I'm Glad the Snyderverse is Dead

there are a lot of cinematic universes and they all vary wildly in quality from film to film think Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts think the Star Wars films you personally like and the Star Wars films you don't personally like think the infinity Saga and Ant-Man 3 the entirety of the spum is bad and if you don't know what that is you need to catch up on your weekly Planet DC has had a rocky relationship with movie universes lately until they brought James gun in and decided to reboot everything no one really knew what was and what continuities were continuing who was involved and what the future looked like I don't want to talk about the entire dce EU today though I just want to focus on the most polarizing part of it the part that started it all the Snider verse before we start these are incredibly iconic characters that we're going to be talking about Batman Superman Wonder Woman Lex Luther they all have Decades of media behind them not to mention dozens of movies in very recent memory already now I haven't read any DC Comics nor have I watched any of the animated shows so I don't exactly have a deep understanding of these characters don't get me wrong I've seen a lot of movies about them Chris Nolan's Trilogy Christopher reev Superman the Batman I've played the Arkham Trilogy and most importantly I've seen Batman and Robin so I've seen other depictions of these characters that I imagine and am informed have significant Crossover with their comic counterparts but I don't know everything that means my perspective is likely to be more similar to a typical theater goer give or take a few pieces of media I won't give any judgment too early but Snider's interpretations of these iconic and Incredibly beloved characters is contentious he directed three films for his SN verse Man of Steel Batman vers Superman dawn of Justice and Zack Schneider's Justice League the decisions he and the other members of the creative teams made on those films had significant influence on other DC EU projects as well for inance in if Schneider's characters had lived Beyond his involvement with them other directors and writers would have had to continue with his character decisions or risk Suffering The Wrath of the internet due to both the dreaded break in Cannon or continuity and because Snider has incredibly loyal fans in fact his fans are so loyal they created a film that's not a joke Zack Snider's Justice League would not exist if it weren't for hundreds of thousands of people tweeting and calling upon Warner Bros to let finish his vision so Snider had to step down from directing Justice League initially because of a family tragedy it's not my place to delve do deeply into this but obviously that is awful for everyone involved and my heart goes out to Zach and his family he stepped down during post- production then Jos Weeden came in and reshot a bunch of stuff to adhere to what Warner Brothers wanted the film released people hated it and Jos Weeden is a douchebag piece of [ __ ] that same year fans understand ly disappointed by the terrible film called for Warner Brothers to release Snider's version somehow using the hashtag release the SNY cut this continues and the Snider fans get louder and louder actually rallying outside Warner Brothers Burbank offices the dogs so the cast and Snider himself get involved seeing that the movement is huge and presumably also being dissatisfied with weeden's rubbish cut then Warner Bros throws $70 million at it Zachary shoots some stuff finishes a bunch of effects red do some CGI and editing and they Chuck it up on HBO Max it does really well the fans loved it the critics thought it was at least better than Jos weeden's what a tremendous achievement in bullying look at how this pack of ravenous ghouls attacked and harassed these poor Warner Brothers Executives they didn't want to release it they weren't going to until the bullying made them do it okay so obviously we can all agree that war Brothers suck and not all of the fans were doing that I'm being factious but some of them genuinely did harass people for a movie they hadn't seen and didn't know existed for a long time the release the SN cut movement was actually successful now I'm not here to talk about the toxic super fans I just want to set the scene for this Cinematic Universe of three films so far and lay down some groundwork I'm going to be talking about each film in detail and then about the wi univers universe and how it exists in the internet Zeitgeist I'm not going to nitpick every little detail just to drag it out to like 6 hours I'm not merer thank God okay you twisted my arm I'll do a little bit of nitpicking but only cuz it's really easy and really fun I only have one more thing to add before I start I'll be very upfront I I don't like this I don't like Zack Snider's films I don't like Zack Snider's film making I think his Visual and directorial style is repulsively ugly I always say it's better to have a style even if that style is bad than to not have one at all but I would happily take David Yates and his Bland unoriginal boringness over whatever Zack Snider's film making style is any day of the week does that make me biased yes does that make any of my criticisms any less valid or accurate No with that out of the way let's do this so this is the best of the three hands down it's a coherent cohesive story with the main character we can get emotionally invested in it has a definable beginning middle and end Henry caval is a fantastic Superman his acting isn't anything to write home about in this film but his embodiment of the character is perfect he looks and exudes Superman whenever he's on screen this one is also very light on Zack Snider signature disgusting visual Style with almost no slow-mo no weird Zoomin on baffling L unimportant details just a wash of gray across most of the shots that make it seem less realistic and more is my monitor broken all right that's the good stuff I have to say let's do some nitpicking shall we Zack begins Clark's origin in the most unimaginative place possible his literal birth Rusty does his best human impression Rusty does his best acting impression ah wouldn't be a Zack Snider action scene if I knew what the [ __ ] was happening on screen Krypton is is ugly as [ __ ] is it a product of Zach thinking comic books are inherently childish and believing adults want dark and gritty reimaginings of characters and stories every time who knows maybe it's a coincidence maybe he has a deep respect for all of these characters we may never know Rusty does his best Hayden impression it's been said before but these are just floating [ __ ] how did no one notice this was this intentional what is this first hamfisted Jesus reference we're done measuring dicks oh my God lowest Lane said dicks this universe is so gritty and realistic Jonathan Kent's death is really dumb but everyone's already talked about it so we'll move on second awful Jesus reference you asked for the alien didn't say anything about one of our own n mate he's standing right next to you look he's looking down like he's guilty for not revealing himself he's thinking about Mars or something Zach planned him to be Martian Manhunter all along third Jesus reference this midair fight looks terrible as most midair superhero fights do it's weightless and boring and almost entirely CGI okay nitpick section over I told you to be quick so some of these nitpicks are more important than others but everything I've included so far kind of falls under the momentto moment umbrella apart from the Jesus metaphors they permeate the entire universe so my main complaint about this film is that it's boring even worse than that Superman is boring he's Bland and boring and stilted and basically a sponge for his two dad's constant advice I know I said is the best one and the most coherent but that's not saying much because it's still all over the place paced badly a tonal roller coaster filled with telling and not showing and plagued by awful dialogue all right so the pacing we first see Henry caval 19 and 1/2 minutes into this superhero movie that's fine I guess we all have to see his origin again but it's definitely a sign of things to come from this universe there are also so many flashbacks why didn't you spend any of that 20 minutes at the start setting up your main character it was only Exposition and showing us the villain these flashbacks interrupt the flow quite a bit after a while and they overstay their welcome this film also beats us over the head with its ideas way too much everything is overexplained why not show us this villain stuff why give us four runs of Clark saving people then being told he's a dumbass and Humanity isn't ready when we could be seeing more important [ __ ] we have to have explained to us later many of the pacing issues here boil down to focusing on the wrong things and not trusting the audience to Intuit Exposition these problems don't [ __ ] the film but they do make it frustrating at points in the runtime you had over 2 hours and we waste so much time on Superfluous detail the dialogue is a lot harder to forgive it's so hamfisted and unnatural it makes me wonder how the actors even said it without cringing Harry come on it's me we're talking about I'm a poiter priz winning reporter God I don't even have that much to say other than are these writers allergic to subtlety the only dialogue that stood out to me as good was this section with Jonathan Kent they hurt you you know the can't it's not what I meant I me know you all right every other scene with parken should have been like this it's quick it shows what Clark can do and chooses not to it makes him human and it emphasizes that physical pain isn't the issue at stake for him what's the S stand for on my world it means Hope on your world mate your world is Earth you've literally never left it since you got here when you were an infant stop swinging this pendulum of human and alien and just [ __ ] choose one choose human it's the correct choice and the only one that makes sense he's a human dude that brings me to Clark and his character Arc well it's kind of a reverse character Arc I just wanted to help I know you did but we talked about this buddy you're supposed to use your powers to kill Clark to kill not to save with great power comes great murder that's what I always say what was I supposed to do just let him die maybe bro what what don't you wish Clark had landed one Farm over you were sent here for a reason you were sent here for a reason but not to save lives if you ever save another life I'll kill you myself ah good on you Clark you did Jonathan Kent Proud by snapping that neck finally you've learned to use your powers for good good killing this will absolutely make the human race ready to see you for the force of Hope and Justice and goodness that you really are so we have a bunch of flashbacks showing us that Clark wants to save people he wants to do good to be a hero to use these Powers the best way he can by the end he learns nothing from his father except that he needs a secret identity and he stops saving people as an adult seriously he doesn't dismiss his father's advice and warnings and make the most of his heroic opportunities he does the bare minimum Zord and his goons come to Earth and start absolutely wrecking house right he and clar fight and they completely tear up Metropolis knocking over buildings vaporizing entire office office floors presumably murdering thousands of innocent people how does Clark's clearly defined and overexplained need to save people playing to this terrifying situation well he saves that one guy from a helicopter then um well I guess he oh he saves Lois Lane then yeah that's it I'm serious he saves one random guy murders a bunch of people saves lowest Lane then goes right back to murder you think that's unfair it's it's made very clear that this fight won't end until one of them dies Zod even says that he wants to chase Superman and kill him so why the [ __ ] would Superman waste time in Metropolis when he could just fly to space when they eventually do it it totally works and it's only in the train station that Zod starts killing people specifically to torture Clark seriously even if his number one priority wasn't get this insanely powerful genocidal Maniac away from the city it should have probably been something closer to I should minimize civilian casualties then let's just keep punching Eh this betrayal of Superman doesn't just contradict the original character it contradicts heroic protagonists in general he destroys the city while fighting Zod when we see clear evidence that he absolutely can lead him away he saves a grand total of two people one in each battle when he clearly has the speed and awareness to save more and he inadvertently kills thousands he spends way more time wailing on kryptonians than he does doing anything heroic it's cool to see powerful superhumans hit each other for a bit but so much of this film has been Clark learning how to use his abilities to help and save people then Jonathan kept telling him not to but him ultimately deciding he wants to anyway then in the third act it all gets thrown out the window Zach is far more concerned with how hard Superman can punch than he is with how much good Clark Kent can do obviously this is supposed to be a very different Superman and I I can accept that but it has implications that Zach seems determined to ignore he's allowed to break things and that leads directly into the next movie but how does he feel about it does he struggle with this destruction does he help Metropolis repair and rebuild to make this right does he learn anything from this film does he feel bad for the innocent civilians that died as well as Zod for a film that's already over 2 hours the ending is so rushed we don't get to explore any character response to these catastrophic events until the next film so there's a lot of heavy lifting to do in bvs I guess we'll see how that goes so here we have the first pillar of this universe Superman in many ways he's the Lynch pin of Zach's whole plan and he is blander than a bonian ketchup white bread sandwich he has so little agency they did a fair job at making him feel empathetic but spoiler alert that doesn't last long and his struggles never get more complicated then should I kill this bad guy also what does he want does he want to be a God to humanity does he want to be a normal guy and use his powers to save people does he want to be a hero and an inspiration to the masses I don't know and neither does Zach Superman is barely a character in his own solo film now I feel like I have to say again I have no inherent loyalty to the character of Superman I'm not an avid comic book fan and I haven't had a childhood connection like other people have so when I criticize it I promise I'm coming from a place of neutrality well neutrality about Superman it's not just bad because it's not my Superman it's bad on its own merits and boring did I mention boring well at least this film did get one thing across for some reason I can tell it's very important that Clark's mother's name is Martha okay we should move on floating [ __ ] so I watched the extended edition that was my choice and I stand by it but my first note here is holy [ __ ] this is 3 hours long Man of Steel was already long but this is intense 3 hours is an absolutely huge film whichever way you slice it so it better justify its exorbitant length with some engaging plot and character development so up top you probably all know what I'm going to say about this film it was hyped to the nines it was going to challenge the MCU for the superhero Throne it was going to be the biggest hero event of the decade and then it released and it was bad and guess what it still is the extended edition didn't improve the film it just made it longer this is a train wreck and I'm not going to pretend otherwise if you like this that's fine I'm not going to try and convince you your opinion is wrong but I would love to see how much of this video you agree with at the end I guess we'll start with what I like about it first off this intro is insanely cool it's one of the most badass Batman scenes I've ever watched It's such a Showcase of what's to come even if it's a total [ __ ] lie and it gives a fairly good idea of why Bruce is terrified of Superman as everyone always says Jeremy Irons is great as Alfred I also agree with the praise for the Batman voice changer it sounds badass you can understand what he's saying and it totally makes sense in Universe I love the part where Clark can hear Alfred in Bruce's earpiece but he has to pretend he can't some nice tension shame it comes 50 minutes into the film but I'm getting ahead of myself this punching SE quence is sick okay positivity time over let's get into the nitpicks there are a lot more than last time but I'll try to be quick we start with Batman's origin again and it's slow and played out but at least it's done in Montage form it has our first use of slow-mo so that's exciting zoom in on the pearls falling down a drain in slowmo also the Montage is edited like [ __ ] also why is this the intro to the film and not that sick shot of Bruce running into the falling city are you a terror General [ __ ] pullit a prize winner right here Jesse Eisenberg is deeply terrible as Lex Luther every line he delivers makes my neck want to crawl off my shoulders also every line is written terribly but we'll get to that all the biblical metaphors of which there are so many are way too heavy-handed already but then Lex just starts lampshading them too we get it please move on why is this scene here I know you're just setting up for justice league but you haven't given us enough of Superman Lois Batman or this world in general for anyone to be invested in this potential future yet also we already know Lois is the key Clark just said that in the other dream I soon Ezra Miller is a [ __ ] actor I hate this willhelm screen the Batmobile bouncing off Superman in slow-mo was kind of cool but the slow-mo shot of Superman just walking over after is lame and ridiculous ah just two guys refusing to talk like normal humans whose problems would probably be solved if they just talked like normal humans there an ambush for Superman the guys in Africa were killed by bullets why would Superman use a gun are you all overdosing on stupid pills now I haven't sat next to a giant jar of piss since I used to go to land parties but I'm willing to bet that it would smell a little more pungent than say peach te why does the Kryptonian ship just let Lex Luther take control of it why are there so many dream sequences in this film there are other ways to give audiences information Zack son of Krypton versus bat of Gotham oh it's so cringe dude every second he's on screen I have to fight to keep looking at the movie I have to go to Gotham to convince him to help me then why didn't you you had every opportunity this [ __ ] folder this folder full of cute little graphics for the metahumans and videos of them metah humaning might be the funniest joke Zack Snider has ever come up with it is so cont tried and lame and shoe haunt that I can't even begin to explain all the ways in which I hate it or I'll derail this video harder than Wonder Woman derails this movie God Aquaman looks so goofy I hate Batman's armor I know everyone loves it but I hate it it's too bulky it's too shiny and the eyes are goofy as hell you don't understand there's no time I understand okay so Clark steps towards Bruce and he's like you don't understand then instead of explaining anything he just launches him 30 m away why you said you came here to talk so talk to the man why are you just playing with him like this then after he lasers the guns when Bruce is just standing there waiting for him to come over great strategy by the way definitely couldn't have just snapped your neck if he actually wanted to kill you instead of using this period of Silence to explain like he was supposedly trying to earlier he just picks him up and throws him again if you're really worried about him pulling out more [ __ ] gadgets just hold him in place and talk to him like that it's so contrived you are Superman you can move faster than the speed of sound you know one of those smoke grenades just messed you up real good and you can see him reloading his launcher like 10 m away just take a casual stroll over and kick it out of his hands maybe or you could just explain what's going on hey isn't this from Titanic why was the spear there how is l was here it's been talked to death but this really is such a stilted line really you're going to call your mother by her first name when both her and your lives are in imminent danger ludicrous oh yeah and this whole scene in justification and realization is dog [ __ ] and reeks of Zack Snider's non-existent character understanding and writing abilities uh yeah man I remember the film that I'm currently watching I don't need a big slow-mo flashback to when your parents died I was there you wanted your life for hers then why didn't you say that wait they just left Lois there with the spear okay I'm a friend of your sons no sir the [ __ ] you are not ooh a big CGI monstrosity is the final boss of this film how unique and exciting God this film is ugly lowest Lane is better with a spear than any of the other three you can throw it super easily like it's basically what it's made for even Batman could have thrown it all Clark had to do is take it to him if he somehow didn't want to do it himself oh my my God the origin of Lex Luther's boldness that deserves some silent dramatic close-ups what's in that casket CU it ain't Superman's body we just saw that his body is with Marthur and Lois I think Jesse Eisenberg must have stored some of his very limited acting ability in his wig because this last scene in the prison where he's Bor is more cringe and painful to watch than any other scene in this miserable experience of a movie okay npi's done sorry I promise I kept it as quick as I possibly could I left out more than you could ever know to trim that section down and it still wound up being pretty long so we've ended up with some very different knit picks and you may notice that I've criticized the visuals and aesthetic a lot I would say that this film feels very much like classic Snider Man of Steel was remarkably reserved in regards to slow motion over long CGI close-ups and Zoomin or needlessly gritty action choreography bvs however is stuffed full of them there's enough slow motion here to make Gavin free sweat and it's often used in the most bafflingly goofy ways that derail otherwise intense sequences speaking of Snider isms the whole film has a stylistic color grading that makes my eyeballs itch this is a profoundly ugly film Doom's day is hideous the effects from his attacks are cartoonishly bad and to make it worse they're so chaotic that you can't even see what's happening whenever they're on screen another part of Zach's aesthetic I think hinders not only this film but the whole universe is his biblical imagery it's over the top it's overused and its insulting lack of subtlety makes me wonder who Zach thinks his audience actually is does he think his fans are stupid no one needs this theme beaten into them this much we get it it never stops too this universe is obsessed with making Superman into Jesus which I personally think has some interesting implications for the nightmare stuff down the road but we'll get to that actually no let's get to it right now there's a big dream sequence well there's several but I'm talking about Batman's dream of the future it's so dramatic much like everything else Snider ever does but it's also pointless is Batman prophetic is he just dreaming none of this means anything until several movies after this one anyway so it feels pretty self-important but it also doesn't change anything how has Batman Been Changed by this potential future he's using guns to murder people in this dream but is that any different to the present not really this sequence contributes to the film's egregiously poor pacing and it's choreographed like [ __ ] they all just take turns pointing their guns at Batman without shooting so he can beat them up but the only thing that actually means anything for our characters is Superman being evil he has the power to wipe out the entire human race and if we believe there's even a 1% chance that he is our enemy we have to take it as an absolute certainty who who is this this is such a terrible line and any compelling version of Batman definitely wouldn't say it he also wouldn't act on it plan for it sure but act on it no Superman is clearly trying to do good he's extremely powerful so when he messes up the consequences are somewhat larger but Batman intentionally kills way more people than Superman I know I made fun of Clark last film for accidentally 911 in thousands of people but in his defense he was the only one uniquely equipped to stop the Kryptonian invasion they tried to destroy the Earth Bruce should he have let them yes it's obviously awful that Superman's stupidity and inexperience affected so many people but Bruce didn't even try to reason with him or understand him or send him away or put contingencies in place for accidents like that happening again or turn his brain on at all he just decided like a caveman to use big green rock to kill strong man this line also brings me to another overarching problem with this film and the universe the dialogue I touched on it with Man of Steel but holy [ __ ] if that script was scraping the bottom of the barrel for dialogue this one is mining down into the core of the Earth are you a terrorist no no we did that one lane low in the morning low line slacks lowest Lane lowest Lane she's the king next category circles and round and round they go to find Superman you're letting him kill Mar no man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from Daddy's Fist and aom ations these lines are all delivered with the seriousness of a heart attack edgier than idan's war glaves of azoth but they are embarrassing to listen to so much dialogue appears to have been written with either a trailer in mind or just for the singular moment in which it was said without any thought of The Wider narrative implications she with you I thought she was with you what no dude you didn't why would you say this thankfully the the work day is over and the downtown core it's nearly empty this this one isn't just bad it's also contrived as hell speaking of contrivance this film is built upon it Snider and David es Goya seem incapable of writing these stories without relying on manufactured tension and unbelievable non sequitors to get events they need to take place to take place it's hard to describe just how contrived this plot really feels because cause and effect so rarely come into play and things just seem to happen according to a story board instead of legitimate character choices the simple idea of a film where Batman fights Superman was taken to such an extreme that it necessitated the mutilation and lobotomization of both characters they want Superman to be implicated in murders and mistrusted by the world so instead of running with just the Metropolis stuff they shoehorn in all of this [ __ ] about the killings in Africa where no one could ever reasonably believe Superman had anything to do with it they set up this whole Catch 22 with Martha Kent and Superman where he can't possibly save her he has to kill Batman instead okay well this might have been closer to believable if Lex hadn't fully explained his plan to Superman and told him his manipulating the two of them dude have you tried lying try something because now Superman can just go and tell him about what you've done but no no Marth has been kidnapped I better go kill this guy who fights crime slightly differently than I do this moves directly into the next plethora of contrivances that tie the entire Batman and Superman fight together Clark had more than enough opportunities to stop the fight and talk to Bruce or to do it before they even started fighting or just send him a [ __ ] text and he steadfastly refuses to do so there is no reason for Clark not to try harder to explain the situation except that they need to fight for the trailer the dumb [ __ ] spectacle and to keep this movie all dark and gritty then we get to the Martha scene the biggest contrivance in the entire film and possibly the entire universe Batman wants to kill Superman he's standing over him with the spear and he's about to deal the killing blow then some bloke says his mom's name Lois runs in somehow and he realizes that Superman is human too and does a complete 180 so you do know how to throw a spear this is the weakest character decision making I've ever seen it makes no sense it isn't grounded in anything we've previously seen and it relies on so many conveniences to happen in the first place first the fight has to get them to this exact building in this exact part of the city second Clark Kent has to mention his mother before his death third he has to call her by her first [ __ ] name before offering up any other information fourth Lois Lane has to come in at that precise moment out of nowhere to explain the comment and fifth Batman has to have been lobotomized before the start of the film I feel like I'm a broken record talking about all of these plot points that make no sense to anyone but the riters but it really kills the ver similitude this whole universe eventually devolves into a series of plot contrivances that make the audience ask why things are happening why does Superman care about Batman's actions so much why did Lex Luther piss in that jar why did someone at Lex Corp do the graphic design for the metahumans why did the US Army nuke doomsday when Superman already flew him into space why did Superman fly the spear instead of throwing it don't think these contrivances don't exist in Man of Steel either why did Clark let Jonathan Kent Die Why was Lois Lane even Man of Steel except as a plot device these may sound like momentary nitpicks but when you stack them up you see that so many plot points in this series have absolutely no connective tissue when the audience is forced to come up with their own flimsy explanations for these baffling story events then your story has not been established well enough which by the way is insane given the amount of exposition they try to stuff into these films another element of the snyderverse this film solidifies is tone man of steel set a certain tone and bvs really took it further it's so gritty and realistic and dark it's a very dark Universe no not that one unfortunately Zach thinks that dark means literally hard to see and also people die there's no Nuance here it's all aesthetic and surface level and a little childish just like the investigations in this movie take the Batmobile it looks really cool but it's a total murder machine it has mounted guns a big mounted gun and Batman uses it to kill so many people I know Batman killing gets talked about a lot but it's completely emblematic of this universe why does he kill because Zach thinks that's dark and gritty and therefore cool he also thinks it's realistic but we'll get to that later another great example is the warehouse scene everyone loves it it's okay and the choreography is cool but it's so unnecessarily brutal in fact that sort of sums up Batman in this film he's branding people he's smearing their brains on walls he's stabbing them he's shooting them he's blowing them up if they'd explored this in any way it might have been interesting but spoiler alert they don't mention it at all this tone appeals to a lot of people I understand that Nolan's Trilogy set a tone that was similar in many ways and adult comic fans naturally want to see stories aimed at adults unfortunately the contents of the story rarely deliver on the promise of the tone nor does the dialogue I'm not joking about the hard to see thing either this movie is literally so dark it makes it difficult to know what you're looking at some of the time we'll talk about the implications of this universe's tone later but for now just know that it's jarring with the characters they're using and it feels overdone to the point of parody everything drips with melodrama robbing genuinely dramatic moments of any weight so our second pillar of this universe Batman becomes a similarly Bland figure to Superman both before and after his big decision for most of the film we see Bruce refusing to engage his brain we don't see him being a detective we don't see him planning for anything other than murder and we don't see him engage with Clark in any way whatsoever after the Martha scene he flips on a dime and completely changes his outlook on both Superman and the world again he has no agency what does he want to kill Superman sure he didn't though he let him live okay this section was a lot longer than the first let's see how the next one goes oh wait this film is boring too it's 3 hours long and that's that's way too long there's another theme of this universe for you I'm [ __ ] bored watching this it takes so long for anything to happen Okay next movie billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions of hours of my [ __ ] time that's how long this movie feels I have never felt the passage of time quite as keenly as when I was watching this film I had to force myself to get to the halfway mark so I could pause it and watch the rest the next day and don't you dare come at me with this watch it in Parts over a week [ __ ] the parts have no resolutions by themselves that would make for a painfully unsatisfying experience so what do I like about Zack Schneider's Justice League uh Jeremy Irons is cool still no but seriously he is the best part of this 4our SLO steppen wolf looks [ __ ] sick I'm not meing this is is not just a huge Improvement on the 2017 version It's genuinely great his voice is badass too and he's an imposing presence whenever he's on screen the underwater scenes also look really good surprisingly so all of the cyborg backstory and emotional character development for him is compelling and engaging I really like cyborg as a character I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually love the Future Vision funeral Flash Forward scene until it gets to Superman and finally I like when Superman shows up to rock SE Wolf's [ __ ] it's fun to watch the team ups work well and my monkey brain enjoys the big punches and lasers is it nitpick time yet let's [ __ ] go I hate the aspect ratio I know it's artistic and Snider's Vision but that's [ __ ] and it's only like this to separate it further from Justice we this film literally starts with two entire minutes of slow-mo CGI [ __ ] no restraint no waiting also I just watched bvs this did not happen I don't have any notes about this other than it's all and takes way too long and makes me cringe the entire time it goes for over a minute straight every character intro is so slow and boring more slowmo for lowest Lane just walking in the rain is there anything Zach won't slow down for dramatic effect oh [ __ ] something's actually happening 18 minutes into the film my God that is a lot of shots for this suitcase do you reckon there's something important inside this might be a cool intro shot if we didn't get this God awful yodel that we subsequently hear every single time she's in costume on screen seriously watch through this film and try not to get unreasonably angry at her musical Motif I [ __ ] dare you also it's way too loud oh cool more yodling but it's pitch shifted up now and there's so much slowmo everyone kills so much in this film but not only that they kill so hard Wonder Woman's a terrorist get her boys no legit I know I'm doing the funny little nitpick part now but she just did the terrorists job for them he was beaten she could have just brutally dashed his brains against the wall like the other guys but no she blew up the whole building instead Zach you are an imbecile you okay princess um no you just killed a bunch of people then blew up a building I'm probably going into shock right now this should have been the opening scene if you're watching this film you've seen his other ones you know who the characters are we should have had shorter intros even if you don't know this is where the plot actually starts over 30 minutes into the film lab's all yours Howard 11:30 early night for you syus this dialogue is written like David eddings right side character intros it's a niche reference but it works this is ugly as [ __ ] we're still introducing characters and Powers 51 minutes into the film get on with it I hate the music in this film I don't dislike it it doesn't annoy me I actively despise it ah sick a flashback scene and Diana narrating we've just had an hour of exposition we don't need a dble whammy here too also galado is very bad she's just not a good actress dark side is a punk ass little [ __ ] he fails this hard then forgets about the planet that beat him and the anti-life equation what a [ __ ] idiot loser oh my Christ we're still introducing characters israa is awful and their version of The Flash is awful the [ __ ] slowmo poppy seed holy [ __ ] Zach has abs absolutely no shame this is the kind of shot I would design if I was making a parody of Zack Snider this whole section is bafflingly terrible the stilted acting the awkward attempts at humor the song Choice what is happening with this music n dude he's dead his brains are on the rock you want to scan his memories scrape them off the rock bro no [ __ ] way we are 80 minutes into this this film and we're still introducing characters yes it's Cyborg and he's cool but it's too little too late a better film would be nearing its finale by now or at least its third act this is part three and we haven't even got to act two what an insultingly literal portrayal of what silus is already describing have some trust in your audience Zach it's been over an hour of battering us with Exposition don't we deserve a break also his powers are too strong it's ridiculous that might be how it is in the comics I don't know but it's ridiculous my parents died in the Ws wait she's English I just learned something very interesting what is this act 2 starts an hour and 51 minutes into this movie oh my God holy [ __ ] stop the [ __ ] presses our heroes are about to actually do something and it's only taken us nearly 2 hours what are they going to do oh they're walking up some stairs in real time nice oh wow that's crazy there's a big powerful bad guy right there within sight threatening innocent civilians and cyborg has perfect control over his suit there's no malfunctions here I hope this continues to be a consistent and important part of his power set bad fight scene poor choreography too much slow-mo messy CGI and way too much yodeling you know a lot about these boxes makes you think yeah it makes me think you're addicted to stupid pills if you're about to accuse cyborg of working for them how do we know you're not working for them okay this transition to the Nazis finding the box is actually sick [ __ ] off that's that's just [ __ ] off I always tell people it's fine and good to like what you like regardless of what other people think but if you like this scene you need to get a brain scan immediately okay oh gee okay Barry what was that don't do that what's wrong with you it's my auto defense system it senses Danger get it to excuse me my man my my good sir but what in the godamn goofy ass [ __ ] are you talking about your suit was perfectly fine and functional and under your control when you saw Steen wolf we will talk more about this later no [ __ ] LOL where is the urgency he has all three boxes why are you all just standing here more Jesus imagery this Chase is torturous to watch there's so much slow-mo in this zoom in on the CGI bullet casing is insane that slowmo shot of all the heroes leaping towards something in a line didn't work for Age of Ultron and it doesn't work here God I despise how the flash runs let him come let the bastard come for what it's worth mirror's accent is horrendous I don't want to talk about Jared Leto's Joker but I will it's a hate crime against every member of the audience also I feel like he's doing Heath Ledger right I'll be the bigger man The Voice the inflections the little growl stop it stop this is terrible you're terrible and it's cringe I hate it I don't like it it makes me [ __ ] sick oo that's a weight off my chest now that was a lot of nitpicks but those of you who've seen the film will probably notice some gaps don't worry I promise we'll get to them so that's the whole serse done and dusted or current sniders am I all right let's take a look at some of the big complaints I had about the first film and see if they were fixed for this one or whether they've stayed the same or maybe got worse surely a Visionary filmmaker with so many Avid fans wouldn't make the same avoidable and heavily criticized mistakes this many times in a row let's talk about pacing the pacing has got worse and worse in each film Man of Steel bounced all over the place bvs and Zs JL are so BL bloated and over stuffed that an after dinim mint would make them explode it's only a waffer thing the pacing is so poor that it's genuinely impressive at 3 and 4 hours respectively they introduce so many ideas without paying them off or exploring them satisfactorily that it makes you wonder why the runtime was necessary at all it's all in service of an MCU style slate for innumerable future films but always at the expense of the current one just focus on telling a good story with fleshed out characters then introduce more and call forward to potential team ups and storylines why introduce Wonder Woman and Justice League in bvs to set up Justice League why introduce Martian Manhunter in the nightmare [ __ ] and Joker and Deadshot and Lex Luther breaking out of Arkham and dark side sending an armada to Earth in Justice League to set up for Justice League 2 stop standing in line for seconds while your food is getting cold on your plate 4 hours is a ridiculously long time it's unnecessary and it's both due to and results in very poor film making Zach knew it was releasing on HBO Max so he could make it as long as he wanted so he didn't bother to trim any of the ample fat and thus he ended up with they smogg as Board of disconnected and Superfluous scenes that don't add much to the stories or character or World interspersed randomly with actually important scenes that feel too few and far between the entire Trilogy feels incredibly self-indulgent and laborious to watch but there's definitely a gradient Man of Steel which people regard as the best of the three or at least I hope they do feels tighter there's fewer Snider isms because of course there is it's his first DC movie you don't go full mask off on day one bvs extended editions bloat stems from jamming in so many sisms but Justice League is built upon them Snider isms are the foundation of this movie it has to be because he wanted to separate his cut as much as possible from Jos Weeden so to change it he chucked in as much slowmo CGI close-ups edgy visuals and Jesus references as he possibly could until every action scene and many non-action scenes are stretched and St stuffed so full that removing enough of these awful stylistic decisions to make the film palatable for four entire hours is impossible okay what about the dialogue what a small group of reactionary terrorists makes you think how do we know you're not working for them just got to go faster than the speed of light far beyond the speed of light got to break the rule barrier I often wonder how many alternate timelines do you destroy the world because frankly you don't have the Coles to die yourself am I wait I'm so late I'm very oh hey buy hi can I help you yeah can I have a dozen red roses please oh hi Johnny I didn't know it was you here you go that's me how much is it it'll be $18 go keep the change hi doggy you're my favorite customer need I say more the dialogue is still bad in fact it like the pacing might have got worse in addition to being quite premium special edition limited release cringe the dialogue also does very little to differentiate the characters in any way other than superficially so much of Justice League feels like it was written by a teenager who never leaves their room except to visit Hot Topic much of bvs felt this way too but there's even more here it takes me out of the world that I was already finding it difficult to immerse myself in anyway and puts me squarely back into my Throne of Shame no one made me watch these why did I do this let's talk about the tone bvs was darker than Man of Steel Zack sn's Justice League actually has several moments where the tone feels less smothering don't get me wrong there's a lot of darkness in this film in both senses of the word but there are quite a few moments of Hope heroism and humor it feels less edgy for edginess sake than bvs and that might be because it's 4 hours so there's a lot of variance but I think Zach has actually improved the overall tone for this film good job except the nightmare stuff the nightmare scene in this film is the opposite of art the tone he tries to set is incredibly lame and he undercuts it with his choice of janky ass dialogue and unexplained contrivance oh [ __ ] the contrivances we talked about a lot in bvs and they've gone nowhere so Cyborg's suit it works fine with Steen wolf but the second Superman is threatening you it fires a rocket at him if it's about powerful people potentially threatening you then steepen wolf was about to kill an innocent man and Arthur was being pretty godamn threatening in the Batcave but fine if you're a stickler and you want to say that his suit can somehow determine the power levels of the being as well and it just detected Superman was more of a threat than Aquaman well that's [ __ ] too because it would know that a rocket wouldn't do [ __ ] this is a bald-faced hamfisted amateur contrivance that leads to an even bigger more moronic contrivance why does Superman fight them his default mode has never been let's kill everyone around me because they threatened me even when he was throwing Batman around last film he wasn't lasering him to to try to kill him just throwing him away cuz he took a few too many stupid pills seriously he's going ham and trying to kill everyone and the Army is shooting at him too he's like full on villain mode for no reason if coming back to life fundamentally changed him give us a good reason and if that then changes give us a good reason for that too he doesn't remember who he is only makes sense within the ridiculous contrivance of cyborg attacked first oh he remembers his fiance well then that all Mak sense actually it probably would have worked better if they'd changed Lois's name to Martha but n this is totally fine having Lois Lane be the lynchpin for this entire universe while her character has been boiled down to I love him so much I literally never get shown doing anything else except going to his memorial not even his grave is insane it's insulting to the character and to Amy Adams who is incredibly talented she's a plot device not a character who only exists in this film to be there when super man wakes up also Superman doesn't remember who he is but remembers Lois Lane I mean okay but why while we're on the topic of contrivance him just up and leaving because Lois is like just go man you don't know your own strength King is made so much worse when literal seconds later steppen wolf shows up nearby it's a real Lea HEI Jerome Flynn situation where they can't be in the same scene together but you really feel like they should be also if Superman doesn't remember things yet then why is he so willing to [ __ ] off anyway for all he knows these people are trying to kill him and he does nothing to investigate this if he does remember he should be mortified and apologizing to everyone and trying to sew up the people he lasered in half he only leaves because steepen wolf shows up Barry's entire character is contrived from his backstory and weak motivations to his completely consequen rule about not running faster than the speed of light to his ultimate ability that saves the day I hate The Flash I think watching the Solo movie would be literal torture for me and now the biggest contrivance of this film so in the big flashback sequence which is super out of place an hour into this film Dark Side gets his [ __ ] rocked then as I said earlier forgets about the planet that beat him and the anti-life equation it's over an hour later that these things get mentioned again Steen wolf discovers that the anti-life equation is here he brings this information to decide and he's like yeah we know of the Defiance what of it but Steen wolf says yo the thing dark side is obsessed with and wants to get more than anything and just happens to be like the most powerful thing in the Multiverse is here on Earth where y all were before where y all got beaten where this Defiance you all know about happened and desad doesn't say Obviously we know that instead he asks steppen wolf if he's certain he doesn't know [ __ ] so do you remember the Defiance or not if you do how do you not remember that it's Earth or ping the planet so you don't get destroyed again later if you do remember its Earth how do you not remember the anti-life equation if you do remember the anti-life equation what the [ __ ] are we doing general you know how the rebellion's been searching for the Death Star plans for ages and someone sealed them away in some secret impenetrable yes yes the mystery of the missing Death Star planes is well known all the thief Left Behind was an empty tupperware container well I just looked inside the Tupperware container and the plants were actually here all along are you certain yeah I mean look I know this is an oversimplification but based on the information within the actual movie there's really not that much difference between the scene I'm parodying and my parody itself I have turned 100,000 worlds to dust looking for anti-life looking for those who robbed me of my glory wait so you do remember that the Defiance was where the anti-life equation was you've searched over 100,000 worlds and destroyed them but not this one what is this who wrote this explanation if a story requires the Ultimate Universe spanning villain to be this stupid then it's a rubbish Story the argument for this decision goes like this there's billions of worlds in the Multiverse and it's been thousands of years and dark side isn't infallible okay that's actually not a terrible explanation but it doesn't exist in the film and while I say it's not terrible it's not great so much weight is placed on both the Defiance and the anti-e equation so the audience has no reason to think that the villains wouldn't do literally everything in their power to remember where those things are Zach wants to set a mature tone throughout these whole films but fumbles the bag by making it goofier than it is mature you can kill as many people as you want but that doesn't make something mature or serious you can make your characters do violent or gritty or [ __ ] up things but that doesn't make them any more realistic maturity in a story comes from the handling of complex topics and themes or posing a genuinely thought-provoking question to an audience and carrying it to a satisfying or equally thought-provoking conclusion Snider is incapable of handling topics any more complex than what if Superman was bad Snider is incapable of posing questions that provoke any thoughts Beyond why did that happen or why is this in slow motion realism in a story comes from cause and effect consequences Snider is incapable of creating a logical flow of cause and effect his characters betray all reason at every turn to jam themselves into the contrived plots they barely exist in he is incapable of creating and maintaining situations that feel grounded believable or justified by the previous events of the story for example Superman not explaining Lex's plan to Batman cyborg attacking Superman Dark Side forgetting about the Earth dark side not sending an aada to Earth immediately parkent dying Superman dying flash running faster than the speed of light none of these things happen as a consequence of earlier events and none of them lead logically onto anything important in a natural way and while we're on the subject of Superman's death it's nothing it happens for a dumb reason we don't get enough time with the character to Really Care the time that we get is wasted with a nonsensical overdramatic plot that forecasts his biblical sacrificed harder than The Passion of the Christ and then it gets undone like 5 minutes later no he doesn't get resurrected 5 minutes later but Snider has that little Pebble hovering scene that tells you immediately that he's going to come back in the next film no tension it also doesn't fundamentally change him in any way except [ __ ] him off for long enough to develop some artificial tension in the final fight of Justice League so I talked earlier about the release the SN cut fan movement now I don't believe Snider fans are any worse than toxic Star Wars fans or brain rot anti-work Maniacs but there is an argument to be made that the release the SN cut movement being accepted and rewarded directly led to harassment and bullying from people that then carried it on to # restore the serse I believe Zach deserved to have his vision realized I don't know if they should have thrown 70 million at it but I'm glad this film exists I hate it I don't think it's very good for its length but I'm still glad exists because nearly everyone involved with its creation really wanted it to be realized especially after Jos Weeden was being such a massive dick I don't think this universe deserves to continue it won't it basically can't it never would have but I wouldn't want it to anyway there are plenty of people who do however there's an entire petition to restore the serse it showed up in 20121 and over 78,000 people signed it it basically threatens Warner Brothers and tells people to spam Twitter good stuff there's this article on The Daily Planet from Jam trakia a Super Fan again from before Zack Snider's Justice League even released there were posts on Reddit and there still are to this day people are still huffing copium that the serse will return fans paid for billboard trucks and Banners to show # restore the serse in the hopes that Warner Brothers would see it and I guess just choose to throw money down a toilet they tweeted about it they tweeted about it a lot now there were and still are a lot of toxic people showering James gun and other Warner Bros and DC higher-ups with hate over the reboot of this universe there's no denying it they throw hate at the actors they throw hate at the new Superman reveal as if heaps of people didn't hate Henry Cav's first look too it's not the whole fan base but it happens they're stuck in the past they're obsessed and they can't let go they want Netflix to somehow buy the SN as if that's something that is both actually possible and viable they think James gun's new DC films will fail and then Warner Bros will crawl back to Daddy Zach to suck at his sweet murder milk the fans have done some good with these campaigns it would be irresponsible not to say that they've raised money for suicide prevention they helped bring Jos weeden's awful actions to light and they helped a huge cast and crew realize A Creative Vision that is good but it doesn't erase the bad and it doesn't mean that this continuation of the restore the snse movement isn't batshit insane Zack Snider is happily making other terrible movies for Netflix they ask him if he'll try and get the SN of Earth revived they ask him if he'll continue it at Netflix guys Netflix doesn't want it if you don't restore the sniders you will regret it mate if the sniders was so [ __ ] good I think everyone would be a little more invested literally you think Warner Brothers cares about anything other than how much money this stuff can make them if it was that good and compelling and better than all the new DC stuff they're rolling with that would probably be a better Financial bet and they would definitely go with that also that's such a toxic and cringe thing to say they'll regret it what are you going to do tweet some slurs at them record a YouTube video about how upset you are [ __ ] that's what I'm doing Zack Snider doesn't even want to keep doing this he's probably very tired of people asking him about it and tweeting at him and only being recognized for this one series of films just let the poor man play with his cameras and action figures in peace also the big question that I really have is what are you trying to restore what is this universe continuing this universe also means continuing with these versions of the characters gritty murderer Batman Broody one day away from destroying the world Superman dumbass impotent Dark Side cringe inducing Lex Luther you want this none of these problems are going to change and the original plan from Snider C sees many of them exacerbated these characters are so one note that their goals intentions and desires never extend beyond the scope of the film or sometimes the individual scene that they're in look at dark side he's set up as the ultimate villain in all of this he has powerful and threatening henchmen he has Steen wolf a strong foe in his own right well for everyone who isn't Superman desperate to get back in his favor he's so fearsome he's conquered hundreds of thousands of worlds All In Search of the anti-life equation I mean that's what he wants right well we see him get defeated like a little [ __ ] in the flashback when he sees the anti-life equation on Earth so if he wants it he'll regroup and come back and take it yeah well that doesn't happen he kind of forgot okay fine dark side and everyone around him all somehow remember the Defiance but forget where Earth is and that the anti-life equation is there sure there are a lot of planets in the Multiverse that's fine but even if that were the case when the mother boxers start calling out and steppen wolf shows up and figures out that this is where the anti-life equation is shouldn't Dark Side want to take a look shouldn't he come to claim it immediately and if not why is he testing steepen wolf and his loyalty like desad says well what if steepen Will fails like he does if dark side is wary of the world that beat him then why wouldn't he gather the full might of his forces immediately to attack them he just watches steepen will flounder around at the end then decides he better get off his ass and do something if he wasn't planning to jump in then why was he watching if he was planning to but didn't because he saw Superman then he's an idiot because he's given them so much time to prepare and defend and he just let steepen wolf fail and lose the world and therefore the anti-life equation again what are you doing mate he could probably use your help you want this guy is the big bad of the universe this character is nothing we know two things that he wants to kill planets and to find anti-life well he found anti-life thousands of years ago and never came back to grab it so that motivation is a little muddied and he also doesn't really commit to getting it this time now what about the real bad guy of Zack Snider's Justice League Zack Snider no seriously steepen wolf is a great villain for this film he's not particularly deep but he doesn't have to be he's got clear goals a plan to achieve them and works towards them in every scene we see unfortunately he [ __ ] dies so he's gone now it doesn't matter how he looks and sounds doesn't matter how much he wrecked our heroes he got his head cut off and his story is over now some of you might be saying that I'm being unfair that cyborg is a compelling character I agree he's pretty good he's overpowered as [ __ ] yet somehow completely incompetent when the story needs him to be but he's a lot better than most of the other one-dimensional characters and here's the part where I ruin it he gets introduced 80 minutes into the film you have the balls to introduce this man nearly a feature film into this Return of the King length SLO and he's one of the best ones Zack Snider needs to sort out priorities again I'm not an expert on these characters but I have seen many of them before and these interpretations don't reflect what I've seen at all sure maybe they're fresh takes that are meant to be completely apart from the superheroes people know and love but at that point why even bother making the films about them at all Zach clearly doesn't give a [ __ ] about these characters so why not just make a film about something people aren't already attached to a different version of there are some obvious answers but the question is still valid also while I'm not an expert there are plenty of people who have consumed all types of media relating to these characters who have heavily criticized Zach's versions for their strange depiction so that pretty much says it for me this universe is going nowhere you've seen the Grand Vision at the end of justice league dark side kills everything and Superman also kills everything that's where this is all headed is that what you want this is nothing even if it's not headed here in Justice League 2 or Ben Affleck solo Batman film were going to be amazing none of the problems with this universe are going to improve the more control Zack Snider has the more messy his films get he injects his visual style into every shot possible he takes characters where he wants to take them he makes Grand impossible plans for future movies without ever paying them off we know this just look at Zack ERS colon Rebel Moon colon part one colon a child of fire I haven't seen it and I hopefully never will but from all I've heard it is a dumpster fire also I just get this feeling that the people defending this nightmare future idea are probably the same people who hate Luke Skywalker's characterization in The Last Jedi enough to tweet at Disney to rcon the sequel Trilogy so it's dark and gritty and realistic when Superman snaps hard enough after one woman dies to kill the world but [ __ ] when Luke has a moment of fear when he senses the dark side and his nephew it's not the same and I'm not saying that film is a masterpiece but it's similar enough I get that this version of Superman is different from other versions of Superman so I can't site those versions like I can Luke in the OT vers the sequels but one is an isolated moment and the other is genocide so where does this movement go now the obvious and most likely answer is that it will slowly fizzle out as even the most DieHard hopeful delusional fans realize that the serse is never coming back back that might make a lot of people sad but godamn am I not one of them there are plenty of movies with a dark and gritty tone that are just better than these hell there are plenty of DC comic book movies that have a sense of realism and a similar tone that are better than these just look at the Batman it's so good now I've just spent an hour ranting about how much I don't like these films and you've probably seen the title of the video so it's not going to be surprising when I say that I reject the snyderverse I don't have to it doesn't exist anymore but I still do so I know that if there are any Snider super fans watching this video that not only are you probably not still watching by this point but I'll get a lot of vitriolic comments about how I'm a smooth brain idiot that just doesn't understand his genius and sure you do you man if you have made it all the way to the end first of all wow thank you I really appreciate that and secondly let me repeat what I always say if you like this that's fine that's great power to you enjoy it I hate it but I don't need you to hate it too just stop harassing people that have no ability to actually give you what you want stop stop it it's over it's done accept it try to have some optimism for what's coming for these DC characters who knows they might surprise you with that said I want to say a huge thank you to everyone watching this one kind of got away from me just like all of my video scripts seem to now so I appreciate each and every one of you uh my biomutant video just got over like 55,000 views which is insane and unexpected and pretty awesome to me so I'm super grateful for everyone watching and sticking around I don't expect this video to do nearly that well because I kind of think that was a fluke but please like And subscribe if you've enjoyed this video and you want to see content from me in the future don't forget to reject that sniders and have a good one [Music]

Channel: Josh Everton

Views: 93,346

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Id: m2EnKkP6UNM

Length: 66min 0sec (3960 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 11 2024