In Celebration of Being Single - Pastor Mark Gungor

this is the final Sunday in February this is known as marriage month love month Valentine's Day all that kind of stuff and my brother and I have been speaking about love and marriage and relationships this is the last one as we close the sound taking a little bit of a different twist you wouldn't exactly think about this for marriage month but my message today is called in celebration of being single in first corinthians the seventh chapter now this is the chapter we read a couple of weeks ago first part of it talking about why to get married now Paul was not real warm and fuzzy on marriage he wasn't crazy about the idea a little different than we are today we kind of think you know great to be married to bad if you're single and back then it was great to be single too bad if you're married it's a complete different take on things and he basically said look don't do it don't do it why why do it unless you have this physical desire sexual drive the urge to merge then then go and do it but otherwise if you don't need that then don't get married and it is basically the fundamental reason for marriage in the first place now we keep talking about this thing about single versus married and stuff like that we get to verse 25 we'll pick it up here is now about virgins or single people which are supposed to be virgins I have no command from the Lord but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy in other words it's kind of interesting phrase here it's the only place I'm aware of in the Bible where he's writing and he says okay this isn't God talking this is me all right this isn't God giving a command this is just my advice I think I know what I'm talking about he says but this is me so if you disagree with Paul relax you're not arguing with God this is his opinion he says because of the current present crisis and yet to understand the early Christian church at times went through waves of persecution historically we know what is about things were very tough he says because of the present crisis I think it is good for a man to remain as he is it would be like today for example Christians in Egypt that have been going under a lot of persecution and then this whole revolts and stuff like going you know you know the dating who cares don't worry about this I just kind of stay where you're at in life let's get through the present crisis so that was part of it so that's one of his reasons to remain single then he says next verse is well if you're pledged to a woman if you're engaged don't seek to be released fine if you're free from such a commitment don't look for a wife but if you do marry you have not sinned oh thanks again not really warming was okay you won't go to hell if you marry I'll watch off he says another virgin an unmarried woman unmarried woman marries she is not sinned but then he tries to explain why he's talking the way he is those who marry will face many troubles in this life and all the married people said Amen yes and he does and I want to spare you this that's what he said look you get married you're gonna have some grease okay and I'm trying to spare you now again you got the urge to merge there's nothing else you can do but let's not kid ourselves the idea that you're going to get married and then there's going to be an unending stream of glorious bliss in your life hello check your medication the reality is what your spouse does may very well irritate you until the day you die the good news is you die so just relax good grief is hard I get it and he shall kind of spare you he says here an aphorism grieve I'm trying to cut you some slack give up you got to do what you got to do it's tough when you take two people from different worlds and build a life together it's worth it in the end it is a fabulous thing it's a great journey but it's not without trouble people kind of easy pass marked or something's wrong in our marriage really we got trouble no that's about right no that's that's this ain't nothing wrong well what I mean he says brothers is and sisters still making his argument for being single his his time is short and then he says the snakes verse which if you don't take any context as a little shocking from now on those who have wives should live as though they do not now that doesn't mean whew we get to go party and dump the wife all right got to keep reading he says those who marry is those will have live as Lily don't those who mourn as though they don't do did not those who are happy as though they were not those who buy something as if it was not theirs to keep those who use the things of this world as if not engrossed in them for this world in its present form is passing away what he's saying is look life is short it's temporary we should have such a passion for God we should be cruising forward with God so much focused on what God wants then all these other things it's as if it doesn't really exist he's not saying it doesn't exist of course you're still going to be happy you're going to be sad you're going to buy stuff you get to keep but you get to have a wife as it's not that's not the the analogy it's just the analogy is compared to the shortness of life here's an example most of you know I I'm a pilot and one day I'm flying in my plane cruising along gloriously at maximum forward speed thanking God that I'm not on the ground driving with all of you people and all of a sudden : guys Air Force guys pop up next to me in F 16 and it's very impressive when you're all set you look out the window and there's couple f-16 like wow so I key the mic and I holler as him whoa that's very cool and then they have heard it and they and one of them songs hot dogging it spinning around like that as he's going off I mean in a matter of noting they were gone It was as if I was standing still okay how was i standing still I was not standing still I was going very very fast away faster than any of you can drive in a car but compared to those boys out standing still it's like that okay by keeping a passion for God and keeping our focus on eternal things which were supposed to do it's like everything else is kind of blurry okay in fact I would dare say that if the things of life become huge to you huge obstacles my husband still won't take out the garbage and the kids are this and I got these bills I would dare challenge you you know you're probably moving too slow you know spiritually I know we got to deal with all the stuff I get it but you should be going so fast that the things of life or designing something more around us and it's not about that okay then he goes on to continue and he says I would like you to be free from concern an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs how he can please the Lord but a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world how he can please his wife it doesn't make him evil it just is what it is and his interests are divided an unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs her aim is to be devoted to her to the Lord both in body and spirit but a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world is life you got to do it how she can please her husband he says I'm saying this for your own good not to restrict you I'm not trying to bum you out I'm not to try to be a drag okay but I'm trying to do this so that you can see how you can live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord if you are really passionate about God big time and you want to just serve big time what he's saying is don't even get married so you can keep all your devotion to the Lord now again we think very differently today many times single people in Christian communities single moms single dads people have never been married often feel out of place feel kind of like a third wheel you know of you know I've heard people who sometimes around me will say that because I talk so much about marriage and family but the reality is most of us here are married or most will eventually become married but it's not about being a drag to single people in fact we need to celebrate single people I think single people according to Paul and it's certainly true is really one of the greatest assets the kingdom of God has people who are unencumbered and can give much more of their time and energy for things of the kingdom which we'll talk about just a minute but we as married people really should celebrate those around us who are not in the same status as we are you know invite these people into your home when was the last time you had a single person over to watch a movie with you and your wife kids or whatever stuff like that we should open our homes we should be encouraging that kind of reach out to these people a single mom or something like that you're going boating and you'll call them up say hey why don't you come join us and bring the couple of Rugrats in and invite these people in make them feel valued and cherished because we should value them and cherish them because they are an important part of God's kingdom okay now having said that let me put a little gavotte on it now this does not erase what I just said but we need to be smart you need to take care to avoid inappropriate affections okay and you need to listen to your spouse if your spouse says hey you know we've had Susie over here eight times this week knock it off all right you need to listen we're human beings you start spending too much time with someone you can get some inappropriate affections you know let's not be stupid about it okay but then let's not be paranoid about it this makes any sense to you but encourage them bring them in if you feel like someone's starting to get you know your husband says yeah let's not that Bob over this weekend he's been smiling a little too much when he sees you you know that reality check don't get Bob go get Susie or some other George or somebody or else like that alright so while we don't be paranoid and being paranoid new single people not to be afraid all they're gonna think I'm trying to steal so no no no we need to encourage you to be part of our lives just having said that let's not be idiots okay the Bible says we are not ignorant of Satan's devices I don't know who he's writing to because most people I know are completely ignorant of his devices but so what the Bible says so now having said that about taking them and sharing them to make them feel valuable one of the greatest things you can do is help to utilize these people in building the kingdom of God and laying up for yourselves treasures in heaven all right now let me assure you what I'm talking about in the Old Testament in 1st Samuel the 30th chapter we read about David now David highly entertaining to read about Dave if you're a guy who doesn't really like to read the Bible or just cuz you don't like to read it's not that you don't like the Bible is just it's kind of boring too because they like to read stuff or watch movies where people are getting killed and blown up and stuff then read David because it's great because they're killing people all the time and uh he has humming him and his merry band of men or butt-kicking machines you know yeah it's often you know a lot of movies and stuff they're all fantasies known for Robin Hood is all you know these fantasy this is no fantasy this was real this guy and his 600 buddies were an impossible force to deal with they never lost in any conflict but they were engaged in these were the most skilled in your face butt-kickin men on the face of the earth of this time and you want to read the accounts of it is quite fabulous and I wish we had time to to look at some of the stories well we'll do it some time but some of these guys were amazing they'll talk about one guy who stood his ground against like eight hundred other men now remember they don't have guns they're not like machines do you know you know bombs and stuff it's mono e mono I got a bigger club than you do all right and to sit there and for one man to take on 800 eyes and kill the entire lot of them that is a butt-kicking dude you know is that and they have these accounts and they sell but when and where it happened in some of these incredible things that these men did they were called David's mighty men these were the toughest of the tough you know they were all tough but the really tough guys could take our hundreds at a time I mean this up it was just amazing David let me sometimes you would read about David he would see like a whole bunch of the enemy up on a on a cliff and then he'd climb up to go get him now you're at a distinct disadvantage when you're climbing up trying to hang onto stuff while you're climbing and I'm sure they're not just waiting for you to come up like hurry up come on we gotta get going here I'm sure that's throwing stuff at him and try to get petty wouldn't be stopped he'd climb up he'd get there and he kill whole lot of up and then he climb back down again I mean this guy was you know Arnold Schwarzenegger this story of David you know Hollywood has never done an accurate story of David they should the last one was with who was at uh the pretty woman star what's his name Richard Gere played David Oh give me a break you don't get Richard Gere to play David you get Arnold Schwarzenegger I will kill you and then I'll be back to kill you again sorry David he's awesome you gotta love David IV this guy this is amazing so anyway okay back to the story so David and his buddies I read they're out there and they're kicking button they're just tearing up a bunch of you know these enemies of God that we're trying to fight but while he was out fighting the enemy came in the back to the city where they were staying in Ziklag were all the wives and children and stuff were and they came in at a rate of the city and they burned it to the ground and they took all the children and wives and everybody captive they didn't kill anybody they took them all captive because the day of these guys don't know they're just out there doing their manly man stuff and they're coming back from their battles and we pick up the story says David and his men reached Ziklag that's her home on the third day walking then of course now the Amalekites those dirty rats had raided in the Negev and Ziklag and they had a taxi sig leg and burned it and had taken captive the women and everyone else in it both young and old and they killed none of them thankfully but they carried them all off as they went their way taking them all the slaves well when David and his men reached Ziklag they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive so David and his now these are men these are men I am a curly man compared to at all as a girl who committed these guys these were men's men they sat down and they wept they cried they wailed out loud so long until they had no strength left to weep why their families were gone families they loved their family's life at the end of the day you know it's about family and so they were there and David's two wives had been captured and says their names were there from there David was greatly distressed why because his wives were God no because everyone was getting ready to kill him that's a bad day if I come to church and you all want to stone me to death that's a bad day for me so David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him to death why well we're out therefore we had a bit out there with you see we're great when things hit the fan and pointing figures of blame and as sweet as you all are I know human beings if something were to really go wrong in the church we had a big financial problem something the first thing happy to do is point your fingers at me that's your fault yeah obvious the way it is we all want to look for a reason to blame people you know you shouldn't do but it's the nature of people in these guys we're mad at David if we hadn't been out there fighting for you we'd have been here protecting our families and they started talking about stoning him now it's interesting to note how ladies take note here would you please David didn't start crying going they want to kill me they don't like me anymore well why would they say that if I didn't mean it then they obviously feel this inside because they want to kill me you know David they love you but they said it all right listen to me ladies you do not get to the truth from a man when he is stressed and frustrated I know women who try to continue the conversation when a man is at his wits and some of them somehow you poke him like a bear in a cage with a stick and then he turns around and goes and said something mean and he's women go AHA I knew that's what you really felt I know women in this congregation who have divorced men because of one thing the guy said so you divorce him for that why what is it this horrible thing so he didn't mean it but why did he say it I don't know maybe you were driving him crazy get a clue would you ladies I know in lady land you guys are different I don't understand you but in Manville when a man is frustrated and he says something mean you have not arrived at the truth you just arrived at mean anybody tracking this take notes write this down memorize it for heaven sakes the Bible says the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God you do not get to the truth in a man's heart by making him crazy and when he's mad and stressed now you're a man don't be an idiot don't say such mean stupid things are you crazy man if I said some of the things that you guys say to your wives she would beat me to death she would she would kill me and and do it very slowly so I would feel every pain when I get it you get mad but seriously stupid is as stupid does don't say stupid stuff all right move on so they were talking abstaining him he didn't freak out they're just a bunch of guys stressing out each one of them were bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters but David found strength in the Lord his God well then the story changes now if you're watching the movie now the music is changed because David had these 600 guys they're running and they're gonna go get these guys deductr daughter carrying all this stuff that they're running cuz you know they couldn't happen you know a train or anything they got a rod these guys already have a head start and they're running after them they're carrying all this stuff and they're running as hard as they can get these guys so 600 David and 600 men came with him and they came to the base Loire Valley where some stayed behind why because 200 of them were too exhausted to cross the valley but David and his other four continued to pursue 400 to continue the pursuit now these weren't girl man these were manly men and they are running so hard as a 200 of them get to the valley and they physically cannot continue their lungs are burning the things are going to die so they stay and they stay in support of the men going to the front they're staying by all the supplies well now you're chasing an army with 600 guys now you're down to 400 guys uh but they didn't care these guys were a butt-kicking machine and they kept running ha ha all right so where was it all right here we go so hey follow the music score here all right so so David at verse 17 he finds these guys and he engages these guys and he fights them from dusk until the evening of the next day so as the sun's going down they start they fight all night long all day long does I mean Wow and they kill them all except for 400 get now they're only 400 of them they kill everybody except for 400 who took off on camels it says except for 400 young men who rode off on camels jeez young guy said oh dude I'm out of here ah you know yeah so there take it off cuz David sitting there like Arnold Schwarzenegger waiting for the next guy I'll say they took off so David recovered everything the Amalekites had taken including his two wives nothing was missing young boy young or old boy or girl plunder anything else they got everything back including all the stuff that those guys had had see that was the deal when you crush an army you got all the plunder and spoils of that army money Gold food camels and chickens and squirrels and whatever they got okay so so they took all the flocks and herds and chickens and squirrels and all this man drove ahead of them with the other livestock say this is David's plunder this is our stuff we were we've just won the Super Bowl and I got lost again hurt my pants I don't know why you come to this church okay that David David came to the two hundred men who'd been too exhausted the fuss all these guys come back the two hundred guys and they went out to meet David and David as man approaches and how you guys doing oh we're cool we kick button everything okay and then verse 22 but it says not but all the evil men and troublemakers among David's followers said the following now it's kind of a mean way of saying these guys weren't evil these were David's guys these were these serious warriors that all the enemies of God feared the reason he called them evil because they were saying an evil thing what was the evil thing they said because they didn't want to give any of the loot to the guys the two hundred ever said hey we went out there we were on the front by we fought all that time till we were exhausted I said back here you know watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns man we're out there doing it and they come back they want to give him he says because they did not go out with us they said we will not share with them the plunder we were covered but you could take your wife and kids and go home well David replied no no no no you must not do that with what the Lord has given us he has protected us and delivered into our hands the raiding party that came against us who said listen you anyway I'm in charge basically saying the share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same with a man who went down to battle all will share alike and David made this a statute and ordinance in Israel from that day until this so the rule was whether you stayed back in support of the guys in the front line or whether or not you are on the front line everybody shares the same now stop and think about that this principle in the kingdom of God Jesus told us look in Matthew the sixth chapter you need to store up for yourselves treasures in heaven all right we need I know a lot of you working hard and you're thinking about your 401ks and retirement stuff like that listen and you got to do that I get that but that's just a small part of it but you're really supposed to be doing for this time we're on the earth is laying up treasures for the next world why because you're going to be dead a lot longer than you will be alive seriously when you look into eternity your time on this earth is it's nothing so you can spend every bit of energy that you have just worrying about and not caring about eternity I mean it's the dumbest thing people do Jesus said listen you need to lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven now here's the deal there are many ministry opportunities that are presented in the kingdom of God in churches everything from volunteering opportunities here in the church coming into you know put stuff together beat up some conference that we're doing or volunteering to go help mana booth at the Packer game that raises money which how should we raise this here any know like 20 grand 20 mm while the rest of you sitting home enjoying it they're out there selling hot dogs and stuff man and all the money goes to the church very very close with all kinds of opportunities there's ministry mission opportunities where we take people to like me and Mauro different things like that and there's lots of wonderful things that we can do all kinds of opportunities set before us here's the reality for a lot of us we just don't have the time to do it it is what it is particularly those of us who are married and have families it's what Paul was talking about oftentimes we hear about opportunities we think oh man I wish I could do it but I can't and it's like you evil doesn't make you bad we can't I don't have time for these things I barely have time to do whatever in the world that is I'm doing but don't just not do it look for people you can support so they can do it and the greatest opportunity we have for people like this are those who are not encumbered those who are single or even single moms and dads let me explain for example I just had a this week I was talking to somebody a couple in the church and their son wants to go to Costa Rica on this mission thing for for 10 days or whatever and they're going to go out there and I don't build stuff with the junk I don't know whatever they're going to do and but it was 500 like 500 dollars short and uh and they ask me boy you know if you could help out you know like with 20 bucks or something that would be great and I said I'll give the 500 bucks why I don't want to go I don't want to go down there I don't have the time anyway even if I wanted to I can't most of you know what I'm talking what you have lies you can't do all this stuff here's a single guy you go I make it possible for him to go you know who shares in the rewards of that for eternity me because he who stays by the stuff is the same reward as he who's on the front line it's a great opportunity you know I mean some people you know you think about you know helpings like downtown with manna for life or something the soup kitchens and stuff like that you don't have the time I don't have the time to do this but you know what you can go to a single mom and say who you know would be interesting would you like to be oh I wish I could not tell what will watch your kids alright so you can go great break for her she gets away from the Rugrats for five minutes regained some bit of sanity actually engages in adult conversations for a moment and she can do stuff that you cannot do you know and don't forget people the single moms particularly and dads who have just the kids that's it's a tough haul you know those of us who are married we get to share the responsibilities get to but we share the responsibilities it makes life easier the more hands the easier life is after today you know our grandkids are going to come over and and terrorize our house and and we're looking forward we've been knocking okay when should they come over and it's gonna be you know when the little Rugrats come out it's so easy because there's so many of us you know you know I play with a little guy for a while then I hear you taking for a while and then you know could be an hour and a half before they come around to you again and it's easy because you know it's just not you single mom single dads it's always just that always always always always you don't think they like a break have an opportunity where you step up you make something possible for them to be able to do what you cannot do it's not a compound not something what's a couple you know it's not a compound a cop-out is thing I wish I could do it and then doing nothing because you don't have the time that's a cop-out you feel oh I wish I could do that that's probably God trying to get your heart the Holy Spirit pulling on your heart don't just walk away because you can't look around who can I get to go for me who can I support what can I do to make it possible and the greatest asset we have are people who are not married or not encumbered with all the stuff going on and this is particularly true for you guys not only are you married you have your own businesses you know I know it's tough I've been there a lot of people think oh I wish I had my own business and I'd have all kinds of free time I don't think so having your own business is tough best part is you're the first one to find out if you're getting laid off but uh hey come on you guys guys you know what I'm talking about your company's oh and you man it is what is it's a season of life it's just as not your whole life but for why you got a building how to focus you don't have time to come in and volunteer for a lot of stuff around here but you could help somebody else you could step up you get involved encourage others make it possible for them so I got you know I don't want to go to the Packer game for three hours and stuff you know take Suzie's kids you know have fun with them they'll be nice to you anybody know this is by the way he got some little demon-possessed kid you know and then he goes over to someone else's house and you're convinced they probably burnt the thing down by now you know saying and then you've got you see him later say how was he and he oh he was great you go no really how was he you know cuz they're nice to them there's no war going on with them yeah then it's a break for everybody get people involved in your life you know sing you know in couples with couples I talk about that as well too it's good for couples to get out and get with other couples because then you can talk to your nonsense seriously my wife and do this all time we'll go out we'll go out another couple will vent stuff that's making the two of us crazy and I was getting a kick out of because the other couple always goes oh man that we don't feel so bad ha ha ha seriously because they they you know we're holding we float on air and we never have problem you know I Drive her crazy she drives me crazy what we do and then we vent it out and as good as healthy for you don't be one of these feel I know a lot of people think it's our business that's our business just our business nobody should know our business just the two of us you do that you are an idiot wrapped up in the you are just out of your stinking minds no one should know our business you're crazy you said on an island like that just the two of you y'all gonna turn into cannibals and eat each other's heads off it's healthy good to connect with other couples but don't forget about the single people as well invite them into your lives encourage them connect with them and use these people empower them to do what oftentimes we cannot do because of the demands of our married lives okay that's what I'm encouraging you to do let me end with the scripture James the first chapter James writes this he says religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless wow what is that what could it possibly be pure of what would God accept as pure and faultless religion is to look after orphans and window' widows in their distress I have to understand this is 2000 years ago people didn't live as long as we live you realize that every year just the flu would come through and kill thousands of people right you know how many of you're aware of history but these diseases and stuff people dropping like flies it was very common to have widows and widowers you know and some of them were very young the Bible taught there's a whole section in the New Testament about how to deal with the young widows why because these are girls their 20s and 30s they're already without a husband and have kids why the dude died got the flu got you know busted his foot somewhere I got an infected and poisonous system and he's dead you know I mean this is one of the greatest things he says you can do is to look after these people in their distress now we don't have widows like that today because thankfully we don't die from some of the dumbest things on earth thank God for that we all tend to live a very long life but our version of widows and orphans today's is pretty much the people who are single moms and we get it because the divorce and stuff in their life but they still like these are in distress life is extremely hard for them you know by reaching out to them try to make their lives a little bit easier free them up maybe to do things that you quite frankly don't have the time to do I just think there's a great asset don't just ignore the pull on your heart and write it off is I can't I get that you can't I'm in that category with you most of the time I cannot do what I would like to do but you know what I can write a check for the other guy so he can do what I cannot do or I can step up and volunteer take care of their kids or something somehow something in my life that I can do to make it easier for them if we would think in those terms I think we would start to utilize more of the assets finish that word the assets and not just the anyway anyway you know I'm saying utilize all this stuff so we can have the biggest impact we can on the lost and dying world I'm done let's have our Usher's come and I get ready to serve Communion and our musicians can come back up the single people in our churches quite frankly especially young single people they should be having the time of their lives we do this right we should be able to send them in all kinds of trips all over the place it shouldn't be misery for them to try and raise $1,200 so they can go to Africa or to Costa Rica or something like that and the minute one of our single guys in this church says hey man I got you see a table out there we're trying to raise money for a trip man so much money should everybody just throw in a bunch 100 bucks here 50 bucks days boom you should just happen from right away they should be having a blast going all over the place winning souls touching lives why because they can these are the guys that when there's a horrible disaster like an Katrina or something like that make it possible these young guys know will underwrite you you go down there we'll pay all your bills for ten days to two weeks or whatever it's a great way for us to change the world by using these people who have the ability and the time they don't have the money we got the money let's help them let's empower them let's take advantage of this great asset that we have sadly single people too far often are failed to be recognized appreciated and empowered in our churches oftentimes they feel out of place because they're not married let's be careful not to let's continue to celebrate marriage but let's celebrate all of life we can do it we're getting ready to take communion this is where we focus on God's grace and mercy in our lives he died on that cross for us 2,000 years ago so that we could have forgiveness of sins so why we're here today this is what it's all about we're going to pray a prayer together where we kind of just ask God to clean us up for mistakes and sins that we've dealt with over the last week but maybe you're here and you've never really ever in your life truly surrendered your heart to Jesus maybe you're visiting for the first time pray this prayer with us it's a great way for you to take your first steps of faith to really begin to experience God in your life let's pray this together say dear Jesus I believe you are the son of God that you love me so much you went to the cross and you took my punishment I ask you to forgive me of my sins help me to lay up treasures in heaven as I surrender myself to you amen

Channel: Mark Gungor

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Id: VXVUJC6Ryv8

Length: 38min 40sec (2320 seconds)

Published: Thu May 12 2011