then I get rum
in me, and I'm just like let's arm wrestle! So because usually if you drink
vodka, you don't become Gail? It's only rum. I'm trying to think what
I drank at your birthday. Vodka. OK, that's-- I think you did. Yeah, and that did
something else but not Gail. But I think someone
was passing a tra-- I think it was Reese walking
around with a tray of tequila shots, though. So I don't know if you did that. I probably knocked
the tray over. Rawr! I don't know. All I know is after
five minutes, me and Jennifer Aniston had
our arms around each other. No, I love you the most! No, I love you! We were just like ah! Nostrils flared. It was really intense. Wow. I love her. And she loves you. I love a lot of
people at your party. So what kind of
drunk was this on-- this was a red carpet. Oh, jeez. And I want to know-- Oh! [LAUGHTER] No! What? No! Oh, god, it was so awful. In my defense,
please take her away. Oh my god. Oh my god! That's not Gail, right? No, that's someone else. I just met her the other night. I feel like her
name ends with an E, or [? Veronica-e ?]
or something. I don't know. So what happened was
I did Andy Cohen. I was drinking a lot of wine. And then I went to
Colbert, tried to sober up. I was drinking coffee. And I was like, uh oh. I got too drunk
with the housewives, which is something I've
always dreamt of saying. So I was like, I got too
drunk with the housewives. I'm trying to drink coffee. And then he pulls out shots of
rum in the middle of the show. Then I have to go
to the premiere. And I am hammered. And so, I get on the red carpet. I'm like don't look drunk. Don't look drunk. And then I look like
I've been electrified. Oh my god. Oh my god. That was you trying
not to look drunk? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It would have been better
just to look drunk, I think. Yeah. I think my nipple was out too. I was just all sorts of awful. I don't think your
nipple is out. Is your nipple out? [INAUDIBLE] I really think
drinking is a good idea for me. Yeah. It's a good way to get
through a [INAUDIBLE].. Yeah. No, it worked out.
