How To Stop Feeling Depressed - Instant Relief From Depression

hello my name is noah elkrief and today i'm going to talk to you about how to stop feeling depressed more specifically in this video i'm going to take you through what you could call a process in order to help you to stop feeling depressed right now it's not something that you have to practice or have faith in what I'm saying or believe what I'm saying or any of that this is about experiencing a huge impact right now but in order for you to have any impact you have to approach this with a real open mind because what I'm going to say in this video is probably drastically different from anything you've heard before about depression or life in general so to help you to open up a little bit I'm just going to tell you a little bit about Who I am so my name is noah elkrief and i make videos on youtube i also have a video blog it live-in-the-moment org which gets over 25,000 unique visitors each month I wrote a book called a guide to the present moment that hit number one on Amazon and has been a top 5 best seller and top 5 rated book in counseling since it came out in November of 2012 and I run a counseling practice in Manhattan on skype where I've dealt with hundreds of people who have said they're so depressed clinically depressed suicidal and you name it and I've helped them oftentimes very quickly to discover the difference between what is real and what is not and that in turn has immediately brought them back to peace happiness relief rest whatever you want to call it so I don't say that so that you'll trust me I don't say all those things about Who I am so that you believe what I say like untrustworthy it's not about that the reason why I say that is just so you approach this video and my words with the openness of maybe just maybe this can happen maybe he might have an idea of what he's talking about so for the rest of this video what we're going to do is a little different than what you're used to normally when someone is speaking you try to evaluate whether it's true or not and whether I should remember or not relevant or not helpful or not right or wrong but in this what we're going to do is directly discover for ourselves what is real or true right so it's not about learning from me it's about looking for yourself you're exploring discovering Christopher Columbus exploring new territory okay so in this moment right now I want you to just be curious what thoughts are going on in your mind right now what thoughts are popping up just look are they saying what is he talking about I don't understand look at what they're saying where do those thoughts come from who puts them there do you pick the thoughts that enter your mind take a moment in look what's the next thought to pop up in your mind what's the next thought to take your attention do you know whether it will be a comment or a question a judgment or a positive thought a story about the future or a story about the past take a moment and look do you actually know what the next thought to enter your mind will be of course done you have no idea so you don't know what the next thought will be if you control your thoughts if you picked what thoughts entered your mind you would know what the next so look what thoughts are going on right now just look at them notice them if you picked what thoughts entered your mind you would never pick negative thoughts you would never pick all these stories about the past or stories about the future that just create anxiety and shame look you don't pick what thoughts enter your mind just look right now don't believe me look for yourself what stories are coming now so in this moment you'll notice every time a thought pops up in your mind you automatically follow it you automatically give it attention it's not like you decide to give it attention every time a thought enters your mind you automatically follow it you automatically give it attention until another thought pops up and then another tangent another tangent and you just keep following thoughts all day long pretty much all day every day you may have noticed but there's an alternative in this moment just this moment right now just be curious just be curious what will thoughts say next just like looking outside the window I wonder what car will pass by next will it be a black car or red car a Jeep or a convertible you don't know what it will be but it doesn't matter it doesn't matter if a positive thought pops up next or a negative thought a question or an answer in this moment you're just curious I don't control what's going on my mind I wonder what it will say next I don't know and then when a thought pops up and you say oh now it's thinking about this oh it brought up a question up it brought up a story up it brought up this will never help me I don't understand this look you're the one looking at that thought that thought came out of nowhere you didn't pick it you didn't control it you didn't do something to create it you put no effort to pick the thought grab the give attention to the thought your step back from that you're noticing oh there's another thought so each time that you recognize up there's a thought oh I'm giving attention to a thought stop bring your attention back to my eyes not because it's bad to give attention to thoughts now because it's good to give attention to my eyes but just out of curiosity simply because you've been living constantly giving attention to thoughts and what has that created sadness depression general unhappiness so in this moment stop come back and then notice up thoughts are going on again stop come back to my eyes and just keep looking what's the next thought to show up stop come back to my eyes stay here stay with my eyes every time you leave my eyes you go into a fantasy world there's only two options here reality this room what you actually can see in touch or going into fantasies thoughts which aren't don't have anything to do with this moment and are a real stop come back to my eyes just for this moment now let me ask you a question where is your nose right now well it's very obvious right here touch your nose where is your nose right here very simple question right easy enough now show me in this moment where is a problem but don't go into Fantasyland here in reality where is a problem when I ask whereas your nose you stay here with what you can see in touch with what you know to be true what is a fact but when I ask where is a problem eyes go someplace else and we look in a different world but in this moment now in reality can you find a problem stop come back to my eyes come back to this moment I'm not saying can you invent a problem in a Fantasyland Fantasyland is filled with problems you can create infinite and then you spend all day long solving problems that don't exist stop just for this second come back to my eyes just notice the difference between reality and fantasy reality and concept so look in this moment if I go like this that's a movement right if I go like this that's another movement which movement is better in which is worse they're just unique it's not like one is factually better and one is worse you can't see better on this movement or this movement because better isn't part of reality which is my nose ugly or pretty it's just a nose ugly and pretty don't exist in reality their concepts you can't see ugly or pretty on this nose you see nose and then we superimpose concepts onto this nose as if it's part of the facts but we have to separate the facts from our thoughts about the facts stop come back to my eyes so now look where is bad in this moment where is something wrong with you in this moment not in fantasy land in reality stop where is wrong what would wrong even look like what is wrong where is bad show me something bad about you in reality not in a fantasy world here now there's nothing bad about you there's nothing wrong with you that was just a thought it's not who you are thought you see the facts or that you're just here sitting being you see that's it stop come back to my eyes you'll notice mine keeps trying to take your attention that's normal that's natural that's fun it's not your fault that you keep giving attention to thoughts you've been trained to give attention to thoughts pretty much every second of your life it's okay but while you're watching this video each time that you catch yourself up I'm giving attention to thoughts instead of his eyes I'm giving attention to thoughts instead of his words you just stop and come back just for this second you don't need to worry about whether you keep your attention on my eyes or on my hand movements all there is to do is this moment now okay come back that's it you see so here now right where's your nose here we are something wrong with you not in Fantasyland here there is nothing wrong with you there never was it never was stop you see the only reason we have let me take a step back mind has one job right one purpose to maintain its survival you see now what do I mean by that he needs to keep thinking in order to survive you see mine doesn't survive if we don't give it attention if we don't give it energy so the only reason we have to give attention to thoughts to mind is to try to fix something if there's nothing wrong with this moment what would you give attention to mine for if there was nothing wrong why would you give attention to thoughts all day long all you do is think about what is wrong what is bad and how to fix it how to make it better but stop prove to me that something is broken prove to me that something is wrong it needs to be fixed right if someone knocks on your door and says I'm here to fix your windows what's the first thing you're going to do well the first thing you're going to do is check to make sure the windows are broken so when mine keeps offering its lovely help of I'm here to fix you how do I fix myself this wrong that wrong this wrong that's bad for insufficient this way you need to make yourself better improve stop before we get into all this fixing let's look for evidence what's wrong what's broken what's insufficient look in reality can you find anything lacking right now what would lacking look like stop where's your nose where is lacking where is something missing I don't see anything missing you see just because you have a feeling so let's say you have this feeling this feeling is here and it means something is wrong well there may be a feeling but where does it say bad on the feeling where does it say wrong on the feeling it's just a feeling feelings don't mean anything until you believe a thought that says they do you see you can be in peace in the midst of a cut or a bruise or a headache simply because the feelings in your body don't determine whether you're in peace or not if you have a stomachache and you don't have any thoughts about it you're fine when you're distracted from thoughts but if you have a stomachache and tell yourself oh no maybe it's a kidney stone then boom all of a sudden there's a lot of suffering same is true with all the feelings you know you have a feeling in your chest and then you tell yourself it means undepressed it means I'm not worthy it means something is wrong with me no it doesn't that's not part of reality that's an assumption and interpretation a concept that we superimpose on to reality and claim it's part of the facts it is not factual it is not real that a feeling in your body signifies that something is wrong with you it's just a feeling come back to the feeling itself what is the feeling like so there's a feeling here what is it where is it how do I know it's bad I don't like it who doesn't like it that's a thought the reason why there's dislike is because we first believe that it means something bad about us but it doesn't you don't pick what thoughts enter your mind you don't pick whether you believe these thoughts you don't pick whether you give attention to these thoughts because if you did you would never pick negative thoughts you never believed negative thoughts and you would never give it tension to negative thoughts and those are the factors that create these feelings in our body when negative thoughts arise and we believe them and give it tension to them they create feelings but you don't control the factors that create these feelings so if you don't control the factors that create these feelings then you are not to blame for these feelings they don't mean anything about you so stop come back here you're okay how do you know something's broken how do you know something needs to be fixed stop allow yourself to be exactly as you are just for this moment stop allow yourself to be exactly as you are because how do you know something's wrong how do you know you're missing something just because a thought says it it doesn't mean it's real I thought can say anything stop come back allow yourself to just be forget about becoming something you can't become anything other than as you are whether you're in a job that you're doing this all day or you're in a job that's doing this all day your hand movements don't determine anything about you you were here in the midst of every experience in your body right whether there's happiness or sadness you are you whether there's positive thoughts or negative thoughts you are you it doesn't mean anything about you you are here in the midst of everything I'm not talking to the one who is depressed that is a thought that is a story it's not you stop come back to my eyes look who are you right now right now where success Wales failure in reality now can you find it can you show it to me where's funny where's boring right now what does it look like can you show it to me where's ugly or pretty I see nose but ugly or pretty aren't part of reality stop come back we're as likable or unlikable worthy you're unworthy it's only a fantasy a thought a concept it's not who you are you're looking at those thoughts so when I say where is your nose boom very simple answer it in reality but when I say where is unworthiness where is it where is unlike ability where is in a complete you can't find it the closest thing that you could come to is a feeling but a feeling doesn't mean incomplete it's just a feeling which pressure in my chest it doesn't mean you're incomplete doesn't mean there's something wrong stop so now where is depressed I am depressed that's who I am I am depressed but stop where's depression were you you before you had depression something was still there before you were depressed right something is still there after you're depressed that's you there's a feeling that comes and goes are you depressed in every single second no I'm sure in some moments whether you want to admit it or not in some moments when your favorite fools fool arrives at the dinner table when somebody greets you when your favorite show comes on they're seconds where you forget I am depressed and when you forget about it when those stories don't show up of how bad you are how bad your life is how wrong everything is in those moments you still exist right you are here in every moment you are here are you not something is here right now must be you so anything that comes and goes can't be you because you are always here you are here right now so anything that is not here right now can't be you failures not yet I don't see it unworthiness isn't here I don't see it ugly isn't here I don't see it I say nose I see eyes I see face it can't be ugly that's impossible that's a concept you see some people think it's something is pretty the other person thinks it's ugly but neither of them a part of the facts neither of our part of reality we all get so confused between what is real and what is concept you see stop in this moment allow this moment to be exactly as it is whatever you feel just let it be there whether mind is busy or quiet just allow it to be as it is whether you understand you don't understand fine allow that you completely don't understand allow that you're frustrated allow that I'm saying the wrong thing it's not helpful allow yourself to be exactly as you are in this moment and that includes everything allow yourself to be just for a second you don't need to fix anything about you but now notice as I'm speaking there's two listening right now notice that there's something just listening without making any effort to listen listening is just happening and then there's also another type of listening occurring and that is mind trying to understand trying to make sure it figures out trying to determine whether it's helpful or not right or wrong all that stuff but that's not who I'm talking to I'm not talking to the one trying to figure it out I'm not talking to the one trying to understand I'm not talking to the one trying to get there right the better experience the moment when I'm happy stop I'm talking to you the one who's watching all that the one who is watching the effort because the only reason that you would make any effort is if you first believed this moment is insufficient notice that the only reason you would make any effort and try so hard to make sure you understand make sure you get value is if you first believe this moment is lacking but stop I'm not talking to the one that believes something is lacking I'm talking to you so just notice how mind tries to understand what I just said tries to figure it out but mine can't figure it out mine can't understand stop it comes the one who's going to get this is just a step back there's two ways to get something one is mind says I think I understand and the other is ah yeah or I feel that I get it it's a feeling response like you know you really recognize something you had an insight you discovered something you felt what I said that's what this is about not about my thinking I understand it or my thinking it's probably helpful or maybe I could get it or it's definitely not helpful and this isn't right for me and what is he talking about that's not it stop I'm talking to you let yourself be as you are you see we spend every second of every day trying to become something trying to make sure we're productive in every moment because I'm not good enough as I am we don't see that part it's unconscious you see you can't just let ourselves be as we are otherwise we shame ourselves no I wasn't productive that's so bad but why do you need to be so productive what's wrong with you that you have to fix it stop but don't answer that in Fantasyland come back to my eyes notice it's okay right now you're okay there is nothing wrong with you how do I know because wrong doesn't exist in reality it's not part of this moment it's not real you are okay as you are because what could be bad the only one that says bad is a thought unless you can find it in reality it's not real you see stop come back to my eyes in this moment just watch what mine does watch how it tries to understand watch how it judges if you're in peace right now if you're feeling relaxed right now watch our mind tells a story about what about the next moment stop there's no such thing as a good experience or a bad experience because you can be in peace in the midst of every experience you see if you have cancer and you don't know that you do you're fine you can be happy you see cancer doesn't create happiness or suffering the experience in the body doesn't do anything even in the midst of a bruise a cod the stomachache a headache a broken leg if you forget about it for a moment you're fine you see it's just these world of thoughts that makes it seem like I am sad I am you are not depressed that's why I said it you are not depressed a feeling enters your experience that you then label depression and it may be there 95 percent of the time maybe 99 maybe 60% of the time but unless it's there a hundred percent of every single moment in your life it's not who you are it is a feeling that comes and goes and it is a feeling that's simply created by believing stories stories and our mind and don't get me wrong if the feeling is incredibly real and I get it it's intense it's strong but it's not you and it doesn't mean anything about you because you don't control the factors that create it thoughts created stories do and these stories sometimes are conscious maybe we're aware of the specific stories that are constantly taking our attention for example stories of how our life isn't enough we didn't do enough with our life we don't have a purpose our personality isn't good enough we're not like well nobody loves us or whatever right well I have a disease it's bad my condition is bad my house is bad my job is whatever maybe we are aware of the story or maybe it's completely underneath unconscious and we're not aware of it but it's created by stories and then any moment that we're distracted from those stories or in any moment that we take a step back and just recognize it's not me just because a thought says my situation is bad doesn't mean it is it's just a situation your job can create suffering because in some moments that you have your job you don't suffer your personality can create suffering your appearance can create suffering because in some moments that you have the exact same appearance you're not suffering so therefore factually it can't be a cause-and-effect relationship you see if your nose your appearance created suffering then in every moment that you had the same appearance you would have no choice but to suffer but in any moment that you forget how you look you're okay any moment that you forget what job and how bad it is what job you have and how bad it is you're okay stop allow yourself to be as you are in this moment forget about fixing improving changing stop the only one that wants to change is a thought that first says convinces you something is bad something is wrong something is insufficient stop you're okay okay so that's all I'm gonna say right now that's all I'm gonna get to maybe it was long maybe it wasn't but I hope that you at least got to see for a second just a glimpse that who you are is not depressed that the feeling of depression doesn't signify anything about you and that the stories that create depression depression aren't real are just a concept that there is really nothing wrong with you really I'm not just taking that and when you truly discover that for yourself depression will go boom instantly you might have may have felt that for a moment on this call on this end on this video may or you may not have if you haven't that's okay you weren't meant to that's fine but maybe that recognition will occur in five minutes or tomorrow or a week I don't know what's best for you but you don't either you see we have no idea if you get hit if you get hit by a car and you break your leg is that good or bad for your life well it would seem obvious that's bad for my life I'm in pain I might miss work I'm it's going to be inconvenient it's bad but if you then go to the doctor's office and when you're waiting for a surgery or after surgery or just to follow a doctor visit if you meet somebody that gives you your dream job and you love it and then years down the road or dream job or you meet the girl of your dreams or man of your dreams or you meet someone that gives you a book that changes your life a few years later if you're much happier because of that occurrence are you going to say that the car accident the broken leg was good or bad for your life well because it was good for my life overall so in the moment that you decided you had when you broke your leg you decided this is bad you didn't realize it but you are unknowingly saying I know the future I know that this is bad for my life I know but you don't know what all the effects are of anything the reason I say that is you don't know what all the effects are of having these depressing feelings maybe just maybe this depression has occurred to enable you to allow you to open up to something deeper than pursuing happiness through money success love kids purpose shoulds all this other stuff maybe just maybe that's why you feel depressed to open you up to seeing what actually causes suffering what actually makes you happy maybe I don't know but you don't know either so whatever you got from this call perfect that's exactly what meant to happen from this video so used to doing sessions I say call so thank you for watching this video thank you for your time and just know what I look at you when I see you when I'm talking to you I'm not talking to a depressed person I'm talking to you you are not depressed that's depression is a story I am this the best person and all this other stuff that's not who you are right now you are just here sitting listening I'm talking to you the one that sees the thoughts the stories the stories come and go but you will always be here feelings come and go but you will always be okay I think that's really all I'm gonna say so if you want to know more about this type of thing you can check out my website book a session read my book whatever so I hope it helped and that's all enjoy your day bye hello again if you found my video helpful or you enjoyed it I welcome you to click on one of the videos below as you might find them helpful as well or if you want to make sure you never miss another video of mine again you can click the subscribe button over there and if you want my free ebook you're welcome to click the free ebook button over there so thanks again for watching and I'll see you around bye

Channel: Noah Elkrief

Views: 771,256

Keywords: noahelkrief, how to, Depression (Symptom), how to stop feeling depressed, Depression (Disease Or Medical Condition), noah elkrief, depression and how to cope with your condition

Id: o-eE8HI_dpQ

Length: 32min 29sec (1949 seconds)

Published: Sun May 11 2014