I committed fornication(Zina) and I'm so ashamed of myself

bismillah alhamdulillah assalamu alaikum which means peace be unto you welcome to another episode of the Deen show we're here trying to help you understand Islam and Muslims and we'd like to thank you for coming to this program to learn the truth we ask that you have an open mind to be sincere with yourself to be sincere with the Creator first and foremost and this episode of the Deen show is one once in a while I will pick certain emails I'd like to get your comments and suggestions I am NOT a scholar but I like to sit with scholars sit with students of knowledge sit with people who are more knowledgeable than myself so we can both benefit so please the fit questions these questions that will require someone with a bigger beard and some economic knowledge than myself we're gonna save that for them now this email in particular was one that really touched my heart and my next guest we're going to analyze this talk about it it's a from a sister and I'm sure a lot of you people some people who are really not firm in the Deen we're making mistakes day and night Allah is the most forgiving the most merciful so we hope that we can stop making these bad decisions and we can get to submitting ourselves more to our Creator and after we read this we're going to analyze this and try to give some advice the email goes a little something like this she says please can you help me out I'm so upset I can't stop crying I don't want to see hi I'm so upset stressed out I can't think straight I'm 17 years old I'd never drank I haven't smoked thank God however I've done something very bad she started texting it starts with those little things texting a guy and then she hooked up with a guy I'm so bad she says it just happened I'm not proud of it I regret it I met this guy last year I used to see him and I've done some really bad things with him I know I'm so bad I do ask a lot to forgive me I know life is short and I don't want to go to I got no future with this man then why do I feel for him so much even so even even though he showed me his true colors he even said I don't love you anymore I feel that the only way that I can get true happiness is through Islam I'm not practicing Islam as I should I've sinned so much is there any hope for me she asks brother please help me and that's why we're bringing out our next guest to talk about this we're in the real world there are real issues that are going on so we're gonna try to reach out to the sister and talk about this when we come back on the Deen show [Music] [Applause] [Music] Jesus was his messenger why did that maybe it maybe it's just to break the ice assalamualaikum brother what are you doing very good it's good to have you back here with us good to be here again we want to get straight down to the topic here a lot of people got to see your last show hopefully if they're keeping up with this series that we do every week and they can visit the Deen show calm and our brother Roman Ali Khan has his own area there you can click and see all the shows that we've done with this brother this sister she's made a mistake we all make mistakes yes we sinned by Dan by night lost so merciful he comes up our sins we don't want her to lose hope you heard what I just read just hooked up with some guy you know and these women sometimes a naive and the guys on the hunt and he got what he wanted and now he's out we don't want this to happen to another sister and we don't want the brothers doing these things also so we want to just touch upon this so everybody can benefit and show the right thing sure first things first shamelessness or aphasia as it's called in the Quran Sunnah is one of the biggest problems and one of the biggest sins that are mentioned it's a grave matter it's a very serious matter at the same time in the times in which we live this is the most common sin in my assessment this is the most common sin after disrespect of parents uh-huh that our youth are involved in yes it starts with things through technology like text messaging in facebook or myspace or whatever pornography on the internet and other sources and then it moves on to the actual physical act of Zinna with Muslims and among non-muslims and this is a prevalent thing it's a serious serious problem yeah dealing with this is a particularly difficult issue because it's very close to the heart for a lot of parents who are heartbroken if their children are engaged in something like this and a lot of times parents don't even know that a lot of their kids are engaged in something like this but at the inshallah we'll talk about its consequences in a bit but what I want to share first is the the key question that sister had in particular is there hope for me mm-hmm Allah commands us in the Quran not to lose hope in him yeah and he speaks about that ayah of hope in the beginning with the word very interesting phrasing yeah hey buddy o my slaves alladhina ostrov o allah and for see him those who have transgressed and engaged in violations against their own selves lattic Natoma Rahman Tila don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah in allaha ya'muru the rule by Jimmy I no doubt it is Allah who will cover up the sins will forgive the sins all of them all together this principle of Allah forgiving before we talk about it more I want to show you share with you another side of this picture in Soto for Kahn this is surah number 25 Allah speaks about the person who commits murder or commits Xena Xena is the act of fornication okay ELISA is about this person in lemon table except what for the one who repented and we have to talk about what repentance really means well Amana and revived their faith well I mean I am Ellen sorry hon and then engaged continuously and rigorously in good deeds so there are three things they prepend it revived their faith and acted they were good after that now hear this out fillet Caillou but deal allahu say yeah team hasanat Allah says then for those people there mountain of evil deeds Allah will replace them with a mountain of good deeds so he will take your pile of Filth and convert it into a pile of gold if you can do just three things first thing talk about repentance second thing revive your Iman revive your faith actually the Prophet tells us a la la Jara insula now yesterday was sorry for yesterday wahoooo movement a thief at the time that he's engaged in theft is not a believer yeah now is this a deaconess Niva home in a fornicator at the time that they're engaged in that act they're not they're not a believer yeah they have to leave that faith to do that yeah right so it's a profound statement of the messenger sallallaahu said oh this is why when Allah talks about though but he says first you repent from it but what you have to get back now your faith well I'm gonna revive your faith so you're not a believer at that time not at that time so if deaf catches you you're some big trouble or in doing that he was creating and this the theologians talked about this different scales and they talked about you know Iman be different from Islam meaning you're still a Muslim but your Iman is gone yeah because the word used in the hadith is Yemen but there are more Stern interpretations of that same text too in any way in any case this sister and many brothers and sisters like her the first step really is stopping it you have to stop all communication you have to give this up in its entirety if it is that you you end up texting this person emailing this person talking to this person when you're alone then stop being alone if you're that weak be around company go to the Masjid and sit there go sit with some other sisters go serve your parents because that'll take the opportunity of time that you had where you were falling into sin it'll take that away but sincerely repent sincerely get away from this sin and if you're really sometimes people are addicted they hate themselves for their addictions but they're still addicted you know like you know drug addicts sometimes they hate drugs but they still take them and then they hate themselves more for it so the best thing to do is actually get out of that cycle right so get out of the those times and places and opportunities that trigger this behavior get out of that cycle get away from it all altogether this is the first step you have to take the reason you're drawn to this person is this is the first person that you actually emotionally attached yourself to and Allah made women exceptionally loving and compassionate and then attached so this is a you know it's a it's a strength that Allah gave women but if it's you incorrectly or if it's misuse it becomes a weakness and in this case in your case it's a weakness so the man prey off dish the men prey off of that compassion they'll be they'll be nice and kind and Flowery words and they will you know throw words that would that have emotional meaning but they don't mean them because they only have one agenda fulfilling their desire and when that agenda is fulfilled she's nothing more than a piece of meat to him that's used go get lost I don't love you anymore I'd rather marry a Sikh girl etc etc yeah so you know you already followed into this trap and you already know that he's shown you his true colors so what you have to do now is get away entirely just completely walk away from this make Toba spend your time in learning about your religion spend your time in worshipping allah you I know you've cried a lot but you need to cry not because you're sad over that guy you need to cry begging a lot of forgive you you need to shed sincere tears there's not enough tears you can shed when begging Allah for forgiveness Allah loves nothing more than the sincere tears that the slave of Allah sheds in begging forgiveness of him these are precious to Allah Subhan Allah tada how about the we got some young men there Muslim yeah and you know what they're out there hustling they're trying to hook up with the women and now how do we give them advice to know that they shouldn't be doing this and obviously actually talked to some brothers who are doing some good but he said brother I I diss is a vice that I have I just can't stop it's an addiction what do we got to say this is this is a it's available in a terrible addiction and it's so powerful that their messenger sallallaahu is for them warned us the greatest threat he feared for this Ummah for this nation wasn't the threat of invading armies or like you know massive weapons of destruction yeah what was the greatest threat he said for the men of my Ummah I fear women yeah this will be the temptation this is where Shaitaan will get you you will have the long beard you'll be at the Masjid for fodder you'll be a good brother you memorizing Quran doing good deeds and when it comes to this one thing you can't help yourself my advice and because I you know I used to live on my own in New York City and you know you can keep the facade of a religious person and a good person does good things and then have this one thing that's kind of your vice and you know you start telling yourself well at least I know so much other good yeah so I have this one bad thing Allah is gonna forgive I mean it's not that bad it's bad but it's not really that bad you know so you start justifying to yourself Allah speaks about the people of duck what's really I was baffled by this passage in on and on he speaks about the people who enter paradise he speaks about their good characteristics but we're not here to talk about the good characteristics in that same passage he says when the Dena is a fire loofah hasha whenever these people committed an act of shamelessness they looked at something they shouldn't have they touch something they shouldn't have they went somewhere they shouldn't have that was shameless as they gave in to their seduction their desires right these people Allah says as soon as they do that I'm one for some or they wrong themselves in any other way what's the first thing they did that caught allaha they immediately remembered Allah immediately the first thing was remembering a lot now think about this when we disobey Allah how easy is it to remember Allah at that time like if somebody's stealing what they want to remember Allah at that time know when somebody's looking at something Haram what they want to say Allah heard what our stuff for Allah at that time no they're so ashamed of their behavior they don't even want to mention Allah right so what Allah is asking you to do what is commanding the people of general are people who do make mistakes but as soon as they fall into a trap immediately they remember Allah then they ask Allah to forgive their sin sincerely ask to forgive their sin and this asking for forgiveness we have to learn it's not just saying a stuff it Allah you know the phrase in Arabic iStockphoto law which we learned in the Sunda I seek the forgiveness of Allah right is memorized and people just recited over and over stuff for a lot of stuff for a lot of stuff for Allah but really what I mean by that is you know if you insulted your mother and you didn't even look at her anytime sorry yeah just like that are you really sorry no there's an ad there's a face there's an attitude there's this feeling when you're really embarrassed and humiliated and sorry so that's what we have to be but as advice to brothers who are fallen addicts to this thing what they definitely definitely need is change of company that is most likely their friends that have sucked them in this environment or if they have good friends that they're not spending enough time with so they need they're not strong enough on their own they need to be with somebody else they need to be around better people people that will save them rather than drag them further into Hellfire this is absolutely absolutely critical no amount of knowledge will help you sometimes you can have the whole Quran memorized but you won't get help from that sometimes the only thing is Allah has helped and even the most strongest I mean think of this example Yousef are they said I'm a prophet of Allah a prophet of Allah he's in that situation beautiful woman is seducing him he's in the room alone nobody else around and he actually is scared of Allah but in addition you know what he's scared of himself the Quran quotes Rama oh but early enough see I don't consider myself innocent either I don't say that I don't have desires he acknowledges his human weakness this is the greatness of use of hardness Saddam in the end as Noble as ease as a prophet and a he Saddam he's still a man and a man naturally has desire for women so he asks Allah to protect him after acknowledging his own weakness a lot of times these brothers they live with the facade this weak shallow argument that brother I'm not that weak I'm strong I can handle myself yeah I'm just talking to her what do you think I am some kind of pervert you know this is just what they'll that's the mentality I'm strong I can take it yeah you know here you have one of the greatest prophets this man can take imprisonment he could handle being thrown in a well but he can't handle that he asked Allah to protect him from that Subhan Allah he said prison is better for me than what these women are calling meat huh right this is a very serious lesson we you don't have that firmness first technology or weakness and then second make sure you have a change of company get away from that environment get away from things that lead you to that he says okay brother you know what the the person is saying okay well then why did Allah put this in me why did the Creator put this in me and now you know I'm supposed to fight this is there it's natural it is natural so natural that'll s calls it natural uh-huh Elvis has zoo year leanness certain things were unified for people yeah this is the ayah of things that were beautified for us hope Bush a lot even Anissa love of desires fulfilled out of women number one thing that was made desirable for people nowadays you want to buy a car half-naked woman standing next to it in the ad what does beer have to do with women nothing but they want to sell it sell it through women use women as objects right the first desire that people have multi multi-million dollar billion dollar industry pornography selling what desire of man for women that's what it's selling right prostitution desire for women all these crimes come from what one thing that obsession man has for women women right so hope wish I had been Anissa well Benning later on in life you will desire to have sons rather than daughters Allah says people love having sons well cannot even thought I mean either happy well-fed the piled up heaps of wealth out of gold and silver meaning savings assets big savings accounts right lots of lot lots of assets to fall back on right and then a good ride well Hayden was however and branded horses now we don't have branded horses we have brand your horsepower but it's the same thing well and I'm well health cattle cattle refers to your investments because cattle in the old day was the investment that you do you put its career really what is your ego and how the return on your investment the crop that comes out of that investment these are things that people are obsessed with yeah it and if you find people now it is worldly people that are not concerned with religion what are they obsessed about look at what they're doing either it's women desire or it's money right or if their investment their business right or if they're called or right it's a big thing right these are the things that people are obsessed with constantly Allah says these things are there they've been put inside of you but then the question arises why right Allah says beautifully that he cometh our Hayati dunya all of that is utility things to enjoy a little bit in worldly life well Lahore in the host Alma AB and Allah he has much better return than this he has much better than this to offer so if you think your desires are being challenged by the beauty of this woman or this well for this house imagine the one who created this is saying I've got much better than this right so actually these desires are there to feel if you really believe in the hereafter to make you help you imagine man if this is so tempting here I should be far more tempted by what he has but this is only going to be done for the one who believes in the unseen every Muslim says they believe in the unseen do they really believe in the unseen do they really believe Allah has something better to offer do they really believe the house that Allah has for them will have better specs better square footage better Landscaping better property value than what they're going after in this world it's really it's not just a thing you say and pass over it's a state of mind to really believe that there's something better in the light in the next life right and this is what it boils down to these desires have been put in us to see in the end is your belief in the next life and better things in the next life stronger or would you rather take this now to cap this off Allah speaks about disbelievers but this is a human condition all human beings especially those who are weak Iman may Allah protect us all from it or not nobody's susceptible from it no or safe from it one of the things he tells us very powerful is can never to hit wood and rajala ok what this means is no you people are in love of rushing the things you want to get things quickly now the thing is just to put this in perspective if you run a business right and I'm trying to sell you something you're trying to sell me something and I say ok I'll buy it from you for a hundred bucks but I'll pay you next month ok I'll pay you a hundred bucks but next month another customer walks in I says I'll pay you 90 bucks well pay you cash right now you know what a good business man will take the hundred bucks next month or the $90 cash right now you'll take the $90 cash yeah why because we need to love getting things immediately we don't want to wait you know in business they say time is money that attitude want to get everything now so now here's the picture Allah our Lord tells us I will give you a house I will fulfill every last one of your fantasies every last one of them there's nothing in your imagination that you desire that you will not get everything you will get and more beyond your nation but it's not cash it's credit yeah if you want that then you gotta wait you can have some of this this it's not like you're denying the world it's not like you can't get married or can't have children you can't have good life in this world too you can have them but I'll put restrictions on it for you but if you want it unlimited live this restricted life and I'll give you unlimited this is the sales pitch from Allah on another sales pitch from Shaitaan he says why you gotta wait I get you this stuff right now enjoy it live it up you're young what is this going to come back and when when this Shaitaan says this and you forget that Allah is offering eternal youth Allah is offering never-ending life Allah is offering desires to the enth you forget all of that all for what one weakness we rush to things you can't wait we can't hold on we're almost out of time couple more points briefly go over if the person says look I'm gonna have this in paradise anyways I'm gonna have this good time and all these other things that you mentioned what's the big deal if I have it here if they say big take you're gonna take your pick The Messenger of Allah told asylum a duniya signal min wujin that old calf a beautiful phrase he says this world is the prison of the believer and the paradise of the disbeliever if you want to turn this world into paradise then who are you according to the messengers description you don't really believe in the next you might think you do you might say you do but you really don't the other thing just to add to this zu inna al-ladhina Cafaro Al Hayat o dunya listen to these words are so powerful especially for believers in our time ya worldly life was beautified for those who disbelieved where the life is beautiful but for who those who disbelieved why yes Haruna mean alladhina amanu and they will poke fun at those who believe they will say you guys are missing out on life look at you people you gave up all this stuff you so for what for some paradise or some and they'll make fun of our paradise and allows words came true they run after dunya and they poke fun at the believers for running after what the Asura right Allah says well Athena taco and those who guarded themselves and look at the words he didn't say those who believed he said those who guarded themselves those who feared the disobedience of Allah there will be the ones who will be on top of the disbelievers on the day of resurrection on the day of standing so the phrasing there is a taco which means they had taqwa they protected themselves they warded themselves off from these temptations they're the ones who will have the upper hand in the day on the day of resurrection may Allah make all of us from them I mean a couple more points for the person to a there's sincere they want to do what the Creator wants them to do how did they vent this what is the direction they should go to let these urges out in the right way that's pleasing to the crater and be just in short because we got only a couple more minutes and the person what's waiting for him if he just continues to persist doing what his desires are leading him to do and not doing it the right way see if you Allah speaks about the one who persists well I'll take leader latter question first Allah says Balaam and casaba say yeah no but rather the one who earned a sin a single sin he's doing all this good stuff but there's this one vise well I have thought to be he hottia to who and his mistake surrounded him that one mistake he just kept going back over over over he wouldn't stop Allah says for Allah he calls happened not on fear Holly don't those are the people of fire anything will remain this person that's being described in this ayah is not someone who good as all kinds of sense one sin but what's the problem over and over and over verses he doesn't want let it go yeah this sin has become his God yeah basically he submitted to this God he ate Amanita ha ha ha ha whoo ha whoo have you seen the one whose desire has become his inna the one he worships the one he submits to the when he gives in to he will give up everything except that one desire so then who are you giving in to Allah that desire right so it actually becomes a form of sheer question which is why this person earns ends up earning the Hellfire as far as the advice is concerned for those who are in this in this cycle they're stuck in this rut and they need to get out develop a relationship with the Quran develop a relationship with the Quran in the Salah in the have that relationship why do I say that what does prayer have to do with shamelessness Allah tells us in the salat attend honey first it would won't come beautiful he says no doubt it is the prayer that prevents from shamelessness and evil deeds so if you're a person who prays but still does shameless things that means you're not really praying because if you were really praying then it would prevent you from shamelessness and evil deeds so work on your prayer really I mean besides the good company thing I talked about before really make a project a life project I'll repair memorize know Quran study its meaning know what you're reciting when you're reciting in this a lot of Mary get married absolutely get married absolutely absolutely get married get made ASAP get married yesterday he said and marry for the right reasons marry oh you know the the temptations will disappear yeah the she won't look beautiful to you after a couple of years she'll just your wife now the ride is over right so marry for the right reasons if that's your reason for getting married it's too shallow inshallah Don and Mary oh you know someone you find beautiful but also who has beautiful character beautiful Dean that'll make you a better person most importantly that will raise righteous children for you because those are your assets with Allah that's your investment with Allah may Allah make us all those who have righteous children righteous wives righteous husbands I mean lost on Owatonna protect us in our family I mean thank you very much for first and thank you for being with us also everyone that is viewing us from all around the globe if you don't get to see us here in the local Chicago area you can see all of our shows at the Deen show calm please take the advice don't barter something that is temporary for something that's permanent we should strive to see our Lord in paradise that is what the believer he gets excited about and then to be in a paradise where there's things to delight and true peace and happiness things that no eye has seen no ear has heard things that you can't even fathom and imagine this life is not worth losing all that for and we'll see you next time here on the Deen show God willing in sha allah until next time i said i'm alaikum peace be unto you the DVDs for Dawa as Allah has said in the Anasuya now 16 125 who do alas ability' become ill hikmah t invite all to the way of your lord with wisdom beautiful preaching and reason with them in ways that are best and this is a great opportunity for you to take up the obligation take up the call as Allah has told you to do and share this beautiful message with the world Islam submission to the one God let's see what everyone's talking about if you find one contradiction it can't be from God's but the rationale idea the rational explanation is you do your best to give up for spring guidance I will never give up spreading this message hope you take that necessary step you don't know if you're gonna live till tomorrow so you got to find that urges to do the right thing right now if you say that you do not believe in Jesus you have stepped outside of this man you cannot be a Muslim and attended our faith you

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Views: 471,948

Rating: 4.881743 out of 5

Keywords: Fornication, Zina, illicit, sex, shameless, act, major, sin, Islamic, law, sharia, Islam, punishment, forgiveness, love, child, bastard, Nouman, Ali, Khan, Muslims, converts, reverts, cnn, nbc, peacetv, huda, MuslimMatters, ummah, TheDeenShow, Deenshow, almagrib, teacher, mtv, dawah

Id: OqmKZ7ezKMM

Length: 29min 28sec (1768 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2009