How to Succeed in Capitalism

[Music] [Music] [Applause] oh hi I didn't see you there I'm thought slime and now I'm 700 feet tall and the world quakes before my power some people just have it that well factor when they walk into a room the whole place lights up they're passionate driven goal-oriented type-a personalities a higher class of human being bigger stronger the natural winners in our society more competitive more successful are they just born lucky I don't think so what do they have in common I've discovered five characteristics of highly successful people under capitalism and if you follow my foolproof five step system that I call the slime method I guarantee you'll be successful beyond your wildest dreams guarantee not legally binding [Music] successful people believe that they can succeed if you didn't believe that why would you even try in order to succeed you have to believe that you can succeed don't just sit around whining about the unfairness of the world get out there and bust your butt try to ignore the startling amount of people who die within the same social class as their parents take for example this study from the Brookings Institute reading this with a success mentality means focusing on the fact that real income growth makes the current generation better off than the previous one median family income for adults who were children in the late 1960s and are now in their 30s or 40s increased 29% from 55,000 for parents to nearly 72,000 for their children adjusting for inflation see nothing's holding you back from growth your whole generation is on an upward trajectory that means there's no excuse for you get out there and make that money a failure mentality means focusing on the part of the study which reads 42 percent of children born to parents in the bottom fifth of the income distribution remain in the bottom while 39 percent born to the parents in the top fifth remain at the top the rags to riches story is much more common in Hollywood than on Main Street only six percent of children born to parents with family income at the very bottom moved to the very top six percent that's practically a hundred percent that could be you I mean the odds are against you almost sixteen to one but it could be you and let's be honest here it probably will be you I mean you're the protagonist of this story not any of the other 7.5 billion human beings on the planet you're gonna win no matter the odds just like in a movie you're going to be fine the other 16 people in that statistic are not they are they're in a lot of trouble now maybe you hear those odds and think geez that sounds unfair it sounds like the system is rigged against me it sounds like social class is a self-perpetuating an unfair economic hierarchy designed to concentrate and maintain the authority of a select few over the rest of us but that's a self-limiting belief holding you back in fact anything that contradicts the narrative that you can and will succeed no matter how unfair or prejudicial the circumstances you were born into is just a self-limiting belief any recognition of the difficulties you face is merely a failure on your part to comprehend your ability to transcend them you need to have an abundance mentality not a scarcity mentality people with an abundance mentality believe that there's enough for everyone and don't begrudge other people for what they have people with a scarcity mentality believe that other people's success limits their own for example they might get bitter when they find out something like that the top 1% of people own 45 percent of the wealth on earth and 64 percent of the human beings on that very same planet own less than 2% of the wealth but people with an abundance mentality celebrate the fact that 3% of Americans own more than the bottom half of America see there's no limit on what you can achieve if you believe hard enough people with scarcity mentalities whine about how well successful people get more successful people on the bottom are going into crippling debt it's like they don't even know they have a 6% chance of getting rich but what's really holding these people back what's keeping them from achieving their potential [Music] let's face it everybody over spends a little and that chunk of change adds up fast ask yourself do you really need that Starbucks coffee every morning when you could just make coffee yourself at home yes do not stop consuming most people are living it up high on the hog accruing massive debt you're never going to be able to save money if you can't pay off your credit cards or worse yet turn to predatory payday loan companies what's worse most of the people taking these predatory loans are desperate and poor and they can't afford predatory loans they should really know better avoid costly unnecessary expenses like education car loans or medical treatment the three leading causes of household debt what do you need those things for you Dumbo just budget better and be luckier and of course work harder think you can work one 40-hour a week job and call it square I don't think so pal wages have been depressed relative to inflation since the 70s you have to work several jobs just to get by maybe have a side hustle or two as well remember in the gig economy you can be working literally every second that you're awake and therefore you should be now if people worked fewer jobs then workers would be in higher demand and wages would therefore have to go up and that would be bad for you because of this graph now you could always go ahead and get yourself an in-demand skill and thus get access to even higher wages than the generous below the poverty line wages that you're used to keep in mind though that that will require going into crippling debt that you will be legally barred from discharging even if you go completely bankrupt so think about it do you really need an education I mean will you die without it for that matter do you really need to eat anything but rice and beans do you really need to have your heat on in the house every time it gets cold do you really need non essentials like online shopping or lunch do you even need a house do you even need an apart why not live in a tiny apartment how chic how trendy and if you can't afford any of that do you really need a place to live or food oh shit you do okay well then let me think sounds like what you need is is some way to have the money required to get yourself off the ground you need some way to make sure that you can have you can have the money to buy your way to success inherit a large sum of money or some valuable property from your parents or other relatives either wait patiently for them to die or have them set up some sort of trust fund that you can access at your leisure did you know that almost half of the people in Canada the country I live in are counting on a huge inheritance to bail them out of debt they're not going to get it though the top 10 percent of Canadians have almost half to be precise forty-seven percent of all the wealth in Canada and the bottom 50 percent have less than six percent of that wealth and that's not a lot to inherit all of that is deeply normal and good what's that you say my parents aren't rich fuck off go away go away sorry reflux maybe your parents have a scarcity mindset maybe they're naughty Poor's that don't know their place and haven't been living within their means in either case you might not be able to get a direct monetary inheritance don't worry though there are plenty of self-made billionaires out there take Kylie Jenner for example the youngest self-made billionaire of all time according to Forbes magazine Kylie's just 21 years old and she created a billion-dollar cosmetics Empire from the money she gained modeling no one handed her anything she just made millions of dollars modeling because her family was incredibly rich and famous and she got millions of dollars of free publicity by appearing on their reality TV show or how about Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg both self-made billionaires from origins as lowly Harvard students there's no limit on how much you can self make yourself you can self make yourself all the way into the highest office in the land Donalda Trump who only received a few hundred million dollars from his parents managed to parlay that seed money into a highly successful string of failed businesses until he became racist enough to become president remember anything is possible that being said I can't stress enough the importance of having rich parents even if you don't directly inherit a large sum of money you'll at least have access to a large safety net and people to invest in your health and education during those critical early years of development it's imperative that you have the support network required to either help you achieve academically or by success for you academically remember your entire career path as an adult is largely determined by your actions as a child when you have almost no control over your life and that's good news for you hopefully did you know that research suggests that financial burdens impose a cognitive strain equivalent to the loss of 13 IQ points or to put that in non pseudoscience a full night's sleep so not only do you not have a leg up like your rich friends but your mind isn't even able to think at maximum capacity being poor in our economic system reduces you to being a lesser person than you have the capability of being so don't under any circumstances become poor and if you are poor try to be quiet so now that you've got your nest egg taken care of what are you gonna do with it [Music] now you could work for a living like a peasant but that isn't successful in order to be truly successful you have to have absurd fuck-off cash which you're not gonna get by being a cog in a machine you got to own the machine or something which produces goods and services that way you don't have to produce anything you can pay other people to produce for you I know sounds expensive right and it can be but you got to spend money to make money which again is why it's it's just so important to already have money yeah I cannot stress that enough to succeed in business all you have to do is pay your workers less than the value they produce for you this practice is called exploitation and it's your golden ticket to Richville baby you'd be surprised what poor and desperate people are willing to do for shitty subsistence wages when the alternative is starving to death you want to make people work unpaid overtime sure make them piss in bottles so they don't have to get up from their workstations why not make everyone a contract worker so that you don't have to pay them benefits genius use your imagination remember the worse it is for them the better it probably is for you now some workers might have a failure mentality and might start to complain they might even try to work together to collectively bargain for better pay safer conditions or more control over their work don't panic you have options you can fire everyone and replace them with scabs at an even cheaper price you can have a huge propaganda campaign with misleading statistics to make unionizing seem like a bad deal for your employees even though it isn't you can relocate your company to a country with less strict labor laws maybe hire some kids you can work with prison companies to hire literal slaves hell own the prisons - that's vertical integration baby or just do things the old-fashioned way roll up your sleeves tighten your belt and pay legislators to make collective bargaining more difficult less useful or even illegal then let the police just go to town cracking skulls and arresting people for the hideous crime of trying to make their lives better remember you have all of the power for now they need you because you own stuff you don't need them all they do is all of the actual work which is not as important because because you took a risk okay and I mean sure they weren't able to take that risk and sure you're probably insured against the risk and sure they probably risk more than you do but what's important here is your entrepreneurial spirit okay that's what's that's what's worth the money now if you maintain control over the means of production you can do all sorts of profitable stuff with it and the stuff it makes you can jack up prices so that people have to pay absurd amounts of money for things that they need to live you can throw away half of your perfectly functional inventory into a landfill to create artificial scarcity you can manufacture your products to deliberately become obsolete so that people have to buy them again hell if you have enough of a product you don't even need to sell it you can just speculate on it and drive the price for such insane highs that's simply owning it and letting it rot deliberately keeping people from using it makes you rich somehow it's all very normal and sensible so if you follow it along so far Congrats you've made it you have big piles of money that you can have sex with or whatever it is people do with big piles of money the last step is about how you keep it [Music] visualization is a powerful tool did you know that in one study people have visualized working out before going to the gym had twice as much muscle growth as those who didn't why I leave it to chance you've got to imagine yourself as rich and successful every day remember when people talk about the rich and successful they're the people you should relate to watch aspirational programming that teaches you how rich and successful people behave remember consume the same things that they do vote like they do think like they do do as they say don't think of yourself as poor in fact if it helps try to imagine the poor is dirty and drug riddled kind of subhuman people who are just trying to abuse the system and take your hard-earned money that way you won't feel bad about all the horrible things you're gonna have to do to them sounds easy right well it's trickier than it sounds because remember other people are going to be envisioning their success too which means that you have to envision that much harder they might envision a better world where everyone's basic needs are met which means you have to envision that world being somehow worse for them and make absolutely sure that your vision becomes the accepted one luckily for you plenty of people who share your vision are working on it they own media companies political parties and schools so that they can just help you shape a world where poor people with failure mentalities don't envision anything that's inconvenient for you or your bottom line sometimes though envisioning things in your mind's just isn't enough and you have to start envisioning things with armies and weapons now let's say hypothetically some in grateful country let's call them Chile tries to democratically elect a socialist leader don't worry just envision a fascist coup seek out allies like the CIA who share that vision and can install a puppet dictator who will institute large-scale free-market reforms that benefit you and your buddies hypothetically in the year 1973 remember the market should be free but citizens should not be and if they step out of line they should be gruesomely tortured and executed and before you complain about human rights or democracy need I remind you that those things are symptomatic of a failure mentality the judges economy is on how good they are for the people within them and not how good they are for the tiny minority of rich mutants who actually matter envisioning fascism will get you out of a lot of jams as a capitalist like say for example your neoliberal reforms make everybody in your country poor you can just blame it on the immigrants you accidentally made by making some other country poor or maybe some sort of sexual minority that has nothing to do with anything could be blamed for I don't know weakening the national spirit or some horseshit like that that way nobody's mad at you and statistically only a few million people are likely to die fascism can't solve all your problems though there's no getting around it every business faces challenges maybe you don't have a good place to dump your toxic waste maybe your products are wildly unsafe maybe you're releasing enough carbon into the atmosphere to end life on Earth whatever it may be the small-minded public may not share your vision of profiting endlessly consequences be damned luckily for you policymakers scientists and other officials can be made to share your vision with a little trick called corruption that might sound illegal but sometimes it isn't sometimes it's a cute little euphemism which makes everybody okay with it somehow like lobbying and hell if that doesn't work just outright fund politicians or bogus science if you want nobody's paying attention you can basically do whatever a lot of people with failure mentalities view the state as a burden to overcome for capitalism but remember the state is your ally in maintaining your success they pay the police let appear strikes and get rid of pores they pay the military that extract resources for you all over the world and they look the other way when you sneak some money into the Cayman Islands because they're your buddies now sure they're going to take a small portion of your wealth in the form of taxes if you're a dumb-dumb you can do all sorts of questionably legal things to avoid paying taxes but even if you do end up having to pay them you'll pay a much smaller amount of your net worth than those lower-class Champa dumps if you've successfully followed the slime method you are now rich and successful and also probably always were congratulations you earned it as long as you feel like you did remember for the rest of your life you're going to be dealing with thousands of less successful people trying to tear you down and trying to redistribute the hard-earned wealth that someone else worked hard to earn for you rest easy though it'll never work until it does so enjoy it while you can hey now that I've made you rich and successful could you give to my patreon its patreon.com slash thought slime and that's how I pay for bills did you know that you can also like and subscribe to this channel and jingle-jangle that little bell to get notified when new videos come out and also when I live stream every Thursday at 8 p.m. but enough about me what's new with you what are you what are you doing got any big weekend plans how about that weather [Music]

Channel: Thought Slime

Views: 115,473

Rating: 4.8909092 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: SeAB4RAITPY

Length: 21min 17sec (1277 seconds)

Published: Fri May 17 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/EmTheNerd]

I adore Thought Slime's content! Really good points and I love the sense of humor. He also just seems like a cool person.

[u/BigDaddyDracula]

ThoughtSlime is criminally underrated. I think PeterCoffin said he thinks TS is the funniest lefttuber. He's got a great sense of humor.

[u/TheFiggler]

Can’t wait to see his movie May 31st.

[u/Teaflax]

They are fucking amazing, and as soon as I've watched one of their videos, I feel like I want to share it on FB immediately, but that's not really an option when binge-watching.

P.S. don't think "his" is correct in the title - I remember them mentioning being genderfluid or non-binary.