"My Son's Suicide Note Will Change Your Life Today" | Jason Reid Speech | Goalcast

Ryan got grumpier as time went on he spent more time in his room I didn't notice that sign I missed it I thought I'd checked in on him I did every day how you doing I'm fine okay I guess you're fine I didn't realize that fine men I'm not fine but how many times do we talk to our teams as they I'm fine they chose I'm fine for a reason it's hard sometimes you know it's hard to know what the balance is with my kids sometimes I make a smaller deal out of things that my wife who makes a big deal about right there is there is there like a rule of thumb or drove one well I can't I can't draw the line for you right I can try I wish I could because I'm not a psychologist I'm not an extra I'm a guy who lost his kid who spent the last year and a half trying to feel why those of us with teenagers and those of us obscene teenagers a lot how do you talk to them well I can tell you what they want and what they don't want what they don't want is you to burst into their room when they're watching some video on YouTube and say We Need to Talk that's the wrong time to doctor that's when they say I'm fine but they all have that time when they'll talk to you maybe it's driving in the car when you think it's cool when I walk in the dog I can tell you though it's also inconvenient because I know all the times that Ryan came up to my office because I worked from home and said hey Dad can we talk and I said you know dude I just want to call 30 minutes I'll be right there know how maybe you've done that I don't know which one of those times in any of those times was the time Ryan wanted to come up and tell me how he was really feeling it was my wife's birthday so we her and I headed down to Mexico on on the 20th of March we got to Mexico and I'll always remember this because then neither 21st we were having dinner and our phones went off at the exact same time is 11:03 and we had text but it was Ryan basically saying I love you and then he signal I freaked out my wife screaming I got on the phone I called my mother-in-law he was looking after the kids I'm like fine Ryan I'm yelling at her and Kim's the only Kyle and she's running around the house and she finds took long life I'd never felt more helpless in my entire life all I wanted to do is be there and save him and I couldn't what would you tell people who would tell you it's not your fault that I'm responsible there's things that if I had it done differently Ryan would still be here I wouldn't be standing in front of all you guys saying please learn from what I didn't do right and I wanted to see if there's like something I could find a letter or some a notebook or something and I started going through drawers and I open it up and it's empty except for two sticky notes I pulled out one said my usernames and passwords and the other one said tell my story tell what happened from your eyes so that parents are looking at their kids differently and I traveled around the Pacific Northwest in California talking to a whole bunch of parents a whole bunch of kids and I researched the heck out of all the stats are staggering so for me I'm going why what is it you think that you would change going back when I look back at Ryan I showed up this way I'm the CEO CEO coach Ironman black belt author if there's a problem I fix it my kids never saw me cry as far as they know I never did I failed it 13 businesses I've almost been bankrupt three times my wife and kids never knew I protected them from reality I thought that's the way I should get that and then what did my 14 year old son day he looked at me and said that's the way a man and a father is supposed to be so he showed up that way Ryan was the class clown Ryan talked all the time Ryan came home from dinner told great stories about how things happen about his bully and how he verbally trounced his bully and thought it was funny as heck he never shared the fact he had any problems he had lost does he thought did that's how he's supposed to show and I regret it what would you teach fathers to basically help them talk with their kids first thing you do is you listen you listen to how they feel and make sure they know that you care how are you doing how are you feeling what's going on at school have you ever felt sad you ever felt mad never felt anxious and you understand that how they feel is how they feel you can't fix how they and this is what we as dads do we fix stuff how many times does your wife send you I don't want you to fix my problem I just want you to listen to me that's hard for dads to do because we want to protect your kids when we go into overprotection mode when we protect them every time they fall so they can't feel then what do they believe when they become 14 15 16 17 they believe there's nothing wrong that's ever gonna happen we create kids that do not have any resilience in their lives I want to do a little exercise with you close your eyes for a second I want you to think back to when you were 12 13 years of age and I want you to put up your hands if you were ever bullied put up your hands if you ever felt like you weren't happy with your life if you ever felt like your weren't as cool as the other kids leave your hands up for a second and open your eyes right now put your hands down put up your hands if you ever thought that you would go ahead and share those deep dark painful moments with your kids yeah I didn't lose I was like you but I wish someone took the time to talk to me and tell me I might need to change had I been more vulnerable with my own kids to share with them but yeah you know what I was but and I was bullied I didn't think I had a lot of friends I didn't have long I never shared anger you could say one thing I could say one thing to riot at the same spring let's say I'm sorry I didn't see it sorry failed you as a dad I'm a lot more open now with my kids you know what I have a lot deeper conversations with my kids now than they ever have all right so what do we do now everything is only gonna change if we change the world's only to change that we decide as parents that we're going to make it change and we're going to make it change if we all decide to be that person that our kids want to come talk to that our kids feel safe with if we tell our stories and we start to have real emotional connections with our children that's when the world starts changing you can make a difference with your own family I'm making a difference with the family I have left I would love it if you all told your story I'll tell my story

Channel: Goalcast

Views: 7,590,926

Rating: 4.9572315 out of 5

Keywords: goalcast, goalcast youtube, youtube goalcast, inspirational, inspiration, motivation, motivational, aspiration, aspire, how to, tutorial, informational, interview, listicle, speeches, speech, presentation, goal cast, jason reid, jason reid speech, suicide speech, suicide prevention, tell my story, how to stop suicide, son is suicidal, daughter is suicidal, suicide help, be a better parent, parenting speech, teen suicide, teenage depression, teenage suicide, teenage speech, parenting help

Id: PW7Cx3iYYLk

Length: 8min 32sec (512 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 07 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/5th_Law_of_Robotics]

Will the feminists show up to say "well women attempt more!"

Our society was already stacked against men and boys and certain people are working to make it worse while insisting all help must go towards girls.

[u/[deleted]]

I am not a parent, but I live with my niece and nephew and I'm glad I watched this.

When he listed off all of his accomplishments, I wonder if that drive was at all intimidating for his children. This is not a critique, but something to be mindful of too.

I am reading a book that has a section about parents who are driven, and are not emotionally mature. I am not saying this father is emotionally immature, but it makes me wonder if Ryan knew he did not have to exist to achieve the amount of achievements his father did to be a valuable and worthwhile person. I wonder if this message could be used to prevent teens from harming themselves as well, "you do not have to work relentlessly to find joy, or be who you think you should be".