7 Coping Strategies Instead of Exploding

hi my name is dr. Daniel Fox I'm a licensed psychologist in state of Texas and an expert in the air personality disorders and in this video we're going to talk about how to stop the racing thoughts to slow your roll and hold your horses this we're going to help you sort of focus your attention and increase your control of the world around you and your reactions first off let me explain why this is so important knowing how to control yourself in your reactions is just as important as knowing what is going on with your beliefs behaviors and patterns folks with BPD are usually at odds with themselves they're often their own worst enemy because of that impulsivity engaging in these maladaptive and unhealthy reactions and patterns that they have so much trouble getting out of and coping strategies can really help to do this and I see a lot of this this difficulty folks have in a lot of my clients and learning coping skills and skill management strategies is so important to manage and overcome this and it is possible to do it just you just have to learn the skills utilize those skills as much as possible and before we get started if you'd like to subscribe hit the bell or check out my website for more information on personality disorders or me or anything else so let's get to it let's get started here we go now there are many ways to control your racing thoughts and the tendency to engage in those maladaptive and unhealthy patterns you can reduce their occurrence it is possible it takes time and practice to masters coping strategies because a lot of times you have to unlearn those old maladaptive strategies that you're kind of used to falling into and but these new strategies they can be useful in managing racing thoughts and impulsivity at any in any situation that you're in you know as you go through this video I don't want you to try all seven of them at once to be like I'm gonna try this one tries to find one or two that fits in practice build up mastery to help yourself then if you need more or after you try for a wire like this just as a quicken for me and sometimes it's not going to click then discard it and learn another one learn what fits for you it takes some time practice creates mastery and give yourself some time you're going to need some patience so let's get to it let's get started now the very first one is focus on now not the future or the past now for some people racing thoughts and impulsivity stem from something that has not happened yet or may never happen other people focus on things that happened in the past which cannot be changed so it's important people who experience a lot of racing thoughts and impulsivity should take every effort to think about what's happening right now bring yourself to the present now you can say some things to help give to yourself that may help think I won't worry about the past or the future I'll focus on what I can control these are things to save yourself that's a good place to start what brings you present stay present push out that fortune teller that fortune teller doesn't know you want to push that person out push that little thing in your head push it out okay and then because that fortune teller is deceiving you and it's unnecessarily amping you up hey and when you get amped up it's a higher probability for you to react out impulsively now the next one is taking deep breaths they're like everybody knows that I know but very few people do it and a lot of people have difficulty actually slowing down and taking these deep breaths even though it is so so helpful now the body's natural panic response is to speed up the heart and breathing rate now this this may happen when the mind begins racing and you feel this impulsive urge to react slower deep breaths can reduce the body stress response and promotes a feeling of calm helping to quiet and stop racing thoughts and those impulsive urges okay so let's we'll practice a deep breath right here so deep breathing you can do it anytime you're doing the car I do it a lot at stoplights okay so it's really good you just want to breathe in for three seconds and then out for five to ten okay I didn't make it quite ten because you know you're doing it on the camera but okay alright nice and slow now what I did there is I was breathing with my chest it's better to breathe with your stomach okay so when you breathe in right it's like a balloon that it expands to my stomach expanded and then to breathe out right that balloon deflates and you can lay in bed you can just put your put your hand on your on your belly there and feel it go up and you'll breathe in and then slowly go down when you breathe out those deep breaths can really help you especially if you're trouble sleeping you can try that hey if you're frustrated or agitated take a moment put your hand on your belly nobody knows what's what what you're doing don't worry about that and just okay but breathe with your belly no not with your chest the next one is think about other options now your life is not a game show so there's no one right answer okay so because racing thoughts often end up in an anxiety provoking chord worst case scenario and it can you can easily kind of get wrapped up in it you can start to task rifice and get wrapped up in this perceived disaster now this can lead to a vicious cycle of more anxiety continued racing thoughts and until you eventually impulsively act out because all that energy builds a bit up and you have to act out okay so a person to mine is racing feels impulsive right and may wish to tell themselves that this worst-case scenario is not going to happen challenge that thought right what's the evidence what other choices do you have this worst-case scenario is not going to happen telling yourself that you can think about other more desirable options right that that are more likely to occur this is instead of I'll get fired for that mistake you can change the thought - everybody makes mistakes and I'll do what I can do to make it right another one is I can manage the situation by and then add in an adaptive strategy I can manage the situation by by deep breathing by doing a b and c talking to a trusted other or friend or something like that so a lot of times what happens is worst case scenario this is that people send out a text and i think a lot of us have this expectation of this immediate response right we're gonna get that immediate gratification and when we don't then we start to catastrophize we start into this worst-case scenario right he or she doesn't love me anymore they're ignoring me they deleted me they're not going to talk to me or an old son it just blows up into this worse worst case scenario and but the reality is is that the no text leads to response anxiety fear fortune-telling catastrophizing and acting out impulsively how do you do it adaptively you recognize it when you send out that text don't expect an immediate response if you get one nice if you don't that's okay remember people's phones died people service goes in and out right depending who your provider is right so I mean there's all these other factors that can be involved that don't pertain to you so think about those other those are their viable options so that's important as well think about those other options now next you can also try distractions now what's a favorite hobby especially one that is calming that can quiet the mind and help help you focus on something other than racing thoughts adult coloring books such as like like this one Hey right okay that is these are very popular nowadays and it helps to reduce stress it offers like a calming distraction painting is another one gardening cooking playing an instrument or other other possibilities videogames can be distracting games on your phone watching calming YouTube videos there's a swan if it's a drone that flies around Maui I like that one a lot I think that that one's pretty great and so try the these distraction tactics they can be really helpful for you as well the next one is used mantras now a mantra is a simple word or phrase that you can repeat to calm your mind they can be particularly useful in times of panic or racing thoughts when you're pushed to that impulsivity so phrases such as I can get through this it will be okay these things can be helpful what kind of mantras have you have you created for yourself that are positive and helpful you'll be surprised maybe about how many negative mantras you have when you're catastrophizing or your fortune teller is telling you this gonna happen you start thinking oh they hate me I have no value I'm worthless all these other things but use those mantras use that same habit but change it to be adaptive and what's something positive you can tell yourself it will be okay I can get through this and things like that so mantras this allows the mind to focus on one simple thing and if you make it positive and encouraging it can lessen a lot of that anxiety and stress and racing thoughts so this turns the mind away from racing thoughts and reduces that urge to respond impulsively now the next one this is one of my favorites this is inhale lavender essential oil you know lavender is a reputation for being calming and there is some research to actually back this up I use this all the time I love the smell of lavender I try to have it in my office I certainly have it in my home it's just really nice you get a little diffuser and put a little little lavender oil and just try to smell that and it's just this calming kind of odor and and it just smells so calm so lavender oil that's another one another last one this is exercise now running can help you with racing thoughts racing thoughts and impulsivity this can be controlled with regular physical activity regular physical activity research has shown it improves mental well-being and also may be helpful during during an episode of racing thoughts and it redirects that restless energy instead of acting out impulsively so now numerous studies as I mentioned have been have been used and show that continuous or sort of scheduled activity can help just overall increase your mental health and manage your mood now if a person feels racing thoughts if you feel them developing you can go walking jogging or similar activities may help to settle the mind you don't have to engage in exercise and tense exercise for the benefits 15 minutes of walking will do it or whatever you're able to do but getting up and getting that energy out exercising it out can really help you so remember try one or two of these see which one's fit and let me know in the comments which ones work for you maybe you have something else that has worked I know folks do read the comments so that's really helpful for them if you have if you have one again put put it in there that that's really helpful and remember be cool be calm and have a great day thank you for your time take care bye bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 40,477

Keywords: stress management techniques, coping strategies, bpd coping strategies, bpd treatment, borderline personality disorder, dr. fox, dr fox bpd, dr daniel fox, bpd disorder, bpd relationship, bpd splitting, borderline personality, bpd, coping, mental health, stress, cluster b, daniel fox personality disorders, bpd and stress, dr fox, dr fox personality, mental illness, stress relief, anxiety, how to manage stress, managing stress, how to reduce stress, stress management tips

Id: EifyTRXbwSQ

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 27 2019