How To Restore Broken Character | Dr. Myles Munroe

thank you for joining us for another power-packed message from dr. Myles Munroe provided by Monroe global incorporated and Monroe global comm we transform followers into leaders and leaders into agents of change we hope that this message is a blessing to you as you advance your life and discover your purpose now let's go into the message I'm going to talk about how to restore broken character how to restore broken character in other words how do you come back after your character has been fractured I'm going to focus on understanding the process of leadership restoration and this is probably one of the most difficult experiences leaders have because we've been trained only to succeed we've never been trained on how to fail effectively and I think that's the problem you have to learn how to fail also and what to do with failure and there has been perhaps only 2% of leaders who came back and survived I was watching television before I went to bed last night I was watching the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation channel and the top story for 30 minutes was the mayor of Toronto who was filmed high on cocaine I mean they got the video they also brought out more news that they film him with prostitutes they bought in before the council of counselors in Toronto yesterday they grilled him for almost four hours and every single moment of that four hours he refused to submit his last statement was no matter what you do I'm not stepping down the vote for him to step down was 41 to two he still said I am NOT stepping down they asked him a question did you purchase drugs in the last 30 days he paused for a moment and then he said yes they asked him another question do you still hold to zero toleration on drugs and guns he said yes question does this apply to you he said yes I'm confused I'm gonna talk to you about a word you need to learn it's the word disqualified write it down you can be disqualified as a leader this mayor is disqualified and he refuses to do the honorable thing finally they asked him a question have you told us everything that we should know he paused for a minute he said well there may be another hanging in my closet I am convinced he is moved from stupidity landed on foolishness and I've entered demon tation but it shows you the caliber of leaders we have today Toronto is one of the most beautiful powerful cities in the world and the leader is a drug addict no character what do you do when you lose it all I have a chapter in the book the title of it is how to fall up because we know how to fall down I have lost respect for so many ministers in America and I've also lost respect for those who continue to entertain them I have disassociated myself with organizations in the United States even though they wanted me to be used for their promotion I said to them because you support those who are disqualified I don't want to be named among them how do you fall up so I'm gonna give you what I call the secret to leaders failure and restoration because some of you may have that in your future some of you may be there already and I've come to this summit to try and get help you are in the right place and this goes for politicians and pastors and corporate executives and bishops and housewives and ministers and even parents how do you come back after you fail your children let's talk about it for a minute we learned a few things in this summit so far I'll repeat a couple of them one the foundation of leadership is what character number two the most important component of leadership is character I think you are convinced of that now it's not power or skill or authority it's not competence it's not influence it's character number three the greatest protection of leadership is character the greatest protection of leadership is character you are not protected by your entourage because your entourage may not have character or they may be the ones who are protecting you from your default character they are part of your corruption and number four talents and gifts are only as safe as your character character it's a container of your skills your gifts and your talents it's the container if you break the container you lose your talent and gifts I mentioned to you about law yesterday and I'm going to give you some very quick about law we understood that the foundation of character is values which produce your morals but the question is what produces values the answer is write it down the foundation of ethics is law and law is the source of culture law is the source of morality law produces moral implications all law and written and unwritten unspoken law rather feeds the conscience we talked about that yesterday conscience is unspoken law is the law shouting at you and law is the source of values law interprets values and law establishes values whenever you create a law you've identified a value and this is why the first thing you need to build any nation it's not a prime minister or a president you need a constitution the conclusion contains the ideals of the country the standards that there are going to live by it incorporates and constitutes the the philosophy of the people it is the body of law by which we agree to live by which means that the Constitution is the source of culture so that's how powerful lawyers I thought I would give you a couple thoughts about how law of X culture and then how you can protect yourself from falling by getting back to law character is manifested when your value your principles and your morals are tested no matter what you tell me about your character only tests can prove what it is you can call it test a lot of things you call it temptation you can call it opportunities but your character is tested under pressure number two characters manifested under pressure because you don't believe what you believe until you are tested to break it your convictions are proven by tests not by your pronouncements what you claim must be tested that's why you shouldn't just read a person's resume read their life you'll be amazed how many people embellish their resumes after all who would write bad things about themselves so never be impressed by people's resumes I want to stress again then that character is manifested when self-sacrifice becomes more important than popular compromise who you are is always tested by two things write them down matter of fact three things three things will test your character every time and if you study and in my book on character I did a complete assessment of this with the greatest leader that ever lived Jesus Christ the three things that were tested character he passed the test first one is appetites which includes food drink and sex the second test that would manifest your character is the test for fame and the third one is the test for power they say if you want to know who a man a woman really is give them power and money see what they do with it mr. speaker please so it's so important for you to understand that you are going to be tested now I want to ask you to please do something legally you can take your iPhone and photograph this page because I won't give you time to write a more but these are important I want to just give you a list of what I call the power values we will read them together are you ready number one values are better than rules number two values are more important than rules number three values outlive goals number four values send a message number five values must be identified number six values must be accepted if they're gonna work number seven values must be believed number eight your values shape the organization and the nation number nine values are personal but they are never private number ten values become a culture number eleven your values must be shared number twelve values attract like values hmm number thirteen values become social norms number fourteen values can create or destroy I just want to comment on number twelve values attract like values what do we mean by that whatever your value system is becomes a magnet and it attracts people just like those values values also repel values I mentioned the first day you came here and my session the first time first day I said if someone approaches you to break law or to do a corrupt act in your business or in your ministry or your workplace if they approach you to break a law you are already a failure because somehow in their minds they believe that you would actually do it they actually in other words your values were not loud enough you should wear your values loudly so that people will even tell other people don't even bother him he's not gonna go for that I know the guy so if evil men approach you to do evil you are already defective your values should speak loud stop with the values of leadership write them down the value of faithfulness the value of self-control the value of steadiness the value of integrity toward those you serve the value of responsible communication the value of personal integrity this is important list the value of maturity the value of humility these are the values of leaders each one of these is a seminar so I have a lot of work to do before I die because each one of these are so important you need to teach each one of them for two hours because that's how much we lack in leadership the values that a leader needs to embrace and keep close so critical to that leaders protection now pardon me for moving too quickly because I want to get to the heart of this in a short time what is the impact of a leaders failure what is the impact of a leaders failure write this down failing in leadership is not as great as failing to deal with that failure effectively I repeat failure in leadership is not as great as failing to deal with the failure effectively everybody fails in something everybody have experienced the disappointment in themselves everybody has embarrassed themselves and others everybody has done something that have made them feel depressed because the expectations fell below their own standard that's not the problem the problem is not the failure it's how you deal with that failure and I can say from experience most leaders I have encountered don't know how to handle failure I'm going to give you some specific instructions on how to do it not just for yourself but to help other people second point failure in leadership is really the closing of an account of trust people closed the account when you fail the people shut down the account would account the account of trust remember you cannot pay for trust pray for trust or by trust nor can you demand it it is some of the people deposit on your account of integrity the more they get to know you every time they prove your character they make a deposit you can build up a deposit of trust for 50 years the only problem is if you violate the country account what took you fifty years to build can be lost in 50 seconds and that's the tragedy of failure at least a point number three Trust is the currency of leadership and it is the reason why a leader is successful it's not your personality it's not your power it is not your oratory skills it's not your ability to influence people it's not your position it's not your money or your clout the key to your leadership is trust people follow you because they trust you you violate that you lose the account so you are as safe as the account you protect what are you doing right now that's threatening your account what are you secretly doing that could cancel your account the mayor of Toronto when they first exposed him the police exposed him he denied everything and then the police showed the video I wonder if there's a video on you you have no idea how to satellites work anymore I was talking to the minister of security in Israel Israel has the number one security component in the world he said this to me he said if you take your battery out of your iPhone we still hear every word you say here inside turn it off if you take the battery out yes take a deep breath so you thought you were safe huh after that moment I trembled so unplugging doesn't unplug that's my point so live in a way that you don't care what they hear clap so if the currency of leadership is trust then you can only by leadership success with the trust people give you your number-one goal in life as a leader is to protect the account we need help don't we let's talk a little bit then about the power of leadership trust write this down very important it is impossible to lead those who do not trust you because they will sabotage you you'll be amazed when they're cooking up when you leave the office secondly Trust is a deposit on the leadership account by the followers over a long period of time i define trust for you earlier in the seminar I I told you that trust is an equation the equation is test over time equals trust can you write it just like that test draw a line over time put equal trust which means that trust requires two things testing a person over a long period of time then that's how you build trust in that person that's why you cannot stand up before an audience ever again and say trust me stop using the term it's impossible either they trust you or they don't and that depends on our long they were able to observe you under pressure consistency integrity candor wisdom surviving battles attacks criticism you trust people who survive that's why we trust mr. Nelson Mandela his name has come up so often throughout the world lately because he is trustworthy he is worthy of trust because he's kept steady under pressure his conviction was bigger than their attempts to make him compromise see this picture I like this picture I think we need more leaders in this position you can interpret this picture in many ways one fear of failure oh god please don't let me disappoint the people don't let me disappoint my spouse don't let me disgrace my children cry out this is my position every day I'm like I'm so afraid you think it's joy to be up here you think it is easy for you to shake my hand and tell me how wonderful I've helped you that's not easy you putting pressure on me you're telling me don't mess up a lot of people pursue leadership I have no idea what leadership is cry out go home and make that your position every day every morning you wake up every evening you say please please go ahead don't let me mess up I have a little private pop philosophy I live with here it is before I make a decision I always ask myself well I enjoy remembering this if the answer is no you don't do it leadership let's talk about the leadership account one more time the account of a leader is maintained by the leaders continual faithfulness and protection of that trust no one maintains the trust account only you so hiring an entourage and bodyguards can't help you with trust as a matter of fact it it's possible that you need bodyguards because you lack trust sometimes you don't see people with entourage because they are important is because they are afraid not afraid of you afraid of themselves you are the only one who can protect that account and that account is protected in secret and public constantly you got to protect it in the dark when no one's watching the mayor of Toronto can I go back to him again this guy thought no one knew his account is over I don't care how much he tries and he's making the wrong decision I wish he's watching this right now brother just step down you are disqualified do you know that the American runner who ran the race the Bahamas came second a few months ago the Olympic Committee called our government and said the Bahamas came first hang on they said because they discovered that the American runner to drugs in other words the winner lost you can be fired and still be on the job if you don't believe me acts all God can fire you and people think you are still hired he was still going to work and was fired and the guy who was appointed to take his place was already appointed I hope there's no-one already appointed in your position because God knows some things about you protect your calm I told you and I warned you this is a tough session because this brings the weight on you to protect your character write this down please the leader protects the trust account with his integrity or her integrity and the character you protect that account by your being fixed predictable unmovable set I will not violate my values I will not sell my convictions I got to protect my account this man I've lost his account he's still trying to get it back and adjusts so tough he's trying to help the poor try to help Haiti trying to do good works he never went the route of restoration pretending that it didn't happen doesn't cancel it read aloud please read violation of the trust account by a self-imposed destruction of this integrity and character cannot be restored merely by forgiveness see I gotcha stop telling people forgive me the mayor of Toronto last night repeated it over and again ok yes I was caught forgive me I want the Peale Toronto to forgive me I want the council to forgive me I want to send it to forgive me brother we don't want to forgive you we want you to leave they said forgiveness is not restoration the request for forgiveness is you saying I need help give me room give me space to get help read this one for me go the followers may forgive the leader immediately but the trust account would be depleted don't confuse forgiveness with the restoration of trust you know when you commit adultery in your marriage mmm you know you feel all bad about it remorse all this good stuff you know and you get on your knees oh please forgive me baby you know I just you just was a mistake you know and I didn't mean love you after all you a Christian you got to forgive you know God say forgive and go to all this stuff and you finally get your spouse to say okay I forgive you that has nothing to do with the account forgiveness is not the restoration of trust write it down forgiveness is simply me saying I'm gonna give you wrong to rebuild the account I have heard it said many times when I counsel couples they say you know it's it's been a year now since I committed adultery and my wife still bringing it up listen brother the account is still empty because when you go in the night she still ain't sure where you went you need an ankle brace that takes photographs that she can see oh I'm talking sense here you know you just cancel her forgive me no brother why are you late I mean the question they ask you are all trust questions why why'd you come no mate stop blaming people for not trusting you you destroyed the account and I learned something through my experience with people it takes longer to rebuild it and to destroy it and it takes longer to rebuild it than to build it take a deep breath you need some air leaders trust account read this one for me go the leader must be constantly aware that a trust account which may have been built over 30 or 40 years could be cancelled in 30 or 40 seconds and that's why the leader refused to step down he can't believe it collapsed that quickly you know the mayor of Toronto here we go again he said I I hope to reduce the the pretty call of the the debt of the city I build roads I I build bridges so you cannot keep one of the papers of things he did he missed the point we don't care I build this church I'm the one who founded this church and I labor to this church and I took twenty years I bet brother there's no trust on the account it's gone in 30 seconds 30 years gone in 30 seconds get it it's gone I warned you on this last day don't you take a chance with your account we need to stop failing and start succeeding we need leaders emerging in this century and hopefully a twylar can help in some small way to produce a crop of leaders who the world will be shocked over who are these people where did they come from they are faithful to their spouses they don't steal they don't lie they don't corrupt themselves they would rather go to prison they would rather lose friends they would love it rather even lose the church for the sake of their convictions Oh give us these leaders Oh God read it for me go the leader who has failed cannot expect the account to be re-established as a result of his remorse confession or repentance none of these restore the account I'm sure you've seen the great leaders stand on TV tears running down their faces listen the account is gone though we appreciate your tears we love you hallelujah but go home go get restored go get repaired when your car breaks down you don't leave it in the highway why it can cause accidents get up the road go to the mechanic get out of the pulpit get out of the senior position get out of the office get out you're blocking the highway of people who are trying to make a difference write this down please it may take longer to restore the account than it originally took to build it so protect the account the work is too hard to restore so let's talk about following up before we close following up how to fail successfully it's a paradox how to fail successfully it's there's a way to do it and that's why I have it in the book please get that book and buy ten copies and give it to all your leaders I'm telling you so that they can first of all you need to put the fear back in them then the first can I give you a little secret you want to hear it I discovered gods for its criteria for leadership the first one everywhere God chose a leader he gave a criteria a list of him but the first one was always fear did you know that the first criteria of leadership is fear is a choose one who fears God I don't care about his personality academic achievement his skills his power to speak communication he say forget it if he doesn't fear his character will destroy not just him but the organization you must be afraid don't ever trust yourself that's why you need accountability networks around you that's why a twila is here you know our guys on our team will tell you we we are very nice people but we don't put up with foolishness we will call you out you know their trustees in this room who will tell you their wife called me and say my husband needs input right now and I call them up and say look brother get your act together you won't be a part of this circle we are your examples the wounds of a friend are faithful enemies protect your faults you call them friends a friend doesn't protect your fault they expose it they tell you you got to fix this why because you affecting all of us when you fail you close the account leaders protect the trust account with your character now I want to look at this guy this is the image of someone who has fallen what do I do what is the process of getting back I'm going to give you the list write it down here's what to do if your character fails these are the steps you should take they are fail proof but you got to follow them and they are hard this is why most the leaders who fell don't want to do them but if you follow them you'll come back stronger than when you fell what do you do when you fall number one admission of your need for help that's tough on the news last night they asked the mayor of Toronto do you mind if I check it go on internet they said do you believe you are a drug addict absolutely no do you believe your problems with alcohol absolutely no do you believe you need help absolutely no I said this guy is over I heard such great teaching here this week I am so inspired and someone said this week I wrote it down it was just a Josephine she said if the person on the ground keeps their hand to themselves you can't help them to reach your hand to somebody who refused to take it you can't help them restoration does not begin with the restorer Frank the Dom stop asking people why didn't you come help me this is not about me I didn't fall you can't help a man who doesn't want it or we're still who doesn't think he needs it I know your mind is on people right now I know you yeah I know you think it's something right now I know you know and you know what I'm saying is true they keep on truckin as if nothing happened that's why you should abandon them Paul the Apostle says leave them he said get rid of them don't associate with them anymore he said leave them he says remove them from among your company wow that's tough I just was a nerve yeah I love you so much to keep you in this organized into infected you are an infection number two confession of your violation of the trust you must confess that you violated the trust I learned a lesson that stuck in my head 1975 I was at all robbers University as missions director young guy and I was respond before sending the students out and myself and my colleague Gary Macintosh who's a pastor day we were kind of working together and the students would put their monies in for the trips every summer and we responded for accounting for those monies and I made a mistake in the accounting and the money didn't add up I was so distraught I didn't know what to do and our boss Leslie was in less he worked with me less he there our boss was Bob stamps he was the chaplain and I had to report to him and I said sir I don't know what happened and he just lost it he said what do you mean this is that the kids monies you are about to put me in problems and he shouted at me he said go and fix it and I began to explain why I did or what happened he taught me unless he says shut up and fix it and then he said this words don't ever justify why you did something wrong that was you know that's deep 1975 I could still hear his voice he says if you attempt to justify it you are not sorry you did it why you are explaining why it happened which means you justified wrong there's no justification for wrong I walked out of his office went back to my doom I cried the whole day I didn't go to class like it was I was messed up that was 75 I am standing here over 30 years later and it's still in my spirit he taught me a lesson of integrity when you fail don't explain why that's the point just confess it and admit it take responsibility for it don't explain why you sinned maybe that's why David came back you know David said God against you and only you have I sinned I was born in iniquity shaped in it my sins always before me I have sinned restore the bones that are broken purge me with hyssop and he made it public he wrote it in a book would you write your disgrace in a book no wonder why he came back and died with dignity and gave the world a great son named Solomon number three you must identify a true and reliable authority in your life to be accountable to that's tough we heard that all week is tough to find that person these words are very carefully written a true and reliable it's tough to find a true person genuine and reliable that means they themselves have a strong character that's being tested thirdly after that you should completely submit to that authority with all condition oh boy ladies and gentlemen the authority that I'm talking about is not your friend you know I may be friendly to you but I ain't your friend did you - you tell me I'm your authority I'm not your friend I'm friendly but don't get carried away I will lay into you like a hawk don't put no conditions on the submission you know I don't so many names floating in my head that I know personally they say they say things like yes I'd like to meet with you but let's do it next month I'm like who felt me or you I am available on Thursday you submitted to me you find your way fly come by boat train or fly on a crane you come here Thursday you are you got a problem not me well you know I got some appointments to keep they say they gave me conditions number five obedience to the advice and the counsel and the instruction of that authority without condition this is tough so that means if they tell you I want you to step down from your position for a year while we help you be restored you have to literally go before the organization and say look my authority said I must step down for a year I am gonna see you next year sometime they say you got to sit down for two years sometime they say it's over go find yourself another job the damage is so great that you can not come back to this participatory position are you willing to follow instruction to be restored the next one is even worse accept responsibility for all the failure and you must agree never to attempt to defend yourself or your act of indiscretion don't ever stand up after you have fallen and try to explain it to people I'm giving you some very important year because you are disqualified to speak you lost your authority so what do you do then if you want the people down it leads to number eight you must allow the authority to represent you to the greater community let them speak on your behalf because they still have authority with the people you know when Peter messed up Peter denied Jesus you remember that I can imagine the other eleven guys were excited you know they finally got Peter you know maybe they got a chance to become the favorite did you read how Peter was restored did you recognize who he started when there was a meeting called the final board meeting everyone was sure Peter in coming to this meeting and if Peter had shown up they would attacked him they would have attacked him but it was the skill of the leader the leader said tell my students to meet me and make sure I say Peter come now once the authority calls the guy back it's over but we like to call ourselves back we stand there before the people explain to them well you know oh yes I did have some indiscretion brother leave everybody's weak you know shut up you are disqualified from speaking everybody got weakness you know you are disqualified from speaking your safety under failure is your authority what did I say please write this down when you fall run for cover don't run for explanation run for cover shut your mouth you are disqualified this is why when you go to God you cannot go in your own name you are disqualified so he said don't ever go to the authority in your name your name is no good oh man is this good I'm a 10 sorry number 9 total submission to the disc to the discretion of the authority with regard to your readiness to return to public service now this one is important that means the authority has total control of the discretion as to when it thinks you are ready to come back this is very dangerous I've seen people come as well you know I went to counseling and you know I've been every six months in you know and then the Lord to me to start again shut up man you you you ain't never gonna come back you can't bring yourself back say it say it loud no louder I can't hear you shut it [Applause] don't you ever forget that you cannot bring yourself back after fall the authority have to bring you back and the authority controls when that happens that's why people never come back they just kind of walk back they're not sent back when the authority brings you back then the followers respect for the authority begins to restore the trust account because the father don't trust you anymore they trust the authority you got to rebuild the dress so they got to trust the person who you trust so they can start restoring your account in other words the followers think if he trusts him again then we will begin to trust him again remember you can't demand trust all right last one permanent establishment of a relationship with the authority for ongoing accountability is necessary that means never again the rest of your life will you be without accountability again you will have to report for the rest of your life to an accountable Authority that is to protect you and the people your influence that's how you come back when people don't trust you anymore they trust the ones you trust and as long as the ones you trust trust you they will put trust in you that's why we can be trusted you know because God trusts Jesus he doesn't even want to know your name because it might remind him of your past life so he said keep using my son's name for the rest of your life alright closure there you are you feel it I feel it don't you feel it help me come back you can come back after a fall but you gotta follow the instructions there two books I want to recommend to you the new one in the last chapter is about falling up please read it and teach it to your staff send it to people who messed up so they can realize that they're not doing the right thing to repair the damage the second book is called becoming a leader I dealt with it in that book as well I've restored a few people even folks in our own church who fell same process and it works saved marriages after disaster because they went through the process I've had children who stood before the congregation and said I want to thank pastor Myles for allowing me to trust my father again if it wasn't for him I would never trust my father again I've heard kids say that publicly in front of a congregation they followed the process I know it's tough but you are damaged you need repair not a band-aid finally failure it's not the termination of the leaders call that's good news a failure is not a termination of your assignment or even your gifts you still have your gifts your talents don't leave you in a failure failure must be seen as a detour it's an interruption in your life it's even an attempt to cancel destiny you can get back on course your destiny is not canceled by failure it's canceled by your inability to deal with failure effectively so if you have fallen down in life character destroyed it's time for you to fall up and seek restoration and this is why we are here this summit not just to teach you how to develop character not just to teach you how to protect it but how to restore it if you lose it because there is life after the fall thank you very much thank you once again for listening to this message as we hope that it has been a blessing to you our goal is to show you new paths and opportunities so that you can discover your purpose it is your love support and partnership that makes Monroe global possible please visit us online at www.noventri.com you

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Keywords: myles munroe, dr myles munroe, munroe, munroe global, motivational, inspirational, motivation, inspiration, kingdom, leadership, purpose, character, speaker, author, consultant, bahamas, nassau bahamas, the bahamas, food for thought, educational, learning, self help, personal development, album, speakers, teach me, planning and change, crisis, Azusa, conference, global, teaching, ruth munroe, charisa munroe, mylesjr, myles munroe jr, next generation, the legacy of purpose, legacy, tv show

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Length: 61min 17sec (3677 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 28 2018