"If you don't come back, I'm gonna stick a knife in my pregnant belly" - (r/AskReddit)

our slash ass credit who is the worst attention horse you've come across sister-in-law at our wedding she did everything she could to steal attention away from her sister my wife she wore a dress that shed had altered to be both low-cut and short skirted then when no one was paying her attention kept accidentally dropping things so shield would bend over to pick them up when her dad remarried she was telling people at the ceremony that she had cancer but had come to terms with it she didn't have cancer I went to a costume wedding once one woman not the bride wore her own wedding dress and claimed she was the Bride of Chucky my film se has been my best friend since we were kids once in high school he was dating a girl who decided that after scaring the [ __ ] out of him by trying to cuff him to the bed against his will she was going to threaten to kill herself if he dumped her about 10 years later I ran into her at a party she was there with her husband and infant son not the kind of party you take a baby to but okay she proceeded to tell me how they never technically broke up since being 15 years old his answer to if you dumped me I'll kill myself was to just stop talking to her and because of that they were technically still together and she was cheating on him with her husband making her son a bastard she was 100% serious and she also told me to tell him she wanted an apology this was in front of a lot of very stunned people man I feel bad for her husband my grandma has to make everything about her literally everything no matter the personal situation and if the convo switches to where it's not about her she gets visibly annoyed and you can see the gears turning in her head as she tries to figure out how to get the conversation back on to her she constantly retells stories she's already told 1,000 times back from when she was younger if she can't think of anything recent if I have to ever again hear about how she was prom queen back in 1951 or valedictorian of her 10-person 8th grade class or how whenever she goes anywhere everyone just loves her she literally says and you know they just loved me all the time I'm gonna lose it I've got the feeling she will try to steal the attention from someone having a fatal heart attack my roommates cat died last week when she told her co-workers one lady proceeded to start telling a story about a cat she kinda round that never even lived with her that died five plus years ago she got so worked up that she started crying and the entire office started consuming the co-worker instead of my roommate whose cat had died the day before unbelievable this lady needs a serious dental got pure self feral I knew a girl in college whose father died at least six times over the span of one semester like we will be hanging out and then she gets a call and then she drops the phone her eyes go red and the waterworks start guys my father just died didn't he died last month well he got better I got better she turned me into a newt there's a girl in my college classes who claims her dad owns a huge soccer team that doesn't know the name she is dating one of the LA Lakers but can't give his name out but she is also talking to someone who's in the NFL to keep her options open she says her dad works at a local steel factory and has no idea where his extra money comes from because he gives her hush money then called another girl out in class for lying to fit in how does she keep her stories straight got confused just reading this she's a human version of a headache every day she walks in I sigh very deeply careful now she could get LeBron to beat your ass there was a girl who used to be part of this group of friends that I saw on the odd occasion when I was a team I only met her twice but on both occasions she started to full-on sing super loud whenever everybody else was talking and she was not involved in the conversation I knew a woman who was similar she was actually a pretty good singer problem was it went to her head and she sang in everybody's face after announcing what a good singer she was annoying I had a co-worker who used to sing on cruise ships one day he blocked my path and belted into song right in my damn face while grinning like a cannibal I just put my hand up in a stop sign answer I didn't buy tickets to your ducting show so get out of my way that was the end of that there was this British TV show about bad moms and one of them made her daughter dress way older than she looked daughter wanted to wear a t-shirt and jeans to go out to eat mom made her wear tights miniskirt boots tight tee sleeveless overcoat and a boatload of jewelry kid basically looked like she was in a Disney show and would make her daughter randomly sing and do her cheer routine in public because you never know who's watching people get discovered on the streets every day the little blonde girl I felt so bad some parents are just too stupid to have children anyone who checks in at the hospital on Facebook or posts a picture in the hospital room then tells someone to message them for what happens or says they don't want to talk about it edit you thanks for my first silver's people there was a girl in my college that constantly would say [ __ ] during orientation she told people she was recovering from brain cancer didn't happen and was partially deaf she wasn't she then found out my friend had epilepsy so she started doing these exaggerated tremors she then would fake seizures all the time for all the years she was there which was a pain the but because I would have to treat them like real ones she did it once during a power outage for the most attention possible she did it so often that once 911 hung up on someone calling it in because they knew it was her edit since I keep getting comments about 911 hanging up I feel like I should mention that the person who called was also a dispatcher sounds like a pathological liar back at early elementary school during art I used to talk [ __ ] about my own art to get a lot of compliments from other students my teacher noticed it and told me to stop I once did that and my friend was like oh yeah you're right it sucks and I felt so betrayed a true friend I see the death posts on our / teenagers I told my daughter to jump off a cliff and when she did she died I'm so distraught right now karma would probably make me feel better though girl in college would constantly try to get detention if my boyfriend dumped me my new guy beats me I am gay I am not gay I own a signed Kurt Cobain bass guitar but by far the worst one I was raped and the guy got sent to prison gave people a paper cut out of a rape case but it looked odd so I tracked it down using the Google and found she had altered it and it was some other girl we all cut ties with her after that ducking psycho my high school Expo stood a picture of a knife to his wrist on Twitter after I broke up with him for cheating on me and being pathological liar he told everyone to message me and to talk to him I cut a full-contact or he was going to kill himself I hate that I was young and dumb so it worked and we ended up back together I once had a guy do that but we'd been on like three dates called the cops on his pathetic ass he got all upset with me because his parents got angry with him lol but I totally understand the young and dumb part especially if he once cared about this dude and you don't want to see him in pain good way to handle it out of the office I've got a good one I went to uni with her in no particular order she was raped repeatedly by an ex-boyfriend who kept on breaking into her room at night when we reported it to campus security they never saw anyone enter her room on security cameras same x-carve slap into her chest with a knife never saw any scarring or evidence of any sort same ex spray-painted slap on to the outside of her window she lived on the fourth floor of a tower block whilst traveling back home for Christmas she fell over knocked herself out came to in the hospital was discharged and beat the train home she missed because of being knocked out that particular train journey takes three hours whilst at home for Christmas her dad kept on taking LSD and asking her to drive into places in his van even though she's never had a driving lesson was ran over repeatedly by a mutual friend she just walked into his car claimed to be the biggest drug dealer on campus but no one ever once saw her stash she can't speak seven languages fluently but she can never remember which languages there there are so many of these it was really sad and pathetic that last one made me laugh a lady that I work with is the biggest one upper I have ever met in April I had major surgery to remove half my digestive system and was given a lot of attention from our concerned co-workers she was not happy because she wasn't the center of attention anymore well she found out she needed to have a DNC outpatient procedure to cauterize her uterus and your wake for the whole thing she came into work she decided to milk it for all she could and when she came into work the next day she was distraught over the fact no one came to check up on her the night before and wouldn't talk about anything but her recovery by the end of the week she was telling people she was recovering from cancer surgery in fact she still complains that she is recovering from it and this happened back in April she also told me unsolicited of course that the reason she didn't come see me while I was in the hospital was because her mom had died in a hospital 13 years ago and she is still greeting and going to a hospital would make her grieving process start all over again I actually feel bad for her oh I know a bigger one-upper than that full right in high school my buddy was banging this girl who told everyone she got shot I asked her to see the bullet wound and she pulled her shirt down a little so I could see her shoulder but you know what was ducting covering her wound one single ace band-aid edit bonus story so she told my buddy he got her pregnant condom did rip so believable she told him she wanted an abortion and needed $60 for it he gave it to her but I asked her how she was going to get it for $60 she said she was going to the hospital with a fake head edit - I forgot the worst of all she was allowed and proud juggle it she got a shot you know those vaccines are as bad as bullets my ex sister-in-law made up a story that she had cancer three separate times to try to get sympathy attention a little touchy but here goes nothing my brother was in a toxic relationship he was physically and mentally being abused not sexually he did manage to get his abusive girlfriend pregnant it got to a point where he was actually crying because he just needed to come home with me to our mom that was the last straw for me so I said suck it come with me so he grabbed his stuff and we literally ran from her she was throwing his stuff out the door and screaming we kept running but then she yelled if you don't come back right now I'm going to stick a knife in my pregnant belly I wish I was making this up we of course ran back to prevent this so yet that this girl in eighth grade claims she was depressed and suicidal she was popular so everyone believed her and felt bad for her she got all kinds of attention for it there was this kid in the same grade who was actually depressed and he tried hanging himself on a doorknob in the back of our class when no one was looking one day and in an odd way he became popular laughter because of it she decided to do the same one day in class except no one noticed her doing until she was passed out and had to go to the emergency room okay I think we found the winner here there was a chick in my high school who faked pregnancy claimed to do drugs in the restroom with her drug buddies and then told people I was the father I never had sex with her because I kind of had the gay had the gay you and me both buddy edit I'm a girl this is the start of something beautiful I can feel it my two ex friends they dated in high school were forced to split because she was legal age 19 and he was 15 got back together and just made a bunch of bad choices together engaged after a month and just constantly crying for attention everything he cooks microwaves goes onto Facebook and snapchat with annoying voiceovers of her going out of the office through good the constant post saw oh my god I love my baby so much with lovey-dovey photos of them but they fight and break up more than anyone I have ever known if he pissed her off she text me a picture of her engagement ring being taken off they thought a friend snapchatting a picture outside of their house and not going to see them meant he had to be planning on killing himself proceeded to spam all their shows with panic messages until they found out it was basically just a hey look I was in your town pic not only are they attention horses but just a total hot mess altogether a friend joined me and two others in the Philippines for a couple weeks despite her never having traveled before and despite her having 12,000 words to write while the Uni we're there about five days and she goes storming off in El Nido in the pouring rain in the dark and claims she's tired we tell her not to go but by this point she's been crying and complaining about the trip all week she's staying in a different room so we didn't hear from her until the next day because reception told us she had checked out but left her watch behind she wrote on Facebook we had been leaving her out not true and not being considerate towards her injury a small graze on her leg and we weren't being supportive with her uni work aka not doing it for her oh and by the way we are all around 26 got two gems a high school friend when his girlfriend talked about ending the relationship he sent her a picture of him pointing his dad's gun to his head saying the typical if you leave I'll kill myself and he always pulled that sort of drama antics high school graduation party at hotel they gave out sparkling wine without alcohol I saw peeps chugging down glasses and then acting like they were really drunk there was no bar or alcohol included in the party in hindsight they were cringy if dark this kid who's chilled out by now and I'm good friends with once was a huge attention horse one day he walked up to our table while we were peacefully playing smash and pulled out one of those rolls of myndy tape that's what I call them meant to make your breath minty and says I'm eating this whole roll and none of you are ever gonna stop me god dammit and so we didn't in my sophomore year of high school I briefly dated then had an on-again off-again friendship with this senior in my drama class let's call em ti as under the idiot T I was awesome when we Smet he told a lot of cool stories and seemed to have an interesting life he was a little weird but the fun kind of weird and very socially savvy so he was generally well-liked by a lot of the class over time however I could tell TI was a little off his stories started to seem a little outlandish for example how Katy Perry and ariana grande kissed him on each cheek at the same time how he survived a 30-foot fall from a tree top into a large hole after being unconscious for hours how he had a fake girlfriend confirmed to be fake that he dumped just so he could date me and other unbelievable stuff like that something just wasn't right about this guy anyways the most attention horse fing T I ever did was tell our entire class that he had some fatal disease that required surgery from which he was probably going to die we weren't dating anymore and in a non phase of our friendship at this point bTW he even went as far as saying goodbyes and offering to sell his stuff honestly I could tell that this was probably [ __ ] he didn't know what this disease was except a tumor up nearest and I quote you know what and just cuz he was a compulsive liar in general but those who didn't know him as well as I did fell for it one girl even had to go to counseling because she was so worried about him he told us this the Thursday before a week-long Thanksgiving break and that his surgery with the next Tuesday and if we didn't hear from him by then by that night he'd be dead so I texted him Tuesday night no response I texted him on Thursday wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving nothing at this point I actually started to get a little worried what if something did happen to him but there he was on Monday back at school totally fine not in a wheelchair or crutches or even limping yet I beached him out on it pretty hard TL DR psycho friend made up a fake fatal illness and worried our classmates friends for days for the sole purpose of getting attention whoa you made it to the end you're ducking Beast I'll cut you a deal smash LIKE and subscribe for more curated content it's free and that's a great price

Channel: Sir Reddit

Views: 150,908

Rating: 4.9216914 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, reddit ama, ask me anything, reddit ask me anything, r/IAmA, attention seeker

Id: XzZ8lBfxqxI

Length: 17min 29sec (1049 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 18 2019