How to Raise Children In Today's Culture: For the Family 1

this morning we're starting a new sermon series for the family in fact that's the title of this series for the family and it's exactly what it sounds like it's a series of sermons for the family and more specifically it's to help parents to be proactive rather than reactive when it comes to raising their children you see as parents you need to be very intentional in how you raise your kids now everyone knows what i mean by intentional right yes we should know but let me make sure that you do intentional means that you know in advance what you're going to do and you do it in other words you know what you're doing instead of making it up as you go alone most of the time we want to fake it we want to act like we know what we're doing when in reality we don't we're really just going along with the flow and making it up as we go so here's what i'm telling you when it comes to raising children in today's culture you better know what you're doing instead of making it up as you go along because if you don't know what you're doing you're going to have so many problems with your children that when you get to the age where your children are grown up and gotten out of the house you're going to look back on that time and you're going to think you know what i wish i would have never had children now people i'm not joking i'm serious in fact in november of 1975 anne landers asked this question to parents she said if you could do it all over again would you still have children 10 000 parents responded to her question and 70 percent of those who responded said no if we had to do it over again we would not have had children of course you have to remember these were parents who were raising children in the 60s and early 70s at a time when the counter culture movement was pushing free sex drugs and rebellion to authority now for those of you who were to or who are too young to remember the counter culture movement let me just tell you what the primary tenet of the counter culture movement was it was all about being happy and doing your own thing in fact you're probably familiar with the slogan if it feels good that's right that was the slogan of the 60s and 70s and for parents it was like what in the world are we doing so you can imagine all of the problems that these parents had with children especially when it came to drugs sex and also coming in and looking at rebellion towards authority and those problems tore their families apart and that's why seventy percent of parents said that if we had to do it all over again we wouldn't have had children now our culture is even worse than the 60s and the 70s there's easier access to porn there's easier access to drugs i don't know about you but when i was in high school i knew exactly where to go to get drugs everywhere i could tell you able to get beer at 16 do whatever we wanted to do but i'm telling you there's easier access to drugs and alcohol today and sex is such a part of our culture that very few kids even think about saving themselves for marriage let alone actually doing it now i've said all of this to emphasize that if you don't want to regret having kids then you better be very intentional on how you raise your children which brings me to the first principle that i want to give you this morning if you're taking notes write this down or enter into your iphone i'm getting it all right principle number one to be an effective parent you must know the goal of parenting now if you've been coming for a while you already know what the goal of parenting is right so what is the goal of parenting oh my well according to the bible your goal as a parent is to raise your children to be godly and independent in other words you have two goals as a parent your first goal is to raise your children to be godly and nothing is more important than this nothing mark chapter 8 verse number 36 says and what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but you lose your own soul you see where we spend eternity is the most important thing in the world it's more important than anything else and as a parent it's your responsibility to lead your child to christ and to instill within them the word of god now i can tell you from past experience that there's no greater joy than seeing your kids saved and living a godly life in fact that's exactly what the bible says look at third john chapter one verse number four notice what it says i have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth people that is so true there is no greater joy than to see your child saved and living for the lord and living a godly life on the other hand there's nothing more heartbreaking than to see your child lost and living in sin your second goal is to raise your children to be independent in other words when your children grow up they should not be dependent on you either financially or emotionally if they are dependent upon you then you have not done your job as a parent look at first thessalonians chapter 4 verses 11 and 12. it says make it your ambition to live lead a quiet life you should mind your own business should we stop there and preach a little mini series you should mind your own business and work with your hands just as we told you that so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody did you catch that last part so that you will not be dependent on anybody and anybody includes parents you want to raise your children so that they're not dependent on anyone including you so as a parent you have two goals your first goal is to raise your children to be godly your second goal is to raise your children to be independent and if those two things don't happen then you've failed as a parent now i'm not saying this to shame you or to embarrass you every once in a while i get a nasty little email pastor i want you to understand i think you went too far really embarrassed me or shamed me you knew that i didn't do this and you went on and on about that i want you to understand something that's not my intention but we have a lot of young parents with young children living in the home or we have couples that want to have children and if we don't want them to make the same mistakes that you made i've got to teach them the truth how many of you grew up in a church where you were never taught you were always preached at every sermon was an evangelistic message all you ever heard was turn or burn right the problem is you were never taught as a result of that you didn't know what you were supposed to do as a parent and so you just made it up as you went along and then one day you realized you didn't have any idea what you were doing your kids are out of control they've left the house they're not living for the lord they're living in sin and you think it's not my fault no one told me what i'm supposed to do well here at cornerstone fellowship we are a teaching ministry but that also means for those of you who've already raised your children i'm probably stepping on your toes but here's the good news you're probably going to have grandchildren so you irritate your children now it's your turn to pay them back and you show up at their house and say i want you to listen to this i made a mistake with you i don't want you to make the same mistake with my grandchildren but anyways i just want you to know it's not my intention to embarrass you but if you have not raised your children to be godly or independent you failed as a parent now if you've been coming for a while this isn't new this is old hat right so we're going to go a little bit deeper i basically did this to lay the foundation this was kind of an introduction because what we're going to do is we're going to build on that and we're going to go more in depth first of all i want to explain what it means to be godly because it's not enough to say that we want to raise our children to be godly we need to know what that means so let me give you a definition for the word godly if you're taking notes write this down or do whatever you do in your phone godly is a term that's used to describe a life that is pleasing to god let me say that again godly is a term that's used to describe a life that is pleasing to god so if i say that someone is godly what i'm saying is they're living a life that is pleasing to god and that's what we mean by godly in fact look with me if you would in the book of first thessalonians chapter four verse number one and i'll show you what i'm talking about it says finally dear brothers and sisters he's buttering them up we urge you in the name of the lord jesus to jesus to live in a way that pleases god do you see that that's what godly means to live in a way that pleases god as we have taught you this is interesting because paul is their spiritual father he's going to take the same role as the physical father and he says we're going to teach you how you should live we have taught you to live in a way that pleases god but then he goes further you live this way already and we encourage you to do so even more you know you can live a life that's pleasing to god but you can always do a little bit more and that's what paul is saying so that's the number one goal of parenthood it's to raise your children to be godly to raise your children in a way or to raise your children to live a life that's pleasing to god now if you want your children to be godly you're going to have to instill within them certain convictions and values let me say that again if you want your children to grow up to be godly then you're going to have to instill within them certain convictions and values now does everyone know what i mean by convictions well dictionaries usually divide define conviction as a strong belief but it's more than that in fact when howard hendricks was trying to explain the difference between a belief and a conviction this is what he said he said a belief is something you will argue about a conviction is something you will die for big difference when you go to the dictionary and it defines that a conviction is a strong belief that's not true a conviction is something you will argue about i mean a belief is something you will argue about a conviction is something you will die for you see convictions are what causes us to stand up to peer pressure and say no i'm not going to do that even if it means that we stand alone and the bible is full of examples of young people taking a stand because of their convictions just go through the old testament read story after story i'm going to give you one example how many of you remember the story of shadrach meshach and abednego well they made this great this great big giant statue and it was actually an idol and the king gave a command that when you hear the music play you're to bow down and worship this idol and shadrach meshach and abednego had been carried into captivity they understood what they should be doing as a godly person so here's what they did they said we are not going to do that well the king had this ultimatum if you don't do that we're going to throw you into fiery furnace so notice what took place in daniel chapter 3 verses 16 through 18. so shadrach meshach and abednego replied oh nebuchadnezzar we do not need to defend ourselves before you if we are thrown into the blazing furnace the god whom we serve is able to save us didn't say that he will save us just said our god is able to save us he will rescue us from your power your majesty but even if he doesn't we want to make it clear to you your majesty that we will never serve your gods or worship the goat statue you have set up now people that's a strong conviction but they're not the only ones that had this strong conviction just go back and look at jacob had a strong conviction joseph had strong convictions go read his life when he was thrown into the pit all he had to do is probably tell his brothers i won't tell dad i promise i won't tell him what you're doing or how you're doing it in fact i won't ever bother you guys again if you let me out of here but he didn't do that i'm sure they were looking at joseph in that pit and saying yeah your daddy's favorite now you're going to be over us right now you're down in the pit you know what he probably said hey i don't care what you do it's my job to tell dad what you guys are doing because that's what he sent me to do you see this code of many colors this means that i am going to have the birthright therefore i am going to be the head of the family and i will do things right he may he stood on that conviction and he was sold into slavery he gets down into egypt the first thing that happens is he's working for potiphar everything he touches is being blessed he gets to do anything and everything that he wants because potiphar has realized that if i let this this kid have free reign i'm going to be blessed and potiphar's wife looks at him and says he's a good-looking young man and she wants to have a relationship with him and he refuses to do it because of his convictions and he's thrown into prison and if you read his life he goes through all of this suffering because of his convictions just read through the old testament now as parents you need to know what convictions and values you want to instill within your children so when temptation comes they won't give in to peer pressure that they will take a stand and say no i'm not going to do that and if it means that they have to stand alone then they stand alone so here's what i wanted to instill within my children this is the conviction that i wanted to make sure that my children understood first i wanted to instill within them that we're saved by grace through faith and not of works listed any men should boast and that's based on ephesians chapter 2 verses 8 and 9. notice what this scripture says for by grace are you saved through faith and not that not of yourselves it is the gift of god not of works lest any men should boast now that was the foundation for the convictions that i wanted to place within them but then i took it a step further i wanted to instill within them that grace is not a license to sin we're saved by grace but you need to understand something grace is not a license to sin look at romans chapter 6 verses 1 and 2. well then should we keep on sinning so that god can show us more and more of his wonderful grace of course not now if you read this in the king james version what does it say god forbid and that's actually a more accurate translation and i really wanted my kids to know that true grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lust and to live a life that is righteous sober and godly look at that titus chapter 2 verses 11 through 12. so these are the three scriptures that i base these convictions on notice what it says for the grace of god that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men this is a wonderful grace it will save you it will get you to heaven it will determine your eternal destiny but you need to understand this this grace teaches us that denying ungodliness and worldly lust we should live soberly righteously and godly in this present world people i kept it really simple for my children when it came to instilling certain convictions within them i wanted them to know that god's grace is a wonderful thing it has the power to save us but grace is not a license to sin true grace will teach us to deny ungodliness and worldly lust and to live a godly life i also kept it simple when it came to my values i taught my kids from the time they were little that what we value in our home is god family and education in fact when both of my girls graduated with their bachelor's degree from the university of arkansas we took them out to eat we had a cake made at rick's we're big in derek's bakery over in fedville so anyways it was congratulations but i always said a few words after we ate we had the cake at the restaurant i would stand up and say i'm proud of you because in our family we value three things we value god family and education god is number one family is number two education is number three pretty simple now your conviction and values might not be the same as mine that's okay that's all right but you need to know what conviction values that you want to instill within your children and then you need to drill those into your children from the time they are toddlers to the time that they leave your house you speak it you live it and you expect them to embrace it here's what i found with most children not all children but most children most children will live up to your expectations you expect certain things from them they'll live up to it you don't expect great things from them they won't it was never ever an option that my kids wouldn't go to college from the time they were little i told them you go get your bachelor's degree you'll do that before you get married after you get your bachelor's degree if you want to get married before you get your masters then you can do that both of my girls got a bachelor's degree and a master's degree my daughter my oldest daughter is 30 years old she'll turn 31 she still has two more years of residency and she's looking at a fellowship she could be 35 years old before she's finally doing what she's been called to do we instilled within our kids our values god is number one god's more important than family jesus said that he that loves mother or father brothers sisters more than me is not worthy of me i've let my family know i love my wife more than anything except god my girls know i do anything for them but not give up serving my god god is number one family is number two family is more important than you i give up my ministry for my kids if i'm in the office talking to you and my kids come or my wife needs me i'm sorry you're second place they take priority over you family is number two and education is number three now if you really want to know what is in your heart when it comes to parenting then you need to do this little exercise we're going to do a little exercise here i'm going to start a sentence and i'm going to ask you to finish this sentence how you finish this sentence will determine how you raise your children in other words this exercise is going to determine what's important to you as a parent and here's what i'm going to do i'm going to start a sentence and then i'm going to let you finish the sentence and i don't want you to think too much about it i want you to actually just take notice of the first thing that pops into your head because this is going to show your heart towards parenting your children and you might not have the right heart this is why we're doing this exercise so here goes first thing that pops into your head nothing pleases me more than to see my children what did you put in the blank happy nothing pleases me more than to see my children happy successful nothing pleases me more than to see my children successful what about popular nothing pleases me more than to see my children popular what about good at sports nothing pleases me more than to see my kids good at sports hopefully it's something like this living a godly life for the lord nothing pleases me more than to see my children living a life that's pleasing to the lord now if your answer didn't involve the lord in some way your priorities as a parent are wrong you and god need to have a come to jesus meeting because you're not going to be raising your kids the way you should be and i promise you you'll live to regret it you might not even regret it on this earth but one day when you step into eternity and you get a chance to look back because it's going to be a family reunion in heaven and you realize that what you put a priority on what was so important to you was really not that important what should have been important to you was god what should have been important to you is raising your children to be godly to live a life that's pleasing to the lord principle number two practice what you preach listen to me children will not do what you say they'll do what they see you doing yeah so you need to be what you want them to become you have to be a role model and you have to model the life that you want for them because they're watching everything you do and they can tell by your actions what you really believe in and what you don't believe in what you value and what you don't value and they're going to follow in your footsteps i love rodney atkins song watching you because it's so true listen to the song we're going to run this video hey little bear where'd you learn that song you daddy oh you ready to go [Music] driving through town just my boy and me with a happy meal in his booster seat knowing that he couldn't have the toy till his nuggets were gone a green traffic light turned straight to red i hid in my brakes and mumbled under my breath his fries went flying and his orange drink covered his lap well then my four-year-old said a four-letter word it started with this and i was concerned so i said son now where'd you learn to talk like that [Music] and eat all my food and grow as tall as you are we got cowboy boots and camel pants yeah we're just like a hangry dad i wanna do everything you do [Music] we got back home and i went to the barn i bowed my head and i prayed real hard said lord please help me help my stupid self the nest out of bedtime later that night turning on my son's scooby-doo nightlight he crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees [Music] he closed his little eyes folded his little hands spoke to god like he was talking to a friend and i said son now where'd you learn to pray like that he said i've been watching your dad ain't that cool [Music] and eat all my food and grow as tall as you are we like picks and fangs and holding mama's hands [Music] with tears in my eyes i wrapped him in a hook said my little bear is growing up and he said but when i'm big i'll still know what to do cause i've been watching you that ain't that cool i'm your buckaroo i wanna be like you and eat all my food and grow as tall as you are [Music] when i can do everything you do cause i've been watching now i know that as a parent you want your kids to do what you say and not what you do right but that's not going to happen they're going to imitate you so you've got to step up to the plate and be like the apostle paul notice what paul told the corinthians in 1st corinthians chapter 4 verses 14 through 16. he said i'm not writing these things to shame you but to warn you as my beloved children again he sees himself as their spiritual father notice what he says for even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about christ you have only one spiritual father for i became your father in christ jesus when i preached the good news to you so i urge you to imitate me now here's what's interesting the apostle paul understood that his ministry fulfilled the same role as a parent in other words as a spiritual father his role was the very same as a physical father so he understood that the corinthians were not going to do what he told them to do they were going to do what they saw him doing so he said fine imitate me i'll show you the life i want you to live so watch me and follow my example so parents you're going to have to model the life that you want your children to live and i want to give you four things that you need to model for your kids let me say that again because if you're taking notes you're going to want to write these four things down i'm going to give you four things that you want to model for your children first of all you need to model the right way to suffer this is so important when it comes to what you want to model this is number one you want to model the right way to suffer listen to me life is hard but god is good let me say that again life is hard but god is good look at john chapter 16 verse number 33 and this is what jesus said i don't know why but sometimes we think that the words that are written in red they're a little bit more important i'm telling you all of god's word is god breathe but i do want you to see this was jesus saying this notice what he said i have told you all this so that you may have peace in me here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows but take heart because i have overcome the world people life is hard but god is always good and people life isn't fair get over it i don't know why children are so hung up on this but it's probably because adults are and they're watching you life is not fair get over it in fact we're going to be rewarded for the way we react to things that are unfair look at first peter chapter 2 verses 19 through 21 it said says for god is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment now do you notice what he's saying here god is pleased when you do what is right when you're being treated unfairly that's basically what this is saying of course you get no credit for being patient if you're beaten for doing wrong in other words if you get in trouble for doing wrong well god's not going to be pleased that you got beaten for that no he's going to be pleased when you do what is right even when you're being treated unfairly then he goes further but if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently god is pleased with you that's what it means to be godly you're living a life that's pleasing to god for god calls you to do good even if it means suffering you tell your kids sometimes you can't be popular sometimes you will be made fun of sometimes things don't work out when you do what is right for god calls you to do good even if it means suffering just as christ suffered for you he is your example and you must follow in his steps so you need to teach your kids that when bad things happen or when life isn't fair you keep serving the lord and you keep doing right you don't blame others you don't become resentful or bitter instead you continue to trust god and you continue to do what is right you continue to live a life that's pleasing to god that needs to be modeled for your children you show them how to suffer in the right way quit bellyaching if your boss isn't treating your right you go home and they ask you how your day was so well things didn't work out too well you know the boss sometimes is on me but i want you to understand something i'm doing what god called me to do i'm praying for him i'm living a life that's worthy of jesus christ calling i'm going to do what god's called me to do parents the best thing you can do for your children is teach them to suffer in the right way if your kids are the best on the basketball team but they're riding the bench keep your mouth shut when your kids say well i'm better and so and so you don't go talk to the coach you tell your kids well you know sometimes life isn't fair i don't understand why the coach isn't playing you but i want you to understand you still need to do what is right you be a team player when you get a chance to get into you do the best you can and you don't complain about the coach you be loyal and you support him now all you sports parents come up here after the sermon and i will kick you in the tail you want to know what's wrong with your kids you have not modeled to them how to suffer in the right way well that other kid's parents you know they're on the school board that's how life works sometimes you model to your children how to suffer in the right right way that's number one on the priorities of what you model you ready for number two model wisdom this is number two on the prior priority list for modeling these behaviors for your children in other words you show them how to make wise decisions your kids need to see you working through the decision making process now if you don't have a decision-making chess checklist i'm going to give you one most of you not only do you just parent as it comes along you know you're just doing whatever you're not intentional most of you make decisions that way most of you are impetuous and you don't realize that your kids are watching you when they grow up they're going to be impetuous when it comes to making decisions too because they're patterning their life after you even if they don't know it it's not until you hit about 30 to 40 years old and you realize you're saying all the things that your parents said to you so you you need to model for your kids how to make wise decisions so let me give you a decision making checklist if you don't have one in fact let me just stop right here how many of you have a decision making checklist sad i'm giving it to you right now start taking notes these are the questions you need to ask when you're trying to make a decision now i'm not talking about which candy bar to buy i'm not talking about which dress to choose for easter whether i wear a hat or not to easter i'm not talking about decisions like that i'm talking about big decisions do i quit my job and take this other job do i move my family 300 miles away do we sell our house and buy a bigger house should i step out and do this should i invest a hundred thousand dollars in this this investment over here your kids need to see you going through the decision making process you know it's kind of interesting my daughter is 30 years old oldest youngest is 27. she's getting ready to be 28 mike is getting ready to be 31. they get ready to make important decisions they call me up dad i want your advice rarely do i give them advice you know what i do i start taking them through the decision-making process i have a decision-making checklist i'm going to give it to you these are the questions you ask number one are there biblical principles that apply to the situation biblical principles will guide you in the right direction and most of the time they'll make the decision for you now i'm not going to look at scriptures but i'm going to give you two scriptures for each one of these questions you just write them down you can go home and look at them they're wonderful scriptures they're all from the book of proverbs if you don't get them don't worry about it go to itunes download the app cornerstone alan nolan and you can listen to this and watch this again you can find these scriptures you can go to cornerstonefellowship.tv or dot com or dot church and you can watch this sermon again and get these scriptures so first question are there biblical principles that apply to this situation proverbs chapter 2 verse number 6 proverbs chapter 3 verses 5 and 6. question number two do i have all the facts don't try to make a decision without having all the facts you know whenever someone on my staff comes to me and they said we've got a problem the first thing i want to do is i want to gather all the facts normally if you gather all the facts then the answer to the problem is really quite obvious proverbs chapter 18 verse 13 proverbs chapter 18 verse 17. question number three am i pressured by time to make a premature decision hasty decisions are poor decisions let me tell you something about salesmen salesmen need to make the sale they need to close it so when they go to sales school the first thing they tell you is you need to put a deadline on that so the first thing they're going to tell you is three people are looking at this house the first one who puts the bid is going to get the house this special offer is only good for 24 hours you need to let me know by midnight or you're not going to get it let me tell you normally if there is some type of deadline like that i said well then just count me out you want to know why usually not always but usually hasty decisions are poor decisions proverbs chapter 19 verse 2 proverbs chapter 21 verse 5. question number four do i have any wrong motives that could influence my decision like greed or fear you know fear sometimes motivates us to do stupid things but so does greed and so we need to look at our heart we need to know why do we want to make this decision is it because we're fearful or is it because we're greedy or could be another motive proverbs chapter 16 verse 2 proverbs chapter 20 verse 9. question number five what have past experiences taught me experience is a great teacher let me tell you something if you learn to use experience as a teacher all of your failures in the past become good things because they teach you what to do in the future the bible says that gray hair is a crown you want to know why it's because you lived long enough to see what you need to do and what you don't need to do you should do this you shouldn't do that so that question is what have past experiences taught me proverbs 26 11 proverbs 17 10. question number six what's the advice of those i respect people you seek counsel but not just counsel anywhere bubba down at the bar doesn't know squat that's why he's at the bar you got marriage problems you don't tell your neighbor he's got marriage problems too you go seek out an expert in that field someone who doesn't have a motive i've got a question on my taxes or i want to know some finances i go see jd carey i want someone who knows what they're talking about are you there proverbs chapter 11 verse 14 proverbs chapter 18 verse one question number seven are there any warning signs that this wouldn't be a good decision you know it's kind of interesting whenever we make a bad decision and we look back at it we go oh my gosh there were warning flags all over the place i should have seen that i should have seen this it's not that good to look back hindsight's always 20 20. when you're getting ready to make a decision you look for the warning flags my girls call me up dad should i do this i want to listen everything and get all the facts i look for those warning signs those red flags proverbs 10 17 proverbs 16 25. question number eight have i considered all the possible outcomes for this course of action good and bad in other words what's the worst case scenario if i make this decision and what's the best case scenario if you're 64 and you want to retire at 65 if you're my age at 67 now so if you're 65 and you're getting to retire at 67 and i'm not going to retire sorry i'm going to preach until i die i just want you to know that but anyways you're getting ready retirement what's the worst case scenario if you do all of this with your money you lose it all now you can never retire yeah you look at the worst case scenario if this goes wrong this decision and the best case scenario and figure that it's probably going to be somewhere in the middle but still know what could happen proverbs 14 15 proverbs 27 12. question number nine could this decision jeopardize my integrity or hinder my witness for the lord let me tell you i don't recommend anything that's business i don't do pyramid schemes i don't care if you got the best product in the world don't come ask me to endorse it or be a part of it i don't do that why because if it goes south and people look at me and say well pastor allen said i'm not going to ruin my witness for jesus christ i'm not telling you not to be in a business i'm not telling you not to do that i just want you to understand something if it goes south the first thing you need to be asking is is this going to jeopardize my witness for jesus christ proverbs 10 9 proverbs 16 8. last but not least question number 10 is there a better option you'd be surprised how many times there's a better option proverbs 16 9 proverbs 3 6. now this decision making checklist is for big decisions not for the little bitty things do i paint my bedroom [Music] robin egg blue or sky sun yellow i don't give a dang what you color neither does god you don't go through this decision but let me tell you on the big decisions and here's the thing your kids need to see you doing that i can't tell you the number of times because lisa and i we had some great plans i have a cleric personality and very young we had some great opportunities we bought the jewelry store we opened up another jury store i went in business with my brother and and two fitness centers things were going very well and then god caught called me preach and boy i had to make a big decision so the businesses gave some of them away and went in and we were dirk poor and when you're dirt poor because i went back in the ministry then when you make decisions everything matters started having kids at that point now it's not just me and it's not just me and lisa it's me lisa and two babies as they grew they would see us make decisions and i never tried to hide that from them now i i never wanted them to worry so i never told them anything about financial problems or that in fact now they look back said dad we never knew we were poor good i did my job they would watch me go through this decision-making process that's why today when they have a big decision they'll call me up and say dad i want your advice and usually what i do is i take them through this decision-making checklist when they get there they'll go boy dad that's good i said i'll tell you who you go to talk to and i'll send them to someone who's in that field and they'll make a wise decision that's good teaching pastor allen i got two i'm going to go through real quick number three you need to model hard work and loyalty especially you millennials i'm telling you millennials need to learn how to work i'm tired of hearing you say you're a workaholic because you only know what work is if you're on a salary you're supposed to work a minimum of 40 hours i grew up believing if you're on salary you're going to work at least a minimum of 50 hours millennials today don't ever want to work over 40 hours i don't know i don't get that colossians chapter 3 verse 23 work willingly willingly of whatever you do as though you were working for the lord rather than people got to move on won't go any further and last but not least you need to model faithfulness in the little things look at luke chapter 16 verse number 10 if you are faithful in little things you will be faithful in large ones but if you are dishonest in little things you won't be honest with greater responsibilities god watches how you do things in your life and he doesn't entrust big things to you until he knows you're faithful this is in the context of money if you read the very next verse it's verse 11 says if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth you will who will trust you with the true riches of heaven now these are two different things but he's talking about money in this how many of you know what the four purposes of money are here's the four purposes of money if you're taking notes number one to give give money number two to save save money number three to spend spend money number four to invest invest money most of you don't know what it is to give now we're pretty blessed we have a lot of givers here but if we had people 100 of our members giving like they're supposed to give there's no telling what our church could do saving some of you don't know what saving is that's one of the purposes of money in the bible talks about that you know it's kind of interesting both of my girls always come down to me they get a new job say okay now dad tell me what i need to do i've told you 100 times but they're making sure they're doing it right you have your rainy day fund so you want to save set aside this first thing you do is tithe both of my girls tithe and aaron are living in philadelphia and they were going to a church up there mike is down in tulsa now because she wants to be an ob gyn gynecologist so she's doing her residency in that my son-in-law is going to be an anesthesiologist so he's doing his residency in philadelphia but when they were both in philadelphia they were going to this church and one day they got a call from the pastor and the pastor said i want to take you out to lunch and they thought what in the world and took him out to lunch and here's what he told him said you guys are one of the biggest givers in our church and my daughter was blown away because they don't make much money in residency about 40 000 each and they said we're the biggest yeah you're probably one of the biggest supporters in our church up in the north they don't tithe ungodly people my children tithe they give money they save money they spend money because we know what is for it's fun and they invest money now pull out your discipleship card and we're going to end right here pull it out you don't know what the discipleship card is we'll find it in the foyer it looks like something is every time you hear a sermon you're supposed to ask yourself these three questions is there an example i should follow a command i should obey or a biblical principle i should live by i've given you beaucoups of principles here my gosh instill your convictions and values within your children grace is mine my values are god family and education practice what you preach i gave you four things to model you go home you talk to your spouse are we modeling these things and if not you get your life in order let me tell you what i want i want when i get to heaven i get rewarded because as a crown of a pastor if i've discipled you and you live a godly life then i get a reward for that come on people help me now if you're here this morning i know i haven't and you're not saved i know i haven't talked about jesus but i'm here to tell you can't live a godly life until you make jesus lord of your life

Channel: Cornerstone Fellowship

Views: 1,486

Rating: 4.9529409 out of 5

Keywords: christian parenting, how to raise children, christian marriage, parenting tips, parenting advice, godly advice, bible advice, biblical advice, bible study parenting, how to be a good dad, allen nolan, bible study, cornerstone fellowship

Id: QLqGHU4EDSA

Length: 46min 41sec (2801 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 14 2021