- [Amanda] Hey, Psy2Goers,
welcome back to our channel. Often when we have a crush, there's a desire for
them to feel the same way about you as you feel about them. You may think, "How can I get them to notice me? How can I get them to
view me romantically?" Well, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances
of them viewing you as more than just friends. Here are a few ways to
psychologically attract someone. Number one, reveal a secret of yours and show that you can keep one too. A 2009 study by researchers, Catherine A. Cottrell, Steven L. Neuberg, and Norman P. Li, found that people greatly valued trustworthiness
in their relationships. The study states, "Across
different measures of trait importance and different
groups and relationships, trustworthiness was
considered extremely important for all interdependent others. The evidence for the enhanced importance of cooperativeness across
different interdependent contacts was more equivocal. Along with trustworthiness, they valued trustingness as well." According to researchers, trustingness, in particular, indicates
that an individual will accept as true others'
commitments and promises. An attribute that can save others the costs of repeatedly
signaling their commitment. Trust is huge in any relationship. One way you can show you
trust someone early on is to tell them a small secret of yours. This may bring you closer, more importantly, show
that you can keep one if they reveal a secret to you. Two, ask out someone who is
similarly as attractive as you. First approved in 1966 by
American social psychologist, Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, the matching hypothesis is the idea that people are more likely to form a successful relationship with someone if they're both similar in how generally attractive they are. The American Psychological Association describes the theory as the proposition that people tend to form relationships with individuals who have a
similar level of social value, often with an emphasis on equality and physical attractiveness. Research indicates that
this similarity tends to be greater for couples
having a romantic relationship than for friend. So while you should definitely tell whoever you like your
true feelings for them, you may have an easier time forming a romantic relationship with someone who is similar to how you look. That is if you agree with
the matching hypothesis. No wonder so many couples look similar, really, just keep your
mind open to all types, looks and personalities. If you're struggling, maybe look to someone similar to you, perhaps not only in looks
but personality as well. Are you tired of swiping left and right? Or maybe you're trying to
find love in the wrong place. We wanna thank cupid.com
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finding your match today. Number three, display confidence and show open body language. It's great to have confidence
in yourself for many reasons, and it can often pay off when getting to know others as well. Have you ever heard confidence is key? Well, showing confidence can be key to getting others to notice romantically. Displaying a bit of confidence is often seen as attractive. Why? Well, generally people
want to be confident. So seeing someone who is can be admirable. One way you can appear more confident is to display open body language. Keep your chest and torso open and try not to cross your arms too much. Closed body language can give off the impression that you aren't available or simply don't want to talk. Availability is key in making friends and simply giving others a chance to talk with you. So that crush of yours, if they see you look approachable, they may just want to approach you. Number four, don't be afraid
to show that you like them. Do you have a fear that your crush will find out how you feel about them? Well, them finding out
can often be a good thing. Have you ever heard of reciprocity of a track or reciprocal liking? This is a psychological term used to describe when one person starts to feel attraction for someone only after hearing that that individual likes them. A 1959 study published in Human Relations told their group subjects
that certain individuals in the group would likely like them. After group discussions, objects told researchers
who they liked the most. Can you guess who they liked? Yeah, the subjects chose the people that they were told initially liked them. So if you admire someone
and want to be friends or more than friends,
key them into the idea that you like them. This may get them to
start thinking of you more and therefore get them to like you back. Number or five, choose a date
location with dim lights. So you finally asked your crush out and you are deciding a
location for your first date. Word of advice, pick a
place with dim lighting. In a significant research study published in the journal, Scientific American, researchers showed male subjects two photographs of the same woman. In one of the images researchers changed the size of her pupils
to be faintly larger while the other image was adjusted so she had smaller pupils. None of the men reported
noticing this slight change. The men described the woman with small pupils as
cold, hard, and selfish. And the woman with larger pupils was described as soft,
more feminine, and pretty. Many furthers studies
have had similar results. When it comes to women's
preferences on pupils size, studies suggest that they're
similar in some ways. Findings appears to suggest that women who are attracted to nice guys are attracted to medium sized pupils. While those who like bad boys are attracted to larger pupils. Well, obviously we can't
control the size of our pupils, but dimming the lights will expand them. So that restaurant
you've been deliberating with their romantic candlelight dinner, sounds like an attractive choice, psychologically that is. And number six, engage
in deep conversations and sometimes paraphrase what they say. Research from Harvard found
that deep conversations and meaningfully talking about yourself can help activate the very
same regions of your brain that delicious food or sex activates. The study states that
over a 45 minute period, subject pairs carried out self disclosure and relationship building tasks that gradually escalated in intensity. The study one found
greater post-interaction closeness with these tasks versus comparable small talk tasks. So while small talk is
fine, every now and then, when you're on a romantic date, a more meaningful discussion
may excite them more. Skip all the talk about the weather and share something about yourself. When you both open up and
reveal your true emotions, your partner may fall
in love with the deep, engaging conversations
you've had together instead. Actively listening is often seen as attractive as well. It can't just be you
talking on a first date. A way to show them that
you are actively listening and that you understand them, paraphrase what they've told you and repeat it back to them. This is known as reflective listening. So actively listen and then offer what you understood from their discussion back to them. It's a great way to show
you empathize with them and brings you closer. Findings from a 2007
research study published in the American Journal of Psychotherapy furthered this theory. The studies have found
that when therapists use reflective listening, their patients had a higher chance of disclosing more
information on their emotions and their therapeutic relationship with their therapist improved. So it's good for any type of relationship. Simply put, it brings people closer. So if you engage in a deep conversation under a candlelit dinner, it may even bring you
and your crush closer to a romantic relationship. So will you use any of these
tips to attract someone? Which ones will you try out first? Let us know in the comments down below. Remember that someone may find some of your qualities attractive the more they get to know you. So it's likely worth it to simply ask them on that first date, so you get the chance to show them the great person that you are. And of course, actively
listen to who they are too. As tips number one and four suggest, share a secret of yours. Don't be afraid to let
them know you like them. If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to click the like button and share it with a friend. Subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon from more content like this. As always, thanks for watching.
