i think there's a gas leak in the studio (Eugene's Here!) - The TryPod Ep. 167

ramble thank you to everlane for sponsoring today's episode once upon a time in a faraway land there lived five mischievous little boys there was the tall one who didn't know what a spoon was what's this stupid fork there was the one who yelled loudly who didn't know what a fork was a fork there was the wee wee wee little one hello with the head of lush's hair what do i do with this stupid spoon do i put it in my butt well no he doesn't know what this what the knife is oh how do i oh my hair is so luscious and then of course there was the man the myth hey the legend how's it going kilometers that's right it's me dude you're hot yeah together they went on a journey to create the best plate food for their shared cutlery experience oh it's me it's me i'm the witch that's really good i'm the witch of plates the narrator the witch of plates sounds like a tarot card yes i'm the witch of plates a witch of plates yes i'm always giving people plates and taking them away yeah what a witch you're that you're the you're the the napkin grumpy what is the napkin gremlin of course yeah the empty plate from the witch of plates what does it mean it means you're hungry is my soul hungry it either means you're full or you're hungry oh right because plates are circle that's a philosophical right right that's beautiful yeah i like that wow we've already given you something to think about today yeah that's your welcome audience it's a thinker it's a stinker and it's a full squad roundup for the first time in a very long time i think little squad roundup is a thinker and a stinker yeah full squad round up it's a thinker and a stinker where do we even begin yeah no uh eugene welcome to the podcast that's what happens when you ask me to introduce well i was into it it was kind of like a spooky story like we were about to go on an adventure to return a ring to a volcano i'm trying to think about what kind of food we're going to be ordering together that's the if you're hungry here at 10 a.m well he said the quest is for the perfect plate of food and it's like oh you got all five of us what is the perfect plate i think it's any plate of food and then add a little ahi tuna spaghetti i like that oh no spaghetti with crab keith said lump crab that's good that's good lump crab or spaghetti carbonara yeah eugene what kind of stuff you've been eating lately you're great look great oh i've been eating terribly but in a way that i've just been embracing it because food is food yeah food is food that's right okay i had a cheeseburger for breakfast yesterday wow what time is cheeseburger what time is breakfast for you it was it was at um 9 45 yesterday how could you survive until then an early burger what time where are you getting the burger that early breakfast are you kidding me a burger stand they also sell breakfast sandwiches but i they also sell burgers at 9am and i'm like yep and now are you doing anything to breakfastify said burger are you putting a cracked egg on it or is this just i got fries on the side and i ate those with ranch dressing okay does that make it more breakfast is if you have a bowl of ranch and you have the french fries floating in it then i think you could call that cereal yeah i mean a burger is basically just breakfast sausage without the spice great point it's a beef sausage patty well amidst a morning salad with a lettuce the lettuce is the morning's out wait zach what was your perfect plate of food oh well it's certainly not breakfast burger are we saying perfect plate of food for the people or perfect plate of food for meat i think it's a more interesting question for you yeah what's your oh that i like this what's your perfect oh feel your death meal i think that's what zach was originally asking and then ned came up with anything in the dash the ahi honestly i was more on guys play but i like i like this get off my plate yeah your death row play i'm not okay i'm gonna think about my death row plate but while we all think about that i'm gonna go ahead and say grape leaves are fun and weird and delicious love them stuffed grape leaves are just not just eating a grapefruit that's your final meal like a dollar yeah mm-hmm but you got some dolmas are delicious and some thomas let's just be honest blow chunks they're just so weird it's like visual imagery wet rice in a sour little slimy leaf yeah i thought you ordered some grape leaves for the boys the group text while we started do they have grape leaves at that place yeah i mean they're called grape leaves for the table for the boys for the boys yeah i'll have some because they're you don't want like more than two or three or you shouldn't but they're fun but if they're in a salad bar i'm picking it up you know i'm loading up on great i went to a wedding once that had uh just table grape leaves and i was like yeah we're partying tonight yeah uh final meal so it depends why am i dying who's putting me to sleep i'm gonna execute you okay so i'm in prison no no you're not citizen so kidnapper is just who's going to murder you just as thoughtful and wants you to have a nice well this changes things because if it's like if i'm at home i'm going to have something that's delicious that makes me feel good but if you guys kidnap me i'm going to wreck my insides yeah because when you die you poop and so i'm gonna leave you with just a mess yeah clean up on aisle zach and that's the show we're eating we're eating an ice cream sundae we're eating stuffed peppers we're eating all of it we're eating pizza do you like aspire to eat all these things but you can't or has your no palate actually taste changed to the point where these things like [Laughter] i watched ned chug milk yesterday yeah like two cups should we do the gallon challenge on the podcast i'd do it do you have it yeah go grab some milk should we have a gallon of milk in there do you have a thought of your perfect final yeah we got a gallon in there you know i'm already two cups deep so it'll be you know 24 hour challenge you like thinking about death eugene have you thought about your final one i do yeah often i think i'd want every cultural rice staple 20 plates of rice uh i love yeah it's really paella i love oh imagine they're a paella but someone makes like 10 paellas and you just get to combine all the crusty good bottom part well no i want all every culture so you get bibimbap you got like jambalaya adobo rice chicken adobo chicken nobody rice jollof rice all the rice dishes every culture has a great one uncle ben's yeah throwing some uncle ben's baby that's america that's my people's culture is uncle ben versions of culture rice yeah a little rice bowl uh you know what [ __ ] it throw some spanish rice in there hey why not i love it why not i just want all the rice that's really good i love the rice i had um i got some chinese food some uh uyghur chinese food recently from my favorite place called dolan and i had for the first time it was called ding ding noodle which means chopped up noodle and it was like as if rice were made of noodles oh my god yes such a good crazy texture because like the noodles stuck to each other so it was almost like little eating little rice balls but instead of being rice balls they were noodles little noodle chunks and it tasted like just a good kind of lomain flavor yeah but it was just such a fun texture i never had diced like minced noodles as a thing never heard of it they were great yeah i wonder if you could do that with like penne yeah i think chop it up blend it up blend it oh you could blend cook them and then blend them and then you could put it in a popsicle freeze it noodle pops yeah then you might as well just have orzo that's a really good point yeah orzo is was very similar except these noodles because they were like handful noodles they stuck together whereas orizon normally doesn't stick it normally remains a little more ricey orzo underrated i love orzo my mom used to make a big orzo salad yeah and couscous so your plate is all of the the rice shaped things that aren't righteous they're made of noodles yeah i'd like a bunch of noodles in the form of something else i like orzo but i feel like risotto is just i would always just prefer it if i had the option disagree risotto over orzo oh yeah yeah yeah has anybody ever what about this has anybody ever taken a drumstick and breaded it very lightly but then wrapped it in like a wheat noodle or like a you know a noodle and then deep fried that so it's like chicken noodles are fried together and the noodle is part of the fry batter because a noodle is made of stuff that you would use too you're trying to reinvent the chicken noodle it's mostly chicken used the the noodle in the batter chicken noodle hold the soup yeah whatever you put it in a soup chicken noodle it's kind of like soup bone in chicken dumplings yeah chicken bone in such a hazardous thing to eat you just get you know let's see i guess you could wrap it in a one-time wrap yeah thick noodle like and you just fold it all the way over and this is basically where our without a recipe ideas come from oh this is a good one this is a good one yeah rachel would be happy try guys reinvent soups without a recipe soup hold the broth without a recipe i think i'd go ceviche that pork thing that we had at yankee stadium oh yeah that was like a big it was a bacon on a stick bacon bacon on a stick it was actually just pork belly that was really good it was really has that video come out yet no no i mean i don't know well if anyone's been to yankee stadium and they've had the bacon on a stick sound off well everybody um wait what are you gonna eat yeah eugene said he said rice's medley but i could tell you have something to say oh yeah can i start over can we start everything over the whole show yeah i feel like i i feel bad for starting us off on such a chill footage but we found such a fun place i just did genius i'm always down to restart it we just can't erase what we did are you sure i feel like i i made it too meditating welcome to the tripod see that's the energy but yeah there you go no you said you knew i loved your energy i thought it was no i feel like i'm giving i'm given two to relax no that's nice though but that's the chillers you know all of the other 56 episodes we probably annoyed the [ __ ] out of everyone yeah people turned it off i think 56 episodes a year that's right 56 episodes a year for christmas these these fritos expired yesterday you're gonna die are they actually expire ariel throws so many expired things out of our pantry and i'm like you get a couple days i beat everything man yeah my favorite thing is to throw you're crazy no do sauces really ever expire keith it says it's tired what are you doing you you're mad mad no it's not actually i'm just like you're eating expired you can't do that free the toes you can't freeze the tongue stale how how much expired would you eat something how long what are we talking how many it depends on the thing chicken chips uh probably two years it is a little stainless oreos prefer them preferably spices i don't like things that reverse stale yeah before they get soft yeah that freaks me out well then you can't have any of my oreos like why did it get soft it just drank the light amount of moisture in the air and changed that is weird like but like a chicken bullion cube five years all right what about uh fab a chicken uh like a chinese chicken salad from trader joe's in your fridge oh that's a different it expired on tuesday fridge stuff i don't [ __ ] around with yeah that's that's where you actually got to watch out you're gonna get back two days and stuff two days maybe three if it passes the smell test yeah well also like is it really gonna be that good if it's finished chicken salad no chance fish i believe that you are allowed you get about a day oh yeah for sure two or three days is okay and in fact if you're throwing away your food because it expired that day mm-hmm you my friend that should i waste i should do the intro make me feel bad we're watching we're watching keith eats still fritos i brought him to this place eugene this is what the tripod has become with him okay let me know if you need me to redo it no why don't we do it let's review and we're live let's see how it goes three we'll start it over okay welcome to the tripod guys oh god i hope everyone is having a lovely [ __ ] day wow he's once upon a time there were five perky ass boys there was the tall one who was cursed um power to eat he couldn't eat anything okay then there was the married one who was cursed with the inability to [ __ ] no then there was the sweet one the wee sweet one who was cursed with the power of never being able to take a poop [Music] and then there was the extra tall one extra extraventi he was cursed with the power to never give advice again hey is it going bob all right see how's that that was really good you did that oh and the fifth uh he was cursed with the power of never being gay no no power eugene no he was cursed with heterosexuality with khakis for the rest of his life no whoa wow that's rough the straightest spin so many pockets down the side too they're pokies and children well hey happy pride month what kind of gay stuff are you guys doing so speaking of gay stuff you're having sex with men i wanted to yeah we're talking about sex with men now i have prepared a segment because obviously you know eugene's not on the show often and when he is we want to really break the ice we want to make sure that we're getting back to that o.g type [ __ ] right so i prepared some icebreakers is this a webby award-winning segment this is a webby award losing segment because we only won at the once are we doing what's the word nope yeah oh but we should yeah because that's eugene's like thing well that's really good i did make a bowl of questions okay okay what's the ball what's the ball what's the ball with eugene can i read you the intro one more time yeah yeah i just felt like i felt like the last one was enough inaudible other try guys slash miles mask yeah yeah slash royals morning radio like i was just waiting for you to kick it out of miles for the weather that's how i think of y'all in my head i don't know how to feel about that yeah but you know fat sauce it's pretty accurate top three of us all four of us are one and that one is annoying four excuse me i just work here bob hey everyone welcome to the tribot today we're playing some awesome games we're seeing he's a tripod you're playing tripping i think you should start over [Music] so quality is important to me i would always rather get one nice thing rather than a bunch of not as nice things something that lasts for a long time you know when you stick by what's important to your very core it shows up in everything you do that's why everlane is committed to doing the right thing from start to finish that means partnering with responsible factories and ensuring every piece of clothing looks and feels great for years to come i'm actually wearing everlane jeans right now they are on my booty as we speak they feel great they look great it's a clothing brand that does things differently you have a right to know the actual price of making your clothes and everlane shows you the cost behind the production of every piece from materials and labor to duties and transport if you want to do things differently from your core to your closet shop everlane go to everlane.com try guys and sign up for 10 off your first order it's 10 off your first order when you go to everlane.com try guys and sign up everlane helping people live their best lives with the least impact on the planet [Music] uh hey everyone welcome to guilty pleasures no no eugene wait a minute and we're live in five baby steps four does that still happen no welcome to the tripod wow i think i nailed it you nailed it all right let's get into the game it's got a bowl a bowl me over with your cues we have a bowl of questions that are sort of icebreaker mini games oh wow okay they're gonna be really good i think that each of you oh okay he kicked it over with his foot what is going on in this episode everybody is [ __ ] up man get your foot out of here he's laying down he's kicking i'm trying to reach a ball eugene's drinking a beer what is that a starbucks ah that's a nitro cold blue that's good wow all right so what's your question so there i'm gonna ask the question and they're going to answer it yeah well and you're going to answer it too and these are questions that are sort of icebreakers oh my god it's like a speed date or icebreaker it's sort of like office icebreakers okay yeah so there's some normal questions you'd ask around an office that you know everyone's going to have and okay so you guys have to do the theme songs he's giving me big crotch energy right now he got us a bowl here comes a bowl question did you know that speed dating was invented by a rabbi in the 80s for little lonely jewish boys oh oh make up your mind quick oh do you love her or not come on hey do you love her okay here goes a question from the bowl first question first ice breaker who's the hottest dude hottest dude chris hemsworth put on the board my band director my mandarinter always said that a dude is the name for an infected hair on a an elephant's anus is that true that's that moss can we get a google can you google infected elephant anus i'm gonna do infected anus and then i'll just go from there d o o d i don't know d that's a good question a dude elephant hair you yeah it does a hair on an elephant's butt how do you spell um uh dude this is like the root a dancer so i would say dumbo next question interesting nah who's the actual hot is like well so we talk about this a lot that there's like the difference between the male gaze and the female gays and i feel like what straight men think is hot is the most uh exaggerated masculinity and i think that in my mind chris hemsworth is kind of that balance where he is exaggeratedly masculine but also [ __ ] that dude's hot yeah but then they're like some women who are like no i like like softer like timothy chalamet or jimin you know that's that's more of a female gaze which is the hottest there's a lot of hot dudes out there too think chris hemsworth it's hot it's funny thor kind of wish centaurs were real don't you oh yeah where do you think they would live though i feel like they would be they would have a lot of prejudice against them yeah i think it would bring up a lot of human centaur relations issues people will be [ __ ] centaurs centaurpede i bet you that our society would not treat them well i don't know they'd be i think they would because they're so strong they'd be athletes do you think centaurs would be allowed to play in our organized sports like could you have a centaur on a basketball team ain't no rule says centaur can't play basketball no they would probably make a centaur league entirely centaur is pretty good he would dominate it would [ __ ] dominate on the court a centaur player gallop four legs two and his teammates could ride on his back oh [ __ ] oh yeah is that allowed in basketball like can you ride can you ride if someone was like really big like can i get on zach's shoulders and dunk and dunk you get on my shoulders yeah if i'm dribbling right so like i think so yeah like i think i don't know if you can dribble while someone's carrying you but like someone could kind of crouch down while you like take the rock boom boom boom like jump off their back yeah run up their back that is such a sports guy you hear him just call it the rocks yeah he really dropped that dude eugene what do you think about the hottest dude or centaurs on the court those are your two options of conversation what do you think yeah i think i think whoa well if you have a relationship with the centaur the bottom areas are horse right right yeah yeah just so you have to consider that and horses are hung like horses well that would be damaging that would be too much would a centaur have to wear pants or would it be in decent exposure and would a centaur wear a pants like this or like this yeah i don't think they i mean if anything maybe they would be having to wear a shirt because that's the human part but you could see their big swinging [ __ ] whoa miles we were all thinking it how do you think a centaur uses a toilet i don't think we need to cover up the centaur horse parts we already have the horses are free we just don't wear pants now what did you say again miles we're going to see what his big swinging [ __ ] oh okay because it's like you can't see my big swinging car because i'm wearing pants but if you see a centaurs then it's like i could see your [ __ ] and the guy was like yeah yeah that's my you know right because it's our culture because it's our culture yeah yeah we love you because he can talk he can talk about his own yeah he'd be like look at my big swinging [ __ ] and it's like well that maybe feels like too much like maybe we could see how scary would be if a centaur reared up on his hind legs in front of you just he'd be so big yeah social boner or no no no boner necessarily still be scary it would be scary i'm not even scared of the dick i'm scared of the hooves i'm trying to think do we think that centaurs and human like okay did centaurs evolve from horses simultaneous to humans evolving from primates or did we both evolve from primates and somewhere along the way someone [ __ ] a horse yeah i think that that's the most likely option just imagine it was a wizard that did the first one oh and now yeah it's a wizard well this brings up an interesting question let's say i'm a human and i get cursed by a wizard to be turned into a frog right and then i make love to another frog do i now have frog spermies yeah because you have frog dna so i have frog dna and that has altered everything down to my reproductive organs yes i mean it's really it's your brain would be very confused because you'd have human memories in a frog brain but the frog brain probably can't support it i know you could like running a you know modern day app on an old-timey computer like running an xbox on a first-gen playstation sure sure yeah sometimes the cds don't fit yeah or the centaur's just an entirely different species right sure it's not really like how did it evolve did it evolve from horses from humans from just seems like an awful coincidence that we both evolved at some point we split from horses so they must have been part of the split they were also like very predominant in like mythology right so probably a god [ __ ] a horse i think it had to have evolved you think mythology aside i think it happened if we could from horses if we could pause right there that's a great comment but god [ __ ] the horse yeah i'd love to just kind of dive into this we already kind of talked about people [ __ ] no but this is a god this is a god might have even just sent like an angel down to impregnate the horse in this little like sort of a jesus mary that type of thing yeah okay cause like uh yeah that's probably the most likely yeah that's likely wizards right zeus was like i'm getting down there i'm [ __ ] anything i want but zeus often was turned into an animal yeah yeah he wasn't always he wasn't [ __ ] the animal you're right he was he but he could have turned into a horse and then [ __ ] a horse right zeus could have done that right right that's classic zeus he typically turned into say like a horse and then [ __ ] up a person yeah who and the horse is usually against their will i want to be able to say i love you and he's like boom now you have a torso with talking abilities yeah maybe we do the intro one who is the romance i think i need to bring it back who was the roman seuss welcome to the tripod jupiter welcome to the tripod oh sorry uh one more time welcome to the drive today we're talking about man animal hybrids otherwise known in manimals wow wait give us your best horse keith yeah that was really good uh and that give us your horse that's not bad not bad here is that give us your best horse wow jack really showed his car that was so embarrassing for zach you are not [ __ ] worse that was a that was a real real solid intro you watched me i'm going to [ __ ] my horses than any of you no you look me but you can't talk about my words i only talk about god's horses and strangers zachary cornfeld we'll [ __ ] more horses than all my friends combined this is just can we call it zach said he was gonna [ __ ] okay let me just clip that and save it for later yeah could that be in your tic tac sound or everyone says hi zachary cornfeld promise that i will [ __ ] more horses oh my god than any of my friends combined i might be a shadow band yeah you're gonna get shot it's gonna be straight banned i think it'll but there's no shadow no sorry i gotta i got a text message that i needed to see if i needed to attend to in this moment i don't therefore goodbye phone let's talk about horse [ __ ] what let's get another ball what's in the ball what's in the balls what was the final that's right who's the hottest mouse is centaurs zeus okay who does anybody play zeus in a major motion picture that's recent arnold schwarzenegger they're going to happen in the new thor played by russell crowe russell crowe isn't that hot are you insane russell today ever but he's a good zeus he used to punch guys right he's pretty hot and gladiator is he punching guys didn't he punch guys he did he did he did punch people yeah he punches like noble and he's just punched people was that like a thing he was going around doing yeah i feel like yes he got in trouble like twice in one year for punching guys did russell crowe punch guys look at that russell [Music] russell crowe elephant anus hair russell crowe did bunch guys it seems like between 19 are you saying it like that because it's just so funny like it's not like you punched a guy between 1999 and 2005 crow was involved in four altercations i told you he punched guys punching guys i'm maximus don't you know who i am i got that beautiful mind it's crazy i'll [ __ ] you up i already know people's answers for this apples or bananas bananas apples bananas bananas i really i loved apples when i was a kid i love cutting them up i'm on team apples thank you yeah yeah but some apples are so bad bad bananas are so bad no most bananas are delicious bananas are the same so here's the thing we only have one banana in america [ __ ] line at a time between a good banana a bad banana that's just that's just related to ripeness i know that's part of it right whereas apples have many different variety therefore isn't there fun and i actually agree i think that is very fun yeah if i had two on the table and i had to have a snack i'd probably go for the apple huh i'm gonna go for the banana hit me with that nana what about the banana my smoothie the better apple is the better than any banana yeah but the general banana is better than the worst apples yeah that's the best start of the podcast we did it the best apples delicious about that red delicious i heard recently that the sugar in an apple your body's like who gives a [ __ ] if it's a snickers or it's a bit an ass no it was a real question who's hot who's hotter the half man half apple oh and the half man half banana obviously yeah you peel it back and go to town look at that yeah probably true that there should be more mythology of combining a whole favorite mythology religion about fruit people yeah man about a mythology book for my kid that was like mythology for kids it is not for kids whoa people be [ __ ] is it the greeks yeah yeah they're going to be [ __ ] people look like cutting their heads off and you know it's like oh they were epic stories oh no the asparagus people are coming i guess we already had it [Music] doesn't have enough they're not half meat they just have eyes and noses and mouths they don't have half man woman people bodies fruit myths oh imagine this okay the banana people have like one eye but then as they ripen they have a bunch of eyes pop out would that be better for the potato people yeah because bananas when they get more ripe they get little brown dots no but you would do the potatoes get eyes they just get freckles i'm calling them eyes bananas and pajamas oh that is that is the original those are our gods those are the gods and you're saying you would [ __ ] the bananas in pajamas more than the little apple car with the worm in it the richard scary apple helicopter that's piloted by a worm no i would not [ __ ] the helicopter dude you're missing out i'd probably take a ride on it though but not that kind of ride i actually feel like oh ned an apple ride well bananas in pajamas bananas in pajamas that's right bananas in pajamas they're coming everywhere here's a real question i'm sorry okay we were talking about [ __ ] the banana people right when you [ __ ] a banana banana split baby pretty good this is an important question when you [ __ ] a banana in pajamas obviously they're out of pajamas sure sure do you unpeel the banana to [ __ ] them well if you're you know if your relationship has progressed to that but is the is the they have the nice hard stem yeah at the top yeah do you think that's the penis i feel like that could be something where you can do things i think i gotta look up bananas and pajamas you guys everything look up banana and pajama anus hair oh god no yeah no way dude don't look at banana porn miles this feels especially that's a great idea miles are the rails yeah did i do that are everyone wondering i looked up bananas and pajamas aren't peeled at all no they're just full bananas with the little sta i think they just have yellow dicks down there okay so the next question is a little bdsm banana that's pretty that's pretty cute it was pretty hot biggest boner you've ever had you didn't didn't want to ask it biggest boner you've had now let's just let's just slow down for a second here before we answer the question give people look inside the mind of a podcast producer right so this is a special segment uh that we call inside miles yeah in my mind so miles you wrote this question down you thought of this question and then you took a pen in your hand yeah and you kind of did the motion that said what again so and let me walk you through it yeah so i get to the office about an hour early yeah right that's not there's bad ones in here still there's there's another but you don't prep at all the day before are you going to read something purely what's that are you going to reuse these questions yeah we're going to just use the same ball wait miles continue and then i want to so i get to the office an hour earlier and i'm already crumpling the question i've already done some anxiety i've already done some prep and my idea was well what if i write down a bunch of fishbowl questions and then i thought what's like a really good question and what's the biggest bonus you've ever had sort of felt like well then the guys are gonna keith's maybe gonna be like well i had a big boner when i was in college or something and then yeah it was good my wife the thing about boners is there's not a lot of variance in uh after a certain age yeah so i thought in classic target's fashion you know nick keith would say something goofy and then it would be like my what and then like you know should we just stick to the script then well i mean miles you also wrote in this bowl best ass you've seen lately wow lately yeah but that's not even my favorite well yeah well yeah which one is your favorite miles podcast producer wrote last person you in quotations [ __ ] down [Laughter] can i pass this around like an offering basket i just thought it was a good question like glasses are icebreakers yeah these are icebreakers is there a water cooler conversation topic what i also like about this is that he capitalized the d in dick and in doubt i tell you what you take ronald out of this room for one day yeah things go wild now he's back but he was gone yesterday he was in the studio when i left in the evening he was sitting well miles i just want to you know let you jump in here and get involved so who is the last person you took down oh that's probably my wife no yeah so you okay my wife sarah yeah i'm nice you guys are married we're weird yeah you were at my wedding you remember me i was yeah yeah oh but that was yeah my dick down so zach who's the last person you did you [ __ ] down i can't i don't can you define a dick down yeah so [ __ ] down is when you take your um big fat [ __ ] and you oh my god you have to walk here that's the answer to how you [ __ ] a banana is tastefully yeah yeah same way he grew up on a farm so he's talking about with a lot of practice and a lot of hours i mean i grew up on a farm we did horses at one point pigs came but then we had to ward them off and told them i'm sorry at one point my parents are that always same my p they arrived like they showed up at the farm looking for a place to live pigs in pajamas or something and they put the shells in the driveway and then my everybody they my parents had clams and i threw the shells in the driveway it's a gravel driveway it's gravel it's rocket it'll just like get churned up with the gravel remember when everyone was like oh my god you have to watch black mirror and then the first episode is about [ __ ] a pig that's my favorite episode it is hard to get through that episode but it is a good one yeah and then the pigs came and uh my brother was like there's pigs i mean that was like what and then pete my dad went to the corner store and was like somebody lose like 10 pigs and the second guy was like yeah and then we delivered the pigs did did he give you a reward ah he don't think so you should have been able to keep a pig yeah you should have said arnold found nine if oranges fall on your own i found nine pigs today did you lose nine the pigs wander under your property like yeah isn't it mm-hmm aren't they your pigs now interesting so a [ __ ] down yeah you play your big favorite car i'd be really afraid of ten pigs together it was a little scary cruising around town yeah the other big yeah born to be right wild homes does hog wild come from pigs from wild hog well there's wild hogs are actually a huge problem they're like dangerous they're very dangerous yeah there's no hunting season because they reproduce so quickly that they're like a huge hazard you killed an old woman two years ago you know there's a story that's right every movie that takes place in the jungle or the forest where they're stranded there's something spooky in the forest but then there's a pig and that's kind of like a season one plot line lost did it yep uh yellow jackets did it a monster it's a pig anaconda did it yeah pigs in the forest do you what do you do you carry people pepper spray for the pig you can do pig spray probably i never encountered pigs when i was growing up but i just know they're just kind of carry a fence around at all they'll maul ya they'll kill you they go to the mall they go to the mall and they stop at jcpenney yes they go to claire's and get their little pig ears pierced how would you with what you have on you right now uh-huh kill a wild pig who is trying to kill you that's a really good question i should probably use this mic stand as a you know battering stick yeah the pig came in the podcast studio i just ripped the mic stand and start trying to get distance with that fork here so take the fork throw it and then didn't get behind you gene clean because i definitely if in this scenario would rely on eugene and ned yeah the first wave yeah i would also first wave of [ __ ] there's this coffee table here i feel like if we very quickly we could maybe make a little barrier a pig enters the room i think you guys you're just assuming violence i would sing to the pig well didn't it wasn't it like a wild horse you're going to trust this guy he's asking us about dick and down i'm just imagining this hog is like disemboweling your throat as you're saying has no bowels here we are yeah little little piggies all tucked away in bed waiting for waiting for five men to come murder us for no reason cause apparently that's what we do to pigs well no only if they're gonna murder you that's right why is the pig murdering you because they're wild because they're wild the wild hogs do murder they do murder people all right tucker carlson what's it really the pigs are coming around if it's a pig huh is it murder if it's a pig i think it's just you know that you mean let's just do it how do we know it's free it's manslaughter i think it depends how you kill it but yes i think you could murder a pig no if a pig murders you i think that could we could call it it has to if it left like a no no way thing i'm gonna go murder the try guys yeah yeah it would be murder anyways yankee stadium has great bacon on a script that's good one more question what's in the bowl in there that you think are appropriate that aren't about yeah those were those were the the very miles ones yeah though i will say maybe you're uh you're a seer miles a seer a soothsayer oh as they say because three of your questions actually hit on things that we rambled about really yeah there's one about prison we talked about our last meal oh that's right well that was the last episode when you started over yeah it was successful there's also one about fave type of pasta which we talked to we did talk about that we talked about orozo yep we also talked about god oh yeah it was is god real is one of them god's making centaurs whoa so miles i think you actually ordained preordained yeah the entire pod you're actually a podcast producing genius i'm pretty good at this were you writing questions as we were talking and then throwing them discreetly into the ball sort of like a sleight of hand i wish yeah well that means we should probably just ask the the best question you have which is anyways biggest boner for me probably my wedding night really yeah that's awesome good for you man miles ass smash or pass oh baloney smash you gotta hit that smash yeah you guys baloney you touched baloney yes [Laughter] i did like out of all the out of all the deli meats oh no out of all of them it's just saying it's just the binary in some ways i think it is a good one because because it's like you know ground up meat that's then returned into meat it's got it's more tender it's already godless it's not like trying to get through like hard salami how did they make balloons tough you don't want to know is does it have to be from bologna to be called baloney from bologna like is it technically like oscar meyer baloney yeah baloney style meat from kansas sparkling meat sometimes there's olives in it right i would i would pass pass it's not it's nothing else it's not a smashable deli meat not up to my standards but if it was a stack of baloney it's awkward for you guys then well now we got let's submit a writing packet for black mirror season seven disgusting tripod if i was yeah and i thought what would you do if you were who would you bologna you were a guy if i [ __ ] a bunch of baloney then that could maybe make like a centaur cow is bologna all cow no you know i think it would be not it would be like a griffin right it's probably a bunch of [ __ ] it would be so many yeah it's like pig pork it's pork chicken and beef yeah it'd be a pork chicken cow man and probably bones and and lots of bones you'd be creating a vision of death wow wow yeah probably like get back you should [ __ ] baloney wow yeah wow that's nice yeah i think i could use one one line i know if we introduce the show yeah i just don't really like where we're at we'll introduce yeah introduce the show and we'll do it one last time just one last time okay um yeah hey everybody welcome to the tripod today we are talking about getting [ __ ] down that's right cut out everybody the stuff in the middle and just use the intro so we got ourselves an episode that's right so the dick down episode man wait a minute how's it going i want to hear that guy talk more about what it's like to get dick down yeah sometimes you put on a lot of candles yeah you make yourself nice and cozy like a banana oh really yeah pajamas yeah you feel it you invite over a god maybe chris hemsworth you offer him an apple or a banana he might choose both and then of course you put on your centaur costume yeah i'm getting the biggest boner of my life right now that's right you're actually people like this show is like the graphic sexual content i would say we're starting to lose people i think we're i think we're believing a lot of uh what we've said this year is here so they probably were like oh i'll listen to this one and then they were so disappointed yeah i was thinking about that i mean someone said something inside hey we're gonna have to cut that but um it is interesting yeah i was wondering what to title this episode and i may title it i think there's a gas leak in the studio if i think about that parentheses eugene yeah i like that i like that title yeah yeah i'll lower case too yeah i mean did someone say eating i did yeah doing that activity tasted like a deli meat which jelly which one would you want it to be are you asking which one it legitimately tastes like yeah yeah now i am oh yes god i guess boris had i guess a nice honey baked ham oh man i love honey it really depends on the person yeah yeah but overall you ever had that chipotle turkey i don't think it's what i don't think the outside is like dusted with orange what do you mean i see you ever have that chipotle turkey yeah it's like that's what you imagined your ass tastes like i'm saying i just was throwing it out there have you ever had it yeah they have like a turkey that it's got like chipotle dust on the outside when you slice it you get a little bit of chipotle dust in the sandwiches quite flavorful i have the perfect answer okay guys remember when you didn't taste like tastes like your favorite dish with just a little ahi tuna on top now i'm back on the crab meat oh yeah just cracking and weirdly i think the way i just said that i think a lot of people would actually agree just like something you really want and you're hungry but there's just like a tiny dash of seafood i think is this the dirtiest tripod episode ever no by far not no it's not by far it was pretty consistently dirty it's close yeah you want to tip it over the edge oh so last bowl question is who has the who's the hottest foot not me i don't think i think it's too weird i was gonna say eugene but you've had some you've put your shove your toes in the heels oh yeah but it has ned's totally beat up by soccer i don't think me but uh oddly enough i do have the highest number of paid subscribers fun only features my only pizza i don't take care of my toenails i'm not mass market i'm niche and i know that keith you've got big feet yeah but i wouldn't say that they're like sexy feet unless you like big feet i think my hotness ends at the ankles miles my feet are [ __ ] up they're big and crazy so eugene is the answer well maybe i have the most conventionally attractive quote i think i know someone with a foot thing and it's not like he's into the prettiest feet it's anything well sometimes he's just like he likes how specific a foot is like ooh that one's got some long toes or ooh that one's like a long toes okay keith yeah that's our answer well it just depends on the i think the mood you know i'll tell you that i checked this diversity lowest wiki feet rating of any of us so i'm not on there wait there's a wiki feed for all of us yes wait what is that it's like it's like wikipedia but instead of info it just ranks feet yeah and you guys have very good scores and my score is not as good so why isn't your score you know it's fine i think we can move on no hey zach you're crying you're crying you're crying zach zack stop crying i do want to see my wiki feed it's time for advice that'll go for miles i feel like we're just cutting it out the most part b-o-n signore hey everybody wrote this one for all the girlies out there see you around my neighborhood [Laughter] [Music] walking around my neighborhood [Music] walk on me [Music] walking around on me i'm with you [Music] three out of the four try guys are on their phones right now we're on wikipedia wait people should know that keith has the highest wiki feed score yeah what is it it's like 4.89 it's almost and i've got the lowest of us at a 4.53 that's still really good i think people just really like feet if they're looking at wiki feet miles here's why it's because this photo of us from this korean here we go yes i was gonna get our attention [Music] [Applause] dig me down in a mazda pull a seat up take me down in my mazda everybody around me with paparazzi shooting photos of my feet in my mazda what's that eat some pasta that's right eating pasta in my mazda sucking my own dick in my mouth that sounds pretty good this feels not far off yeah digging me down an awesome big great musical parenthesis dick me down in uh mazda have you ever wanted um have you ever wanted your hmm you're scrub-a-dub-dub in the club wear a car air freshener as a necklace that's pretty good write that down save that for next week it's the month to be gay and that's why you look at me why'd you scare me down you're just dead i scared me when he said i mean i know why you looked at me it's totally fine i accept it it's the most to be gay so you should use a bathtub tray oh yeah you've used this for a long time isn't it isn't this a repeat i thought you've had a bathtub tray for a long time you're telling me i just got this that you've been watching the grey's anatomy in the term without a bathtub tray my i've been i've been putting the ipad and it's slightly off so i'm kind of looking to the side it should have been your wedding gift i know so i got a bathtub tray why do you have scoliosis [Laughter] herniated dick and so i've been using the bathtub tray well i just got it i haven't used it yet but it seems like a good idea it's bamboo yeah you haven't [ __ ] used it yet i took it out of the box and i just i'm excited for this question does it have ipad space in it it has space for a computer has space for a snack and a couple of they're gonna have space for your crack and what does this flip the ipad like in a little slot yeah there's a little slider and then you put it over and then obviously if you freaking make one wrong move you dunk the whole movie yes sarah will ever act as sort of a flight attendant for your bath experience she does sometimes if i'm already if i'm surprised if i'm submerged already then she'll she'll sometimes bring me a little ice cream or something that's adorable but only if i yell across the house sarah and she's like yes and i say sweetie can you please give me some ice cream i'm already submerged and then she'll have she'll go and get miles i have to repair your full cone and everything how many advices are about bads still not many recently because i hadn't been taking bats and i got back into the game oh so this is aligned it's a return to form return to form yeah it's a return from recently my advices have been i don't even know [ __ ] bat [ __ ] like you know but not bath [ __ ] not bath [ __ ] i took a break [Laughter] when you get penetrated by bananas yeah it's my bath moan my my burp moan i kind of burp in that emo it's always like a you know that's a funny combo of sounds yeah wait everyone tried to burp bones oh my god this episode oh my god that was intense what i liked about miles is though is that it was immediate like i couldn't i tried to do it that fast i couldn't it's not easy if you're at home right now i want you to try and burp moan it's and do it as fast as him i have a lot of practice oh do people listen to this with their parents around i think most people have to listen to this on headphones because it cannot be over someone else yeah wait wait so it was bath bath caddy was your bathroom a bath tray because it's a good month to be gay that's the i want you to use it because it's a rhyme it was a rhyme yeah but okay because it's pride month no no i got that yeah it's is it adjustable yeah so you can adjust the size of it you can kind of like it like slides you're gonna make it like as long as the bathtub could you make it a length wave you could if you wanted to [Music] [Laughter] what if we never ended this episode uh that was my fault what if it was just a hour episode it's because i kept introduced resetting the clock yeah i have a question for you miles what's up do you let sarah see you in the bath yeah what do you mean i just feel a little bashful when i'm in the bath i feel like oh i do agree that i don't think your body is flattering in a bathtub oh you're kind of crumpled up yeah yeah you're you're awake also like you're laying down but then like just a little part of your little man is thinking about the water that floats yeah i'm naked you gotta get taller sides bro yeah obviously we all want deeper tubs ned's got that clawfoot i've seen it he's got a big tub he's got that we all wish dude i would do anything for a cloth i take a bath whenever the earth shakes like a i don't actually have a claw foot you don't i thought you did you free stand or something right that's what youtubers do right they fill tubs up with milk let's do a video called like we filled ned's bathtub with milk eating my own cereal we surprised ned by being submerged in milk inside his bathtub when he came home we jumped out and we're covered in hi in parentheses why aren't you guys doing severe brain content on each other i mean they have a couple rachel said they're mean they're mean i mean and fragile but that's kind of why it's fun you know because she's not expecting it well i don't drop us a comment we [ __ ] on ned's floor drop us a comment if you want some extreme prank content we kidnap ned's children i don't think people do i put ten pigs in ned's yard yeah i like that murdering pigs murdering pigs people didn't really like it when we blew up a bunch of fireworks but that wasn't really a prank that's not a prank no but that was like uh more closely approaching that type of content you should have done fireworks in ned's house yeah that's true and we set off a firework in ned's house i would click on that they love when you emotionally torture me that's true yeah maybe we should do more of that no well not you yeah like nice pranks for you gene we convinced ned that his wife was abducted by aliens prank oh yeah i wouldn't believe that no matter what you said that's why it's a prank i think we're just too lame miles hey oh it's true you don't have to say it though true i found a firecracker in my attic from the previous owners you know what i did with it threw it away submerged it in water and then threw it away because i didn't want it to somehow explode and it's garbage instead of garbage fire somewhere in its future yeah so i submerged in water for a couple of minutes and then i threw in the garbage you know responsible that's responsible keith i was like well i don't want to be the guy we hid firecrackers in keith's attic prank welcome to the tripod uh i have the perfect opening now happy pride month hey i'm assuming this is the one tripod we recognize pride month so everyone the only one everyone go around here at the tripod pride month is one episode everyone go around and say one nice thing about about queer people um yeah we have the tall one keith i i love that the world you know is constantly getting better for queer people uh i know that there's still hardships obviously but i really do love to see them thrive and like you know express who they are it's beautiful also their contributions to pop culture dope as [ __ ] know this [ __ ] and then the married one ned where people inspire me and i think a lot of other people to express yourself and to take more risks when it comes to fashion and visual aesthetic and being fabulous and it's great and the the hairy one i'm gonna get very specific here and say that gay people always be know about music and kylie ray jepson deserve better queer community knows it and then of course yeah the napkin man i'm the napkin guy yes um i think that oftentimes this guy hates gay people he can't even come up with an answer you hear this i can't even go over the name oftentimes actually this is something that i said that got cut that would just didn't make the cut for the that other video but then oftentimes all my friends growing up who were gay had really excellent senses of humor and were often funnier than me because they knew themselves in a way that i did not have to do work to know my own self wow because my personality was sort of given to me and they had to discover theirs mm-hmm wow wow mm-hmm nice why do you like gay people eugene oh because gay people they would say apples bananas why not both why not both and if you go to hawaii they have tiny bananas that are called apple bananas hawaiians are great they're so gay they get really ahead of us they get it welcome to the tripod thanks for being here get the merch do the dance do the song kiss gift kid that is with the official tripod stem song welcome to the tripod we've got a great episode for you today it's going to be really fun we're going to talk about 7 and miles is going to say [ __ ] at least six times is it tripod until next time stay beautiful let me do the intro one more time i think that's a good idea yeah welcome to the tripod you

Channel: TryPods

Views: 88,997

Keywords: tryguys, keith, ned, zach, eugene, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops, podcast, advice, miles, miles nation, secrets, show, talkshow, behind the scenes, youtubers, ramble, audio, video podcast, clip, segment, silly, becky, maggie, you can sit with us, try wives, girls, female, women, commentary, garrick bernard, kelsey darragh, movies, tv

Id: ScEFphrwtlU

Length: 63min 45sec (3825 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 23 2022