I Finally Kicked Out My Stepmom From My House & Family Is Guilt Tripping Me - Life With Step Family

redditors who have a step family do you like or dislike them how is your relationship with them my stepmother 49 who we all call Mary is a conservative and also does extreme things which I'm not going to delve into right now she got married to my dad and after she moved in she used to force me to diet and tell me that men liked women who did this and that she and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house they are not paying any expenses or chipping in yesterday at dinner I told them my boyfriend was moving in with us and she replied with India which state is he from and I tell her Kerala so she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from Asia and Kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live etc that he can't move into her house and that I need to break up with him as soon as possible I told her that she doesn't end my apartment and if she doesn't like him being in my apartment she can move out she got up crying and rushed into my bedroom third things being thrown around and breaking so I went in and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces I was furious my grandpa passed away and that was one of the only things I had from him I actually snapped told her that she isn't my mother and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things I'm not ashamed of and then kicked her out my dad says that I should apologize and I told him he might as well get out of my house as well boyfriend moved this morning and my actual mom did too these are the only two people who think Mary had it coming my dad called me up an hour ago and told me that I really hurt her with my comments especially the one where I told her she was not my mom and so I blocked him my step aren't caught wind of this and told me I was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my failure of a mother couldn't so my family and my girlfriend's family decided we would spend the coming weeks two months together the more the merrier and all I owned a large house with multiple bedrooms in a secluded area and me and my girlfriend were planning on moving in together anyway so we figured my house was the obvious option the people who are currently staying here are me 29 male girlfriend 24 my parents girlfriend's mom girlfriend stepdad my brother my sister and my girlfriend sister now for the past three weeks it has almost all gone okay in general everyone gets along really well it has been really fun in general apart from my girlfriend stepid-- as you may imagine living with so many people it means you split chores well he does nothing as he is a man and home making is a woman's job apparently homemaking includes traditionally male chores like putting the garbage out mowing the lawn etc now this would be somewhat forgivable for the sake of keeping the peace if he was working from home but he works in construction so there is no working from home meanwhile everyone apart from my girlfriend sister is working from home several hours a day all-in-all besides being a weird lazy idiot he also complains a ton and is just plain rude in general as an example when dinner reserved he expects someone to literally make a plate for him instead of walking over and making a plate himself he tries to order everyone who is younger around he is especially horrid to my girlfriend sister when it comes to that he drinks all the beer and he essentially hugs her living room TV all to himself I could go on for a while but I hope it paints a picture well yesterday it got to a headed dinner I had made steaks on the barbie to serve with dinner the ladies had made and the dude amongst the largest one as he is the man of the house and at that point I lost it I told him given I owned the house pay most of the bills carry my weight around the house etcetera and he does miss all I would be having his taken my own given I'm the man of the house and he is the unemployed lazy loser of the house well he got mad and started yelling at which point I told him he is not staying here and tomorrow he can get lost and guilhom now here is the thing he tried to get my girlfriend's mom and sister to go with him but he was turned down as they want to stay here which means he'll be alone and gas to take care of himself which honestly he is too inept to do and during this time I can't help but feel sort of bad about it I female have a step-sister 25 my mom married her dad about a year ago my stepsister has twins and a cat and dog I've been at her house a couple of times but I never Babis hurt because I'm not good with kids well her babysitter fell through last minute when she was supposed to visit her sick mother-in-law with her husband she asked everyone but I was the only one available I was kind of scared I never babba said before and two toddlers plus two pets sounds like a lot I told her that too but I agreed so that day I spent running behind them trying to walk the dog without losing the kids making lunch and dinner keeping the kids from bullying the cat dealing with tantrums and meltdowns normal babysitter stuff I Babis it from 9:00 to 9:00 to say it was a whirlwind would be an understatement I was exhausted I tried my best to keep the house clean but one of the kids did break a watch I'm not ever sure where he got it from it must have been in a drawer somewhere when stepsister and her husband came home they were grateful that I could come but annoyed about the watch my sister told me it was about 120 euros about 130 dollars and if I would pay her back I told her now she knew I wasn't an experienced babysitter at all I was going all of this as a favor to them and I just spent 12 hours working for free I told her we could go 50 over 50 or that I could pay the difference of the watch and 12 hours of labor but that I won't be paying in full now she thinks I am entitled for breaking something when I was responsible and refusing to pay for it which I guess I can see I think she's a bit unreasonable too so a few months ago I had to deal with my stepmoms boss for some stuff I was doing for my work she ended up asking me some stuff about dealing with divorce as a child and how my mom handled it and she did ask why the divorce happened in hindsight it was an inappropriate question but I've worked with her on several occasions so we were pretty casual acquaintances I straight up told her it was difficult because my dad cheated on my mom with his now-wife it wasn't out of spite I just don't think I needed to lie for their mistakes she was shocked was sympathetic and we finished up our work I don't have the best relationship with my dad and I have no relationship with my two younger half-siblings or his wife well I recently found out that my stepmom was fired after several weeks of her boss treating her poorly apparently her boss was going through a divorce where her husband also cheated my dad's wife was the primary earner and my dad called me saying that I've made providing for their kids difficult and that I shouldn't have taken out my anger at him on their finances I'm of the opinion that I was asked a question and I replied honestly just because my dad and his wife are okay with lying doesn't mean I have to be I told him that and hung up I then messaged him to say that he can only contact me once he stops blaming me for his life turning out crappy due to his own choices was I the idiot I've had conflicting feedback but most of my friends are saying I was just honest when I was young my parents got a divorce in my father shortly afterwards married another woman she had a daughter from another relationship who was 3 years older than me let's call her Anna my mother passed away and her name was Emma na she was a wonderful person kind caring beautiful just amazing in every way I was devastated when she passed and I guess I always knew that if I ever had a daughter I would name her after my mum my stepsister Anna got pregnant at 21 and had a daughter who she named Amina at first I was surprised by the choice of name especially considering it's quite an Arab Muslim name and she doesn't really have any links to the cultural or religious aspect another thing to note is that me and Anna are not close she didn't like me and often bullied me when I was younger after three years I decided to move in with my mum permanently and didn't see my father often but after my mother has passed I moved back with my father anyways in his daughter past when she was 10 months old due to SIDS 10 years later has never had any other children a few months ago I gave birth to daughter and named her after my mother Aminah my husband loves the name as well it is a different spelling but essentially the same pronunciation my father is still married to Anna's mother and we are quite close he was shocked when I told him but understood however a and her mother my stepmom think it's incredibly disrespectful that I've named my daughter Amina I have even gotten a lot of hate from friends of his on Facebook who call me an idiot I believe I have done nothing wrong especially considering I'm not close to enter at all and she will never really be in my child's life whilst I understand the loss of her daughter must be extremely traumatic I've always said that I would name my child after my mother my father has backed me up which has caused some issues with his wife but has told me to reconsider her name I will not be changing her name but I want to know if I'm in the wrong here I've 34 female been married to my husband for two years together for four he has two children and one have a daughter when I met the kids they were in a disadvantaged situation my husband was a single dad who worked full-time a bit out of his depth and relied on his mother for help she spoiled the kids for attention more than anything after I came along I used money from inheritance to help my husband move into a better neighborhood the kids go to a much better school where it was discovered there were two years behind there radiates t was discovered and treated both kids caught up in a year when the kids are with us 50 over fifty custody for all kids I mostly care for them the kids have a healthier diet a better sleep schedule and a better control over technology the kids hated all these changes I don't blame them in the kids eyes they all suck they fought me argued and tried to call CPS to try and live with their mother she 100% supports me and worked with me to make these changes and has implemented some of them in her home I love these kids and will support them and give them the best future I can but I love my daughter more I can't help it looking at a sense different chemicals in my brain than mine it's it's hard what maybe it would be different they were smaller when I met them whatever it is my lizard brain won't love them the same way they have the same opportunities now the same food the same chores the same punishments for wrongdoings my husband complains that I should love them the same full-stop biology is stupid he claims it affects my parenting and that I yell at his kids more I admit I have more patience with my daughter but the kids are all different and I try my best to give all of them the best life am I wrong for loving my kids differently PS the kids don't know I feel this way my stepkids have tried to trick me to saying my daughter is the favorite so I say it's the dog he never talks back lul me and my half-brother have never gotten belong and he would always try to get me in trouble with my dad and Steadman often times successfully well that leads us to two months ago this time he decided to pretend I stole one of his lighters he collects those flip open lighters not sure what they are called of course I didn't but he told my parents and they decided to check out my room and guess what they found on my desk his lighter which he put there himself as a result I got chewed out as usual but this time it was the final drop I had been planning to move in with a good friend of mine for a year by then ever since I turned 18 I'm 19 now and that is what I did I told my parents what I thought if from I told my half-brother what I think of him told my other siblings that I'd miss them and most importantly I took everything I own and moved to my friend that includes the family's box which I bought the desktop which I bought the laptop again mine the switch which is mine the big TV which is mine well you get the picture pretty much every expensive piece of electronics is mine apart from their phones since I moved out my brother got figured out as he tried to pull the same stuff on my youngest sibling at which point my parents really started second-guessing him since like me my sister told them she didn't take anything and my other sister said she saw him sneak into her room from what I heard it was giant fight and they almost kicked him out meanwhile I got a ton of apologetic messages from my parents which I have yet to respond to well three weeks ago certain stuff happened and now they are all stuck inside and no one has anything to do because I took everything tempers have flared and my siblings hate said brother now and my parents are angry as well and my parents have been begging me to move back in and yesterday I received a message from my half-brother also begging me to come back and saying sorry am I wrong for essentially making everyone hate my brother and not moving back in knowing full well their lives will suck as a result when I was young my mother got with an amazing man I'll call him John John and I have sort of a father-daughter relationship everyone knows me as his daughter everyone knows him as my dad he came into my life at a very difficult time in my life and he supported me 100% no questions asked here is the problem though I'm getting married I asked John to walk me down the aisle and he was beyond excited everyone has asked me if I intend on doing a father-daughter dance and I kinda am except I want mildest half-brother to be the one to do the dance with me he's pretty much my dad's mini they look the same they act the same and we are super close this was something my dad always talked about he wanted that special dance with me he even had the song picked out I don't want to share that with John but I still want to do it in remembrance of my dad when I told people that my brother will be doing the dance with me people acted like I was the worst person alive if I'm having John walk me down the aisle as my dad he should get the special dance too I talked to John about it and he completely understands he even gifted me the small charm thing with my dad's picture that goes on my bouquet that says I know I'm far away but I'm beside you on your big day love dad a few months ago my dad moved in with his new girlfriend the wheel call Steph now at this point me my dad and my brother have had a cat called Tommy for around 11 years he was quite old but still going strongly Steph hated Tommy she never had a reason to but whenever Tommy came to sleep on their bed she would chuck him out the house for the night leave him out in the rain and cold and said he had a mental disability to everyone because he didn't like her Tommy was very dear to my dad he loved him with his heart and soul so when he had to get him put down for health issues he was understandably crushed he came home and told us about Tommy and I was in tears and was just sat on the set he crying this is when Steph came home she asked what the commotion was and when told about Tommy passing away she said well at least that problem is out the way completely seriously Steph was genuinely happy that Tommy had passed in a blind rage I told her to shut up and stormed up to my room my dad is telling me I went too far and my stepmom is annoyed my dad and mum were not married when they had me and they did not think a marriage would work he was an employee the college graduate and she was just about to start college when she got pregnant she wasn't ready so when I was 2 my dad married Susan she had a daughter my age my my dad and Susan had a very tumultuous relationship and got a divorce my dad and mom were connected over co-parenting me she'd always been in my life but they became closer after those years she'd gone to college she was feeling ready to get married after all I didn't see Susan or Meyer for years I didn't really know how to think of them I used the words once sister and once mom in my childhood Journal anyway I'm older now and I found Meyer on Facebook she was never too far from me just two towns over and I've got my driver's license I asked if she wanted to go for coffee and catch up she said yes she remembers me and would love to reconnect when we met again we just clicked it was one of those rare times that you just instantly connect with someone Maya said she told Susan about going to meet me and I told her that I hadn't told my parents yet things were stressful at home and I didn't talk to them at all about what friends I was out with we became really close really fast it's been just five months since we met and we are each other's best friends my parents asked me if I wanted to have an eighteenth birthday party I could have my friends over I said absolutely but then I remembered I still hadn't said anything about Myer to them so I said that I'd made a new friend who I wanted to invite she is Susan's daughter Maya we'd reconnected recently Susan might need to drop her off my parents didn't take it well my mom said that she wasn't letting Susan on the property my dad agreed and said that Susan was a horrible person she'd done awful stuff that he tried to shelter me from when he divorced her and for our family's own good she was not allowed back in our lives I asked what about MA I could pick her up in my car and my dad asks if I've been to the house before I said yeah just to pick Meyer up sometimes my dad was furious that I hid that I said I wasn't hiding things he never asks who my friends are or what I'm doing he said this was not some random friend this was his ex-wife's daughter and he said I wasn't allowed to see her again or especially her mother I asked why what had her mother done that had torn such a rift that I couldn't even see Maya who's her own separate person and my best friend he wouldn't tell me and he's actually taken away my car keys I still have no idea why this is such a touchy subject edit to add I've talked to my rule not about this trying to puzzle out what happened back when we were small and we've got bits of memory that seemed to sometimes conflict and sometimes agree we both remember a lot of conflict and then later lawyers I remember being woken up at 1:00 a.m. to leave my dad and Susan were fighting at night and suddenly he took me away in his car and we stayed at a homeless shelter for a while then at his parents my dad said to me later that Susan made us leave my remembers waking up one morning and my dad and I were gone Susan saying that we ran away because my dad was upset and would hopefully come back and be a family again once he had calmed down but she never saw us again as a child and Susan didn't like to talk about it the way we were cut off from each other was so sudden and completed was really confusing at that age [Music]

Channel: ASK GURU

Views: 167,814

Rating: 4.8812904 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit stories, askreddit women, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit girls, reddit women, reddit mom, reddit step mom, reddit family, reddit guilt tripping, reddit drama, reddit family drama, reddit step family, worst step mom, worst step family

Id: j1XjZe8ktIM

Length: 20min 16sec (1216 seconds)

Published: Tue May 05 2020