Doin' It On Your Best Friends Couch - You Can Sit With Us Ep. 95

ramble [Music] thank you to brooklyn and squarespace for sponsoring this episode hello and welcome to you can sit with us i am matt why you sound like an ai version of yourself you don't like that no i don't like it try again roundtable i'm trying to be as creepy as possible it worked while you slowly pet emma welcome to this week's episode of you can sit with us is that better now you sound like delilah hello good morning welcome to you can sit with us i'm matt here with becky hello maggie hey rachel hi and our pixie pixel duo over here and today we are talking about what are we talking about gabbing we're gabbing chatting we're kiking about you know what we're watching what's going on in life living without la people and you know going to coachella all that fun stuff coachella weekend one aka the best weekend to stay in l.a no people no traffic no lines truth or truth no problems have you guys ever gone to coachella i have not i've been once once oh my gosh i i can't even believe it's been almost how many years math math almost seven eight something like that yeah well how old i was i think i was a freshman in college and i went with a couple girlfriends and i recovering afterwards i didn't realize how much dust there is and in the desert i don't like being hot i don't like being dusty i had a fantastic fantabulous time but i don't think i need to go back but you love music i love live music and i think that i get overwhelmed with coachella weekend because it's so much more than just a music festival so there's like festivals outside of the festivals i think if i ever were to go back i think i'd be completely happy just like booping around all the other exterior parties and not actually going into coachella i was talking to zach's sister who said that she barely watched any like well she was working she was working most of the weekend and she said that she barely even saw live music and it's such a big ginormous festival because we do go to music festivals at like as a family um pretty often um and i think i just like smaller festivals i think it's just less i don't feel like i need to be in like 8 000 different places at once so for those of us who have never been what are the festivals outside the festivals are they like drinking food are they yeah a lot of companies will throw their own events but like revolve had like concerts outside of coachella in their own like little festival i feel like i would have just a content weekend just booping around there and just going home because the in order to get out of coachella unless you're not camping airbnb uh ubering is very hard shuttling logistically it's very hard to get in and out i'm so not aware people camp at coachella there's a lot of glamp sites that pop up too oh you could even take an airstream where where is there like well so like the coachella festival is in palm springs but it's actually almost like an hour from palm springs it's like pretty far it's like pretty close to salty and out there it's literally just like golf courses nothing you know just like land desert i mean there are desert communities and golf course communities and stuff but it's pretty barren so it's closer to like palm desert than it is to downtown palm springs further oh palm desert and palm springs are kind of touching oh where did you stay when you went did you stay in cold springs and then take the shuttles or did you camp did you i think i just stayed in a hotel close by with two girlfriends we like split a king bed and left it actually that's the freshman year of college story if i've ever heard one yeah it was a blast we had a lot of fun yeah i have been seeing on social media like all the external parties that look just like lit just like so much food so much music yeah so much drinking yeah i'm sure so many pictures all the displays experiential blah blah yeah i heard there was like three times the amount of people not they were really making up for like three years or two years lost so there was a lot a lot i feel like coachella is just as much about the grams you get as it is about the artist who you go here it's like people are showing up for the pictures right yeah and since there were so many people this year i'm just so glad that they had the vaccine chats that they required testing that they encouraged anyone to wear masks oh wait they did literally nothing yeah there were no requirements of any kind so every time you see those big groups of people at the coachella this year no super spreader nothing nothing you got to get checked for your vaccine card at a movie theater yeah that's true you don't have to get checked at one of the largest festivals of all like of the year yeah you know outdoors people may feel more safe even though it might not be ding-dong i remember march 2020 when we were like closing down the office and the city and everything that people were like coachella might be cancelled it was like this is so serious coachella might be canceled that was like the barometer of like how serious serious the pandemic was the coachella barometer yeah i think people are just like oh yeah this is gonna last a couple months huh yeah no two weeks max you're right you're right that's what we thought we'll just close it down for two weeks i've never been to coachella uh festivals are very hot to me i'm gonna get sweaty and stand in the line and i'm wondering like if uh and i think we can broaden it up to not just coachella but festivals in general you're a festival goer what's a day in the life of it because it feels like you're like well there's concerts but there's always these parties and whenever i hear about an exclusive hollywood party i think there's no way i'm getting in i have to wait in the line how much line waiting is there what's the a day in the life of a festival like this okay what time do you start drinking i'd like yeah also is everyone blacked out i would say a lot of the people that go to coachella don't get there till a lot later i mean there are there is not as many people during the day than there is at night i mean coachella is like very much unique in that way because i go to other festivals and i'm there by like 2 p.m till like 10 p.m ready to go spring and spry um but it's typical yeah what's your festival day look like you wake up you wake up you have some breakfast you have a big big breakfast as becky's gone to outside lands with us we usually fill up uh pretty uh pretty well and then i don't know i feel like when we have gone to festivals in the past we try and make sure that there's like an easy escape route we usually stay in an air b walk airbnb walking distance because i think that is a big stressor okay how far in advance do you have to book that well years year a year in advance so should we book coachella 2023 housing right now i don't even know what that looks like yeah i don't know i i feel like i don't like being that hot when i go to festivals because i like to dance so i feel like coachella is not it's not for me yeah i feel like i'd go maybe in another maybe in a few i feel like we had an opportunity to go like two days before the the weekend started and zach and i looked at each other and we were like should we do this should we do this we're like no we're not mentally ready we're not we can't it's show up in converse and shorts ready to go no pictures taken please [Laughter] i'm just here for the men's um but usually there's water in one tiny little area of the festival that you have to kind of like line up like cattle we were gonna have a couchella party and we're like we're gonna put like one little water station in like the farthest room and you have to go over there and you have to get in line to get your water um a lot of eating food at these festivals yeah you're snacking you're top buying all day you'll get like little bites to share and luckily a lot of the i feel like when i went to coachella the food scene wasn't as big and when i went to like outside lands and stuff they didn't have as many food vendors they've really tried to bring in a lot of local vendors yeah and i remember i can't remember but i think it was like plastic water bottles when i had first gone so the festival grounds would just be like as you were walking out a mess it like made you wanna just die inside at the amount of plastic that's just everywhere i feel like restaurants i follow in la were at coachella this weekend yeah yeah street oyster co i saw you it was like wow good for them they have a great lobster rolls yeah nice lobster roll in the in the desert in the desert yum close to the sea fish that's what i'm looking for hot fish and then hot tunes so you're tapas saying you're lightly drinking throughout the day do you ever leave the festival or leave like in general festivals do you ever leave and come back if there's someone you want to see or do you like you think you're starting your day and you stay there you start your day and you stay there because usually those who are coming into the festival it's festivals are big they have to have multiple stages and the entrance is gosh when you hit like the border of where you're going to the actual heart of the festival it probably takes you like at least 30 minutes unless you're just like trapped just walk in just walk in you need to get your you need to go through security you need to make sure you have your tickets or wristbands or whatever it's a lot it's a hole you usually bring a backpack because you usually need layers wherever you're going and your hand sanitizer your chapstick don't forget your chapstick and your camera maggie's perfect festival bag oh let's see um i have these like dissolvable hand soap thingies because usually the bathrooms don't have hand soap and yeah that's fun to hear yeah there's not becky is more we just shouldn't go out in l.a for the next like months right everyone needs to stay home because people aren't washing their hands yeah that would be my nightmare i mean so i so have you been to those water stations where you have to like pump the water out some hit or miss sometimes there's soap sometimes there's no soap all right so you got soap i got soap i got uh an extra little cover up for sure i got chapstick what else do i have what else is in there man candy probably a snack a protein bar because i am always hungry and i have a fear of going hungry anywhere i go probably a carrot a carabiner with a water bottle uh-huh what else a polaroid camera no i feel like that's too clunky you got to go light okay i mean i'm sure you have your wallet some tampons yep because you never know yeah do you remember we went to austin city limits together a couple years ago with my brother and sister-in-law and we saw brandy carlisle and it was really early in the day and we were sitting on a uh on the grass and when we got up we saw someone's wallet and all of us were like oh my god someone lost their wallet keith picks up the wallet takes out her id and just starts looks for her screaming her name at the top of his lungs he's like susan he did save her i would be so embarrassed to do that but go keep wow savior idea so i think something to keep your wallet in like a backpack or purse or a very entire back pocket yeah i don't like to carry that much zach and i usually will have one backpack and we try and consolidate everything into one so we can switch off who's carrying it yeah well that's nice that's smart yeah how do you um plan your day by the like if you have two artists that you want to see at the same time do you 50 50 them or you like yeah we have to go see this person we're skipping the other person it's hard sometimes they will put they tr it depends on where the stages are how far the walk is is it easy or hard to get to uh how much do they overlap but it's happened a couple of times where we'd have to like split the difference and like run to the next stage but depending on some people go to music festivals for the experience some people are like die hard there for the music zach and i lean more towards wanting to actually see like as many people as we can so we're usually running doesn't that mean that you're like really far back though you know you're like that's fine we don't like to be crunched up to the front you don't smell their sweat are you a mosh pit kind of girly no no mosh pits no mosh pits not for me if i see one forming i will politely leave i accidentally got into a mosh pit for memphis in may when i was in high school and we were down front i can't even remember for who but someone crowdsurfed over me and we were like in this mosh pit we were like it was my best friend emily and i and we were like maybe 16 17. and the rachel marshall i know in the smosh pit and the guy crowd surfing his foot came down and hit my head and i feel like i kind of like blacked out a little and came too and emily was like we have to leave we're gonna die i was on the outside of a mosh pit once at warp tour that's stressful r.i.p um but yeah it was for against me and someone just like on the edge just like whapped back there hannah just got me right in the face and i was like i hate this it's not like crazy sunburn cause it's like 18 are you looking to upgrade your me time enter brook linen comforters in chief and creators of the softest most luxurious home essentials perfect for relaxation and they work directly with suppliers to cut out the luxury markups so that those savings go back to their customers so you can get incredible products at a reasonable cost if it's your first time trying brook linen you should definitely check out their lux sheets that's actually what keith and i have on our duvet it's super comfortable super soft feels buttery smooth we have the brooklyn and lux duvet cover it is absolutely amazing it's so easy to wash so easy to put on and feels super comfortable and this week brooklyn's biggest sale of the year is here with 20 off everything listening after the sale you can still save visit brooklyn.com and use promo code sit with us for twenty dollars off your purchase of a hundred dollars that's b r o o k l i n e n dot com promo code stick with us [Music] guys if you are looking to start a side hustle you've got to look at squarespace they have all the tools you need to establish your brand build and engage with an audience share content and sell products squarespace will provide you with an online presence in an age where it's really important to have one i have actually used squarespace for my own website and i gotta tell you guys it was probably one of the easiest things that i did running my own business yeah i actually loved going to your website because you were able to connect your social media accounts with your website so i could easily go in between the website and your instagram or your pinterest which i found super helpful they just made it super mobile friendly and they had a ton of custom templates so even from the get-go i could get started with one of the best websites that i could possibly have check out squarespace.com you can sit for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code you can sit to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain i always get really stressed out being on the edge of a mother pitch because you never know when the person's just going to jump backwards so you're kind of just like trying to watch the like the performer or the band and you're kind of have one eye on the mosh pit so i usually just leave i'm like i can't deal with this much stress move back move back too much yeah i've got stuck in a mosh pit once i was like making my way and i think it was like chiyoto's which was like the opening song just started with like raw and then everyone just started running and i was like i have to get energy i have to go i have to go are you sad you didn't get to see your girl yola i was so sad but i actually coachella streams weekend one and you can watch everything within the last i think 12 or 24 hours so we did get to watch a lot of people before bed which was great yeah so we were like dancing took a lot of silly videos like very close up to make it look like we were there to all our friends in front of the tv it was really fun loved if you had a music festival what would you name it great question and who's headlining who's headlining great question [Music] i really want miley to headline a festival i've been like itching for her too i feel like she's in the works but she just did acl last year here but it was so quiet yeah they didn't really promote acl at all yeah shawn mendes went to go see her and he didn't invite you could have been there what would i call my music festival magapalooza yeah i'd have to marinate on it i feel like i feel like title name is very important so i take this very seriously and would it be in a more temperate climate your music festival yes yeah where's your ideal location i feel like san francisco i like san francisco probably in like outside mags outside outside my house although it gets very cold at night there's something idyllic about like golden gate park at night and how they light the trees and everything i really like it i haven't been to any other bigger festivals on the east coast i'm sure there's i haven't been to lala i haven't been to bonnaroo i'm sure there's plenty of places do they have music festivals on the east coast yeah they have like gov ball but i think it's in like in a parking lot this year yeah that's just angela i feel like they get like less and less as you go like california has like a bajillion yeah and then you go slightly outside you have vegas and austin and then a little bit further and you have lala and bonnaroo yeah i'm like but what happens when you cross ohio is there like a big pennsylvania music festival that we don't know about i mean might as well find out let's go let's go let's go let's start now let's just road trip we'll go to all the music festivals and we'll document it along the way easy yeah no problem no problem so fun guys we'll just be gone for the next nine months don't worry about it you'll be so dead it just takes everything out of you you'll easily walk like 30 000 steps if you hang out with us it's just good cardio yeah yeah and the dance thing yeah great cardio yeah dance dance dance all the serotonin boost that you need um so we're all attending magchella we've decided mad con uh mags maggie's governor governor's ball maggie's ball bowie's ball yeah but we would definitely have a tent where we gave advice at those um [Music] on a megaphone the smooth transition it was incredible that he did you just come up with that on the spot so much i did um i'm a genius yeah so at our festival tent someone has asked us this is an email that rainey found for us and she prefaced it by saying this one's really good so you're really building it up so get buckle up hello ladies and gentle if you can sit with us my name is emma and i'm a college sophomore in connecticut first of all i want to say thank you for having such an amazing podcast that i can listen to and laugh at when i go in my min when i go on my mental health walks i have a story that i want to hear your opinion about so i live in a really small dorm room so small that i needed to loft my bed in order to have space for my desk dresser etc girl i have friendly been there yes same and because my bed is so high up i thought it would be nice to get a small couch where my friends and i could hang anyways for my birthday which is only about one week after school started in the fall oh so she's an older sophomore my parents were nice enough she's a mature sophomore uh my parents were nice enough to get me a beanbag couch for my room that is adorable it was super comfy and i was so excited not too long after i got the couch a friend of mine who was having some roommate problems she lived in another building wanted to have her boyfriend visit but couldn't bring him into her room she asked if they could hang out in my room to watch a movie since i had this new couch i was a little hesitant but i said yes because i'm a people pleaser to my core later i later found out through a drunken conversation that they did not in fact watch a movie and proceeded to have sex on my brand new couch while my other three roommates were in the other room with a door closed might i add all of this was all caps during the middle of the day she acted like it was no big deal and said they put blanket down whose blanket but i never really got an apology and we're still friends i feel like my privacy was violated now every time i see the council i know i am reminded of this moment mind you it is now almost april and this happened in september so i'm a little traumatized to say the least would love to hear your opinion and discussion on this on the pod oh my god emma emma emma emma baby girl oh no no girl guys what do you think i i like that they put a blanket down yeah yeah but that was rude it's rude but i feel like it's college and what do you what should you expect you know what i mean it's rude but i'm also not surprised when your friend's like can we watch a movie in your room you're like no please don't have sex in my room go have sex in your room i also feel like if you're gonna have sex in your friend's room you should be close enough to be able to say hey we're gonna have sex on your couch is that okay we'll put a blanket down we'll bring our own blanket and we'll put it down and we'll make sure no one else is home would you let me have sex on your couch becky if i told you that i mean honestly the one in our living room she's like no we need it we need more people that was a no sitting on it um yes if you put a blanket down that you brought from your own home and you closed the blinds and the cats weren't like watching you i would never do it we don't let them watch people you should assume that the dorm rooms are disgusting and yeah they've been there for years how much sex do you think has happened yeah all over yeah but it's like but it's a beanbag couch but she can't look at it anymore how do i suck on a beanbag that is those are good questions if you're 19 and willing there's a way there's a way well i think you should definitely talk to our friend and be like hello hello we're close enough for you to have had sex in my room so and may i remind you of the premise of college is you have roommates and everyone's having sex in their room you're you're having sex where your roommate essentially sleeps yeah at other times when you're not having sex it's true like the amount of times and i'm very sorry to them because they listen to this podcast but the amount of times i have heard all my college suite mates having sex is a lot and i was like oh i shouldn't be here right now i'm gonna go let me just did you guys ever do the headphones yeah of course i had to like write a paper sometimes or you just go to the library or you're like oh oh right okay goodbye yeah yeah but i've got courtesy i feel like it's always about the courtesy of being like by the way that and her other roommates in the other room in the middle of the day the middle of the day part that is not your middle of the day bothered her so much was funny to me i'm like it's college no time no rules but they're also not her roommates it's like one thing if you are living in the same quarters with people because you know things happen and you have to learn to live with other people but those aren't your people yeah yeah but maybe they are her people like my freshman year i was really close with a couple of sweets who i had it i had a solo room the dream nice crazy um but you know i was like in those suites like you know 10 hours out of the day or whatever because those were like my friends maggie's point is it is lower risk for the friend right because she doesn't have to deal in that living situation that's true right so she's kind of what would you have done if you were in college and it was your roommate's friend so you're not emma who wrote in you're the roommates that are in the other room with the door closed here did they hear this squish squish squish squish did they hear it i mean it's probably it seems like they might have i don't know i didn't really my college didn't have like there were like a couple suites where you had like a a main area but i never like lived in them or had friends who lived in them we always lived in the ones where your beds were next to your couch and you all live together we all had like main areas where you could hang out that was like a kitchen living room situation oh my last two years i shared a room and it was a smaller room but we both had twin beds with desks on the ends and i remember falling asleep one night and my roommate had her boyfriend over and they had sex right next to me well i was just laying there and i panicked and i didn't know what to do and i let them finish i should be asleep and i let them finish and then like five minutes later they started again and i was like guys please stop and it was very you said it i did and then what did they say they were like and they went and they went to sleep and then it was a very uncomfortable morning oh my god they should not have done that now i was like gonna let it go the first time and i was like it's happening again yeah no yeah i know i mean back to the question at hand back to the question well i for me i wouldn't ex like it's college i feel like everyone's doing stuff that wouldn't bother me but the fact that it bothers her means that she should have a conversation with her yes yeah absolutely and not in a mean way but just be like hey you know blah blah this bothered me i didn't like that yeah it was a little disrespectful to my roommates i'm so confused as to why the friend didn't have sex with her boyfriend in her room she goes to this college she has a room well she said she couldn't said this she'd roommate your shoes or something yeah is it because she's having sex in front of her roommates too much let me see what are these issues let me go back to what she said exactly about why the friend wasn't there or couldn't go because these two people are not roommates no no she was having roommate problems and she wanted to have her boyfriend visit but couldn't bring him to her room because of her roommate probably because of the room so it kind of sounds like she's maybe being inconsiderate all around she has roommate problems she had sex in his room without maybe that's why she's having a roommate yeah that's what i'm saying maybe it would be so good for her if emma like talk to her about it because she could work out some of her friend issues when she's like oh you guys don't like this yeah so i think just an open and honest conversation and then if you're ever gonna stay at someone's room you gotta be respectful of the space yeah and the other people out yeah that's the other thing don't get caught yeah you don't have a conversation about you take that blanket and you put it in the washer and you never speak of it again yeah and you wash it dry clean that beanbag cover then you buy emma some flowers and a nice bottle of wine thank you for letting us watch a movie in your room it was delightful have a nice wonderful i don't know college is a weird time emma i'm with you yeah yeah close quarters lots of and so horny everyone's so horny it's not not everyone else's college experience that's just rachel just rachel okay let's redact that never overworld well emma we hope that could help you in your in your non-roommate but friend journey let's just talk to her it sounds like they did already talk because she said she didn't even apologize she didn't think it was that big of a deal so i think maybe she just needs to be more direct with what was bothering her because you don't know what you don't know yeah yeah so this other girl could be like i think you know it's totally fine to have sex on people's bean bag couches and i think if her roommates heard go into other rooms like if maggie and i lived together and maggie's friend matt had sex in maggie's room and i heard it i would be like peeved with maggie i'd be like your friend was having sex while we were like trying to do our homework at 2 p.m matthew matthew it was very uncomfortable just giving you more life experience that's what college stories learn how to be in the real world yeah you know deal with everything that happens deal with the people having sex next door to you during the day probably these apartments have thin walls you know that's true that's true that's true all right okay thanks emma that's a good question we're sorry that happened to you please love your beanbag chair again yeah you gotta work it out it's probably a cute cute little maybe you should have sex reclaim the beanbag have sex on the beanbag chair make new memories and then when you look at the couch you'll be like oh oh i remember when i boned on that yeah you know boned by yourself who knows who knows you do you emma yeah are you suggesting that emma sits on her own couch and yeah i'm okay yeah okay i am i know watches a movie and watches a movie alone alone solo time yes this question is mainly for becky but i would love to hear other perspectives as well yeah yeah yeah it's for becky the reason this question is for becky is because that i know she and keith met in college i'm pretty young i have a similar situation with my boyfriend we met at 18 and 19 and have been together for almost five years and then this face so i will be turning 24 this year and he will be turning 23. last year we got our first apartment together and we just renewed our lease so things are going well i'm still working on my undergrad and made it clear to him that i don't want to get engaged before i graduate but soon after that he is going to propose this isn't wishful thinking we've had extensive serious convos about our future love to hear anyways as happy as i am with my boyfriend and sure of our future together i never expected to meet the person i was going to marry quite so young i definitely expected to be meeting this person more around this time in my life like seriously i thought high school sweethearts were silly and never did i expect to basically be one now to be in the situation i'm in sometimes i catch myself feeling like i missed out on being a single adult um same thing i guess i'm wondering if becky you ever had similar feelings when you and keith got married or if it's normal or if this is maybe a sign that i should give it a couple more years honestly at this point the only thing that would really change are our tax situations and we would be legally married but other than that we already lived together have pets together and have built a very happy domestic life and it's not like he's the only man i've ever been with either told you college is horny i lived quite a free-spirited life in my high school days and the year of college before i met my boyfriend so i'm not afraid to miss out on any other experiences i just don't know getting married 25 26 was not really how i saw my life going for me should that matter that much thank you so much i truly enjoy listening to the podcast learning more about you ladies and matt um deeper than just what's featured on try guys channel it feels like you're my besties elise the planner who didn't plan for this [Music] adorable sobex um i think it's totally normal to be like well you're surroun if you're someone who has been with your partner since you were younger i think it's very normal to look at your friends and see their experiences and be like oh dang i feel like i've missed out on something but then for me i always just was like oh but like the whole point of what they're doing like if they're like on tinder or like going out on a bunch of dates is to find what you've already found yeah so good way to look at it it's hard to be the first of your friend group to do anything super major you know yeah just because you're so influenced by your peers that if you're the first person you know taking on a super serious job or buying a house or having kids or whatever it can be a little like oh oh oh should i be doing this i feel like she puts a lot of stress on planning yeah she's a planner you can't really plan what happens to you in life right like so many different things are out of your control so you can't really plan on getting married at a certain time you can really plan on meeting someone at a certain time just like high school girls don't know that we map out our lives i feel like we're like that's true it's going to be engaged it's a good lesson you can't it's not going to go according to playing you 26. plan you can't plan out your whole life miles you got married early yeah what up what about miles do you do you have thoughts on this oh yeah well i think that uh i mean i definitely had my fun so um i just don't want to be alone over here on myself no look here's what i'll say i think that um i mean i dated a lot of people so did sarah both very proudly um we dated lots of different people so i felt like i got the lay of the land in an easy way and then i the thing i always say to people that feels not real was just like i met sarah and it was obvious it's not like i think it's like it should be pretty obvious i always have friends that have like totally messy up relationships like yeah well i was dating his ex and then you know his mom actually like sued my dad and it's like this feels like it's so much work to get a relationship off the ground like it really shouldn't be that hard you kind of will know you'll know because it'll be comfortable or at the very least like it'll become comfortable and it sounds like she knows yeah it sounds like she knows i think she's probably if she's 24 then i think she's at a very normal stage of seeing your friends go out struggle and struggle yeah i think you're like used to seeing your friends do all these other things where if like they got together when she was 19 i think she said i was 21 like the week i turned 21 is when keith and i got together so i did feel like i missed out on the going out to bars yeah i'm single but i never felt like i don't know you're not like that jealous of what's going on you're more just like oh that looks fun but i think it's important to remember that everyone's on their own journey too right because you're like always comparing yourself to your peers and your friends and just because they're doing something doesn't mean you need to be doing it and vice versa so yeah really be proud of what the journey that you're on in the steps that you're taking there's also though if you have these thoughts there's no rush like you don't have to get married in the next couple years just because you're with your person you feel like waiting until it's closer to when like maybe your peers will be getting married and that's more fun just wait you can all yeah you can get married yeah especially you don't have to get married you never have to be with your person but especially if you feel like there wouldn't be that many differences other than taxes well so the other thing in addition to taxes because i'm very morbid and this is why i really wanted to get married it's one step darker one time darker so pull the plug if you're that's exactly what it is if you are married or if you're not married or in like a domestic or a civil union you are not allowed to make medical decisions about your partner if they're in a life-threatening situation so like if i was on life support my parents would be in charge of whether or not that's why was it terri schiavo in like florida her husband and her parents were like suing each other oh my god over this like poor woman who was like brain dead at that time yeah so i was like i never want to be like i'm a very like firm dnr kind of yeah and my parents would never allow that to happen so that is my one step darker for the one benefit of getting married over not getting true yeah yeah jean and i got a domestic partner yes to pull the plug so that yeah so that you could just make me in [Music] but if you're 24 you get married whenever yeah i do feel like the main thing that she's she's concerned about is that she's gonna see her friends having these like fun times and then be like oh i'm missing out on that right that's what i was here's kind of like can't you go out too a hundred percent but also just go out with your friends like you're gonna have friends that have like oh i met this guy and i had this crazy night and it feels like this like euphoric wild thing but the thing you have to remember is that that's one night of going out and being a single person and dating most nights going out as a single person and dating well i guess but uh end with you alone like because you're trying to meet people or and not or both awful first dates and creepy people and like things you regret and situations that are just so awkward you want to cry and like trying to get rid of someone who you're not into like there's so much like bad dating out there too remember that not dealing with that and if the shoe is on the other foot i bet her friends who go on you know who she's like oh they're having these wild fun experiences i bet they're looking at her as like that must be really nice you know what i just want someone who loves me for me yeah and it's i think the benefit too of meeting but i also like have a skewed view of like when when you can meet your partner since my parents were high school sweethearts that was never like implausible to me i was like you could meet him anytime um if you meet your partner young you get to grow up together yeah so you kind of get these sort of shared experiences that you don't necessarily get if you meet older in life you bring different experiences yeah so there's no right or wrong there's no right or wrong just party you can't plan it you can't blame it yeah the comparison is the thief of joy so yeah i mean you can you can live vicariously through their your friends and like listen to their stories be excited with them be outraged with them be embarrassed with them and don't even live vicariously like plan a wild girls trip and go and just you know don't make out with other people but get drunk and hang out with your girlfriends and go to cabo and do whatever yeah you don't have to be an old lady just because you're uh attached young yeah no it's good to spend time apart from your person and to go out and have those crazy times with your friends just because you're in committed relationship doesn't mean you shouldn't like go get too drunk with your friends on a beach vacation yeah exactly yeah come on be an old hag at home all day at home every night watching the news and going to bed by 9pm no obviously you're in your 20s go have fun go to magpalooza live love it all right hey cutie booties love the pod tell will whitworth he's a cutie for me we are not messengers for will whitware thank you very much if he listens to me you should just have today today we'll define love you should just dm him on instagram or something yeah this is not the first permission granted will witness will shout out i've seen so he's a fan fave yeah he is so i'll get right to it i grew up on the east coast living next door to my best friend i 20 she they go to university in canada and my best friend 21 she her just recently moved to california last year for her boyfriend because she got a job out there she really loves the west coast so i'm happy for her to be out there however i am super i super hate her boyfriend and it feels really yucky that she moved her hate is super strong i super hate her boyfriend and it feels really yucky that she moved out there for him he also four out of five he's also four or five years older 24 or 25 which was which to me was the first red flag my friend has been with her boyfriend for two years now and i never truly told her how i feel about her boyfriend for one thing he's very ugly which wouldn't be a problem if his personality made up for it spoiler it doesn't do not read her name if she writes it i know you can't he's a super cringy dude with very little self-awareness and he really thinks he's hot he tries to butt into me and calls her all the time and he tried to mansplain the conflict in palestine to me he's also just an insanely touchy boyfriend to her when i'm around and it makes me very uncomfortable like neck kissing while we're all sitting on the same couch she really wants me to visit but if i did i would be unable to escape from her boyfriend the entire time as they lived together i love my friend she's like my sister but i don't know if i should tell her i'm not a fan of her boyfriend because i know she does feel happy in the relationship thanks for your help and i'm sorry this is so long do i tell her in a nice way how i feel about her boyfriend no no no no don't absolutely can't you don't know kiss in front of other people that is unhinged are you telling me we don't know people who would not kiss neck kiss in front of other people why are you looking at me i would say one of those neck kissers is not in this room that happens listen they're in cabo right now doing just that yeah let them live um you're probably right but you know what i mean it's like yeah we all know people who have your friend has to figure things out for themselves if you're interject yourself into their relationship and kind of judge it your friend's just gonna get mad at you and probably gonna kind of force you out a little bit and i only think like if something is really like actually like abuse you absolutely have to be honest with the people in your life but if it is just like your opinion that they are cringy and quote-unquote very ugly that doesn't serve your friendship yeah it doesn't sound like there's anything actually wrong with their relationship that she's seeing like it would be different if she's like i really hate the way he talks to her and that you know makes me feel uncomfortable but if the guy's just a weirdo like some people are weird and that's just like if you're uncomfortable around them kissing maybe it says a little bit more about you than her too well i don't know let me lick maggie's neck and see how everyone feels um turned on no but if you if you have you know if you have issues with that i mean there are things you can talk to your friend about that like okay you guys are really touchy feely my mom's right here like please keep in your pants you know yeah there are conversations you could have about those types of things like your tongue is back in your mouth yeah aren't you joking about her boyfriend yeah always start with a joke i'd be like mom and dad i'm right here yeah please please please good guys so if it's just the three of you hanging out that is uncomfortable and i do think you can tell your friend about that but i would not say super hate or very ugly to your friend yeah but she's gonna she's gonna super hate you yeah um have you guys ever disliked a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend yes i think i found a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend like a little annoying right but not i was correct oh what happened i was correct one of my best friends boyfriends and i just didn't get good vibes from him mm-hmm i knew because he's super ugly i don't know he was average i just didn't like the way he treated my friend and i like knew she was very committed to him at the time so i was supportive and then he ended up like kind of cheating on her and i was like i didn't get good vibes from him from the first place she's like why didn't you tell me i was like you would have resented me i just had to let it play out and let you figure it out because if you come in and try and meddle you kind of just like have to let the person get to that that way unless it's like abuse i'm talking just cringe level so we don't have to keep prefacing the uh if you're in an abusive situation yeah definitely tell your friend we're just doing that blanket statement over the rest of this yes now the conversation is only going to be focused on cringe a cringy boyfriend he's not doing anything that's actually bad in terms of your friend he just annoys the out of you yeah yeah there was just comments that he would make and i was like this is foreshadowing this is foreshadowing i feel like there's not been a lot of significant others that i've hated but just been really indifferent to you know with like okay they don't really add to our conversations they don't add to the friend group they don't really add to your life which is that's not really what you want for your friend right you want them to feel like yeah valued and put up and loved and you know feel like they're the relationship is bringing them somewhere up instead of just kind of stagnating yeah have you ever felt different the other way has anyone ever told you that they didn't like your partner yes is that all of us and eugene yes yes free eugene you know eugene you had a friend was a dorian no she would she wouldn't tell she wouldn't lie to me shout out to dorian shout out to dorian yeah no lie but like when your friends tell you stuff then you i mean you're you it's just automatic shut down you're not gonna listen to them yeah is that what you did when it happened your friend said yeah i don't like your boo-boo yeah you just denial yeah yeah you just go in denial and then you're like oh well i don't i don't like you anymore yeah yeah yeah how about you rach has either happened no one has never not liked my boyfriends because they've all been real chill at least they haven't told you and say to your face i don't think so but you're right maybe um but i did have when we first graduated college a good friend of ours who was like one of the best friends of my college boyfriend got engaged to this woman really fast who none of us liked and i believe when i was with a group of friends when he texted us the engagement photos and i are like the little look and uh i immediately go oh my god he's ruining our lives they got divorced like two years later i was totally right they got married the whole relationship was like three years in our twenties and i was like no i don't know what happened there but he lost his mind for a minute whoa wow i know anyways it's fine it's he didn't ruin my life as i said that was probably it hyperbole but they're just still ruminating tell you they don't like your partner i think after the oh yeah actually during the race oh yeah oh yeah how did you how did you react it was like during a part where i was arguing with that person a lot and i was like yeah you're right it was like a high school boyfriend who was like very manipulative very controlling he didn't like me seeing girlfriends oh no that was like flip tables if i was like talking to another boy red black red flag red flag very intense and so when your friend told you you were like oh you're right i was like yeah but i was also like very close to his family and his grandparents and i'm just like such a people pleaser that i put up with it for like years and i was like years years oh my gosh it was like a call it was like a high school boyfriend that's a long time in high school yeah yeah basically decades in heights did you get mad at your friend when she told you this no no i don't think so because we were because i like knew i was like yeah he sucks deep down you knew it was the truth he was he sucks but like what do i do yeah emotionally just like very manipulative um yeah well you know you live you learn you live and you learn and they let me get into my journey they finally let me like they played it out and i finally got fed up and i was like i'm done that's it that's enough well that's good yeah and then sometimes when i get together with my high school friends they're like oh god i'm so glad that you met zach he's such a sweetie remember your awful high school boyfriend he said that bar really was really concerned for you for a hot second oh my gosh yeah oh yeah there was that last that last question she had would you go and visit you would you go visit if you are so bothered by their boyfriend's ugliness and cringiness i think i'd go and visit still and hope that he's at work and we're going to have our own time plan a vacay with your friend somewhere else somewhere neutral yeah or bring another friend with you so it's not the three of you together yeah you know the dinner would be different stay in an airbnb don't stay with your friend and her boyfriend because you don't want to go just to be mad the whole time or like yeah do things you think that he wouldn't be interested in joining pedicures [Laughter] never know maybe he's an involved man yeah i would still go visit i would just yeah tell your friend i came here to visit you set yourself up for success yeah playing a little mini itinerary yeah but eventually you have to be honest with your friend in some regard you don't have to say that he's ugly and that he's cringy but you could say that you're like a little uncomfortable yeah when they're neck kissing yeah you could say that or say like reason when i'm coming i really want to spend good time just you and i because i really cherish your friendship and that one-on-one time is really important yeah yeah i think that's good yeah that's all fair game all right advice tent at magpalooza yes that's eliza close yeah no more entry i feel like a good solution i've found for that is you just introduce that person to really awesome single people and don't don't you're the anti-matchmaker well people are so sensitive like you said you just shut down but i found that like with other friends of ours we're like we hate this person's you know uh boyfriend or whatever yeah we just bring them around really fantastic hot single people and you're like oh and then do they dump their boyfriend and get with the hot single people has it happened with the but i think it's just getting them out of the isolation of like sometimes people build their whole world see what's out there and even though the person is shitty it's like you have you're so comfortable that it's like you know so just getting them out into the world to be like oh yeah like we can have fun without without your little neckbeard boyfriend because sometimes people are like well i've been with this person for so long sorry like they use time i can't get started again yeah yeah yeah yeah you can always start again no it's not life's long exactly that's what the first unless you die you can always pull the plug yeah it's long till it's not life's long unless you die from you can sit with us thank you for joining us today thank you for sitting with us remember to wash your hands use your hand sanitizer pee after sex get vaccinated yeah and like follow and subscribe bye [Music] you

Channel: You Can Sit With Us

Views: 91,489

Keywords: tryguys, keith, ned, zach, eugene, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops, podcast, advice, miles, miles nation, secrets, show, talkshow, behind the scenes, youtubers, ramble, audio, video podcast, clip, segment, silly, becky, maggie, you can sit with us, try wives, girls, female, women, commentary, garrick bernard, kelsey darragh, movies, tv

Id: RwDT_sUAorQ

Length: 54min 40sec (3280 seconds)

Published: Tue May 03 2022