Is He The One? 5 Questions to Know for Sure (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

do you like surprises well at the end of this video I have a surprise for you a little treat if you will but before we do that let's talk about the five questions you can ask yourself to figure out if a guy is the one for you look firstly I don't believe in the one I think there are thousands or tens of thousands of people that we could be really really happy with when we look at people who say they found the one what we're really looking at is somebody who found a person with a great set of qualities that they were looking for who also happened to be at a stage in their life where they were ready to commit to a serious relationship that's it so what we're doing in this video is not trying to find the one person in the world that's right for us what we're doing is asking a set of questions that will allow us to determine if the person we're thinking about has the potential to be the one we should choose question number one you know Jameson this is too important how do we show this visually do you want to that wasn't too crude I guess what I'm trying to say is do you want to him the reason this is question number one is because it's pretty fundamental look what separates a relationship from a friendship is sex and I know people talk all the time about how sex isn't everything but of course there's that wonderful line that when sex is good it's 20% of the relationship when it's bad is 80% of the relationship we have to be very careful who we pick because who we pick we have to have chemistry with and in my experience and perhaps in yours too chemistry doesn't magically appear halfway through the relationship sex gets better that's true we learn about each other we get to know each other's bodies and what we like but chemistry often doesn't get better that's not to say it never does but it's much easier to pick someone in the first place who you know you have chemistry with that you can build on question number two can he scuba dive now this is really a nuanced way of asking if he can inhabit environments that are important to you for a period of time being underwater is not a natural environment for human beings but by strapping on the scuba gear we can last underwater for a little while I think of relationships the same way someone might not feel massively comfortable at your family party where they have to talk to all of your relatives and all of the different characters in your family or if you're sitting at home doing something you love like watching documentaries it might not be something they normally do what determines the strength of a relationship is whether he's willing to learn how to scuba dive to put on the gear and operate in an environment that may not be the easiest thing in the world for him but he does it because that environment is important to you question number three does he give you brain all now I know this sounds like a dirty word but it really isn't hello while back me and Jameson did a video on brain or brain or the act of penetrating deep subjects of intellectual curiosity with a partner resulting in mental stimulation and often physical emotional attraction see the truth is intelligence is sexy now this isn't measured in the number of intellectual conversations you have with someone in fact it doesn't have to be about intellectual conversation at all it's about whether you're around someone who causes your neurons to fire because by being around them you grow you learn new perspectives do outlooks they share their world with you you learn about different things that you hadn't considered before maybe there are great role model in certain ways but in short you feel like this person is someone who's bringing out the best in you and causing you to grow question four is he worth it at his worst now there is a quote that is attributed to Marilyn Monroe that has become massively popular as an online relationship quote it goes like this I'm selfish impatient and a little insecure I make mistakes I'm out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me up my best now it turns out Marilyn Monroe may have never said that but that's not why I care about what I'm interested in is how popular this quote has become and how misguided it is if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best an extraordinarily narcissistic quote that excuses all types of horrible behavior when someone is at their worst and we know that the strength of a relationship isn't how someone behaves when it's all rosy when they're happy when they're having a great day the strength of a relationship is how do two people operate when the chips are down when things are bad I remember growing up with my mom and dad in times where we had gone bankrupt when it was the worst it had ever been the relationship between my mom and dad in those times when they were the best team possible when they stuck together when they decided that no external circumstance was going to ruin them at their core that's what made them that's what meant that they're still together today it's what we do at our worst that dictates how great our relationship can be not how we are our best so if you're with a guy who is unbearable destructive venomous and just loads on pain to you when he's at his worst that is not the guy that is gonna be a teammate for life and finally it's time for question number five [Music] does the relationship only work if you time-travel in other words do you have to go forward in time to a moment where he has the qualities you actually want instead of the ones he has now or do you have to go forward in time to a moment when he actually wants the commitment you're asking for the one for you is a combination of two things he is both right and ready right in terms of the qualities he possesses and ready in terms of his willingness to give what you want in a relationship I would go as far as to argue if a guy isn't ready he can't be right now I get that you may love someone intensely we've all felt that at some stage and I would never judge you for that Nietzsche said there is always some madness in love but there is also always some reason in madness so no matter what your friends or family or anyone else says you know that there's a reason you love someone and you know that you're not crazy for feeling it but just because there's a legitimate reason for loving someone it doesn't make that person the right person as em Scott Peck said in the road less traveled love is a decision we decide to love someone and if the guy in front of you isn't deciding to love you you have to question whether he really is the one for you before you go I said I had a little surprise for you well whether or not this video has made you realize the person in front of you is the one I know that if you follow our advice sooner or later you will meet the one and when you do you will want to make sure that you hold on to that person and that you begin a beautiful relationship unfortunately for a lot of people that doesn't happen because there are a few simple things that they do wrong unconsciously in the beginning that cause someone to run away instead of pulling them closer so I made a free little guide for you just a quick read it'll take you a few minutes but it'll make you aware of what these mistakes are so that you never have to make them again check it out it's this link and I will see you in next week's video [Music] you

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 1,773,851

Keywords: matthew hussey, dating advice for women, what men want, how to attract men, meet men, get the guy, make him like you, make him love you, tips for women, flirting tips, texting, calling, how to talk to men, love advice, relationships, matt hussey, matthew hussy, mathew hussey, how to flirt, 5 questions to ask, is he the one?, matthew hussey 5 questions to ask, how to flirt with a guy, is he the one, find out if he's the one

Id: LaFQNm88M6k

Length: 8min 18sec (498 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 05 2017