How to Thrive as A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

it's not a curse being a highly sensitive person or even thinking that you are now did you know that being a highly sensitive person is actually an adaptive personality trait and it's not a flaw and in this video you're going to find out why so stick with me and here we go so the concept of highly sensitive people or person differs from being just overly emotional so let's talk about some of those traits that make up highly sensitive people first we're talking about a heightened sensor processing individual and this is an increased sensitivity to various stimuli now not only your five senses but also to your perception of various experiences and those around you and this can really get played out because of past experiences that you've had that can influence not only how you respond but certainly how you interpret various situations now also there's emotional intensity now this is also something that we see in highly sens itive people because you experience emotions deeply and more intensely you know some folks may have said oh he or she is so emotional D D D D D but highly sensitive people that emotional intensity can actually be a good thing because it helps you be certainly more aware but we got to watch out for that Distortion that Distortion could be from mental health concerns depression anxiety PTSD borderline personality disorder narcissistic personality disorder whatever it me may be so being emotionally intense so to speak feeling it is understandable and you have to be aware of that if you have that experience of emotions in a very deep and intense way now another component is the depth of processing and that is that you process information more deeply which leads to richer inner experiences and this can be that highly sensitive people really do benefit from meditation they really can get a deep scent of calm and peace when they're able to control a lot of those distracting thoughts and visions and by visions I mean certainly memories or images of people and experien that you've had that pop in your head and that depth of processing because you can feel things and understand things at a deeper level it's not a negative and then lastly the last component I want to talk about is that sensitivity to subtleties now this is that you have the tendency to notice nuances in the environment this is absolutely including emotions and because of that heightened sensory processing that emotional intensity that you experience and that depth of processing you are focusing on a lot of those subtleties but do you recognize that those subtleties don't necessarily mean the totality of the experience you're in so using that highly sensitive processing aspect of you that it can help you understand understand situations better but if you overreact to the nuances you can actually lose the ability to manage many situations because the nuances even though to you they feel really intense and really big they may not be but again we got to go back to that Distortion we got to challenge that distorted view that's what I want you to be aware of so let's talk about differences from being overly emotional and a highly sensitive person person now let's talk about that sensory Focus now highly sensitive people have a sensitivity that extends Beyond just emotions this includes sensory experiences so this is different than just being overly emotional oh he or she is so emotional because it's those senses right it's those five senses that you feel and you feel them more intensely it's this greater sense of awareness which just being overly emotional that's just focusing on one aspect now also that emotional regulation for highly sensitive people they can often regulate their emotions despite the intensity whereas overly emotional individuals they certainly struggle with that emotion regulation and that's where dialectical behavioral therapy can be big help because it's just working on that module that emotion regulation module understanding your emotions managing your emotions now even though you may feel it more intensely highly sensitive people that don't also have BPD or NPD or other mental health concerns and even if they do of course it depends upon the severity but they don't always have that emotion disregulation so highly sensitive people recognize that but they may not engage or get caught up in that emotional disregulation so that's just a little difference there another component is trait versus State and this is being highly sensitive is a trait it's something that you have across situations it isn't State dependent State dependent means that when you're in particular situations that that sensitivity kicks up now you may feel it more intensely when you're around family or you're around perhaps a partner that you don't trust or a partner that maybe you feel like a little burned out on this relationship ready to move on or or things like that that's more of a state trait is we see it across context which means we see it across different environments we see it across different people as well so we get that greater sense and when you're overly emotional that is absolutely State dependent because your emotions are highly dictated by the state that you're in the situation that you're in your emotional state whether it's high low could be overreactive under reactive whatever it is so the situation dictates that and that's what we see more and overly emotional people as opposed to highly sensitive and lastly adaptive functioning now highly sensitive people that sensitivity tends to serve an Adaptive function unlike being overly emotional which can certainly hinder functioning and when we talk about that adaptive function what that means is that highly sensitive people are able to use their senses in order to determine the best outcome to get those needs met now remember if you've seen my other videos that I also talk about that life is not about guarantees that it is very much about probability if we engage in positive Behavior self-control and assertiveness not aggression we increase the probability of positive outcome when we engage in negative outcome destructive behaviors then increases the outcome of negative consequences and that's not what we want so it's all about managing those probabilities and that's where highly sensitive people that it is an Adaptive trait it is something that you can use to work for you but you got to contend with that Distortion you got to contend with that BPD and family in the head that's bringing up the past that you feel is like it's triggering yourself and driving you to engage in maladaptive behaviors to fulfill a pattern and that can become really complex that's where a good mental health provider can help you as well that's really important now let's talk about the problem or challenge being a highly sensitive person and this is we want to be aware of some of the struggles or challenges that you're going to have that you face in the world world around you and that sometimes it can be overwhelming now that sense of sensitivity overload this is that highly sensitive people are really affected by loud noises bright lights or crowded environments and this makes total sense because they're just more sensitive to what's going around around them it's like a telescope right so you're looking through that telescope and you see but in this case let's say the average the non highly sensitive person it's like an average telescope you know but that highly sensitive person their view is so much bigger they're taking in more data they're taking in more information their sent their hearing their taste is more intense than the average person and that's what we're talking about here that that can certainly be a challenge and if you're a highly sensitive person you need to be aware of it deeply emotional responses and this goes back to what we were talking about we were talking about aspects of highly sensitive people is that again you experience emotions more intensely which can of course increase the probability of feeling overwhelmed and what do you do when you feel overwhelmed because highly sensitive people are at a higher likelihood to feel overwhelmed by their emotions by the stimuli in various situations so if you know that you're a highly sensitive person you're going to need to take little mental breaks and I already talked about how doing meditation can really help because again you're going to be more sensitive to that meditation to that process which means bonus that the payoff is even better for you now next let's talk about that heightened sensory awareness and we talked about that you're at a higher likelihood to notice some of those subtle textur scents and tastes more acutely but again what happens if there are too many at one time goes back to that feeling of overwhelmed it's hard to discern various experiences in your life because they all can get slammed together it's like fruit salad time and when you're eating the fruit salad you really just want to taste the strawberries but the strawberries are in there with the grapes and they're in there with the cantaloupe and they're in there with everything else and you're like well I can't really taste the strawberries because everything is in there and then you got the fruit juice it's in there too so all of that that's like that highly sensitive awareness and you're trying to tease that out you can train yourself to better focus so that when you do have the fruit salad you can taste the strawberri you absolutely can it takes again meditation mindfulness focusing we're going to talk a little bit more about that in just a minute so what about that empathic burden a lot of highly sensitive people do talk about having this sense of Burden with their emotions that sometimes they absorb other people's emotions more deeply which can Tire you out that can lead to emotional fatigue compassion fatigue and burnout and you got to be aware of that remember that you want to focus on the distance between you and others and you have to keep that separate sometimes when people tell you about experiences that they've had that can be really impactful for a highly sensitive person so you need to have that sense of awareness especially if it's a very traumatic story or a very intensive story so be aware that you are at a higher likelihood to really be empathic and that that's going to increase the probability of feeling overwhelmed which increases the probability of emotional fatigue now need for Solitude this is really important because I've noticed and please leave this in the comments too that a lot of highly sensitive people that I work with that a lot of them tend to be very extroverted because some of them many of them get a lot of energy from being around others and that energy though because they're taking in all this stimuli then goes back to emotional fatigue feeling overwhelmed all those factors so if you feel that you're a highly sensitive person that it requires frequent alone time to recharge from external stimuli you're going to need that meditation time yoga is fantastic any even working out working out right turn your phone off you know turn the cellular part off just listen to your music and work out exercise walk your dog whatever watch your fish whatever you're into people watch whatever it may be but do those things you're going to need Solitude it doesn't have to be you alone in a room where you're like man the only way I feel better is in solitude but you don't because you're extroverted and that becomes the Paradox doesn't have to do that to be like that you can instead go somewhere again you can go to the gym you can go to a coffee shop just sit and just chill don't play on your your phone or anything like that you're just sitting there you're just drinking your Americano I love a good Americano I do and you just sit there and you just have have your drink and you're just kind of people watching and you just chill don't go on your phone don't look at Instagram social media it again it's you're going to go back to that sense of overwhelm you need more Solitude and peace now we also have to recognize that there is a sensitivity to criticism and this is that tendency to react more strongly to negative feedback or criticism from others and that makes total sense because again you're going to take in that information but and before I get to the butt it's the Distortion that's going to be adding to that criticism that selft talk that negative selft talk that Taps into your sense of awareness we have to be aware of that again if you have control of that Distortion and you can see yourself and others more accurately you're better able to take feedback more effectively and not misinterpreted as criticism and there is an absolute difference there can also be issues with decision making so there are decision- making challenges here too which is that you struggle to make choices due to the thorough analysis of your options a lot of times those highly sensitive people really get overwhelmed not only because they're taking in all of this information remember it's just not emotional it's those other aspects as well so to take all of that in that level of analysis can be really difficult and using that data to make the best decision for yourself can absolutely be overwhelming and then boundary difficulties a lot of highly sensitive people do find it difficult to set boundaries and assert personal limits and that can be because of how empathetic they are that can be because of their degree of connection it can be because of this higher probability to be extroverted and connect to others so we have to be aware of those factors as well and setting good boundaries which means that during periods of solitude or self-exploration it's looking into those aspects of yourself what you'll tolerate and what you won't but also knowing that sensitivity level knowing when you're starting to get overwhelmed and managing that more effectively it can be really important for you too and then pursuit of perfectionism now a lot of highly sensitive people do aim for Perfection due to that sensitivity to the smaller aspects and detail because when we pay attention to the smaller details then we're able to actually create greater pictures portraits aspects of our life and we're able to see more but when we at a level of perfection which is that in order for something to be good beneficial happy this can be in relationships this can be in child rearing this can be as a child or a parent whatever it may be but you have these ideas and they feel so intense and that can be a sense of perfection because you feel like well it has to be like I imagine it and if it isn't then it's a failure and that goes to conceptualization so you can use that sensitivity to look at various situations but don't overanalyze it and take it in and say it has to be this way because it's that staunch approach to your perspectives in your life that can really stress you out and cause a lot problems certainly in your relationship how you see yourself but also in relationship with others as well let's just talk about some positives let's end here on a positive note of highly sensitive people which is this enhanced empathy and again just as I mentioned it's an ability to deeply understand and connect to others emotions and you can absolutely use that to your advantage there's also heightened intuition is that there's you can use that being highly sensitive aspect of yourself to build your insights and really listen to that gut feeling that can help you decide decision-making but be aware of that Distortion tendency and then creative expression Rich inner world can foster an external experience it can really Foster creativity in various forms and expression if you're highly sensitive person I encourage you just to draw or paint or do something to get that out it can be really helpful because that attention to detail can really help you have a greater experience in your life and understand more about what goes on in your life and help you process it more effectively that can be really great and lastly that emotional depth that it's the rich emotional experiences that contribute to this real fulfilling inner life that you have and it's managing all of that sensory information all of that sensory data but it makes life a richer life particularly when you can control the distortions you have a sense of when you're getting overwhelmed when you're getting fatigued use that highly sensitive nature that you have to your advantage to move you forward pay attention to your gut be aware of that Distortion and as you do that you will find that you have a greater sense of control that it impacts your decision- making in a positive way and that's what we want that's my hope for you in this video that you're able to use this information to go forward so please leave a comment let me know if you feel you're a highly sensitive person if you're interested I do evaluations to determine highly sensitive people so reach out to me and perhaps we can do that if you look on my website you'll find more information about how to contact me about that and thank you very much for your time and I'll see you next time bye-bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 21,220

Keywords: highly sensitive person, highly sensitive people, highly sensitive people ted talk, highly sensitive person relationships, highly sensitive person psych2go, highly sensitive men, highly sensitive person vs autism, hsp, what is hsp, sensitive person, therapy in a nutshell, dr fox, dr fox bpd, dr fox npd, dr fox bpd relationship, dr fox borderline personality disorder, mental health, sensitive, am i too sensitive, dr fox favorite person, hsp highly sensitive person, hsp bpd

Id: LnEIr6RGhrA

Length: 17min 25sec (1045 seconds)

Published: Fri May 24 2024