- How old did you think I was? - [Audience Woman] 40. Geez. (audience laughs) (deafening boom) - Nigel Ng! (audience cheers and screams) (club music plays) - Hello Joke Factory. (audience cheers) Wow, happy to be here,
thank you for coming out. I appreciate it. Michelle, Happy Birthday. (audience cheers) Nice. Can't ask how old you're turning,
so how much do you weigh? (audience laughs) Don't wanna answer that?
I'll ask him then all right? - [Jeff] You're not getting anything. - You're not gonna hear that, you want to get blown tonight don't you, so watch what you say. Knock off 10 kilos lah - [Jeff] Peace, peace. - Peace, peace, how long
have you guys been together? You guys are together right?
- [Jeff] Yeah. All right, nice.
- [Boss] No! No? Is this an affair, Michelle? (audience laughs) - What's your name, Michelle's guy? - [Jeff] Jeff. - Jeff, Jeff and Michelle, how long have you guys been together? - [Michelle] Eight years. - Eight years wow. (audience screams) Give it up for them. (audience claps) Married? Dating? - [Jeff] Ahh... (audience laughs) - Wow. What, why did you point at him, what is happening? - [Jeff] Let's just say it's about to. - It's about to. Wow, way to ruin the surprise for her. - [Jeff] I've proposed, so it's fine. - You have proposed already, nice. How, how did you propose? - [Jeff] It was at the
Berjaya Laut Resort. - Berjaya Laut Resort? - [Jeff] Pangkor Laut,
Pangkor Laut, Pangkor Laut. - Pangkor Laut, where's that? (audience laughs) - [Jeff] Pangkor Laut is a beach resort. - My parents go to Berjaya every
year, it's fucking shit so. (audience laughs) - [Jeff] Not this place, not this place. - Not this place? Nice?
- [Jeff] Yes, it's very good. - Was it nice, Michelle?
- [Michelle] Yep. (audience laughs) - Did you say yes? - [Michelle] Obviously. - Oh yay, great. All
right. (audience cheers) That would have been a bit awkward if you said no I didn't,
so try again Jeff. How did you guys meet? - [Michelle] At work. - At work? Okay what did you do? (audience giggles) Prostitute? (audience laughs)
What's with that look? - [Jeff] She was in, I think
she was in Group Communications I was in--
- [Jeff's friend] Wow. - Relax don't heckle your friends, mate. - [Michelle] Ex-boss.
- Ex-boss? (audience laughs) We'll get to you man, why is your ex-boss filming you? Is that why you had to leave the company because he caught you doing something? On top of the photostat
machine or something? (audience laughs) Okay, do you guys still work there? - [Jeff] No.
- No right, okay. Cool, what is a group communication? What is that? That sounds really boring, but lets talk about that. - [Michelle] You want to tell the job. - Yeah tell, tell, boss all
right, fucking boss right there. Put your phone down,
what are you doing man. We can take a photo later. - [Boss] That's what boss
do. Michelle, do it, explain. - She doesn't work for you anymore, boss. What a dick. (audience laughs) I know why she resigned
now. (audience laughs) Man I only know you five
seconds and I thought don't work for that fucking guy. (audience laughs) My God, what's your name, boss? - [Boss] Boss.
- Boss? Wow okay, so you think you're a good boss? - [Boss] Michelle is the
focus, it's her birthday. - No it's focused on you now, all right. After telling her to do shit for you. Are you out with your coworkers right now, are you out with like four women? Holy shit, okay, what's your deal? Okay group communications, what do you do? - [Boss] Communicate. (audience laughs) - He's not doing a very good job at that for someone who does
communications, all right. Nice, and how do you know all these women? - [Boss] We are all colleagues. Colleagues, do you guys like him? - [Women Colleagues Together]
Ex, ex, ex, ex-colleagues. - Ex-colleagues? (audience laughs) Are you, are you guys
unemployed now, is that what? Nobody likes you enough
to work for you, Boss. Ah man anyways, all right
we'll leave this alone, Happy Birthday, Michelle, I hope, have the wedding planned already? - [Jeff] No.
- No? Okay, good luck anyway, it's gonna work out. (audience laughs) Who here has been to the UK to study? I know its a popular Malaysian thing. Nice, where'd you go? - [Student] London. - London, LSE? UCL? - [Westminster Student] No, Westminister. - Westminster? Oh, you fucked up. (audience laughs) That's where the losers go right? Malaysians if you go to the UK to study you have to go to Oxford,
Cambridge, LSE, UCL, all right. Anything else your parents
just go, study UK, study UK. If you go to Warwick they
don't name the university. (audience laughs) Westminster, what did you study? - [Westminster Student]
Business psychology. - Business Psychology, good?
- [Westminster Student] Yeah. - All right. Your parents proud of you? - [Westminster Student]
Yep. (audience laughs) - What do you do now, Business Psychology? - [Westminster Student] No, I'm a teacher. - Teacher? Completely fucked
up there, Jesus Christ. (audience laughs) And do you study in the UK too? - [TAR Student] No.
- No, just here? - [TAR Student] Yeah.
- Which one? - [TAR Student] TAR.
- TAR? Is that good? (audience laughs) Yeah better than Malaysia
University, right, it's UM, UM. Cool man, nice, nice. Do you like living in
London? Its hard being in-- Wow, Jesus, Boss fucking relax,
what are you doing again? - [Michelle] He was in UM. - He was in UM? Yay! (audience laughs) He deserves it doesn't he? (audience laughs) I'm 28 this year and
(audience gasps in shock) What the fuck is that? Do I
look way older or way younger I don't know. What is that reaction? Really I thought you were 55. Jesus Christ, I thought you guys liked me for a second there, you know. What was that reaction? Who went really? Raise your hand so I can see you. (audience laughs) Okay you. Okay why'd you say it? Do I look too old? - [Audience Woman] It's the mustache. - The mustache? Fuck
me. Headline my own show I'd be roasted by the audience member. Oh, shave man, Jesus Christ. How old do you think I was? - [Audience Woman] 40. - Geez. (audience laughs) Wow. That sucks man, hurt my
feelings now, you know. What's your deal man, what's your name? - [Piki] Piki. Sorry? Piki, nice to meet you, Piki. What do you do? - [Piki] Working.
- Your working? Okay. (audience laughs) I assumed that, yeah. As a? As working as a? - [Piki] Business.
- Business? (audience laughs) Drug dealer? Is that what you are? - [Piki] No, no, no, a little bit-- - A little bit, what
drugs? (audience laughs) Meet me later in the bathrooms, all right? Seriously, drugs? Wink, wink. All right so what
business do you do, Piki? - [Piki] Selling clothes. - Clothes? Okay, where? (audience laughs) Can you give answers that are
longer than one word, Piki? (audience laughs) - [Piki] Kenanga. - What? Kenangan?
- [Audience] Kenanga. - Kenanga, is that a place?
- [Audience] Yes! - Sorry I don't know where
is it, Kenanga, nice place? - [Audience] No!
- No? (audience laughs) This is the honest crew here.
You look 40, Kenanga is shit. What is your problem man?
Can we all be friends here? (audience laughs) You guys think you look
great? You look shit too. All right what's your name dude? - [Raymond] Raymond. - Raymond, okay what do you
do that's so fucking great? - [Raymond] I'm a lawyer. - You're a, okay. (audience roars) Touche, Raymond, please don't sue me. You guys are great, I do look 40 actually. Thank you, I'm Nigel
Ng, thank you goodnight. (audience cheers) Thanks for coming out. (club music plays) - Thank you, Nigel Ng! (audience cheers)
