-All right, we're checking
out the only game where the best type of girlfriend
is the one that wants to crack open your head with a tire iron and eat your brains, it's GTA. In an attempt to mentally torture me
in ways that have never occurred before, someone has made
a map now where apparently, I'm going to date a zombie. Say hello to said zombie, The dead fisheyes give it away. What is she looking at? As usual, discount Tom Selleck is here
to paint for us a drug-induced plot. I've gathered you here to solve
a series of mysterious crimes, five dead bodies, brains missing. To unravel the mystery, Gray, you'll be partnered
with our best detective, Ranger Bud, and our best lead,
was that Branis? The Zombie girl's name is Branis. Oh my god, I just saw this,
this is Ranger Bud, what did you get stung by a pack
of Africanized bees before you got here? I'm sure the swelling
will go down in a couple hours. -Ooh.
-Let's see, she has her own motives. Her boyfriend, oh, actually four of them, were victims from the killer. Branis' special ability of being
virtually undying will match Gray's. Is this one
of those elephant-in-the room things? Like, am I the only one
that realizes this girl's a zombie? What's this say?
I swear I'll find this sob and eat, I mean, interrogate him. I love how one of Ranger’s lines is just, "Why does it smell
like dead cats in here?" -Aww.
-Oh, I'm sorry just one dead cat. All right before I start
getting covered in A.1. steak sauce and eaten, let us go to the board of brainstorming. Brainstorming, really? The person who made this is worse
at puns than I am. All right, five dead bodies
with brains missing, four of them happen
to be Branis' boyfriends. Is Branis' brother, the next victim? Detain Gray for a week
and see if the crimes stop. I'm not eating people. All right, Branis,
I hear that you're a tough woman to kill. Let's see about that. "You heard recently I lost my boyfriend,
such a tragedy. It's been two days. I know, he'd want me to move forward
and find a man I'd be happy with." Wow. "What about you,
Gray, do you have a girlfriend?" Uh, well, well technically, I guess,
looking back at my deal with Satan, not as technically,
I think I have some children with her. I know that she kills me
with her outfits. Oh, she killed. I mean anyway, let's go eat. "You drive, I'll sit behind your head. No need to put on a helmet." "I'm putting on a helmet,
don't you touch my head. Look if you're looking for brains,
you're gonna starve, my head is filled
with mashed potatoes and regret." Also, who the hell, what-
whose motorcycle is this? Let me get friggin tetanus on this thing." Yeah, helmet is going on. "Hey, power walk somewhere else." Here get on. Hold on let me take care
of a friend over here." Pardon, hey, oh, a shortcut. Ah, what the hell? "I hope you didn't crack your skull, if you want to give a hand." "No, stay away from my damn head." Did someone seriously, I was gonna say, did someone seriously put
a boost here and just? Yeah, some bastard put a boost here
just so I’d go flying off and smash my teeth on the ground. Welcome to the Bean Machine. "This is where I go when I want
my blood pressure to be 2000 over 1000. There's nothing here I fancy,
I actually know this one inconspicuous but great place, I always eat there." Is this like the instance
where she's gonna take me in a back alley and club me
over the back of the head? Oh, whatever, I'm sure it'll be fine. "I'll go grab something for us,
you find a place to park the bike." Oh, all right bye,
where the hell am I supposed to? What is this?
Help, help, help, Hold on, I need to know now. My parking your park here. Yeah, whatever. Call 911 help she's trying to eat us. "What the hell is go--
what are you doing Branis?" "You petty liar. I just grabbed a burger
and you attacked me but here's my boyfriend. Now we're gonna get you bums." "Honey, get the ones
on the left and I'll climb up and drop some elbows." Please tell me
that she's actually programmed to do an elbow drop. Oh, whoa. Oh. Where did she go? Oh, this is happening,
yes,its like a Hurricanrana. Ouch, how come I'm getting attacked? I'm not the one that tried
to eat everyone. I've only got 12 rounds,
so I got to make them count. I don't-- Were you an innocent bystander? "Branis?" Where the hell did, she go? Call 911. Whenever I see text,
I'm always very, very concern- god. Give me a minute, I'll finish this one. By the way, did you find any clues
who may be the master brains behind these crimes? Now in case any of you are
wondering what she's doing, she is trying to perform CPR
on that poor man. Branis, stop chewing on the homeless guy. We gotta go. Hey lady, don't trip over the last mobil,
you'll get hepatitis. Looks like our investigation hit
a dead end. Guess we need another energy boost
to increase our brainpower. It's time for lunch. You just got done eating
a dude in a back early. You need something else? How do you stay that thin? There's no such thing as free lunch. Unless you got
an awesome boyfriend like you, and he treats you
to a nutritious meal at his place. Oh, we're going to my place? This motorcycle needs a name. Its name is Paul
and I'm still wearing my damn helmet. Don't eat my head. Oh, she has like texts
that comes with her. You seem exhausted, maybe a head massage. Why do you need arrows
to find your house? Welcome to the channel. Why do I need to hit this random guy
over here or this guy? Welcome to the channel. Oh wow.
She actually is unkillable like me. Just kick over that trash can,
what the trash can do to you? I'm kinda curious if the map creator
put a damn like wall to kill myself on, going to my house. Just like the place I try to go to. Almost-- I just- some shrubs. All right.
This is my place. Since the map creator didn't put a way
for me to kill myself. I'll do it myself. Home sweet home. I could probably put the gun away. Oh, it's Meaty Bits. His name is Meaty Bits? That's such a tasty name. Go ahead and set the table. I'll play with me--
Are you spanking my deer? I love that the deer is like,
"Ah, that's the stuff." Meaty, what the hell?
Like I don't give you enough attention. This right here sums up
the entire Greystone plays GTA experience. There's a zombie girl, spanking a deer
while a Florida man dressed in all pink stands in front of the bathroom. That's pretty much how it goes. Oh, check it out. Someone made a spleens area for my cat. Well, it's a doghouse,
but a cat lives there. Anyway, moving on. All right, dinner's ready. Actually.
Where's my deer. You didn't eat my deer.
Did you? I hear something very concerning
coming from the garage. If I open this up and my deer is dead,
I'm gonna be pissed. The food is running away. Meaty says,
"Help!" My deer is not a food source, run Meaty. Run. You're never gonna catch him,
he's a deer. Although, he's been drinking, he's down. Meaty can't run
like 30 feet without tripping. Are you trying to stab my deer? She's got a knife. Run, Meaty, run! This is- this is awful, but oh my god,
I didn't know Meaty was that fast. Must be all the drugs. Here, Meaty, run. I love that help follows. God's like a heat-seeking
like deer zombie. Okay.
I have an idea of how to save Meaty. Ready?
Ready? Charge. All right. Quick. Get inside the garage. You're welcome. I just realized there's now a blood trail
going into my frigging garage. I had to open the garage back up
just because you can see the cursed image of Meaty levitating
in the air with his neck swiveled like 180 degrees. I swear to god, how the hell? This girl's like freaking Jason Vorhees. She teleports all over the entire map. What is that? Whatever,
I found a cat outside was already dead. So why let it go to waste? By the way,
it says spleens on its collar. Maybe it's a- No. Oh, god. Oh, god. God. Jesus. You turned my cat into a ragù. God, he's covered in meat sauce. She's gonna wash him out
with an ice-cold beer. Look at all the scratches on the pot. He really tried to fight his way out. Jokes on her,
Spleen says she's just playing dead. I know that the stove is on,
but she was born in the flaming pits of hell. So this is honestly nothing new to her. It's like a warm bath. Now my house smells like cooked spleens. Bored creator what- [music] what more do you want to torture me with? Okay.
It's time to get on the case. We have a lead. We need to visit the Biker Club. While we're at it,
we can have a romantic dinner. You know what they say
in the Soviet Union? No, I don't. She's probably like, ah,
Florida's right around a corner. Breakfast, eat yourself. Lunch, share with your comrade. Dinner, give to your enemy? You know what they say in Florida? For breakfast you eat a plate of bacon. For lunch, eat another plate of bacon
and for dinner? We usually drink our dinner.
Get on. Oh god, not another-- Does your head-- What shampoo do you use? What the hell? I'm getting off this damn motorcycle. My head smells good.
Get away from me. Also how come the shortcut--
Oh there we go. I was gonna say it didn't work at first. What does it say?
Get away from her, Gray. She killed Bud. Big surprise. Right before he died,
he sent us a message that said, "Branis is a f'ing brain eating zombie." You guys are the detectives? "The smell of dead cat emanates
from her vile betrayal." That's where the message abruptly ended. We haven't decoded the last word yet. What was he sending you guys
a text in millennials speak? Branis, what do you have
to say about all these? Liars.
Grab the grenade launcher. You know what? This episode needs
more violence, why not. All right Branis [?] my head,
you better not eat. Lets do this.
Epic chase scene. Hoo, there we go. Ah, it's like Lethal Weapon
all over again. Heads up. Sorry Tom Selleck, and boop. To infinity-- Oh hold on. Boop. Got 'em. And beyond. Uhh what the hell? What-what is the pose
that these cops are in? It was the best date ever. I need to tell you something,
it may shock you. I really like meat. I mean human meat. Cat meat is also decent. I even like venison. Wanna stay for tea? If you like all the meat,
you're a terrible zombie. It's supposed to be just brains. Oh is this-- Are you her brother? Are you finally dea-- Figures. I'm not sure what was better,
dating the daughter of Satan or dating a zombie. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoy
this episode of GTA. Until next time. Stay foxy and [?].
