Jason Evert: "A Battle Plan for Mission and Fatherhood" | SLS18

thank you very much thank you guys let's start our time together in prayer in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit amen hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death amen st. Joseph glory of home life pray for us the name of the Father the Son the Holy Spirit amen I think Lisa did a beautiful job explaining mission and motherhood and so Focus has asked me to the opposite part of this which is mission and fatherhood and I'll tell you as a dad I think the best part of being a dad is when your wife have to leave the house for a while and you've got all the kids to yourself because if your wife is gone there's really no adult supervision right so I want to I want to give you a bit of a glimpse of what goes down and the Everett household when dads in charge and mom is not to be seen so if we can just roll this little video I think it kind of sums things up well [Music] [Music] that's up that's that's my vocation in a nutshell right there so and now that's what we had a few we've had a couple more since then so this is the full picture of our family right now we've been blessed with a with seven beautiful kids and people often ask well how did y'all get started you know the family of the ministry and everything and it really began for me when I was in many of your shoes in college at my college Franciscan University we had all kinds yep that was a shameless plug but I we had all kinds of mission opportunities a new prison ministry you could work with a homeless and so I got involved in some of these I got involved in youth ministry or as leading high school retreats and on these retreats the kids would really open up about what they're wrestling with especially there's sexuality broken relationships and broken homes and hearts and I realized like no one's given them solid concrete guidance and teaching them the virtue of chastity I was also at the same time doing crisis pregnancy counseling specifically sidewalk counseling whereas standing in front of an abortion clinic and I did this for three years talking to women as they went in to give him other options other than abortion I wasn't particularly good at it one day I was there in a a religious sister from New York City was in town and she came up to me and she said oh do you mind if I talk to some of the women I'm like oh yeah give it a shot sister she saved 19 babies in one day you know I went up to her and I'm like sister what did you say to her you know give me the line you said but it wasn't what she said it was who she was she had that charism that gift for building up the church and I realized that maybe that wasn't the gift that I had been given and when I was in front of these abortion clinics honestly I kind of just felt late like why am i meeting this woman 45 minutes before she has an abortion how come I can't meet her when she's 17 years old instead of 27 and maybe if I taught her chastity then she never would have dated this guy to begin with and be in this difficult situation today and I felt late I felt like I was kind of throwing sandbags on the banks of a flooded river when I needed to swim upstream where the dam was broken and so I started to speak more in chastity at this time I was discovering a book by Saint John Paul the second called love and responsibility and I fell in love with this man's teachings and I rose this is it like this is the antidote to so much of this hurt that I'm seeing and I just had this burning passion to share it and I was hired by Catholic Answers in San Diego to do apologetics and I told him look you know I like apologetics but my heart is with the young I just want to be with the high school and the college students because I think God speaks to us through our desires I read one man who said this the place that God calls us is that place where the world's deep hunger and our deep desire meet and so I had this deep desire to spread this mission mission and it was in the context of doing ministry that I met my wife I was actually doing prison ministry and she looked really cute in orange and so I want nothing just kidding I've shown that bad we actually met at a big international chastity conference for leaders and we met there and we kind of hit it off and then I went back home to California she went back home to Colorado and we had this long-distance French shouts and then one day she came out to visit me in California and I said hey I got a chastity talk at a high school tomorrow do you want to get up and kind of do a little witness for five minutes she's like I don't know I've never shared my testimony I'm like I think he'd be pretty good and so she did and she shared her witness in front of these kids and I'm telling you that she knocked him dead girls are coming up afterwards hugging crying and dumping their boyfriends and I have yeah I said or yeah I think we make a pretty good team doing this and so he continued speaking as a dating couple and then I actually proposed to her during a high school assembly in front of 800 kids cuz I figured she can't say no in front of all of them and so safe for me so nobody knew was gonna happen except for 12 seniors in the front row at the end of the talk I said we're gonna end the day's talk a little bit differently I gave him a wink and they got up and they left and they went to the back of the bleachers or I had hidden there before the assembly three dozen roses that dosnt white for purity yellow for friendship and red for love and they started processing towards her giving her these roses as I explained you know the Bible says he who has found a friend has found a sturdy shelter a treasure and as yellow represents our friendship this white represents our purity which is our superglue that sacrifice and I said you and this red represents our love and I want to love you for life and I drop down on one knee and the whole high school jumps up they start screaming and I'm like shut up so I can ask her and so they got really quiet and I said you know Kristalina will you be my bride for life and she said yes and then afterwards a high school guy came up and he's like do you guys do this at every assembly oh my god that was the real thing man and so as we continued to speak isn't an engaged couple than a married couple people started asking well once you guys get married are you gonna still do this abstinence talk thing because now you're married I mean it's kind of different and I told like it's never been about abstinence it's only ever been about chastity which is this virtue that we have to practice regardless of our state of life but things had to shift in marriage because when I was single and doing mission I'd be traveling sometimes twenty-eight days a month speaking I'd go to speak in Louisiana for three weeks I'd get home I'd do some laundry you know go surfing get on the next plane and head out to New York and this was every month and now in marriage some things had to shift a new balance had to be struck and so something that helped me put things in balance and perspective is the reminder that in becoming man Jesus Christ not only revealed God to us he revealed us to ourselves he reveals what it means to be a man in his roles as priests as prophet and King and by virtue of your baptism all people men and women are called into these roles if you're a guy it's not whether Oaks should I become a priest or should I get married if you become married do you understand you are the priest of your domestic church in your house that is your role and as a priest of your domestic church what is the role of a priest a priest is one who sacrifices now under the Old Covenant the priest was one who sacrificed other things an ox or sheep Christ under the New Testament and the New Covenant revealed that the priest is one who offers the sacrifice of himself and so as a man who called to give this gift of ourselves unfortunately we live in this culture we're taught as men to be afraid of commitment don't give yourself you might lose yourself don't commit to her someone better might come along you don't want to get married then you're tied down ball-and-chain game over you have kids it takes away your freedom this is such a bogus notion of freedom I don't remember I shared it at sea but I saw this article that came out it sums this up perfectly it was on MSM and it was called ten reasons you should never have kids now you know you've written a dumb article when if everyone agreed with you humanity would cease to exist okay like but listen to this it says if you have kids a large part of your life will be focused on your relationship with your child rather than yourself I'm gonna lose my relationship with myself and then it says look if you have if you don't have kids you won't be exposed to germs that your children bring home from daycare it says microbes are easily transmitted and you can get aches pains flu-like symptoms and diarrhea it's right here oh man I got gonna argue with it I mean I told the students yesterday I mean my kids bring home like Ebola in their lunchbox you know but it's gonna build your immune system you know but but it goes on and it says if you don't have time to yourself you'll end up losing yourself not having kids means you won't lose yourself you can do yoga or whatever want all the time and I mean if it weren't so funny it's just depressing that this is the complete inversion of what freedom is ultimately for the church teacher this man can only find himself in the fullest giving of himself Luka with Saint John Paul the second set when he talked to college guys in Poland is a bishop God who is father who is creator has planted a reflection of his creative strength and power within man and we men should sing hymns of praise to God the Creator for this reflection of himself and us and not only in our souls but also in our bodies and so we're called you find our freedom by making a gift of ourselves and I'm telling you one of the best tools of discernment that's most often overlooked is action so off I go am I gonna become this should I date her should I do this you want to discern act it's one of the best ways to discern what God is authentically calling you - so we're called to make that gift of ourselves secondly we're called me priests we're called to be a prophet now when you think of prophet you think of someone who speaks on behalf of God the primary focus of a prophet is not to speak it's to listen to God because if you're not listening to God frankly you have nothing to say listen to what john paul ii says he says we must understand that in order to do we must first learn to be that is to say and the sweet company of jesus and adoration as Americans we get hyperactive sometimes in the Apostolic life but you know what if you are hyperactive in the Apostolic life it is a sign of spiritual laziness it is a sign of spiritual sloth if you're too active in ministry because for one it's pride because all I think I can do this on my own we're focused on productivity and we don't want to do the heavy lifting of the interior life which is truly what makes the ministries fruitful and we all fall into this it's all about productivity it's all about numbers but no it's not it's about fruitfulness which often comes when we're simply suffering for Christ and I fall into this after years speak and I'll be like hey God you know we spoke to a hundred thousand this year let's do a million next year oh and God puts that in check real fast like Oh a million do you want a fast for a million I'm like no fasting makes me hungry you know what let's go the motivational speaker gig you know and so he puts that in check john paul ii goes on and he says in the church no commitment to the works of the apostolate even the most necessary and urgent can ever excuse us from the duty of raising our hearts and mind to God and prayer so as a prophet we first need to listen to God we also have to have a listening heart towards our children we have to learn how to listen to my wife I'm not particularly good at that you know I mean she even said to me she's like honey you know you're not a very good listener you know and I said oh honey I'm a motivational speaker not a motivational listener now she didn't think that was very funny but I found was rather witty on my part ah but look we have to learn to listen we've got to learn to absorb because you know ultimately look if I don't know how to receive the love of the father how can I transmit the love of the father of the children but so our first role is active receptivity in imitation of Our Lady and then we can be the Prophet then we can speak and speak we must as fathers I remember hearing a most depressing statistic I've ever heard which is that a boy by the time he reaches six years old will have spent more time watching television then he will spend talking to his dad over the course of his entire human life who's the Prophet to our kids is it the screens it's got to be us we've got to speak but first as I said we have to learn to listen so we're the priest or the prophet and then we have to be the king now Jesus makes it clear in terms of kingship you know you know what the rulers of the gentiles they lord it over them they make their authority felt but it must not be that way with you he who aspires to be the greatest must be the servant now one of the beauties of the married life service is not really an option okay like it is demanded of you I was walking down the hallway and I hear one where are you he's like I'm in the bathroom all right yes I walk in the bathroom I open the door he's sitting there doing his business so hey what's going on he said dad I need you to do four things for me why all right fire away he said I want you to turn on the light turn on the fan hand me a dinosaur book to shut the door on the way out and I will call you when I'm finished oh yes my lord yes my liege hey you couldn't pay someone to do this like even if you were my boss I'd fire myself I mean but but the beauty is is how the kids anchor you the family saves you from yourself it's what they do because it brings great comfort in the in the humbleness of it because you think of Christ's words of the Last Judgment I was naked and you clothed me I was thirsty and you gave me to drink I was hungry and you fed me I was sick and you cared for me I think of that and I'm like I do that every morning by 9:00 a.m. you know I've got this covered and depending on how they're behaving I might even be visiting the imprisoned by the end of the day I'm absolutely we got the Marx works of mercy covered and so the kids anchor you and they really I think save you from yourself but what's so important you know as least it was talking about a priest told a friend of mine who's in active in ministry his arm our families at the marriage the family that is the primary apostolate to which God has called you if you calling you that sacrament that is your primary mission field is your family a friend of mine does ministry and a priest told them very sternly said him do not become a street light only for your house to become dark do not become a street light only for your house to become dark how do you keep light in the house well one priest told me when I was getting started ministry he said the most important word that you must learn to be an effective apostle is the word no no I will not speak at that conference no I will not write that endorsement no I do not have time for that meeting no I cannot do that retreat no now this seems pretty counterproductive you just heard five days of talks of saying yes and heading out doing it now I'm the last talk I'm basically actually just saying no okay now but you're not saying no to God okay you're saying no for the sake of God because if you don't learn how to say no as an apostle you know what you're gonna do you're gonna sacrifice your marriage on the altar of your ministry and this brings no glory to God what so ever and so with my wife and I we've set rules in the ministry like this I only travel nine days a month and no more than two nights at a time I will travel internationally only once per quarter those presentations maybe five and a half days and on those months I will only travel three days that other month so I'm home 22 days every single month and I always speak once per month in the summer so I'm home more than any nine-to-five dad and so if someone calls hey we've got this conference with a thousand more kids sorry the month is full oh but we're will do next month oh I'm sorry we don't have this until next year oh well we look forward to coming next year because if I don't say no then what am I gonna do come to my wife oh honey I know you're really burnt out with the kids and it's been a long month but there's this other youth for Ally and they got 3,000 kids and then you know what I just dumped on my wife's conscience this unfair burden of like well what do I do tell him he can't go give a chastity talk if he doesn't speak you know I'm losing my mind but she doesn't speak those kids are gonna lose their virginity if he goes I'm gonna lose my sanity like something's gonna get lost here you know and I gotta figure out what it's gonna be this is sacrificing your marriage on the altar of the ministry and so we've got to be able to step back to learn to say no to set those rules and you can begin this right now as a college student as a single person learning to be a priest in a sense of offering yourself as a sacrifice learning to be a prophet but first listening in your prayer before speaking and then thirdly to be that King to begin this acts of service and as you head out after this conference some of you may be a little discouraged of like wow these these great speakers and he's awesome focus missionaries everybody seems to have it together all their marriages look perfect all their families look like they got it together and I feel like this tangled up mess but the fact is holiness is messy sometimes and don't look at our Instagram pictures and think we've all got it together and all of our marriages and family marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life it is sandpaper of sanctity it's difficult at times and so when you get into your vocation and it doesn't look like Instagram in your vocation and and it gets a little tough do not be afraid that you've chosen the wrong vocation there's gonna be suffering there and it's gonna be a little bit messy and I take great courage in the fact that some of the saints had messy lives there's a saint in China his name is st. mark G tang zheng this is a man a friend of mine always reads saints about book books about saints I hate you read any good books now he said oh I'm reading about saints and addictions oh my god that's calling me like Saints who help people with addictions he said no Saints who were addicted tell me more and he said yeah check out the st. mark guy in China so I read about this guy he's a doctor at the age of 36 he gets sick with a stomach ailment and to treat himself he began taking opium which is a common drug at that time for healing these things unfortunately he got addicted to this drug and he'd go to confession you know Father forgive me I've sinned I mean using opium as a drug okay well you know try this and then he'd mess up again and he'd go back to confession I'll father forgive me I'm messed up again okay well let's try this let's try that and he kept falling into this addiction and the priest didn't understand the nature of addiction as a mental illness and passed orally and told them look you must not be sorry for your sins if you're still wrestling with this addiction and so I need you to not come back to confession until you're really sorry and you have this overcome and by the way don't receive the Eucharist either and so mark humbly obeyed and he did not receive the sacraments for 30 years and for 30 years he prayed he would become a martyr and that he would be able to give up his life and he wrestled with this addiction trying his best and faithful to his family and to God and in the year 1900 the Boxer Rebellion hit China Christians and Catholics were being martyred and his family was being dragged off to be executed all 10 of them and as they were being dragged away his little grandson said to him the executors were leading them to be killed and the little boy was frightening said dad grandpa grandpa where we going and Saint Mark said we're going home and he led that family to the executors and all of them were beheaded and Saint Mark begged the executors please me last so that none of my family has to die without me and without comfort and so he encouraged them as they beheaded one of them after the other and after cute executing all nine of them they beheaded him as he was singing the litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary he is a canonized saint who died an addict to opium and I love his his story because it's messy it's real this saint is not the one who does not have a mess in his life okay the saint is the one who gives his mess utterly and completely to Jesus Christ and so as you leave here do not be discouraged if you don't have it all together take that mess let God love you in the mess and as st. Teresa said if you become or Saint Catherine said if you become what you should be you guys are going to set the world on fire so go get them guys and god bless you thank you very much

Channel: FOCUS Catholic

Views: 20,846

Rating: 4.9414992 out of 5

Keywords: SLS18, FOCUS, FOCUS Catholic, College Student, Catholic Conference, Catholic Faith, Catholic, Spiritual Multiplication, Catholic Talks, FOCUS Conference, Eucharist, Catholic College Students, Living the Faith, SEEK, SEEK by FOCUS, Jason Evert, Chastity Project, Jason and Christina

Id: Q2TogUV3Qa0

Length: 21min 38sec (1298 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 19 2018