Mark Gungor: The Bead System For Sex (Randy Robison / LIFE Today)

hi I'm Randy Robinson this is life today TV I'm here with Pastor Mark Ganga from celebration church in Green Bay Wisconsin and he's got a new book called battle over yes the battle over rules and he's going to talk about that on life today check that out at life today org but for this particular interview you're fortunate enough to be watching the bonus interviews where we can go out of the bounds a little bit we're going to discuss the topic that was rejected for the broadcast show because it was just a little over the lines and I've got a prop here we're gonna talk about and I did not tell in this we're gonna talk about the bead method yes this is your own this is your this is really actually pitch that to your I didn't know that yeah we got down they said no we're not gonna discuss that yeah so we are okay good so tell me just what is going let's pull this out and so this has now we're gonna say the word sex but that as much as we're gonna say so don't have any heart attacks this is not gonna get very graphic to say the least in fact I we have a book that goes with it open it up but it's not here you didn't steal that one right you just I guess but anyway and and I tell people look this is just about that sex is important okay you know what I tell in a marriage relationship it's not graphic if you don't know how to have sex and you read that book you still won't know okay this is just about the making about priority in in marriage all right okay now here's the problem in the beginning if a relationship well back up it every in most relationships you have one person who tends to be way more interested in sex than the other with a guy usually guy but not always sometimes it's the other way around I mean it's quite stunning to watch but in the beginning it doesn't seem that way because the person who's not as interested has this artificial boost in interest because of just all the emotions and the endorphins and stuff like that but after a while things settle down one stays very interested and the other one is not quite as interested so it really becomes about you know when we do this you know couples have this big debate about when and how and I just tell people look it's really important that you stay sexually active it's an it's important for the marriage I mean it's that's what kind of I always tell people look marriage fundamentally is a sexual contract now women who are very spiritual they don't like that you know but it is I mean didn't we explain that when you say I do it means I do you you do me we don't do anybody else that's what the I do mean it is about sex Paul wrote this is the Bible now the reason to get married as far as he wrote the only reason although I'm sure there's always other reasons he's fundamental argument was if you're not interested in sex don't do it don't get married it'll take away from your attention from serving Christ 100% okay but if he says if you burn which means if you have this big sexual desire the only way to fix it is to get married that was a purpose for sexual fulfillment all right now there's other elements to it so but I'm just saying fundamentally that was his argument okay so to say that marriage is fundamentally a sexual contract seems very odd but it really is that's it's always been about that people say you know no brother you know it's about being one the spirit one of them without even one of the most intimate things a man and women can do is to pray together I don't think so I can pray with anybody I'd only get naked with one all right so that is it is key it is fundamental so it needs to be taken care of it needs to be dealt with the question is how how often how do we communicate about this and again you got people with two different needs to this approach so how do we communicate I tell in the book and I don't say this to insult men because I hate these people were certain salting men with you know marriage stuff always placating to the ladies but anyway I don't say this an insult but when it comes to sex men are like three-year-old toddlers that have to go potty now have you ever dealt with a three-year-old who tells you he has to go potty when a three-year-old tells you he has to go potty he's not suggesting get around to it you know maybe you know later this afternoon when he got enough I mean when he says he's got to go potty means right now alright but women don't understand about men is when a man suggests he wants to have sex with his wife he's not suggesting when you can get around to working out later in the week he's literally suggesting right now the problem is as most women don't feel like having sex right now and you so you get this tension going and most people work through but something it gets out of control and the arguments people get bitter and angry at each other in a spirals out of control so I met this lady about a year ago and she talked about this problem in their marriage and they felt like their marriage she felt like the marriage was getting colder and colder and a lot of bitterness and resentment was particularly over this issue and she was talking to her mom about it and how she say look you know it's really important to man and I can so anyway just happened to be it was his 40th birthday and she totally forgot she hadn't gotten him anything so like two days before whatever it was she realized oh my goodness I didn't get him for anything so she says to him that the last is kind of off the top of her head she says I don't hate you for your birthday he goes watch she says I'm giving you 40 days of sex and he thought cool so he goes to bed she's singing Oh Lord what have I done Oh waiter from the emergency room so she's freaking out you can't just backpedal right so she has this brilliant idea on his birthday she gave him this little bag with 40 little red beads in it and he goes what's this she oh those are your days of sex as well how does it work well first of all when you feel like you need that all you have to do is drop this and my little bead catcher and when any of you do I guarantee you within 24 hours I'll be a sure thing well he goes cool the best varieties right so okay so they started doing this thing she calls I heard a little beat catcher so whenever and a guy can tell you know when it's coming on you're going crazy okay before you have to start begging or whatever he would just drop a little bead and then with him 20 but she said a really interesting happened something she never expected as soon as he would drop that bead he immediately began showing me the best version of himself and she would start flirting back with him and now the good news is he knows he gets to win he's not going to get rejected but that's what guys always fear right so there's none of this bitter so they started having this playful thing like that she says it absolutely transformed their marriage and she started sharing us with other women who started doing the same thing and the testimony of how it saved their marriage it's just a simple way of communicating you know your kids don't know what it means nobody knows what it means it's just it was by your been something just taps a little bee and she sees okay okay and then it's up to her now when you know what the environment whatever it's totally under her bumper but now she knows this is an important thing yeah and they start communicating about this thing and all of a sudden makes something that's can be a big fight something that's fun so we started we wrote this book together and we have these little things called the bead method comes with a little bag people say well why is there 40 of them we can't just give him one buried the backyard like a squirrel you know pull it out for a special occasion it speaks of abundance 40 is a good biblical number okay and then it was 40 days and nights of temptation I think like a flood anyway so they got these numbers these beads they drop this and then BOOM now you know sometimes women say well what if he's being a real jerk oh that's great all you got to do is this now I said you have no idea what that does for a man okay you girls know how sometimes you can get really upset and he doesn't know that you're upset how can you not tell I tell you you do this he walks in he knows something's wrong oh very clear you could talk the issue to because he wants this like that yeah okay and that's all it is is a fun little way of communicating something that can be very problematic it's a way that often takes away this big question of when how and where and stuff but without question it's very very important and I was you know point out to women because women are like it they're so in the health stuff you know vegetables salads and fried squirrel brains or whatever all the different things are they going they go all this you know watch dr. oz on TV and they're all into this okay so they're very health conscious now I point out to them in my conferences that very few things in the health field has studies that always agree I don't even seen these studies one minute say if you drink coffee it's gonna kill you all right and the next if you don't drink coffee it'll kill you and if you drink coffee you'll live forever right you got this wildly I just saw it this is like two weeks ago had a study came on I was not a Europe or something like that or they said exercise I'm not saying I said this is what they said exercise has nothing to do with that you lose weight which I mean so they have their evidence so he got these people are you in your bag they said there's only depends on diet so everybody's got these arguments I said there's very few things if there's anything that ever all the studies agree on except for one and that's when it comes to sex every study ever done on sex says that people who are sexually active are healthier they are happier they experience less physical pain in their body have less mental stress in their heads and literally will live years longer than people who are not sexually active I tell women all the time if I had a pill indoors my doctor eyes where every study ever done said if you take this pill it'll make you happier healthier less physical pain less mental stress and guaranteed to live years longer you know these chicks they light up for hours of buying that stupid pill okay what I'm trying to say you already have this in your life sex isn't this horrible burden or whatever it's life-giving it's always intended to give money in every study again every study on it shows those the same exact results there's nothing but positive so I try to encourage them look this is a positive thing it's a good thing and it's not really even so that a lot of them don't want to have see what a lot of it has to borrow that is over this fight when when when and now that misses and people start getting mad at each other and then they get in all kinds of nasty and I you know if couples don't be careful they can get into a situation where the bitterness builds and it just robs him I don't know if you've seen this movie uh Hope Springs have you seen this with Meryl Streep and tiny Lee Jones yeah it's kind of a chick flick women I like it it's very depressing you know but it's this really dark movie you really need our rent this movie because it's gonna be some of you if you don't change it's really accurately done of a woman who has a husband who will never touch her and it starts on this really dark and you know what's this problem and you know they're going to counseling and finally it comes out that she had started it cuz I was always too busy and all this kind of stuff well then he just gets bitter and angry alright so in the end she's the one who loses anyway she winds up married to a guy who doesn't ever want to touch it's really a depressing movie but it's really accurate and I'm serious you girls Auto Rentals me you like Meryl Streep we rent this movie because this was gonna be them if they don't stop you can't just unplug here's one of the problems with Christianity and it's gonna sound really weird from a Christian program or the pastor people who love God here's the problem with Christianity because we believe Jesus can fix anything we tend to live carelessly that's our problem so people literally live their lives Kerris carelessly they don't pay attention for their relationship their husband their wife well these are well Jesus will fix it later and then later people come with very damaged lives and then pastors that we spend hours trying to unscramble these eggs and I will say Jesus will forgive anything and if you have enough faith here there's the problem with the marriage deal is there's two people involved and there's a line that God will not cross and it's called free will if God would cross the line of free will everybody would be saved right but he won't do it so that's why he can't just fix it all later so in your marriages in your relationship you need to pay attention because all this damage will build and we think well someone just pray for me it'll all get fixed later and that's generally not happens we're being careless so I encourage young girls in particular you know pay attention this is an important thing it's not a sight men are wired this way particularly men it's not because we're sick disgusting perverts we're men and God wired me and it's really the number one reason men get married is for sex I mean I'll say weren't for that get a dog right you know hang out with your buddies you know what I'm saying there's all kinds of ways of you know you want prayer partners you have anybody for prayer prayer you want to serve God you have all kinds of Peter there's a million different things the number one reason for man in particular is for this physical need to be met and then when it starts getting neglected then the communication breakdown and once a person starts feeling you cross a line or they quit asking when your husband crosses the line where he quits asking you think it's good for you this is not good for you you're gonna basically in your 50s and 60s why not married to a man who never touches you and it's like you're married your cousin at this point and people always say you know pastor's great that you do these marriage things for young couples the problem is that young couples it's the older ones the divorce rate in people in their 50s and 60s is shooting up like crazy and eighty prouder of you knows eighty percent of all divorces filed in America are fraud by women it's not men eighty percent women who feel cheated who feel robbed they're not getting the passion and all this other stuff that you want but unaware that she helped to create often timeout always it's not always her father's answer fault but in a lot of these situations he helps to create the very scenario in that has played out in that movie where she's married this guy and you know how many people sue the kids leave the house they look at each other there's strangers at this point most guys are okay with it they've just gotten used to however it is but then she starts resenting it so I tell women they want to pay attention this because this will come back to haunt them and bite them if they don't and all we did with this has come up with a fun simple way for couples to be able to communicate about something that is really so important it's done without pressure and without nastiness and it's a kind of a keep fun thing that just you and her know about so this one goes back home for me okay I need to get to the book I'm sure we've got it around here so okay but that's the important part um if people want to order this and the book any other books where do they follow my website last year wait calm okay from my book laugh your way to a bitter marriage or Margaret calm either one okay but thinking on laughter wait calm they'll see that on there and now this is help the testimonies that have come in are quite stunning of people and all it does is it takes what is always an argument into something now that's that's just fun cool thank you for sharing with us thank you [Music]

Channel: lifetodaytv

Views: 193,424

Rating: 4.8741922 out of 5

Keywords: life today, james, robison, christian, television, tv, interview, Bead System, Mark Gungor, better sex

Id: M9Zxh881OR4

Length: 15min 44sec (944 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 29 2015