Husband Ran Away & Went to Motel Because I Told Everyone I'm PREGNANT - Pregnancy Announcement Story

serious how did you react to pregnancy news how has it changed you for some context i am a 37 year old man i live with my wife who is also 37. we got married two years ago ever since we got married we'd been trying to have a baby after two years it was becoming tiresome it wasn't just the fact that we'd been trying for two years it was also that we knew we were getting older and that time was running out please note that i'm a very private person i don't like surprises because they make me uncomfortable one day my wife told me she wanted to have a dinner party and invite both of our families and our closest friends we don't usually host parties but i went along with it because she was persistent and plus we had a good house and dining room for it she invited both of her parents and my single father plus our siblings and two close family friends everything was going swimmingly and everyone was having fun as we finished our meals we lingered around the table talking then my wife tapped her glass calling for everyone's attention she stood up and told everyone the reason why she'd invited everyone there was to announce that she's pregnant joy filled the room at that moment everyone seemed excited especially our parents they hugged us and my father cried with joy they all seemed to assume she had told me until i said that i didn't know i was angry my wife didn't tell me she was pregnant i felt like i should have been the first to know having a baby is a team effort and the father is just as necessary as the mother by telling me with the rest of the family it felt like i didn't matter i just felt like a chump because my whole family and two friends found out about my baby the same time i did right there i pulled my wife into her bedroom and asked her why she thought it would be a good idea not to tell me about the baby she explained that she wanted to surprise me and for our families to witness my reaction she also said that the manner of delivery shouldn't matter when we've been trying for so long for a child that i shouldn't make a big deal about it and just be grateful that we'll be having a baby she kept repeating i thought you'd be happy that we're having a baby until the point of tears i couldn't believe how insensitive and selfish she was being i stormed out of the house in front of our guests and got a motel for the night i dodged my wife's calls and returned the next morning my wife told me i embarrassed her but i feel like my behavior was justified she told me she was worried about me and that our families thought i was angry about the pregnancy itself rather than the manner of announcement our relationship hasn't been the same since my sister is 40 years old first child my parents adopted second child is 14 months and my sister is barely making it she doesn't have a job and baby daddy moved to colorado to work and send money home last month she told our mom this week that she is pregnant my mother is thrilled because a child is a blessing blah blah blah i'm so annoyed she is considering bringing a child into this world when she has no money no job and no car her electric bill is 1200 and about to be shut off how can it be okay to have a child again someone please tell me it's okay to be furious over this my mother's defense is during the depression people still had kids and they made it work and she was so scared when she found out she was pregnant with me and how her and dad made it work and can't imagine their life without me for reference i'm a 24 years old male and she's a 22 years old female my girl and i have been together for four years we met in college and have been together ever since she's honestly the most amazing person and puts up with my crap she's all happy-go-lucky well i'm extremely hard to approach and serious i love her more than anything and plan on proposing to her this summer the problem is babies recently my girl's been seeing all of these baby videos on instagram and gushing over the babies at first i didn't care she was just acting like most other people do then she started showing me videos of babies like every five minutes i would be washing the car and she would just shove the phone in my face to show me a video of someone's baby doing random crap at first i would just force a smile and nod it got to the point that she would try to show me a video and i'd just turn away she began making all types of comments about the videos like i want one and ours will be just as smart as this one i'm starting to get worried because we have slept together regularly she's on the pill and i use condoms and i don't want for her to try to intentionally get pregnant i had a nightmare about this a few nights ago and woke up in a cold sweat she noticed my attitude yesterday after the thousandth time and asked what was wrong and i told her that i'm just not interested in babies she got all quiet and her face fell and then she asked if i never wanted to have kids it's not that i don't want kids at all i know that when i'm older and more ready i'll probably want to start a family and it will definitely be with her but i do not want kids now i really don't care for the noises smells imposition and responsibility right now i don't even find them cute to be honest my plan for the next few years is to focus on working on our careers mutually plus traveling and enjoying our youth she's just about to graduate and is starting her work the upcoming fall so we're both doing well in that department i don't want to mess up our relationship with a baby coming in and throwing off all of our plans i told my girl this and she just kind of shut down hasn't really said anything to me since yesterday we live together have grown together and will soon be engaged if she says yes and i know we're just getting started but am i wrong for not wanting a kid right now all i want is her honestly major update we had a long talk last night and stayed up until really late i told her along the lines of i love you and i'm sorry that for the past few days i've been rude towards you the last thing i want to do is make you feel as if you can't express your feelings to me every time you showed me a video of a baby i would just get scared that you were starting to want a child now i want to have a family with you when we're more financially stable and have completed our bucket list of things to do i'm sorry i didn't communicate this with you and instead shut you out and so on my girl told me everything that she's been feeling the past few days her younger sister 19 years old is currently pregnant from her boyfriend and confided this in her a few weeks ago has since been sending her a bunch of baby related posts and articles my girl said she had a dream a few nights ago after that she was pregnant and she says that she felt like the dream was so real that when she woke up her body felt disappointed she said that it was probably just a hormonal rush like a caffeine high and when it happened it was like baby word vomit she apologized for bombarding me with the idea of children out of nowhere especially since her words i want to have kids after we've done everything we want to do maybe when i'm 25 or 26 years old i liked this idea and we agreed that the next three years were for our goals visiting the world wonders road trip across the u.s etc and after three years we will stop preventing pregnancy when it happens it happens some side info my sister has two children and is married for the last two years they barely made it to the end of the month and all of the family know they struggle financially me and my partner are doing well financially and have no kids two weeks ago my sister called me and asked me to come visit her since there was something very important she needed to tell me when i arrived she immediately broke down crying telling me how she was pregnant again and she doesn't know what to do she didn't even tell her husband at that point and i was very surprised to be the first person to know since we're not really close anyway she continued saying that they don't have the means to support another child with all the debt they already deal with i tried to calm her as much as i could saying that there will sure be some solution to handle the situation after a while she told me she looked up how much terminations cost and that even if she wanted to she could not pay for it at the time so i basically offered that if she decides to end it i would take care of all of the medical bills coming from the procedure she asked me if i could afford that so i told her she does not have to worry since i don't use up all of my money every month i'm usually able to put some into savings and it was okay for me to put two of my monthly savings into her procedure if she decides to have it she thanked me and told me that she needs time to think about it four days later she asked me to come visit again when her husband is home so we could discuss how to go about it i drove there at the same evening they greeted me and her husband told me that he's really happy that i decided to help them in a tough time like that she told me how she thought about what i had said and she wanted to accept my offer however she didn't want the termination but suggested that i should give them the money for procedure as well as a little bit every month since i don't spend all my money anyway i was pretty much bewildered i did not offer that i told them straightforward that i will only give them money for the procedure but won't be financially supporting them in any other way her husband blew up telling me i'm an idiot for wanting to pay to end his child but not supporting them to make it live a good life instead i was overwhelmed by the situation and left immediately after my sister texted me the following days relentlessly about how i don't love her if i don't support her decision and how i'm forcing her into the termination they also told the rest of the family which are also firm to believe i'm a massive idiot in the situation because i don't need all that money to live and i could easily support them sounds bad but going to preface this by saying i'm not trying to get pregnant without my husband's consent i went to the doctor yesterday because i've been super emotional and my body has been out of whack and my doctor was basically like we gotta get this implant out of you i had nexplanon the implant in your arm and i decided to give my body a break from hormones and to use protection other methods for the time being because i don't want to conceive i call my husband and tell him and he's like oh okay did you get on the pill and i said no i didn't want to be on hormones anymore and he flipped out and said i need to be on birth control because it's the best way to not get pregnant but like there are things he can do to not get me pregnant but now his whole family and him are convinced i'm like trying to get pregnant without his consent should i have called and discussed this with him since it affects him too as in he has to wear protection eta if i hadn't have taken it out yesterday i would have had to wait a month because that was my gyno's next available appointment so it wasn't that i didn't want to consult my husband it was kind of a quick decision hi guys i am a man 32 years old and i have two sisters carly 38 years old and melinda 26 years old we went out to a family style restaurant for brunch and just returned home melinda and i are happily married each with three children my older sister carly never married she had a fiance that she cheated on and he left her that was 10 years ago and she hasn't been in a relationship longer than a few months ever since she has four indoor cats and also feeds a few stray cats that hang around her neighborhood my mom was very ecstatic because in the last year my younger sister and i both gave her an additional grandchild so she gave a speech in her speech she thanked all of us for coming and said some flowery lovey stuff and then thanked melinda and my wife for both being excellent mothers to her beautiful grandchildren upon hearing my mom praise my wife and my younger sister for being mothers my sister carly but in loudly with a loud and irked she then went on a diatribe about how she is a mom just like they are and why don't we ever wish her a happy mother's day i explained calmly that she isn't a mom at which point she threw a fork at me and raised her voice in the restaurant i am a freaking mom too you stupid idiots just because i don't have human babies doesn't mean i'm not a mother too my younger sister tried to calm her down but instead carly just poured her third glass of white wine into a nearby potted plant spit at the plant wtf i know right and then stormed out we thought that would be the end of it but now she has published a manifesto on her social media calling us small-minded and disrespectful and went on to explain why she feels that she is a mother despite never getting pregnant and giving birth we have family and friends calling us on the phone since asking what happened i don't know what to tell them other than maybe my sister is showing signs of a nervous breakdown i tried texting carly to say hi but my text came back green which she has an iphone so it's usually blue does this mean she blocked me my boyfriend has always been excessively self-reliant even to be happy and do fun things he always plans trips by himself and doesn't ask if i want to join for context we live together earlier this year he planned a solo vacation for himself that he didn't care to mention to me and it coincided with valentine's day when i asked him flirtatiously what he was doing on the 14th he said oh yeah i'm going on a trip he didn't even realize it was valentine's day and didn't seem affected when i said that it would be fast forward to two days ago when he leaves town i had been feeling very tired and sleeping all the time i decided to do a pregnancy test and found out i was pregnant i texted him letting him know and told him not to worry and we would deal with it his response can you take one of those pills i don't really want this hanging over my head on my holiday needless to say i was super hurt and felt super lonely i was planning on scheduling a termination but wanted to wait until he got back instead i'm getting a procedure in a few days instead and don't want to involve him in any of it this event made me realize how selfish and insensitive he can be i'm super hormonal now though and afraid that i might be deciding to break up with him too soon or that it's an overreaction don't know what to do but can't stop feeling hurt over this comment and the fact that he didn't care to spend valentine's day together and didn't even react in a supportive way to me having to get a termination while alone should i give him another chance what are my options on ways to react am i missing something my wife and i have been married for 10 years we met in college and she has been my best friend for almost 14 years now she is beautiful supportive kind classy and all around amazing as a wife we went through a really rough patch about a year ago mostly due to issues on my end however she told me she was pregnant i was overjoyed she told me she would only keep it if i was a hundred percent in on the baby and the marriage i said i was fully committed and we kept the baby as time went on i became increasingly insecure about whether or not the baby was mine i did the math and thought it was unlikely it was mine on top of having a gut feeling i was internally agonizing over this for months and after the baby was born i could barely even hold him because i was so convinced he wasn't mine i told my wife i wanted a paternity test she was upset but told me to get one if it would ease my mind the test comes back two weeks later and it says i am not the father i'm absolutely livid i had an out of body experience i stormed into our house and just let loose i felt like i couldn't stop myself i was completely broken in that moment i cried and screamed and asked her what i did to deserve this i absolutely never laid a hand on her the whole time she's just sitting on the couch trying to comfort the baby this made me even angrier for some reason so i kicked her out right then and there told her to pack her bags and just get out she calls me the next day and tells me that i deserve to know that the baby is mine and asks me to get a paternity test from another company i figure i have nothing to lose at this point and another paternity test can only help me in a divorce so we get one at the company she suggested and i sent a third to another company just to be sure i get the results from one and they say i am the baby's father i wait a few days and don't say anything then get the second set of results also confirming i'm the father i feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off of my shoulders and i can finally be the dad i want to be i call my wife to give her the good news and she tells me she's not moving back in she says she's disgusted with how i acted by asking for a paternity test and my reaction to the false one she tells me i can come and see my son but she will be filing for divorce i don't think my reaction was over the top for a man who thought he had been lied to about one of the most important things i never showed any sort of violence and i was so emotionally broken at that point i know how it must have looked to her knowing that i was the father but i don't think she's seeing it from my perspective i'm planning on discussing it with her later and trying to convince her to work on it with me when i go to see my son am i the idiot for reacting in this way to what i thought was an enormous [Music] deception [Music] you

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Id: -i5TOIOawGI

Length: 17min 23sec (1043 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 21 2020